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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:25:05 GMT -5
CUT to another part of the deserted intersection that is IXL, Oklahoma. OOWF Intercontinental Champion and one-third of the OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions The Crusher Stan Fulton is ~OMG! READING!!~ his Amazon Kindle while sitting at a picnic table under a large umbrella. Nearby, catching some rays, as the kids say, is his attaché, Martha Rodriguez.
MR: “Stan, you haven’t said anything about your match this week.”
SF: “Too damn hot. People my size do not work well in this heat.”
MR: “Do it anyway.”
SF: “Yes, ma’am.”
Fulton sets his Kindle down and looks at the camera.
SF: “JW Westgaard and Matt Folz. You think you have any chance of taking my Intercontinental title away from me? You’re living a fantasy. And not a good Harry Potter type fantasy. This is a dark, evil story.
“This is a story where the villain doesn’t slink off at the first sign of trouble. Where the protagonist isn’t bathed in white light like an angel.
“You see, I have some extra motivation to keep this title.
“Now, we are going to have an NFL season. That’s good and bad. Good, as I get to see the rebuilding of my favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings. No, they probably won’t make the playoffs, but we’ll develop our new quarterback and sign Adrian Peterson to a long-term contract.
“But it’s also bad. Because now we have to sit through the obnoxiousness of those asshole Green Bay Packer fans like Matt Folz. They can’t just be happy for themselves over a very nice job by both Aaron Rodger and their GM, Ted Thompson. No, they have to rub our noses in their victory and make shitty comments about us and the Bears. Assholes.
“So I shall enjoy taking out my football frustrations on Matt “I’ve never met a promo I couldn’t avoid” Folz.
“Second, even though it’s about a hundred and twelve degrees, college hockey season is getting closer. But is anyone going to be talking about the collegiate national champions, the University of Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs?
“Nooooooooo. They’re going to talk about the Minnesota Golden Gophers shitty prospects and their move to the Big Ten conference and their has-been coach. UMD is defending two national championships this season. (in a whiny child-like voice) But let’s talk about the Gophers like they are in any way relevant.
(in a normal voice) “So I’ll take out my hockey and collegiate football frustrations on JW Westgaard and his shitty Gophers jersey.
“And all that is just icing on the cake, because at the heart of it all is MY Intercontinental Championship. This title is mine and it’s going to stay mine for a long, long time.
“And no Packer or Gopher fan is ever... EEEEAAAAAAVVVVVER going to lay a hand on it. Trust me.”
MR: “That’s Moose’s line. Plus you used Jericho’s line too. Say your’s.”
SF: “Folz? Westgaard? Enjoy the pain.”
MR: “That’s it. Nicely done. Finally.”
SF: *sigh*
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:25:34 GMT -5
A limo rolls up to the dusty crossroads where there are make shift bleachers, with a clear view of the street, for the inevitable street fights. Tents have been constructed that appear to house offices, dressing rooms, etc. Selena, Firewoman, and Alexander get out of the limo. Selena appears to be annoyed, but Fire and Alexander appear amused about something.
GMtS: I don't care....He said not on the plane.
FW: Correction. He said not in the bathroom.
AD: Didn't say anything about the galley.
GMtS: Whatever.....*looking around for the first time*.....what....the....hell......
Moose walks up, smoking a cigar.
MHJ: Heya Mouse.....*nods towards Fire*.....sis......*glares in Alex's general direction.*
GMtS: Where is the arena? Where is the building? It is DUSTY out here, and getting in my hair.
MHJ: Well, as you know there was some confusion about the location and --
GMtS: It says really clearly....RIGHT HERE....*she holds up the itinerary*
MHJ: No, it doesn't. No one ever heard of the IXLDome and besides, Oklahoma is close to Kansas City, and madam Cruise Director over there gets twitchy when our travel plans don't make sense....
FW: Leave me out of this. I think this was all Juni's idea.
GMtS: Well, whatever, now we have an arena pissed at us, and have I mentioned DUST IN MY HAIR!
AD: Wasn't that a song by Kansas?
MHJ: Look, you left me in charge, MOST of the company headed this way.......
GMtS: Right...fine, whatever.....do we at least have AC in the tents for Humphrey?
FW: And Opus!
GMtS: *eyeroll* And Opus?
MHJ: Yep, right this way.
Moose offers his arm to Selena, who takes it, and they head toward some structures. Fire glares at them, but then Alex does the same thing, she smiles and takes it and they follow in that direction.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:26:09 GMT -5
*Okemah Flying Field in Okemah, OK. A private jet touches down and taxis to what could pass for a terminal, although it looks a lot more like a tool shed. We close in and see Davin Moreland and Shawn Johnson, each sporting matching ice packs to their respective knees; each carrying a travel bag. They sort of look around, expecting a ride. Eventually (after like 2 minutes) Shawn gets annoyed and talks to someone from the airport inside*
OGMSJ: Ok, so there's supposed to be a car waiting for us.
SftA: Car? What kind of car?
OGMSJ: Uh, a car to drive us around since we just flew here?
SftA: Yeah, but what kind?
OGMSJ: I dunno, like a limo or a town car or a cab or a horse and buggy? You know, a CAR.
SftA: Oh, well the only limousine around here just went to I.X.L. for some reason.
OGMSJ: *sighs* That's where we're going. When is it coming back?
SftA: *checks some paperwork* Says here, "Friday". Funny, it's only a 6 mile drive.
OGMSJ: ...
SftA: So it shouldn't take them that long...
OGMSJ: ...
SftA: So anyway, Friday.
OGMSJ: Ok, well that doesn't help. How about another car?
SftA: What other car?
OGMSJ: Another car? Another car to bring us to where we're going?
SftA: What do you think this is? West Des Moines? You and your fancy Chili's and Dairy Queens and Starbucks. What do you think this place is?
OGMSJ: Um, wow. Are there any illegals here I can talk to?
SftA: Jose is out there with the mechanics. He's probably illegal.
OGMSJ: Fine.
*She marches over to Jose*
OGMSJ: Excuso Me-o. Need-o un car-o *she mimes like she's driving with a giant steering wheel* to IXL...o.
J: *accented* You need an 18-wheeler?
OGMSJ: What? Fuck no!
J: Oh. Is that what you look like when you drive a regular car?
OGMSJ: Listen bean dip, I just need a fucking car.
J: Bean dip? I'd expect more from America's Sweetheart.
OGMSJ: You know me??!
J: Of course.
*Shawn brightens*
J: I saw you choke this weekend in Chicago like you were Chris Evans in a title match.
OGMSJ: Classy.
J: You really weren't good.
OGMSJ: It was my first meet in 3 years.
J: ...
OGMSJ: I was rusty!
J: You were bad.
OGMSJ: I AM NOT BAD! I AM THE BEST GYMNAST IN THE WORLD!
J: So that's why you lost.
OGMSJ: *getting frustrated* Car. Need-o
J: I know. Need-o un-car-o, right? Luckily, your employer had his car shipped to IXL after the last show.
OGMSJ: Oh, awesome then.
J: ...
OGMSJ: Wait...
J: And here it comes...
OGMSJ: We're not IN IXL, we have to GET to IXL.
J: Shoulda had the limo waiting for you here.
OGMSJ: I DID! SOMEONE ELSE TOOK IT!
J: Too slow, I guess!
OGMSJ: ARRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!
*Before she can commit a hate crime on Jose, Davin's shitty 1995 Black Toyota Camry rolls up. Who's driving? Well, a really big dude gets out of the driver's seat, shakes Davin's hand and goes to the passenger's side. Shawn tosses her bag into the open trunk and climbs in the back seat. Davin's driving. DH Magnusson is in the passenger's seat.*
OGMSJ: Wait...MAGS?
DHM: Nice t' see y' too, Shawn. Jus' s' happens there's an an'mal shelt' right 'roun' here an' it was on the way.
OGMSJ: ...
DHM: Also, y' sucked in Chicago this weeken'. A real black eye for OOWF.
OGMSJ: HEY!
DHM: Don' get mad a' me, Shannon. 'ts not my fault that yer bad at gymnastics now.
OGMSJ: I AM NOT!
DM: Hey now, Mags. Leave her alone. It was her first competition in 3 years.
DHM: Would you ha' sucked that bad, Davin?
DM: Well, no. But we're not talking about me.
OGMSJ: FUCK YOU TOO!
DM: Anyway, sorry to put you out like this Mags. But I appreciate the ride. Kinda like the old days here; everyone just kind of hopefully showing up in the same place.
DHM: It's wha' happens when someone gives the keys ta' Moose.
DM: Yeah, we're lucky we're not wrestling in a cardboard box behind a dumpster.
DHM: Have y' SEEN IXL Arena?
DM: ...
DHM: It's sort o' like a cardboard box behin' a dumpster.
OGMSJ: So...like Moose's house?
DHM: Ah Shannon, it's much nicer tha' Moose's house.
OGMSJ: ...
DHM: It's just tha' I've seen Moose's house, ya know?
OGMSJ: ...
DM: A beautiful piece of property in downtown Detroit. I think it was valued last at $1700. Of course, that price will skyrocket as soon as he replaces the copper pipes that got stolen out of it.
DHM: Stole?
DM: Well, ok, the rumor is that in a fit of rage and angst he ripped out all the copper pipes himself and sold them for cigar money.
OGMSJ: ...
DM: But I think that's just a rumor.
DHM: Yeah. A "rumor".
OGMSJ: ...are we there yet?
DM: Oh yeah, IXL is the only place around here for miles. Sort of like West Des Moines, without the Chili's.
OGMSJ: Would you STOP making fun of West Des Moines?
DM: No.
OGMSJ: Fine. *pout* Then I'll just pout until you stop.
DHM: Ah, don' do tha' Shannon. I can' stan' when girls pout.
*Shawn continues pouting*
DM: Don't give in, Mags.
*Pouting*
DHM: Ok fine! I wi' not make fun o' West Des Moines e'er agin'.
OGSMJ: Now I know why you don't promo.
DHM: An' why is that?
OGMSJ: Because typing your accent out is incredibly difficult. At least you know what you're trying to sound like. God bless Davin for trying.
DHM: Well, le's not bless 'im too much. I've got a receipt 'ere that I need t' cash.
DM: On who?
DHM: On you, big man.
OGMSJ: ...
DHM: ...
DM: K. I hereby dedicate my match with you on Wednesday to Harper Michelle "Mickie" Moreland.
DHM: Now tha' tha's jus' not fair, Davin. Firs' the pizza rolls go' hi-jacked, an' now yer dedicatin' yer match to yer daughter? Tha's just unfair, mean an' wrong.
DM: I'll make you a deal. You don't intentionally cripple me in our match on Wednesday.
OGMSJ: ...
DHM: ...
DM: ...
DHM: Usually a "deal" has a l'il incentive, y'know? I don' intentionally cripple you an' in return I get...
DM: ...
DHM: ...
DM: *pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to Mags* You get this.
DHM: *clears his throat as he reads* This...this is an endorsement deal.
DM: It is. Read it for the camera.
DHM: It's a one-year contract with Totino's. It's a deal to be th' company's primary spokesman for one full year. Wow, $5,000 a week?
DM: Keep reading.
DHM: ...an'...wait...this can' be right?
DM: It's right.
DHM: A lifetime supply o' Totino's Pizza Rolls, includin' a guarantee o' fresh, hot pizza rolls a' ev'ry venue, regardless o' my jobbin' or not!
DM: You'll never run out.
DHM: EVER!
DM: So, you'll do it?
DHM: I dunno...$5,000 is a lot o' bucks. I mean, I can' give most o' that to th' animal shelters-
DM: Keep reading.
DHM: Totino's pledges t' match Magnusson's weekly salary with an equiv'lent donation to the ASPCA...wait, really?
DM: Really.
DHM: So $5,000 a week t' me...AN' to the ASPCA...AN' Pizza Rolls?
DM: That's what I had them write up.
DHM: ...
DM: ...
DHM: So y' think I'm gonna lie down for ya, huh? Jus' like that?
DM: No. You're just going to wrestle me. May the best man win.
DHM: Well, tha's me.
DM: So be it. Leave your chain at home.
DHM: 'S only fair, I s'pose. You left yours a' home.
DM: Nice.
OGMSJ: So what do you guys make of Crusher?
DHM: Depends which way th' wind's-a-blowin'. Today it was how he wa'n't gon' let Packers an' Gophers fans beat him. Also, some ramblin' about college hockey. Y'know, it's bad enough when they talk abou' that kickball an' stuff, but College Hockey?
DM: Someone has to watch it.
DHM: "No Packers or Gophers fan is e'er gon' lay a hand on it". His belt. Tha's what he said. I'll give him credit though. At least he says SOMETHING.
OGMSJ: That's funny.
DHM: Wha's funny, Shannon?
OGMSJ: No Packers or Gophers fan is ever going to lay a hand on it. So, by that logic, any Patriots fan could just come and take it.
DHM: Or Red Sox fan. Or Celtics fan.
DM: So you guys want me to cut a promo on Crusher?
OGMSJ: Come on, you know it would make his whole week. I bet he'll even tweet about it.
DM: Ok, fine, but only a short one.
OGMSJ: Yay!
DM: Crusher, you've got your priorities wrong and your eyes out of focus. You're not going to let a Packers or Gophers fan lay a hand on your title? That's very noble of you, Fulton. Here's the problem. That means that I can just walk in and take that belt from you whenever I want, and then laugh as you try to convince people that letting me take that belt would be the best possible thing for your career.
DM: Let's face facts, Fulton. The Twins had David Ortiz. The Red Sox decided they wanted him, took him, and made him into a borderline Hall of Famer They won 2 rings with him. The Timberwolves had Kevin Garnett - lock Hall of Famer and one of the best players in the game. The Celtics decided they wanted him. So they took him. And won a championship with him. The Vikings had Randy Moss. They couldn't handle his greatness, so they shipped him to Oakland. The Patriots decided they wanted him. So they took him. He set records. Then they decided they were done with him, so they, wait for it, TRADED HIM BACK TO MINNESOTA!
DM: Moral of the story is this, Fulton. You hold that belt well. You claim to take on all comers, and you taunt those that are unsuccessful in taking it from you. But for real? For REAL real? I'm Davin Moreland. If I want that belt from you; I will simply take it. And you will thank me for taking it, giving you the opportunity to clear cap room and rebuild.
OGMSJ: Wow, really?
DM: Sometimes that just how OOWF go.
DHM: Ron Washin't'n. One-a my favorites.
*They pull up to where the arena is supposed to be*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:26:58 GMT -5
GM Selena is WALKING~ through the OOWF tent camp at I.X.L. when a random SFJ (let's call her Danielle) runs up to her.
SFJD: Selena!
GMSa-T: Wow, you can smell the skank even over the truck fumes.
SFJD: *out of breath* Phone...for you...
GMSa-T: I don't want your phone or to talk to your little sister or whoever is on there!
SFJD: *still out of breath* No...I was working...at the call center...This guy...called for you.
GMSa-T: Who is it? What's he want? And why is he calling you??
SFJD: *catching her breath* He said he...got my number off a bathroom stall...that said "For fun in OOWF, call 703 555-1563.
Selena laughs.
GMSa-T: Nice. You're a slut AND a skank.
SFJD: He said his name is Phillip. That's all I know.
Selena begrudgingly takes the phone.
GMSa-T: Hello?...Yes this is the General Manager...awww, thank you, you're so sweet...really?...are you serious?...un uh!...no way...okay, I'll look into it...awesome.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:27:42 GMT -5
CUT to the aforementioned picnic table. Still sitting there and reading is The Crusher Stan Fulton. Martha's still nearby.
MR: "Did you see that Davin promoed on you?"
SF: "Really? Really? Really."
MR: "Miz's line. Stop it."
SF: "Let's see it."
Rodriguez turns her Apple iPad2 towards Fulton and plays the portions of Davin's promo that mention Fulton. Fulton watches and then, when it's over goes back to reading his book.
MR: "That's it?"
SF: "What? Davin's having a hard time staying relevant. His quote-unquote feud with Moose died on the vine, his claim as the only six-pack champion is dead and buried and his t-shirt sales are slipping."
MR: "How do you know that?"
SF: "I'm friends with the OOWFShop.com webmaster. He gets a look at the sales figures. Stank, BKK and, crazy as it sounds, Justin Sane's sales are up; Davin, Texpress, Sparxx are down. Psycle, CC Scott and Westgaard's are minimal. The rest are flat or movement is small enough to not matter.
"Davin's coaster sets and beach towels are doing well though."
MR: "I know. I'm using them now."
SF: "Guess people like putting stuff, like beer bottles and sweaty asses on Davin's face. Anyway, I'm not facing Davin nor Maggs this week. So either he's trying to start a feud with me or trying to give me the bump. As a multiple championship title holder, I don't need the bump so that leaves trying to start something."
MR: "So your Twitter account?"
SF: "Is pretty much dead. Most of the OOWF stopped using it once Juni wasn't around to push its use. And the only followers I have are other OOWF members. So, kind of useless."
MR: "Which begs the question: are you going to do anything about his promo?"
SF: "Other than mention it in this promo? Nope."
Kayfabe starts over from the other side of the intersection, but collapses in the heat about thirty feet short of Fulton's bench.
SF: "That's so sad. She really shouldn't wear the ninja costume in this sun and heat."
MR: "We should call medical."
SF: "We should."
MR: ". . ."
SF: ". . ."
MR: ". . ."
SF: "I will say this, Davin. Your logic is as terrible as your promos are getting. Just because I won't let that slimy Packer fan or dumbass Gopher fan get my belt doesn't automatically mean other fans can. That's like saying since you don't like me or Moose you then like everyone else. Piss poor logic. Piss poor promo.
"Guess once the shine wears off, everything else goes downhill. And as long in the tooth as you're getting Davs, I don't give your claims much merit. I will say that I've heard recent fatherhood does make some men act like they have dementia, so we'll just put it down to that.
"Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, by the way. She is very beautiful; like her mother. I'm sure she'll bring you much joy..."
Fulton starts to chuckle and finally long, loud laughs burst forth.
SF: "Oh, who am I kidding. She'll grow up to hate you and believe you're evil incarnate. She'll resent every rule you ever impose on her and believe you're dumb as a post. She'll shave her head and put piercings in places you didn't think could be pierced. She'll dye her hair, fingernails and eyebrows black and smoke pot behind the school.
"I am truthful when I say she's beautiful. Most babies are. And I do believe when you married Samantha you, as they say, outkicked your coverage.
"Good luck staying relevant, Davin. And enjoy the pain."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:28:08 GMT -5
Mai Muyo is sitting in the pews of the Pleasant Hill AME Church in IXL, Oklahoma. As far as I can tell, it's the only place to go to.
Mai: (flipping through a Bible) "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Could be the motto of the AME church.
Mai returns to reading for a moment
Mai: Oh, I'm sorry. Were you expecting a promo? I'm afraid that I might not have very much to say.
Last week, I asked Jack a very direct question. I asked him why he hated his father so much, so beyond how much he hates others who have done wrong by him and his loved ones. I know it's a really personal question, and it might be out of line--but it's something I need to know to understand him.
He dodged the question. We wrestled, I won, he lashed out and walked away, still no answer. Just the same old Moosehead Jack script.
Jack Quinn, you're tired of this movie and so am I. You want to tell Lucas who you're hallucinating that all the voices in your head represent? Come tell us all. Come tell me why you hate in the way you do, even if it seems irrational and stupid, because I need it to help you.
Let me be clear, Jack, this is not Messiah Complex. I'm perfectly happy to let anyone else help you. Perfectly happy to see you help yourself and tell me to fuck off. But stop pretending you're beyond help. Deny you're rich all you want, but you have the resources and support structure to give you normalcy, to give you happiness--not schadenfreude, not sadistic pleasure, just actual contentedness. Scoff at it all you want, but it's what you want on some level, isn't it? I mean, what else could it be that was denied you so long ago?
Don't like where I'm going with this? Think I'm off the mark? Then answer my question.
So what's up this week in our little scuffle? This week, I'm teaming with JP Sparxx--who I'm really excited about teaming with, even if he's not--to take on you and Psykle. Honestly, Jack, I'd take a good look at Psykle if I were you. He's not so bad a guy, but he has serious disturbance issues he understands he needs help with. Unfortunately, I think he's seeking help from the wrong person. A person who mocks God while giving himself a name touting his own intelligence...that's someone too broken to serve others, just as my brother could not serve when his humility was lost.
Jack, you believe your brokenness will keep you strong. It will not, it will make you weak. You shouldn't have lost to me in that Onslaught Match, Jack--but your consuming hatred and evil intent is weakening your ability to operate in different modes. You see that happening and you're trying to shift. Great. But do so seriously, not with a wink and a nod and a "I'll be right back, voices." Because when it consumes you fully, breaks you down--as your sister was once broken down--in that moment, any self-proclaimed prophet, any so-called therapist, they'll all sound just a little too good.
The next step is forgiveness, Jack. Forgiveness is what relieves the hatred and the pain. But to talk you through this--even just as the annoying sister of a former friend--I need to know what you're forgiving.
So let's talk.
The lines are open.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:28:48 GMT -5
~~~ We fade to the parking lot of the Oklahoma City Airport. Chad Madison, Zane Myers & Bridgette are walking towards Zane’s 1965 Mustang. ~~~
Chad: You know, one of these trips we really should fly first class. Just once. Just to know what it feels like.
Zane: Why? We get there just as fast.
Chad: You didn’t have the crying baby behind you the entire time.
Zane: For Pete’s sake, it was a little over an hour. Not as if we flew from across the globe like that.
Chad: Still.
~~~ They load their bags in the trunk and climb in. ~~~
Bridgette: Well, this is it. Big night ahead of us.
Chad: We know.
Zane: We’re ready.
Bridgette: I know. I’m just worried. Eric and company never always seem to slither out of these kind of things.
Zane: That’s something we have discussed. We’re fully aware that the odds are in their favor when it comes to this match. We could go out there, put on the match of the year, blow the roof off the place, and still be forced to split up. There are things in this business that are out of your control. Tonight we are going out there and controlling the things we have the power to. If tonight Is our last night as a team, we’re going to go out with a BANG.
Bridgette: But, what will we do then?
Chad: Fact is, they can keep us from teaming. They can NOT keep us from being friends, traveling together, working out together, doing things just like we do now. And we both know we will have successful careers as singles. Heck, we both have Championships on our resumes in the short amount of time we’ve spent in singles competition already. We both have what it takes to reach the top of the mountain on our own. We don’t want to have to do it. But we know we can.
~~~ Chad’s Still Unsponsored Cell Phone rings ~~~
Chad: Hello? ...... Yes, we got the fruit basket. ………….. Yes, VERY thoughtful of you. …… Oh? You’re watching this promo live? I didn’t know there were any Ninja-Cams around…….. Yes I know. …………. Well at least we have promoed about the match this week, all I recall you doing was getting lost. ………………. Oh? So it’s a foregone conclusion we’ll be losing tonight and it we aren’t even worth mentioning? Really? ................... Yeah Yeah, The Light The Truth..Blah Blah…….. You know, you keep claiming you’re such a great wrestler, a Hall-of-Famer in waiting, yet I’ve YET to see you act like it in the ring …………….. I’m just saying prove it tonight, no cheating, no tricks. ……………… Oh Yeah? The only way you’ll be coming out on top tonight is with Lauren on her back. How is it getting my sloppy seconds anyway? Hello? Hello? (Ends call)
Zane: (almost laughing) Antagonizing the enemy. Not the soundest of strategies.
Chad: But fun.
~~~ Bridgette giggles as we fade to black ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:29:18 GMT -5
*Stank is sitting in the air conditioned catering tent. He has his laptop out and is voting for Christy Hemme in the Ultimate Female Showdown tournament just as Firewoman and Alexander Darling walk in and head over to the counter to pick up a quick breakfast. Stank looks up and speaks loud enough for Alex to hear.*
Stank - YO! Alex! You gonna promo anytime soon man? HEY! YO!
*Alex ignores Stank as the chef prepares his omelette. Fire starts a complicated coffee order when Stank speaks again.*
Stank - REALLY? You ignoring me? HEY! ALEX! C'MON man Mayhem is tonight! You think because I beat your ass the last time we fought that I'm satisfied? You think we're over? You think I'm done with you? YO! ALEX!
*Alex continues to ignore Stank while he scoops diced tomatoes on top of his omelette.*
Stank - YO! Alex! You got to give me SOMETHING to work with here! PROMO you BASTARD! SAY SOMETHING! You stand over there with your stupid omelette and your cream cheese bagel you make me SICK Alex! HUH? You hear THAT? You fuckin douche I oughta walk over there and give you a fist sandwich!
*At this point Firewoman turns her head and looks at Stank.*
Stank - BUT I'M NOT! Out of respect for your wife, I won't beat the shit out of you for now, you fuckin omelette eatin... *Stank pulls his plate with a half eaten omelette down to his side and out of sight*... bagel humpin, no promoing, sorry ass, son of a bitch. HEY! You HEAR ME? YO!
*Alex walks over to the juice section and continues to ignore Stank as he looks over his choices with his back turned to Stank.*
Stank - Fuckin asshole. YOU GOT NOTHIN to SAY? HUH? You're no betta than friggin Chris the Peacock Evans!
*Alex stands up straight and looks at the tent wall in front of him but does not turn around.*
Stank - Oh! That got your attention didn't it? Yeah! You. Are. Chris. Evans.
AD - FUCK YOU STANK!
Stank - Ah... there it is. So... is that your promo? Fuck you Stank? Okay. It's a start. I'll go now. I'll find me a sexy female journalist with an OOWF banner and give you my response.
*Stank rises to his feet, scarfs down the rest of his omelette, picks up his laptop, and calmly walks towards the exit. Before he leaves he calls back over his shoulder.*
Stank - I hope Maria Kanellis wins the whole female tournament.
*That's it! Alex has heard enough! He throws down his plate in rage and turns to face Stank, but the big man has left. He starts to go after him, but he catches himself and breaths in and out slowly to calm himself down, refusing to let Stank get to him. He calmly picks up his plate and turns to throw it in the trash when the look in the eyes of his wife catches his attention.*
Alex - Honey?
*Firewoman throws down her cup of coffee and trembles with rage staring at the exit where Stank just left.*
FW - Maria the Diva Search LOSER?? I'll KILL HIM!
Camera fades
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:29:50 GMT -5
Firewoman has come back from her morning run, without Stank, since who knows where that friendship is. Anyway, she looks out over the fields as Lucky comes up with her water and towel.
L: So, you have to--
FW: Look....over there....there's a bright golden haze on the meadow.
L: Huh?
FW: There's a bright golden haze on the meadow. And that corn is as high as an elephant's eye, And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky.
L: Um....
FW: *taking a big drink of water and a happy sounding sigh* What a beautiful morning, Lucky. What a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going MY way.
L: Do you know you are speaking in rhyme?
FW: Look! All the cattle are standing like statues.
L: Fire...
FW: All the cattle are standing like statues. They don't turn their heads as they see me [run] by, but a little brown maverick is winking her eye.
L: You aren't talking Sarah Palin right?
FW: *now actually singing* Oh what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going MY way.
L: Saaaaay, did Dr. Freedman adjust your meds?
FW: All the sounds of the earth are like music, All the sounds of the earth are like music, The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree, And an ol' Weepin' Willer is laughin' at me.
Lucky takes out his phone and starts dialing.
FW: Oh what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going MY..... hey.... who are you calling?
L: Your husband. I think you are taking too many of one thing and not enough of another, and .... --
FW: Oh AWESOME! While we were in Aruba we talked about settling down after we retire and
[We] couldn't pick a better time as that in life It ain't too early and it ain't too late Startin' as a farmer with a brand new wife Soon'll be livin' in a brand new state
Brand new state!
A couple of farmers overhear and come over to extol the virtues of the area.
Farmer1: Brand new state, gonna treat you great! Farmer2:Gonna give you barley, carrots and pertaters, F1: Pasture fer the cattle, F2: Spinach and termayters! F1: Flowers on the prarie where the June bugs zoom, F2: Plen'y of air and plen'y of room, F1&2: Plen'y of room to swing a rope! Plen'y of heart and plen'y of hope.
L: *into the phone* Yeah, Alex...Fire is ... singing....and wanting to be a farmer's wife....I think it's the heat maybe or....
FW: OOOOOOOOOOOOh Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet When the wind comes right behind the rain. Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk Makin' lazy circles in the sky.
We know we belong to the land And the land we belong to is grand! And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We're only sayin' You're doin' fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma O.K.
Suddenly Chad and Zane appear, in full cowboy regalia and start singing.
CM/ZM: OOOOOOOOOOh Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet When the wind comes right behind the rain. Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk Makin' lazy circles in the sky.
CM/ZM/FW/F1/F2: We know we belong to the land And the land we belong to is grand! And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We're only sayin' You're doin' fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma O.K.
Some of the crew hear this all and join in. Since they're locals, they're all ready dressed like cowboys and stuff.
Crew/F1/F2: Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla...
FW: We know we belong to the land
CM/ZM: And the land we belong to is grand!
All: And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We're only sayin' You're doin' fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma O.K. L - A - H - O - M - A OKLAHOMA! Yeeow!
CM: Huh....that was weird.
ZM: I know......
As in all musicals, everyone goes back to what they were doing before without any acknowledgement they all broke out into song. Alexander Darling walks up, whispers back and forth to Lucky and then walks over to Firewoman. He gives Chad a look as he walks away.
AD: Haven't we discussed this?
FW: Nothing happened...I just felt like singing and dancing.
AD: Yeah, but--
FW: Okay, you're right...I know...it's just....
It ain't so much a question of not knowing what to do. I knowed what's right and wrong since I was ten.
AD: Um...
L: Yeah, it started like that before...
FW: I heared a lot of stories and I reckon they are true About how girls're put upon by men. I know I mustn't fall into the pit, But when I'm with a feller, I fergit! I'm just a girl who cain't say no, I'm in a terrible fix I always say "come on, let's go!" Jist when I orta say nix...
AD: "Jist?"
FW: Is it hot out here?
AD: A little....let's go in the AC for a bit okay?
FW: Okay.
AD: Lucky, can you please call--
L: Dialing Dr. Freedman now.
copyright 1943 Williamson Music. Music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:30:22 GMT -5
*Eric O'Mac and Bryce Larson - the OOWF World Tag Team Champions - are standing in the middle of the ring...which is sitting in the middle of an intersection in IXL, Oklahoma.*
Eric: For those of you here in IXL watching this promo....you can drive around. We haven't put up the seats yet.
Bryce: But we're sure that our opponents are watching, or they will see this. And if not, they need to listen up. You see, all they've done, in the past few weeks is question us. Underestimate us.
Eric: They talk more shit than my Dad did in March of 2001. And that's saying a lot.
Bryce: For all of their "face" like qualities, they picked up a good heel one - arrogance.
Eric: You see, their arrogance will be their undoing. Far as I can see? They've done NOTHING to earn a title shot. But here we are, giving them one last title shot. And it WILL be their last title shot, because after tonight, they will NOT be able to team again in the OOWF.
Bryce: They think they are special. They are the measuring stick. But from what I've seen over the past few months? They are unworthy of being in the ring with us.
Eric: If the math was done correctly, today is the 154th day of our title reign. One day away from reaching the record of 155 days as champions and making history. You see, as Bryce and I sat on a cruise boat to Antarctica a couple of months ago, I told him we were going to make history. And tonight? We're going to make it happen.
Bryce: You can diss us all you want. You can talk about our methods. You can disagree with how we do things. The fact is - the way we do things are effective.
Eric: And the fact is, you can claim not to see it - but you are looking at a living legend, a future without of a doubt Hall of Famer...and you need to respect that fact.
Bryce: So tonight, when we are in that ring, you will know that you are in the ring with the best. You may have been the best at one time, but your days have past you by, and you'll be nothing but a memory by tomorrow.
Eric: That's right Texpress. We WILL be victorious, and we WILL end your tag team career...because I am the way...I am the truth...and I am the White Knight.....and you two are no longer going to be in the spotlight.
*Fade out.*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:30:54 GMT -5
*Backstage interview area*
Spencer: I'm here with the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Alexander Darling.
Alexander: Yes you are.
Spencer: Big match tonight with Stank and Chris Evans.
Alexander: Yes it is.
Spencer: Any comments on it?
Alexander: Evans is a gnat that just won't go away. Sooner or later he'll realize he's not ready for this level of competition and he'll slink back to the Intercontinental or Onslaught division or maybe he'll join one of his buddies and go after the tag belts, but he's not a World Champion.
Spencer: Which implies your other opponent is on that level?
Alexander: That goes without saying. See, Stank is a whole other ballgame. One of the so-called OOWF mountains to climb. Being World Champion is one mountain but establishing that championship among the very best is the peak. For a change I've decided to be rather quiet about things because what else needs to be said. Stank and I are diametrically opposed forces. Good vs. Evil. Bad guy vs. good guy. Light vs. Dark. A man striving to be the best man he can be vs. a man being forced to be the worst man he could be. Does the end justify the means? That's what Stank and I fight for. The World Championship is the symbol of the fight, but it goes much deeper than that.
Spencer: What is it you expect from this battle with Stank?
Alexander: Something quite simple, Spence. I expect to win. I expect to prove that the changes I've undergone have been worth it. I expect that I'm going to cement myself in the pantheon of the OOWF. In short, I expect to prove that I am Alexander Darling, and Stank, well he just isn't.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:31:22 GMT -5
Stank, LD Williams, and Moose are sitting at the only bar in I.X.L. Bartender: You all ain't from around here, are ya.... LDW: Nope. BT: Well, where you from? S: We come from many places, but really we just travel around. BT: Well, where'd ya come from last? LDW: Kansas City. BT: REALLY!! Jumpin' Jehosaphat! I've always wanted to go to Kansas City. He sets three glasses down and a bottle.BT: Drinks are on the house, if you tell me all about it. MHJ: We weren't in Kansas City. Stank: The man just handed us free whiskey. MHJ: Kansas City it is. The three shrug, and each take a shot as the music begins. They look at each other and....LDW: I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y By Sattidy I larned a thing or two For up to then I didn't have an idy Of whut the modren world was comin' to! I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's Almost ev'ry time I tuk a walk. 'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone and a strange womern started in to talk! BT: Whut next! Yeak whut! Whut next? Stank: Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high, About as high as a buildin' orta grow. Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City, It's better than a magic lantern show! Y' c'n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat. With ev'ry kind o' comfort ev'ry house is all complete. You c'n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go, BT/LDW: Yes sir! MHJ: They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They got a big theayter they call a burlesque. Fer fifty cents you c'n see a dandy show. One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty, As round above as she was round below. I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel, But latter in the second act when she began to peel She proved that ev'rythin' she had was absolutely real! She went about as fur as she could go, BT/LD/Stank: Yes sir! MHJ: She went about as fur as she could go! Insert dance number that looks a lot like this at about 4:35 www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZpHkbMi-SA MHJ/LD/Stank: They've gone about as fur ... as... they... c'n....GOOOOOOOOOOO! Moose, stank, and LD sit down and go back to their drinks. The Bartender goes back to cleaning his glasses.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:31:57 GMT -5
Firewoman is in her office.
L: You did.
FW: I did NOT sing show tunes.
L: You did...here...
He replays the aforementioned promo.
FW: Gods...
L: Yeah. Dr. Sid said if we cut this one down by about 1/3 it should be good.
FW: Awesome.
L: Look...your match is in like hours, and you've not...
The OOWF Banner drops down.
FW: Okay....
L: Firewoman, you've been fairly silent about Attitude Adjuster's return and his attack on you. Now you are meeting him for the first time in several years in the ring tonight.
FW: Well, I do have some comments about that. Now, Attitude Adjuster has come back to 'end my career.' And I'm sure he's looking around, and he sees a very different Firewoman. One who has less rage, less ambition....she's made it, she no longer has anything to prove. she married, she's been promoted, she's on her meds, she's happy.....and he may be thinking that this will be a walk in the park.
Well, I have news for you, AA. It's true...I'm not that driven, hungry rookie that you once knew. Now I have things to protect. I have my achievements, my accomplishments, my reputation. And that makes me every bit as dangerous as I used to be.
As far as 'ending my career,' well, many have tried. Let's review. Poe is retired, soon after our match, in fact. Eco is in a straight jacket. Tytan got the closest, sending me to meet the Grim Reaper himself, and he's nothing more than a lackey now. And really, once someone has faced death itself, what more is there to fear? Certainly not you, a washed up has-been returning to try and grasp on to their former glory, or at least cash in a quick pay check to pay a few bills.
And let's look at our record. I've both out-wrestled you AND out-smarted you, Baby Daddy. So you wanna step up and try it again? Go right ahead. I'm not nearly as soft as you think. So get in the ring. Bring all your chickenshit tricks. I'll be waiting.
And beating you AGAIN will TOTALLY sparkle with me.
[FADE]
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 18:32:26 GMT -5
*Stank finds SFJ#5 and an OOWF banner drops down out of nowhere.*
SFJ#5 - Stank! Wow um...
*Stank takes the mic from SFJ#5 and shoves her aside.*
Stank - Thanks for the banner Isabella, now scram!
SFJ#5 - But..
Stank - I SAID BEAT IT!
*SFJ#5 leaves.*
Stank - Fuck me Alex? NO! Fuck YOU!
*Stank drops the mic and walks off camera. A moment later he is pushed back in frame by SFJ#5. She bends down and picks up the microphone, as Stank shrugs his shoulders in wonderment.*
SFJ#5 - Alexander Darling has cut a promo since you last saw him, vato.
Stank - Huh?
SFJ#5 - Si. While you were doing your song and dance with Senor Jack and Senor Williams, Alex did an interview.
Stank - What the fuck are you talking about? What song and dance?
*SFJ#5 replays the dance number from the second Oklahoma promo of the day.*
Stank - Dear God.
SFJ#5 - Si. You have a nice singing voice.
Stank - Thank you. Play Alex's promo.
*SFJ#5 plays Alexander Darling's promo.*
Stank - Huh? So he expects to win. You know what I expect?
SFJ#5 - Que?
Stank - I expect the blood of my trust to respect the... uh... what?
*The camera pans over to Moosehead Jack holding Stank's cue card.*
Stank - Seriuosly Jack?
MHJ - What?
Stank - I'm not saying that.
MHJ - I thought you could use some help.
Stank - Since when have I needed help cutting a promo?
*Attitude Adjuster walks into frame. He glares at Stank with his fists clenched down by his sides . Without saying a word he simply walks away.*
Stank - Nice to see you too, Alan.
MHJ - Has he lost weight?
Stank - Looks like it. Anyway... yeah.. what's up with the cue cards? This isn't you.
MHJ - I'm running this show.
Stank - But Selena is back.
MHJ - Yeah but I'm still running this show.
Stank - How...
MHJ - Don't poke the tiger Stank.
Stank - ...
MHJ - ...
SFJ#5 - ... Uh excuse me?
Stank - What?
SFJ#5 - I'm still waiting for you to answer the question.
Stank - I'm sorry. What question?
SFJ#5 - What do you expect from your match tonight?
Stank - Oh... uh... I expect to win.
SFJ#5 - That's what the World Champion said.
Stank - Oh shit. And I'm not Alexander Darling... uh... I expect to bleed him dry.
MHJ - goddamn right. That's what I'm saying.
Stank - Whoa wait... I wil hit him so hard... that I will hit him... hard.
MHJ - No. No. That's all wrong.
Stank - You ain't kiddin. What the fuck is wrong with me? Stupid Firewoman and her stupid showtunes. I'm still discombobulated!
*A deeply tanned Kayfabe angrily makes her way over.*
Stank - Damn Kay. You're darker than me.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 19:05:21 GMT -5
*Davin looks DEJECTED~! sitting in front of a random wall with a mic in his hand* DM: Ok, so it's like this. Mags? What the fuck, man? I've done everything I can possibly do. I've mentioned you in at least 2 promos. Hell, I PUT you in a promo, with your stupid accent and everything. DM: I mentioned the whole "animal shelter" thing. DM: I've said lots and lots of nice things about Mags. DM: I've threatened to hi-jack all the pizza rolls from the catering table for Mayhem. DM: I've offered you a lucrative endorsement contract FOR pizza rolls. DM: Mentioned you, put you over, mentioned you, put you over...you know I've done more for you in one week than I have for Crusher's entire career. You know that? DM: And how do you repay me? DH Magnusson/Karmic: ... DM: I'm sorry, what was that? DH Magnusson/Karmic: ... DM: Oh, right. YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING PROMO! DH Magnusson/Karmic: ... DM: So, you leave me no choice. Since singing and dancing is the order of the day; I am hereby proclaiming the following to be completely and totally un-no-sellable, by the power vested in me by the avenue of Electric...I present to you...the one...the only...DH Magnusson performing his favorite song...EVAR! *We see a glammed-up 80s-style DH Magnusson in front on a blue screen playing this video. He starts singing, dancing and air-guitaring.* Look in the mirror girl, by now you should know... You're living in a fantasy, and you can't let go... He never really loved you from the start, The only thing he ever gave you was a broken heart. Don't be afraid to lose.... hat was never meant to be... WOAAAAAAAAAAHHHH After the rain...washes away the tears...and all the pain. Only after the rain... Can you live again!!!!!!!! I know the emptiness...you feel inside... You're thinking if you break away, you'll never survive. I'm waiting as my heart...beats...just for you Come on and take my hand and I'll pull you through But things will never change....until you want them to... WOOAH---OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!! After the rain...washes away the tears...and all the pain. O-OHHHHHHnly after the rain... Can you live again!!!! WOOAH-OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! After the rain...you'll see the sun appear...to light the way... O-OHHHHHnly after the rain... Can you HOPE TO FIND TRUE LOVE AGAAAAAAAIN!!!!! *Kickass Air-guitar solo* He never really loved...you...from the start. The only thing he ever gave you was a broken heart. Come on and take my hand, and I'll pull you through... You know the time has come for you to face the truuuuuuuuuuth... After the rain...washes away the tears...and all the pain... O-OHHHHHHHHnly after the rain.... Can you live again!!!! WOOOOOAH--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!! *Suddenly Mags is joined by Matt Folz, Chris Evans, Bryce Larson, The Dead, and numerous other OOWF Wrestlers, past and present, who were inexplicably pushed without having to ever fucking promo. They're singing back up.* After the rain (AFFFFFTEEEEEEEEERRRRR THE RAIIIIIIIINN) You'll see the sun appear...to light the way... Only after the rain Can you hope to find true love agaiiiiiiiiiiiin!! *More air guitar* After the rain (AFFFFFFTEEEEEEEER THE RAAAAAAIIIIN) WOOOOOOOOOOOAH-OHHHHHHHH!!! etc. etc. etc. *They're done now* DM: Seriously. You guys suck ass. *fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 27, 2011 19:16:27 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From IXL, Oklahoma DAVIN MORELAND vs. DH MAGNUSSONThe two share a handshake to start the match, then proceed to put on a mat classic. There is just the right amount of brawling, wrestling, suspense and drama to whet the fans appetite. Each man gets several near falls as the time pushes past 15 minutes. Davin tries a Dolphin Kick, misses, and lands on his injured knee a little awkwardly. DH swoops in and works the knee for a bit and gets several two counts, and traps Davin in a figure four and almost gets Davin to tap, but he reaches the ropes. The match continues, and at about the 25 minute mark, DH grabs Davin for Dream Street, but Davin blocks it, spins DH around and kicks him in the gut, and hits the HELLEVATOR! Davin covers, hooks the leg hard and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 25:27 – Davin MorelandAfter the match, the two men shake hands, DH raises Davin’s arm in victory and they head to the back together. FIREWOMAN vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTERAttitude Adjuster comes out first and the crowd boos loudly. Fire is announced and races down the street to where the ring is set up (we are in the intersection in IXL, the ONLY intersection). Fire hits the ring and she and AA tear into one another. The match quickly spills out of the ring and into the temporary stands set up around the intersection. Fire has a look in her eyes that screams “murder” while AA is cold and calculating, targeting Fire’s oft-broken ribs, and landing several hard shots to her recently concussed head. The match never really has a chance to be an actual match, and when it becomes clearly obvious that the two of them are more interested in causing as much bodily harm as possible the referee throws his hands in the air and throws it out, then immediately summons the IXL police force to subdue them. When those two fail, the IXL High School Varsity Football Team is called in and they manage to subdue them long enough to be escorted to the back. WINNER – No Contest *sigh* J-P SPARXX & MAI MUYO vs. PSYKLE & MOOSEHEAD JACK – Onslaught Rules Tag Match - El Lobo Sangriento Special Guest RefereeSangriento is announced first and comes out wearing an Official OOWF Referee Shirt. Sparxx and Mai are announced and get cheers, Moose and Psykle are announced next and get booed. Moose tries to attack Mai from behind, but she takes him to the mat with a leg sweep. The match continues on and is remarkably clean for a match involving Moose. Moose does use up his three referee warnings, and has some choice words for Lobo, but he and Psykle work fairly well as a team, keeping the faster and higher flying Sparxx and Muyo grounded for most of the match. Sparxx and Muyo get some offense in late and land some double team moves on Psykle, but they can’t keep him down. Mai tries a high risk move and gets DRIVEN to the mat by Psykle with a PSYKLE BOMB! He tags Moose in, Moose comes in and locks Mai in the ji-endo, Mai can’t make the ropes and is forced to tap out. WINNERS in 14:44 – Psykle & Moosehead Jack (shocking) NIGHT MARCHERS vs. REGICIDE vs. DRINK & DESTROY - #1 Contenders MatchAfter we are done with all the introductions, the match begins, and the Night Marchers show a brutal side that we hadn’t seen in awhile. They tear into both members of Regicide – which is to be expected – but then they also show no mercy to Drink & Destroy either. Regicide slow them down with some well placed shots behind the referees back and take control of the match keeping D&D out of it. Kai finally makes the tag to Danny Taylor and he comes in and cleans house. D&D keep Tytan reeling with double team moves, but as Jack is going for the CHOMP LD Williams breaks it up and KILLS him with a CANADIAN DESTROYER! Before LD can cover, Aina slaps him on the back tagging himself in, and Kai grabs LD from behind and throws him out of the ring to the floor, they hit the MOLOKAI COCKTAIL and get the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 19:54 – Night MarchersSTAN FULTON vs. MATT FOLZ vs. JW WESTGAARD – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchAll three are in the ring, the bell rings and the match begins. Fulton and Westgaard go toe to toe in the middle of the ring and trade punches. Folz just stands in the corner and watches events unfold. Fulton catches JWW with a black hole slam and covers, but Folz explodes out of the corner and makes the save. Folz works on Westgaard, and for a brief moment, Fulton and Folz resume their former tag team greatness and beat the shit out of JWW, but then Fulton turns on Folz and KILLS him with an avalanche in the corner. Folz recovers and works Fulton’s knee for a bit and traps the champ in an ankle lock and nearly gets the win, but Westgaard comes back into the ring and breaks it up. Fulton powders out and Folz and Westgaard brawl in the ring, Westgaard slips out of an OLYMPIC SLAM and catches Folz with an ICE AUGER but Fulton comes back into the ring, grabs Westgaard and throws him out of the ring, nails Folz with a DROPLINE and gets the one two three! WINNER in 16:01 – and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Stan FultonALEXANDER DARLING vs. CHRIS EVANS vs. STANK – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchEvans and Stank are out first, the champ is announced last and makes his way to the ring. Alex eyes Stank, Stank glares back. Alex spends a little too much time eyeballing Stank and gets POPPED with a super kick from Evans. The match starts and unlike the last match, there is NO team work in this one at all. All three tear into one another, Stank has Alex by the throat in the corner and is HAMMERING him on the face with massive punches, leaving the champ a bloody mess. Evans catches Stank from behind and throws the big man out of the ring and slams him head first into the ring post. Darling recovers enough to catch Evans coming back into the ring and nearly snaps his neck with a BRAINBUSTER! The match is a classic back and forth three way match with too many near falls to count. The end finally comes when Stank blindsides Evans with a clothesline and KILLS him with a TRIPLE POWERBOMB! Stank goes to cover but Alex pulls him off of Evans and catches Stank with several knees to the midsection and sets him up for the DARLING DRIVER! Can Alex get him up? We don’t know because Evans breaks up the move. Alex stands and Evans tries another super kick, but he moves and it catches Stank on the jaw sending him out of the ring. Alex catches a shocked Evans with a DARLING DRIVER, covers and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNER in 37:11 and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Alexander DarlingAlex leaves the ring, but Stank watches him go and yells “YOU STILL CAN’T BEAT ME, PUNK!” Alex snarls with rage and starts back toward the ring, but security cuts him off and escorts him to the back. THE BRASS KNUCKLE KINGS vs. TEXPRESS – OOWF World Tag Team Title vs. Team MatchTexpress is out first and they get a lukewarm ovation at best. They DID have some less than flattering things to say about Oklahoma after all. The Kings are out next, and there is no doubt over what the fans think of them. They are nearly booed out of the buildi…..err……intersection. The referee holds the titles up then calls for the bell and it is underway. Texpress appear to be more focused now than they have ever been and look sharp as a razor. To their credit, BKK is matching them move for move. The crowd is still booing the shit out of BKK, but Texpress has won them over completely. The crowd builds in fervor as the match continues, and holds their breath with every BKK near fall and roars with anticipation with every Texpress near fall. The end almost comes after forty minutes of action when BKK gets the knucks and Larson BLASTS Zane with a glancing shot to the jaw. Zane is down and Larson ditches the knucks, but he has the presence of mind to get his foot on the bottom rope to avoid the three. The end comes when Eric tags in Larson and Bryce climbs to the top rope and tries a high risk move, but Chad moves out of the way. He lunges to the corner and tags in Zane, Zane comes in and lifts Larson up, Chad recovers and POPS Eric with a super kick to the jaw sending him to the floor, then scales the ropes and they hit the TEXAS DEATH SENTENCE! Chad covers, and the fans count along, ONE……TWO……THREE! NEW OOWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! WINNERS in 55:48 and NEW OOWF World Tag Team Champions – TexpressThe faces come out of the locker room and congratulate the champions, the crowd roars their approval when Chad and Zane climb the turnbuckles and pose with the titles. Eric and Larson slink up the ramp, Eric livid about the result. He turns to Larson and snarls at him. We cut back to the celebration for a moment, then fade to black. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Bloodbath in Paradise 4 PPV, Live! July 31st from Paradise Valley, Arizona. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, August 3rd, live from Kobe, Japan
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