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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:07:31 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Villa Las Estrellas, Antarctica
OOWF World Tag Team Title Steel Cage Match[/u] The Brass Knuckle Kings vs. The Flyin' Hawaiians
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] Drink & Destroy vs. Texpress & El Lobo Sangriento
No-Disqualification Match[/u] Moosehead Jack vs. J-P Sparxx
Stank vs. Alexander Darling - Non-Title Match Regicide vs. Chris Evans & Matt Folz Stan Fulton vs. Firewoman - Non Title Match
card subject to doo be doo be doo, BEWARE THE PENGUINS!
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:07:39 GMT -5
A plate shatters against a wall. The camera pans and we see Kai chucking another plate at the wall. Noelani is trying to keep a safe distance. Aina is a bit closer.
N: Kai, stop it!
K: We had 'em! We fucking had 'em!
A: Brah, I'm sorry.
K: Why did you hit him with a fucking chair? I spend all my time with you and away from Kono, and for what?! To be champions!
Noelani runs at Kai, grabbing his face in her hands.
N: Calm down.
Kai seethes but seems to calm down. Noelani then turns her head towards Aina.
N: Answer him. Why?
A: I don't know Lani, I don't know. It was just there.
Noelani backs away from Kai and points her fingers at both of them.
N: You two need to get back on the same page. Next week is your last chance. I've done all I can for you.
A: What are saying.
N: I'm saying don't lose your last chance.
K: Or what Lani?
Before she can answer, the door to the locker room opens. Noelani sees it and starts toward her room. Kai yells and grabs another plate, chucking it at the wall near the door. Alexander Darling knocks on the door as he pops his head in. He ducks just in the time for the plate to smash on the door over his head.
AD: What the?!
A: Kai!
Kai yells again and storms off to his room.
AD: I was just coming to see how you guys were. I guess I got my answer.
A: That ya did, Brah. That ya did.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:08:17 GMT -5
Firewoman is in medical, and the doctor is looking at her eyes. He has Concerned Face. Alexander comes in.
AD: How is she, Doc.
FW: ALEX!! Did you SEE THAT? Was that not the most awesome match EVER?!?
AD: Uh....
FW: I have NEVER seen Evans tap so quickly.
AD: What?
FW: And it was just a crappy single leg Boston crab.
AD: Fire....do you remember the end of the match?
FW: Yeah, I won.
AD: No, sweetie, you lost.
FW: I....I did?
AD: You did....Uh, Doc?
Concerned-Face-Doc: Well, it's definitely a concussion, but not a bad one. She'll be less loopy tomorrow, but she might be a little nauseous, some fatigue, headache.
AD: Okay....Come on, Fire, let's get back to the room.
FW: Cool! I wanna see the flying fish?
AD: Huh? Okay, never mind. Yes, you can see the flying fish.
Alexander and concussed Firewoman head out the door.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:09:44 GMT -5
As Alexander F Darling and Firewoman leave medical, in the next room is J-P Sparxx. He's being treated as Jewel looks on, concerned.
Dr: Mr. Sparxx, I advice you to take a week or two off.
J-PS: Nah, son. I'm sure I gots me a match this week. Right baby? You seen the list?
Jewel: Yeah, I seen it.
J-PS: Who I got? Do I get a rematch?
Jewel: Nah baby. Just git sum sleep, we talk 'bout it latah.
J-PS: Baby.
Jewel just rubs her hand along his head.
J-PS: Jewel?
Jewel sighs.
Jewel: You got Moosehead Jack in a No DQ match.
J-P is quiet for a few moments. But you can see the gears turning.
J-PS: So, dis how it be, huh Mr. Mann? I taje ya to da limit so ya punk me after da match. Den ya git ur boy to finish what ya couldn't ya damn self.
J-P starts to sit up, despite Jewel's best efforts to keep him laying down.
J-PS: Alright, Mr. Mann. I'll play yo stupid ass game. ya talk about respect, den ya pull dat shit. You go 'head, send me da best ya got. Send your boys. I don' care! Send 'em all. The Spark's gon' git 'em one by one, knowwhatI'msayin'? Go 'head an' hide frum me ya fat fuck! I'ma find yo fat ass an' I'ma break ya, ya feel me?!
Jewel grabs J-P by the shoulders, pulling him down on the bed, drawing a wince.
J-PS: You don' opened da can a worms, son. The Spark ain't done. The Spark's just beginnin' Welcome to ur nightmare beeyatch.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:10:23 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is sitting outside of Firewoman's Commissioner 's Office when Eric O'Mac walks up to him.*
Eric: Davin! Good to see you! How are you?
Davin: Uh, yeah, Eric, same here. Thanks for the many, many fruit baskets you've sent me over the past 4 hours.
Eric: It's the least I can do! Waiting on Firewoman?
Davin: Yeah. I've got an appointment at 11, so, if you don't mind...
Eric: Don't mind what?
Davin: Letting me prepare for my appointment.
Eric: What is your appointment about?
Davin: I need something to do for the next month.
Eric: How about wrestling? You are somewhat ok at that...
Davin: Do you even watch the OOWF?
Eric: Not really. It bores me. Now, the WWE...man, that's a hell of a wrestling company.
Davin: Did you catch me in my TNA stint a few weeks ago?
Eric: What's TNA?
Davin: Oh. Right. So, yeah, I need to get ready for that meeting.
Eric: I'm afraid it's too late for that, Davin.
Davin: And why is that.
*Eric takes out a set of keys and opens the door to the office.*
Eric: Because I'm the Commissioner for the time being. Step on in to my office.
*Eric walks in and sits down. We notice him sit a bag down behind the desk.*
Eric: What is this doing on my desk? It should say "Eric O'Mac!"
*Eric picks up the nameplate that is sitting on the desk and tosses it aside and replaces it with one that says "OOWF General Manager Eric O'Mac. Davin walks in the room.*
Davin: Uh, Eric...
Eric: I know. I'm not the General Manager, but I had it laying around for some reason.
Davin: What do you mean, you are the Commissioner for the time being?
Eric: Firewoman has been knocked loopy. I don't know why that has come as a surprise. Anyways, I'm filling in. I have experience in OOWF management, or at least I'm told I do.
Davin: I have experience too, you know.
Eric: That's great! That and a nickel will get you a few pennies.
Davin: How long will you be acting Commissioner?
Eric: I'm told a day, maybe longer? Not long enough for anyone to get pissed off about it.
Davin: And what exactly do you plan on doing as Commissioner?
Eric: I'm not really sure what she does, if I'm honest. She bitched about me taking a dump in some Whorto Ricans bag, but as far as I'm concerned, she's lucky that's all I did. I've considered doing it again.
Davin: Interesting.
Eric: Do you know what she does?
Davin: I'm assuming she can assign licenses to certain people?
Eric: Like, what kind of license?
Davin: You know, a manager's license, a referee's license, a sexy female journalist license, commentators license...
Eric: Oh, I know what you mean.
Davin: You think you could hook me up?
Eric: Sure! What do you want first? Pilot license? Ooooh, actually, I can't do that one. That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you would like a license to kill. But I can't do that either. Mine is revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you...which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked. Can I interest you in a CDL?
Davin: Um...yeah, why not.
Eric: Alright. I'll work on that. Take a pineapple as collateral until it's finished. Anything else?
Davin: Yeah...
*Fade out*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:11:04 GMT -5
*Fade back in. Clearly, both Davin and Eric have been there a while*
EOM: *yawns* Ok, so go over which ones we've done already.
DM: Ok, Manager's License. Referee's License. SFJ License...
EOM: Yeah, I don't know how that last one will work out.
DM: Commenator's License.
EOM: Sure.
DM: Dog license.
EOM: And to be clear, for my records...you hate dogs?
DM: Fishing License.
EOM: When in Antarctica...
DM: CDL...
EOM: IRT: Antarctica. Ratings, baby...RATINGS!
DM: Right...uh, that's what I have.
EOM: Is that all of them?
DM: No, there's one more.
EOM: This one...uh...License to Ill?
DM: No Sleep 'Til Penguins.
EOM: K
DM: K.
EOM: So, is that it?
DM: Yes Eric. Thanks for making this so easy. Don't be surprised if you find a nice fruit basket on your desk in a few hours.
EOM: That's why I like you, Davin. You're a classy guy. All class, all the time.
*Davin leaves, ends up in his locker room. Moonbeam is there*
DM: Hi everyone, Davin Moreland here and I'm here with veteran Sexy Female Journalist and Resident Cannibis Expert Moonbeam O'Callahan. Moonbeam? How do you feel about Davin having his SFJ License?
SFJ420: *clearly shocked* Uh....threatened?
DM: You should be. You all should be. Thank you for your time Ms. O'Callahan. And now, to anyone out there who might need a manager, or special guest referee, or needs me to bust a rhyme, call 1-800-TALK-GOAT That's 1-800-TALK-GOAT. Operators are probably standing by.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:11:40 GMT -5
*Stank walks into Medical and is immediately accosted by Jewel.*
Jewel - AY?! GIT CHO PUNK ASS-
Stank - SHUT THE FUCK UP!
*Jewel clams up. Stank turns his attention to J-P Sparxx as several medical staff move between Stank and Sparxx.*
Stank - You want some more of that ass whoopin, I am not a hard man to find Sparknik. Just how many more excuses are you going to come up with, huh? First your stupid ass implies that I had something to do with the BKK attacking you. I guess you missed Eric O'Mac attacking me last week, but whatever, moron. Think what you like, but I had exactly Jack and shit to do with them attacking your punk ass.
Now you think I book matches. You think that I have gone through the trouble to have Moosehead Jack "Finish what I couldn't". Exactly what is it that you think I'm having Moose finish for me?
J-PS-
Stank - Don't bother responding. Fact is I have finished. That is I am finished... with you. Stop straining the one brain cell you have in that thick head of yours, trying to find conspiracy theories and, or, excuses for what you should know by now... you... were just. not. good enough, tonight. You lost. I won. End of story.
*Sparxx seeths as he lies on the gurney.*
Stank - As for why I punked you after the match. Simple. While I might admire the fight you have in you, I am much less enthralled by your ignorance. Look at me.
*Sparxx who had been looking away turns his gaze back at Stank.*
Stank - I've been telling everyone who would hear for months now that they haven't been paying attention... after two powerbombs through two different tables, and one on the unforgiving, concrete, floor, the question is this Sparkles... are you paying attention.. now?
*Stank turns his gaze to Jewel.*
Stank - What have you learned?
*Stank pulls his World Championship Belt up and slings it over his shoulder. He darts one last look at Sparxx sitting up on the gurney, turns and walks out of Medical. Standing next to the door, just outside in the hallway, is Moosehead Jack with a smirk on his face. Stank looks down at at Moose. Moose pats Stank on the shoulder and they wordlessly walk away together down the hall as the camera fades.*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:12:27 GMT -5
*OOWF Hallway of Stubbornness*
After Alexander has put Fire to bed to recover from her concussion, Alexander has left the Darling locker room and is making his way back towards the Hawaiians locker room when he turns the corner and sees Stank and Moosehead Jack heading his way. Alex takes a deep breath as he continues walking down the hallway and he meets up with Moose and Stank in the center of the hallway and no one seems to be in the mood to move out of the way to let anyone continue. They stand in silence for a few minutes until Alex moves out of the way and allows Moose to pass but stands directly in the way of the current OOWF World Champ. Moose looks to Stank to see if he needs him to stick around but Stank just shakes his head and Moose slowly continues down the hallway while staring daggers at the back of Darling's head.
Stank: Got something to say?
Alexander: Not really. I just wanted to get a good look in your eye and see if I was right.
Stank: Right about what?
Alexander: JP may not have the facts right, but the theory is solid.
Stank: Oh, please enlighten me Alex...what theory?
Alexander: A couple of months back when I was fighting against Ecosystem and Tytan and Trinity, I remember you and LD both offering to watch my back and I know that didn't sit right with someone.
Stank: Is this another bullshit Moosehead Jack lackey theory?
Alexander: Nope. You and LD, you aren't lackeys, I get that now. It's about power. Following Moose's lead, it gives you that power because he doesn't have the balls to go against you and you both know he will fight in those gutters to keep power.
Stank: If you think I need anyone fighting my battles, I guess we'll see this week, won't we?
Alexander: You don't need it Stank, but it makes your life easier. For the longest time I almost felt bad for what happened to you when Alexis and I turned on you, but from day one you knew what of person I was and you knew to expect it, yet you held it against us.
Stank: What's your point Darling?
Alexander: I've never hid the person I was or the person I am or the person I want to be, but you Lucas, you're a fucking hypocrite.
Stank goozles Alex and slams him up against the wall.
Stank: Don't you dare tell me what you think I am...
Before Stank can continue, Alexander's leg shoots out and hits Stank right in the knee and Stank staggers back.
Alexander: *coughing* I'm not going to run away from this war Stank, but go back your cozy office, confer with your new running buddies and decide if it's a battle you truly want or need. "Winter is coming" Lucas, decide if you're ready for it.
Alexander continues on his journey to the Flyin' Hawaiians locker room while Stank stares dagger at his retreating body as he shakes his leg to get some feeling back into it.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:13:16 GMT -5
J-P Sparxx has left medical and is being helped to his locker room by Jewel. A few backstage roadies give him a round of applause as he goes by. He smiles a bit as he walks in pain. His face changes when he sees a camera.
J-PS: Come 'ere camera monkey!
The cameraman comes over to J-P.
J-PS: A'ight Stankapotomus, I heard what ya had ta say. Ya beat me down 'cuz ya think I'm ig'nant.
J-P seems amused.
J-PS: Dat's bullshit an' you know it, son. EVERYONE thinks I'm ig'nant. Dat ain't nuthin' new. I ain't edumacated. I know dat. So I'm callin' bullshit, knowwhatI'msayin'? Nah, I know what bothers you 'bout me. It's da numba one.
J-P holds up one finger.
J-PS: Dis is what scares ya 'bout me. Ya see, ya may have beat my ass a few times, I won't lie. But'cha know what? We got dis one, see? The Champ. The Main Man. The Big Dawg. He got a one in his loss column.
Jewel: Who dat dare beat dat Stankie?
J-P switches fingers. You can guess which one he has up now. It's gone all blurry.
J-PS: The Spark gotcha. The Spark beat dat dare Stankie. An' dat eats at ya don't it champ? Dare but for da grace a God Himself, that was a non-title match, or I'd have dat belt 'round my flawless waist, knowwhatI'msayin'? But you were lucky it weren't for it all dat night, foo. Dat belt's still 'round yo fat ass waist. Ya think it's coincidencical that you pulled dat shit a few weeks latah?
J-P pulls the camera close.
J-PS: I ain't scared a you, son. Ya done beat ma ass. A lot. But I keep gettin' up. So run away ta ur li'l office. Sign yo contracts. Bang yo secretary, whatevah it is you do wit ur time. The Spark's gon' git'cha. One a dees days. The Spark's gon' git'cha. An' as for you, Moosehead Jack...
J-P smiles.
J-PS: Do your job, homie. Serve yur boy. You a bad cat, an' dis ain't gon' be no fun. But you'll learn just like your buddy, ya can't stop The Spark. Ya just can't, knowhatI'msayin'? Are ya ready?
Jewel: ARE. YOU. READY??
J-P pushes the camera away.
J-PS: Oh, an' Champ? Use a breath mint o' somethin'. I could barely even look at ya, ya breath so rank. Now I know why dey call ya Stank. Somthin' crawled down yur throat an' died, son, knowwhatI'msayin'? Floss, do somethin'. Damn, you were makin' me vomitous.
J-P smiles again.
J-PS: See ya soon. Beeyatch. Deuces.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:13:16 GMT -5
*Stank continues to walk down the hall when he is approached by Metrosexual Male Journalist Goat#1 and Only.*
MMJ#1aO - Stank, strong words from Alexander Sisterfucker earlier, your response?
Stank - ... ... Davin?
MMJ#1&O - I don't believe the greatest of all time, 11-Time Iron Person Heavy Metal DDT, 5-Time Campeonas de Trios, Tag Team, 2-Time Onslaught, Intercontinental, 4-Time World Champion, and the ONLY 6-Pack Champion in the history of OOWF... *breathe* ... the fastest EVER to become a Grand Slam Champion...*breathe*... Davin Moreland has anything to do with your feud with Alexander Sisterfucker.
Stank - ... ... ... Are you... trying to be a.... MMJ?
MMJ#1&O - Trying? TRYING? The GOAT does not TRY. He just is!
Stank - The glasses are a nice touch.
MMJ#1&O - $350 Yves Saint Laurent (sponser pending) and thank you. Lucas Mann has a good eye for grotesquely expensive eyewear.
Stank - Okay I'll play along. What was your question?
MMJ#1&O - The GOAT does not repeat questions. Instead he will ask the current OOWF Corporate World Champion a question of greater importance... What are your thoughts on The GOAT's suspension?
Stank - You beat up a referee. You pay the consequences.
MMJ#1&O - Pay the consequences.
Stank - That's right.
MMJ#1&O - Pay the piper? Reap what you sow? Play with fire you get burned, is that it?
Stank - That's it.
MMJ#1&O - You have veto power, correct?
Stank - I can't veto corporate policy.
MMJ#1&O - Then what good are you to The GOAT?
Stank - You're not very good at interviewing, are you?
MMJ#1&O - The GOAT will get back on topic, then. You and Alexander Sisterfucker...
Stank - ... me and Alex, what?
MMJ#1&O - The GOAT is bored with this interview. Back to you Razz.
*The camera does not go back to Razz. Instead MMJ#1&O walks off camera while Stank shakes his head and resumes walking down the hall. He catches up with Moosehead Jack in catering.*
Stank - Alex calling ME a hypocrite is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
*Moose laughs*
MHJ - He called you what?
Stank - And he's itching for a war, where there isn't one to be had.
MHJ - I don't know about that
Stank - He also says Winter is coming.
MHJ - Here...? From TNA?
Stank - I guess so. I hope she doesn't try to brainwash your sister. Fire has been through enough.
*Sparxx's promo comes up on a nearby monitor.*
Stank - Good LORD is that boy HARD HEADED... he's learned nothing. He thinks I give a shit about a loss.
MHJ - Maybe he needs a different teacher.
Stank - You think you can do better, be my guest. He's all yours.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:14:44 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Hallway of Eternal Winter in the Snow Globe Arena in Villa Las Estrellas, Antarctica, where we find El Lobo Sangriento FREEZING~! his ass off as he hurriedly makes his way toward the Destroyatorium, entering as soon as he arrives to get out of the inexplicably unheated Hallway…
Crowd: Close the door!
ELS: A Murphy Brown reference? Really?
OBJ: BEEEEEELCH~! That’s Australian for it’s what’s current on TV down here.
ELS: Nice. So, what’s up, guys?
DDT: …
DVD: …
OBJ: BELLLCH~! That’s Australian for “…”
ELS: Whoa, why the cold shoulder? I just stopped in for a beer and to get out of the freezing hallways.
*DDT points at the wall, where the lineup for Mayhem has been posted. Lobo heads over and has a look…
ELS: Well, that’s interesting. Looks like I’m teaming with Texpress against you guys this week. That should be a great match. Hope you guys are up on your Onslaught Rules.
DVD: Why would we need to be?
ELS: Eco made the call that all of my matches are contested under Onslaught Rules until I win the Onslaught Title.
DVD: I’m sure that was meant to apply to singles matches only.
ELS: No, the language was pretty clear. All matches. Unless one of our multiple authority figures overrules the stipulation, I’m pretty sure that’s the way it has to be.
DVD: I guess we’ll just have to see about that. Anyway, you don’t think it’s a problem you being in here two days before the match?
ELS: Don’t see why it should be. Look, if you want to get into training or discussing match strategy, I can take off and leave you to it. Otherwise, I could really go for a beer.
OBJ: BEELLCH~! That’s Australian for pull up a chair, mate.
*Lobo grabs a seat and is handed a beer. The group settles into a casual conversation about current events and whatnot as we *FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:15:26 GMT -5
CUT to an OOWF-TV interview area monitor which has been playing the preceding promos. The camera PANS over to former AWA announcer Larry Nelson.
LN: "Hello everybody, and welcome to OOWF Xtra right here on Versus. I'm your host, Larry Nelson. Coming up on today's program, we speak with Interim Commissioner Eric O'Mac, Darius Prentiss is in action against Sven Favre and we look back at this past weekend's Territorial Beatings pay-per-view.
"First up, my guest is OOWF Intercontinental Champion, The Crusher Stan Fulton. C'mon in here, Stan."
Fulton walks in from off-camera looking a little worse for wear. Stitches are visible on his forehead.
LN: "Stan, you had quite a match Sunday night against Matt Folz."
SF: "Larry, first of all, nice to see you again. Glad you got this gig."
LN: "Thanks. Sorry about that trouble with Lee Marshall."
SF: "Water under the bridge, Larry. So back to your question, which come to think of it wasn't a question was it?"
LN: "Uh, no. Here's one. What are your thoughts about your match with Matt Folz this past Sunday?"
SF: "It was a brutal match, as I'm witness to. But I expected that. Heck, I'm the one that chose the cage match stipulation. Think I didn't plan on this brutality beforehand?
"But Matt? Did you plan on it? You took me to the edge of destruction and didn't finish the job. Sunday night, I was the better wrestler and this (he pats the IC belt laying over his shoulder) proves it. I gave you a DRAGLINE from the top rope and the ref counted one-two-three. That's it. You had your shot and lost. Enjoy facing jobbers for a while."
LN: "You face Firewoman on this week's Midweek Mayhem. Any chance you take it easy on her due to her concussion?"
SF: "None whatsoever, Larry. And I think Fire would want it that way. She's never backed away from anything no matter what her injury. But I have to say that I'm certainly going to use her injuries to my advantage. I plan on kicking her in the head more than a few times and then dropping this 450 pound body on top of her injured ribs.
"I expect her to take a dozen shots or so at my forehead. It's the nature of the game, Larry. And I have learned to play this game well. I am the OOWF Intercontinental champion. I plan on being the longest title holder in this company's history. And if I have to injure every person in that locker room to do it, I will.
"Moosehead Jack showed me that I was waffling between being a champion to the fans or being a Capital-C Champion. I like being a title holder. I don't care if the fans cheer or boo. I will walk out of Antarctica with my hand raised and if I have to walk all over Firewoman to do so? All the better."
LN: "Any concerns that OOWF Onslaught Champion Alexander Darling, the husband of your Mayhem opponent, might retaliate?"
SF: "That's always a possibility, Larry. If he wants to fight a war on two fronts, that's his funeral. He's got his hands full with Chris Evans right now. He likes to claim these days that "Winter is coming" like he's the modern day Ned Stark.
"Just remember, Alex, what happens to Ned once he's the King's Hand. And winter? I grew up with winter. Winter is a long time friend of mine. We're alike in that we're cold as hell and nothing or no one can stand in our way. I'm more like one of The Others. I will freeze your heart and soul."
LN: "Gettin' a little weird around here."
SF: "You're not just whistlin' Dixie, Larry."
LN: "Any last comments to Firewoman?"
SF: "Not really. She'd probably not remember them anyway at this point. I'll comment in the ring."
LN: "Thank you for your time, Crusher. Good luck on Wednesday."
Fulton nods and walks off camera.
LN: "The Crusher Stan Fulton faces former OOWF World Champion Firewoman this Wednesday night on Midweek Mayhem. Coming up on OOWF Xtra on Versus, Darius Prentiss is in action. We'll be right back."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:16:06 GMT -5
<Moose and Stank are still hanging back by catering getting ready to board the ship back to South America so we can FLY (yes FLY, ALL of us) to Cape Town>
MHJ: Oh, Stank, one more thing........Five still works around here, right?
Sta: Five? Why the hell do you want to know that? Look we were a thing once, and I still......
MHJ: Look, does she still work here or not? I haven't seen her as a SFJ in awhile
Sta: Yeah, she moved up, she is a Production Assistant now.......why?
MHJ: Look, if I have to promo off of marblemouth Sparxx I am going to need a translator...what the fuck is that boy saying?
Sta: <laughing> Your street cred just took a hit Moose
MHJ: Fuck that. J-Roc and his Park Rat want to think that I am doing your dirty work? Let 'em. Fact is he obviously hasn't been around long enough to know why I do what I do. I never liked you Sparxx, but since you are boys with Davin? I like you even less.
Sta: What about Darling?
MHJ: Whether we officially clique with Tytan, LD and Fulton or not, Darling doesn't have the balls to go to war again
<Moose and Stank laugh and walk away>
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:16:49 GMT -5
*J-P Sparxx and Jewel are walking down the hallway when they're ACCOSTED~! by a pair of People. As the camera gets closer, we see it's CBS' Own Gus Johnson and SMJ#1. Ah Christ..*
GJ: Hi everybody, I'm Gus Johnson, alongside Grand Slam Champion Davin Moreland.
SMJ#1&O: Great to be here Gus. We're here with multiple-time Champion and OOWF's fastest Rising Star-
GJ: Rise and FIRE!
SMJ#1&O: No, Rising Star.
GJ: Rise and FIRE!
SMJ#1&O: Gus, let me take the lead on this one. Something's not quite right.
GJ: A bit shaky today.
SMJ#1&O: That might be it.
JPS: Yo, we gon' interview or what?
GJ: HA HAAA!
SMJ#1&O: Mr. Sparxx, thank you for taking the time out of your day for us here at OOWF-TV. I know you're very busy.
J: Yeah, busy smokin' da icky.
JPS: Hush yo mouth, girl.
J: You can't talk to me like dat! You don' OWN me!
JPS: *sigh* You welcome, D-Dawg. You welcome.
SMJ#1&O: Now, I can tell you from my vast personal experience what it's like to feud with Lucas "Stank" Mann. We've had war after war and taken each other to hell and back. You've seen the video of that-
JPS: You made me, son.
GJ: HE BANKED IT OHHHHHHHHH!
SMJ#1&O: J-P, what lessons do you think you've learned from that experience that will help you avoid those mistakes that I've made as you go forward with the Heavyweight Champion?
J: See baby? Now DATS a great question. Why it be dat NONE o' those mo-fuckas eva be askin' good questions? Dey should be takin' some notes.
GJ: When they need baskets they go to him.
JPS: Yo check it, D. You got too personal an' whatnot wit Stank.
SMJ#1&O: Yeah, but it popped ratings like crazy. Tough balance to maintain there.
JPS: True, true. You also be gettin' too emotional. Like you said, you get too emotional, it be hard to focus n' shit.
SMJ#1&O: I'm 100% positive I didn't say "it be hard to focus n' shit"
JPS: Yeah, dat be called a "Rhetorical Flourish". Knowwhatimsayin?
*Davin kind of looks at him*
GJ: WHAT....A HUSTLE PLAY!
SMJ#1&O: I will say you've gotten quite the reaction out of the Champ. Usually he's able to brush it off and focus on his own thing. But you've clearly gotten under his skin. And you've got a win over him, which not a lot of other people can say lately.
JPS: Dat win just give me da confidence dat I needed. I knew I could hang wit Stankiepoo. I just didn't know, you know, for SURE, dat I could beat him one-on-one, knowwhatimsayin? But I DID, and now, it be Stank dats on defense.
J: Tell 'em, baby.
SMJ#1&O: Well, continued success going forward, J-P. You've taken OOWF by storm and don't look to be relinquishing that anytime soon. Good luck this Wednesday at Midweek Mayhem.
JPS: Don' need luck, D. Deuces.
GJ: PUUUUUUUURRRE....
JPS: LOVE dat Gus guy...
*They leave*
SMJ#1&O: Well, that was a good insight into the mind of a burgeoning mega-star in J-P Sparxx.
GJ: ANOTHER...BIG TIME J!
SMJ#1&O: So Gus, what's next?
GJ: Workin' Hard...
SMJ#1&O: Hey, this is your gig, you're supposed to know what's going on.
GJ: ...
SMJ#1&O: ...
GJ: GOT IT!
SMJ#1&O: Ok.
GJ: CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN!
SMJ#1&O: You sure?
GJ: COUNT IT!
SMJ#1&O: Moosey the mastermind and master manipulator. It would appear your little plan has backfired. I mean, this was transparent, even for you. What did you THINK would happen, really? Now I've made you my bitch in front of everyone, and you look like the biggest fool this side of Sting. Actually, that's appropriate, considering you get cheers like he does. What a badass heel you are, Amar'e. The Brits in Port Stanley love you. But, then again, that's what you REALLY want deep down anyway, right? You can deny it all you want, but guess what, people believe me a hell of a lot more than they believe you. What I say makes sense. What you say has become cliche. Which do you think people will gravitate toward?
GJ: THAT'S THE GUY THAT SHOULD SHOOT IT!
SMJ#1&O: Yes Gus. And I am. Shooting it. And it's resonating. Every denial you spew forth makes you look more and more like a delusional denier. We've got polls on OOWF.com that prove me right, Mooseyhead. Don't worry. Soon, very soon, all of "Them" that you deny will embrace you as the respected veteran that you are, playing the role of a heel. Perpetuating that myth like you're telling a bunch of 5-year-olds that there really is a Santa Claus. Unfortunately for you, our fanbase isn't 5. There's no Santa Claus. There's no Easter Bunny. And there's no One-Dimensional Linear Heel in the OOWF. It's an act. A farce. A fraud, if you will.
GJ: HA HAAAA!
SMJ#1&O: So I'm not entirely sure whether you believe your own bullshit or not, but if you do - let's just say you're the last one to know the truth. You need "Them". And you'll do ANYTHING to conceal that - even hiding behind your friends, and refusing championships to stay out of the spotlight.
GJ: 2 to tie, 3 to win.
SMJ#1&O: Here's the main difference between you and me, Mooseyhead Jackie. You shun the spotlight, hoping upon hope that people will never get wise to your need for "THEIR" adulation. Me on the other hand? I love the spotlight. I crave it. I need it. If I'm not the center of attention, I'm spending my time figuring out a way to BECOME the center of attention. I EMBRACE the spotlight. Because, Mooseyhead Jackie, unlike you, I've got nothing to hide. Everything I feel I put out there. Everything I feel I need to say, I say. I'm an open book. I hide nothing. I give people facts and let them make their own decisions. You choose to lie to these people every day. And it doesn't work. "THEY" love you more than ever, no matter whose skirt you choose to hide behind - be it a person or a stipulation or whatever.
GJ: WHAT A GAME!
SMJ#1&O: So Jackie. What's your next move? You cost me a match and a championship, expecting Texpress to turn on me, and that I wouldn't be able to handle it. You failed.
GJ: AND BURIES IT!
SMJ#1&O: You took me out backstage, in an attempt to put me out physically. You failed at that.
GJ: HOW ABOUT THAT?
SMJ#1&O: And now you thought your silly little "Special Referee Don't Touch Me" thing was going to put me out for a month...and that I'd go away. And for the third time, you've failed.
GJ: OH, and he gets the bounce!
SMJ#1&O: Life is about failure, Jackie. What makes us stronger is how we handle adversity, Jackie.
GJ: AND ONE!
SMJ#1&O: However, there comes a time when a mounting pile of failure should be telling you something. And it should be telling you something right now, Jackie. It should be telling you that I am, indeed, right. And you, Jackie, you are wrong, and have BEEN wrong all these years. If this constant embarrassment and humiliating exposure is what you need to see that, then so be it, Jackie. But what you're no longer going to get away with are your constant lies. You will be called out, lie by lie - with evidence on my side, and an empty "Nuh-uh" on yours. And by then, "THEY" will feel so bad for you, that not only will those who cheer you now continue to do so, but the rest of their friends will join in. I'm gonna make you the top face in the company, Jackie. Because you know, in your heart, it's secretly what you want. Davin Moreland has always been beneficent and magnanimous. And I give of myself freely, Jackie. I'll make your dreams come true. So with that, in the words of my friend J-P Sparxx...Deuces.
GJ: AND IT'S OVER! WHAT A GAME!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:17:58 GMT -5
**Tytan is in the Regicide locker room, watching OOWF television. L.D. enters and tosses him a bottle of water.**
LDW: “What’d I miss?”
T: “Alex admitted you and Stank aren’t Moose’s lackeys.”
LDW: “Only on karaoke night.”
T: “Do I want to know?”
LDW: “Surely you’ve heard of us? Moosehead Jack and the Lackeys?”
T: “…”
LDW: “…”
T: “You really shouldn’t try to be funny.”
LDW: “Especially not around you. What else?”
T: “Moose and Stank are still teasing that group we haven’t formed with them and Fulton. Seems to be making Alex paranoid.”
LDW: “Always a good thing.”
T: “And speaking of Fulton, he thinks we’re jobbers now.”
LDW: “…”
T: “No joke for that one?”
LDW: “Stan says stuff like that. Best to move on.”
T: “Oh, and Davin is a licensed…everything, apparently. He’s hiring himself out to manage, promo, referee,…”
LDW: “Toss me my cell phone.”
T: “What’s up?”
LDW: “We should see if Davin will cut a promo for our match this week.”
T: “Seriously?”
LDW: “Life is only as fun as you make it.”
T: “Moose is going to have a stroke.”
**Tytan tosses LD his phone as we fade.**
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:18:35 GMT -5
<Moose and Stank watch Davin's promo, Stank just shakes his head>
MHJ: Is Davin deaf?
Sta: What?
MHJ: You have access to the medical files, seriously, does he have a hearing problem?
Sta: Not that I should share this with you, but no, he does not.
MHJ: So then, he is just stupid?
Sta: Possibly
MHJ: Does he just not LISTEN?
Sta: Davin hears what he wants to hear
MHJ: When I came out, they booed me out of the arena. No one with any semblance of sense could POSSIBLY mistake that for cheers
Sta: He is doing this to annoy you
MHJ: He is a fucking idiot coward. You heard me right Diva. A fucking coward. Yeah, I attacked you. And I would do it again in a second. I wanted to see how fucking stupid you were, and how worthless your word was. You proved that you were just as stupid, and every bit the liar as i expected. You tell those idiot fans and anyone else that would listen that you were going to end Moosehead Jack. You were going to end the comical farce that my career had become. The so-called Greatest of all Time was going to do big important things, just as soon as he could get Moosehead Jack in that ring.
So what do you do? You get suspended. You KNEW going into the match that attacking the official - me - would draw a one month suspension. So, you took the cowards way out. Oh sure, you can be back here with that worthless sack of crap Gus Johnson, and what two dollar whore Shawn Johnson and whatever other bit of entourage you need to keep around you to stroke your ego. But, the fact remains that your promise to prove to the world, in the ring, that Moosehead Jack was a fraud, and someone who simply COULD NOT HANG with the great Davin Moreland.......well that isn't going to happen anytime soon, now is it.
Keep spouting your bullshit about Them and the fans, and how you think I need them, or whatever other bullshit you can come up with Diva. All I need is your blood on my hands. And when you grow a set and decide not to take the coward way out and get yourself suspended? There will be more blood than the OOWF has ever seen.
Trust me.
<Moose is standing there clearly annoyed, Stank just looks at him>
MHJ: WHAT?
Sta: This is what I was talking about. This is not going to end well.
MHJ: This is going to end exactly as it should, Davin Moreland lying in a pool of his own blood
<Stank shakes his head> No Moose, it won't end until one of you leaves
MHJ: They said the same about me and Darling, and that fuckwit is still around making empty threats
Sta: And the only reason it DIDN'T end like that is because the board stepped in and put a stop to it. There is precedent set.
MHJ: Wait, what the fuck are you saying?
Sta: <looking at Moose> I am saying that if you and Davin want to beat the shit out of one another? Feel free. Hell I will enjoy watching you cave his skull in. But if you two think you are going to drag the OOWF into oblivion with you? Not on my fucking watch.
<Stank turns and walks away, Moose watches him go, then heads out of the arena to the ship>
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is standing in front of the OOWF Banner/Brick Wall thing. He's got an "LD Williams is a Fraud" t-shirt on*
SMJ#1&O: Hello everybody, and welcome to our continuing coverage of the OOWF. At this time, I would like to bring one of our featured matches at this week's Midweek Mayhem to everyone's attention. It may be getting lost in the shuffle a bit, but it's far too important to fall out of everyone's collective memory. Of course, I'm speaking of the upstart tag team Regicide, taking on Chris Evans and Matt Folz - better known as Team Ambien.
SMJ#1&O: Now I can hear you sitting at home saying "there's a whole bunch of boredom and suck in that match". You might be right. However, any match with The Fraudulent LD Williams in it is always a must-see. Let's break down the two sides, shall we?
SMJ#1&O: First off, with Regicide, we're talking about a team with Multiple World Heavyweight Championships, and LD? Well, he has as many total Championships as The GOAT, me, Davin Moreland. That right there is intimidation enough, for any team. Let alone a team consisting of the equivalent of 2 Carlitos.
SMJ#1&O: That's right, Team Ambien. Chris Evans and Matt Folz. Two supposedly talented wrestlers who never seem to win shit. No one wants to go on record saying that they absolutely suck. But me? I'm a truth-teller. They absolutely suck. There's a reason Alexander and Myself gave up on those two lost causes.
SMJ#1&O: You see, remember my interview with J-P Sparxx earlier? That's the definition of a class act, a guy who takes his God-Given Talent and generates it into a terrific career. He's present. He doesn't back down, and he wins big matches.
SMJ#1&O: Now Team Ambien? They've never won a big match. Ever. They back down at the first hint of conflict and neither one of them are present. If they don't care, why should anyone else? Simple answer.
SMJ#1&O: You shouldn't.
SMJ#1&O: So let's go through the checklist. Experience? Goes to Regicide. Championship Pedigree? Goes to Regicide. Talent? Goes to Regicide. Ability to get themselves over? Goes to Regicide. Best Chance of Not being little bitches? Goes to Regicide. Non-Douchebags who only root for one fucking team at a time? Goes to Regicide.
SMJ#1&O: So, in closing, Regicide should win this match going away. Tytan is a little bitch most of the time, but he's got nothing on Team Ambien, who are the bitchiest bitches that ever bitched, and pussiest pussies that ever pussied. I expect a relative squash, somewhere around 10 minutes...Let's say LD The Fraud Williams with his STFraud in like 9:51.
SMJ#1&O: This Breakdown has been brought to you by Dunkin' Donuts, Aquafina, and Johnny's Clangy Poles. When you need a Clangy Pole in a hurry, call Johnny's. Guaranteed Delivery within 24 hours. Call 1-800-4-CLANGY for more details.
SMJ#1&O: That's it from here, but on a more personal note, I just wanted to thank Jackie for producing yet another yawn-inducing, paint-by-numbers promo. You can put words in people's mouths all you want, but in the end, the truth will win out. And the truth, as they say, will set you free.
SMJ#1&O: Up Next, a detailed look back at one of OOWF's great wrestlers...wait, great? Really? I don't think- Ok, FINE. One of OOWF's great wrestlers, The Dead - narrated by...huh...Dynamite Danny Taylor. Well, that's appropriate. For the OOWF, I'm Davin Moreland...DALLAS BRADEN!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:20:00 GMT -5
Firewoman goes in her office, feeling much better, and sees Eric O'Mac and his feet up on her desk. She stares at him until he notices she's there.
EOM: Alone at last!
FW: Eric.....
EOM: Shouldn't you be resting or concussing...or whatever.
FW: Get out of my office.
EOM: FINE!!!!
Eric stands, indignant, and storms out. Fire sighs and sits at her desk.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:20:50 GMT -5
(Tytan and LD are in the locker room watching the promo that Davin did.)
LD: Well what do you think?
Tytan: For the most part he was pretty good. That was actually the most positive comments I have heard from him.
LD: Don't go there?
Tytan: Hell man, doesn't mean I am exchanging Christmas cards with him anytime soon.
LD: Moose would go off on that one.
Tytan: Speaking of Moose have we heard anything more on this pack that he is hinting at?
LD: When the times comes we will know it. I have ran with them a long time.
Tytan: Good, cause right now I am still trying to figure out if we are suppose to be cheered or not.
LD: Feared is always better.
Tytan: Point taken, and that's exactly what Evans and Flotz need to be doing.
LD: We are Regicide and your fall is going to be a long way down.
(FADE)
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:21:35 GMT -5
Sitting in her office, Commissioner Firewoman's phone buzzes. Justin Sane's voice crackles through the receiver (as it's on speaker phone).
JS: Lady Firewoman?
FW: Stop calling me that.
JS: Yes, Ma'am.....that phone call you were waiting for is on Line 1.
FW: Awesome.
Fire picks up the receiver so we only get one side of the conversation.
FW: Hey......yes, two questions. First....WHY THE FUCK ARE WE IN ANTARCTICA?..........no one LIVES here except a handful of scientists and a whole lot of penguins...............a cruise ship?.....seriously?......people paid to take a cruise to Antarctica to see us?........................wow......okay, yeah, that's actually not a terrible idea.............................that much? Okay....it's a great idea......Yeah, okay, question two....when are you coming back?...........I'm doing what I can here, but that's not a lot............well, no one apparently WANTS you back, so that does make it difficult...........................what? I feel fine......no, still nauseous from the head bump I guess, or lingering sea sickness, who knows............feh....one of the beauties of being a sociopath, is extreme pain tolerance....yeah, even if I feel it, it doesn't bother me........whatever....I'll let you know.....see ya.
Firewoman hangs up.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:22:48 GMT -5
CUT to LD Williams and Tytan's locker room where there's a knock on the door.
LDW: "You want to get that?"
T: "Not really. You?"
LDW: "One of us should."
T: "Probably."
LDW: "---"
T: "---"
Another knock is heard.
LDW: "Come in."
The door opens and The Crusher Stan Fulton peeks his head in.
SF: "Hey, guys. Can I come in?"
T: "LD already said come in. How much more clear could he be?"
LD nods as Fulton comes the rest of the way into their room.
SF: "Look, I wanted to apologize for the curtain jerking comment. It wasn't directed at either of you. I frankly didn't look to see who Matt was wrestling this week. It was more of a general statement of his future matches."
LDW: "---"
T: "---"
SF: "So, uh, um, no hard feelings, right? Since if Moose's plans come around we'll be working together. 'Kay?"
T: (to LD) "You think we should forgive him?"
LDW: (to Tytan) "Eh. I suppose. He is known as not being all that bright."
T: "This is true. A dim bulb, so to speak."
LDW: "Not crazy mind you, just slow."
T: "No, no. Not Moose or Davin crazy. Maybe a little retarded."
SF: "I'm standing right here."
LDW: "He's still here."
T: "Should we ask him to leave?"
LDW: "Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away."
Fulton, exasperated, turns and leaves closing the door behind him.
T: "It worked. You're a genius."
LDW: "You don't have to have long, convoluted promos to show that, ya know."
T: "Too true. Too true."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:24:04 GMT -5
*Stank walks into his office and finds Justin Sane sleeping on his couch. There are a number of clangy poles leaning against the wall for some reason. The box the poles obviously came out of reads, on its side, in large print, "1-800-4-CLANGY". Stank walks over to Justin and shakes him awake.*
Stank - I did not order any clangy poles, Justin.
*Justin sits upright and rubs his eyes.*
JS - Can I have them?
Stank - Why do you nee- when am I going to learn not to ask. Go ahead Justin. Keep them. But they are coming out of your paycheck.
JS - YAY! I get a paycheck!
Stank - You've BEEN getting a paycheck for the last month. Don't you read your mail?
JS - YAY! I get mail!
*Stank drops his chin to his chest and rubs his temples.*
Stank - Justin go back to your desk.
JS - Okay, sir.
Stank - And send in a SFJ.
*Justin stands and walks toward the exit.*
JS - Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
Stank - What?
JS - CEO theEco has put you in charge of overseeing the setup of the show on Wednesday.
Stank - What? WHY? That's NOT my job!
JS - He said he couldn't be bothered.
Stank - WHAT? I don't know the FIRST thing about setting up for the show. We're in fucking ANARTICA! Where the HELL are we supposed to setup?
JS - I don't know... maybe a really big Igloo?
Stank - Your guess is as good as mine. I'm vetoing this. And DAMN Eco for making me use one on THIS bullshit.
JS - Okay. CEO theEco said if you veto this the task would go to Lady Commissioner.
Stank - Don't call her that.
JS - Okay, but she might be mad you passed the buck.
Stank - Fine. I'll deal with whatever consequence my decision may have. Get me the SFJ, Justin.
JS - Yes sir.
*Justin walks out in to the receptionist area of the administrative suites (On the boat I presume). Stank sits at his desk and a few minutes later SFJ#1 comes in.*
Stank - Nicole, thanks for coming.
SFJ#1 - Thank you for the interview.
Stank - It's not so much an interview as it is a statement. I wanted it to be a formal one, instead a random get by the ninjacams. You can ask me a follow up question if you wish. Where's your camera crew?
*Just as Stank asks the question, the camera crew arrives consisting of a lighting guy, grip, and traditional camera man. They set up and Stank begins.*
Stank - Alex, I wanted to take this time to address your words to me earlier, no doubt broadcasted by the INC's. Most of what you said was flat out false... but the bullshit is not what I want to address. I want to talk about the truths that were there.
You inferred that my position was about power. This is true. I have power and will use it when needed. Though your assessment that I have followed Moose's lead in obtaining this power is completely incorrect, you might recall Moose wasn't even working for the company when I got it, you are correct that my holding this position is about power. With this power I have committed some pretty selfless acts... I've brought your wife to power, and kept Ecosystem, for the most part, in check, thus preventing widescale mutiny and or war. You see it's also about checks and balances. And I am arrogant enough to believe that only I could do this job satisfactory. Your CEO also believes this, which is why I hold the position. Moose has nothing to do with it which should be obvious, but I understand your misguided logic. My friendship with Moose confuses you.
Confusion... it defines your career, Alex. You say you've never hidden the person you were, the person you are, or the person you want to be. Well let's see... You were Poe's lackey. You are Alexander Darling and we're just not. Then there's the person you want to be... which is whom, exactly?
You want to be remembered... you want a legacy. You want what I already have... or do you?
Nothing you've done, save for a feud with Moose... is anything worth being remembered. Oh you've accomplished much. You're a multiple time champion. Then again... so was Dave Batista. You think anyone will remember his WWE career, 10, 20 years down the road? Batista has a resume... he doesn't have a name... it's the same thing with you, Alex. You have an impressive resume... you have no name. You keep telling us you're Alexander Darling and we're not, but who are you trying to convince? Us... or yourself?
Let's talk about hypocrites, shall we?
I'm no saint. Never claimed to be one. I just am who I am. Cheers, boos, it's all the same to me. I do what I do when I want to do it. Friend or Foe, face or heel. Why? I can't be catergorized, I'm not one dimensional (pay attention) I am Lucas Mann. The Badass Motherfucker. The Monster Reign. The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. To those who don't pay attention I might be seen as a hypocrite. You Alex... you are a coward.
Day one you stepped into this company I was its Champion. You went after every other wrestler here, but would not challenge me. You may have caused a big stink, but you weren't making yourself a name. Let's contrast that with someone we both dislike. Davin Moreland, as much as I hate what he did, he stepped up to the champ. He called me out. He stepped up to the plate and now he has a name. You both came in roughly at the same time... and all you have is resume.
Every opportunity you've had to take that one last step into greatness... you've stopped short. You think winning the World Title gives you the name you seek? Carving your initials on Moose's chest? Marrying a Quinn? The differences are clear... as clear as the differences between Christian and Edge, Sabu and Mick Foley, AJ Styles and Sting, John Cena and The Rock... one step seperates them... one step. That is the step you refuse to take. No one here has held you back and no one is going to hand it to you. Admit it Alex. You are afraid of greatness. You want it, but you won't do what is necessary to get it.
This war you're itching for will gain you nothing. Feuding with Moose will only shorten your career. Stating your name doesn't make it so. Your path to greatness lies through... me. In this company I have always been that one step in front of you.
The one step to your name, Alex.
You don't believe me?
Then you haven't been paying attention.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:24:45 GMT -5
Chris Evans has finished watching Davin Moreland's promo. Matt Folz enters.
MF: Hey Chris, you see Davin’s promo?
E: Yeah, just finished watching it. So Davin think that we’re lost causes, huh? That’s pretty funny coming from a guy that I’m undefeated in singles competition against.
MF: Yeah, but we’re going up against Regicide this week.
E: Yeah? So what’s your point? Tytan is a joke nowadays, and LD is past his prime and is pretty much on his way out. I can see it in his eyes, he doesn’t have much left.
MF: Don’t you have a losing record against LD, though?
E: That’s besides the point. But you are right. Name any person in this federation and I’ve beaten them. Tytan, I’ve beat him. Stank, I’ve beat him. Moose, I’ve beat him. And I don’t care about how much Davin tries to boast about how he is the greatest of all time, cause the fact of the matter is, I’ve beaten him as well. This past Sunday, I pinned Firewoman, my former mentor. Everyone that is....
MF: Except for LD.
E: Yep. Everyone that I have faced at one time or another, I’ve either pinned them or made them tap out. Every time I’ve been in the ring with LD though, he’s gotten the better of me. But like I said, LD is not what he used to be. I won’t call LD a fraud like Davin loves to do, but the fact of the matter is that he’s weak now, and the time of wrestlers like him is coming to a close. It’s time for guys like you, Bryce, and myself to take our rightful places as the kings of this federation.
The time for us is now, and we will...reign SUPREME.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:25:29 GMT -5
~~~ We see Chad Madison talking on his Currently Unsponsored Cell Phone ~~~
Chad: .......... I know. It's not getting worse at least................... No It's not any better either................. You know! that's not a bad idea! Thanks!............ I have the gear here anyway................ I hope it helps.............. Still on course for next week then? ............................... Awesome. I'm going to go talk to Lobo and let him know.................. See you soon Bridgette.......
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 26, 2011 22:26:42 GMT -5
Davin Moreland is STANDING~! in front of 2 chalkboards, wearing a suit and his latest affectation, eyeglasses - you know, despite the 20/10 vision. The lights come up and he starts talking*
DM: Hello everyone, thank you for joining me today. In the past few weeks, I've come to you with the truth in regards to one of your favorites, the Fan Favorite, Mooseyhead Jack. I've told you about how he hides behind the skirts of his friends, and is incapable of confronting situations himself. I've told you how he shies away from holding championships for very long, because he's terrified to be the face of the company. And of course, I've told you about how he secretly seeks the approval of all of you, who he calls "Them". He does this by pretending to hate you. It's a classic case of "He doth protest too much".
*He walks over to a chalkboard. It says "Mooseyhead Jack" on it. He's got an eraser in one hand, and chalk on the other*
DM: So let's discover the truth together, shall we? There has been much said about this. That I'm delusional. That I'm lying. But the truth doesn't lie, and neither does evidence. Let's take something as simple as his name, Mooseyhead Jack. *He erases 'seyhead Jack'* Well, what do we have here? Hmm. "Moo". What goes "Moo"? A kindergartener would know this. Obviously, a cow.
*On the board, Davin writes "cow". The board currently reads "Moo -> Cow"*
DM: And what does a cow produce? Well yes, I hear you out there, milk. But what else does it produce? Cows are the world's biggest producer of methane gas.
*Moo -> Cow -> Methane*
DM: And if you listen to certain Global Warming deniers, they will tell you that one of the biggest reasons the global temperature has risen over the last several decade is because of cows producing methane gas. Whether that's true or not, and it's likely not, is irrelevant to this discussion. The fact is, in this evidentiary discussion, the fact that the two are linked is more than enough.
*Moo -> Cow -> Methane -> Global Warming*
DM: Moo to Cow to Methane to Global Warming. That's pretty obvious and clear. No further discussion is necessary. You're all smart folks. You know what's going on. Now this last part might be a little tricky, so stay with me. Let's take a look at Global Warming for a second. Seems rather innocuous, right? Other than, you know, the complete destruction of life on Earth. But that aside, we have to dig deeper. Deeper to find the truth.
*He erases some letters and the first 3 words. We're left with "G_o_al War"*
DM: It's so clear, isn't it? Jackie's goal is war. It's always been war. He requires the chaos and violence to survive. Even after the Team Davin vs. Team Bennett war, it was plain to see that Jackie drifted. He doesn't just want war. He doesn't just need war. He craves war. Between war and "Them", he's got all he needs to survive. Check the track record. He's incapable of being or doing anything alone. Kz. The Five. Stank and Moosey. The list goes on and on. And his only reason for this is to cause war. He knows he can't fight a war alone. So he plays nice with a select few that have enabled him to this point in his career, and hides behind their skirts.
DM: So we know now that his goal is war. And when everyone else in OOWF tired of the endless warring, he turned his attention on one individual. Someone he was so threatened by, someone for whom his rapid success makes all of Jackie's accomplishments look rather wack in comparison. Who is this person? I think you already know.
*He writes "Alexander Darling" on the chalkboard*
DM: Now, I'd like to extend my personal apologies to my brother-in-law Alexander here. This fact-finding mission doesn't involve him in any way, but it's IMPERATIVE to show this link. Without it, the mountains of evidence just look like random words on a chalkboard. And we all know that's just wrong. Now what is the primary reason Jackie hates Alex? Well, as we've all heard many times, it's that he's a "spoiled little rich boy". Despite the fact that Alex and Alexis were cut off from their family when they started in the business when they went to Japan, and earned every penny they have on their own, Jackie won't listen to facts.
*Alexander Darling -> Spoiled Little Rich Boy*
DM: But here's the problem. Jackie knows that no matter what, Alexander will always be more beloved by "Them" and will have a record of early success that Jackie can't match. Alexander has money, women and success, and Jackie knows, and has always known, he can't have that. In fact, he may even know, like we do, that Spoiled Little Rich Might be a bit of an anagram. Let's find out.
*He erases Alexander Darling, and underlines some letters: po t Rich Bo*
DM: Gibberish? Let's arrange them into the proper order.
*po t Rich Bo -> Poor Bitch*
DM: That's the persona he'd like you to believe he has. He's a "poor bitch". Let's ignore the fact that just a week ago he was trying to become the highest paid wrestler in the company, or that he's been in the top 3 in earnings and top 5 in merch sales since the OOWF began. Let's ignore the fact that he owns half of Detroit. Of course, if you had $50, you could own half of Detroit too. Fines, therapy for his sister, alcohol, it all adds up. Jackie would have you believe he's a pauper. When, in fact, he's a millionaire. That's right. I'm here to shatter that illusion, and you're smart people. You're waking up to the fact that Jackie is the antithesis of what he claims to be. And that it's all an act.
DM: And isn't that exactly what I've been saying all along? He's claims to be a badass, but when the rubber meets the road, he hides behind his friend's skirts. He claims to hate you folks, "Them", but we're to ignore the cheers he gets each week. We're to ignore the fact that he's so terrified of being exposed that he never holds on to championships. He's dead-set against being the face of the company because of this. We're to ignore the personal wealth he's amassed while he uses other people's income as an attempt to assassinate their character. And the response we always hear when confronted with these facts?
*He erases the board and simply re-writes "Nuh-uh. You are"*
DM: That's not a defense, that's a cop-out. Hell, it's basically an admission of guilt. Jackie, do yourself a favor. Quit while you're behind. You have no idea what you're in for if you choose to perpetuate war with me. You're bringing your tired, old slingshot to an RPG party. This will not end well for you, of that I can assure you. You've never even dreamed of being in a position like this before. I'm stronger, I'm tougher, I'm smarter, and I have the truth on my side. What do you have, Jackie?
*He flips the board over, and writes "Blood, Respect, Trust Me, Nuh Uh"*
DM: Well, that's great and all, and maybe against some glorified jobber like Folz that would be enough. It's easy when you're feuding against nothing, isn't it? But you see, Jackie, I'm not Folz. Hell, I'm not even a treasonous superhero like your best buddy Crete. No, this time, you're overmatched. Because this time, you're dealing with...
*He erases the board and writes simply: The G.O.A.T.*
DM: Cock a doodle doo, motherfucker.
*fade*
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