OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (12/28) Live! From Poodiac, Ne

[BookerShark]

<we cut to Moose, roaring down the road heading toward New Brunswick. The car is lit only by Moose’s cigar and the instrument panel. We catch the conversation, but we never see anyone other than Moose>

MHJ: You let ME worry about that, it was my money and I will do whatever the fuck I want with it……..yes, I KNOW you hated the bet, but it was something I had to do……no, not Father O’Flaherty, he was one of the few who gave a damn……look it is done, so you can just stop harping on it already………yeah, I saw his promo, it just proves that Darling is a fucking moron, this Darkness that he thinks he has takes more than just a goddamn hood. It is not something you can visit when it is convenient to you. It’s either part of you, or its not. And for him, I don’t believe for a fucking second it is part of him. You don’t just turn it off to pander to the idiot fans then turn it back on when it suits you, so once again, yes, I think Alexander Darling is a fucking fraud……..What about Lexie?......No, I don’t know her as well, she is a Darling though, so I assume she is a fucking fraud too…….yeah well, fuck Davin too……no, I am not underestimating her……no, I am NOT……fuck you, she got lucky…….FINE she can wrestle, and she is pissed off……..no……..no……NO! There is NO fucking way I am losing that match to her……….why? Because I would rather die in the ring than give the fucking Darlings the satisfaction of beating me…….yes I get that that would make them happy…….that is NOT the point……fuck you…….I have no idea what Alex is doing at the pay per view, won’t be anything left of him anyway……..nope…..what am I going to do? I am going to cave Lexie’s fucking skull in, and I want Little Alex to watch as I take his sister away……no fuck HER……she made her fucking choice…….no, I don’t give a shit, she can go to hell for all I care…..I would imagine I will probably get suspended after the match for being [mockingly] too violent…….no, it’s a fucking joke……yeah I seem to have a separate set of rules here……no, fuck this place, that is why it is going to burn…..have you SEEN what it has become? It is a fucking JOKE! The OOWF used to be the most hardcore fed on the planet, now? Now we have the fucking joke of a commissioner running around giving hugs and forgiving people, we have a completely incompetent GM running things who BANS ALL FUCKING CONTACT the second things get rough, we have some half assed new faction that wants to take over, have you SEEN this shit? Jesus Christ the Mormons could take over and be more in your face about it, they want to run shit, but all they talk about is respect, and doing things the right fucking way, what the fuck ever. When the Five took over, we left people fucking bloody. We left bodies in the goddamn ring, we struck FEAR into people. This New Guard? What the fuck ever………yeah I know The Five was gold, its really too bad she had to have one of her diva spells and fuck it up……..yeah well, once again, decisions have consequences……….

<Moose laughs maniacally and the INC pans over to the passengers seat to reveal that it is empty, Moose hits play on the CD player and Iron Maiden’s “Number of the Beast” blares as Moose guns the car and roars down the desolate Canadian highway>

[BookerShark]

Kai is enjoying the catering when a random SFJ comes upon him. Let's call her Kim.

SFJK: Merry Christmas Kai.

Kai: Mele Kalikimaka to you too. The Kai loves the holidays. Does the fine piece of pie wanna know why?

SFJK: Sure.

Kai: The Kai loves the holidays for the lights. The food. The Ohana. The lonely girls getting closer to New Year's and getting all desperate. The Kai LOVES to play during the holidays.

SFJK: Well, at midweek Mayhem, you and your brother defend against...

Kai: IT DOESN'T MATTER! Who The Kai and his bruddah face. We are the Hawai'ian Nation. We represent the blood, the sweat, the tears of all of our ancestors. And this week, we face two teams that aren't real teams, so the Kai is not worried.

SFJK: Well, they aren't normal teams but they're very talented...

Kai: Do you like...pancakes?

SFJK: Um, yeah.

Kai: Well, the Kai will fix you pancakes for breakfast if you shut the hell up about Midweek Mayhem! The Lava Bull will take a chair, a table, his belt, his 15 1/2 boot, a fan, Russ, or anything else The Kai needs to and will turn that son bith sideways and stick it straight up all their candy asses! So put some perfume on to cover up that stank and you and The Kai will hit the town and then The Kai will hit that ass, IF YA SMELLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!

Kai arches his eyebrow and puts his arm around Kim as we *fade*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SITTING~! in catering, drinking her coffee, looking at files of things, when Davin Moreland comes and sits with her.

DM: I thought we were doing ice cream?

FW: No.

DM: But wh--

FW: Three reasons. First, it's still f'in' cold. Second, I'd be as big as a house if I ate ice cream every week. Third, I'm lactose intolerant. I was sick for two days after last time. So it's coffee.

DM: Yeah, but coffee was a Moose thing.

FW: Look, Dr. Freedman ordered me to do this with you, but didn't order it to be ice cream. So you can either have coffee now and come up with something else, or we can just not--

DM: Geez, fine. Coffee it is. For now.

Davin sits.

DM: How were things after I left?

FW: Well, they settled down a bit.

DM: Good...I must say you were impressive. You won over I think the whole family. You really know how to work a room.

FW: Thanks.

DM: And, sheer genius on asking Julius's opinion of your business plan for the next two quarters. The fact you knew what you were doing I think really impressed him.

FW: Yeah, by the time I left, they had all stopped calling me Ms. Quinn.

DM: But not--

FW: No, that was part of the deal for coming.

DM: It's stupid, you know. You're a grown woman who goes by a character name in her real--

FW: Yes, I know it's stupid. And...I'm working on it, and some day it'll be fine, but for now, please just call me Fire, okay? Until I say it's okay?

DM: *sighing* Fine. The Brothers Greed also took a shine to you this time.

FW: Yeah...well....

DM: What did you do?

FW: I did NOTHING except be kind and listening to their inane conservative 'blame the poor' shit for three days. And still, it didn't work.

DM: What? I thought things went well for you.

FW: For me, yes...but.....Alex and Alexis...not so much.

DM: Ah....

FW: Although it was mostly fine until the day after when...well, Julian was flirting with me, and Alex apparently didn't like it, or had had enough, and....he punched him.

DM: He did? I thought he deserved to be punched the second you guys got there.

FW: Yeah, well, he waited, so then there was a fight. I thought at first it was because it was something they kept calling boxing day and--

DM: Wait....seriously?

FW: Shut up. We didn't DO holidays while growing up. Anyway, that's not what it means.

DM: Do tell.

FW: No, but I never got to find out because of the fight and then Alexis obviously took up for Alex, and I just tried to get everyone to calm down because that's not what the documentaries say is supposed to happen.

DM: Documentaries?

FW: Yeah, they've been running Christmas movies like non-stop and I was studying them, you know, like I do getting ready for a match.

DM: Ah...and what did you learn?

FW: Well, that everyone gets a ong by the time Christmas is over, and everything is fixed. That didn't happen, so...what is so funny?

DM: Li...I mean, Fire...those aren't documentaries.....

FW: Huh?

DM: They're just movies. Just fictions designed to reflect all the hope and joy the season is supposed to bring and...well, sometimes doesn't.

FW: Oh....

DM: I assume you're mad at Alex?

FW: Um....I probably shouldn't be, huh.

DM: No.

FW: Okay....

The two sip their coffee in silence a bit, while Fire processes the difference between fact and fiction and Davin tries to not be so amused.

DM: So, you really have no good memories of the holidays at all.

FW: No....I mean, I don't remember much about your house either. It's like...I can't remember the good stuff, because when I do that opens the way for the bad stuff, ya know?

DM: Well....I think you should look for the good stuff...then when the bad stuff comes up, well, we'll deal with that too.

FW: Yeah...I suppose...Okay, I gotta go. Meeting with RabbitMask to prepare for our "One Night After Another" reunion run.

DM: Good luck.

Fire gets up and turns back

FW: You know, Thanksgiving wasn't so bad.

DM: No? Good!

FW: So for the January holiday maybe it'll turn out better.

DM: The what?

FW: You know...Thanksgiving was at the end of November, Christmas the end of December...I can't wait to start decorating for the end of January.

DM: Uh, Fire...there's no--

But she's already walked off to go training.

[BookerShark]

VERY SLOW FADE up on a gym somewhere in New Brunswick. Working out is OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton. By himself. Seems the whole gym is otherwise deserted.

“I may not be able to see you, Invisible Ninja Cameraperson, but you make enough noise to wake Matt Folz into doing a promo.”

Fulton stops his reps on the leg press machine and grabs a towel. Because every hoopy frood should know where his towel is.

“I know I’ve been kind of quiet lately. There’s been a lot going on behind the scenes and to be honest, I get pretty depressed this time of year.

“But frankly, I was hoping the rest of the New Guard would step up and keep the dream alive. I’ve been half-heartedly watching OOWF-TV and all I see is Darling/Quinn/Moreland crap. Day in; day out.

“We’re all tired of seeing this same old drama played out by the same old talent. The New Guard was created because everyone was tired of the same washed up talent continuing to main event, continuing to hog the airwaves with their boring lives. There’s very little talk about the upcoming matches because they’re so busy being Emo. And not Emo Philips funny. Emo sad and all drama-y.

“Well I will do my part.

“Tomorrow night on Midweek Mayhem here in...”

Fulton looks at a clipboard laying nearby. He reads off the paper.

“Poodiac, New Brunswick?”

Fulton looks up.

“Really? Poodiac? You couldn’t get a ring sent to Siberia? Perhaps the Arctic wasteland? Back to Antarctica? Poodiac. I can't believe we're working in this shithole.

“Anyway, tomorrow night it’s the New Guard versus Drink & Destroy. Chris Evans and myself against El Lobo Sangriento and Outback Jack. A Jim Ross branded slobberknocker mixed up with a technical spotfest.

“Match of the night. Jack and I beat the snot out of each other while Evans and Lobo try to one-up the other off the top rope. And like the three hundred Spartans held off the Persians, we few of the New Guard shall push back against the rolling tide that is the established status quo.

“Jack, Lobo. I’ve never denied your talent level. You’ve both been champions and in other life I’d be proud to call you friends. But Jack, you’re just another one of those that didn’t know when to hang up his tights and let the new generation have their day in the spot light. Lobo, we’ve all believed you’d make a great addition to the New Guard. But you’ve decided to ally yourself with Drink & Destroy. Another one of those ancient groups that just doesn’t know when to ride off into the sunset.

“New Guard versus old guard. Antiestablishmentarianism versus status quo. Tomorrow versus yesterday. Call it what you will. We’re cleaning up this place.”

Fulton goes back to the leg press machine and presses the whole weight system right off the back of the machine.

“I can’t believe I workout in this shithole.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Ghosthead is sitting in his locker room with his wife. We catch them mid conversation.*

GH - Why does my brother hate them?

SLM - I don't know that he hates them.... I mean... Alexander probably, but when he talked to me about Alexis there wasn't that... loathing tone to his voice he gets when I mentioned Alex. At any rate, he says Alexis is capable in the ring, but the real threat with her is her smarts as he put it. She's crafty. Do not underestimate her.

GH - Any danger of her various friends or family members getting involved?

SLM - If this were simply a one on one match between the two of you I'd say no... but with Moosehead Jack in there who knows?

GH - Hmmm Ket.

SLM - I thought Ket was-

GH - There's no denying it my sweet.

SLM - You're sure? He's not just being psychotic.

GH -

SLM - I worked with him closely during my first run here when The Five pretty much had their way with the place. You were in Mexico at the time and I thought Ket-

GH - I'm certain Shannon.

SLM -

GH -

SLM - Jesus...

*Ghosthead smirks*

SLM - I don't want you going up against him.

GH - My sweet... your concern is touching... and not needed.

SLM - Jared.

GH - Ket is no more threat to me than anything else.

SLM -

GH - I am in full control.

SLM - Then why Ghosthead? Why can't you just be-

GH - You've been talking to my brother too much.

SLM - Lucas saved my life. Yours too.

GH - I'm aware.

SLM - You can't expect me not to talk to him.

GH - I expect you to trust me even if he doesn't.

SLM - I do trust you.

GH - Ghosthead is part of who I am. Especially who I am in the ring.

SLM -

GH - Tell me about Matt Folz.

SLM - I don't know much about him. I know nothing really.

GH - He is part of the "New Guard" such as they are.

SLM - You're not thinking about joining them are you?

GH - Not for the moment. Their path is not clear to me, yet.

SLM - If you joined them you would eventually go up against Lucas.

GH - That's an inevitability regardless.

SLM - Still... I don't like the New Guard.

GH - Why not?

SLM - I don't trust their motivations.

GH - What motivations... to be the best this company has to offer? To be the elite force driving this federation forward? We should all want that.

SLM - You KNOW what I mean. They say one thing then do another.

GH - We all do what we must.

SLM -

GH - I'm not saying I disagree... but I would not be so quick to dismiss the New Guard. That is not to say I would join them, but I see no fight there for me for the moment... save the fight against Folz at Mayhem.

SLM - I'll get some video on Folz we can study together.

GH - I have a better idea.

*Ghosthead rises to his feet and throws on his coat and hood. He tenderly caresses Shannon Laszlo Mann's face before walking out the door, haunting the halls of the arena as the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

"Cult of Personality" hits as GM Selena makes her way to the ring. She takes her time, greeting the fans and giving high fives. She gets to the ring, stands on the apron, flips her hair back and smiles as flash bulbs pop. She finally gets in the ring and grabs a microphone.

GMSa-T: Hello New Brunswick!

*cheap pop*

GMSa-T: Since you all are about to see the last Midweek Mayhem of 2011, I thought it was time for my first ever annual State of the OOWF Address!

Fans cheer for some reason.

GMSa-T: Let's start with the boring business stuff and get that over with. Ratings are up! Yay!

Cheers

GMSa-T: Pay-Per-View buy rates are up too! Yay!

GMSa-T: We've increased our roster recently, as well as added new insurance plans, updated the catering and started an official union for the wrestlers. We have a bunch of new sponsors, including Nabisco for their Oreo's. As you can see, I've clearly got the best intentions for our wrestlers. But...

Selena sighs with an eye roll.

GMSa-T: It really doesn't seem to matter to them, does it? I've tried really hard to make the backstage area safer for all of them. Me. Someone who LOVES violence and chaos. I've tried being responsible, but all it does is give me heartburn. I'm nineteen, I'm too young for heartburn!

She gets a chorus of "awws"

GMSa-T: So, I'm gonna say my peace, and make a few changes around here. Be careful what you wish for boys and girls. You just might get it. First, I'll start with the New Guard. Boys, ya know what? I kinda like you guys. You're standing up for yourselves, trying to make a name for yourselves. Keep up the good work. Chris Evans. You admitted to being Captain Excellent. Congratulations. No one cares. Now, normally I'd have to fine you and the rest of the New Guard for your infractions. I'll get to that later.

Onto the tag division. Personally, I think we have the best tag team in the world as your Tag Team Champions. People say I show favoritism to them. Meh. Let's face it, the tag team division sucks, and I take full responsibility for that. My promise to you, the fans, is that we here at the OOWF will make a full effort to recruit new tag teams to our great company. I've already got Brian V., our best recruiter, scouring the indies. He loves doing that stuff. Also, if there are any current OOWF stars that wish to enter the tag ranks, let me know.

Onto to our Commissioner. I have received a lot of complaints about Firewoman. Most of them are indeed legit. So, I've decided that Firewoman will...

...continue in her role as Commissioner. You see, Firewoman does all that legal junk and paperwork stuff I hate doing. She does it well, and she will continue to do so as long as she wishes. As for her role with the wrestlers, well, I will be overseeing her in that regard. I will not let her over step her bounds. Unless I agree. Or think it's funny.

Now, onto perhaps the most pressing matter that I've had to deal with in the last few weeks. A few weeks ago, I made what is known as the Moose/Darling Proclamation. Naturally, I expected some backlash, and I got what I expected. But that saddens me. Moose and I were really close. As you well know, I called him Uncle Moose. He was genuinely excited to see me get this job. But now, now that I've done something he doesn't like, I'm "incompetant."

Crowd boos.

GMSa-T: I know, right! Moose, all I was trying to do was save your career, and that of Alexander Darling. Have you seen the numbers from the merchandise you two dudes sell? It's crazy. The dollar sign neck-chains, the "Embrace the Hate" T-Shirts, the stuffed Mooses that Davin started...

Fans laugh.

GMSa-T: As I said earlier, I love violence and chaos, and if I didn't have this job, I'd sit back with popcorn and watch you two tear each other apart and laugh so hard I'd cry. But I can't do that. I'm supposed to protect yourselves from yourselves.

Selena eyes the crowd and a sadistic smile creeps across her face.

GMSa-T: People get fined for backstage attacks, they complain. I make fair matches, people complain. I punish people for bad behavior, people complain. Okay. This next year will be 2012. The year of Apocalypse. Okay. Tell ya what. Let's embrace that. Shall we?

Crowd murmurs.

GMSa-T: The Moose/Darling Proclamation? Gone. Kill each other. Beat each other to a bloody pulp in a Wendy's bathroom, I don't care. We have insurance. Hell, memorial shows get HUGE ratings. Fines for backstage attacks? They're gone too. Hell, lets have more random chairs, lead pipes, ladders, the whole kit & caboodle. What's a caboodle?

Mr. Lucas Mann. Stankie. Your suspension from title matches? It's over as of January 1st. Kick some ass, Stankie! *laughs* He's big.

You wanted chaos? You wanted the freedom to do what you want? You got it. Have fun boys and girls. But you better start entertaining me. Or I'll start firing you. Smile for the Cameras. And shed some blood.

Selena dramatically drops the mic with a *thud* and leaves the ring.

[BookerShark]

<Ghosthead is wandering through the bowels of the arena. He comes to a dark room somewhere in the basement and a slight smile plays across his face>

GH: So I see I am not the only one who wanders the halls

<we hear a match strike as Moose lights a cigar, he grins and we see he has Happy Deth Bat in his hand>

GH: Come to eliminate an opponent?

MHJ: Just the opposite actually. Much like you know about Ket, I am very familiar with Ghosthead, I saw your work in Mexico as well, very impressive

GH: You are not here for compliments

MHJ: Never one to mince words. Simply put, I like the way you do things

GH: Is this another recruitment attempt?

MHJ: <laughing> At this point recruitment is pointless. You know who I am and what I stand for, and I know what you are all about. You want to go along for the ride? You are welcome. I hold no grudge against your brother, but I also realize you are your own man. You want to go it alone, or hell, even run with the New Guard, that's all on you

GH: Actually......I am a bit curious, what ARE you all about?

MHJ: <hopping off the pile of crates he was sitting on> The OOWF used to be the most violent place in all of wrestling. This is where blood was spilled in opening matches. This is where matches were talked about for months, this is where people earned their stripes, you make it here, you can cut it anywhere. But now? The OOWF has gone soft, we've gone PG. No attacks, no blood, very little violence. Instead? Promos about feelings, and hugs, and family gatherings. Promos about respecting your opponents and settling things in the ring. Fuck. That.

GH: I assume you have not seen GM Selena's State of the OOWF address then?

<Moose just looks at Ghosthead>

GH: The gloves are off, no more bans, no more fines, it's open season. So now, I ask you, what are your intentions with that bat

MHJ: <glancing down at HDB> I intend to slam this bat upside a Darling's head

GH: Which one

MHJ: Does it matter? And......I actually did have a reason for being here, I knew you were out wandering, and I figured you would end up here. This week, you and I can tear into one another, and that will be exactly what They want.

GH: Or.......

MHJ: I get Alexis. You can do whatever you want to Folz. You can wrestle him, you can slaughter him, I don't care. I want Alexis. You want help with Folz, fine, you want to help me destroy Alexis, fine, but I have no fight with you

GH: <considering this for a moment> And what if Alexis and Folz come to the same decision

MHJ: It will never happen. Folz hates the Darlings almost as much as I do

GH: Well, then perhaps we should approach Folz. One less Darling in the company couldn't be a bad thing

MHJ: <grinning> I doubt he listens. I am Old Guard and he thinks I am the enemy. His loss. So, what do you say?

GH: I will let you know

MHJ: When

GH: The minute the bell rings

<Ghosthead turns and walks away without another word>

[BookerShark]

As Moose and Ghosthead finish their conversation, they hear a voice behind them.

"You're right Moose."

They turn to see Matt Folz coming from behind.

MF: I DO in fact hate the Darlings almost as much as you do. And I really couldn't give a shit about the fans either, we have that in common as well. But you know the difference between us? I have more talent in my little goddamn finger than you do in your entire body. I am the very best technical wrestler in this entire company, and if either of you two or Alexis doubts that, well.......you'll learn the hard way tomorrow. Have a good night gentlemen.

Folz turns and walks away as we FADE

[BookerShark]

~~~ Bridgette sits across the desk from Selena ~~~

Bridgette: .... You said it yourself. You are biased towards them and it is your fault the tag team division is in the state it is right now.

GMtSa-T: They had their chance..

Bridgette: Listen hon, you know as well as I do we could have that "Last Match" over again tonight and the result would be different, then do it again the next night and the result would be different again. What I'm saying is you want to rebuild the tag team division? start with putting the best team in this company's history, and that's a statistical fact, like them or not, back in the mix.

You said ratings are up, and on the whole, that's true. You overlook the fact ratings were DOWN during the most recent Tag Team Championship defense. Why? The fans don't care to see Kai & Aina beat a thrown together team. The result is a foregone conclusion. You don't keep viewers with that kind of booking. I doubt this week, despite Davin & LD being across the ring, is much different.

GMtSa-T: Look, I'm tired of them whining. And I'm NOT biased.

Bridgette: But they aren't. What did they do after the loss? The immediately focused in on finding a Trios partner. I'm here as their advocate. You want to improve the Tag Team Division, I'm giving you a logical, sensible way to do that. You do what you think is best. But don't believe for a moment that you do what you do without any bias.

~~~ Bridgette gets up and leaves the office quietly. ~~~

[BookerShark]

We see Ecosystem from behind, sitting in Kitt's Cave In nearby Hammondvale, New Brunswick. We turn around and see that he is wearing an iron mask.

Eco: (exaggerated harsh voice) So Alexander...you have made your choice...you will no longer rise above hate...you will allow it...to consume you...

Eco slides the mask up, grinning.

Eco: You know, Alex, I'm glad you're choosing to focus on me right now rather than my associate, Mr. Jack Quinn. First, I'm glad for selfish reasons. For some old school, no frills, professional wrestling reasons, I'm glad that we're going to have another go-round togethr.

We've wrestled five times one-on-one, Alexander. My record in those matches is 1-3-1. I took three losses to you during my misguided little run with Trinity. Whatever you want to call a monthly cycle of competition: a feud, a series, whatever, I lost it. And I believe I should not have.

Am I jealous of you? There's some jealousy there, yes. As the New Guard would likely agree, the two of us have our legacies pretty much set in stone at this point. When the history of the Online Onslaught Wrestling Federation is written...I'll be dutifully noted as the founder, yes, but as a misguided megalomaniac who almost took the company down as well. And no matter how many more titles I win, no matter how I prove myself going forward, I'll be remembered as the man who awarded himself titles while Alexander Darling led the OOWF.

Surprised I would say that? It's obvious, even if Moose would never admit it...or Davin Moreland...or maybe even your wife. You have been the poster child for this company in the most literal sense for a very long time, certainly through 2010 and 2011.

It's what you wanted. You got what you wanted, and by and large, people lauded you for it.

You know what I want, Alexander?

[/i]To leave the world screaming in pain, prostrate at my feet.[/b][/i]

No one lauds me for that desire. In fact, I don't even want to want that. That's why I take the medicine you mock. That's why I seek to mitigate that desire. But I can only diminish, never extinguish. And so tonight...I seek to turn that desire on you.

Until now, I have remembered Mai's words.

Mai: Let me be clear. Until Moosehead Jack tells you to do otherwise, explicitly, with his words, I am telling you to not assault or otherwise seek revenge against the Darlings.

Eco: I have Moose's explicit words now...not just his words, but a threat of violence against me if I do not follow them. Yet my obedience to Moose...it's an excuse.

You may hate Moose, Jack Quinn, Ket, whatever his name may be. And he has given you reason to hate him more than any other human, Alexander. But look deeper.

Jack Quinn may think he is Satan, but at the end of the day, Jack Quinn is a man who gives toys to children on Christmas.

You've chosen your enemy correctly, Alexander.

Because Moosehead Jack...is an antihero.

Ecosystem lowers the iron mask again.

But Ecosystem...is the villain of the story.

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Stank appears in Firewoman's office door slightly out of breath. He wipes sweat from his brow with a towel he has draped around his neck.*

Stank - Hey.

FW - Hey.

Stank - Give me my five hundred dollars back.

FW - Excuse me?

Stank - I gave you that five hundred as an advance on the fine I was sure you were going to give me for retaliating against Ricky "Flapping" Chickenshit.

*Firewoman looks at Stank incredulous from her desk. That look slowly morphs into confusion as a cardboard cutout of Johnny Adrenaline's head slowly peeks over Stank's left shoulder.*

CCJAH - Did someone say chickenshit?

Stank - Not now Alan.

*The cardboard cutout slowly lowers out of sight. Firewoman stifles a laugh.*

Stank - So give me my money.

FW - I never said I was going to fine you.

Stank - You think I would just hand five hundred dollars over to you for no reason?

FW - I thought it was for a bet.

Stank - What bet?

FW - I don't know... pick one.

Stank - I already paid you for all the bets you won.

FW - Why are you sweating?

Stank - I'm just getting back from my run.

FW - Without ME?

Stank - Hey you're the one who changed everything up. I'm not jogging with you and Chad anymore. You should see the two of you together all flirty and whatnot. It's sickening.

FW - Jealous?

Stank - Woman please.

FW - We're NOT flirty.

Stank - I'll make sure a ninjacam is nearby the next time you two go running.

FW - Oh please Lucas. There's nothing going on between Chad and I. There hasn't been for quite some time.

Stank - Then all that crap is for show? That makes it worse, not better. I'd almost rather Alex were jogging with us instead. At least he'd simply focus on the run and keep his mouth shut.

FW - I'm not giving you the money back.

Stank - Excuse me?

FW - I'm fining you for... being a pain in my ass this morning.

*Stank smiles.*

Stank - Oh yeah? Well here's an additional two. *Stank reaches in his pocket, pulls out his wallet. He takes out several twenty dollar bills and plops them on Firewoman's desk.* Because I plan on continuing this conversation later.

*Firewoman smiles and takes the money.*

FW - You're not getting this back either.

Stank - We'll see.

FW - I'll make sure to tell Alex dinner is on you tonight.

Stank - Oooooh... you are a cruel... cruel... woman.

*Firewoman laughs as Stank shakes his head and walks away from Firewoman's office. He eventually rounds a corner and is SPEARED to the floor by Ricky Soaring Eagle. Eagle rains down punches toward Stank's head while the big man struggles to block each one. Eventually Ricky gives up on the punches and quickly changes positions, trying mightly to lock in a jiu-jitsu armbar. Stank is a veteran and anticipates what Ricky is trying to do. Stank turns with Eagle and locks his hands together, preventing Ricky from stretching Stank's right arm out.

Stank struggles to rise to his feet, already tired from his run earlier. He manages to get to one knee and as he pulls Ricky up off the floor, Ricky releases the hold and jumps to his feet. He then PUNCHES Stank on the side of his head staggering the bigger man backwards. Ricky advances and hits a BIG BOOT, not quite high enough to Stank's head, instead landing in the middle of Stank's chest, and with enough force to acheive the desired effect of knocking Stank back down to the floor with a thud. Stank's lands hard, cracking the wall behind him as he falls.

Ricky moves in for the kill, but is distracted by a tap on his shoulder. Ricky turns and is shocked to see Comrade Sharkoff standing there. Sharkoff grabs Ricky's hand and yanks him in for a SHORTARM CLOTHESLINE! Ricky falls to the floor, the back of his head hitting hard against the unforgiving concrete floor!

CS - You have just fallen victim to the Russian Sickle! Before the night is through, both my American opponents will feel Russian wrath! The Russian Sickle will cut you both down. Then it is on to YOU Fulton Crusher! I will bring GLORY to MOTHER RUS-

Stank - Yo!

*Comrade Sharkoff stops mid rant and watches as Stank rise slowly to his feet, the big man bracing himself against the cracked wall as he slides slowly upward.*

CS - Wat is it?

*Stank points down at Ricky Soaring Eagle and before he can react, Sharkoff finds himself tripped to the floor as Ricky has Sharkoff locked in the ANKLE LOCK! Unfortunately for Ricky, Sharkoff shows no signs of the pain such a hold should have on one gripped by it. Sharkoff simply turns over and KICKS Ricky Soaring Eagle off of him. Much to Ricky's horror he comes away with Sharkoff's prosthetic foot.*

Stank - Wow.

RSE - What tha-!??

*Ricky Soaring Eagle is stunned (I guess he doesn't know about the history between Stan Fulton and Sharkoff.) Stank can't contain his amusement and struggles to hold back laughter. Sharkoff makes no effort to contain his and laughs at Ricky from the floor. Soaring Eagle's anger rises within him and he tosses the foot over his shoulder and POUNCES on Sharkoff. The foot however smacks right in Eric O'Mac's face as he happens by, minding his own business.*

EOM - What the fuck? Who threw their FOOT at me???!

*Eric turns and sees Stank leaning against the hallway wall, pointing vigorously down at Ricky Soaring Eagle fighting Comrade Sharkoff on the floor in front off him. Ricky jumps back up to his feet with his back turned to Eric, staring down at a bloodied Comrade Sharkoff who is no longer amused. Eric picks up the foot and throws it at Ricky's head. Ricky barely ducks in time as it whiffs by his head, sailing through the air and landing hard against Pyskle's shoulder as he happens by, minding his own business.*

Psykle - The hell? Is that a foot?

*Ricky and Stank both point at Eric who throws his hands up pleading.*

EOM - I wasn't- HE threw- I was aiming for the Indian, not YOU!

RSE - I'm not an INDIAN idiot!

EOM - Who you calling an idiot?

RSE - You do NOT want to make me angry!

EOM - Fuck you!

*Psykle doesn't care who Eric was aiming for. He picks up the foot and advances toward Eric O'Mac.*

Psykle - I'm going to shove this up your ASS!

Stank - Turn that sumbitch sideways before you do.

EOM - Shut up Stank!

*Psykle shoves Ricky Soaring Eagle aside as he approaches Eric.*

RSE - Watch where you're going SASQUATCH!

*Psykle stops in his tracks, turns and GOOZLES Ricky Soaring Eagle.*

Psykle - Who you calling Sasquatch, pipsqueak?

RSE - *gurgle**gurgle* angry! *gurgle*

*Eric takes this opportunity to try and escape. He slowly backs away while he thinks Psykle is distracted. Psykle turns his head however and locks eyes with Eric. Pyskle rears back with his left hand and throws the foot at Eric's face. Eric ducks, the foot misses, lands on the floor, slides down the hallway, and trips Zane Myers as he happens past at the intersection of the hallway and the main common area of the arena.*

CS - Would you crazy American bastards kindly stop TOSSING MY FOOT like it is stupid American FOOTBALL?

Stank - Hey! American football is NOT stupid!

*Meanwhile Zane has fallen and inadvertantly grabs onto to Jewel's skirt as she and J-P Sparxx are walking by minding their own business. The skirt comes down revealing Jewel's sexy, lacy, underwear.*

J - AHHHH!

J-PS - What he HELL, YO?

ZM - Oh GOSH! I'm SO sorry!

J-PS - You ain't SORRY YET, son!

*Sparxx and Jewel attack Zane Myers. Chad Madison runs up and tackles J-P Sparxx off of his partner. Eric O'Mac, who is running away from the scene where Psykle has RSE choking for breath, trips over Chad and J-P Sparxx rolling around on the floor. Zane pulls Jewel off his back. Picks up her skirt and hold it out to her. Jewel angrily SNATCHES the skirt out of Zane's hand and pulls it back over her righteous as-- uh -- *Ahem* anyway. Zane retreats apologetically and spies Eric O'Mac stumbling over and joining J-P Sparxx on the beatdown of Chad Madison. Zane jumps into that fray as Stank wanders to the intersection and sees all the comotion. The big man's eyes stay locked onto Jewel pulling her skirt up, for several seconds, before he shakes his head, and finds what he's looking for. Stank walks over to Sharkoff's foot lying nearby and picks it up. He intended to return Sharkoff's foot to its owner, but that plan is disrupted when he is bowled over by Ricky Soaring Eagle tackling LD Williams into him.

Ricky, LD, and Stank fall in a heap. Stank looks at LD in confusion. Ricky struggles out of the heap and is yanked up by Pskyle who throws RSE over into the Texpress/EOM/J-PS fray.*

Stank - LD.

LDW - Lucas.

Stank - What the fuck are you doing here?

LDW - I have no idea. I was just walking down the hallway, minding my own business, when I saw Psyk- ... ... ... is THAT someone's SEVERED FOOT in your hand?

Stank - It's not a severed foot. It's a prosthetic and it belongs to Sharkoff.

LDW - I see.

Stank - I'm going to go give it back to him.

LDW - You do that.

*By this time more of the OOWF roster has made their way over to the fighting. Psykle is now struggling with J-PS AND Ricky Soaring Eagle. Texpress are battling Eric O'Mac, Attitude Adjuster and a cardboard cutout of Johnny Adrenaline. Three more members of the New Guard have found their way here trying to come to the aid of Sparxx, but finding themselves locked in battle with El Lobo Sangriento and Outback Jack. As Stan struggles with El Lobo, Evans fights Outback Jack. Matt Folz runs onto the scene and is felled by a blindside attack from Happy Dethbat! Moose swings HDB indiscriminately at anything that moves as Stank helps LD to his feet.*

Stank - This... is getting ugly.

LDW - You're telling me.

CS - Give me back my foot American pig.

*Stank turns around and sees that Sharkoff has hopped over on one foot.*

Stank - Whoa, snuck up on me there.

CS - My foot!

Stank - Here you go.

*Stank extends the foot out to Sharkoff, but it is KNOCKED out of his hand by Ricky Soaring Eagle who TACKLES Stank to the floor! The foot goes sailing through the air, bounces off Stan Fulton's head,and knocks a cup of coffee out of Davin Moreland's hand on his way to Firewoman's office.*

DM - DAMN IT! I can't BELIEVE I'm working in this SHITHOLE!

SF - That's MY CATCHPHRASE!

DM - Relax tubbo!

*Davin is attacked from behind by The Kai! Stan joins The Kai in the Davin Moreland beatdown. LD Williams sees this and after checking to see if Stank has a handle on Ricky Soaring Eagle, he turns to help Davin... and is intercepted by Aina!

Meanwhile Happy Dethbat has been wrenched from Moose's hand surprisingly by Alexis Darling. Moose whirls around and gets a Happy Dethbat to his face for his trouble. Ecosystem stands by and does nothing. Ghosthead wanders onto the scene and simply watches the proceedings. Someone has to pay for this entertainment so the camera fades as we cut to commercial break.

ADS

[BookerShark]

Firechild is in a wretched roadside bar a few miles outside Poodiac watching the feed from OOWFtv and enjoying some fine Canadian beer.

He sees Selena's recent promo...

You wanted chaos? You wanted the freedom to do what you want? You got it. Have fun boys and girls. But you better start entertaining me. Or I'll start firing you. Smile for the Cameras. And shed some blood.

Selena dramatically drops the mic with a *thud* and leaves the ring.

Firechild smiles...

FC: Damn, looks like I chose the right moment to come back...

A figure emerges from the shadows and walks up to him...

Random Guy: Hey... didn't you used to....

Firechild turns in his chair, smiles at the barfly and replies...

FC: Why yes, I'm Firechild, former five time OOWF belt holder and soon to return to enlighten the OOWF again.

The barfly seems to chuckle and removes his hat and reveals some familiar features...

FC: What do you know, Canadian Dragon! We tore it up a few times back in the day. What are you up to?

CD: Well, mostly teaching wrestling at a little gym up the road...

FC (dismissively): That's simply fascinating... now, I'm re-debuting in a few weeks, so would you let me concentrate....

CD: Re-debuting, you? Don't make me laugh. The OOWF has moved on, Darling accelerated past you and became the poster boy, getting under Moose's skin in a way you only dreamed of. Moreland has been a multi-time champion and there are a whole bunch of new champions who regard you in a similar way to the way WWE fans in 2000 regarded the likes of DDP. The OOWF doesn't need or want you, Flame. The New Guard have all the gold and aren't going to let it go, especially for an old school wrestler who never really made the main event the first time round.

Firechild takes a glug of his beer and looks reflective...

FC: Is that so....

Firechild smashes the half full bottle across Canadian Dragon's face. Dragon staggers backwards as the barman shouts for Firechild to stop. Firechild drags him across the bar, headbutts him and tells him to get out, or burn. The barman flees, along with the few remaining drinkers. Dragon charges at Firechild but gets hip tossed neatly into the jukebox, which clicks into playing "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix.

FC: Nice.

Dragon charges at Firechild again but gets a barstool smashed across his face and thrown across the pool table. Firechild jumps onto the table and with little ceremony nails the WINGS OF THE PHOENIX through the pool table.

Dragon is folded up like a cheap suit, headfirst into the pool table while Firechild jumps off the table, rolls his shoulders and takes a bottle of Jake Danielson whiskey from behind the bar. He pours the bottle over Dragon and leaves a little trail as he walks towards the door...

He pauses at the door and flicks on his lighter.

He looks aside and straight at the PoV from the ninja cameraman.

FC: Some things change.

He puts the lighter away and neatly downs the rest of the whiskey before tossing the bottle to neatly smash on Canadian Dragon's head...

FC: But some things stay the same.

FC: That's the best workout I've had in years, but I'm sick of hearing about this 'New Guard' - isn't that an old WCW angle? It's time for me to come back and save the OOWF from itself. EVERYBODY is going to burn...

Firechild walks out of the bar and the ninja cameraman pans around the devastation before cutting back to the arena feed...

[BookerShark]

Rabbit Mask and Firewoman are TRAINING~! and practicing some nice tandem flippy stuff off the top ropes, even though Rabbit Mask has moved away from that some what. They are finished and interrupted by an SFJ.

SFJ: Firewoman, I'd like to get your comments on some of the tihngs going on this week.

FW: Sure.

SFJ: Well, first...your brother--

FW: Heh...according to him, I don't have a brother.

SFJ: Well, despite his descent into evil, he appears to have given a significant amount of money to a children's charity in Detroit, and he hinted it was one that helped you all out when--

FW: Let me stop you right there. First, that's nothing new, he does it every year. This time the INCs just happened to catch it.

SFJ: Yeah, but a total of 50 thousand--

FW: Right that's the second thing. You'll recall the bet with LD and Stank was for 50-kay, right? So it's not even his own money. And third, he can say "some people," meaning me, have forgotten where they came from, but I was never at that particular agency. I was taken from Detroit when I was six. If they helped him out great, but I can't forget a place where I never was.

SFJ: But--

FW: That's enough about my brother. Next?

SFJ: Your match this week is another one where you're teamed up with former partner Rabbit Mask against two teams that you're fairly friendly with. How do you get pumped up to defeat them?

FW: Same way they do. The goal is the gold, and to win. I know they'll do whatever is necessary. Family, friends, nothing should matter once you step through the ropes except having your hand raised in victory at the end. All six of us believe that so whatever happens, happens.

RM: Except we win.

FW: Right.

SFJ: I wonder if you would comment on stan Fulton's criticism that there's been too much emphasis on--

FW: No, I won't...wait, yes I will. Fulton would do well to mind his own team mates. He doesn't want to see all that? Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to have a private life. Maybe the New Guard COULD step up and give the INCs something else to do.

*sigh* Having said that, it was a holiday weekend, and most of them went home with their families for a couple of days. He could lighten up a bit.

Rabbit Mask and Lucky start to laugh.

FW: Hey, cut it out. He's actually been working out and stuff, and is starting to look good. Quit being jerks.

SFJ: Finally...I assume you saw GM the Selena's state of the company address. Specifically this:

Onto to our Commissioner. I have received a lot of complaints about Firewoman. Most of them are indeed legit. So, I've decided that Firewoman will...

...continue in her role as Commissioner. You see, Firewoman does all that legal junk and paperwork stuff I hate doing. She does it well, and she will continue to do so as long as she wishes. As for her role with the wrestlers, well, I will be overseeing her in that regard. I will not let her over step her bounds.

FW: Well, I have to say, I'm surprised to hear her say that. I had thought that our relationship had grown by leaps and bounds. I mean, sure, we didn't like each other at first. She never did understand why I didn't go to her wedding, why I didn't like ...anyway, it doesn't matter. She's made her decision. I'll keep taking care of all the boring paper work and the actual running of things, and she can eat bon bons or whatever. I'm not going to cry over it, but yeah...I'm disappointed.

The fact is that I've done nothing outside of the role of commissioner. The only "complaints" have come from Genius IQ, who was trying to keep me from interfering in his abusive relationship with Psykle. Well, and Stan Fulton, who jumps on whatever bandwagon comes his way. She's the one who levied the heavy penalties against Stank for assaulting a fan, which she's apparently changed her mind about. In fact, when I did find I had made an error, in the case of my OWN BROTHER, I reported it to the board. In fact the board has investigated all complaints, and ruled that the complainers are full of shit, and just don't like being called on it.

The truth though is that those fines are set by the board of directors. I'm just the messenger. But you know what? I'm done being messenger. The board wants to levy fines, they can do it themselves.

SFJ: She's apparently lifted the ban on Darling/Quinn interactions, and in fact, all of your measures put into place to keep wrestlers safe backstage.

FW: Yeah, it appears our General Manager would like to turn this place into Dodge City. That's fine. If she wants to be the corrupt mayor of some boom town in an old western, that's fine. That leaves a role open for someone to be sheriff. And that someone I suppose will be me.

So, I'll be keeping the peace backstage. You see, every injury or altercation, has to be documented and a copy sent to the Ohio Athletic Commission. Selena wouldn't know that since I take care of all the paperwork. But you know what? If I'm going to have to do it anyway, I may as well make it worth my while.

SFJ: What does that mean?

FW: That means I'm done with bureacratic solutions. If the boys can't figure out what that DOES mean, then to borrow a catch phrase, they haven't been paying attention. Or they've forgotten who I am and what I am capable of doing if properly motivated. They want the OK Corral back here? That's fine with me, I can more than play along. But this time it'll be my own terms, not because someone else is calling the shots.

I will make this offer. Anyone who wants to be deputized should just let me know.

Justin Sane comes running in with a cowboy hat and a badge. He puts the hat on Fire, who DOES look pretty awesome in it, and hands the toy badge to her.

FW: What is this?

JS: You said you were sheriff! Here's your badge. There's a five dollar delivery fee.

FW: No, Justin...I'm not really...it's a metaphor...

While Fire tries to explain, Justin stands there with his hand open. Finally she sighs, signals to Lucky, who gives Justin five dollars.

SFJ: But what about the brawl that erupted almost right outside your office?

FW: You mean the one that I didn't see until I was nearly done with this here promo?

SFJ: Yeah.

FW: Well...That appeared to be fairly even, and there were no serious injuries. But that's the last one. From now on, as long as I'm commissioner, I'm breaking everything up, here and in the ring, no matter who is involved.

Firewoman reaches behind her and picks up a kendo stick, slinging it over her shoulder.

SFJ: Okay, that's it, I think we're done.

FW: One more thing...Chad and Zane, if you're still looking for a third for the trios...

She uses the kendo stick to push the cowboy hat up a bit.

...Let me know. Having gold around my waist again would totally sparkle with me.

FAAAAAAAAAAADE

[BookerShark]

Mai Muyo wanders into the New Guard locker room post-brawl. All the titles hang from the lockers, their holders indisposed. Mai wanders over past the World and Tag Team titles, running her hands across the belts on the way. She stops at the end when Jewel walks in.

Jewel: I need a more stable outfit...YOU! You ain't got business in here, what are you doing?

Mai: Looking for your suitor actually. Is he around?

Jewel: I tol' him to get looked at 'fore his match--got popped one good by the biker.

Mai: That's good. More people should seek more medical attention here.

Mai wistfully looks at the belts.

Jewel: Now I know you not looking at that Onslaught Championship.

Mai: Oh no...Mai strokes the Intercontinental Championship as Jewel raises an eyebrow....this one just caught my eye. Well, tell JP I wish him luck tonight.

Mai exits.

FADE

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Poodiac, New Brunswick Canada

<at work, will post the PPV lineup when I get home, unless Sop still has it and wants to post it>

HONCHO WILLIAMS vs. OPTIMUS PRIME MINISTER

OPM is a local Canadian worker with a confusing gimmick. By night he is an Ice Road Trucker (even though the Ice Road is nowhere near New Brunswick) and by day, he “transforms” into the Prime Minister of Canada. Got that? Ok good. The problem is, OPM is not an especially GOOD worker, and Honcho is coming back off a knee injury. Honcho dominates the match, Prime – truck driver or PM – doesn’t get much of anything in offense in. His lone hope spot comes when he catches Honcho with a drop kick to the knee and heads to the top rope for a flying axe handle, but Honcho kips up and NAILS the THUNDERBOLT then pounces on him and locks in the NOSEBREAKER! OPM doesn’t last long and taps out quickly.
WINNER in 4:12 – Honcho Williams

After the match Honcho looks into the camera and says “Sparxx, don’t think I forgot, I am comin’ for YOU!” then makes the “I want the belt” (or, discount double check) motion.

STANK vs. COMRADE SHARKOFF vs. RICKY SOARING EAGLE

All three men are in the ring, the bell rings, and they tear into one another. Typical three way big man match, all of them hit power moves, but can’t keep one another down. Stank is the crowd favorite and gets cheered when he cleans house, clotheslining Ricky Soaring Eagle over the top rope to the floor, and catching Sharkoff with a STANKONIA for a two count. Soaring Eagle comes back into the ring and nails Stank from behind and shows his impressive strength by hitting the RETURN TO EARTH on Stank, but Sharkoff breaks it up at two. Sharkoff pulls Soaring Eagle up and sends him to the ropes and nearly decapitates him with a RUSSIAN SICKLE! Sharkoff covers, but Soaring Eagle kicks out. The three big men continue to pummel one another for nearly twenty minutes. Soaring Eagle is down in the corner and Stank is on one knee on the mat. Sharkoff has him lined up for another RUSSIAN SICKLE but Stank catches him and hits a STANK-U! Stank moves to cover, but Soaring Eagle explodes out of the corner and grabs Stank, throws him out of the ring, covers Sharkoff, and gets the three count.
WINNER in 20:18 – Ricky Soaring Eagle

ALEXIS DARLING vs. MATT FOLZ vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. GHOSTHEAD

All four competitors are in the ring, Moose is slumped in one corner, the other three wait in their corners. Moose is glaring at Alexis with hate in his eyes, and Alexis is returning the death glare. The bell rings, and Moose looks over at Ghosthead. The mysterious brother of Stank slowly walks to the middle of the ring, then charges into the corner and he and Matt Folz start trading haymakers. Moose grins, pulls himself up and he and Lexie meet in the middle of the ring and throwdown. Moose and Alexis fall out of the ring and wage war around ringside while Folz and Ghosthead actually <GASP!> wrestle in the middle of the ring. We all know Folz is one of the best technical wrestlers in the OOWF, but Ghosthead matches him move for move, keeping the former Onslaught champion off balance with reversals. Outside the ring, both Alexis and Moose are bloody messes and are hitting each other with anything not nailed down. Their war spills into the crowd, and they hit one another with chairs. Inside the ring, Folz hits an OLYMPIC SLAM on Ghosthead and goes for the ANKLE LOCK, but Ghosthead kicks free and drops Folz to the mat and traps Folz in the TRIANGLE CHOKE! Folz makes it to the ropes just in time. They get to their feet, Folz regains the advantage and tries to pull Ghosthead up for a brainbuster, but he staggers a bit, sending them both over the top rope to the floor. Moose slides into the ring and reaches between the ropes to pull Alexis in, but she grabs the Darling Sledgehammer from beneath the ring and BLASTS Moose in the face with it. Alexis slides under the bottom rope and covers, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 18:51 – Alexis Darling

TEXPRESS vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER & ERIC O’MAC

Piggybacking on the current trend of revisiting the 80’s, Attitude Ace skateboards down the ramp (poorly) while Eric O’Douglas walks behind him carrying a skateboard, not a bit interested in living the gimmick. AA gets into the ring, and shows off his long, bleached blonde hair (wig) and climbs to the middle rope for the adulation of the fans. He points to the top of the ramp, and “Johnny Adrenadude” gets a push from a stage hand and somehow makes it all the way to ringside on the skateboard. AA leaves the ring and poses with him, while Eric stands in the corner shaking his head. Texpress is announced and make their way to the ring and gets a huge ovation from the crowd. The bell rings and the match starts. AA starts things off and quickly becomes Ricky Morton. He takes a beating, then makes the hot tag to Eric, who comes in and hits a few disinterested moves, then tags AA back in. Texpress take over again and dominate the match. At one point AA is on the outside and he threatens the Texas flag with a punch, something that would get him executed in Texas, and Zane chases him, AA races (for him) around the ring, hits the skateboard he left there, and ends up flat on his back, dazed. Zane rolls him into the ring, Chad climbs to the top rope, waits for AA to get up, and hits a LARIAT! Chad covers, and gets the three count.
WINNERS in 10:21 – Texpress

ALEXANDER DARLING vs. ECOSYSTEM – Sadistic Madness Match

One of the most vicious matches in the OOWF as a competitor can only win after making their opponent bleed. Ecosystem and Alexander make their way down to the ring and as soon as the bell rings, Eco attacks. And Alex is not fighting back at first as Eco unloads. Eco continues the assault with Alex mainly just playing defense and Eco does draw first blood about 8 minutes into the match after he pulls a fork out of his boots. As the blood drips down Alexander’s face, he finally smiles and goes on a tear against Eco. The attack continues as Eco tries to defend himself and does fight back a few times. But Eco finally gets busted open when Alex sets up a table and DARLING DRIVERS Eco through the table and then takes a piece of the table and starts digging it into Eco’s scalp. Alex doesn’t go for the pin fall right away and that allows a comeback attempt from Eco. He gets as far as locking in the END GAME, but Alex doesn’t give up and finally gets to the corner and gets a running start to roll back and break the hold. The blood loss is really affecting both men, but Alexander looks to be enjoying it as he drags Eco to his feet and nails the BRAINBUSTA. Alex doesn’t let up as he sets up a chair around Eco’s legs and Alex rolls him through with a chair-assisted MONEY CLIP. Eco holds on for as long as he can and in fact, he never does tap out but he does pass out from the pain and blood loss. The bell is called but Alex refuses to let go at first until he’s finally aware of the count and breaks the hold before the result is thrown out.
WINNER in 23:56 – Alexander Darling

The ring of the bell is still lingering in the air when Moose hits the ring with a kendo stick and starts HAMMERING on Alex. Darling blocks a few shots, but after his grueling match, he doesn’t have a whole lot left and one good shot upside the head puts him on the mat. Just when it looks like Moose is going to go for the kill, Alexis Darling races to the ring. She grabs Moose and catches him with a STUNNER then grabs the kendo stick and starts wailing on him. By this point Eco has regained his senses and gets to his feet and pulls Alexis off of Moose, but Alex is also back on his feet and he attacks Eco. The four of them brawl through the ring, with enough hatred between them to light a city, someone would die before they stopped. So, with that in mind, OOWF security storms the ring and breaks it up, physically dragging all four of them back to the locker room.

STAN FULTON & CHRIS EVANS vs. OUTBACK JACK & EL LOBO SANGRIENTO

The four men don’t even make it to the ring as Jack and Lobo leave the ring and catch Evans and Fulton on the ramp. This one is not going to be pretty. The four men don’t even TRY to make it to the ring, opting instead to brawl around ringside, through the crowd, backstage, and finally into the parking lot. Jack and Fulton are bloody messes after hitting one another with empty beer bottles lying in the parking lot. Evans and Lobo are on the hood of a car slugging it out. Evans leaps onto the hood of the car and tries a hurracarana off the car, but Lobo catches him and PLANTS him with a POWERBOMB through the windshield! HOLY SHIT! Fulton and Jack are fighting by the loading dock, and Jack charges at Fulton, but Stan sidesteps and sends Jack off the dock to the pavement, then leaps off and hits a DROP LINE ONTO THE CONCRETE! Dear sweet Jesus, Jack is dead. Lobo and Fulton mix it up some more, but officials have seen enough. Medics tend to Evans and Jack and eventually the two men are separated. The New Guard tends to Evans while Lobo looks after Jack. Texpress come out and they help medics get Jack onto a gurney as we fade back to the announcers talking.
WINNER – No Match, No Contest

JP SPARXX vs. PSYKLE – Best of Three Series, Match Three, Sparxx leads 1-0-1

Simply put, if Psykle wants a decisive fall at the pay per view, he HAS to win this match. The two men share a tense handshake to start things off. Psykle shows a more aggressive side, but doesn’t receive any warnings. Sparxx knows Psykle HAS to beat him, so he stalls, which only frustrates Psykle more. Psykle finally catches him and grounds him with a belly to belly suplex. Psykle works over Sparxx legs hoping to ground the high flyer. Psykle tries to blow Sparxx knee out by repeatedly applying an Indian death lock, also trying for the submission, but Sparxx manages to make it to the ropes and force the break. Sparxx battles back, and we are told there are five minutes remaining in the match. Psykle gets more aggressive, battering Sparxx with clubbing shots and punches to the head, drawing two warnings from the referee. Psykle whips Sparxx to the corner, but Sparxx scales the corner and tries a moonsault, but Psykle catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with a sit out PILEDRIVER! Jewell looks on with horror from ringside, this is the same move that nearly crippled Steve Austin. Psykle covers, and gets the one, two, three just as the time expires! There will be a final match at the pay per view!
WINNER in 14:59 – Psykle (series tied 1-1-1)

THE FLYIN HAWAIIANS vs. LD WILLIAMS & DAVIN MORELAND vs. TEAM RABBXTFIRE – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

All six wrestlers are in the ring and the bell rings. Firewoman and The Kai start things off, and for the first ten minutes or so we get an actual wrestling match with quick tags and team work and everything! Davin and Kai go at it, and Davin nearly hits the REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER but The Kai backs off of it and points to his head. LD sets Rabbit Mask up for the CANADIAN DESTROYER but he reverses it and rolls LD up for a two count. Firewoman tries a BFE but Aina gets to his feet and catches her on his shoulder, then DRIVES her to the mat for a two count. It’s right about here that things start to break down. The three teams meet in the middle of the ring and a debate about the wisdom of raising taxes on the poor arises, and that naturally leads to fists flying. All six spill out of the ring. Fire and Davin trade STIFF chops by the stairs while LD and Aina brawl on the announce table. Inside the ring Rabbit Mask and The Kai trade punches with the crowd doing the YAY! BOO! thing. On the outside LD tries to suplex Aina off the table into the crowd, but Aina blocks it and reverses it and DRIVES LD through the table with a MICHINOKU DRIVER! Inside the ring, Rabbit Mask has The Kai on the top rope for a SUPERPLEX! Aina crawls out of the wreckage of the announce table and climbs to the top rope opposite. Davin and Fire are lost in their own world and are still chopping the shit out of one another, no doubt silently working out some familial issues. Rabbit nails the SUPERPLEX but before he can float over and cover, Aina KILLS him with a SUPERFLY SPLASH out of nowhere! He drags The Kai on top of Rabbit Mask and the referee hits the mat and counts one, two, THREE! The champs manage to retain!
WINNERS in 26:17 – The Flyin Hawaiians

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