OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (03/21) Live! From Possum Trot

[BookerShark]

The fantastic, although lately absent J-P Sparxx is seated in a desk in an old Mississippi school house. Jewel is standing in front of him looking like a hot, slutty teacher.

Jewel: Okay J-P, what happens when you trap a spark inside a confined environment?

J-PS: Das easy teach. It glows an' shit.

Jewel: What else?

J-PS: It gets all hyper an' shit.

Jewel: What else?

J-PS: Gets hotter.

Jewel: Wha...

J-PS: It;s gettin' hot in heeeere! Now take off all yo clothes!

Jewel: Later, now, what happens when you put a crow in a cage?

J-PS: It 'comes a fuckin' pet yo!

J-P stands up on the desk.

J-PS: Crowing, ya dumb ol' bastard! Ya keep comin' back like some stupid bitch. I'ma beat yo punk ass one mo time. Ya wanted a cage? Ya got it!

J-P hops down. Jewel cozies up to him all nice and slutty like.

J-PS: All ya givn' me is anutha weapon ta whip yo overated ass. An' then, maybe, just maybe, I'l be done with yo ass an' on to some real competition. So put dat in yo pipe an' smoke it...yo baby, ya wanna smoke?

Jewel: Sho baby.

J-PS: I'm hot fo teacha.

Jewel smiles and shoves the camera away as they start to make out.

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams watches Moose’s promo on a screen backstage and then turns to the camera.**

LDW: “The first time I used the line “Fear Me” in this company, I was preparing to step in the ring with Moosehead Jack for the first time. Who knew how far we’d go?

Moose, you or He or whoever can claim that I turned my back on you, but the truth is you made a choice. I told you that I wouldn’t - I couldn’t - work with Eco. I said that for years - and you made your choice anyway. What happened from there is on you.

This doesn’t need to be personal, Jack. It could be just a match. But you’ve made it clear that’s not what you’re looking for. You want a fight? You want to prove how tough you are? I won’t tell you to bring your best. I know you’ll bring your best, your worst, and everything in between. Thing is, you’re one of the few who realizes just how capable I am of doing the same. I’ve tried to stay out of your way Moose, but if I have to be the one to beat the sanity back into you, so be it.

You’re right Jack, we were family once. In my eyes we still are. We still will be come Thursday morning. Assuming, that is, that we’re both still breathing.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

GM Selena is WALKING~ and TALKING~ on her cell (thank the gods she's not chewing gum too because that'd just be too much). The Flyin' Hawai'ians and Noelani come upon her.

GMSa-T: I'm gonna call you back. *click* Howzit dudes?

Noe: Don't howzit us!

GMSa-T: O. Kay. What the hell?

Noe: You put them in a match with Texpress! You weren't supp...

GMSa-T: Dude! You're gonna hafta face 'em some time! Besides, the Board changed the ruling. Deal with it.

Kai: The Kai and his bruddah aren't worried like the double stuffed mattress here. The redneck express are washed up, no good, ugly, and not to mention jokes. The Kai does not sweat losers.

GMSa-T: Is that why you guys haven't promo'd much lately?

Kai: No Little Bit, the Kai is focused. The Kai was training. The Kai was trying to understand what life is like for that mute son-bitch Danny Taylor, and would you like to know what the Kai has learned?

GMSa-T: Oh, tell me!

Kai: The Kai has learned that his life sucks and he should take a long walk off a short pier onto a sharp pike!

Aina: Ow.

Kai: Then the Kai will take that pike, turn that son-bitch sideways, and stick it straight up! His candy ass!

Noe: Wouldn't already be up his ass?

Kai: And you would know about that wouldn't you?

Noe: Well, this one time, at hula camp...

Kai: IF YA SMELLLLLLLALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! Wait, I wanna hear this hula camp story?

GMSa-T: No! No! No! Cut the camera!

*fade*

[BookerShark]

Fade in to see Crowing perched Batman-like on the roof of the area, the rain streaked profile of Possum Trot visible in dreich relief in the background. Crowing is wearing a long black leather jacket, which flaps around his ankles in the wind. The rain drops off his long hair and across his face... Sensing the INC he turns to their PoV and begins to speak.

Crowing: So a Crow in a cage becomes a pet and an enclosed spark gets hotter? I suppose I shouldn't be suprised by your knowledge of natural history or basic physics.

A crow which is trapped fights for it's freedom, rending itself and it's assailant to pieces in a struggle for freedom. Crow's only befriend those they CHOOSE to.

A spark which is enclosed goes out, starved of oxygen until all that's left is a whisp of ozone and a memory of a brightness, now faded.

You may think the cage down there in the arena is another weapon to beat me with, but I see it as a barrier between your running buddies and our business. You say you beat me before? I remember you tapping like a girl and me being robbed by a corrupt official, but I guess history shows the bout as a win for you, so I guess I'll let it pass.

What it comes down to, J-P is how far are you willing to go? You won't be saved by count outs, referees waving the match off, or even time limits this week. Recent events have transformed me from a vainglorious fool to someone who sees that what the OOWF needs is a dark reflection of the shiny evil at it's peak. I am the spirit of righteous vengeance, the Morrigan of the OOWF and I'm willing to go to any lengths to start redressing the balance. Are you willing to match me?

Everybody burns J-P, even me and I burn for that title. A Spark burns brightly and then fades, but the hatred in the heart of a Crow burns long, cold and eternal...

Lightning flashes in the distance and lens-flares obscures the screen for a second. When the glare passes, Crowing is nowhere to be seen.

[BookerShark]

Stank - You know what, Crusher...? I think I've had you all wrong. Clearly I have. I've watched you over the last few months commit violent acts of aggression and end careers along with your running buddies. I thought Stan Fulton, The OOWF World Heavyweight Champion... how could he do these things? How could he participate in brutally attacking a man who did him no wrong, didn't so much as throw a cuss word his way, and end the career of another man who played no small role in him gaining the World title in the first place...? and then it hit me.

You didn't want to do those things. You've probably watched the tape over and over again, of your slamming your considerable weight down on Outback Jack's legs, listening to him scream in agony. You've rewatched the attack on Davin Moreland and cringed at the sound of his bones breaking. You watched this and thought to yourself, Jesus, what have I done? How could I have let things get so far out of control? I'm not above hurting someone but... these are men I respect. What the HELL am I doing?

Then you chalk it all up to gang mentality. The New Guard are your gang, and whatever the New Guard wants, they get, regardless the circumstance. You think, I'm part of a group now and their needs outweigh my own. Surely none of this is my fault.

Well Stan the man, I get it. It's all flown off the rails and what's done is done. There's no turning back. You might as well keep up appearances and by the time this is all over maybe, JUST MAYBE... those who used to respect you will come to do so, again.

Wrong.

The fact that you play along with this bullshit in spite of how horrible you feel about it on the inside makes you worse, not better.

This fight between you and me tomorrow at Mayhem was inevitable... and I do mean fight. You see you might win the match and if the match was for the OOWF World Championship, I might give a damn about you winning, but since this is just you versus me... well... fuck a win... I'm going for the kill.

Don't worry about my motivation. Worry about surviving. Maybe I'll leave just enough of you for LD to clean up when he finally beats you for that World Championship?

Don't believe me?

Fade

[BookerShark]

CUT to the New Guard Locker Room, Suites and 24-Hour Deli. Relaxing before his workout is OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton. He appears to be reading a copy of Truman by David McCullough. Yes boys and girls, Fulton knows how to read.

As he’s reading, the next OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Matt Folz, arrives along with the newest member of the New Guard, Mai Muyo.

MM: “Hi, Stan!”

SF: “Mai. Matt. How was the workout yesterday?”

MF: “Good. There’s no way Mai loses tonight against Sharkoff.”

SF: “Just be careful out there, Mai. Sharkoff is full goofed bozo. There’s literally nothing he won’t do. And unlike, Moose, he’s just winging it out there.

“And Matt? All set for Psykle?”

MF: “Definitely. What about you? Ready for Stank? He said he’s going for the kill.”

SF: “Whatever. Stank means nothing. His words mean nothing. If he thinks he’s going to get a rise out of me with his rhetoric, he’s sorely mistaken.”

MF: “Sounds like Stank might be next on our list.”

SF: “You know me, Matt. I just follow along wherever the group takes me. No thought process going on here. Nope. Not a synapse. Dumb as a post. Point me in the direction the group wants and off I go. Must have been that way all along to get within one tag team championship of being a six-pack and grand slam champion. Hur hur hur.”

MM: “Stan, you’re not like that.”

MF: “He knows, Mai. He’s scoffing at Stank’s pathetic attempt to make himself sound relevant.”

MM: “I knew that. C’mon, Matt. I want to go watch Rosario + Vampire.”

Mai grabs Matt’s arm and drags him off to the TV room.

SF: “I can’t believe I work in this shithole.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is WALKING~! down the hall where she runs into Attitude Adjuster and the cardboard cutout of Johnny Adrenaline. I know there's some sort of official name complete with Twitter-thing, but I can't understand Twitter-ese, so there you go.

AA: BABY MOMMA! How ya doin'!!

FW: Uh huh...Get out of my way.

AA: Oh, that's nice talk. You know the way I figure it, you actually owe me.

FW: I do. How do you "figure" that?

AA: Well, it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be experiencing all this wedded bliss.

FW: You're kidding, right?

AA: I'm in fact NOT kidding!

FW: You humiliated me on national television.

AA: I did.

FW: I mean, you could have said something before...Hell, you could have refused to do the ceremony.

AA: I could have done all those things. It's true.

FW: Wait...did I ever get even with you for that?

AA: I don't know. Besides, that was ME getting even with YOU for making me think I was going to be a father and then hitting me with an ultrasound machine in the middle of the ring.

FW: Yeah, but that was ME getting even with YOU for kidnapping Lucky and giving him to the Beast.

AA: It was?

FW: Yes.

AA: You orchestrated all that just because I was mean to your valet?

FW: Yes. And giving me a major beat down in the ring in South Korea. You and...that guy *She gestures to the cardboard cut out*

AA: Yeah, but you didn't do anything to him.

FW: This is fun. Can you get out of my way now?

AA: No!!! *AA makes a show of appearing to communicate with Johnny Adrenaline's cut out*...Oh, now you've done it. You've pissed him off.

FW: I...have?

AA: Yeah, you have! You apparently don't see him as a threat or you would have tormented him like you did me! Foul temptress!

FW: I did though.

AA: Well, he is going to stand RIGHT HERE and not let you pass until you take him seriously!

FW: But I set him on fire.

AA: You did not.

FW: I did. Then Moose initiated the rule of "No Fire." So I had to get creative with you.

AA: I don't believe you.

Attitude Adjuster stands the cardboard cutout in Firewoman's way and then stands back, arms folded across his chest defiantly. Fire just looks at him, rolling her eyes.

AA: Roll your eyes all you want, missy, but he's not letting you pass unless you make him.

FW: I don't have time for this.

Firewoman reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out her trusty Zippo lighter and sets it to the arm of the Johnny Adrenaline cardboard cut out. The same one that she lit on the real Johnny Adrenaline. Attitude Adjuster springs into action, knocking him to the ground to extinguish the blaze.

AA: STOP DROP AND ROLL JOHNNY!!!!

FW: Can I go now?

AA: You'll pay for this!

FW: Probably. Look, you know what would really make me pay?

AA: You know...no, I really don't.

FW: I'll tell you. Drop the gimmick.

AA: Huh?

FW: You've been hiding behind this stupid chicken-shit heel gimmick for how long now?

AA: I'm going to guess seven years, but I could be wrong.

FW: Fine. We've been in the ring before. You can pretend you suck all you want. But you don't. What I'd REALLY like to see is the REAL Attitude Adjuster, not some silly gimmick. Get in the ring for real tonight, no silliness, no tricks, no chicken-shit. Just you and me.

AA: It's a tag team match.

FW: Yeah, it is, and I know Alex, Honcho, and I will bring it. The question is are you going to bring it? Or keep hiding behind a piece of cardboard.

Firewoman walks away. Attitude Adjuster picks Johnny Adrenaline up, slightly damaged, but otherwise in one piece, and wipes him off. But he appears to be thinking about something as he watches Fire walk away.

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Possum Trot, Mississippi

MAI MUYO vs. COMRADE SHARKOFF – Winner Gets a Shot at the DDT Title

Mai and Sharkoff are announced and make their way to the ring. Mai has a funny look on her face and grabs a mic before the bell rings.

Dear Sharkoff…….I wish you no harm. I have plans for Moose…….he sees things not as they are, but as he is told. Taking the DDT title from him will only make that worse……and I am not going to be responsible for that……at least……not right now.

Mai bows and leaves the ring and backs up the ramp. The referee calls for the bell and starts the ten count. Ten seconds later, Comrade Sharkoff wins the match via count out.
WINNER in :10 – Comrade Sharkoff

Sharkoff climbs to the middle turnbuckle and yells at the crowd. With his back turned, the rest of the New Guard storm the ring. Fulton grabs Sharkoff off the middle rope and KILLS him with a RAZOR’S EDGE (we should come up with a name for that…..Bagger 288, look it up.) The rest of the New Guard put the boots to Sharkoff and leave him a bloody mess before finally leaving the ring.

RICKY SOARING EAGLE vs. GHOSTHEAD vs. EL LOBO SANGRIENTO

Everyone gets introduced and comes to the ring, before the bell rings, Psykle makes his way to ringside and takes a seat. The bell rings and Ghosthead and Lobo tear into one another. The two enemies renew hostilities, while Ricky Soaring Eagle wisely remains in the corner and jaws with Psykle. Finally Soaring Eagle gets involved, and the three of them put on a brutal showing. The end of the match comes with Ghosthead on the outside. As he is about to get back into the ring, a masked man grabs him from the crowd and pulls him over the barricade into the crowd. The two of them brawl, and security floods the area, but the masked man slips away. Meanwhile in the ring, Soaring Eagle sets Lobo up for the RETURN TO THE EARTH, but he takes a little too long jawing with Psykle on the outside, and Lobo is able to slip from his grip and take him to the mat and trap him in the THREE WOLF MOON! Soaring Eagle snarls in pain and tries to make the ropes, but Lobo has him trapped good, and finally RSE has no choice, he taps out.
WINNER in 20:16 – El Lobo Sangriento

Lobo leaves the ring, Psykle just gets to his feet and looks at Soaring Eagle and shakes his head. Soaring Eagle gets to his feet and is furious. He goes after the referee, but the ref escapes to safety.

PHOENIX RISING vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER & HONCHO WILLIAMS

Phoenix Rising take it to AA and Honcho. It seems they have finally gelled as a team and dominate most of the match. Honcho, Fire and Alex put on a wrestling clinic, while AA brings the cheating to get the advantage for his team. Honcho POPS Fire with a SUPERKICK and AA sets her up for a PILEDRIVER, but Alex makes the save. Fire, annoyed now, fights back and hits the VOODOO DROP on AA and covers, but AA gets his foot on the bottom rope. Fire tags Alex in, and Alex pulls AA up and is about to go for the DARLING DRIVER when AA slides off his back and rolls him up from behind! What the referee DOESN’T see is that AA has a handful of tights AND his feet on the ropes! Honcho stops Fire from breaking up the pin, and Alex kicks out, but it is a second too late, AA steals one for his team!
WINNERS in 16:11 – Phoenix Rising

LD WILLIAMS vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – Pick Your Poison Match for the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title, No DQ for Moose

LD is out fist, and gets a rousing ovation. Moose comes out next, and is booed out of the building. Moose has no expression on his face at all. LD offers his hand to Moose to start the match, but Moose just turns his back on him, sending a message there for sure. The bell rings, and the two tear into one another. Brutal match, with the two essentially just beating the shit out of one another. After almost fifteen minutes of this, LD lifts Moose for a suplex, then dumps him on the top rope, Moose bounces off the top rope and falls to the floor, smacking his head on the floor fairly hard. While Moose is on the floor, Matt Folz rushes to the ring with a pair of brass knuckles and takes a swing at LD, but LD ducks it pretty easily. What he doesn’t duck is the lead pipe to the back of the head from Sparxx. LD never saw it coming. LD is laid out in the middle of the ring, Moose struggles to his feet on the outside. The referee had started the ten count, Moose makes it, LD does not. The referee waves off the match.
WINNER via LD not being able to answer the bell – in 16:21 – Moosehead Jack

After the match, Stank comes to the ring to check on LD and the New Guard attack. As good as LD and Stank are, 7 on 2 are poor odds and they are soon beat down to the mat. Moose grabs HDB from beneath the ring and is about to come in……to do what, no one is really sure I guess…but he stops and cocks his head. Moose snarls in rage and throws down HDB and heads to the back, holding his head. Texpress, Danny, Lobo and Psykle come to the ring, everyone but Danny has a weapon and they quickly clear the ring of the New Guard before any more damage can be done.

STAN FULTON vs. STANK – Pick Your Poison Match

Security is out again trying to separate the men. They get Stank into the ring, and Fulton manages to slip into the ring behind him and attack Stank from behind. This more annoys Stank than hurts him. The two big men tear into one another and brawl all around ringside, up the ramp, back down the ramp, all over the place. They are both bloody messes. Stank has Stan down on one knee and calls for the STANK U! Before he can hit is, Fulton grabs the referee and tries to explain the appeal of living in Minnesota to him. Meanwhile….Chris Evans…..who had been hiding under the ring the whole time…..comes out and climbs onto the apron, spins Stank around and BLASTS him with a brass knuckle shot to the temple! Stank staggers and grabs the rope, a second one drops him to one knee, a third sends him to the mat. Fulton shoves the referee aside while Evans disappears again, hits the DROPLINE and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 18:44 – Stan Fulton

Evans helps Fulton to his feet, the champ is a bloody mess, and is holding his ribs, and hobbling a little on one knee. Evans grabs a chair, but LD, Texpress, Psykle and Lobo are back on their way to the ring so Fulton and Evans disappear into the crowd.

TEXPRESS & DANNY TAYLOR vs. THE FLYIN HAWAIIANS & CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Campeonas de Trios title Match

After all the attacks that go on….this one never has a chance. The six men brawl around the ring. Danny does everything to get his hands on Evans again, but Evans keeps away from him. Kai and Aina brawl with Chad and Zane, this is just a straight up fight. After a few minutes of this, Fulton, Mai, Folz and Sparxx come out, which only brings out Psykle, Lobo, Stank and LD. A seven on seven war ensues and security comes out and tries to stop it, but they are overwhelmed. Soon enough, the Riot Police are out there as well. Officials start to lower the cage for the Onslaught match and someone throws Sparxx into the ring. They are finally all separated, somehow without the use of tear gas. Just before the cage comes all the way down, Crowing comes through the crowd and slides under the cage into the ring.
WINNERS – No Contest, No Match

JP SPARXX vs. CROWING – OOWF Onslaught Championship Steel Cage Match – Onslaught Rules – No Time Limit

The cage is not in play in this one, it is there to keep people out. That doesn’t keep Sparxx from drawing his three referee warnings from using it to split Crowing wide open. Sparxx dominates a large part of the match, battering Crowing and dropping knees onto the gash on his head. Crowing fights back and gets several near falls after high risk moves on Sparxx, but he can’t quite keep him down. You have to wonder if Crowing is thinking about his last match stopped because of blood loss, thankfully, this is a different referee. The end of the match comes with both men on the top rope fighting it out. Sparxx hammers Crowing with forearms to the side of the head, stunning him. He grabs Crowing and sets him up for a TOP ROPE GEM DROP but Crowing HAMMERS him with elbows to the side of the head and slips off of Sparxx shoulders. They are still on the top rope, and Crowing maneuvers a stunned Sparxx around and hits TOP ROPE RAVENS WING! OH……..MY……GOD!!!!!!! The crowd actually goes silent for a moment, thinking Sparxx just died inside the ring. Jewel is SHOCKED on the outside. Crowing crawls over to Sparxx, drapes his arm across him and gets the one…..two…..three!
WINNER in 47:28 – and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Crowing!

The cage rises, and the New Guard is immediately on the way to the ring, but Crowing grabs his title and slides out of the cage and heads through the crowd. Crowing poses in the crowd, raising the title above his head taunting the New Guard. Inside the ring, they are not pleased.

PSYKLE vs. MATT FOLZ – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Psykle dominates the match early, using his huge size advantage to throw Folz around the ring. But Folz, the wily veteran, capitalizes on a Psykle mistake and takes the big man to the mat where he works his knees, back and neck, keeping the big man down. The crowd cheers wildly for Psykle and he is able to get back to his feet and back into the match. Psykle catches Folz on the top rope and CHOKESLAMS him to the mat! Psykle calls for the PSYCHO DRIVER, but Folz catches him with several kicks to the knees staggering the big man. Folz tries a whip to the ropes but Psykle reverses it and sends Folz to the ropes. Folz holds on and Psykle charges at him and Folz low bridges him sending him to the floor. As Psykle tumbles over the top rope to the floor, his foot clips the referee. As soon as Psykle hits the floor, Ricky Soaring Eagle comes out and BLASTS him with repeated chair shots to the back and back of the head. He throws the chair down angrily and storms to the back. Folz tries to get the big man back into the ring, but he can’t, so he drops him and rolls into the ring and takes the count out win.
WINNER via count out in 22:11 – Matt Folz

Folz grabs the Intercontinental title and stands with hit in his hands. Psykle slowly gets to his feet, sees that Folz has his title and climbs back into the ring, but Folz BLASTS him in the face with it as he is coming through the ropes, then slings it over his shoulder and walks to the back, ducking debris from the crowd.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF MADNESS 8 PPV Live! March 25 from Bucksnort, Alabama. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, March 28th live from Cherokee, North Carolina

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