Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 27, 2008 21:39:32 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Socastee, South Carolina
SERAPH & SRIRAM vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER
The Team From Down Under storm to the ring as “Thunderstruck” rocks the arena. Suddenly the lights go out. When they come back on Seraph and Sriram are in the ring…and the Aussies aren’t – apparently they’ve seen that trick before. As the Heavenly Violence Connection (as the Japanese fans have dubbed S&S) regroups, Gator and Jack slide into the ring. Jack clubs Seraph, driving him into the corner, while Gator whips Sriram to the opposite corner. A series of lefts and rights later, Gator and Jack hit Irish whips. Seraph goes high, Sriram goes low, and both men eat vicious clotheslines. Seraph rolls out to the floor and Gator follows, leaving Jack and Sriram in the ring, Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell. Jack picks Sriram up and shoves him into the corner. A chop rocks Sriram, but he dodges the second one, reversing positions with Jack. After the third chop, Jack belches. I guess that’s Australian for “Ouch”. Sriram starts an Irish whip, but plants his feet in mid ring, swinging Jack around and into the S&S corner. Jack’s size makes that a little harder than it looks, so Sriram hesitates before following him in, allowing Jack to get a boot up. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Seraph has taken the advantage from Gator by reversing a whip into the ring steps. Seraph stomps away until he sees Jack in the S&S corner. Seraph grabs Jack’s leg, which allows Sriram to knock the wind out of Jack with a shoulder to the midsection. Seraph climbs onto the apron and makes the tag. S&S place Jack on the top turnbuckle and manage to pull off a tandem superplex, Seraph covers, but Gator dives into the ring to break it up at two. Sriram comes in, but gets clothes lined back out. Gator picks Seraph up…CHOMP!! Seraph is dead! Barros sends Gator back to his corner, and now it’s a race for the tag. Jack sits up first and heads for his corner. Before he gets there, he sees Seraph stir and turns back. Jack picks Seraph up and wrings the arm, bending it back into a chicken wing and applying enough pressure to double Seraph over. Still holding on, Jack drives his knee into Seraph’s face several times. This brings Sriram into the ring, but Barros cuts him off. The distraction allows Jack to run Seraph face-first into the turnbuckle Gator has exposed. Seraph crumples as Gator replaces the turnbuckle cover and tags in. Gator picks up a bloody Seraph and attempts to set up the chomp, but Seraph, being unconscious, isn’t cooperating. Gator looks at Jack, who shrugs. After a brief consultation, Gator carries Seraph across the ring, dropping him in the S&S corner and holding Seraph’s hand out for the tag. Sriram looks at Gator in disbelief, then angrily makes the tag, getting kicked in the head as he steps through the ropes. Sriram reverses an Irish whip and hits a backdrop, but gets low bridged by Jack when he hits the ropes for a follow up. While Gator discusses the finer points of Australian lager with Angelo Barros, Jack drops of the apron and helps Sriram back into the ring, accidentally bouncing him off of the railing, apron, ring post, and steel steps in the process. Sriram, though dazed, fights off an attempted Chomp. Gator slams him in the middle of the ring and tags Jack. Sriram get to his feet as Gator and Jack hit opposite ropes…Call of the Wild!!! Angelo Barros instructs Gator to leave the ring as Jack stands Sriram up. Gator suddenly ducks around Barros and runs to the ropes… Call of the Wild!!. Sriram is destroyed, and the crowd starts chanting “One More Time” – What is this, TNA?? Jack makes the cover as Gator slides out of the ring to stomp on a rising Seraph. Angelo Barros counts. One…Two…Three.
WINNERS in 22:17, The Team From Down Under.
SPIN HANSEN vs. JOSH O’NEAL
The announcer doesn’t even have a chance to introduce the match, as Hansen and O’Neal couldn’t be kept apart in the back and are currently in the balcony level near the concession stand. Oh, this is never a good thing. Both men are throwing massive haymakers up in the cheap seats as the crowd parts and lets the big men brawl. Not a lot of action to call right now, as both men are simply throwing fists and barely selling the other’s offense. Wait, O’Neal is starting the grab an advantage, gets into a professional fighter’s stance and throws some stiff jabs in the face of Hansen. Hansen staggers, and that gives O’Neal the chance to grab a chair and crush it hard into Hansen’s head. But Hansen must be part Samoan. He no-sold the chair shot! Hansen head butts O’Neal in the chest (the crowd chants ZIDANE, ZIDANE), then tosses him into a row of chairs! The referee is just coming to the scene of the action, and—What the hell?—begins a 10-count. Is he insane? Or maybe he’s just waving his arms around like referees do? Yeah, that’s probably it. Anyway, O’Neal responds to being tossed into the row of chairs with a wild animal charge, spearing Hansen against the retaining wall! That slows Hansen a bit, so O’Neal drags him over to the concession stand and—here we go, folks! O’Neal grabs a Drink & Destroy T-shirt and chokes out Hansen. Then he grabs a Drink & Destroy coffee mug and busts it over Hansen’s head! Hansen’s busted open! O’Neal grabs another T-shirt and tries to wipe off the blood, but proceeds to smear it all over Hansen’s face! And now we go to the food court! O’Neal drags Hansen to the condiments machine. SWEET RELISH SUPLEX! (I’m not sure what that means or does, but it was fun to write.) O’Neal stands over Hansen and badmouths him, then asks for a beer. Someone gives Hansen a beer, and he downs it in one gulp. He then walks over to the Sam Adams beer fountain and DRINKS STRAIGHT FROM THE TAP! The crowd roars in approval. But no one sees Hansen getting back up (because the Sweet Relish Suplex isn’t that awesome a move), so Hansen is able to blindside O’Neal with a jar of pickles to the head. The glass shatters and O’Neal is an ugly mess of blood and pickle juice. Hansen picks up O’Neal and drags him back to the beer fountains. OH MY GAWD! NO! NO! NOT THAT! Hansen is making O’Neal DRINK COORS LIGHT! OH THE HUMANITY! In fact, it looks like the referee is calling for the bell. Yes, this one is OVER!
Since the match never officially started, this is ruled a NO CONTEST.
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. ERIC O’MAC vs. UNCLE ENTITY
All three men make it to the ring. Canadian Dragon immediately attacks Uncle Entity and backs him into the corner and unleashes a barrage of chops to the chest. Eric is content to back into the corner and watch. CD whips UE across the ring and follows him into the corner with a clothesline. Dragon lets Entity stagger out of the corner and clotheslines him to the mat, when CD turns around he eats a spinning heel kick from EOM. Eric covers CD, but CD kicks out before a one count. Eric climbs to the ropes perched and waiting for CD to get to his feet, Eric misses Uncle Entity who knocks Eric’s leg off the top crotching him on the top rope. Entity climbs the ropes for a superplex, but before HE can finish, CD rushes over and grabs Entity! CD power bombs Entity while Entity superplexes Eric! HOLY SHIT! CD holds onto Entity’s legs and rolls through for a pin, but Entity is able to kick out at two. Eric slides out of the ring to the floor. Canadian Dragon pulls Entity to his feet and nails a side Russian leg sweep. Another cover gets a two count. CD gets to his feet and waits, as Entity is slowly getting up, CD grabs a mahistrol cradle and gets another two count. Entity just manages to kick out at two, CD gets to his feet and turns around just in time to catch a chair from Eric, Eric tries a spinning heel kick but CD ducks it then raises the chair to nail EOM, but Entity super kicks the chair back into CD’s face! Entity pounces and covers CD, but Eric breaks it up at two. CD rolls out of the ring for a breather, and Entity catches Eric with a clothesline. Uncle Entity grabs Eric and drops him with a double chicken wing suplex and a bridge one, two, thr…NO! Eric just manages to free his shoulder. Entity pulls Eric to his feet and whips him into the corner and follows him in with a brutal forearm to the jaw. Entity grabs Eric and bulldogs him out of the corner, then covers for yet another two count. Entity, clearly frustrated now, pulls Eric up and nails a brutal jumping pile driver. Eric may be dead. Entity gets to his feet, CD hits the ring, runs to the corner, leaps to the top rope, springs off the top rope and connects with a shining wizard to the side of Entity’s head. CD grabs Entity and throws him between the ropes and makes the cover on Eric. Eric manages to kick out at two. CD pulls Eric to his feet and throws him out of the ring. Entity comes back in and attacks CD from behind and sends him to the ropes, Entity lowers his head a second too soon though and CD hits the CANADIAN DESTROYER! CD covers, one, two, three! Eric is just a second too late to make the save.
WINNER in 16:38 – Canadian Dragon
THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS
What a contrast in styles here, the high flying Halfrican Americans take on the brawlers Camby and O’Neil, The Devil’s Brigade. Both teams eye each other warily, that doesn’t stop TDB from attacking the second the bell rings. Camby backs Fly into the corner and takes turns trying to cave his chest in with forearms and choking him. Tommy nails Nayr from behind, but the luchadore quickly recovers and the two circle each other looking for an opening, Nayr puts his fists up to box, Tommy gets a grin on his face and does the same. Tommy feigns a couple of punches, then goes for a wicked left, but Nayr docks, grabs Tommy and floats over and plants him with a DDT. Nayr rushes to the corner and leaps on Camby’s back and hits a lung blower. Fly and Nayr then combine to clothesline Tommy over the top rope, then turn and nail Camby with a double super kick that sends Harper over the top rope to the floor. The Devils are furious on the outside while the Halfrican Americans celebrate on the inside. Nayr and Fly get a running start and head to the ropes, Fly dives head first between the ropes and takes out Tommy, sending them both spilling to the floor. Nayr leaps to the top rope and leaps at Camby, and Camby catches him and in one fluid motion turns it into a spine buster on the concrete! My GOD Nayr could be DEAD! Harper then attacks Fly from behind and knocks him to the floor with a clubbing axe handle to the back of the head. As Fly staggers forward, Tommy dims his lights with a Wicked Left! The Devils pull a dazed Fly to his feet and roll him back into the ring. Tommy goes to the corner and it is Camby and Fly as the legal men. Camby pulls Fly to his feet and tries to remove his head from his body with a short clothesline. The Devils methodically work on Fly, keeping him in their half of the ring for almost ten minutes. Nayr has finally made it back to the apron and he cheers his partner on as he struggles for breath trapped in a Camby bear hug. Fly fights the hold and is finals able to break free after biting Camby. Fly crawls to the corner as Camby tags in Tommy, one last lung TAG MADE! Nayr comes in and cleans house, sending Camby to the floor with a drop kick, then turns to Tommy, grabs him by the head, and slams him face first into the turn buckle, then grabs Tommy and climbs the corner, Nayr flips over Tommy and hits a perfect stunner! Nayr jumps to his feet without a cover, looks at Camby on the floor and gets a running start and leaps over the top rope, as Nayr hits Camby, he lets out a yell of pain and spasms, then falls to the floor limp. What the hell? Camby rolls him back onto the ring, and Tommy grabs his legs and locks him in the Gaelic clover leaf! Fly tries to make the save but Camby grabs him from the outside and pulls him under the bottom rope, Fly turns to face Camby then also yells in pain and falls to the floor twitching violently. The referee raises Nayr’s arm three times, it falls three times, this one is over.
WINNERS in 28:21 – The Devil’s Brigade
As TDB walk to the back, we see what Camby had, a taser! Camby looks right in the camera “Hey Fly, how’d ya like my bug zapper! You two are in over your head.” Tommy so eloquently adds “ya fekkin nancy boyos, next time ye leave in a body bag.”
UNDERDAWG vs. AX-MAN – Dog Collar Chain Match
Dawg makes his way to the ring first, he already has the collar and chain around his neck. Ax comes out next and walks right to UD and demands the referee lock the other end around his neck. One thing for sure, Ax has no fear of UD. The two of them begin jawing at each other, then both wrap the chain around their fists and begin hammering away, in a matter of minutes both men are wearing a crimson mask, but neither man takes a step backward! Finally Ax lands a knee to UD’s midsection then loops the chain around his neck and tries to choke UD out. UD falls backward into the corner and slams Ax head against the turnbuckle, Dawg turns around and now it is his turn to pound on Ax. Dawg pulls Ax out of the corner and whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a second too soon and Ax drops an elbow on the back of UD’s head sending him to the mat. Ax then drops a chain wrapped fist right to the back of UD’s head, then rolls him over, no cover since you can’t win this one by pin fall. Instead Ax wraps the chain around his fist and drops it on the inside of UD’s knee. UD grabs his knee in pain, Ax continues working Dawg’s knee, and finally locks on the figure four. A submission won’t matter, but if you break Dawg’s knee, well then I guess you accomplish something. UD gets to the ropes, but, you guessed it, no rope breaks either. You have to touch the four corners. So UD pulls himself AND Ax along the ropes and reaches up and slaps the first turn buckle! The whole time Ax is hammering away on UD’s leg trying to snap his knee. Dawg reaches the second turnbuckle and hits that, Ax has had enough and breaks the hold, scoops UD up and slams him on the mat, then climbs to the second rope. UD recovers in time to yank the chain and pull him to the mat. The two men continue the fight, both men are bleeding buckets. Ax slides under the bottom rope and pulls UD to the floor and the fight rages out there. In addition to chains, they hit each other with chairs, bottles, and anything else that is not nailed down. Ax tries to charge n at UD, but Dawg gets a boot up, then choke slams Ax on the Norwegian Announce Table. Dawg hauls Ax up, slings him over his shoulder and heads to the ring, but Ax recovers faster than anyone should, slips off Dawg’s shoulder and shoves him face first into the steel ring post. Ax pulls Dawg to his feet and they head up the ramp to the stage. Once there, Ax low blows UD then PILEDRIVES HIM ON THE STAGE! Ax then walks to the edge of the stage and throws UD over the edge! Dawg is hanging by his neck just inches from the ground! Ax is using all his strength to keep UD off the ground, in a desperation move, Dawg grabs the chain and yanks, pulling Ax off the stand and sending him crashing to the floor! The referee waves off the match and EMT’s rush to the scene to check on both men.
WINNER – no contest in 27:11
JIM JONES vs. CONCRETE TG – Onslaught Championship Title Match
Test of strength to start. Jones takes the quick advantage. Concrete is down to one knee but his leg is pumping while the crowd is cheering. Concrete works his way back on his feet. Both men struggle to gain to advantage. Concrete ducks under Jones’s arm and delivers a suplex bridge, 1, 2, no. Jones is quickly back up and delivers a few knife edge chops. Concrete takes them in stride and fires back with shots of his own. Jones comes back with forearm smashes to the head. Concrete ducks one delivers a dropkick sending Jones through the second rope and out onto the floor. Jones stands up and shakes off the cobwebs. He looks up and sees Concrete flying through the air over the top rope and crashing down on top of him. Wow. Concrete rolls Jones in and goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Concrete goes to the top rope but Jones is up and catches him on the way up. He throws Concrete down and then jumps all over him and locks in a front headlock. Jones really squeezes the hold tight. Concrete starts to fade but the crowd continue to lend him their support. He rolls Jones over into a pin but Jones rolls back before the three count and continues to hold on to the headlock. Concrete tries it again and Jones rolls through and keeps the hold on. Finally Concrete decided to just lift him up and hit a backsuplex. Hold is now broken. Concrete goes to the top and looks to hit a Swanton Bomb but Jones rolls out of the way just in the nick of time. Jones takes advantage with a suplex. Covers 1, 2, no. Jones argues with the ref he thinks the count was slow. He goes back to work on Concrete with some stomps. Concrete gets back to his feet but Jones is still in control. He lands three forearms that backs Concrete to the corner. Jones is there and he drives Crete’s head into the turnbuckle. The crowd starts to count along but once that starts Jones stops to spoil their fun. Instead he hits an atomic drop. A few more knife edge chops softens him up enough to hit a pile driver. Cover, 1, 2 , just barely got a shoulder up. This simple, stiff offensive attack is taking its toll on Concrete. Jones locks in the abdominal stretch. Concrete is fading. His arms fall limp. The ref lifts it up. It drops. Jones is really pulling the hold. The ref checks the arms again. It drops. The crowd is really buzzing. The ref lifts Crete’s arm a third time and lets go. It drops..only halfway! Concrete hold the arm out straight while the crowd goes nuts. Now the arm is in the air and pumping. Jones is violently shaking his head no. Concrete twists his hips and send Jones to the mat. This is followed by a senton splash. Jones gets to his feet but is clearly stunned, his legs have turned to jello. Concrete continues the assault with a DDT. Covers 1, 2, no. Concrete whips Jones into the ropes and hits a back body drop. Jones struggles back to his feet. Concrete follows it up with a springboard off the second ropes into a dropkick. Jones sells it head over heels a la The Rock. Concrete is feeling it and nails a shining wizard. Jones is out on his feet and takes a huge Flair Flop. Concrete can feel it and he climbs to the top. He looks around at the crowd who are all on their feet. Concrete jumps and is pinning backwards in the air. He is trying a Shooting Star Press!!! He comes down hard against the mat, Jones barely rolled out of the way. Both men stagger to their feet but Jones has the presence of mind to hit a body slam. He follows that with a hard knee drop to Concrete’s temple. Jones covers, hooks the leg and pulls back 1, 2, 3.
WINNER AT 21:07 AND STILL OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION JIM JONES
KZ vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Moose and Williams hit the ring to do battle, but Capps and Adrenaline walk out on the stage in street clothes with microphones:
AA: Hey idiots! You think we're just gonna come down there and beat your asses for those titles tonight in front of all these morons in... in... wherever the hell we are tonight? Not that easy. Nope, in order to be bigger and badder heels than you posers are, we're not even gonna give the fans the privilege of watching the two finest competitors in the Federation wrestle tonight.
JA: Besides, we aren't gonna waste our time fighting Moose and... and... [to AA] what's his partner's name again? [AA shrugs] Whoever you are, we're not gonna fight you in just any match. We're only gonna fight you in a match of OUR choosing. And that match is...
AA: Well, you're just gonna have to come back next week and find out. Count us out, Junior.
As TCH walk out, Williams is incensed, but Moose settles him down as Junior Hale counts Adrenaline and Capps out.
WINNERS in 0:10 by count out: kz
ALTRAGEOUS vs. CAPELLAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Capellan rushes the ring, and the champion bails, but Cap follows him out with a somersault plancha that sends both guys crashing to the rail. Capellan to his feet first and drags Altrageous up and sends him to the rail, then opens up on him with right hands. Referee Mel Creech pulls Capellan away, but Cap turns to stay on the assault, and Altrageous goes to the eyes. The champion sends Cap to the post, then rolls in to catch a breather. But Cap bounces right back in and chases down Altrageous in the corner. The champ begs off, but Cap stomps away, and Altrageous rolls under the ropes to get away. Cap steps out as Altrageous stalls by walking around ringside. Spice gets in Cap's face, and Capellan goes against the crowd's wishes and doesn't deck her, but takes too long coming to that non-decision, and Altrageous runs him down from behind. Altrageous with a suplex on the floor, and he has some words for some front row fans. He tosses Cap in the ring, then rolls in himself. Standing neck breaker, and he holds onto it and rolls into another one. Cover gets a long two. Altrageous measures Capellan with an elbow drop, but a cocky cover results in Cap rolling him over for a two count! Altrageous flips out and goes to the floor and grabs a chair. Creech won't let him bring it in, so Altrageous throws him to the floor and brings the chair in anyway, but eats a DRAGON KICK~! The chair goes flying out of the ring, and Cap makes a cover... but there's no referee. Angelo Barros runs down from the back to make the count! ONE... TWO... but Chris Cole pulls him out of the ring and punks him out. Cole in the ring and puts the boots to Capellan, and after a few moments, we have a two on one beat down, with no wCw in sight to save Capellan. Creech gets back to his feet and calls for the bell, disqualifying Altrageous, not like the champion cares. Cole tosses Capellan to the corner and Altrageous looks for the ALT-OMIC BOMB~! Cole stops him though... and goes to the floor and grabs a table from under the ring. CC sets up the table, and Altrageous is ready to put Cap thru it. But suddenly, STANK hits the ring! He shoves Altrageous to the floor and opens up on Cole taking him over the top rope with a clothesline. Sugar gets in the ring and lines up to kick Stank in the balls, but Stank catches her foot. The crowd begins to buzz as Stank grabs her by the hair. But Altrageous slides back in... and Capellan hits him with ANOTHER DRAGON KICK~! Stank looks around, Sugar screams... but what the hell. Stank puts Sugar THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE STANK-U~! Crowd explodes! Stank laughs, Capellan can't believe it.
WINNER by DQ in 9:33: CAPELLAN.
CHRIS COLE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Thim comes out first, all business as usual. He waits patiently in the corner for Cole to make his way to the ring. The OOWF World Champion’s music plays and Cole comes out – alone, and makes his way to the ring. Both men are booed pretty heavily, no face in the match tonight. Cole gets in the ring and waits in the middle, but Thim just stands in the corner with his arms folded and refuses to come out and meet Cole. Referee Sterling Glaw takes the title and holds it high in the air, Thim never breaks his gaze from Cole. Glaw calls for the bell and Thim slowly walks to the center of the ring and Cole starts jawing with him, Thim just stands there and glares at him. Cole gets more and more animated and starts screaming at Thim, finally Thim has had enough and nails Cole with an open hand slap to the side of the head that sends Cole to the ropes, when he rebounds Thim catches him with a release belly to belly suplex that sends him under the bottom rope to the floor. Thim walks over to the ropes and Cole grabs his leg and pulls him outside the ring. Thim explodes with a knife edge chop to the chest, Cole counters with a rake to the eye, Thim grabs his eyes, then turns and delivers a Zidane head but to the chest that puts Cole on the floor. Thim pulls Cole up and rolls him into the ring and drops an elbow across his chest and covers, but Cole kicks out at two, Thim pulls Cole up and sends him into the corner, backs into the opposite corner and gets a running start and hits Cole with a high knee to the side of the head, Cole staggers out and Thim grabs him and hits a German suplex with a bridge. One, two, NO! Thim pulls Cole to his knees and Cole nails Thim with a low blow that sends him to the mat in pain. Cole gets up and hits the ropes and nails Thim with a kick to the face, then pulls Thim over to the ropes and hangs him on the second rope, bounds off the opposite ropes and drops on Thim crushing him throat first on the ropes. Cole pulls Thim to his feet, scoops him up, slams him to the mat, hits the ropes and drops a knee across his chest. Cover gets a two count. Cole pulls Thim up and backs him to the corner and sets him on the top rope and sets him up for a super plex, but Thim blocks the move once, Cole rakes the eyes, and hits a superplex on Thim. Both men crash to the mat, and as they fall, Thim’s boot catches the referee in the head sending him to the mat. Cole pulls a dazed Thim up and hits the HEADLINER! Cole covers, but the referee is out! Suddenly, someone hits the ring with Cole’s title and SLAMS him in the back of the head, IT’S CANADIAN DRAGON! This brings Altrageous and Firechild out to ring side, but the referee is back on his feet and he stops them before they can get to the ring and order them to the back. CD has slipped back under the ring. As the ref is arguing with Alt and FC, kz rush down the ramp and attack Alt and Firechild! Meanwhile in the ring, Thim is on his feet and he’s waiting for Cole to stand up. As he does, Thim takes him to the mat with a clothesline to the back of the head and locks on the adjustment. Cole is tapping furiously, but the referee is distracted with kz and Alt and FC fighting. Canadian Dragon hits the ring again and hammers Thim in the back of the head with a chair. Thim falls to the mat, both men are down, Cole manages to drape his shoulder across Thim’s chest, the ref turns around and makes the three count! Canadian Dragon climbs the ropes and sits in the corner with the OOWF World Title. On the outside, kz and Alt & Firechild stop fighting and charge the ring, CD tosses the title and slips out of the ring
WINNER in 14:09 Chris Cole
The show ends with 3PS and kz and Thim glaring at Canadian Dragon as he slowly backs up the ramp pointing at all of them, then pointing to his head.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF July ppv! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, July 19th from Fort Defiance, Virginia!
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Live! From Socastee, South Carolina
SERAPH & SRIRAM vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER
The Team From Down Under storm to the ring as “Thunderstruck” rocks the arena. Suddenly the lights go out. When they come back on Seraph and Sriram are in the ring…and the Aussies aren’t – apparently they’ve seen that trick before. As the Heavenly Violence Connection (as the Japanese fans have dubbed S&S) regroups, Gator and Jack slide into the ring. Jack clubs Seraph, driving him into the corner, while Gator whips Sriram to the opposite corner. A series of lefts and rights later, Gator and Jack hit Irish whips. Seraph goes high, Sriram goes low, and both men eat vicious clotheslines. Seraph rolls out to the floor and Gator follows, leaving Jack and Sriram in the ring, Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell. Jack picks Sriram up and shoves him into the corner. A chop rocks Sriram, but he dodges the second one, reversing positions with Jack. After the third chop, Jack belches. I guess that’s Australian for “Ouch”. Sriram starts an Irish whip, but plants his feet in mid ring, swinging Jack around and into the S&S corner. Jack’s size makes that a little harder than it looks, so Sriram hesitates before following him in, allowing Jack to get a boot up. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Seraph has taken the advantage from Gator by reversing a whip into the ring steps. Seraph stomps away until he sees Jack in the S&S corner. Seraph grabs Jack’s leg, which allows Sriram to knock the wind out of Jack with a shoulder to the midsection. Seraph climbs onto the apron and makes the tag. S&S place Jack on the top turnbuckle and manage to pull off a tandem superplex, Seraph covers, but Gator dives into the ring to break it up at two. Sriram comes in, but gets clothes lined back out. Gator picks Seraph up…CHOMP!! Seraph is dead! Barros sends Gator back to his corner, and now it’s a race for the tag. Jack sits up first and heads for his corner. Before he gets there, he sees Seraph stir and turns back. Jack picks Seraph up and wrings the arm, bending it back into a chicken wing and applying enough pressure to double Seraph over. Still holding on, Jack drives his knee into Seraph’s face several times. This brings Sriram into the ring, but Barros cuts him off. The distraction allows Jack to run Seraph face-first into the turnbuckle Gator has exposed. Seraph crumples as Gator replaces the turnbuckle cover and tags in. Gator picks up a bloody Seraph and attempts to set up the chomp, but Seraph, being unconscious, isn’t cooperating. Gator looks at Jack, who shrugs. After a brief consultation, Gator carries Seraph across the ring, dropping him in the S&S corner and holding Seraph’s hand out for the tag. Sriram looks at Gator in disbelief, then angrily makes the tag, getting kicked in the head as he steps through the ropes. Sriram reverses an Irish whip and hits a backdrop, but gets low bridged by Jack when he hits the ropes for a follow up. While Gator discusses the finer points of Australian lager with Angelo Barros, Jack drops of the apron and helps Sriram back into the ring, accidentally bouncing him off of the railing, apron, ring post, and steel steps in the process. Sriram, though dazed, fights off an attempted Chomp. Gator slams him in the middle of the ring and tags Jack. Sriram get to his feet as Gator and Jack hit opposite ropes…Call of the Wild!!! Angelo Barros instructs Gator to leave the ring as Jack stands Sriram up. Gator suddenly ducks around Barros and runs to the ropes… Call of the Wild!!. Sriram is destroyed, and the crowd starts chanting “One More Time” – What is this, TNA?? Jack makes the cover as Gator slides out of the ring to stomp on a rising Seraph. Angelo Barros counts. One…Two…Three.
WINNERS in 22:17, The Team From Down Under.
SPIN HANSEN vs. JOSH O’NEAL
The announcer doesn’t even have a chance to introduce the match, as Hansen and O’Neal couldn’t be kept apart in the back and are currently in the balcony level near the concession stand. Oh, this is never a good thing. Both men are throwing massive haymakers up in the cheap seats as the crowd parts and lets the big men brawl. Not a lot of action to call right now, as both men are simply throwing fists and barely selling the other’s offense. Wait, O’Neal is starting the grab an advantage, gets into a professional fighter’s stance and throws some stiff jabs in the face of Hansen. Hansen staggers, and that gives O’Neal the chance to grab a chair and crush it hard into Hansen’s head. But Hansen must be part Samoan. He no-sold the chair shot! Hansen head butts O’Neal in the chest (the crowd chants ZIDANE, ZIDANE), then tosses him into a row of chairs! The referee is just coming to the scene of the action, and—What the hell?—begins a 10-count. Is he insane? Or maybe he’s just waving his arms around like referees do? Yeah, that’s probably it. Anyway, O’Neal responds to being tossed into the row of chairs with a wild animal charge, spearing Hansen against the retaining wall! That slows Hansen a bit, so O’Neal drags him over to the concession stand and—here we go, folks! O’Neal grabs a Drink & Destroy T-shirt and chokes out Hansen. Then he grabs a Drink & Destroy coffee mug and busts it over Hansen’s head! Hansen’s busted open! O’Neal grabs another T-shirt and tries to wipe off the blood, but proceeds to smear it all over Hansen’s face! And now we go to the food court! O’Neal drags Hansen to the condiments machine. SWEET RELISH SUPLEX! (I’m not sure what that means or does, but it was fun to write.) O’Neal stands over Hansen and badmouths him, then asks for a beer. Someone gives Hansen a beer, and he downs it in one gulp. He then walks over to the Sam Adams beer fountain and DRINKS STRAIGHT FROM THE TAP! The crowd roars in approval. But no one sees Hansen getting back up (because the Sweet Relish Suplex isn’t that awesome a move), so Hansen is able to blindside O’Neal with a jar of pickles to the head. The glass shatters and O’Neal is an ugly mess of blood and pickle juice. Hansen picks up O’Neal and drags him back to the beer fountains. OH MY GAWD! NO! NO! NOT THAT! Hansen is making O’Neal DRINK COORS LIGHT! OH THE HUMANITY! In fact, it looks like the referee is calling for the bell. Yes, this one is OVER!
Since the match never officially started, this is ruled a NO CONTEST.
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. ERIC O’MAC vs. UNCLE ENTITY
All three men make it to the ring. Canadian Dragon immediately attacks Uncle Entity and backs him into the corner and unleashes a barrage of chops to the chest. Eric is content to back into the corner and watch. CD whips UE across the ring and follows him into the corner with a clothesline. Dragon lets Entity stagger out of the corner and clotheslines him to the mat, when CD turns around he eats a spinning heel kick from EOM. Eric covers CD, but CD kicks out before a one count. Eric climbs to the ropes perched and waiting for CD to get to his feet, Eric misses Uncle Entity who knocks Eric’s leg off the top crotching him on the top rope. Entity climbs the ropes for a superplex, but before HE can finish, CD rushes over and grabs Entity! CD power bombs Entity while Entity superplexes Eric! HOLY SHIT! CD holds onto Entity’s legs and rolls through for a pin, but Entity is able to kick out at two. Eric slides out of the ring to the floor. Canadian Dragon pulls Entity to his feet and nails a side Russian leg sweep. Another cover gets a two count. CD gets to his feet and waits, as Entity is slowly getting up, CD grabs a mahistrol cradle and gets another two count. Entity just manages to kick out at two, CD gets to his feet and turns around just in time to catch a chair from Eric, Eric tries a spinning heel kick but CD ducks it then raises the chair to nail EOM, but Entity super kicks the chair back into CD’s face! Entity pounces and covers CD, but Eric breaks it up at two. CD rolls out of the ring for a breather, and Entity catches Eric with a clothesline. Uncle Entity grabs Eric and drops him with a double chicken wing suplex and a bridge one, two, thr…NO! Eric just manages to free his shoulder. Entity pulls Eric to his feet and whips him into the corner and follows him in with a brutal forearm to the jaw. Entity grabs Eric and bulldogs him out of the corner, then covers for yet another two count. Entity, clearly frustrated now, pulls Eric up and nails a brutal jumping pile driver. Eric may be dead. Entity gets to his feet, CD hits the ring, runs to the corner, leaps to the top rope, springs off the top rope and connects with a shining wizard to the side of Entity’s head. CD grabs Entity and throws him between the ropes and makes the cover on Eric. Eric manages to kick out at two. CD pulls Eric to his feet and throws him out of the ring. Entity comes back in and attacks CD from behind and sends him to the ropes, Entity lowers his head a second too soon though and CD hits the CANADIAN DESTROYER! CD covers, one, two, three! Eric is just a second too late to make the save.
WINNER in 16:38 – Canadian Dragon
THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS
What a contrast in styles here, the high flying Halfrican Americans take on the brawlers Camby and O’Neil, The Devil’s Brigade. Both teams eye each other warily, that doesn’t stop TDB from attacking the second the bell rings. Camby backs Fly into the corner and takes turns trying to cave his chest in with forearms and choking him. Tommy nails Nayr from behind, but the luchadore quickly recovers and the two circle each other looking for an opening, Nayr puts his fists up to box, Tommy gets a grin on his face and does the same. Tommy feigns a couple of punches, then goes for a wicked left, but Nayr docks, grabs Tommy and floats over and plants him with a DDT. Nayr rushes to the corner and leaps on Camby’s back and hits a lung blower. Fly and Nayr then combine to clothesline Tommy over the top rope, then turn and nail Camby with a double super kick that sends Harper over the top rope to the floor. The Devils are furious on the outside while the Halfrican Americans celebrate on the inside. Nayr and Fly get a running start and head to the ropes, Fly dives head first between the ropes and takes out Tommy, sending them both spilling to the floor. Nayr leaps to the top rope and leaps at Camby, and Camby catches him and in one fluid motion turns it into a spine buster on the concrete! My GOD Nayr could be DEAD! Harper then attacks Fly from behind and knocks him to the floor with a clubbing axe handle to the back of the head. As Fly staggers forward, Tommy dims his lights with a Wicked Left! The Devils pull a dazed Fly to his feet and roll him back into the ring. Tommy goes to the corner and it is Camby and Fly as the legal men. Camby pulls Fly to his feet and tries to remove his head from his body with a short clothesline. The Devils methodically work on Fly, keeping him in their half of the ring for almost ten minutes. Nayr has finally made it back to the apron and he cheers his partner on as he struggles for breath trapped in a Camby bear hug. Fly fights the hold and is finals able to break free after biting Camby. Fly crawls to the corner as Camby tags in Tommy, one last lung TAG MADE! Nayr comes in and cleans house, sending Camby to the floor with a drop kick, then turns to Tommy, grabs him by the head, and slams him face first into the turn buckle, then grabs Tommy and climbs the corner, Nayr flips over Tommy and hits a perfect stunner! Nayr jumps to his feet without a cover, looks at Camby on the floor and gets a running start and leaps over the top rope, as Nayr hits Camby, he lets out a yell of pain and spasms, then falls to the floor limp. What the hell? Camby rolls him back onto the ring, and Tommy grabs his legs and locks him in the Gaelic clover leaf! Fly tries to make the save but Camby grabs him from the outside and pulls him under the bottom rope, Fly turns to face Camby then also yells in pain and falls to the floor twitching violently. The referee raises Nayr’s arm three times, it falls three times, this one is over.
WINNERS in 28:21 – The Devil’s Brigade
As TDB walk to the back, we see what Camby had, a taser! Camby looks right in the camera “Hey Fly, how’d ya like my bug zapper! You two are in over your head.” Tommy so eloquently adds “ya fekkin nancy boyos, next time ye leave in a body bag.”
UNDERDAWG vs. AX-MAN – Dog Collar Chain Match
Dawg makes his way to the ring first, he already has the collar and chain around his neck. Ax comes out next and walks right to UD and demands the referee lock the other end around his neck. One thing for sure, Ax has no fear of UD. The two of them begin jawing at each other, then both wrap the chain around their fists and begin hammering away, in a matter of minutes both men are wearing a crimson mask, but neither man takes a step backward! Finally Ax lands a knee to UD’s midsection then loops the chain around his neck and tries to choke UD out. UD falls backward into the corner and slams Ax head against the turnbuckle, Dawg turns around and now it is his turn to pound on Ax. Dawg pulls Ax out of the corner and whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a second too soon and Ax drops an elbow on the back of UD’s head sending him to the mat. Ax then drops a chain wrapped fist right to the back of UD’s head, then rolls him over, no cover since you can’t win this one by pin fall. Instead Ax wraps the chain around his fist and drops it on the inside of UD’s knee. UD grabs his knee in pain, Ax continues working Dawg’s knee, and finally locks on the figure four. A submission won’t matter, but if you break Dawg’s knee, well then I guess you accomplish something. UD gets to the ropes, but, you guessed it, no rope breaks either. You have to touch the four corners. So UD pulls himself AND Ax along the ropes and reaches up and slaps the first turn buckle! The whole time Ax is hammering away on UD’s leg trying to snap his knee. Dawg reaches the second turnbuckle and hits that, Ax has had enough and breaks the hold, scoops UD up and slams him on the mat, then climbs to the second rope. UD recovers in time to yank the chain and pull him to the mat. The two men continue the fight, both men are bleeding buckets. Ax slides under the bottom rope and pulls UD to the floor and the fight rages out there. In addition to chains, they hit each other with chairs, bottles, and anything else that is not nailed down. Ax tries to charge n at UD, but Dawg gets a boot up, then choke slams Ax on the Norwegian Announce Table. Dawg hauls Ax up, slings him over his shoulder and heads to the ring, but Ax recovers faster than anyone should, slips off Dawg’s shoulder and shoves him face first into the steel ring post. Ax pulls Dawg to his feet and they head up the ramp to the stage. Once there, Ax low blows UD then PILEDRIVES HIM ON THE STAGE! Ax then walks to the edge of the stage and throws UD over the edge! Dawg is hanging by his neck just inches from the ground! Ax is using all his strength to keep UD off the ground, in a desperation move, Dawg grabs the chain and yanks, pulling Ax off the stand and sending him crashing to the floor! The referee waves off the match and EMT’s rush to the scene to check on both men.
WINNER – no contest in 27:11
JIM JONES vs. CONCRETE TG – Onslaught Championship Title Match
Test of strength to start. Jones takes the quick advantage. Concrete is down to one knee but his leg is pumping while the crowd is cheering. Concrete works his way back on his feet. Both men struggle to gain to advantage. Concrete ducks under Jones’s arm and delivers a suplex bridge, 1, 2, no. Jones is quickly back up and delivers a few knife edge chops. Concrete takes them in stride and fires back with shots of his own. Jones comes back with forearm smashes to the head. Concrete ducks one delivers a dropkick sending Jones through the second rope and out onto the floor. Jones stands up and shakes off the cobwebs. He looks up and sees Concrete flying through the air over the top rope and crashing down on top of him. Wow. Concrete rolls Jones in and goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Concrete goes to the top rope but Jones is up and catches him on the way up. He throws Concrete down and then jumps all over him and locks in a front headlock. Jones really squeezes the hold tight. Concrete starts to fade but the crowd continue to lend him their support. He rolls Jones over into a pin but Jones rolls back before the three count and continues to hold on to the headlock. Concrete tries it again and Jones rolls through and keeps the hold on. Finally Concrete decided to just lift him up and hit a backsuplex. Hold is now broken. Concrete goes to the top and looks to hit a Swanton Bomb but Jones rolls out of the way just in the nick of time. Jones takes advantage with a suplex. Covers 1, 2, no. Jones argues with the ref he thinks the count was slow. He goes back to work on Concrete with some stomps. Concrete gets back to his feet but Jones is still in control. He lands three forearms that backs Concrete to the corner. Jones is there and he drives Crete’s head into the turnbuckle. The crowd starts to count along but once that starts Jones stops to spoil their fun. Instead he hits an atomic drop. A few more knife edge chops softens him up enough to hit a pile driver. Cover, 1, 2 , just barely got a shoulder up. This simple, stiff offensive attack is taking its toll on Concrete. Jones locks in the abdominal stretch. Concrete is fading. His arms fall limp. The ref lifts it up. It drops. Jones is really pulling the hold. The ref checks the arms again. It drops. The crowd is really buzzing. The ref lifts Crete’s arm a third time and lets go. It drops..only halfway! Concrete hold the arm out straight while the crowd goes nuts. Now the arm is in the air and pumping. Jones is violently shaking his head no. Concrete twists his hips and send Jones to the mat. This is followed by a senton splash. Jones gets to his feet but is clearly stunned, his legs have turned to jello. Concrete continues the assault with a DDT. Covers 1, 2, no. Concrete whips Jones into the ropes and hits a back body drop. Jones struggles back to his feet. Concrete follows it up with a springboard off the second ropes into a dropkick. Jones sells it head over heels a la The Rock. Concrete is feeling it and nails a shining wizard. Jones is out on his feet and takes a huge Flair Flop. Concrete can feel it and he climbs to the top. He looks around at the crowd who are all on their feet. Concrete jumps and is pinning backwards in the air. He is trying a Shooting Star Press!!! He comes down hard against the mat, Jones barely rolled out of the way. Both men stagger to their feet but Jones has the presence of mind to hit a body slam. He follows that with a hard knee drop to Concrete’s temple. Jones covers, hooks the leg and pulls back 1, 2, 3.
WINNER AT 21:07 AND STILL OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION JIM JONES
KZ vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Moose and Williams hit the ring to do battle, but Capps and Adrenaline walk out on the stage in street clothes with microphones:
AA: Hey idiots! You think we're just gonna come down there and beat your asses for those titles tonight in front of all these morons in... in... wherever the hell we are tonight? Not that easy. Nope, in order to be bigger and badder heels than you posers are, we're not even gonna give the fans the privilege of watching the two finest competitors in the Federation wrestle tonight.
JA: Besides, we aren't gonna waste our time fighting Moose and... and... [to AA] what's his partner's name again? [AA shrugs] Whoever you are, we're not gonna fight you in just any match. We're only gonna fight you in a match of OUR choosing. And that match is...
AA: Well, you're just gonna have to come back next week and find out. Count us out, Junior.
As TCH walk out, Williams is incensed, but Moose settles him down as Junior Hale counts Adrenaline and Capps out.
WINNERS in 0:10 by count out: kz
ALTRAGEOUS vs. CAPELLAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Capellan rushes the ring, and the champion bails, but Cap follows him out with a somersault plancha that sends both guys crashing to the rail. Capellan to his feet first and drags Altrageous up and sends him to the rail, then opens up on him with right hands. Referee Mel Creech pulls Capellan away, but Cap turns to stay on the assault, and Altrageous goes to the eyes. The champion sends Cap to the post, then rolls in to catch a breather. But Cap bounces right back in and chases down Altrageous in the corner. The champ begs off, but Cap stomps away, and Altrageous rolls under the ropes to get away. Cap steps out as Altrageous stalls by walking around ringside. Spice gets in Cap's face, and Capellan goes against the crowd's wishes and doesn't deck her, but takes too long coming to that non-decision, and Altrageous runs him down from behind. Altrageous with a suplex on the floor, and he has some words for some front row fans. He tosses Cap in the ring, then rolls in himself. Standing neck breaker, and he holds onto it and rolls into another one. Cover gets a long two. Altrageous measures Capellan with an elbow drop, but a cocky cover results in Cap rolling him over for a two count! Altrageous flips out and goes to the floor and grabs a chair. Creech won't let him bring it in, so Altrageous throws him to the floor and brings the chair in anyway, but eats a DRAGON KICK~! The chair goes flying out of the ring, and Cap makes a cover... but there's no referee. Angelo Barros runs down from the back to make the count! ONE... TWO... but Chris Cole pulls him out of the ring and punks him out. Cole in the ring and puts the boots to Capellan, and after a few moments, we have a two on one beat down, with no wCw in sight to save Capellan. Creech gets back to his feet and calls for the bell, disqualifying Altrageous, not like the champion cares. Cole tosses Capellan to the corner and Altrageous looks for the ALT-OMIC BOMB~! Cole stops him though... and goes to the floor and grabs a table from under the ring. CC sets up the table, and Altrageous is ready to put Cap thru it. But suddenly, STANK hits the ring! He shoves Altrageous to the floor and opens up on Cole taking him over the top rope with a clothesline. Sugar gets in the ring and lines up to kick Stank in the balls, but Stank catches her foot. The crowd begins to buzz as Stank grabs her by the hair. But Altrageous slides back in... and Capellan hits him with ANOTHER DRAGON KICK~! Stank looks around, Sugar screams... but what the hell. Stank puts Sugar THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE STANK-U~! Crowd explodes! Stank laughs, Capellan can't believe it.
WINNER by DQ in 9:33: CAPELLAN.
CHRIS COLE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Thim comes out first, all business as usual. He waits patiently in the corner for Cole to make his way to the ring. The OOWF World Champion’s music plays and Cole comes out – alone, and makes his way to the ring. Both men are booed pretty heavily, no face in the match tonight. Cole gets in the ring and waits in the middle, but Thim just stands in the corner with his arms folded and refuses to come out and meet Cole. Referee Sterling Glaw takes the title and holds it high in the air, Thim never breaks his gaze from Cole. Glaw calls for the bell and Thim slowly walks to the center of the ring and Cole starts jawing with him, Thim just stands there and glares at him. Cole gets more and more animated and starts screaming at Thim, finally Thim has had enough and nails Cole with an open hand slap to the side of the head that sends Cole to the ropes, when he rebounds Thim catches him with a release belly to belly suplex that sends him under the bottom rope to the floor. Thim walks over to the ropes and Cole grabs his leg and pulls him outside the ring. Thim explodes with a knife edge chop to the chest, Cole counters with a rake to the eye, Thim grabs his eyes, then turns and delivers a Zidane head but to the chest that puts Cole on the floor. Thim pulls Cole up and rolls him into the ring and drops an elbow across his chest and covers, but Cole kicks out at two, Thim pulls Cole up and sends him into the corner, backs into the opposite corner and gets a running start and hits Cole with a high knee to the side of the head, Cole staggers out and Thim grabs him and hits a German suplex with a bridge. One, two, NO! Thim pulls Cole to his knees and Cole nails Thim with a low blow that sends him to the mat in pain. Cole gets up and hits the ropes and nails Thim with a kick to the face, then pulls Thim over to the ropes and hangs him on the second rope, bounds off the opposite ropes and drops on Thim crushing him throat first on the ropes. Cole pulls Thim to his feet, scoops him up, slams him to the mat, hits the ropes and drops a knee across his chest. Cover gets a two count. Cole pulls Thim up and backs him to the corner and sets him on the top rope and sets him up for a super plex, but Thim blocks the move once, Cole rakes the eyes, and hits a superplex on Thim. Both men crash to the mat, and as they fall, Thim’s boot catches the referee in the head sending him to the mat. Cole pulls a dazed Thim up and hits the HEADLINER! Cole covers, but the referee is out! Suddenly, someone hits the ring with Cole’s title and SLAMS him in the back of the head, IT’S CANADIAN DRAGON! This brings Altrageous and Firechild out to ring side, but the referee is back on his feet and he stops them before they can get to the ring and order them to the back. CD has slipped back under the ring. As the ref is arguing with Alt and FC, kz rush down the ramp and attack Alt and Firechild! Meanwhile in the ring, Thim is on his feet and he’s waiting for Cole to stand up. As he does, Thim takes him to the mat with a clothesline to the back of the head and locks on the adjustment. Cole is tapping furiously, but the referee is distracted with kz and Alt and FC fighting. Canadian Dragon hits the ring again and hammers Thim in the back of the head with a chair. Thim falls to the mat, both men are down, Cole manages to drape his shoulder across Thim’s chest, the ref turns around and makes the three count! Canadian Dragon climbs the ropes and sits in the corner with the OOWF World Title. On the outside, kz and Alt & Firechild stop fighting and charge the ring, CD tosses the title and slips out of the ring
WINNER in 14:09 Chris Cole
The show ends with 3PS and kz and Thim glaring at Canadian Dragon as he slowly backs up the ramp pointing at all of them, then pointing to his head.
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