|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:52:25 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack gets back to his locker room, slightly buzzed from hsi time at the bar. He taps his solitary light bulb and sorts through his things when there's a "bloop" on his laptop.
MHJ: Who the hell is NipponGymRaven55 and why do they want to video chat with me?
Moose clicks the window and A'isha al-Takriti pops up on screen.
MHJ: Oh, it's you.
Aa-T: Nice to see you too, Ket.
MHJ: Hello, A'isha.
Aa-T: Konichiwa.
Konichiwa!!! Curry Man's music begins to play and he pops up behind A'isha and starts to do his dance.
Aa-T: Curry Man!
CM: Masahiro. Chono.
Aa-T: You haven't been relevant for two years, now get out of here!
Curry Man lowers his head.
CM: Konichiwa.
Aa-T: Random.
MHJ: So, you're back in Kyoto?
Aa-T: For now. Until I get bored.
MHJ: Things better over there?
Aa-T: Do you care?
MHJ: Not especially.
Aa-T: So.
MHJ: So. You messaged me.
Aa-T: Yeah, about that. Saw your exchange with Stank.
MHJ: OOWF-TV airs live over there?
Aa-T: If you subscribe.
MHJ: We have a Pay-Per-View Channel?
Aa-T: Yeah. OOWF-TV Asia.
MHJ: Hmm. I'll have to ask Stank is we get bonuses for that.
Aa-T: I liked the dollar more than Davin request. Use your friendship with Stank to get what you want. Oh, and that more money than him thing worked so well for WCW.
MHJ: I don't care if this company goes down in flames. I just want what's mine.
Aa-T: Like your new group?
MHJ: We're not a group per say.
A'isha cocks her head.
MHJ: Once you're...
Aa-T: You say "Five" I'm gonna fly to whatever god-forsaken country you're in this week and bitchslap you.
MHJ: This group has potential.
Aa-T: Good. Draw your line. Make The Boy whine about it.
MHJ: I do enjoy that. Except for the him speaking and being alive thing.
Aa-T: Can't always get what you want.
MHJ: But I plan to.
A'isha grins.
Aa-T: That's more like it. Time for this bird to fly. Saki's here. We need a little girl time.
MHJ: Girl time?
Aa-T: Konichiwa.
A'isha ends the signal.
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:53:17 GMT -5
It is the main event of the Tiera del Fuego Wrestling Alliance pre-show. The two combatants, one masked and one not, are about to lock up when the crowd erupts.
The Flyin' Hawai'ians charge the ring. Noelani walks down the ramp slowly in their wake. Kai and Aina slide into the ring as the two wrestlers attack them. Kai grabs the masked man and tosses him over the top rope. Aina grabs the other and irish whips him into the corner. Aina begins to charge towards him when Kai steps in front of him and assists Aina in a leapfrog splash into the corner.
Aina then shoves the wrestler down and he lands on his back. Aina hops up to the top rope. He looks out to Noelani who's rolling her arms. Aina then hits a Shooting Star Press.
The masked man has slid back into the ring. Kai grabs him. Aina heads back to the top rope. Kai lifts the masked man into the air and flings him up...
MOLOKA'I COCKTAIL.
The masked man falls to the mat twitching a bit. Kai and Aina both look out to Noelani who holds out her thumb and then turns it down. The tw9in brothers quickly climb to the top of opposite corners.
MOONS OVER MAU'I.
Both Kai and Aina kneel over their prone victim. The fans are not sure whether or not to cheer. Noelani climbs the ring steps and walks the apron. Aina holds the ropes for her to enter. Noelani saunters to the corner and takes a mic from a ringhand.
N: Aloha! Do we have your attention?
The crowd is a mix of cheers and boos.
N: Sorry to interrupt, but we have a message for The Brass Knuckle Kings and Regicide.
Noelani looks at the two prone wrestlers in the ring. Kai and Aina strike tribal Polynesian war poses beside her.
N: Message delivered. Brass Knuckle Kings, be clowns. Regicide, peacock up on your past. It doesn't make you a good tag team. WE are the best team in the world! It's time for the industry, this company, it's wrestlers, and you fans to recognize this. This was just the beginning. If our matches don't earn us the respect we deserve, we're just gonna start TAKING it. One chump at a time. You can't stop the breaks on the pipeline. So don't try.
Noelani makes a shocked face.
N: Ao no ho'i.
Noelani smiles.
N: There's no disgrace in wiping out. Mahalo.
Noelani tosses the mic and she escorts Kai and Aina out of the ring and to the back.
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:54:23 GMT -5
*Moosehead Jack makes it past Justin Sane without incident and walks into Stank's office.*
MHJ - You summoned me?
Stank - Cute. Have a seat.
*Moose walks over to the chair across the desk from Stank and sits.*
MHJ - I would have thought you'd get a new secretary by now.
Stank - I could use a good secretary, but everytime I interview one, Justin finds out about it and scares them off. I don't know how he does it. I'm very careful there are no ninjacams around, but that hasn't stopped him.
*The intercom on Stank's phone chimes.*
JS - I've been stalking you, sir.
Stank - GOTDAMMIT JUSTIN! Stop watching OOWFtv and go get me a cup of coffee!
JS - Can I-
Stank - USE THE FIVE BUCKS EL LOBO GAVE YOU!
JS - Lobo is...?
Stank - THE MASKED CANADIAN!
JS - Bulldog?
Stank - NO!
JS - Dragon?
*Stank taps the off button on the intercom, rises angrily from his seat, and walks over to the door of his office. He steps out and closes the door behind him. Moose hears the brief, muffled, angry conversation Stank has with Justin before the OOWF Champion walks back in his office and returns to his seat.*
Stank - Now... the reason I called you is I've been looking over your contract and as it turns out.... as much as I might enjoy sticking it to Davin... I can't pay you a dollar more than him, because unfortunately I already put into his contract that he get paid a dollar more than the highest paid wrestler in the company. It was a condition for his riding the plane with the rest of the roster.
MHJ - Who is the highest paid wrestler?
Stank - I can't divulge that information.
MHJ - Okay fine... then I want two dollars more than the highest paid wrestler.
Stank - ... ... what?
MHJ - I want two dollars more.
Stank - I can't do-
MHJ - Why not?
Stank - Because...
MHJ - Diva gets paid a dollar more than the highest paid wrestler, right? My getting two dollars more doesn't breach his contract.
Stank - But that... would make you the highest paid for which he would have to get a dollar more.
MHJ - Doesn't him getting a dollar more than the highest paid wrestler make him the highest paid wrestler? So... what? He get's paid a dollar more than himself?
Stank - Uh no... he get's paid a dollar more than L.. I mean than the highest paid wrestler.
MHJ - So...? Give me two dollars more. It's just the language of the contract.
Stank - ...
MHJ - ...
Stank - You're nuts.
MHJ - Do we have a deal?
Stank - Why is this so important to you?
MHJ - You know why.
Stank - Okay I'll... look it over with Eco's legal team... the other thing I wanted to discuss with you is this plan of yours you have with us... Regicide and Crusher.
MHJ - What about it?
Stank - I still don't know what it is you're proposing?
MHJ - Weren't you listening?
Stank - I don't remember much from last night after Davin left.
MHJ - Wait... Diva was there?
Stank - We had a brief conversation while you were in the bathroom... you were in there an awfully long time come to think of it?
MHJ - What did you two talk about?
Stank - He heard our conversation about your contract on his IPhone and came in to protest.
MHJ - Of course he did. I'll be back.
Stank - What? Where are you-
*Moose jumps up out of his seat and stomps off out of Stank's office, a few seconds later Justin Sane walks in with Stank's coffee.*
JS - Mocha Hazelnut Latte, just as you like it.
Stank - I don't like any of that.
JS - You don't?
Stank - No.
JS - ...
Stank -
JS - Can I have it?
Stank - Yes. Go get me a regular coffee.
JS - Can I borrow five dollars?
Stank - Did you intentionally fuck up my order just so you could... nevermind... here. Take the money and go.
JS - Yeaaah!
Fade
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:56:04 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack starts to leave Stank's office when a hand grabs his arm from behind and yanks him into the office next door. He spins around ready to fight, but it's Firewoman. Commissioner Firewoman, to be specific. And she's smiling.
FW: Hiya.
MHJ: What do you want?
FW: Been watching your little contract negotiation, and I think I can help.
MHJ: I thought Stank was in charge of --
FW: Stank is, but everything has to be ratified by the general manager and me. And I'm privvie to a few details that Stank may have left out.
MHJ: Like?
Firewoman moves over to her desk, which is surprisingly neat, and pulls out a file from the drawer.
FW: Like the exact wording of Douchebag's contract. It says *she flips through some papers until she finds it.* "The party of the first part, to wit: Thomas Davin Moreland, shall receive a salary that is two (2) US Dollars above the highest paid member of the party of the second part, to wit: Online Onslaught Wrestling Federation, Inc."
MHJ: I know all this. I know it makes no logical sense either because...
FW: Well, it turns out, Moose, that Stank is correct that he can't give a dollar more in salary than Douchebag.
MHJ: So, thanks for wasting my time, then sis.
FW: However.....
Firewoman smiles.
FW: What I can do, though, is institute a program to reward years of service.
MHJ: Huh?
FW: It's called longevity pay. It's separate from salary and PPV appearance bonuses, champion bonuses, and the like. Basically the longer you're with OOWF, the higher it is.
MHJ: And....
FW: So in talking with the board, who is concerned about losing talent to those other wrestling companies, we are thinking of instituting this, at least on a pilot basis, to see how it affects the bottom line, in ring performance, and retention and recruitment of talent. You've noticed some talent gets signed and then just never makes it to the OOWF ring, correct?
MHJ: Yeah--
FW: Well, this may be one more carrot to get them to stick around instead of bailing when things get tough.
MHJ: Okay, so what does that have to do with--
FW: So, we're going to start implementing it with the upper tier of talent. People who've been around a few years.
MHJ: So what? We each get a check? If we each get $50 that doesn't make--
FW: You're not listening, Jackie. It's based on years. The person who's been here more years will get more added to the their check every two weeks than the person who--
MHJ: Oooooooooh.....
FW: Got it now?
MHJ: Is this automatic?
FW: No, no, I have to get Lucky to type it up and get all the language right, but there will be a rider attached to the contracts in order of length of service.
MHJ: ..... So I would also start getting it before Davin.
FW: Potentially. Since we're not going to be in the States for a while everything needs to be done by fax and....what?
MHJ: That's brilliant....And very conveniently timed.....
FW: *shrug* I have no idea what you're talking about Moose.
MHJ: Uh huh.......when did you get so good at this business stuff?
Firewoman merely smiles and takes a drag from her cigarette before she continues.
FW: Really, I don't see what the big deal Rick was always complaining about. This job's a piece of cake. So, do we have a deal?
MHJ: I'll think about it, Sis....
They share a similar smile, and Moose leaves.
FW: JUSTIN!!! WHERE IS MY MOCHA HAZELNUT LATTE?
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:57:13 GMT -5
**Regicide are in their locker room. Tytan’s head is hanging, obviously regretting the night before. L.D. seems mostly unaffected.**
T: “Ow.”
LDW: “I told you not to match Stank shot-for-shot.”
S: “YOU- ow. You did.”
LDW: “I’m Canadian. Alcohol tolerance is in-bred”
T: “Something about you is.”
**L.D. “accidentally” knocks a ring bell off the table so that it hits the floor with a clang.**
T: “YARGH!!”
LDW: “Oops, how clumsy of me…say, did you get the Hawai’ians message?”
T: “They can beat jobbers if they attack them two-on-one?”
LDW: “That about sums it up, yeah.”
T: “They do realize they’re wrestling singles matches this week?”
LDW: “I should think so - it’s on the schedule.”
T: “And they’re aware that we’re both former World Champions?”
LDW: “One would assume.”
T: “And they think they stand a chance…huh…who’d have thought?”
LDW: “I think their point is that they’re a better tag team.
T: “Even though we’ve both held the tag belts with three different partners.”
LDW: “I didn’t say it was a good point…”
**Tytan shakes his head and then winces.**
T: “I’m going back to bed.”
LDW: “Nope. We’re meeting Stan for breakfast, and then we’ve got a workout booked.”
T: “I hate you.”
<fade>
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:58:20 GMT -5
E: You know, all week, I’ve bee hearing all of these comments. Why did I work so stiff on Lobo? Was I trying to send a message to Alexander Darling. What I did had nothing to do with sending am message. I did that to teach the rookie a lesson. I know what its like to break into this business, and I figured it was up to me to give the new guy a fitting welcome. He surprised me last week though. The guy can go in the ring. If he ever wants to make the jump to the winning side, I’m sure that we could make some arrangements for him to join SUPREME.
And while we’re on the subject of Darling. I was watchig your latest promo. Lets go to the tape, shall we?
Wow, I gotta stop it right here before I get physically ill. Protecting against the dark forc...stop, stop, just stop Alex, you’re embarrassing yourself. God, you’re starting to sound like Crete used to. Hell, you probably still got that Darlingman costume still around. Why do you go play superhero, and leave the wrestling to those who still seem to take it seriously?
Alright, lets continue.
E: Now you’re accusing me of raising myself on this pedestal, that I’m arrogant. Big words coming from the likes of you. Am I arrogant? You damn right I’m arrogant! I worked my ass off to get where I’m at, and I did it by any means necessary. I have no intention of becoming another Icarus, who got so arrogant that he believed that he could reach the sun and not get burned. I know full-well my limitations and my weaknesses.
And speaking of weaknesses, I may not give a crap about the fans, but at least I don’t hide who I am. You act like you’re this changed man, that you’ve seen the light, the error of your ways.
What happened to the guy who carved his initials into the flesh of Moosehead Jack? You went after the most sick and twisted individual that has ever walked into this business, and you did it without fear, without any problem at all. And what has happened to that Alexander Darling?
The only error that you ever made, was to change who you are. Look around you Alex, look at the fans that you have gained. They...them....all of them...they have made you WEAK, Alex! You may be a total asshole, but at least you embraced that, you used that to your advantage. You didn’t care what anyone thought of you, and you didn’t let them cloud your vision of what truly matters in this business: WINNING!
Cameraman: Ah man, Charlie Sheen is so gonna sue our asses for that.
E: Hey, did I give you permission to talk? Do your job and keep your mouth shut while I’m promoing.
So where was I...oh yeah. So yeah, you are Alexander Darling, and I’m not, and I thank the Gods every day that I’m not you. I thank the Gods that I didn’t buy my way into this business instead of actually trying to pay my dues. I thank the Gods that I don’t try to hide my true nature for the benefit of these fickle people. And I sure as hell thank the Gods for the knowledge that at the end of the day, this king *holds up Onslaught title*...will reign SUPREME.
*fade to black*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 18:59:26 GMT -5
<Moose, Stan and Fulton catch up with LD and Tytan before they hit the gym. Handshakes all around>
Stank: Look, can we make this quick, I have to get some paperwork done so Stan and I can train for our match
LD: Yeah and Tytan and I have to hit the gym
MHJ: Ok, I'll make this quick. A lot has been made, already, about all of us teaming up. Now, think about that, we have people talking and making plans just at the THOUGHT of us teaming up. We can use that to our advantage. Stank, you are the champ, Eco has also decided to put you in a position of considerable power. Stan, you are second in line behind Stank......
SF: Are you suggesting I run protection for Stank, cause.....
MHJ: No. Nothing like that. I know you want to be the world champion one day. Stank knows it too. But at the moment, you are the IC champ, anyone who wants Stank has to go through you first. That gives you a unique position, and also solidifies our spot at the top. LD and Tytan? You said it yourself, two of the most accomplished tag team wrestlers in the history of the OOWF. Those titles are yours for the taking
<there is general agreement among all of them>
MHJ: What I am saying is that IF we decide to work together, there is no one that can stop us
Tyt: You know, since there are five of us, the comparisons will be inevitable
LD: Let them compare us, that is an honor. There was one Five, and ONLY one Five
SF: <looking at Moose> And what about Fire?
MHJ: What about Fire? She is my sister. <getting a sly look on his face> who also just happens to be the commissioner. When we want it, it is there. But right now........just lay low. I am going to send Davin packing from the OOWF. Stank, you leave Sparxx a greasy spot on the mat. Fulton, take out Folz, it weakens Supreme. LD and Tytan? Take what is yours, that weakens Supreme more.
When you expect nothing, and get everything, that is Destiny. It will come to us because that is how it should be. Others won't like it, but others don't matter.
Trust me
<everyone shakes hands and go their separate ways>
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:02:45 GMT -5
*Right as the five (you see what I did there?) start to go their separate ways, Eric O'Mac, Bryce Larson, Chris Evans, and Matt Folz walks into the picture. Eric starts clapping sarcastically.*
Eric: Really...REALLY, don't allow us to break up this collective meeting of what is sure to be the most overrated quintuplet of wrestlers I've ever seen!
*That piques the interest of Moose, Tytan, Stan Fulton, LD Williams, and Stank as they get right in Eric's face.*
Tytan: You want to say that again?
Eric: Calm down, gargantuan. I wouldn't DARE insult a former World Champion.
Tytan: I think you would.
Eric:...I was being sarcastic, asshole.
Tytan: Oh. So I was right.
Eric:....
Stank: You have something you want to say, Eric?
Eric: Right. It appears that I'm suppose to meet with you regarding the small issue of my contract. But if your goons want to insist on being dicks about us being around?
*The Posse surrounds all nine wrestlers, each of them brandishing some sort of weapon.*
Eric: Then I'm sure we can postpone our talks until everyone is out of the hospital.
*Eric, Bryce, Chris, and Matt all slip on brass knuckles. Stank looks at his four allies and nods to them.*
Stank: There is a time and a place. There WILL be a time and a place. But for now, we'll back off.
Eric: Good. Because of your intelligence, can we offer you pineapple smoothies?
*Lauren Phoenix walks in with multiple smoothies on a plate. None of the five take her up on her offer.*
Eric: That's a shame. I'll take one. Is there a place we can talk?
Stank: Conference room right down the hall.
Eric: Let's go. Boys? Scatter.
*The Posse leaves as omniously as they appeared. Eric walks with Stank down the hall as Bryce Larson points Matt Folz in the direction of the nearest bathroom. Moose, LD, Tytan, and Fulton go their separate ways. Stank and Eric walk into a conference room. As soon as they get into the conference, Stank grabs Eric by the throat.*
Stank: DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN ME AGAIN!
Eric: Uck!
*Stank releases Eric from his grip. Eric grabs his throat and gasps for air.*
Stank: I think we have an understanding.
Eric: *still gasping* I won't forget that.
Stank: I don't expect you to.
Eric: Do you even realize what I'm capable of?
Stank: Of course. We've been through this before. The war.
Eric: Yes. The war.
Stank: You realize you didn't actually START the war, right? Technically, Chris Cole started it.
Eric: Chris Cole couldn't start shit if he had a laxative. That was all me. And while it didn't end up the way I wanted it to, it certainly got everyone's attention, and it put me on the map in a big way.
Stank: I'll concede those points, but don't get any crazy ideas about starting another war.
Eric: It would almost be impossible now, with all the authority figures in the OOWF.
Stank: Not my idea.
Eric: No, but you certainly took advantage. It brings me to my first point of my contract: I will NOT work for Firewoman. I will NOT refer to her as an authority figure. The only way I will be under her is if we are fucking, and I'll need a lot of alcohol in me for that.
Stank: I'll see what I can do on that, but you assume that the OOWF would even WANT your contract, after the history of bad mouthing the company.
Eric: You mean, I need to actually make a case for me to stick around?
Stank: Absolutely.
Eric: OK...first of all, I'm half of the tag team champions.
Stank: We could easily vacate the titles.
Eric: I'm one of the best wrestlers in the company.
Stank: You rarely show it. You are lazy, unenthusiastic, and a pain to work with backstage.
Eric: I have important connections to the wrestling world?
Stank: If we wanted to be the WWE, then we would have hired our version of Randy Orton.
Eric: That would be awesome.
Stank:....
Eric: What do I have to do to convince you?
Stank: You could beg.
Eric: I'm not begging for my job.
Stank: In that case, I could wish you well in your future endeavors?
Eric: Seriously?
Stank: Seriously.
Eric: But you have a contract right there in front of you.
Stank: Yes, I do.
Eric: It has my name on it.
Stank; That is correct.
Eric: How much do I make on this contract?
Stank: Well, the one I have drawn up has you making comfortable six-figures, plus merchandise and licensing deals. Plus all the fruit you could ever want. But it doesn't matter now. You're fired.
Eric: That's my Dad's catchphrase.
Stank: It's mine now. You have a problem with it? Go Tweet about it.
Eric: You'll regret this.
Stank: Leave your tag team championship on the table and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
*Eric unhooks his OOWF Tag Team Championship and lays is down on the table. He starts to walk out the room...and he turns around and BLASTS Stank with his brass knuckles! Stank grabs his head and Eric throws another punch that takes the big man down! Eric then grabs the contract on the table and signs it!*
Eric: Can't fire me now, asshole. And tell Tytan and LD Williams that I'm FAR from ignoring them - when the time comes, they will realize that this is one King they cannot kill.
*Eric grabs his championship belt off the table while Stank struggles to get to his feet. Eric takes the chance to LEVEL Stank with his Tag Team Championship!*
Eric: I want my endless supply of fruit ASAP! And don't get comfortable with that World Championship - when I want that, I'll take it too.
*Eric walks out the door, takes a photo of Stank with his iPhone, and heads out the door. Bryce Larson and Lauren Phoenix meet up with him and they head out.*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:03:57 GMT -5
*Right into a STEEL CHAIR SHOT from JUSTIN SANE! Eric falls hard to the floor! Bryce Larson pulls at the chair, trying to wrest it from Justin's hands. The two struggle as Lauren Phoenix kneels down by Eric O'Mac writhing in pain. Larson is finally able to pull the chair out of Justin Sane's hands.
Bryce lifts the chair up, and behind his head hoping to swing it down brutally on top of Sane's dome, but the chair is YANKED out of his hands from behind by COMMISSIONER FIREWOMAN!
Bryce WHIRLS around only to recieve the steel chair shoved into his gut, and as he involuntarily bends over, a CHAIR SHOT to his back! Bryce Larson falls to his knees. Firewoman throws the chair down in front of him. Fire goes behind Bryce and kicks him down fully to the floor. Bryce's head lands on the chair placing him in perfect position for a MUTHAFUCKIN CURBSTOMP~!, BUT before Firewoman can deliver it Lauren Phoenix jumps on Firewoman's back!
Firewoman reaches behind and flips Lauren Phoenix over her shoulder onto the floor next to Bryce. By this time, Eric O'Mac has groggily risen to his feet. Both Firewoman and Justin Sane's backs are turned to him. Eric picks up his half of the World Tag Team Championship Belts. He takes a step to smack Justin upside the back of his head. It's the only step he gets because from out of his office, with blood running down his forehead, Stank grabs Eric O'Mac, spins him around, kicks him in the gut! Stank then lifts Eric O'Mac off his feet for the One, Two, STANKBOMB! Eric O'Mac has become one with the office suite's concrete floor!
Justin Sane hops out the way as Stank steps over Eric's body and walks toward the commissioner. Firewoman lifts Lauren Phoenix to her feet and is about to do serious damage as Stank joins her side.*
Eco - ENOUGH!
*Ecosystem has made his way out of his office and onto the scene. Firewoman drops Lauren. Stank turns and faces Ecosystem.*
Eco - What the HELL is going ON?
*Blood runs down Stank's head and into his mouth. Stank wipes at the blood and spits some on the floor.*
Stank - Contract negotiations.
Eco - Excuse me?
Stank - It's business. No need for concern.
Eco - I will NOT tolerate unfettered violence in these office suites, Mr. Mann.
Stank - We're just about done here.
Eco - I've called security. Clean up this mess.
*Ecosystem turns and walks back into his office. Stank and Firewoman glance at each other as the camera fades.*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:04:56 GMT -5
Firewoman follows Stank back to his office.
S: What.
FW: Well...we do have an appointment to talk about my--
S: Can I catch my breath first?
FW: Sure.
S: I don't even know why we need to talk about it. You'll just overrule me.
FW: Not if you agree to everything I say.
S: And if I don't?
FW: *ignoring him* Point one. My liability clause gets removed.
S: No.
FW: Seriously? I can't afford to carry that much insurance, and I've changed and--
S: Really. What JUST happened out there?
FW: I was breaking up a fight, not starting one. And no one got set on fire.
S: Only because Muyo intervened.
FW: Seriously....I think my recent behavior proves that--
S: It's not recent enough, Fire. The liability clause stands.
FW: *angry, but looking down at her list* Okay, fine...oh yeah, speaking of fines, the garnishment of 10 percent out for past fines...I have to have those paid by now.
S: Did you make that list? Or did Lucky?
FW: .........okay, Lucky. But he's right.
S: *looking over the papers...* Oh yes...it appears that one of the few things Eric DID do before you deposed him as GM was charge you interest. We can get rid of that.
FW: Seriously? Fuck him.
S: I believe he said that wasn't going to happen.
FW: Yeah, but not because he says it's not. I realize I used to be pretty nondiscriminatory--
S: The word you once used was "omnisexual." And "used to be?"
FW: --but even then, I had standards. And Eric fell below them. Far, far below.
S: Right, so strike that....damn, woman, as far as take home goes that still doesn't leave much. What about this automatic debit for--
FW: That's enough.
S: But, Fire, that's not--
FW: Look, I don't want to talk about this in front of the ninja cams. Just imagine if there had been a Covenant House around when I was growing up...what might have been different.
S: ...
FW: ...
S: ...Okay...it's your money.
FW: That it is....we done?
S: Yeah, I'll have the changes made, and given to Lucky by the end of the day.
FW: Good, we done?
S: Not quite. This 'longevity pay' idea....
FW: You're welcome!
S: Yes, right...Eco has to ratify it too, right?
FW: Yeah, so?
S: So....what's the real point behind it?
FW: Just like I said. To keep good talent here. Crete left twice for greener pastures and even though in his second run he wasn't what he was, imagine if he had just stayed. And Ravenna was a diamond in the rough that we should have done everything to keep here.
S: So, it's not just a way to screw with Davin?
FW: What? No. Fuck that guy.
S: Uh huh. And it's not about staying on Moose's good side.
FW: Well......Hey, if it benefits my brother--
S: The one who swears he's forgiven you.
FW: ...he actually hasn't said that.
S: Fire...
FW: Leave it alone, Lucas. It's to reward OBJ, and Moose, and YOU, and yes, actually Davin, for all being here and consistently loyal. Everyone gets some, and the longer you're here, the more you get. That's all. It's good business.
S: Well, we'll see.
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:06:09 GMT -5
*We open up to a well-lit, non threatening set with 5 chairs sitting around a rounded table/desk thing. It's a vaguely familiar looking set-up, and the familiarity is confirmed as cheesy, upbeat easy listening music is played under graphics which say "The Crew". The camera pulls back and we see Samantha Darling-Moreland, Shawn Johnson, Moonbeam and Elizabeth Hasslebeck all seated with one empty chair in the middle.*
SDM: Good afternoon everyone, I'm Samantha Darling-Moreland and this is "The Crew" starring Shawn Johnson, Moonbeam O'Callahan and...(has to spit the words out) Elizabeth Hasslebeck.
EH: EVOLUTION IS JUST A THEORY!
SDM: Awesome. Anyway, our guest today has been in the news a lot lately, especially in OOWF circles. Everyone's been talking about HIM, while he's remained relatively quiet. That is, until he agreed to sit down with us today. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the 11-Time Iron Person Heavy Metal DDT, 5-Time Campeonas de Trios, Tag Team, 2-Time Onslaught, Intercontinental and 4-Time World Champion - The Fastest to become Grand Slam Champion ever, and the ONLY 6-Pack Champion in the history of OOWF. He's the Greatest of All-Time...and let me tell ya, THAT'S no lie...Davin Moreland!
*Canned applause and the shitty theme music fires up again, as Davin, wearing a Crete & Moosey T-shirt, shakes hands with everyone on the stage, before sitting down*
SDM: Davin, thank you so much for agreeing to sit down with us today, I know you're very busy these days.
DM: My pleasure, Sammy.
EH: JESUS WALKED WITH THE DINOSAURS!
DM: Jesus Christ...
EH: HIM! LOVE HIM! AND DINOSAURS!
SFJ420: What the fuck is wrong with-
SDM: *holds up her hand* It's ok Moony, let's get to the interview. Shawn? I understand you wanted to go first.
OGMSJ: Thanks Samantha. Davin, there has been an awful lot of talk ABOUT you this week, particularly from former members of that overrated Run DEA wannabe faction The Five. However, I would like to ask you about a conversation you had with your former protege J-P Sparxx. It seemed like there was some tension there. Would you like to confirm or deny that?
DM: Good question, Shawn. J-P is my friend. I saw him when he broke into OOWF and I just knew he was going to be the next big thing. And if I had any hand in his success at all, I'm humbled by that. But I think J-P missed some steps leading up to Moosey eating Happy Dethbat for lunch. First of all, I was attacked twice by him. If you're remember way back when GFY was founded, I had instituted a-
OGMSJ: The "No Backstage Attacks" guideline?
DM: Right Shawn. Exactly. However, if you'll look back, at the TIME, the goal was not to elevate people who don't deserve to be elevated.
SFJ420: Like FuckThatGuy.
DM: That's right, Moony. And it was also to demonstrate that justified beatings should take place in the ring, so everyone can see how much better you are than the other guy. However, even THEN, I said that "retaliation for a backstage attack on YOU is ok". In other words, don't start it, but feel free to sure as fuck finish it. I did that when Moosey was forced to pick nails out of his face for the last few days - no matter how much he decides to no-sell that shit. I know it hurt.
EH: GLOBAL WARMING IS A LIE!
DM: The only reason I don't choke the life out of you is because your husband and brother-in-law are local legends in Massachusetts. However, I may waive that before this interview is over.
EH: ISLAMIC CALIPHATE!
SDM: Moony?
SFJ420: Davin, where does that leave you with J-P Sparxx?
DM: As far as I know, we're still boys. If he needs me, he knows where I am. I've got no problem with him.
SFJ420: And what about Texpress?
DM: *sighs* Words can't express to you just how sorry I am for Chad and Zane. I STILL should have fucking known better. That was a rookie mistake, and it cost us our championships. We've had some weird ups and downs lately, and if they're pissed at me, I'd understand. Hell-
EH: YOU SHALL ALL BURN IN THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL!
DM: -I'm pissed at me. Chad, Zane and I have been through a lot. Our career upswings all started at the same time, and all because of each other. Without each other, it wouldn't have been the same. If there are 2 people I can count on in this company that aren't sitting at this table, it's Chad Madison and Zane Myers. If they don't feel the same about me right now, I'd understand, but ever since Run DLP formed, I thought of them as my brothers. And I think they thought the same thing. So we'll see. Again, I've always got their back, and they know where I am if they need me. We've been through so much together, it would be criminal if we allowed Moosey to get in the middle of that.
EH: OBAMA IS A CRIMINAL! HE WAS BORN IN KEN-
*Before she can finish, Davin GOOZLES Elizabeth Hasslebeck and stands up*
DM: Sorry, Tim.
*Davin DESTROYS her with a chokeslam right on top of her chair, which splinters into a million pieces. She's probably in a coma, but who cares?*
DM: Sorry everyone.
SDM: Don't be sorry. I'm amazed she lasted this long. Anyway, my question to you, sweetie. Members of the group...umm...we'll call them Run The Five...have had a lot to say regarding your contract and Moosehead Jack's Contract. Do you have any comments on that?
DM: Well, again, the people from...uh...Run The Five...hey, I kinda like that...The people from Run The Five apparently believe that OOWF history started 3 weeks ago. As you know, and I know, and EVERYONE but Run The Five knows; Davin Moreland's salary is a small fraction of his actual income. Let's be honest, it was just a status, vanity thing that no one EVER talked about until a couple of weeks ago. Apparently it's supposed to hurt me or bother me or whatever. Christ, Moosey sat on my porch with me AT MY HOUSE and we had this conversation. I don't NEED to work here anymore. I do it because without me, your OOWF Experience would suffer. You know it. I know it. I do this so that fans all over the world, who HAVE paid my salary back when I really needed it, can see their hero/anti-hero/villain Davin Moreland live and in person - and on OOWF-TV. So in other words...
SFJ420: Pay Moosey what is Moosey's.
DM: Lots of Jesus talk today. Must be Easter.
SDM: Is she right?
DM: Yeah, pay that sociopath whatever he wants. Who gives a fuck? It's not like I'm starving. Considering he spends all his money on barbed wire, Old Granddad and scratch tickets, he really needs the money a lot more than I do. Maybe with this extra 2 dollars he can head to the Wal-Mart and get himself some new clothes. Because like everything else about Moosey - they started wearing out in 2006, and it's long since time to replace them.
OGMSJ: I wanted to ask you about another member of your family-
DM: My family either travels with me or lives in Massachusetts.
OGMSJ: Ok, but what about Commissioner-
DM: It's only a matter of time before she fucks up and loses that job too. She's a psychological mess. She's never at fault for anything she's ever done, it's always something or someone else to blame. Which would be ok if she were 5. She's not 5. If she were 5, we might have some empathy or teach her to accept responsibility for her actions. At this point? Blaming others is a pathology. So is expecting people to feel bad for her. There will come a time when someone becomes wise to your game, Lisa
SFJ420: Lisa
OGMSJ: Lisa
SDM: Lisa
DM: Lisa, someone with the ability to stop it. And you won't be able to get out of it, and not Lucky, and not Alexander and not Moosey and not ANYONE can help you out of it. Your blaming of others will go unheard and no one will feel sorry for you. Then, and only then, I fear, will you be able to grow up and be an adult for the first time, ever.
SDM: But can't she screw with you in terms of matches and stuff?
DM: What's she going to do? Put me in an 8-on-1 handicap match? Do I LOOK stupid? You don't think I know how to get out of that? See, Lisa and Moosey think they can fool Davin. Trick him. Confuse him. Outthink him. And together? They think they can double their brainpower and accomplish that faster. Unfortunately, it's not even close. You're already off to a pathetic start. The things you think will bother me? They don't bother me. And while you two are trying to launch Run The Five, ol' Davin here realizes he's got a match on Wednesday. And all the *air quotes* "cunning tricks and swerves" leading up to it will be all for naught once my buddy Trusty Rebar crashes across Moosey's nose at the bell. Oh a DQ? I LOST? Aww MAN! What EVER will I do?!?!?
SFJ420: Would you like to address Stank's actions in the last week?
DM: Not really. Stank is Stank. I'm me. We've never gotten along great, and we went years with legitimate hatred toward each other. I guess when you get older you mellow out a bit. We're just 2 old warhorses working in this crazy business. Stank knows where I stand. I'm signed and good-to-go. If he wants to help Run The Five, that's his business, but perhaps he and THAT FUCKING FRAUD (tm) LD Williams will take a moment, step back and see that their old buddy Moosey isn't physically or mentally capable of leading them to glory anymore, and they're MUCH better off on their own. Because this time, Moosey doesn't win. Lisa doesn't win. THIS time, there will be backlash. There will be consequences. And my friends, or in LD's case my FUCKING FRAUDULENT friends, you want to be on the right side of history for this one. Ask LD the FRAUDY FRAUDY FRAUD FRAUD what it's like to be on the wrong side. To side with Moose and lose. LD the Fraud must be an amazing friend, to allow THAT shit to slide. LD should be Ric Flair, or Kurt Angle, or Jericho, or SOMETHING. Instead, thanks to Moosey, he's the bastard child of Dean Malenko and Lance Storm. No one cares that he's held titles longer than anyone else in the history of the company, because he's too busy trying to keep Moosey out of jail. It's a waste, and it's tremendously sad. Fraudulently sad. Was that enough?
SDM: Yeah, that was 8. It's working though, those t-shirts are finally moving.
DM: So for everyone watching who sees yet another Moosey feud, and are depressed that this time it's Davin, and Moosey will make him boring and unwatchable too as the inevitable burial begins as Moosey Levesques his way through another feud; just know - he's never, EVER feuded with me, or anyone like me. And as he lazes his way through this one like he has through every feud he's ever had for the last 5 years; he will be in for a very rude awakening when one night he's staring up at the lights, and Davin Moreland stands over him. Decisively Victorious. And laughing in his face at the poor, pathetic caricature that the once-feared Moosey has become.
*fade*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:07:30 GMT -5
*Scheme Gene is interviewing Outback Jack*
SG: You've been quiet lately.
OBJ: I've been busy shooting commercials for Fosters, Subaru, Outback Steakhouse, and Vegemite.
SG: Really? You haven't just been too lazy to post in the OOWF thread of the OO forums?
*Kayfabe lays out Scheme Gene with a steel chair*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:08:56 GMT -5
Stank - Justin get me Noelani on the phone... ... Justin?... .... JUSTIN!
*Stank rises from his seat, walks around his desk, and exits his office not finding Justin Sane where he normally sits. A note is left on Justin's desk. Stank picks it up and reads it silently. The camera pans around over the champ's shoulder so we can see.*
Dearest Corporate Champion. We have kidnapped your secretary. Here is our list of demands.
The OOWF MUST broadcast to the world their commitment to proclaim us Kings of the World and to do the following IMMEDIATELY:
1. The OOWF and it’s affiliate fed the PHWF MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on WWE programming and other programming from the USA Network, particular the show called "Psyche". A game show format contest would be nice too... and the OOWF message board NEEDS WORK! Fancy it up!Change the format. Make it ENTERTAINING! Ever heard of CityMax? Use that to rebuild the site. Make it flashy like the WWE's. Did We mention ENTERTAINING? Build it around the BKK Logo. Do all that until something WORKS and the OOWF starts improving! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!! By the way, here's a solution. Everyone in Ecosystem's administration should RESIGN immediately. You don't want to...? Ask me if I give a fuck.
2. Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy. Find ways so that people don’t build more housing pollution which destroys the environment to make way for more human filth! Find solutions so that people stop breeding especially with Madam Commissioner Firebitch, as well as stopping using Oil in order to REVERSE Global warming and the destruction of the planet!
3. Ignore number 2. That suggestion was submitted by Bryce Larson. His concern for our planet is frightning. I would not accept any packages from him if I were you.
These are our demands. You must comply. Long live the KINGS!
Sincerely
The BKK Supreme.
*Stank balls up the note and tosses it in a nearby trashcan. He then mumbles to himself.*
Stank - Finally. Now I can get a new secretary.
*Stank goes back into his office.*
Fade
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:10:36 GMT -5
<Moose is in the back with SFJ13, he appears to be going over a checklist with her>
MHJ: Ok, did he cover all the bases?
SFJ13: I think so
MHJ: Mock the Five and put over Run DEA……AGAIN?
SFJ13: Check
MHJ: Claim I wore out, and/or broke down in 2006?
SFJ13: Check
MHJ: Davin thinks he is smarter than everyone else?
SFJ13: Check
MHJ: Built in excuse for losing the match?
SFJ13: Check. Actually, he covered that twice.
MHJ: Excellent. LD is somehow my lackey?
SFJ13: Check
MHJ: A feud with me will be boring, I am a caricature of my former self, more completely dismissing his opponent?
SFJ13: Check, check and……check.
MHJ: Jesus Christ what a fucking fraud. Ok, I guess we should do this.
SFJ13: I am here with Moosehead Jack. Moose, Davin had some harsh comments for you today what are your comments on that?
MHJ: <mocking tears> Davin……sniff…….Davin doesn’t think I am a worthy opponent. Davin put himself over his opponent ……..again……..I ………you know, maybe I really just shouldn’t show up. I mean……..Davin is SO great because he has done………..well what exactly has he done lately?
SFJ13: Lose?
MHJ: Yes. Lose. Davin……..ok you know what? Let’s go down the checklist, shall we?
SFJ13: Run DEA.
MHJ: I will say this. Run DEA had its moment. They were the first group to hold all the titles at once. For that, they will go down in OOWF history. In reality? They held those titles for five fucking minutes. Check the record book. Good for them. The Five? We held the titles for months. Run DEA collapsed because no one gave a shit about you. The Five walked away on their own terms. Seriously, Fire should be in the OOWF Hall of Fame already. How the fuck she not only survived, but thrived, surrounded by that colossal douchebag Alexander Darling, the deluded Davin Moreland, and those two clowns Chad and Zane……it’s fucking beyond me. No one gives a shit about Run DEA Davin, and whether Stank, LD, Tytan, Stan and I decide to team together or not, I guaranfuckingtee you it has nothing at all to do with that hack organization you took part in.
SFJ13: Ok, next……You started breaking down, wearing out, getting old, wearing out your welcome in 2006.
MHJ: In Davin’s mind, yeah, probably. But we have already seen Davin’s mind functions at about half speed most of the time. Am I what I was in 2006? No. Is anyone what they were five years ago? No. Is Davin? Fuck no he isn’t. Now, I am sure in his mind he thinks he is even better than he was then, and that’s fine. There is no reason to try to force reality on Davin. Let him exist in his own world where somehow he fucking matters.
SFJ13: Davin is smarter than everyone else, especially you and Fire.
MHJ: Yep, regular MIT graduate. Though, I am sure to hear him tell it, he graduated MIT, Yale, Boston U Harvard, Princeton and god knows what else at the same time. No one ever gets anything over on ‘ol Davin, which is funny. Remember when The Five formed Davin? Yeah I think that was you coming to Stank’s rescue and getting your ass handed to you. Not so smart that you saw that coming, right Diva?
SFJ13: Davin claims he is going to hit you with a piece of rebar and draw the intentional DQ in your match this week. A corollary here……he also compared you to Paul Levesque, known to most as HHH, insinuating that you will just hold him down, or not put him over, or……..well something.
MHJ: OH NO! Davin is going to hit me with a piece of rebar? That’ll teach me! Cause I have NEVER been hit in the face with something before! How will I ever react? And Levesquing things? <Moose gives Davin a slow golf clap> Well done Davin, well done! You have now given yourself the out in all of this! When I kick your ass in the ring, it’s not because you are an overrated piece of shit and I simply kicked the shit out of you, no no no! It is because I am holding you down! It’s all politics, right? Too bad you are a fucking idiot. I give you credit, you know how to play those idiot fans, but everyone else sees right through your bullshit.
SFJ13: Once again, Davin insinuated that LD Williams is your lackey.
MHJ: Yeah, that chestnut again. I think I have been hearing that one since, what, 2005? Anyone with half a brain, which obviously excludes Davin, knows that LD is THE man in the OOWF. LD Williams IS Ric Flair here. LD will never admit it, LD will never acknowledge it, but he is the greatest wrestler the OOWF has ever seen. LD, and not Davin, is the Greatest of All Time. You want to stir up shit between LD and I? Good luck with that. You wouldn’t be the first to try, but you would be the latest to fail.
SFJ13: And finally……..Moose is boring, a caricature of himself, living in the past……you know, all that
MHJ: Yeah, all that. Yawn. Same old shit from Davin. If I am so boring Davin, then just walk away. Go play with Sparxx or whatever. If I am so beneath your notice, then walk away. Do I give a shit? No. You are a piece of shit Panderman. I am happy to spill your blood all over the ring, but can I do something else? Of course I can. Essentially……fuck you. Will you beat me? You might get lucky and win a match. Will that stop me? Yeah, a loss would totally make me walk away. You are a deluded fuck.
SFJ13: Anything else?
MHJ: No. I have spent more time talking about Davin than I ever thought possible. You see the stitches in my face? You know what it is like having a constant migrane? You think I will give you the fucking satisfaction of thinking you hurt me? Fuck no. At this point, that worthless sack of crap Alexander Darling put more of a hurt on me. A few stitches and a headache. If that is the best you can do Diva, I am going to enjoy the hell out of kicking your worthless carcass around the ring.
Trust me
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:11:24 GMT -5
~~~ Chad Madison is walking out of Ric's with a couple of Subs to go when he is accosted by a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist ~~~
RNSFJ: Chad Madison, you face Drink & Destroy this week in a tag team match seven days after losing the Trio Titles to them. Are you out to prove anything in that match?
Chad: We've beaten Danny & Jack a couple of times lately. If anyone has something to prove, it isn't The Texpress.
RNSFJ: What about a return match for the Trio Titles? Will Run DLP be united for a rematch?
Chad: Why is that even speculated? Run DLP lost the match. Not Chad Madison. Not Zane Myers. Not Davin Moreland. Now if we team with Alexander or Lisa or anyone else it won't be because Run DEA is having issues. It will be because Davin has things to take care of with John Quinn.
RNSFJ: Run DEA? Who is that? Are you starting a new group?
Chad: You really don't know who Run DEA was?
RNSFJ: Who Was?
Chad: (putting his arm around her) listen, come back to the my dressing room tonight and I'll give you a history lesson about Run DEA.
RNSFJ: Are you asking me for a date? Because if so.. YES!
~~~ Chad and the RNSFJ walk out arm in arm as we fade..... ~~~
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:12:29 GMT -5
Cut to Stank's office as he hears a knock on the door.
S: Come in.
The door opens to reveal the TRUE OOWF Intercontinental champion Matt Folz walking in.
S: Thank you for coming Mr Folz, have a seat. I see you've asked for a 20% pay increase for your new contract?
MF: That's correct.
S: Ok, probably not a chance in hell that's going to happen, but I'll allow you to make your arguement.
MF: First, I'm probably the best technical wrestler on the roster.
S (Smirking, holding up his World Championship): Oh,really?
MF: You'll find that out tomorrow, might end up being very painful to you. Now,can I continue,or are you going to interrupt me again?
S: By all means, continue.
MF: I spent years building up a fan base in Japan and Mexico, when the OOWF goes there, people pay to see ME. I've beat almost every 'big name' here. I'm multiple time Onslaught Champion,Multiple time DDT champion, and I was never defeated for my Intercontinental title.
S: Sorry to interrupt again, but you also forgot your back to back Promo of the Year awards.
MF: Exactly, I was just getting to th..... Wait, what?
S: My point exactly, YOU NEVER PROMO!
MF: I prefer to do my talking in the ring.
S: I can respect that, LD and I are the same way. But you have to promo occasionally to help move stories along and help promote the company. (Kayfabe and oddly, Alexander Darling, are shown nodding) So,no, Eco and myself are not giving 20% MORE money to someone who ignores his responsibilities for weeks at a time. Hell, even your 'special friend' Chris Evans promos more than you, we didn't think we'd ever say that he promos more than anyone.
MF: So what then? Same money, fine.
S: Nope, 25% paycut.
MF: WHAT?? Why?
S: A number of reasons really. Already mentioned the fact that you don't promo. Rick agreed to give you WAY too much in your original contract. But the main reason? No one in power here likes you that much.
MF: Fuck you, I'm not signing that.
S: Certainly your choice, you're welcome to go back to Vince. I know he loves pushing great technical wrestlers with poor mic skills. Or you can go look at TNA, I'm sure you'd get along great with Hogan, Bischoff and Russo.
MF: ......
S: .......
MF (Glaring): Give me the fucking contract.
Stank pushes a contract across the table to Folz, who stares daggers through Stank as he signs it.
MF: This isn't over, I will make you and Eco pay for this disrespect.
S: We'll be waiting, now get the fuck out of my office.
Fade
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:13:22 GMT -5
*OOWF Interview Area*
The OOWF Banner has been once again replaced with the Darling Crest of the wolf, unicorn, and eagle. Spencer Darling, wearing a custom made red & black new Darling t-shirt is standing by with a microphone when BOOM, There can be Only One hits and we hear the introduction to "Princes of the Universe/Headstrong" begin to play. Alexis and Alexander step into the picture and both are wearing their DEA jersey's; #2 and #1 respectively.
Spencer: Before we get to the heart of the matter, can I ask why the old-school look and entrance? Why the jerseys?
Alexis: I'll handle this one brother dear. People around here are seemingly all about the history and reminiscing. So, we thought why let them have all the fun of making other people worry about what's going on backstage. Moose wants to put together another band of merry men that will never compare to the originals. Eric wants to raise court and act the king. Victor wants to reclaim the glory that was once Drink & Destroy. Those are all well and good but, maybe everyone should remember the classic. DEA, Run DEA...whatever you want to call us, whatever we were, whatever we are...the fact is we did something others only dreamed of before us and could only hope to match us after. Mr. Jack...we haven't had our problems in a while and we're willing to let you and Davin kill each other for the most part, especially since you're both my...*cough* brothers-in-law, but don't you ever dare to disrespect the Darling name or anything attached with it again.
Alexander: I'll put it a lot clearer for ya, Moose. Don't mention me again and we won't have any issues other than the fact that our day will come again, and as much as my beautiful wife may not like it...at least one of us will never wrestle again. But for now, have fun with Davin. Kill each other. Just leave me and DEA out of it because if you don't, you may not like the consequences.
Spencer: Moving on then...Training is done. Preparations are complete. Contracts are in the process of being finalized. It seems as if all the extraneous matter is resolved, so that only leaves one more thing Alex...Midweek Mayhem, Chris Evans, and the Onslaught Title.
Alexander: Chris Evans, I know you will never admit it but you're scared. You're worried. You realize that in 24 hours, your reign as Onslaught Champion could very well be over. And when you look back at your reign what will you remember. What will the people remember? They'll remember that you were a cheating champion who only held onto your title by hook and by crook. That when push came to shove, you couldn't measure up to those chasing you so you took shortcuts to make sure people remembered you as a champion, but you didn't care what kind of champion you will be remembered as.
Spencer: It seems as if you don't think much of Chris Evans, in fact, you never have. What's been your issue with him from the start?
Alexander: It's the same issue I have with most of his running buddies with the Kings. They showed up expecting the world to be handed to them. People are going to claim the same about me, but it's revisionist history at it's best. I trained my ass off when I started in this business. I worked my way up from the bottom of the barrel where I went to Japan and did the same. I climbed the ladder without expecting a damn thing from anyone. Then when I reached the top of the ladder, I came here to the OOWF and guess what, I started at the fucking bottom again. I did what was necessary to climb the ladder. I didn't walk into this company and challenge the champions off the bat. I didn't try to make my name off anyone's back. But when opportunities arose, I grabbed them. But Evans, he's never been like that. He showed up here and latched onto Fire like she was going to drag his ass to the main event picture and when he realized he was just being used, he moved on to the next person. And so on and so forth.
Spencer: But the fact remains that he has made his name here and is looked at as one of the best pure wrestlers in the company. Forgetting his personality or attitude, in the ring, he's as good as anyone. So why continue to call him out and go after his title when there might be bigger fish to fry?
Alexander: Because it's time to knock Evans into the world he belongs. He's an opening match, pop-the-crowd, high-flyer. But he thinks himself a future world champion and a main-eventer. Well, now he has his chance. But the fact remains that Evans is all about the sizzle. When push comes to shove, Evans will be happy seeing his name in lights, I want more. I want to be a legend.
Spencer: Lofty goal, isn't it?
Alexander: You could say that, but I know I have the talent and the drive to pull it off. Nothing will stop me from achieving what I want. And I know Chrissy is going to come back and say something else about comparing me to Crete and Ravenna, but I have no interest in being anyone's hero. The fact is heroes get remembered, but legends never die. And Evans and the rest of the Kings, they're the villians in the story, but I'm no hero. I'll leave that role for Drink & Destroy and the Texans and whoever else wants it. I know my role and there's only a few people standing in my way of achieving what I want. I want the legacy. I want the throne. And I will have it because at the end of the day, it's still the same story...I am Alexander Darling, and well, no one else is.
*Fade*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:14:05 GMT -5
~~~ Chad Madison sitting with the RNSFJ from earlier watching OOWF-TV. Alexander Darling's promo is on. ~~~
Chad: Isn't he suppose to cite his sources? Or at least use Italics?
RNSFJ: The whole thing is in Italics
Chad:...... Oh yeah.. Now back to our history lesson....
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:15:04 GMT -5
*Noelani enters Stank's office and sits on the back of the couch by the window.* Stank - Why don't you sit over here in front of me. Noe - Why don't YOU come over here and sit on this comfy couch. I like to be comfortable when conducting business. Stank - ... Noe - ... Stank - Okay. Fine. *Stank rises from his seat and walks over to the couch. He sits on the far end holding The Flying Hawaiian's contract.* Stank - I just wanted to explain before I hand you this... tag team contracts are done differently than singles. Noe - In what way? Stank - Under tag team stips, should the team... dissolve... Noe - Ha! Stank - ... then each individual will revert to a standard rookie contract, no matter how much time or success they had as a team. This only holds true for talent who initially sign on with the OOWF as a team. Like Texpress and your team. This stip does not apply to individuals who form a makeshift team, nor does it apply to stables. Noe - ... okay... why? Stank - Something about it being an incentive for teams to stay together. The OOWF loves tag-team wrestling. It's sort of a way to maintain a viable tag team division. Should a team that breaks up have a manager, that manager will recieve a 2% reduction in pay until their contract expires. They can earn back that percentage should they choose to stay on as a show time personality in some capacity. Noe - Meaning? Stank - You know... become a commentator... in your case maybe a sexy female journalist... a ring announcer... Noe - What if I were to find another team to manage? Not that this will ever be a problem. Stank - If you find another team then the standard Tag Team contract applies... bonuses for success. Noe - Okay give me the document and I'll bring it to the boys to sign. Stank - Good. I think we're done here. Noe - Not quite. Stank - Here we go. *Noelani smiles.* Noe - Don't worry this should be painless. Stank - We'll see. Noe - We're tired of being ignored. Stank - By...? Noe - Everyone. Stank - Might help if you promoed more. Noe - I think we promo enough. Stank - mmmmmm...barely. Noe - We can't all pontificate incessantly about our "greatness". Stank - That's not a necessary function of frequent promoing. Noe - Promoing? Stank - It's a word. Alan Capps told me so. Noe - Who? Stank - Never mind. You're tired of being ignored. What do you expect me to do about that? Noe - Give us higher profile matches. Stank - That's not up to me. Firewoman is a better candidate to address that issue. Noe - Could you do that for me? Stank - What? Why? Noe - I don't think I'd get much headway with her. She'll listen to you more than I. Stank - What do I have to gain by doing this? Noe - My gratitude of course. Stank - Really? That's it? Noe - My gratitude is worth quite a bit. Stank - ... in what way? Noe - Not sexually if that is what you were thinking. Stank - I wasn't thinking that. Noe - Stank -... Noe - Stank - Okay maybe I was... a little. A guy can dream, right? Noe - And a dream it shall remain. No, I mean the time may come when you will need me and my boys. Stank - I can't imagine a time when that will be. Noe - I can... I'm often more right about these things than not. Just consider it. I hold no further expectations. *Noelani hops off the couch.* Noe - I will have this signed before the close of business today. *Stank rises from his seat and shows Noelani to the door.* Stank - Pleasure seeing you. Noe - I'm sure it is. *Noelani opens the door and finds Stan Fulton standing there about to knock. She she squeezes past Fulton and heads out the suites. Stan watches her leave then turns to address The World Champ.* SF - You ready big man? Stank - Sure, Crusher. Just let me grab my gym bag. SF - Oh by the way, I saw Justin Sane. Stank - What? Where? SF - Sitting in catering? Stank - Was he surrounded by Eric and his crew? SF - Nope. Stank - Right. Okay. Let's go. Fade
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:15:56 GMT -5
Firewoman is working on a little paperwork in her office when Ecosystem walks in. He looks ragged, worn.
Fire: Do you have business? And where have you been? You pop in and out, but you haven't cut any pro--
Eco: I know why you wanted to hurt my sister.
Fire: Ah, yes. The secret reason. Not the months of drugging and torture. The SECRET reason.
Eco: It’s because you knew what I meant when I spoke of my sister. What you saw in my eyes. It’s the contentment, the joy, that only comes from unconditional love from your blood. And you’ve never had that. Stupid fucking John, your little dance with him, FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM.
Eco runs his hands through his hair,, and it’s so oily, it stands straight up. He clearly hasn’t showered in days.
Fire: Are you quite al—
Eco: What is that paperwork in the “Juni” file?
Fire: I have some forms for you to sign, regarding longevity pay—
Eco: Fuck longevity pay. I’m vetoing it. Fuck Eric’s bitching, fuck John and Davin’s stupid nails-in-the-face pissing contest, fuck Lucas trying to run this place like some old boys’ club. Do you see me playing as though CEO is a fucking game? I’m facing DH Magnusson this week. I could be taking the week off, but I’m curtain-jerking with Magnusson. You know why? Because I learned real fast that ratings and shareholders keep this company alive, and that this company keeps wrestling alive in a world of entertainers. If the Fuckhead Five and the Royal Pains are uninterested in that, I’m going to have restore some professionalism.
Fire: Where are you going?
Eco: I’m going to talk to Alexander.
Eco exits as Fire looks askance.
FADE
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:16:50 GMT -5
*Samantha Darling-Moreland is WATCHING~! Moosehead Jack's promo on OOWF-TV from her bed. Davin's asleep. She's also wearing a DEA #4 Hockey Jersey that appears to be the genuine article. She smiles throughout the promo, giggling at the end.*
SDM: Davin in Moose's head? Check.
*She pulls out a notebook and actually crosses something off before putting the notebook away, turning off the TV, and rolling over to sleep*
*fade*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:17:12 GMT -5
*Stank is on his way to his hotel room after having gone over strategy with Stan "Crusher" Fulton. He presses the OOWF app on his Android phone and catches Ecosystem's promo.*
Stank - Old boy's club? What the fuck is he talking about?
*Stank scowls as he watches the rest of the promo. He shuts off his phone and enters the hotel as the camera fades.*
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:18:43 GMT -5
**A Ninjacam picks up L.D.Williams walking down a hallway, whistling. He stops at a door and knocks. SFJ#420 answers.**
LDW: “Hi, Moonbeam.”
SFJ#420: “Dude, Davin’s, like, kinda busy…”
LDW: “No worries. When you see him, can you please give him this, with my compliments?”
SFJ#420: “It’s a check - a big one.”
LDW: “That it is.”
SFJ#420: “What’s it for?”
LDW: “His share. Being an asshole may be one of Davin’s more endearing qualities, but dude knows how to move merchandise.”
**SFJ#420 watches L.D. walk away, still whistling, then shrugs and closes the door.**
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:19:51 GMT -5
Firewoman FOLLOWS~! Ecosystem out of her office and quickly over takes him in the waiting area. She spins Ecosystem around so he hits the wall, back first.
Eco: Ah....plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose, Lisa?
FW: You know, veto my idea out of spite if you want. You know I'm right. We hemorrhage talent like we have been, and you'll see both stockholders and ratings dwindle. That's on you, not me.
Eco: So?
FW: I don't know what you're going to see Alexander about, but consider this your warning. Fuck with him, you'll answer to me.
Eco: Duly noted, madame commissioner.
Firewoman grabs his shoulder and pulls him away from the wall and shoves him toward the door.
FW: And for gods' sakes, take a shower.
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Apr 20, 2011 19:20:35 GMT -5
*Stank is in his hotel's lobby being interviewed by SFJ#1*
SFJ#1 - Tonight you partner up with the Intercontinental Champion to face J-P Sparxx and former IC Champ, Matt Folz.
Stank - That's right! Two of the OOWF's best want to take on THE CHAMPS! Everybody wants to take a piece of the Intercontinental Champion Crusher Fulton and yours truly, the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion! Everybody wants a PIECE! They want GOLD! They want to take our Title Belts from aroun-... from across our shoulders and claim them as their own! In a little short while Sparkplug and Folz will FIND OUT why Stan and I hold the top two championships in the OOWF! We didn't become champions by beating up nobodies! We've beat the best in this business to get here! Tell em Crusher!
*Stan Fulton comes into shot and stands on the other side of SFJ#1*
SF - The meDULLA oblongata, otherwise known as the BRAIN STEM-
Stank - What?
SF - --controls all the body functions, EVERYTHING! J-P Sparxx and Matt Folz-
Stank - Stan what are you doing?
SF - --Stank and I are going to remove your BRAIN STEMS! YOU will have to depend ON Depends, for the REST of your life because, you see, WE are the team that says what they are gonna do and then gets the job DONE!
Stank - What are we gonna do, Crusher?
SF - There's NO way, YOU TWO could legally BEAT us two, ANY time, ANY place, especially at Midweek Mayhem! ALL OUT BLITZ! ANYTHING GOES!
Stank - Wait. What kind of match are we in?
SF - NO ONE CARES... especially us!
Stank - I care.
SF - What I'm saying is it doesn't matter what kind of match we're in. They can't beat us.
Stank - Oh... I see.
SF - You're killing my vibe, man.
Stank - Going for that Road Warrior feel... I get it.
SFJ#1 - Well we got a situation here where Sparxx has joined up with Matt Folz. They are hungry for gold and a win here could bring them one step closer towards acheiving that goal. But the champs here are just as determined to hold onto their championship titles. They plan to prove just how determined they are... later on tonight! Back to you, Russ.
*The lights go off and the camera man lowers his camera.*
Stank - Thanks Nicole.
SFJ#1 - Thank you.
*SFJ#1 and camera crew leave Stan Fulton and Stank standing in the hotel lobby.*
SF - Heading to the arena.
Stank - I'll catch up with you.
*Stank and Fulton bump knuckles before they part ways, as the camera fades.*
|
|