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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:46:01 GMT -5
~~~ Fade into wherever Chad Madison is. Chad begins a slow mocking clap ~~~
Chad: Same ol' Davin. Same ol' crap. Enjoy your heel turn. Glad I could help
~~~ He turns and walks off screen.
Fade ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:46:43 GMT -5
*Fade in to a Familiar logo - "Top 10 Frauds of the Week" - We've borrowed Voiceover Guy for the opening. He likes money.*
VG: Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for the Highest Rated segment in OOWF History...Top 10 Frauds of the Week. And now, here are your co-hosts...2 of Davin's Angels...Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson, and Moonbeam O'Callahan! *whispering* You said $50...right?
SDM: *also whispering* Yeah, $50.
VG: American?
SDM: YES! American, now finish up.
VG: Ok, ok. *regular announcer voice* Here they are, Shawn and Moonbeam! *whispering* Aaaand...I'm done...have to go torture Lobo for a while.
OGMSJ: After way too long of a hiatus, welcome back everyone to Top 10 Frauds of the Week. As always, I'm joined by Moonbeam O'Callahan. Hello, Moony.
SFJ420: Hello, Shawn. And now, here's the star of the show, The Greatest of All-Time...Davin Moreland!
DM: *walks out in front of the top 10 board* Ladies. Nice to be back.
SFJ420: So Davin, do you want to check out some viewer mail?
DM: Uh...sure, Moony.
SFJ420: Ok, our first question is from a Darryl Revs, from E. Rutherford, NJ. He writes: Davin, it's impossible to ignore your awesomeness, but I feel you simply don't mention it enough. Perhaps you should make use of a metaphor. For example, you don't just win matches. You're not just awesome. You're not just the Greatest of All-Time...but when the other guy steps into the ring...he's stepping onto Moreland Island. What do you think? Keep being awesome.
DM: I hope you blow your knee out you overrated piece of shit. Anyone would be awesome if they can get away with holding and pass interference on every play. Find a bus, jump in front of it, and die. Thanks in advance. Next?
OGMSJ: Our next letter comes from Chad J. from Foxboro, MA. He writes: Dear Davin. There was a time, not too long ago, when I too was awesome. Not as awesome as you, of course, but still awesome in my own right. Now I suck. I'm useless. I've got undrafted guys starting ahead of me. Any advice?
DM: Retire. Let's move on to the big board!
SFJ420: We've got a surprise for you Davin!
DM: Sweet.
OGMSJ: That's right, helping us present the big board tonight are two people you know very well. That's right, the other half of Davin's Angels...Samantha Moreland and Mickie Moreland!
SM: Hello everyone!
MM: Ba!
DM: Ladies, nice to see you on the program. Let's get to it, shall we?
SM: Absolutely. The #10 fraud of the week is...ECOSYSTEM!
DM: Barely made the list, Junichiro. You know, because you're so not relevant anymore. We put you out, you come back and beat up your sister, and then join up with Fucko? No one's scared of you anymore. Your schtick is almost as tired as "Blood, Respect, Trust Me". Do us all a favor and blow out your knee. Thanks.
SFJ420: The #9 Fraud of the Week is...Eric O'Mac!
DM: Eric, we've known each other a long time, and for whatever reason we're not BFFs. However, that's not important anymore. What's important is that you are ducking ME, and my rightful shot at a title. And don't give me the tournament crap. I'm going to make sure Fulton takes the Shiny off of you, and then I'm going to bring it back home and beat him. Don't worry Stan. I don't need a fingerpoke. I can beat you. I mean, I can beat anyone. I can beat you. I can beat Eric O'Mac. I just want an opportunity. So Eric, do us all a favor and blow out your knee so I don't have to wait anymore. Thanks in advance.
OGMSJ: The #8 Fraud of the week is...Moose Headjack!
DM: Not really much to add here. I'm the better man. I beat him after he ducked me for months, then I pinned him in a tag match, completely embarrassed him on the mic, and he's ducked me ever since. Whatever. Like Cena says, your time is up, my time is now. Do us all a favor and blow out your knee. Then go ahead and blow out your other knee. Then go ahead and blow out that first knee again. Thanks in advance. Next!
SM: The #7 Fraud of the week is...huh...J-P Sparxx!
DM: J, you know I got nothin' but love for you dawg, but I gotta say, the last few months you been doin' nothin' but runnin' that weak-ass shit up in here. Ya heard? Allow me to translate for the suburbanites. J-P, I saw talent in you from the moment you set foot into OOWF. You came in knowing that I, Davin, was the stick to be measured by. As such, I felt it was my obligation, nay, my duty to do everything I could to get you to the top. And I did. And guess what? You ran into some lazy, shitty-ass booking along the way. I agree, you should have been World Champ by now. But you see, you have two choices at that point, when the chips are stacked against you. You can get out in front of it, find every microphone you can, tell the world WHO you are, what you're about - and leave the power that be NO CHOICE but to, as we used to say back in the 90s, "put you on". The other choice was the choice you made. Fade into obscurity. Quit. Oh sure, you show up from time to time when you get bored, but man, NO ONE is going to book you solid until you show the fuck up week after week, day after day, and tell the fucking world just how great you are. They should know that. But I can't do it for you. If I could, I would, man. Like I said. I got nothin' but love fo you. You my dawg, right? So please don't take this the wrong way when I say, do us all a favor and blow out your knee. Not bad, like a forever blow-out, but a little one. You need a wakeup call. Thanks in advance. NEXT!
SFJ420: The #6 Fraud of the Week is...really?....Jewel!
DM: Jewel. Girl, I know you love your man, right? And it used to be that when he got out of line, you were the one that set him straight, right? Always like that? So I gotta know...WHERE YOU AT, GIRL? You should be in his ear 24-7-365 about just what I said before. The world's gotta know about J-P Sparxx. And ain't no one gonna know unless HE tells them. So do us all a favor and blow out your knee. That way, he HAS to pay attention to what you say. Thanks in advance. Deuces. Next, please.
OGMSJ: The #5 Fraud of the Week is...way too low on your list...Chris "Pussyheart" Evans!
DM: For a second...just a brief second there...I thought you grew a set when it came to this New Guard crap. I thought you were on to something. Hell, if I had signed up here a little later; I might have joined the fuck up. But you DROPPED. THE. FUCKING. BALL. I shouldn't be surprised, you know, Chris. I should know by now that when you have to step up to the plate, you're gonna Beltran that shit. This should write itself Chris, and as it stands, only J-P Sparxx is with you. Neither of you have done shit, and he ain't talkin' anymore. So do us all a favor and blow out your knee. Maybe 8 months off will do you some good. Maybe you can come up with 3 or 4 promos in that time. Thanks in advance. Next!
SM: The #4 Fraud of the Week...also too low on your list...The Boston Red Sox!
DM: Meh. It's football season. Knee, blown out, thanks in advance. Next one!
SFJ420: The #3 Fraud of the Week is...wow Davin, also too low on your list...Firewoman!
DM: Every time you promo, I can't help but think of a Telenovela. Every time you wrestle, you lose. Every time you're in the ring with me, I beat you. Used to be you were something special. Now, I don't know if it's the Commissioner thing, or the marriage thing, or whatever disorder you're dealing with today, or what; but right now, you're a JAG. Just another guy, er, girl. You know what would be a really good idea? Maybe you should take a vacation. Or better yet...you should do us all a favor and blow out your knee. Then you can stay away until you get yourself right. Because right now, you're a fucking liability. Thanks in advance. Hit me with the deuce!
OGMSJ: The #2 Fraud of the Week is...no surprise...Alexander Darling!
DM: My favorite brother-in-law. Apologies in advance for your sis and me making an example of you two this week. Maybe you should find a bus. No...maybe you should die in a fire. No...I've got it. You should do us all a favor and blow out your knee. Thanks in advance, Alex. And I'll take it from here ladies. Thank you.
*They step aside and Davin takes off the #1 Fraud of the Week, and the name "Chad Madison" is revealed. The lights dim a little bit, and Davin takes a couple of steps forward and looks directly into the camera*
DM: You still don't get it, do you Chad? This isn't a fucking "heel turn", dummy. This is unfinished business. Part 1 is when you disrespected me by dropping me from your Trios team, in some misguided attempt to, who fucking knows. You add Firewoman, which is such a downgrade...how the fuck am I supposed to take that? I thought you were my brother, Chad. You me and Zane. Together we MADE the Trios Division. The 3 of us. You, me and Zane.
DM: Is it simple hubris, Chad? You figured that you and Zane were tag champs for the millionth time, so you thought you could have ANYONE as a 3rd? Trios doesn't work that way, and you should fucking KNOW that. Trios is all about chemistry. It's about being able to count on BOTH guys next to you when things inevitably break down - and rising above it to win the match. You KNOW that Chad. And yet, and yet you do this to me. You can tell me "nothing personal" all you want; but how else is someone supposed to take it? You essentially dumped me from Run DLP. Our little stable that I helped create, remember? Who was the breakout star then, hmm? When sides were being chosen up in the war, who went to bat for you? It wasn't fucking Firewoman, that's for damned sure. Who protected you? Who made sure you not only wouldn't be left behind, but that you would be a part of the Greatest Stable in the History of the OOWF? I took you WITH me, Chad. I didn't have to. I had to fight to the bitter in. The Darling Twins would have been more than satisfied to have just me join up. I had to negotiate to get you in - but I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever, EVER leave you guys behind. I would ALWAYS be there for you.
DM: And I was. And we were great. And you two became stars in your own right. Two of the biggest stars in the company. When the shit went down in Run DEA - who made sure you two got the Golden Parachute? You didn't have to get your hands dirty, remember? You could just stay the #1 Faces in the OOWF, and the GOAT Tag Team. I mean, you guys didn't do anything wrong when it ended. It was Davin who took the hit. It was Davin who took the flamethrower to the fucking face from your Trios partner. It was Davin who was forever tainted by his actions - even still today. I'm blamed for Run DEA breaking up. It wasn't my fault. There were so many other factors involved. You know that. But I carried it. Hell, I STILL carry it on my shoulders. It's a badge of honor. I may not have always made the right decisions, or done things the Dudley Do-Right way. But everything I have ever done has followed my convictions, and what I felt, and knew, was important to the success of my family. My family, Chad. That included you and Zane before there were Darlings or Quinns or anything fucking else.
DM: It was my duty to protect you. To deflect all the criticism. Davin was out in front. I've been screwed out of title shots. I've been booked as a jobber - not for anything I've done in or out of the ring. Not even for backstage politics. The number one reason is because I did what I did to the wrong people for the right reasons. And you were protected, Chad. You were protected. You're the captain, but I'm the big brother. That's what big brothers do. They defend their younger brothers. They stand up for them, and no matter what, they support them and side with them.
DM: So if that wasn't bad enough, Part 2. Just before our match, you run your mouth on ME. How the fuck dare you? To sit there and tell me just how things are, putting words in MY mouth. What did you expect me to do, Chad? Take it? I'm not going to take that from you. I'm not going to take that from anyone, but even regardless of that - I don't pretend to understand why you dropped me, Chad. Now. After everything I have done, good and especially bad. After everything the three of us have done and been through together. You're going to discard me like yesterday's trash? Last I checked, it's Run DLP, not Run FLP. You didn't even ask, Chad. You never even brought it up to me. It's just, one day I'm there, and the next day I'm nothing. That's how you treat someone you call your brother? Seriously? And before you say anything, I know damned well that Zane and Bridgette had nothing to do with this. Sure, they went along, but what were they supposed to do? You have had this puppy dog shit going on with Firewoman for years now. He knows how crushed you'd be if he said no. And what good are you as a partner if you're psychologically damaged? None. Zane's a smart guy. He worked out the odds, and knew that you're his tag partner. Hell, in the end, he really had no choice.
DM: This isn't on Zane. He bears no responsibility. This is completely and totally on you. YOU set everything in motion. YOU "decided" the Trios team without asking me. YOU made it personal. And in the end, when I had Alexis and a Never-was with me - YOU ended up looking at the lights, courtesy of me. Just like I told you I would. Yeah, I got in your face after. Yeah, I was cocky about it - but you know what? It's no cockier than thinking you can throw away 3, nearly 4 years of history so you can play grab-ass with my cousin. In fact, it's less. Way less. All I wanted was an apology.
DM: But no. Then you had to run your mouth AGAIN on me. Acting like you're so fucking morally superior to me, that I don't even deserve a response. Like I'm a fucking nobody to you? Like I'm just some piece of dogshit you scrape off your shoe when you're walking in San Antonio? How the fuck DARE you Chad? After everything we've been through - after everything that I've been through FOR you. After everything I've done FOR YOU - this is how you respond. This is how you treat me. Heel turn, my ass. If anything, this is a turn from Face to Super-Face, for finally standing up for myself, and not just brushing off this constant disrespect week after week. I'm nobody's bitch, most especially not yours, little man.
DM: Part 3, you needed to know that. So I tried to talk to you. Tried to express how pissed off I was. And what do you do? Haul off and bust me in the chin? Proverbial straw; proverbial camel's back, Chad. What am I supposed to do there, huh? I'm supposed to just walk away and apologize to you for getting punched in the face? Fuck you, Chad. You needed to be taught a lesson at that point - and class was in motherfucking session, wasn't it? That wasn't like practice, right? That wasn't like sparring. YOU have made this personal. YOU. YOU did this. YOU are responsible. I've done nothing but stand up for myself. And you want to call this a heel turn. Fuck you. Take you heel turn and shove it up your ass, little man. You turned heel the second you dropped me from the Trios team.
DM: And did you notice that Zane and Bridgette showed up not too long afterward? Did you see that on tape? We talked. They were in the doorway. They could have done something. Zane could have gotten mad. Zane could have hit me. Zane could have defended you, if I was in the wrong so much as you think I was.
DM: But he didn't, did he?
DM: He knew, he KNEW it was going to come to this. Zane and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye, right? Why wouldn't he immediately jump to your defense? He knows that YOU are responsible for this. You should ask him. Zane might be too classy to give you a straight answer, and try to spare your feelings - but know this. He knows this is YOUR fault. He knows you had this coming to YOU. Because of your hubris. Because of your decisions. Because of your ridiculous little crush. And mostly, because of the way you treated me; someone you've always called your brother.
DM: He knows you're wrong, but it's not his place to get involved. Like I said, Zane's a smart guy. But if you think for one second I'm going to stand idly by and let you disrespect me, and then act all high-and-mighty after you eat a well-deserved ass-kicking, you've got another thing coming, brother. Heel turn. You arrogant little shit. You're not white bread and whole milk and you damn well know it. There are 2 reasons that's your rep. Zane Myers and Davin Moreland. Heel turn. You should do us all a favor and blow out your knee, before you bump your head on the ceiling from being so damned high-and-mighty. Heel turn. How the fuck dare you, Chad? After EVERYTHING...this is what you want to do? Really? Heel turn. Fuck you and your heel turn. I'm facier right this second than I was a few hours ago. Ask anyone. Ask your fans, huh? Better yet, you should ask my fans. There are way more of them. Oh yeah, thanks in advance. Mickie?
MM: *raspberry noise. I'm not going to attempt spelling it out*
DM: Wise beyond her months. Thanks for joining us for this special edition of Top 10 Frauds of the Week. Cock a doodle doo, motherfuckers. And by the way, in case you're wondering Chad? Davin Moreland is the Greatest of All-Time. He is the standard by which all other wrestlers are measured. I guess you could say I'm the Measuring Stick, Chad. And let's be honest, shall we? You sure as fuck don't Measure Up/
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:49:52 GMT -5
*OBJ is getting another round of drinks in the Destroyitarium when Scheme Gene approaches*
SG: Outback Jack, you're facing kz once again.
OBJ: Thanks for pointing that out to me, mate.
SG: Meanwhile, Ecosystem seems to have called you out.
OBJ: I've been dealing with his mind games for a long time. Right now we are keeping our focus on the match ahead of us. Danny and Vic are ready, I'm ready...(his eyes roll up and Jack of the Hinterlands takes over)...and I'm ready.
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:50:24 GMT -5
<Moose is walking down the hall when he is stopped by SFJ13>
SFJ13 - Moose, you made Davin Moreland's Top Ten Fraud List, how do you feel about that?
MHJ: I saw that. And I don't care. <shaking his head> Davin is something else, that's for sure. The gap between how much he THINKS he matters and how much he ACTUALLY matters is incredible. I mean really, when was the last time Davin did anything that matters? He was in the four way at Hell on Earth, and lost. He hasn't held a title in how long? Davin is Batista right now. He sits back and bitches, tells everyone how great he is, wants shots at titles every week, but doesn't actually DO anything. So, in short, fuck him.
SFJ13: There seems to be some friction between you and LD, how will that affect kz against Drink & Destroy this week?
MHJ: It won't. And as far as I am concerned, there is no friction. He doesn't agree with what I am doing, not the first time, won't be the last. But when we get in the ring, its all business, and Drink & Destroy will suffer for it. Trust me
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:52:03 GMT -5
Firewoman is STANDING~! at what passes for catering in Utah. She gets a cup of coffee out of the coffee urn, puts her cream in it and turns to head back to her office, taking a sip as she does. She quickly spits it out, and turns to glare at the poor catering staff member.
FW: What the fuck is this?
CSM: Um...coffee?
FW: Really.
CSM: Yes?
FW: You know what coffee has in it that does not?
CSM: Is it too strong? Too light? Do you need--
FW: REAL COFFEE HAS CAFFEINE IN IT!
CSM: Oh, well, we're in Utah.
FW: So?
CSM: So, OOWF hires local catering companies to do this and--
FW: Please get to the point.
CSM: Well, it's Utah. We're full of Mormons.
FW: You have five seconds to explain this to me. One...two....
CSM: It's just that---
FW: Three....four....
CSM: Mormons don't believe in drinking caffeine!!
Firewoman stops counting and calmly sets the coffee down.
FW: Do you know what happens on a given day around here?
CSM: No ma'am, this is the first time our company has--
FW: I get up and run at 5:30...then it's yoga for flexibility, and then to the office with a high protein breakfast, to do paper work and such, then it's lunch, then it's in the gym for another couple of hours with weights and then working on moveset until a late dinner at 8, followed by some more paper work, and IF I'M LUCKY, a little bit of special alone time with my spouse. Have you dealt with pro wrestlers? They are a needy, whiny, bunch, myself included. So I need my energy, I need to be focused, and alert. In short....
I NEED MY CAFFEINE!
CSM: I'm sorry, but our owners are very devout and--
At that, Firewoman lets out a primal scream, picks up the coffee urn, which is completely full, and throws it across the room, where it clashes against the wall, spilling coffee everywhere. The catering staff members and assorted other folks all hide under tables. Fire opens her phone.
FW: Selena? We need to talk about getting our own barristas.
Fire storms out of the area. Genius IQ and Psykle walk in.
IQ: That's without caffeine?
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:52:48 GMT -5
Davin Moreland is playing with baby Mickie when the door to his dressing room flies open. In the doorway is the one, the only, J-P Sparxx. J-P enters the dressing room with Jewel right behind him. Security starts to come in, but Davin waives them off as he stands with baby Mickie.
DM: This better be good.
J-PS: Jewel, baby, take Sammy and Mickie outta da room. We mens gots things ta discuss.
Davin hands Mickie to Sam. As soon as Mickie is out of his arms, Jewel slaps Davin across the face.
Jewel: Fraud? I will beat yo punk ass from here ta...
J-P grabs Jewel by the arms.
J-PS: Baby. Chill. Davin's our boy.
J-P glares at Davin as he says it.
J-PS: Scram. I'll catch up wit ya latah.
Jewel leaves. Sam rolls her eyes towards Davin as she follows carrying Mickie. Davin eyes J-P and scoffs.
DM: Welcome back. You've been missed.
J-PS: I been busy, yo.
DM: You're not supposed to be "busy" THIS is your life. What did I teach you?
J-PS: Right now, ya teahcin' me ta be a punk ass bitch, knowwhatI'msayin'?
DM: No, I don't know what you're sayin' I don;t get you at all lately. So enlighten me. Please.
J-PS: I ain't gots ta explain maself ta you. Ya think teamin' wit Evans is a step back. Fine, belee dat. But'cha know what? He gets it. He gits what it's like ta be da new guy 'round here. He gits it dat no matta what ya do, sometimes, no one gives a fuck. I put on a show, I git a slap on da back, a good job kid, an' I curtain jerk again. I beat big ol' badass Stankl. Good job kid. Curtain jerk. I punk out tomato can Darling. He don't even sell it. So maybe I got a li'l frustrated. Maybe I took ma ball an; went home fo a while. Maybe I gots tired of waitin' fo my break dat ain't comin'
DM: Wah wah wah. So you've been screwed over. Big deal. Play the game. You can't win the game if you don't play. Wake the fuck up and do something about it.
J-P takes off his shades and stands eye to eye with Davin.
J-PS: Maybe I should. Maybe I should punk yo ass right here, right now. Maybe I shoulda done it wit ya kid in yo arms.
Davin pushes J-P in the chest.
DM: Don't talks about Mick...
J-P punches Davin with a hard right. Davin reels back but manages to stay on his feet. he holds his jaw and...smiles.
DM: Was that so hard? I knew you still had the fire...
J-P stands eye to eye with Davin again.
J-PS: Watch yoself son. We were boys. I ain't so sure anymo. Ya wanna see da fire? Ya might git burned, knowwhatI'msayin'? I hope ya do git yo shot at Eric. An' I hope ya win. Cuz if ya do, the Spark's comin' for yo ass. Ya feel me?
DM: Oh yeah.
J-P backs out of the room, eyeing Davin the whole time. As he leaves, Davin smiles again.
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:53:38 GMT -5
*Stank is jogging on his his treadmill in his home at Atlanta. He is glancing between the latest round of promos on the flatscreen and Justin Sane staring lustfully at his sister who is quietly stretching in the corner of the room. She is mostly oblivious to Justin's stare as she listens to the music piping through her earbuds. Justin looks over at Stank and catches the big man staring at him. Sane hops up from the lotus position on the floor and walks over to Stank.*
JS - Does she have a boyfriend?
Stank - Many.
JS - Wow.
Stank - She ain't no good for you, Justin.
JS - Awwww. Why?
Stank - She likes to wreck men. That's what she does. She makes them fall in love with her then she breaks them. She gets off on that.
JS - I want her to get off on me.
Stank - I bet you do.
JS - I wanna ask her out.
Stank - You've been with us for a week and you haven't already?
JS - I don't know what to say.
Stank - Why don't you start by borrowing five bucks from her.
JS - I've already borrowed 5 dollars from her today.
Stank - Since when has that stopped you from borrowing more?
JS - ... ... .... ... .. You're right. Thanks boss!
Stank - Don't say I didn't warn you.
JS - Warn me?
Stank - About Simone.
JS - What about her?
Stank - She's going to break your heart, Justin.
JS - I just want to sleep with her.
Stank - Got dammit I don't need to know that shit.
JS - It's true... it's DAMN true.
Stank - *sigh* Justin... she isn't going to sleep with you. She'll make you think you have a shot at sleeping with her...
*Stank presses the "cool down" button on his treadmill and starts to slow to a walk. He puts his hands on the metal contacts of the treadmill to check his heartrate.*
Stank - ... then she won't sleep with you. She'll string you along for as long as you'll let her, then dump you and make you think it was your fault you got dumped. One day she's going to do that to the wrong guy and I'll end up in prison after I kill the sonofabitch for laying his hands on my sister. I'd feel real bad if that guy was you Justin... so... don't say I didn't warn you.
JS -
Stank -
JS - I just want to see her ta tas.
Stank - I'm gonna smack you.
JS - Okay, Okay, I'll settle for just her bare butt.
Stank - You want to die... is that it?
JS - Can I borro-
Stank - No.
JS - I need it for-
Stank - No.
JS - I went too far, didn't I?
Stank - A tad, yes.
JS - She's so hot.
Stank - That's it. You can't sleep on my couch anymore.
JS - Can I sleep with her?
Stank - You fucking tw- YOU know WHAT...? Give it your best shot, Justin. Go ahead. You have my blessing.
JS - ALL RIIIIIGHT! You're the BEST, boss! Lemme borrow five-
Stank - I already said no.
*Justin scampers off in the direction of Simone Mann, while Stank steps off the treadmill and grabs a nearby towel to wipe the sweat from his brow. He looks at his watch and heads for the stairs when his cellphone rings. He walks over and answers it. We only hear his side.*
Stank - Hello?... HEY what's up? ... .... ... no. ... yeah I saw it on OOWFtv... .. ... No I haven't talked to her about it... ... .. ... What can I say Billy Dee? Moose knows what he's doing... ... .. ... ... uh huh.... I get that, but what can we do?... ... .... .. .. . ...right... ... ... .. I say just let it play out... ... sure... ... and I'm not denying that... ..... Yes I'm coming back... no I'm not retiring... ... ... My knee is better now than when I first started wrestling. I'm in the best shape of my life and I still want my World Title back... .... yes I said it.. .... .. ... I know... and whoever it is will have a few months before they have to worry about me. I can still win a title shot I just can't cash it in until my punishment is up... ... ... I hope it is you. By the way, what's gotten into you?... .. I mean I go on vacation and suddenly you're mister promo... ... no keep it up. You and Flair were hilarious. You had Simone busting a gut. She could hardly breathe she was laughing so hard... she's fine. GET THIS.. Justin Sane wants to ask her out.... yeah somehow he tracked me down don't ask.... I TOLD him.... I did, but he wants to try anyway... ... ... .... yes in my eyes she'll always be my baby sister. I let her act like she is grown... ... I KNOW how old she is! That don't mean she can do whatever she wants... ... I'm pretty sure she will say no to Justin... she ain't into mohawks... ... don't say there's a first time for everything.... yeah Justin has his... ways.. about him... I'm not worried and I'm changing the subject... ... fine... ... Okay I gotta shower then hit the pool. I'll talk to you later... ... ... Yes I saw... sure ... It's just him being him... ... ... The weird thing is... I sorta agree with some of what he said.... yeah imagine that... ... Ha, You're just mad you didn't make the list.. ... ... no fuck that. Don't get it twisted... ... right... right.... I will.... Yes I will, besides, she likes to call me at five o'clock in the morning but she get's the time difference all off and ends up waking me at four, sometimes at three... yeah... Oh there will be hell to pay believe that. I just haven't thought of anything special enough, yet.... okay, talk to you... bye.
*Stank ends the call and Justin walks back toward Stank looking totally dejected.*
Stank - Awww poor guy. You'll survive.
JS - Wha? Oh no, no. We're going out.
Stank - Shit.
JS - Tonight she's taking me to your club.
Stank - Okay then why the long face?
JS - Oh no! I have a long FACE?
Stank - It's a figure of speech Justin. It means why are you looking so got damn sad?
JS - Oh... I don't know how to dance.
Stank - Just move your body to the beat of the music.
JS - Like this?
*Justin starts gyrating then falls to the floor as if he's having a epileptic seizure. A moment later he pops up and stands before Stank with his arms stretched wide.*
JS - Break it down!
*Justin's face distorts into a twisted mess, and he starts winking uncontrollably, as he nods his head from side to side.*
Stank - Yeah just like that.
JS - *Wink* *Wink* *Wink* *Wink* *Wink*
Stank - You having a stroke?
JS - No I'm dancing.
Stank - Alright... um... a little less... a little less winking, Justin. Settle down.
*Justin stops.*
Stank - Thank you. Don't do that part and you'll be fine.
JS - Thanks boss.
*Justin runs upstairs and Simone walks over and stands by her brother's side.*
Stank - Don't hurt him, Simone.
Sim - It look like he was hurting himself. What the hell was that?
Stank - Dancing.
Sim - Wow. This is going to be a fun night.
Stank - Don't HURT him SIMONE.
Sim - He told me you gave him permission to sleep with me.
Stank - He... HE TOLD YOU WHAT!
Sim -
Stank - I DIDN'T... I didn't SAY he could... WHY THE FUCK would he TELL you... oh who the fuck do I think I'm talking about?
Sim - So you did.
Stank - Not in... I was just... I THOUGHT YOU'D SHUT him DOWN!
Sim - No and just for that I just might sleep with him.
*Upstairs we hear Justin scream...*
JS - WOO HOOO!
*Stank feels a migraine coming on and starts rubbing his temples.*
Stank - SHE'S KIDDING JUSTIN!
JS - Awwww!
Stank - You are kidding, right?
*Simone simply smiles and walks upstairs.*
Stank - SIMONE!
Sim - I think I'll wear the red outfit tonight.
Stank - THE SEE THROU- HELL! To! The! NO! What did I TELL you about wearing that!
Sim - I'm a grown ass woman, Lucas.
Stank - Oh you grown? Oh.. oh, okay... You grown? I'm telling mom.
Sim - WHAT NO!
Stank - Nah, I'm calling her right now.
Sim - PUT THE PHONE DOWN LU!
JS - YEAH! PUT THE PHONE DOWN BOSS!
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:54:56 GMT -5
*Fade in to Davin, smiling, checking out some video. Samantha comes in*
SM: Are you fucking satisfied?
DM: Mmm hmm.
SM: That little punk just came in here and threatened an infant, who just so happens to be your child. This doesn't bother you?
DM: Nope.
SM: What the fuck is wrong with you?
DM: Sam, I'm down exactly one brother, and who knows, possibly two. I'll be damned if I lose another one without trying to do something about it.
SM: Getting punched in the face?
DM: Psh. That was a message. If he was really, really pissed, he'd have knocked my ass out. That? That just proved to me that when I win my title back - Spark is 1st in line after the rematch.
SM: When you win your title back? Honey, you've got to get a shot first. And the politics aren't exactly working in your favor these days.
DM: Then I'm just going to have to take my own advice, aren't I? Don't leave them any choice. I'm just as tired of being overlooked as everyone else. This week, I finish sending the messages that I need to fucking finish, and after that? It's back down the golden road to my title. I'll get there. Just a matter of both biding my time and forcing their hand. Knowhatimsayin?
SM: *shakes her head* You're so fucking weird.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:55:40 GMT -5
*Moreland Locker Room* And a few moments later the door flies open once again as Davin and Samantha turn to look to see who it was. They notice Alexis Darling walking in with a bag overflowing with stuffed animals. Samantha: And why are you barging in?Alexis: Seems like the preferred method of entering rooms this week. Didn't wanna be left out.Sam walks up to Alexis and kisses her on the cheek as she looks in the bag. Her eyes get big as she pulls out the item and we see it's one of these Samantha: Oh my god...you found one!!!Alexis: I did. Do you remember the fun we all used to have with these. You'd play dress-up with yours and do makeovers and Alex would treat his like a sparring partner and I'd try and do everything he did. I know you've only got Mickie for now...but I know that on those nights we got punished and all had to go to separate rooms, we'd always have someone with us even if it was just a Pillow Person.Samantha: I really can't believe you found one. Mickie's gonna love it.Alexis: If you ever give it to her.Samantha: Besides the point. Thank you Lexie. Seriously. I'll leave you to discuss business with Davin while I go play with Mickie and her new best friend.Sam walks into the nursery as Alexis turns towards her partner. Davin: Here to complain or discuss?Alexis: A little from column A and a little from column B. Look, whatever your deal with Chad...Davin: My "deal" with Chad is that he's an arrogant, thinks he's better than he is, believe his own hype, fraud of the week. That's what my "deal" is. And it's time he learns his place.Alexis: As I was saying, I don't care about your deal with Chad this week and I'm willing to forget your deal with Chad when you laid down in the center of the ring for him. I'm not in this for your revenge or your ego Davin.Davin: My ego?Alexis: Yes, your ego. You're pulling a Belichek Davin. Even if Chad and Zane haven't seen it yet, you're using the littlest things to motivate you because it's not like anyone else around here measures up to you or you'd like to believe that. That doesn't matter to me. Whatever works for you, go with it...I don't care about why you're doing whatever you're doing. I care about what it means for me. And last week, it meant enough to get us a win over your brothers and my sister-in law. This week, you don't have the same motivation to win.Davin: Really? You don't think I want to beat your brother.Alexis: Not as much as you should. But that's why I'm here partner. My brother wanted to relay a message to you. Well, honestly he probably didn't since he's not trying to pick fights.Davin: Just get to the point Lexie. What message do you want to relay?Alexis: Tap tap tap.Davin looks at Alexis...well less looks at and more stares daggers at Alexis. Alexis: Tap tap tap Davin.*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:57:04 GMT -5
*Eric O'Mac is seen holding the championship at an undisclosed location.*
Eric: It seems I'm a wanted man by many.
Stan Fulton wants my championship. Davin Moreland wants my championship. I'm sure others want my championship.
Get in line. Tell Selena to stop making us go through the tag team tournament shit. I'm tired of it. We all know the World Champion isn't going to win this tournament - so, why put me in it?
Davin, I don't know why you want Fulton to have the belt. Is it because you are scared to face me? Whatever the reason is, if you pull some shit like you did when I faced Bunny back in the day, I'll personally make sure that you won't live to get your title shot.
Stan Fulton...my promo may be mailed in, but I promise you, our feud won't be. I haven't forgotten your pointless attack on me, and I promise that I will deliver payback.
So, yeah. Turn the camera off. Until I'm out defending this title, I'll stop giving a shit.
*Fade out*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 8:58:01 GMT -5
**Cut to L.D. Williams on his cell phone.**
LDW: “Nope, not even an honourable mention…I’m sure it was just an oversight - he is dealing with a lot lately…Nah, tell them to go ahead with the new batch - we‘ve still got to pay for that convalescent wing…That’s just Flair, Ma, bleeding’s in his contract…he likes it, I think…WHAT? I don’t wanna hear…you’d break space mountain, Ma. - I can NOT believe I just said that...I gotta go ma - I need to wash out my brain.”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:00:25 GMT -5
*Fade in to Davin, who looks pretty calm*
DM: Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, I have a special announcement to make tonight. But first off, I need to address OUR World Champion, Eric O'Mac.
DM: Eric, I get that you're a busy guy. You have things to do, I have things to do, I get it. Really. But if you had simply read my promos, you wouldn't have any questions as to my motivations. Should you retain your title against Stan, I might have to wait until next Hell on Earth to earn another title shot. Tournaments, automatic rematches, #1 contenders...I have to wade through all that.
DM: Should Stan Fulton win, I'm first in line. Now, I don't want you to worry. There will be no "Bunny Shit" here. I'm advising. And it's nothing personal; just business. I know you understand. And I tell you what - after Stan's rematch and Sparxx's title shot I promised him a couple of hours ago - you're next. No need to qualify or beat anyone. You're third. That's a gentleman's promise. You have my word.
DM: Now, on to the announcement. Due to the hastily prepared "Top 10 Frauds of the Week" segment yesterday, I'm responsible for a major oversight. Now, I can't turn back time and fix it - but I can do something better, and more permanent. So fans...
DM: Going forward, the "Top 10 Frauds of the Week" segment will be permanently renamed "The LD Williams Memorial Top 10 Frauds of the Week". I hope we can continue the good work we've done together on this. Don't forget to pick up your "LD Williams is a Fraud" t-shirt at your local Wal-Mart or at OOWFShop.com. Cock a doodle doo, motherfuckers!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:01:50 GMT -5
GM Selena is doing one of her many photoshoots.
During a break, one of her many assistants comes over to her.Asst: Mrs. al-Takriti? GMSa-T: Yes, um, blonde assistant girl? Asst: There are new promos. GMSa-T: Ooh, lemme see. The assistant shows Selena the promos on her iPad or whatever that thing is called.GMSa-T: Wow, Davin let Sparxx punch him in the face and did nothing. Huh. Eric O'Mac's promo plays. Selena's face turns a little red.GMSa-T: Okay, you can stop there. Asst: Everything alright, Mrs. al-Takriti? GMSa-T: Ya know what? No. No it's not. I've tried to be a good GM. I've tried to be fair. I've tried to stay out of the wrestlers' way and let them be the stars they are, but ya know what? It's not good enough! Bitch, bitch, bitch! That's all they do! Asst: Wow, you said "bitch" and didn't laugh. Selena glares at the blonde assistant girl.Asst: Sorry. GMSa-T: Seriously, maybe I've been too nice. Maybe I need to make them realize I can make their lives a living hell. I got Eric, a champ I've been heavily promoting and making him a butt load of money whining about me continuing a tradition we've had here since the beginning of the company. I've got those New Guard dudes complaining about how they're being booked. I got Firewoman threatening random people over coffee. COFFEE! I HATE COFFEE! Asst: Um, should I cancel the new catering order then? GMSa-T: NO! I'm venting here so stand there and take it, 'kay? Asst: O...kay. GMSa-T: Maybe I need to start getting mean. Maybe I do need to make their lives a living hell. Maybe Inferno matches should become the norm. I dunno. Selena looks straight into the camera.GMSa-T: Wow, of course. One of you dudes. I get no privacy or peace. I know you pervs tried to get me in the shower the other day, so you're on notice too. Listen up, OOWF wrestlers. Start doing your jobs and quit bitching. Or I will give you something to bitch about. Selena takes a deep breath. She exhales and smiles.Asst: Mrs. al-Takriti? You okay? Selena looks at the assistant and smiles. She then looks back to the camera.GMSa-T: Smile for the camera blonde girlie. Selena then walks straight up to the camera, licks the lens and then kisses it, leaving a lipstick kiss on it.GMSa-T: Nevermore.
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:04:15 GMT -5
*fade in to Chris Evans in the New Guard locker room*
Evans: You may be right, Davin. I may have only one ally on my side right now, but from the looks of it, that’s one more on my side than you seem to have right now.
I saw your promos from earlier. Firewoman, Eric, Moose, Alex, LD Williams, Chad Madison, even Sam is pretty pissed at you after you didn't seem to care when Sparxx threantened violence against you while also putting your daughter in harm's way. Wow, way to shit all over all of the people that have gotten you to where you’re at today. You can lie to yourself and the few people around here that can actually stand to be in the same room with you, but you can’t lie to guys like Sparxx and me.
I gotta admit though, it was pretty amusing to see that after all of the people that you have screwed over the years, that the one person that decides to screw you over is your closest ally, Chad Madison. Ain’t karma a bitch, Davin?
All you’ve got at the end of the day is your mouth. Like Moose has said, you haven’t held a title in a long time, and if you were as talented and as eager to prove why you are indeed the greatest of all time, then why don’t you try to take this title away from me? And don’t try to give me this “beneath you” bullshit, because at this point in your career, you should be thankful for any title shots that you get. I may just be starting my career in comparison to you, but I know that I am very thankful for every opportunity that I get.
And while we’re on the subject of thinking that you’re so much better than everyone else, you tell Chad Madison that he’s arrogant, like you’re one to talk? You’re so fucking arrogant that you believe that if the World Title isn’t involved, that you’ll just half-ass it. You think that you’re the greatest fucking thing that has ever happened to this place, and if anyone, ANYONE, attempts to question that, you’ll do what you did to Chad. Call him worthless, not worthy of your time, a fraud.
Chad, I know that you’re watching this right now, and that you wanna do what pretty much everyone around here right now wants to do, and that’s to make sure that Davin Moreland never runs his mouth down to anyone else around here again. Now I may have a problem with the Old Guard around here, but you wanting to team up with Firewoman shows me that, unlike some around here, you actually want to change things and show that you don’t need Davin to prove yourself. Now knowing you, you’ll probably want to keep this personal between you and Davin, but if you ever need a hand in doing so, don’t hesitate to ask, man.
And speaking of arrogant assholes, that brings me to you, Eric. You’re just like Davin in that way. You both have everything that you have gotten mainly due to the company that you have kept, and when they can no longer prove their usefulness to the degree that you expect from them *snaps fingers* Gone, just like that. Just like what you did with Bryce. Not even a “Hey, clear your head a bit and then we’ll talk” kinda deal. Nope, you just tossed his ass into a dumpster, literally.
My problem with AA mainly resorts from him being an old-timer that doesn’t know when to hang them up, but our problem is personal. You’re one of those people that doesn’t see shit straight unless someone beats some sense into you, so tonight, allow me to show you the error of your ways.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:05:06 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams walks into the Destroyitarium, collects a dring, and sits down across the table from Danny Taylor**
LDW: “Just so we’re clear, the fact that I like to have a little fun outside the ring doesn’t change anything inside it. When we get in the ring tonight, you’re facing kz. Period. Despite what anyone says, Moose and I are on the same page, and you and Jack best be ready.”
**DDT points at OBJ, then at himself, and nods.**
LDW: “I know you will, and I'm looking for - Excuse me.”
** L.D.’s phone rings.**
“Hello?…No, I’m not dead….not dying either as far as I know…I have no idea why he called it that - you’d have to ask him…Donations I’ll take - make it payable to the Fear The Fraud Foundation - it’ll go to a good cause…your condolences are appreciated, despite the fact that I’m still alive.”
**DDT raises an eyebrow.**
LDW: “That’s the twelfth call today. On the downside, everybody thinks I’m dead - but it is bringing in a lot of money.”
**DDT shakes his head, chuckling silently, as we fade**
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:06:15 GMT -5
*Fade into Davin, who is training with Alexis, but she's off yacking with her sister*
DM: Chris Evans? Really? What are you, Intercontinental Champ? Onslaught Champ? DDT Champ? I don't even remember anymore. All I know is, you should have been the World Champ by now - if you had stuck to the gameplan and not thought you knew better than someone who has been around the block a few times, like myself.
DM: See, in GFY, you, Chris. You were supposed to be the guy to get elevated. You were supposed to be the breakout star. You were supposed to be the World Champ. But eventually, Sparxx outshined you, Chris Cornell style. Now it's apparent that he should be the next big thing, and not you.
DM: In case you hadn't noticed, except, you clearly have, I've sort of got my fingers in lots of different pies right now. I got sold down the river by someone I considered my brother. I'm trying to help one guy beat another guy so I get a shot at My World Title. Moose is still rambling his nonsense. I've got a tag match this week against Fire and Alex. I've got LD complaining that I don't give him enough rub as a fraud, when he's the finest wrestler I've ever seen. Well, except maybe Stank. Yeah, I said it.
DM: Now you want to come up like you're important and run your mouth? Challenge me to take that silly little belt off you? You really want that, Chris? Think it through. Because if you really want me to take that Intercontinental Championship off of you - well hell - I'm your huckleberry, douchebag. I could always use a 2nd IC run. Time, place, stips, you name it. When I beat you, I want no excuses from you, ok? Set it up. I'd say "go talk to Selena", but you may want to wait. Or bring her a present or something. Anyway - name it, I'm there. You think I'm gonna duck YOU, Fucko?
DM: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back and train with the best tag partner anyone can ask for. Tonight, it will be Former Tag Champs Nothing Happened, vs. Never Tag Champs Fire and Alex. I know who my money would be on. Cock a doodle doo, motherfucker!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:07:14 GMT -5
External shot of a Starbucks in St. George, Utah. There's a familiar looking motorcycle parked out front, next to a panel van with the license plate INC3OOWF. Firewoman is SITTING~! outside on the patio, having a smoke, and drinking a Venti Pumpkin Spice latte, and if one COULD have an orgasm based upon drinking coffee, it appears she might be having one right now. She looks up at the Invisible Ninja Cam #3.
FW: We are here because there's no fucking coffee in Shivwits. Right after discovering the "coffee" in catering I hopped on my bike. I punched "Dunkin Donuts" into the GPS. There's no Dunkin Donuts in a 50 mile radius, and so this was the closest I could find.
Now that I have had this, I'm going to get on my bike and ride back to Shivwits, hopefully before Alex notices since he doesn't like for me to ride when angry, and he worries.
And since the INC follows me everywhere, I figured I'd pick now to comment on my upcoming match with Davin and Alexis....
She takes a sip and appears to once again be in sheer heaven, before she goes back to the camera.
A lot of folks have said I've not been focused lately. People who haven't been here long enough for this coffee to cool, and then a few others whose opinions I do respect. And, they're right. I have been going through the motions. But that all ended last week. After we lost in the first round of the Trios tournament. That right there was my wake up call. Since then, I've been training longer, harder, and with more intensity that I have in a long time. All with one goal in mind.
I'm going to win the Tag Team tournament for a shot at the titles, and then I'm going to win those. And I'm going to do it with the one person who stuck by me for most of the entire time we've known each other.
Alexis....she's also been one of my best friends. I've worked along side her in the ring...and out....*Fire smiles a bit*....and now I'm facing her. I know we'll put on a hell of a show, Lexie, and you won't back down anymore than I will.
Davin...Davin is one of those people that I do respect. I respect his opinion of me. He helped me a lot when I first came here, and he's helped me since. Sometimes I threw that help away. Sometimes I turned him down. But he always was there eventually...and for that I'll always be grateful.
But don't let that gratitude be mistaken for something else, cuz. Don't worry...I am NOT overlooking you, just because I've got my eyes on the main prize. Far from it. I look at defeating you Wednesday as a true test of my progress since I've been back.
Now, I'm sure you'll find a way to dismiss this, or dismiss me. That's your thing now...dismissing your friends, right? Comparing their lives to bad television? You, who surround yourself with Davin's Angels, discussions with the wife and now kid? Your life is a reality show Davin. Just accept it like the rest of us have, or do like LD, and keep them away from the show, but you can't have it both ways.
Fire takes a sip of her coffee, and seems to be getting angry then regains her focus.
As far as Chad goes....this has nothing to do with me. You can chalk it up to some crush he got over long ago...and yeah....call it 'just a crush' if it makes you happy. You know it was more, but whatever lets you sleep at night. But it's about you and him, and it's about time you give him the respect he deserves. That's all I'll say about that, because it's none of my business.
But seriously...don't make it become my business.
She once again takes a sip to simmer the anger down and get more focused.
None of that matters right now though. Right now what matters is that I'm going to go into that ring at Mayhem with my best friend, and I'm going to face two other people I consider friends, who are family to boot. But I'm going to beat them, and I'm going to walk out of the ring with my best friend, victorious, and continue down the road of getting some gold around my waist, where it belongs. And it will totally sparkle with me.
Hopefully, we can all have a drink afterward to celebrate together as family, because that would sparkle with me too. But I'll understand if you need to go off and lick your wounds.
Firewoman smiles and finishes her coffee. She throws it in the trash, along with her cigarette, and gets on the bike, heading back to Shivwits. The INC watches for a while before cutting off to get into their van and head back as well.
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Post by BookerShark on Oct 26, 2011 9:08:06 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Shivwits, Utah PSYKLE vs. HONCHO WILLIAMSThe two make it to the ring. Psykle moves to the center of the ring and offers his hand, even though this is not under onslaught rules. Honcho accepts the handshake, the referee calls for the bell and the match begins. The match is typical back and forth early on, Honcho uses his speed, Psykle uses his power, but the match stays completely clean. The match nearly ends when Honcho tries a double axe handle from the top rope, but Psykle catches him with a big boot to the face. Psykle pulls him off the mat and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big powerslam for a two count. Psykle hammers Honcho and keeps him grounded and gets several near falls, but Honcho fights back. Psykle lifts Honcho for a suplex, but Honcho slips behind him and lands on his feet and spins him to the mat and locks him in the NOSEBREAKER! Psykle howls in pain, but manages to make it to the ropes and forces the break. Honcho takes over and gets several near falls on Psykle, but the end of the match comes when Honcho goes to the top, Psykle catches him and climbs up for a superplex, then turns it into a TOP ROPE JACKHAMMER! Psykle covers and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 15:07 – Psykle After the match both men get to their feet, Psykle offers a handshake again, Honcho accepts and the crowd roars. EL LOBO SANGRIENTO vs. ECOSYSTEM vs. STAN FULTONThe three men are announced, and Lobo and Stan climb into the ring, but Eco never makes it inside the ring. He just stands there and stares at the two men from the bottom of the ramp, a completely blank stare on his face. The referee tries to get him into the ring, but he just stands there. The match starts with Stan and Lobo circling one another. Lobo grabs a side headlock and takes Stan to the mat. Stan quickly works back to his feet. The two men trade moves and Stan busts Lobo’s nose with a swinging sledge to the face. Blood soaks through his mask, but that only makes him angry. Lobo fights back and traps Fulton in a BOSTON CRAB trying for the submission, but the big man grabs the bottom rope and forces the break. Throughout the match, Eco remains on the apron and just stares at something only he can see. Lobo tries to scoop Fulton up and slam him, but he can’t get the big man up. Fulton slams him in the face with a headbutt several times, sending the Canadian to the mat. Fulton bounds off the ropes and hits the DROPLINE! Stan covers, but Eco snaps out of his daze and grabs a chair and slides into the ring, he SLAMS it across Fulton’s back, then pulls Lobo to his feet and WARPS the chair over his head! Eco looks at the two men, tosses the chair aside and leaves the ring and heads to the back. The referee has no choice but to rule this match a no contest. WINNER in 14:45 – No Contest OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament – Round 1[/u] CHRIS EVANS & J-P SPARXX vs. ERIC O’MAC & ATTITUDE ADJUSTEREvans and Sparxx come out first and they are nearly booed out of the building. The New Guard ignore the boos though, and Evans holds up his Intercontinental title to taunt the fans a little more. The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Eric O’Mac and Attitude Adjuster are announced next, and as they are making their way to the ring we clearly hear Eric tell AA “you soften them up, then when the time comes, you tag me in, and I get the pin, understood?” They climb into the ring and Eric goes right to the corner. AA starts things with Sparxx and we are underway! Sparxx attacks AA right away and beats him to the mat. Evans and Sparxx show their speed, and work very well together as a team. AA manages to get a few offensive moves in, but he is never able to keep that advantage for long. AA nails Evans with a low blow and turns and tries to tag Eric in, but Eric looks at him incredulously and yells WHAT DID I TELL YOU? Then hops off the apron. AA turns back around and eats DUAL SUPERKICKS! His head snaps back and he is out before his head hits the mat. Sparxx, the legal man, climbs to the top rope and connects with DA BOMB! He hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three! WINNERS in 8:11 – Chris Evans & J-P Sparxx Eric hops off the apron and heads to the back with his title shaking his head in disgust. Sparxx climbs to the top rope and yells for Eric, the champ turns around and Sparxx makes the motion of wanting the title. Eric sneers at him and heads to the back. A bloody AA drags himself out of the ring and stumbles up the ramp trying to catch up with Eric. DRINK & DESTROY vs. KZDrink & Destroy are announced first and the crowd roars for them. They step into the ring as kz is announced, and kz storms the ring and attacks Danny and Jack. They are ready for it though, and a brawl erupts. Jack and LD fight in and out of the ring, Moose launches himself at Danny and the two of them tumble through the ropes to the floor. Danny grabs Moose and peppers him with punches and kicks. Moose rakes his eyes and slams Danny face first into the Portuguese Announce Table. LD catches Jack with a clubbing clothesline, then rolls him into the ring. LD follows him, and throws him into the corner and unleashes some CANADIAN VIOLENCE! LD tries a whip across the ring, but Jack reverses it and crushes LD with a clothesline in the corner. Jack and Danny manage to make it to their corners and we have a good old fashioned tag match going on. It doesn’t take long until all four men are bloody messes, but they all look like they are loving it. Moose takes Danny down and tries to trap him in the ANACONDA CROSS but Jack comes in and saves him with a kick to the back of the head. About this time Ecosystem walks out to the top of the ramp and just stands there. LD sees him and hops off the apron and walks toward Eco telling him to get to the back. Inside the ring, Moose misses a clothesline on Danny and Taylor catches him with a big boot to the side of the head. He tags in Jack, and Jack KILLS Moose with a CHOMP! LD turns and races back to the ring, but gets there a second too late, and Jack gets the three count. WINNERS in 31:34 – Drink & Destroy NOTHING HAPPENED vs. FIREWOMAN & ALEXANDER DARLINGBoth teams are in the ring, Alex, Alexis and Fire share handshakes, but Davin refuses to shake hands with anyone before the match starts. Alexis and Fire start things off and put on a wrestling display. Both are fast, so they hit moves at lightning speed. Fire has a little more experience, so she is able to avoid an Alexis top rope move and Alexis crashes and burns. Fire tags in Alex and they double team Alexis (not the first time THAT has happened I am sure). Alex covers Alexis, but she kicks out at two. Alex looks slightly hesitant to mix it up with his sister, but Alexis shocks him back to reality with a straight punch to the jaw. Alexis tags in Davin and the match continues on. Alex and Davin both score several near falls. The crowd is behind both teams and cheers the match itself. After over twenty five minutes of action, the match breaks down a bit with Alexis and Alex the legal men in the ring. Davin and Fire brawl and Davin lifts her for the HELLEVATOR but Fire slips out of it, and catches Davin with a LUNGBLOWER only, her knees are on the back of his head instead of his back! Davin is knocked goofy and Fire covers him. At the same time, Alex lifts Alexis for a DARLING DRIVER, but Alexis slips off his shoulders and hits a bridging German suplex, the referee counts one, two, THREE! Fire and Alexis both jump to their feet thinking they won the match. Confusion abounds, and another referee comes down and sorts it out, Alexis and Alex were legal, Davin and Fire were not. WINNERS in 27:21 – Nothing Happened TEXPRESS vs. THE FLYIN’ HAWAIIANSThe two familiar foes are introduced and make their way to the ring. Texpress is back to getting cheers after getting booed out of the building last week. The four men shake hands and the match begins. Kai and Chad start things off and criss cross, Kai drops down, Chad steps over him and Kai pops to his feet and puts his hand out stopping Chad, Kai then KILLS him with a spinning heel kick. Chad falls to the Texpress corner and tags in Zane and the match continues. The match goes back and forth forever, these two teams are so familiar with one another that neither can keep an advantage for long. Texpress pulls out all the stops trying to keep Kai or Aina down, but they can’t. The Hawaiians hit the Molokai Cocktail and the Butterfly in Japan, but can’t keep the Texans down. Chad and Zane hit a Dropkick Device and Don’t Mess With Texas, but they can’t get a three count either. Frustration sets in and things get a little bit chippy. The match breaks down and a pier six brawl breaks out. As the four men brawl around the ring, Evans and Sparxx come down the ramp and encourage the fight. The two teams go after Evans and Sparxx briefly, but the New Guard beats a hasty retreat back up the ramp. The Hawaiians and Texans turn back toward the ring and see the referee is already at eight, they all race toward the ring, but they don’t make it in time! WINNERS – Double Count out in 28:11 Sparxx and Evans stand at the top of the ramp pointing and laughing at the four. Because of the double count out, the New Guard gets a bye into the finals at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom 7! Chad, Zane, Kai and Aina are furious and they head up the ramp after Sparxx and Evans, but the New Guard escape as we fade to black. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom, Live! October 30th from Devil’s Den, Wyoming. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, October 26th , live from Winnemucca, NV. See something you like? Post it here in the 2010 Awards Reminder Thread For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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