OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (03/07) Live! From Guatemala C

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Guatemala City, Guatemala

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match - Onslaught Rules[/u]
Psykle vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle

OOWF World Tag Team Title Elimination Match[/u]
The Flyin Hawaiians vs. Attitude Adjuster & Honcho Williams vs. Phoenix Rising

El Lobo Sangriento, LD Williams & Danny Taylor vs. Stan Fulton, Chris Evans & JP Sparxx
Stank vs. Matt Folz vs. Ghosthead
Texpress vs. Crowing & Mai Muyo
Moosehead Jack vs. Comrade Sharkoff


card subject to equatorial food poisoning. Is that a thing?

[BookerShark]

<We cut to the back where Attitude Adjuster is standing with #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline, presumably discussing strategy. Moose storms into the picture, kicks AA in the gut then slams him face first into the wall. Moose then turns and kicks #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline, sending him to the floor. Moose stands on #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline and glares at the referee. The referee hits the floor and makes the three count……

WINNER and NEW DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – Moosehead Jack

……Moose slings the title over his shoulder and heads to the ring. As he comes down the ramp, the crowd boos him loudly, but he ignores them all. Moose grabs a mic and steps between the ropes. He storms around the ring wild eyed for a moment, then calms down and takes a few deep breaths, Moose looks up with a strange look on his face and finally speaks>

Little mouse, you are not alone, in proving foresight may be vain; the best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew; and leave us nothing but grief and pain, for promised joy.

<Moose closes his eyes and lets his words linger as the crowd boos him loudly>

He had it laid out so perfectly. He had it all planned. We would win the tag team showcase, and then we would win the world tag team titles. The Saints of Sinners would embark on a reign of terror never seen before. The blood of our enemies would stain the OOWF ring, and no one……no one…….would stop us.

<Moose pauses again and the crowd boos louder>

But that plan failed. That plan failed, not because of me……that plan failed because my tag team partner……..Ecosystem……..failed me……..again. If you know the history of the OOWF, you know that in the early days, there was a group of men that ran together, a group of men that had the ability to be the greatest collection of talent the OOWF had ever seen. The Establishment could have DOMINATED the OOWF for years…….but Ecosystem could not handle the pressure. Ecosystem failed. Years later, I was willing to forgive that failure, but now…….Eco has failed me again.

<there is the faintest smattering of cheers thinking maybe Moose is going to turn on Eco here, Moose ignores them>

I look around the OOWF right now, and what do I see? I see the New Guard running roughshod over the roster. I watched them put Outback Jack out. I watched them put Davin Moreland in the hospital and likely end his career. I watched them destroy careers, and………and honestly I don’t care.

<the crowd boos this loudly>

What I have here on my shoulder is the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal title

<Moose takes the title off his shoulder and lays it on the mat>

I have decided to do exactly whatever the fuck it is I want to do in the OOWF. This title is a joke. This title was being held by a goddamn cardboard cutout. This title has been held by a fucking ketchup bottle. This is the deal now…….this title is not going to be defended 24/7. There are not going to be any more backstage brawls. There are not going to be any more half fucking birds winning this title.

<Moose pauses for a moment, the crowd boos him loudly>

What this title is going to become is a fighting title. You want this title from me? Fine. In the ring. No pinfalls. Only submissions or referee stoppage. It’s that simple. You want to take this title from me? You have to make me quit, or beat me so bad that the referee has no choice but to stop the match. I don’t give a shit who you are, who you run with or what your agenda is. I am the toughest, meanest motherfucker in the OOWF. You think I have gone soft? You think I am a shadow of what I once was? Come to this ring and take it from me. It’s that simple. No bullshit. No mind games. No threats. I am inviting anyone to step up and take this from me. Do your best, because it won’t be enough.

Trust me.

<Moose picks up the title and slings it over his shoulder and heads to the back>

[BookerShark]

Mai is sitting alone, very publicly, in the backstage area. She sits on a folding chair and no one has moved near her. Finally, Crowing approaches.

Crowing: ...Did you need a ride to the hospital?

Mai does not look up.

Mai: There are doctors to care for him.

Crowing: Fair. I just wondered if you wanted...um...

Mai looks up very slowly. She flips open a lighter.

Mai: It's just like you say.

Mai ignites a small piece of flash paper in her hand that quickly burns away.

Mai: ...Everyone burns.

Mai rises, at full posture. Tall for a woman, she comes to eye level with the average-height Crowing.

Mai: The question is, whether we burn in this life...in the next...or both.

A smile creeps across Mai's face.

Mai: There is a choice. A right choice, he said. Now is the time for the purging flame.

Mai sits back down and slowly lowers her head again.

Crowing: Mai?

She is unresponsive.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Alexander comes in to the luxury suites, already in street clothes. He sees a large metal trashcan, looks at it oddly, and then just shakes his head.

AD: Lucky, where is--

L: She's changing clothes.

Firewoman comes out of the bedroom, her blood soaked white Trinity ringwear in her arms, wearing her DEA #3 Jersey and sweat pants. She appears to have just showered.

FW: Hey, Alex.

AD: Um...hey?

FW: Wanna help?

AD: Um....

FW: *smiling, fairly normally* It's okay. You can just be here.

Fire takes the clothes and puts them in the trash can. She also throws in her copy of "The Rise and Fall of Trinity" and a few other things that promoted the stable that she had.

AD: What--?

Fire dowses everything with something from a red can, and then lights a match...takes a deep breath....and waits...and then tosses the match into the can. Everything ignites into a nice blaze.

AD: Fire, careful...what about the alarms or sprinklers?

FW: Dude, it's El Salvador.

AD: Right.

They stand and watch the flames for a bit.

AD: So...what's next?

FW: Well.....I'm anticipating my next session with Dr. Freedman will be interesting.

AD: No doubt.

FW: But...I'm thinking there are some tag team championship belts out there that would look mighty awesome around our waists.

AD: You sure?

FW: Look....I defeated him. What happened afterward was....terrible. But...it's over now. It was over before all that. I'm ready to move on. But first, we have not celebrated our two wins in the invitational....our FIRST wins as a tag team! So let's do that tonight, and we'll get back to our training and therapy schedules tomorrow. Lucky?

L: Reservations made and confirmed. Go have fun, I'll take care of this.

FW: I think I need to change clothes first.

L: Jeans will be fine, it's late and it's a fairly casual place.

FW: Awesome.

Firewoman leaves

AD: Okay....I don't like you...but you usually know about these things....is this....okay?

L: Dr. Freedman seems to think so.

FW: *re entering* Okay, ready!

Fire takes Alex's arm and they leave, while Lucky waits a bit, then puts the lid on the can, extinguishing the flames and setting it out into the hall.

[BookerShark]

Serious Female Journalist #14 comes up to Mai, who is still sitting in her chair. The lights are down in the hallways.

SFJ #14: Mai? It's late. Do you want a ride to the hotel?

Mai does not respond.

SFJ #14: Okay. Um...I'd like an interview with you tomorrow, but if you don't want to...

Mai: (looking up) Ask now. Please. I know it's your job.

SFJ #14: Um. Well...given how badly Ecosys--your brother--was burned when Firewoman kicked him into the flames...

Mai: He held the cage.

SFJ #14: (uncomfortable) Yes, I saw that.

Mai: So why did you frame it in terms of Lisa?

SFJ #14: I didn't want to mention...

Mai: Do you know why he held that cage? Do you know why he stayed there to burn in that fire?

SFJ #14: ...I don't.

Mai looks back down.

Mai: I don't either. But I think...I think that maybe it felt good.

Mai is silent again. SFJ #14 fidgets.

SFJ #14: I'm going to run...you're sure you don't need....(pause)...okay. Bye.

SFJ #14 leaves. Mai takes a breath. She pulls out her phone, dials a number, and waits.

Mai: I know you're asleep, and I know you're not expecting a call from me. But call me back when you wake up.

Mai hangs up, and goes back to sitting and looking downward. She takes a breath, folds her hands, and begins mumbling prayers.

Mai: "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves."

FADE

[BookerShark]

FADE up on a view of a modern OOWF banner with a man standing in front of it holding a microphone.

M: “Good morning, everyone. I’m former AWA announcer Marty O'Neil, your new host for OOWF Newsbreak. With me today is current OOWF World Heavyweight Champion and a member of the New Guard, The Crusher Stan Fulton.”

Fulton walks in from off camera.

SF: “Marty. Nice to see you.”

MO: “Thanks, Stan. May I call you Stan?”

SF: “Sure, Marty. As long as you remember to not be lippy like your predecessor, you’ll be fine.”

MO: “Uh, right. Thank you. First of all...”

SF: “Before we get to your questions, Marty, I’d like to pose a question to everyone.”

MO: “Sure. Go ahead.”

SF: “The New Guard hurt people. There’s no getting around that fact. We have put one wrestler out permanently and another is in the hospital as we speak.

“We’ve been vilified for it. Probably, again, a valid viewpoint. We don’t apologize for our actions, but we do claim it was necessary for the OOWF to survive. The OOWF was going to stagnate. It was going to go the way of WCW without our intervention.

“Stank and, to a point, LD Williams, men I respected and still do respect for their abilities in the ring, like to compare the New Guard to The Five and they keep saying that the New Guard is nothing like the Five.

“Which is totally true. The Five were self-indulgent, selfish thugs. Taking what they want strictly for their amusement. The New Guard, since day one has stated that we’re here for the improvement of the OOWF and the ability for the entire roster to improve. So, no Stank, we are nothing like The Five. And we’re extremely happy about that.

“But now I’d like to pose this question to the entirety of the OOWF. Why the double standard?”

After a short pause...

MO: “Uh, double standard about what?”

SF: “Seriously? I have to spell it out? OK, fine.

“The New Guard, with perhaps some overreaching zeal, has gone about cutting away the chaff from the kernel. Injuries have been given and for that we’ve been vilified.

“But Firewoman, who just so happens to have been a member of that selfish Five, sets a man on fire and watches him burn, perhaps to death, inside a cage so he cannot be helped, and not one person, besides me on behalf of the entire New Guard, steps forward to say this was wrong.

“Her husband, Alexander Darling, doesn’t even blink. Her former Five members, Stank and LD Williams, stand by in silent approval. To paraphrase Doc Holliday from the movie Tombstone, it would appear their hypocrisy knows no bounds.

“Where is the outrage? Where is the sportscaster with the bad hairpiece and ugly sport jacket lamenting the terrible thing done to Junichiro Muyo?

“You know where? Sitting on their asses acting superior to everyone around them when they’re no better than anyone else, the New Guard included. And if they don’t believe that, then they’re not paying attention.

MO: “That’s sure to cause a response. Thank you. If I may continue?”

SF: “Continue, my good man.”

MO: “Let’s look forward to Midweek Mayhem. You team with Chris Evans and J-P Sparxx. Facing you will be three men who, frankly, despise everything that the New Guard stands for: El Lobo Sangriento, LD Williams & Danny Taylor. Your thoughts.”

SF: “In that ring Wednesday night will be six men who are at the top of their game. Six men who are the best in this business. One of whom, pinned me last night. So be it. That match featured me and four men who wanted to maim and hurt me. But I walked out of the match with a paycheck and still holding my Championship.

“What I do know is this. I will walk out of the event Wednesday with the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship.”

MO: “Finally, you’re on quite a losing streak for a World Champion. Any comments on that?”

SF: “I am undefeated in the last four months in title matches.”

MO: “Any final comments? Perhaps a new catchprase?”

SF: “Sure.”

Fulton turns directly to the camera.

SF: “I’m Stan Fulton. The best overall talent in this business. Which is all that really matters.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

Serious Female Journalist #14 tracks Crowing down sparring at a back streets gym in a run down part of Guatemala City

SFJ#14: Crowing, could I have a moment?

Crowing looks up and takes a stiff shot to the jaw from his local training partner. He blocks the follow up kick, shoots for a double leg takedown and transitions neatly to side control and taps his sparring partner with a kimura. He makes the international signal for 'take five' and rolls out of the ring.

Crowing: (wiping blood from his face) Yeah, sure. Go for it.

SFJ#14: Well, you've been strangely quiet since End of Days...

Crowing: What do you want me to say? I'm hefty pissed off at being screwed out of meaningful wins by the New Guard? I have Evans beaten and Folz tosses him some knuckles. I have Sparxx beaten for the Onslaught title and his skank of a girlfriend gets the match thrown out for a bullshit decision. Last week, I have Sparxx pinned and Folz hits me with a chair...

SFJ#14: That's pretty much what we'd expect. yeah...

Crowing: Well I prefer not to bitch and whine about what's passed. The fans known I had Evans beaten, that I've effectively beaten Sparxx twice in a row and Selena knows it too. I've already submitted a request for a rematch with Sparxx, perferably with an uncorruptible official and with all New Guard members banned from ringside. I don't know, a cage match or something, I'm not picky.

What I AM a bit pissed about is being placed in a meaingless mid-card match, tagging with Mai again...

SFJ#14: You seem to be getting on well with Ms Muyo, showing some good tag team chemistry...

Crowing: I don't deny that. She's a tremendous competitor, a hard worker and our styles mesh well. I just don't want to end up getting dragged into the Muyo-Quinn-Darling maelstrom when my main aim is winning titles. As it is, I'm at peace with Moose, on good terms with Firewoman, cordial with Alex and remarkably OK with Stank. My aim is solely fixed on the New Guard, Sparxx in particular and I don't appreciate being diverted from that.

SFJ#14: So you're denying you have a chemistry with Mai...

Crowing: No, but I am saying that I don't have the time for such an attachment at this point...

SFJ#14: ...and you'll be treating this week's match more as training than a serious contest.

Crowing: Don't be ridiculous, I might be on the face side of the locker room but that doesn't mean I'm in any way against smacking Chad & Zane around if it improves my ranking. Apart from that, I would never short change the fans of Guatemala City by phoning in a second rate performance. I'll come out and lay it on the line, like I do every week and try to seciue the win for my team while guaranteeing the best damned wrestling match on the card. Now, if I happen to run into Folz or Sparxx around the arena... then things might get messy, but in the ring I let my skills do the talking. Now, if you'd excuse me...

Crowing's sparring partners have returned from the locker room and he rolls back into the ring and locks up with a fresh competitor...

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the Destroyatorium, where we find El Lobo Sangriento…

ELS: …

ELS: …

ELS: …

ELS: Wait, that’s it?

Voiceover Guy: Yep.

ELS: But, the intros are usually much longer and more descriptive than that.

VG: True.

ELS: So what’s the deal?

VG: No deal.

ELS: Dude. What the fuck is the problem?

VG: No problem.

ELS: Well what am I supposed to do here? You usually launch me right into promo mode. You set the scene, the mood – everything. How am I supposed to promo without any of that stuff?

VG: Lobo?

ELS: Yes, Voiceover Guy?

VG: You’re already promoing.

ELS: Whoa.[/Keanu] Okay then, I guess it’s on to business. Last night at Mayhem, I made the Champ submit. I caused Fulton to tap out. It was my doing that the Crusher quit. You get the idea. In the process, I debuted my new submission finisher: the WOLF MOON, which I came up with all by myself in my own head. Yep. I suuure did.

ELS: I also got to go toe-to-toe with Ghosthead again. God, I hate that guy, but there’s no denying we’re magic in the ring together. Once again: anytime, anyplace. I’m always down for that fight.

ELS: Next Mayhem, I’ve got myself a six-man tag match. My boy Danny. My countryman LD. Us versus them. The Right Guard versus the New Guard.

VG: Um, Lobo? “Right Guard” is trademarked. You can’t use it.

ELS: The…Border Guard? The Imperial Guard? The Guardian Angels? Fuck it. Danny, LD, and Lobo are going to Mayhem to kick some New Guard ass. Evans, Sparxx, Crusher – you guys had better be rea—wait, LD & D & D?

VG: Don’t get fixated on it, Lobo. Just move on.

ELS: Fine, fine. You guys had better be ready to absorb some punishment come Wednesday night, because this wolf is ready to howl. Wolfpack out.

*FADE*

[BookerShark]

CUT to the OOWF Donovan Viper Memorial Hallway of Random Encounters™ sponsored by Cialis® where an RNSFJ approaches YOUR OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton.

SFJ66: "Stan! Did you see Lobo's promo?"

SF: "Yes. Yes I did."

SFJ66: "Did you have any response?"

SF: "Sure."

Fulton turns towards where he thinks the camera is, but ... somehow ... he's off by about five feet.

SF: "Lobo, yes you can honestly say you made me tap out. So what. There was nothing on the line last night that would make me keep fighting you. Like there's nothing on the line Wednesday night.

"Let's set the record straight. I have a title. You do not. And that's all that really matters."

Fulton walks away as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

Stan Fulton walks down the hallway from his interview...and bumps into Mai Muyo. Mai extends a hand.

Mai: Thank you.

Stan looks down at Mai. He takes her hand and shakes it.

Mai: Positive prognosis for long-term recovery.

Fulton: Good.

Mai: Did you get my message?

Fulton: I did.

Mai: Are you free to talk now?

Fulton: I am. Duck outside for a minute?

Mai: (looks at the camera overhead) Sure.

Mai and Fulton exit.

FADE

[BookerShark]

GM Selena is at Catering (GM's get hungry too) when a random SFJ (let's call her Shiela) comes up to her.

SFJS: Miss Selena...

Selena sniffs the air like she used to, but then remembers she's GM and decides to be professional.

GMSa-T: What can I do for you?

SFJS: I was wondering if I could get an interview?

GMSa-T: Sure, what's on your mind?

SFJS: Well, first I was wondering if you saw what Bridgette said?

GMSa-T: Omigosh, I'm so sick of her. I wish I could fire her.

SFJS: Well, she is correct that you have enemies of the New Guard facing each other instead...

GMSa-T: Seriously? Well, I should expect this from Texpress. I'm giving a new tag team the opportunity to face one of the supposed greatest tag teams of all time, the so-called "measuring sticks" of the tag team division, and they have issue with it. Well, sorry I'm giving a tag team a shot to be something. I'm sorry Texpress doesn't want to give another tag team an opportunity. Deal with it.

SFJS: What about the claims that you favor the New Guard?

GMSa-T: Look, I try to be unbiased, but the fact is they have most of the Championships. Champions do get preferential treatment. It happens in all sports and definitely in all wrestling federations. And you know what else? They aren;t the ones bitching at me every five seconds. They set a goal, they go for it, they usually get it. Everyone just bitches over and over and over again. I ban backstage attacks. People bitch. I end the ban, people get their butts kicked, and people bitch. I'm not your baby sitter. You take care of your business on your own. I will give everyone an opportunity to do what they want or need to do. But I can't do it for you. Go out there. Show me something. Earn it. Stop playing politics. Stop whining. That what you wanted?

SFJS: Thank you Miss Selena.

GMSa-T: It's MRS. al-Takriti. And you smell like a skank, now go on before I fire you.

Sheila leaves as Selena finishes making her sandwich with a sigh.

[BookerShark]

~~~ Like a good SFJ, Sheila goes backstage to find Bridgette. And she does. ~~~

SFJS: So Selena just said..

Bridgette: I saw shug, let me clear things up. We never complained about facing new teams. That's part of the business Chad and Zane actually like. We had issue with Last Weeks' booking of the Trios match

SFJS: But... they won?

Bridgette: But if you go back and watch last week's show, we made the comments well before the match occurred. Our problem is with the booking decisions being made. It might not be as blatant as it looks, but Selena, hon, people in your position have to not only avoid impropriety, but they have to avoid the appearance of impropriety to be truly effective.

As for "playing politics" You've made that the only choice we have. If you truly gave people the opportunities they earned, then the team with the most wins this season, the top ranked contenders, would have long ago earned a championship opportunity.

But that's Ok. because your built-in excuse for not doing so will soon be gone. I'll be meeting with the Board of Directors tomorrow. They're bringing in an arbitrator. I'll let you know what they say.

[BookerShark]

*Nonpoint's Skin blasts throught the loudspeakers and Stank walks out to the ring followed by a loud pop and ovation from the crowd. Stank slides in under the bottom rope and rises to his feet, a mic in his hand. Let's listen.*

Stank - Against my better judgement I am out here alone to address our World Heavyweight Champion. Really Stan? As usual you have it wrong. You may have heard others compare the New Guard to The Five, but you ain't never heard ME say that shit. All you've ever heard me say is that you and your group are NOTHING like The Five. A comaprison is your obsession, not mine, so let's just get that straight. As for being a hypocrite... please.

What you and your bitch buddies did to Outback Jack and Davin Moreland is a DAMN sight different than Firewoman superkicking Eco and watching a firepot accidentally fall on him and his batshit insane ass not doing a damn thing to save himself.

*The crowd applauds their agreement.*

Let me tell you what I would NOT do. It's no secret that there is no love lost between Eco and I... but unlike those PUSSIES in the New Guard...

*There's a buzz in the crowd that serves as Stank's only warning. Before Stank can finish his statement, he turns, and is violently introduced to a STEEL CHAIR smashed down over his head by MATT FOLZ! Stank falls in a heap as Folz beats the big man unmercifully with the chair while Stank writhes in agony before the assault. Folz flings the chair to the side and puts on a pair of BRASS KNUCKLES. He mounts Stank and begins beating on him drawing blood from Stank's forehead.

The crowd pops huge as Ghosthead makes his way down the ramp.... slowly.

It doesn't seem Ghosthead is in any hurry to rescue his brother. The crowd's ovation turns to loud boos as it dawns on them that Ghosthead doesn't appear to be here to help Stank.

Meanwhile... Folz continues to beat on Stank who is unable to protect himself due to the initial onslaught from the chair and the relentless strikes from the brass knuckles. Stank now sports a crimson mask. Matt finally looks up and notices Ghosthead making his way to the ring apron. Folz rises to his feet and slowly backs away from Stank's body, as Ghosthead climbs up on the apron, and enters in through the ropes without taking his eyes off Matt. The New Guard enforcer decides he's had enough fun and rolls out under the bottom rope, on the opposite side of the ring. He circles around and backs his way up the ramp with the brass knuckles raised up high, the crowd booing the ever loving shit out of him the whole way.

Ghosthead never takes his eyes off of Folz as he turns and watches Folz leave. Only after Folz has disappeared behind the curtain does he look down at his fallen brother. Ghosthead cocks his head to the side as he studies the blood flowing from Stank's head while the big man struggles to sit up. Ghosthead doesn't make a move to help. Instead he walks casually away and exits the ring. Ghosthead walks back up the ramp with his back turned to his injured brother rolling over in the ring. With blood flowing down his face, the OOWFatron catches Stank lifting his head up and glaring at his brother as Ghosthead reaches near the top of the ramp and leaps off to the side, disappearing into the shadows, as the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

“So is this how you intend to help me Psykle? Is this how you want me to control my rage?” You think by putting me in an Onslaught Rules match, that I will be less violent, less destructive, less dangerous? Please, delude yourself further. Here let me help. ‘I cannot function within the restraints of those rules. I have no chance of beating you’
My rage is MY CHOICE. I am capable of containing myself in a wrestling ring. I am capable of being the straight man. I am capable of all of it. I just don’t like it. Therefore, when I have the choice, I choose not to. Apparently Wednesday, I don’t have a choice. Regardless of the rules, you WILL

FEEL

MY

PAIN!”

[BookerShark]

~~~ Fade to inside the InterContinental Hotel in Guatemala City. A Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist stands outside a door labeled ‘Conference Room.’ ~~~

RSNFJ: This must be very important. They’ve been in there for hours.

~~~ As if on cue, the doors swing open and numerous men and women in business attire come filing out. The last one out is Bridgette ~~~

RNSFJ: So , what happened here today?

Bridgette: Well, as I mentioned yesterday, the Board was here and we’ve come to a negotiated settlement about Texpress, The Flyin’ Hawaii’ans, and The World Tag Team Championships.

RNSFJ: Oh?

Bridgette: With the loss of Ecosystem, the OOWF is once again down another tag team. This helped make the Board realize that for the long term health of the division, there was simply no good reason to continue with the current stipulation prohibiting Texpress and the Hawaii’ans from facing each other in tag team matches. So what we came up with was this.

The stipulation barring Texpress/Flyin’ Hawaii’an tag team matches is conditionally lifted.

For the first 6 months there will be a limit of 1 one on one matchup per month.

There will be one exception granted during the first six months, at the General Managers discression.

There may be one exception granted per month if needed to allow for a rematch in case of a Championship changing hands.

After the first 6 months, the stipulation will dissolve entirely, and no restrictions will be placed on either team as long as the Board deems there has not been an escalation of hostilities between the parties.

If either team escalates hostilities, the Board has the right to step in and re-institute the ban as they see fit.

RNSFJ: Wow. So when is the first match?

Bridgette: Booking decisions are still left to the General Manager. She now has a little more flexibility when it comes to the Tag Team Division. This week is set. Honcho and Alan won the number one contenders spot, so they’ll be the focus for a little while. That’s just fine. But when that has played out, I know she’ll look at the rankings, see what’s going on, and do the right thing. She’s a good kid, and is under a lot of pressure.

RNSFJ: Uhh.. She is?

Bridgette: People misunderstand things. I don’t dislike Selena. I don’t like some of the things she does, but that doesn’t mean I hate her. She needs to be a bit more diligent in certain areas. But really, I think her heart is in the right place even if her head isn’t. Now, excuse me shug, I have got to get back to the arena.

[BookerShark]

~~~ Zane and Chad are inside their dressing room watching some 3 piece Set tapes. As usual, Zane is taking notes, while Chad is barely staying awake. The door opens a Bridgette comes in smiling ~~~

Bridgette: Good news

Chad: We saw. GREAT news.

Zane: Yes, hey Chad, you see that slight pause when he would start the legsweep? I bet we can use that.

Bridgette: Are you almost done? I told you I wanted to go out early tonight for dinner.

Zane: Pretty close.

~~~ Chad takes Zane's notebook and pen ~~~

Chad: I'll finish this. You go with her.

Zane: What?

Chad: Man, she's wanting to go out. She's obviously in a good mood. We got good news. It's your birthday. Go have a good time. Bow chicka wow wow.

Zane: Oh good grief. Will you grow up.

~~~ Bridgette pops her head around the corner ~~~

Bridgette: Come here honey, I want to show you something.....

Zane: Alright.

~~~ Zane sits there for a moment, then his eyes go wide and he jumps out of his seat and heads to Bridgette's door as we fade.... ~~~

[BookerShark]

The fantabulous J-P Sparxx, with his trusty, wonderful, beautiful, and might I say damn sexy girl Jewel, enter GM Selena al-Tikriti's office.

GMS: Knock dude!

J-PS: Yo, I sorry.

GMS: I coulda been like naked or something.

J-PS: You do that in here? Where dose cameras been den?

GMS: What do you want?

J-PS: I wanna lodge one a dose complaints.

GMS: Okay, about what?

J-PS: Dat fool dat's been spittin' shit in ma eyes.

Jewel: Yeah, who does dat? I don't even spit.

GMS: TMI!

J-PS: So whut gon' be dun 'bout it li'l bit?

GMS: First of all, don't call me Little Bit.

J-PS: Sorry sorry, my bad.

GMS: Second, misting is not against our policies.

J-PS: But it's gross an' dat shit burns! KnowwhatI'msayin'?

GMS: I know it does.

J-PS: Oh shit, you been misted too?

GMS: No. But I've done it.

J-PS: Oh, yeah yeah, to dat tomato can Darling. I 'member dat. Dat was cool, knowwhatI'msayin'?

GMS: So, I'm sorry you were a victim of it, but it's allowed and...

Selena looks like she's bout to puke. She grabs her throat and starts to choke.

J-PS: Yo...Selena...you a'ight?

Jewel: She's chokin' baby do sumthin'!

J-P hurries around Selena's desk, 'cuz he's all chivalrous and shit.

J-PS: The Spark's gon' gitcha. I know the Heimlich thing.

Jewel: You cop a feel I kill ya boo.

J-P is about to grab Selena when she turns to him and SPITS RED MIST IN HIS EYES.

J-PS: Ah! Fuck!

J-P falls to the floor clutching his eyes as Selena laughs.

J-PS: Bitch!

Jewel rushes over and helps J-P up. He wipes the mist from his face.

J-PS: Bitch sprayed me!

Jewel: It's okay baby.

J-PS: No it's not! She...what'chya doin' baby?

Jewel SPITS RED MIST IN HIS EYES TOO!

J-PS: AH!

J-P then springs up in the bed. He looks at his girl Jewel sleeping peacefully beside him.

J-PS: Shit. It was all a dream. Phew. Man. I'ma kill dat mutha fuckin' Ghosthead.

[BookerShark]

Attitude Adjuster bursts into a random locker room with a battered former OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline in tow. By lucky coincidence, Honcho Williams is in that room.

HW: How did you know I was in this room? I just moved in here five minutes ago.

AA: It doesn’t matter what room you’re in. I can burst into any room and you’ll be there.

HW: That’s impossible!

AA: Oh yeah? Watch this.

AA walks across the hallway and bursts into the first available door. Honcho Williams is surprised to find himself in that room as well.

HW: How did I get here? I wasn’t in this room! I’m NOT in this room.

AA: Yet you are. Now can we just get on with this promo?

HW: I assume I don’t have a choice.

AA: You are correct. Now then, do you know why we won the tag team showcase?

HW: Because we beat all the other teams and have created a finely tuned tag team?

AA: No.

HW: Because … I don’t know. We beat the other teams. That’s why we won.

AA: Wrong. Do you know why there was a showcase?

HW: Because the fans like tag team wrestling, and we want to make the fans happy?

AA (laughing hysterically): No, no, no. Gawd, no! But you’re cute for thinking that.

HW: Because there’s a lot of good tag teams, and the booker wants to give them an opportunity?

AA: Good try, but no. The showcase was held because the OOWF needs a tag team to defeat The Flying Hawaiians. And you know why they need to be beaten? I’ll answer that. You don’t know. They need to be beaten because they don’t promotificate worth a damn.

HW: Can’t we pretend wrestling is real just once?

AA: No, we can’t. You and I promotificate well. At least I do. You need to get your act together. Which leads me to question number two. Do you know why we have yet to get a tag team title shot?

HW: Because the booker is trying to create interest in the titles changing hands?

AA: No! Man, you don’t ever learn! It’s because for two weeks you and I didn’t promo. And the booker isn’t about to put the titles on two guys who are just as bad at promotificating as The Flying Hawaiians. So he’s waiting to make sure we keep promotificating.

HW: Which is what we’re doing now?

AA: Exactly! So this week, at Midweek Mayhem in Guatemala City, Guatemala (cheap pop!), Aina and Kai, you’re not going to facing two aging legends like Stank and Davin Moreland...

HW: Shouldn’t we be nice to Stank and Moreland?

AA: Hell no! Aina and Kai—and I don’t care which one of you is which, those are both ridiculous names—you’re facing the #1 PROMO TEAM IN THE OOWF, Attitude Adjuster and the former OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline… and my protégé Honcho Williams…

CC Scott: He’s not your protégé. I manage…ah hell, it’s not worth it anymore.

AA (totally ignoring CC Scott): ... and two other people that I don’t think are really material to this angle…in a tag team elimination match for the OOWF Tag Team titles! You can bring your best game. In fact, bring your very best game. But it’s not going to matter because Johnny and I—and Honcho—are going to bring prestige back to the tag team division like the OOWF hasn’t seen since the last time Johnny and I held the titles.

AA slaps Honcho in the chest for no apparent reason.

AA: Tell ‘em, big man!

HW: Umm, yeah! Midweek May...

AA: Oh, dude, sorry, we ran out of space on the camera. Maybe next time. Meanwhile, I have to get former OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline to the doctor. He isn’t looking too good after Moose beat him for the title. That’s OK, though. Johnny told me his schedule was getting a bit tight and he wanted to put more time toward the tag team. See you Wednesday!

With that, AA bursts out the door. Standing outside the door is Honcho Williams.

HW: How did I get here? (mumbling to himself as he walks down the hallway) Next thing I know I’ll be living in a shotgun shack, in another part of the world. I might find myself behind the wheel of large automobile, in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. How did I get here?

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams is in a backstage interview area, and he has a microphone.**

LDW: “Stan Fulton thinks I’m a hypocrite. Fair enough. Believing that a six-on-one beating is different from a one-on-one match makes me a hypocrite? Guilty. Thinking that a premeditated attack designed to end someone’s career is not the same as gaining well deserved revenge for kidnapping and torture makes me a hypocrite? Also guilty. I’ve never pretended to be pure or innocent or even fair.

But comparing the New Guard to The Five? As Stank started to say before Matt Folz decided to commit long-term suicide, we don’t compare you to the Five. You are nothing like us. Not in talent, not in legacy, and not in impact. For all your talk of ‘cleaning up’, every decision you’ve made has left this company a little worse for wear. I’m not going to tell you that the Five had the OOWF’s best interests in mind at all times - we were out for personal gain. But part of that was ensuring we had competition to gain from. When The Five disbanded, the OOWF roster was stronger and more competitive than when we started.

And that’s the other difference between us. The Five chose our beginning, and we chose our end. That is a luxury you won’t have. Wednesday night will be the beginning of the end. Danny. Lobo and LD - the Palindrome - have you in our sights. Are we out for vengeance? Sure. Are we out to prove a point? Certainly. But the biggest thing you have to worry about Wednesday night is the we are simply better than you. You‘re right Stan, you are guaranteed to leave the ring as the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. Hang on to that fact. Clutch it tight. Wednesday night, it’s the only hope you’ll have.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the Destroyatorium, where we find El Lobo Sangriento NODDING~!...

ELS: The Palindrome. Of course. It's so simple. We totally need to get matching tights.

*FADE*

[BookerShark]

Once again, SFJ13 is standing in front of an OOWF Banner. This time however, as the camera comes up she’s already with the person she intends to interview, the OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Psykle. Psykle is all smiles right now, apparently happy with his successful title defense.

SFJ13: Psykle, you seem pretty pleased with your successful title defense against Chris Evans.

Psykle: That I am.

SFJ13: You only won by disqualification though. You still haven’t pinned the former champ.

Psykle: No, I didn’t. You’re right. But do you know what I have done? I’ve shown that he has been instilled with great Fear, and he’s let that Fear creep into the rest of The New Guard.

SFJ13: How so?

Psykle: The New Guard was so afraid that their leader would lose the match, cleanly no less, that they had to run down and interfere and cause the disqualification the second it looked like I MIGHT hit him with the Psycho Driver. Do you know why?

SFJ13: Why?

Psykle: Because they knew if their leader, the first one in their group to lose a singles title, was pinned cleanly in his one rematch, that people would see the weakness that exists in The New Guard, and the Fear that Evans felt caused him to tell his compatriots to attack should it look like that would happen. He instilled his compatriots with great Fear as well. The effects have even begun to be seen in the others. J-P Sparxx, the Onslaught Champion, is having nightmares. Justifiable some might say, due to the crazed events that Ghosthead has put him through, but those nightmares are Fear coming to roost.

SFJ13: Well, now that you’ve successfully defended your title, you have another defense this week against someone you are no stranger to, Ricky Soaring Eagle.

Psykle: Ah, Ricky, once again, you’ve let Rage consume you. You think that the Onslaught rules clause I had added to my contract has anything to do with you? It doesn’t. I came to you with Hope and Compassion, offering to help you eliminate the Rage that consumes you, but you denied that help. I understand, and respect your decision, even if I do believe that it is still the Rage that is consuming you and causing you to make those decisions. However, you need to realize, it is not about Rage, or Fear, or Hope, or Compassion that I invoked the Onslaught Rules clause. No, I did it to showcase Will. The Will of wrestlers to overcome all else, to overcome Rage, Greed, and Fear. The Will of wrestlers to put aside Hope, Compassion and Love. The Will of wrestlers to step in that ring and put on matches of the purest nature. The Will of wrestlers to focus and deliver what the audience deserves.

SFJ13: You’ve shown where you’ve encountered Rage, Fear, Hope and Compassion, obviously you fancy yourself to be representing Will. What about Greed and Love?

Psykle: I thought those were obvious.

SFJ13: Not really.

Psykle: IQ was obviously the personification of Greed.

SFJ13: And love?

Psykle: Do you really need to ask, Sandra?

Psykle leans in, and plants a deep kiss on SFJ13’s lips, as we fade to black.

[BookerShark]

Mai opens the door to Chad's dressing room as he finishes taking notes on the 3 Piece Set tapes.

Chad: Don't you knock before coming in a dressing room?

Mai: (smiling) I didn't think Chad Madison would be staying in on a Friday night.

Chad: Cute. And I suppose you just came out of Bible Study?

Mai: Cute. Congrats on your successful arbitration, Mr. Madison. I don't have no book learnin', but I heard that's a fancy word for lawyerin'.

Chad: You must have picked some book learnin' up from...um....from Juni...

Mai: (ignoring the name) Well, no shit. Note that I speak English. Anyway, I'm feeling rather conflicted about Wednesday.

Chad: Oh?

Mai: Yeah. I mean, you went through all that work to be eligible for a tag title shot...and now Crowing and I will be sending you right back down the rankings.

Chad: With all due respect, ma'am, I doubt that very much. It takes more than two great wrestlers to make a great team. Besides, have you even been watching your tapes? I still see the same weaknesses coming out in your matches?

Mai: ...Is that so? Switching to primarily wrestling men has been a slow transition, I suppose.

Chad: And some of the best in the world at it ply their trade here.

Mai: All right. So you're confident, and you've been watching your tapes, and Zane's out for the night. Interested in going out?

Chad: Excuse me?

Mai: Well, we're in Guatemala City, and I've never been to Zona Viva. So I'm going out to Stratos Discotheque, and I'm sure a nice gentleman like yourself wouldn't be letting a lady go out alone.

Chad: I think you'll need a couple years on you before you get lady status.

Mai: Oh come on. You're only...how many years older than me are you?

Chad: 1983.

Mai: Okay! So that's only...well, okay, nine years.

Chad: Right.

Mai: ...Wow. That doesn't even pass "Divide by Two, Plus Seven." (Pause) Well, whatever. Pretend I'm your sister and be my wingman.

Chad: ...I don't know if I would want to wingman my sister. (Pause) Speaking of brothers to you...um...are you--

Mai: Fine? No. I'm going to go get my bags and try to forget that I'm not fine for a couple hours. You're welcome to accept my repeated invitations or not.

Mai exits, presumably to her locker room.

Chad: ...Huh.

FADE

[BookerShark]

"So now you do NOT want to help me control my supposed rage. You are now trying to get me to.....Overcome Rage and Fear? Put aside Compassion and Love? The only thing I need to overcome is your constant babbling and meaningless words.

Let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR biker bitch, Your words, no matter how eloquent they might be, have no bearing on my life. I will do what I want whenever the fuck I want. Inside that ring I have one goal. Inflicting as much suffering as possible. You have felt my wrath on more than one occasion. This Wednesday, not only will you feel MY pain, you will feel the pain of not having your precious intercontinantal title anymore. I will take it, not for the glory or admiration, but becasue It gives me license to hurt people even more. THAT is MY Will. And it shall be done."

[BookerShark]

The Flyin' Hawai'ians and Noelani are watching OOWF-TV while eating some Mahi Mahi and having a few Longboards for lunch. Attitude Adjuster's promo airs. They all start laughing.

Noe: He's right though, you guys don't nearly get interviewed enough. I should take that up with Selena.

Aina: But she's clearly showing us favoritism.

Noe: Clearly.

Kai is tapping his fingers on the table.

Aina: Bruddah?

Kai's eyebrow arches.

Noe: Oh no. He's got one brewing.

Aina: About damn time bruddah.

Kai: Attitude Adjuster wants the Flyin' Hawai'ians to promo more. He wants to hear what the Kai has to say. Everybody wants to hear what the Kai has to say. The Kai is brilliant. The Kai speaks for the people. Attitude Adjuster speaks for those who eat week old pizza and think a Dutch Oven is a form of foreplay.

Noe: Gross! And he calls promoing promotificating

Kai: He also has to call his gynecologist on a weekly basis. The Kai does not care what that jabroni thinks, says, or does. He thinks he's a legend. The Kai thinks he's a joke. Your biggest success in life is being carried by Johnny Adrenaline your whole career and being the one guy in this company who couldn't get some from Firewoman.

Noe: Oh!

Kai: Attitude Adjuster, be careful what you wish for. Honco Williams, be careful who you align yourself with. The Kai and his bruddah are part of the New Guard. You could be too if you play your cards right. Attitude Adjuster is the card carryin, fart smellin, window peeping, founding member of the overrated Old Guard. So Honcho, bring your candy ass to Mayhem on Wednesday. Attitude Adjuster, bring your lady parts. Step into the ring with the Great Two. And if the Kai and his bruddah don't smack your flash in the pan asses down, I'm sure Alexander Darling and Firewoman will do it. Because you suck. You always have sucked. And you always will suck. IF YA SMELLLLLLLLALALALOW. WHAT THE KAI. IS. SURFIN'.

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is STANDING~! at the Arnold Fitness Expo, at the Muscle Milk booth, signing autographs and posing for pictures with fans. She's wearing black leather pants, a red Muscle Milk tank top, with the letters spelled out in glittery decals, and a matching ball cap, with glittery "MM" on the front. A geeky guy comes up to her to shyly ask for a photo and autograph, but she soon has him more relaxed. She signs the picture and then poses with him. He smiles broadly, and she flexes her biceps behind him (and they look amazing). He walks away to let the next person come into line. The camera pans back a bit to see a highly disguised Alexander Darling standing there with Rooney and Kate Mara. He smiles, watching Fire smile, laugh, and interact with the fans.

AD: You know...a year ago, I didn't think this was possible.

KM: I know, it's all you've been talking about.

RM: Yeah, it's why we cut our plans short so you can come here and lurk in the corner.

AD: This is the Fire I met in Philly.

RM: When is she done?

AD: I thought it was 12 to 4, but it's 5:30 now.

Lucky walks up from where he was at the booth, without really looking, and joins them.

L: Yeah, she's having a blast, and doesn't want to disappoint everyone standing in line. I thought you guys had...plans?

AD: How did you see me? *Lucky smiles* Whatever.

Alexander makes his way across the crowded aisle, two cups of coffee in his hands. The attendants at first don't recognize him, but Lucky follows him and gives them a nod, so they let him in. Alex scowls at him, but then walks up to Fire and hands her a coffee with a kiss on the cheek.

AD: Having fun?

FW: Hey! Oh my gods, coffee. Yes, having a blast. Everyone's so nice.

Another young fan, a girl, comes up and looks at her.

FW: Hi. Do you want a picture?

YF: Is Eco going to be okay?

FW: Huh?

YF: Why did you burn him up?

Lucky and Alexander look around to make some sort of save, but Fire kneels down to talk to the girl.

FW: How old are you?

YF: Eight.

FW: And do people pick on you?

YF: Sometimes.

FW: And you ask them to stop and sometimes they do?

YF: Yeah. But Eco didn't. You told him to leave you alone.

FW: That's right, I did. And he tried one more time, so I made him get away from me. But I didn't want him to burn up. It was an accident and I hope he gets better soon, okay?

The young fan nods and smiles, and her dad takes a picture as Fire kneels down with her. She gives her a picture, signed, and they start to go, when Fire calls the dad back.

FW: You know, she's eight. There's probably better things for her to watch.

The father nods a bit, and leaves. In the meantime, Lucky has successfully communicated to the line behind him that the session was over for the day and handed out 'front of the line' passes for Sunday's session, and some Firewoman sparkly headbands. They leave happy. Fire and Alex walk over to where Kate and Rooney are.

FW: So this is a surprise.

RM: Yes, well, SOMEONE couldn't stop talking about you, so we finally decided you should join us.

FW: Really?

AD: It wasn't that bad.

KM: It was. So we have reservations for dinner at The Top steakhouse, and then there's this neat club called...

FW: Outland?

RM: How did you know?

AD: Fire may have mentioned it from her last visit here. And yes, there are vegan options at The Top, although they thought I was crazy for asking.

FW: Cool. They're having a "Guilty Pleasures" stage show.

AD: A what?

The rest of their conversation gets lost as they move through the crowd and the INCs can't keep up.