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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:01:23 GMT -5
<We cut to GM Selena's office where she is watching tape of the Triple Threat Campeonas de Trios title match. The match finishes, and she just shakes her head.>
GMSa-T: Wow, that was...wow. Way to go ref, you failed miserably at your job. I'll deal with you later!
<Selena composes herself a bit>
GMSa-T: Now, I have to handle this mess and to be honest, I knew it was coming one day with these things. Now, to be fair, all nine of you have a claim to those belts. They're so cute with the monkeys on the tricycles! Anyway, I COULD hold up the belts and have a rematch next week. But I don't really wanna. I'm not gonna tie up nine of our wrestlers next week with this issue.
<Selena ponders what to do. She calls to Chuckles and tells him to bring "those" to her. Chuckles walks in carrying all three of the Trios championships. She takes them and struggles to hold all three of them as they're heavy. She then opens the window and drops them all.>
GMSa-T: Or since they bore me, I could just do away with them altogether, which I like better. So...none of you are champs and the championships are suspended until further notice. Smile for the cameras.
"Blow" begins to play again and we fade to black>
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Uniondale, NY
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Chris Evans
OOWF World Tag Team Title Volcano Match[/u]
Texpress vs. The Flyin Hawaiians
Mai Muyo & Stan Fulton vs. Phoenix Rising
Matt Folz & JP Sparxx vs. Danny Taylor & Attitude Adjuster
Rabbit Mask vs. Psykle
Crowing vs. El Lobo Sangriento
Stank vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle
Awesome Bill From Dawsonville & Justin Sane vs. Comrade Sharkoff & Ghosthead
card subject to guido takeover
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:01:50 GMT -5
We are in the Destroyatorium and see Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro sitting at a side table. Danny is playing with Shotglass as Victor appears to be filling out a check.
DVD: I'm not sure this is fair. I said make him tap. He technically said I quit.
Danny throws a glance at DVD.
DVD: Yeah, you are right, not much difference. Well the Spin Hanson Memorial Fund for Injured Wrestlers will appreciate it.
Danny makes the letters O, B, and J.
DVD: Heh, yeah Jack will appreciate it as well. Anyways, you will have another chance to get my money this weak, as you have Folz and Sparxx in a tag match.
Danny makes the motion of dog ears on his head.
DVD: No, you aren't teaming with Lobo. They have you partnered with Attitude Adjuster this weak.
Danny looks confused.
DVD: The New Guard took out your tag partner Jack, and his partner Honcho. I guess they figured putting you guys together would make sense.
Danny contemplates this and then nods in agreement.
DVD: Now, let's get a round and wait for AA to show up.
Danny raises an eyebrow, as if to ask how Vic knows AA will show up. DVD simply points over to the corner, and as the camera follows we see #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline with Cowboy Bob Orton Jr. memorial cast staring at them with a beer taped onto one of his hands.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:02:33 GMT -5
Justin Sane is walking down the Hallways of about to get into some downright nasty Shiaaattttt. He has the OOWF DDT Ironman Heavymetal Title slung over his shoulder (because he does not understand the concept of "belt". He pauses outside of the GM's door and notices the roster lineup.
His eyes widen, as he realises that he is scheduled to compete.
Justin: (patting the DDT belt) Being a champ means I'm moving up in the world. Now who am I defeating this week.
Justin reads the names of his opponents, and his eyes widen in fear. He back away and nearly takes off into a mad rush. As he barrels down the hall he runs (literally slams right into the man) Awesome Bill from Dawsonville.
ABFD: Woah buddy. Slow down little feller.
Justin: Amazing Bob, am I glad I ran into you.
ABFD: Awesome Bill, but close enough. Now what's wrong?
Justin: WE HAVE TO TAG THIS WEEK
ABFD: Well hell Son, that's no reason to panic, that's damn fine news near as I can tell.
Justin: You don't understand, we have to fight A GHOST! I don't even know Egon's phone number, how can I fight a ghost.
ABFD: Don't get your unmentionables in a bind, I doubt the dead are coming back to face us in the ring, we can handle whatever trickery they are trying to pull.
Justin: It's not just a ghost, it's a ghost and SHARK DRACULA!
Awesome Bill from Dawsonville gets a surprised look on his face.
ABFD: That is bad news, luckily I have a secret weapon.
Justin: What?
ABFD: This! (with that he pulls out a bottle of his pine cone party liquor and shows it to Justin)
Justin's eyes widen in awe.
Justin: What is that?
ABFD: This my boy, is the sweet sweet smell of success.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:03:04 GMT -5
<we come to the Hallway of Random encounters where Awesome Bill From Dawsonville and Justin Sane are crouching behind a crate. There is an old fashioned rope trap in the hallway> JS: Ok, uh, what exactly are we doing here? ABFD: Shhhhh.......fruit don't talk.......fruit just listens........and waits <silence passes for a moment> JS: Well what are we waiting for? ABFD: DAMMIT SON! We wait for Shark Dracula and Ghosty to walk by, then we jump out and proceed to whup they ass! JS: Well.......why don't we just do that now? ABFD: <getting frustrated> Cause they ain't all caught up and hangin from the ceiling by they foots JS: <thinking for a minute> Well.........if they are a dracula and a ghost......how we gonna catch them up in a rope? <Awesome Bill seems to contemplate how one would catch a dracula and a ghost in a rope trap, then loses his temper and gets up and kicks over the crate> ABFD: AW HELL! Well what do YOU think we should do? JS: Well.......can I borrow five bucks? ABFD: Uh.......you wantin to borrow some monies to catch that chere shark dracula and ghost? JS: Yes ABFD: Well ok then! <ABFD hands Justin five dollars. Justin puts it in his pocket and just looks at Bill> ABFD: Well? JS: Well what? ABFD: Well that plan wasn't worth a damn JS: <thinking> No, I guess not. We should go ask Danny! He would know how to catch Shark Dracula and Ghost! ABFD: Outstandener than hell <fade> |
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:03:36 GMT -5
*Fade in to the grassy knoll outside GM The Selena's office, where we find El Lobo Sangriento BRUSHING~! debris off of the Trios belts before PLACING~! them in a box and SURROUNDING~! them with packing material then WRITING~! an address on the box. All we can make out is "c/o The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth"...
ELS: I know a couple of guys who would want these.
*FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:04:05 GMT -5
After the bell sounds, the referee retrieves the Onslaught Championship belt from ringside and presents it to Ghosthead in the middle of the ring. Ghosthead reaches out and grabs the belt, but Rabbit Mask grabs Ghosthead from behind and snaps off the Rabbit Driver 2012. Ghosthead lands on his head and crumples into a heap as the Onslaught belt goes flying out of the ring and lands halfway up the ramp. Rabbit Mask then walks over to a downed Crowing and pulls him up by his hair. He puts him right back down with the White Spike, then turns his attention back to Ghosthead, who is now on his knees. Rabbit Mask nails him with a stiff kick to the face, which looks like it may have knocked him out cold. Rabbit Mask heads to the top and wastes no time hitting the Original 810. He spits in Ghosthead's face, then bails out of the ring. Halfway up the ramp, he picks up the Onslaught belt and looks into the center plate, only to spit on it and throw it back down. As he heads to the back, we get a shot of Crowing just now recovering, and a shot of Ghosthead, still flat on his back, with blood flowing from his nose.
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:05:05 GMT -5
Firewoman and Alexander return from their morning run. Alexander collapses into the chair and Firewoman calmly sits down as Lucky hands her her laptop and coffee, without missing a beat.
FW: You should be in better shape by now.
AD: I'm not used to being up half the night and then getting up at 5am for running, like SOME people are.
FW: Fine. I won't keep you up so late then.
AD: I didn't say that...
Alexander smirks at her and reads the morning financials in the newspaper that Lucky has also handed to him, like clockwork.
FW: Lucky...
L: Fire...
FW: What is all.....*points to screen*....this? There's a new file here and it says Wyatt Cox.....why is .... this.... this THIS here?
L: Just some information I found.
AD: Why?
L: I keep a dossier on everyone who Fire has any kind of contact with or chance of contact with.
AD: You do?
L: *shrug* Old habits die hard?
FW: I don't care about some retired has-been with a radio show.
L: I think you should. He's been talking with Selena, and he might be joining our little dysfunctional family, here.
FW: Great. More proof Selena has lost what little mind she had. First the Trios clusterfuck and now this. So?
L: So....so, I don't know. I don't know what it all means. I'm just giving you the information.
FW: Fine. I'll look at it tomorrow.
L: Fiddle-dee-dee, Miss Scarlet?
FW: Huh?
L: Never mind....
The morning routine continues fairly smoothly. Alexander looks over at one point to see Fire's brow furrowed as she looks like she's getting frustrated by something. He decides to intercede before Fire gets a new laptop.
AD: What's wrong....*laughing* "Pookie."
FW: I'm going to kill Evans for even suggesting that word.
AD: Besides that.
FW: Well, there's a holiday coming up...."Mother's Day?"
AD: Oh um.....*he gets up to go over and sit next to her at the table.*. It's not a big deal though.
FW: It looks like it is. I don't see any decorations or anything. Just lots of things about flowers and cards and brunches and guilt-inducing advertisements.
AD: Sometimes you have moments of clarity that are just amazing.
FW: So what do people do?
AD: *sighing* Well....um.....they just.....Fire, I don't think--
Fire gives him a look to which he apparently has never, can never, and will never say "no."
AD: Fine. People call or visit their mothers, give them presents in thanks for all the things they did for them.
FW: Like what?
AD: Well, giving them life would probably be the big one, but, teaching them to tie their shoes, helping them grow up.....
FW: Oh.....
AD: So....it's probably not--
Firewoman abruptly gets up and walks out of the room. Lucky sighs and picks up the phone, probably to call Dr. Freedman, but he's interrupted a few minutes later when Firewoman comes back out, with helmet this time, ready to go.
AD: Whoa, what's the hurry? I haven't even showered yet.
FW: I'm going to Mentor. To see.....her. I'll meet you in Uniondale.
AD: Wait, I'll go with--
FW: I think I need to do this myself.
Fade as Fire walks out the door to go to her motorcycle.
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:16:06 GMT -5
FADE in on the New Guard Suite and Homeopathic Medicine Center. Sitting around talking are nearly everyone of the New Guard. Conspicuously absent are The Flyin’ Hawaiians.
SF: “So where are they, Chris?”
CE: “I have no idea. I’ve been calling their cell phones all day every day and there’s no sign of them. They show up for the shows and it’s like they disappear right past the gorilla position.”
JPS: “Mebbe they’re like ghosts or sumpthin’.”
MM: “Are they still part of the New Guard?”
CE: “Of course they are. As long as they want to be. But until they make an appearance outside of the ring, we’ll have to assume they’re taking a sabbatical.”
MF: “So I’d say that moves Stan and Mai to the top of our tag team ranks.”
SF: “Until Aina and The Kai return. They’re still our number one tag team. And they have a shot on Wednesday for the titles.”
CE: “Fine; until they return. And we’ll do everything we can to get them the titles from Chad and Zane.”
SF: “Now onto the important matter. Chris facing LD for the World Heavyweight Championship.”
CE: “I know you think you should be the one to take it away from LD, Stan, but I’m getting the next shot.”
SF: “Then take it from him. As much as the rest of the company complains about our promo amounts, at least we’re not using a duck.”
JPS: “Yo, Matty and me are taking on the Mute and the Loony.”
MM: “Alan is very odd. Talking to a cardboard cutout.”
JPS: “Man is a few pesos short of a bean dip.”
Everyone just looks at JP in confusion.
JPS: “What?”
CE: “You know, everyone thinks because the New Guard has lost most of the gold...”
Matt pats his Intercontinental Championship title.
CE: “...that we’re going to fall apart. Well we’re going to prove them all wrong on Wednesday. Let’s go out there and hurt our opponents hard. Show that that we’re not laying down and going to slink away. And let’s get some more recruiting going. Stan, you seem to have a connection with Awesome Bill. Talk to him. See if he’s interested in joining us.”
SF: “Not a problem. Darlington is this weekend. I'll invite him over to watch the qualifying.”
CE: “Matt and JP. Make Danny bleed.”
MF: “Already on the agenda.”
JPS: “Wuz gonna do just that.”
CE: “Stan, Mai. Take Alex and Fire down. Hard.”
MM: “A phoenix needs to rise from the ashes before it can fly.”
Mai discretely lights a piece of flash paper and palms her lighter away as the paper flames away.
MM: “Everyone burns. They must burn before they can rise.”
SF: “Oooooooookay. Fire’s never beaten me clean before. She won’t this time either.”
CE: “Alright. We’ve got six days before the Uniondale gig. Let’s make the most of them. The gym’s open. Let’s go.”
The New Guard files out with Chris and Stan falling back by themselves.
CE: “Anything you can give me on LD’s recent tendencies would be appreciated.”
SF: “No problem.”
CE: “As long as the World Title is in our grasp right.”
SF: “As long as LD doesn’t hold it. And that’s all that really matters, doesn’t it?”
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:17:17 GMT -5
*Stank is sitting in his locker room with the DDT title in his hands. The belt plate still shows some traces of Sim Sebow's blood on it despite its recent journey through through two (technically three) title matches and an underwater trip through New York's finest. Justin Sane is fidgeting somewhere in Stank's periphery as the big man is lost in thought staring at the title belt.*
JS - So is he dead boss?
*Stank turns his head abruptly toward Justin Sane.*
Stank - Why the FUCK would you SAY THAT Justin?
JS - Because he's... a ghost.
Stank - A gh- Who are we talking about?
JS - Your brother... Ghosthead.
Stank - Ohhhh... no Justin. Jared is not dead.
JS - Then why is he a ghost?
Stank - That is a long and complicated story... but don't worry. He's a man just like you and me. You hit him hard enough and he will bleed.
JS - Are you sure?
Stank - I've done it plenty so I'm sure.
JS - Ooooh! Oooh! maybe MAYBE if he bleeds it will attract the shark!
Stank - Shark?
JS - And the shark will EAT him!
Stank - What? Justin what the-
JS - Then Amazing Bob and I can just sit back and watch. We wouldn't have to do much after that. We'd win the match!
Stank - I... don't have time for... this... conversation. Here. Take your belt back.
JS - Thanks boss... can I bor-
Stank - Here.
JS - Thanks. I hope you aren't mad your brother is going to get eaten by a shark.
*Stank gives Justin an amused look.*
Stank - It doesn't bother me.
JS - Oakey Dokey.
*Justin grabs his title belt and walks out five dollars richer. As he opens the door Stank sees Firewoman walk by with her motorcycle helmet in hand. Stank rises to his feet and steps out the door, calling after Firewoman's retreating form.*
Stank - Lisa.
*Firewoman stiffens slightly still not completely used to anyone calling her by her real name, but presses on without looking back.*
FW - No time to talk.
Stank - Woman we need to-
FW - I said NOT now!
*Stank exhales through gritted teeth as Alexander Darling scoots past Stank in pursuit of his wife. Alex glances back briefly and a look is exchanged.*
AD - She hasn't heard anything. No one has.
*Stank looks off to the side harshly. He turns his head back toward Alex's increasing stride to catch up with Firewoman. Stank yells.*
Stank - Where is she going?
*Alex yells back over his shoulder.*
AD - To see her mom!
*Stank places his hand over his eyes and forehead, looking down at the floor while shaking his head from side to side, mumbling under his breath.*
Stank - Oh fuck me.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:17:51 GMT -5
Wyatt is talking on his Straight Talk cell phone to the head of the American Sunrise syndication division as he arrives, now in the Sinatra Suite at the Riviera Hotel and Casino
Look, I couldn't help it, I missed my flight back to Las Vegas. Yeah, I was walking down this hallway after Wednesday night's wrestling show and all at once I got caught in this rope trap. Quit laughing. I was stuck there for three hours. The only person that came by was this guy who kept wanting five dollars. I told him I'd give it to him when he got me down, and he kept walking off.
I swear sometimes these events are like a damn Warner Brothers Cartoon. No, when I finally got down I found a bottle of this crap called Pine Cone Party Liquor. NO I WASN'T DRINKING LAST NIGHT! The top of the Mason Jar was off and I spilled some on my cell phone and it ATE A HOLE IN IT! QUIT LAUGHING! I finally got a flight out of New York but by the time I got to Las Vegas it was too late. I had to go to WalMart and get a new phone. Pain in the ass at that hour of the morning. I swear if you don't quit laughing you'll find out how this Pine Cone Party Liquor works as an enema. Look, I'll be on time in the morning. Just let the stations know that it was...mechanical problems getting back to Las Vegas. They'll believe it. Just tell them I was flying Jet Blue. They can't get you there in the same Decade. OK, look, I need to make some calls, I'll talk to you later. OK.
Wyatt abruptly hangs up the phone, then calls another number...
Hi, it's Wyatt. Just wanted to check in. The Doctor called? Yes, give him unlimited access to them. He should be able to solve those "being on the same page" and "Focus" issues they have. Well, they're nervous, they feel pressured. This should get them ready. I plan on being there Friday afternoon. Yes, I got held up in New York. Literally. No, I didn't get mugged, I got Fudded. You won't believe it. I'll tell you later. Just a word of warning. If you ever do any work with the OOWF, just be careful where you walk. Uh-huh. OK, will talk to you later. Chow.
Wyatt hangs up the phone. He sends a text.
"Love, worry I haven't called. Had to hang around NY too long and not by choice. Will call this evening. Lab Kita!"
He puts the phone on the table
...some of these people make the Quinns look sane...
Wyatt walks into the bathroom as we...
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:18:26 GMT -5
Yet another interchangeable RNSFJ tracks Crowing down in an emergency room, being checked over for trauma following this weeks match. We see the doctor checking Crowing's reactions and co-ordination before ticking off his chart and walking off. The RNSFJ swoops in...
RNSFJ: Crowing, can I...
Crowing: No, you can't ask a question, but I will give you what you're looking for. First, I'd like to address the new OOWF Onslaught champion, Ghosthead. You caught me and pinned me straight in the middle of the ring. I can respect that, I hope you enjoy the belt but with all due respect I hope to relieve you of it one day soon.
RNSFJ: That's magnaimous but...
Crowing: cutting her off... I'm not finished. Rabbit Mask. I can understand you're rage at having lost you're title without being pinned. I know how that feels. However, attacking me after the bell when I was down and concussed lacks class. Attacking Ghosthead smacks of petty vindictiveness. Crowing does not forget such an action, and believe me I will have my recompense at your expense, at the time you least expect. Quote me.
Crowing gets up and is about to leave when the clearly ballsy RNSFJ looks for a little more...
RNSFJ: This week you have a match against El Lobo Sangriento. How will you approach that match?
Crowing pauses for a moment, thinking and then breaks into a big smile.
Crowing: Well, I wouldn't have expected a title match again so soon, seeing as I've lost my last two. I wouldn't say Lobo is a friend, but he's been an ally of sorts recently and I've got loads of respect for him. We'll tear the house down with the match of the night and should I prove worthy, I'll walk out with the win and be a step closer to my next shot at the Onslaught belt. Either way, I'll shake Lobo's hand before and after, because the Bloody Wolf is an honourable foe. Now, if you'd care to get the hell out my way, I've got some brutal vengeance to plot...
Crowing pulls his leather jacket off the chair by the bed, puts it on with a flourish and all but vanishes...
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:19:01 GMT -5
*A figure wearing black jeans, white sneakers, and a grey hoodie with cutoff sleeves roams the halls of the OOWF, clutching the Onslaught Championship Title Belt over his left shoulder. White dreadlocks protrude from the darkness beneath the hood, as do words whispered beneath the breath of the man reciting them. The figure pauses upon spying a man wearing a leather jacket walking purposefully through an intersection in the hallway, disappearing around the corner from where the figure observes him. The figure speaks at even volume.*
Ghost - Crowing.
*Chris Crowing returns to the intersection apparently having heard Ghosthead speak his name.*
Ghost - A word?
*Crowing is hesitant at first but he walks toward Ghosthead cautiously until he stands a few paces away. Ghosthead extends his hand.*
Ghost - I believe the rules of an Onslaught match state that the combatants must shake hands before and after the match.
*Crowing looks down at Ghosthead's hand then back over into the darkness beneath Ghosthead's hood.*
Ghost - We were... interrupted... before we could do this, but I intend to honor the rules of this title. I have no issue with incorporating them into my... brand... of crazy.
*Ghosthead reaches up and pulls the hood back from over his head, revealing his full shock of white hair and lack of face paint. Instead he wears a pair of cheap, specialty, white framed, mirrored, Locs sunglasses. Ghosthead once again extends his hand. Crowing surprises himself by extending his own, and shaking the outstretched hand of the new Onslaught Champion. With his free hand Ghosthead removes his sunglasses and stares into the eyes of Crowing through what Crowing can only assume are white contact lenses. A question comes to mind as Crowing releases his grip.*
Crowing - How can you see behind all of that?
Ghost - Perfectly.
Crowing - If you say so. You plan on shaking Rabbit Mask's hand?
*Ghosthead reaches and rubs the back of his sore neck. The skin behind his taped, not seen by Crowing, ribs begins to itch at the sound of Rabbit Mask's name. Ghosthead smiles.*
Ghost - I believe I have shaken him enough. The path to shaking his hand in honorable fashion however is paved with broken shards of glass. I would sooner watch him bleed on that path, than walk it to shake his hand.
Crowing - Aye. So... am I to assume then... the path you walked to shake my hand is... easier?
Ghost - That is entirely up to you. You want to take this title from me... I want you to try... you, or anyone else, including the rabbit. He has incurred a debt I intend to collect.
Crowing - Not if I find him first.
*Crowing turns and continues down the hall as the camera fades.*
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:19:44 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Hallway of Card Postings, where we find El Lobo Sangriento LOOKING~! at the card for Wednesday’s Mayhem. He has a confused look on his face. Under the mask. I mean, I’m assuming he does. His posture looks like he probably has a confused look on his face. Is confused posture a thing? Like, his head is slightly tilted, and he’s tapping his finger on his chin in a conf– hold on, I’ve got it.
*Fade in to the Hallway of Card Postings, where we find El Lobo Sangriento TAPPING~! his finger on his chin in a manner that indicates confusion…(nailed it)
ELS: Hey there, Wolfpack. It’s your old pal Lobo. You might have noticed my confused posture (that’s totally a thing). It’s just that I’m facing Crowing at Mayhem. I was pretty sure he was a face, but I must be wrong. Although, that promo he cut was really respectful toward me, so maybe he is still a face. This is really confusing.
*Lobo leaves the Hallway of Card Postings and makes a beeline for the Hallway of There’s the Guy I Was Looking For, where he immediately sees Crowing…
ELS: Hey Crowing?
C: Yes Lobo?
ELS: You’re a face, right?
C: I am.
ELS: Huh. Well, okay. Thanks.
*Lobo wanders off, clearly distracted. He reaches the door to the arena and heads outside, letting the door close behind him without seeing that Firewoman was right behind him, so she has to catch the door before it hits her in the face…
FW: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks.
ELS: Huh? Oh shit. Sorry about that. I totally didn’t see you there.
FW: (joking) Suuure you didn’t.
ELS: Look, I said I was sorry. I don’t know what else you want from me.
*Lobo storms off and heads toward a local bar. Still distracted, he almost walks right into Dashing Victor Dinero without even realizing that Vic had stopped to talk to him…
DVD: Easy there, big guy. You almost bowled me over.
ELS: Shit. Sorry, man. Didn’t see you there. What’s up?
DVD: Just heading to the Destroyatorium for a drink. You?
ELS: Heading to a bar. The Destroyatorium isn’t set up yet.
DVD: Sure it is. Me and Danny did it the other day. We could have used a hand, now that you mention it.
ELS: Well…you should have asked then.
DVD: We shouldn’t have had to.
*Lobo realizes Vic’s right, hangs his head, and silently walk away, still heading toward the bar. Vic looks a bit confused, but decides to just leave it alone and go about his day. Meanwhile, Lobo has reached the bar. The same bartender who was at the Brooklyn pub where Lobo toasted the memory of MCA is working here. He must have to work two jobs. Poor guy…
Bartender: Hey look, everyone. It’s El Cheapo Sangriento.
ELS: What?
B: A 4% tip? A 4% fucking tip? How the hell am I supposed to feed my kids on a 4% fucking tip?
ELS: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
B: Your tab was $100 that day. You left me a $4 tip after I served your sorry ass all day.
ELS: Dammit. Look, I’m used to Canadian money. Different colours. Lots of coins. Easy to tell apart. I must have left ones instead of fives.
B: Right. I’m sure that’s the case. You know what? Why don’t you get the fuck out of my bar, asshole? I don’t need your cheap ass in here insulting my intelligence.
ELS: Oh, come on. I’m sorry. Really. I’ll make it up to you.
B: Just go.
*Once again, Lobo drops his head and walks away in silence. He sees Danny Taylor approaching and flagging him down, so he stops for a chat.
ELS: And how have I wronged you?
*Danny looks hurt, then puts his hand to his forehead and mimes scanning the horizon, pointing to Lobo when he looks at him…
ELS: You came looking for me? Why?
*Danny mimes taking a drink then pushes the corners of his mouth up with his fingers…
ELS: No, I don’t think even a drink will cheer me up.
*Danny looks shocked…
ELS: Look, Danny, there’s something I have to tell you. I think…
*Danny motions for Lobo to continue…
ELS: I think I might be…a heel.
*Danny looks shocked again for a second, then doubles over in silent laughter…
ELS: What the fuck, dude? I’m serious. I’ve lost my touch for chivalry, I’ve let my friends down, I screwed a bartender on a tip…
*At that last one, Danny instantly becomes deadly serious. He begins slowly wagging his finger back and forth…
ELS: I know. You NEVER tip a bartender poorly. But I did. That’s the guy I’ve become. I don’t think I have any choice, Danny. I think I have to turn on Drink and Destroy and join the New Guard. We’ll have to talk to Selena to set up a tag match between you and I and, say, Evans and Folz.
*Danny is slowly shaking his head…
ELS: Fine. Not Folz. Sparxx. It really doesn’t matter, as long as the stage is set for me to turn on you. It would help if you could accidentally hit me early in the match so I can misconstrue it and use it as a breaking point.
*Danny is still shaking his head…
ELS: Right. I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job. I know you know how a heel turn works.
*Danny puts his hands out, signaling “stop.” He then circles his hand counter-clockwise, indicating that Lobo should hit rewind.
ELS: Start from the beginning? Okay. Well, I’m facing Crowing at Mayhem, and he’s a face.
*Danny arches his eyebrows, clearly urging Lobo to provide more information.
ELS: We have no history. We’re not after the same title. He’s a face. Therefore, I must be a heel. It’s the only thing that makes sense.
*A look of relief washes over Danny’s face. He claps Lobo on the shoulder, turns him around, and leads him back toward the arena, all the while explaining through a series of very complex gestures that sometimes a face fights a face for no other reason than to entertain the fans with a good match. As they reach the Destroyatorium…
ELS: So I don’t have to join the New Guard?
*Danny shakes his head.
ELS: Thank god. I hate those douchebags. Let’s get a beer, eh?
*FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:20:13 GMT -5
We come into a warehouse with a ring set up inside. The camera pans up and we see Kai moving along some ropes strung above the ring with his hands. He drops down into the ring.
Kai: The Kai would like to say a few things. The Kai needs to get some things off his finely toned chest. You'll have the excuse the absense of the Kai's bruddah. He's off somewhere with Noelani getting herpes. So where should the Kai begin?
Sabbatical. Sabbatical was the word used for where the Kai and his bruddah are. Well, this so-called sabbatical is a little thing the Kai likes to call "training." You see, the Kai and his bruddah were ROBBED of their rightful place as tag team champions of the world! And now, the Kai and his bruddah FINALLY have what rightfully ours. The Kai is gonna have the gold around his fantastic waist again!
So, Stan Fulton. Oh great former world champion uh huh! The Kai is sorry that we are not there with you. The Kai is sorry we're not wallowing in our own crap. The Kai is sorry that we are trying to do what the New Guard is supposed to be about and that is being THE BEST at what they do. The Kai is sorry that you are playing footsie with an insane little girl. And most of all, the Kai is sorry about your damn luck!
The Kai was harsh. The Kai has no ill will to his New Guard brother. So let the Kai talk smooth to ya. The Kai understand the pressure you're under in not trying to regain any of the championships you have lost recently. The Kai understand you trying to get some more pie. The Kai likes pie, so he gets it. But Stan, while you're at it, you and Mai do the Kai and his bruddah a favor. The Kai wants you to take a piece out of Phoenix Rising. Knock Miss Thang and her bitch Alex a down notch or two. Show them that the New Guard will not sit idly by while As the Quinns Turns pre-empts the New Guard Variety Hour. The New Guard Variety Hour is so much more entertaining! We have the greatest and best looking tag team on earth. We have Matt Folz trying to not look like a tool as he pimps his belt. We have Chris Evans, our fearless leader, chasing his tail like a neutered puppy. We have a wannabe rapper who seems to have gotten lost in the paper bag we all know he can't rap his way out of! We have our ring rats looking like a cabaret on crack! And then we have Stan Fulton, scouring the globe, searching for his balls!
The Kai was harsh. The Kai is on edge. But remember this one thing, and this goes for everyone watching. The Kai and his bruddah, along with the entire Hawai'ian Nation care about one thing above all the rest. That is being the best at what it is we do. And we will prove that to those steer riding, cowpie eatin, face down in the dirt, soo weeeeeeee Texas dipshits once and for all. And if you don't like it? If you can't handle us being us? Then take a ride in the pipeline and feed the sharks, because THAT is what matters.
IF YA SMELLLLLLALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:21:49 GMT -5
Wyatt is in a sweatshirt and sweatpants with obligatory towel, apparently having left a workout, in the back of a limo, en route to his suite at the Riviera Hotel and Casino. He is on his Straight Talk Cellphone as usual.
Yes, things went well. You've made good progress with them. No, they shouldn't know who I am. Just let them know that I am a friend. Yes, we may have an opportunity coming sooner than we thought. I'll be by again tomorrow, and we'll see what happens. Keep them on the same page, and I suspect this could be it. Get back to your regular workouts and call me later if anything comes up. Oh, that Zevia Ginger Root Beer is awesome! Thanks for turning me on to it. You're welcome, we'll talk later. Bye!
Wyatt hangs up the phone, grabs a piece of paper, and dials another number.
Hey, it's Wyatt. I'll be back in Ely on Sunday. Call Rich Little's publicist, tell him I'm in town and want to come see the show tonight. If all goes well I'll be taking in a local wrestling show tomorrow night and then a meeting Sunday before I come back home. Oh, call advertising and tell them to research a product called Zevia Ginger Root Beer.* I'm going to want a couple of cases at the house and a couple of cases sent to our operative's home here in Vegas. That's it. Oh, and send a dozen roses to Che. She's been so good to get you broken in so quick as producer. I appreciate it. If you have any questions call her anytime. Thanks!
Wyatt hands up the phone and then hits a speed dial
Hello, my love. All is going well here. I gave the new producer some directions, check with him and make sure he knows how to handle it. I'll call later tonight. Yes, my love, I'll be careful. Lab Din Kita.
Wyatt hangs up the phone
I can hardly wait to get back to Ely. I hate this traffic. But it'll all be worth it.
* - Wyatt's Advertising department works fast.....
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:22:50 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is standing in front of an OOWF banner**
LDW: "Wednesday night, May 16, Uniondale, New York, L.D.Williams vs Chris Evans for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Now, if you're a Chris Evans fan - and really aren't we all? - you're saaying to yourself 'Chris made you tap last week. At Wargames he had you locked in a submission hold at the end of the match. If he does that again on Wednesday he's going to take the title. He's going to complete the cinderella story and prove all the doubters wrong.’
You're right.
But a one-on-one title match is a very different thing from a team match.
That's not to take anything away from Chris. He has the ability to beat me. He has the potential. The question is, will he be able to pull it off when it counts?"
"Quack!"
LDW: "Oh and Stan, Stanley says that he can out-promo all of your AWA rejects put together with one wing tied behind his back."
"Quack, QUACK!"
LDW: "In fact, he can out promo the entire New Guard -I think maybe he just did..."
"Quack quack quack quack quackquack QUACK!"
"I'm not even going to translate that."
Stanley's quacking gets louder (and bleeped) as we...
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:23:10 GMT -5
<We cut to the Hallway of Random Encounters where Awesome Bill From Dawsonville and Justin Sane are talking> ABFD: No, what I’m saying is……lookitchere son, you have to diversify your monies, you gotta save, what for the government comin to take all MY HARD EARNED CASH AWAY!!! <ABFD shakes his fist at…..well the government I guess, even though no one is there> JS: Well, I have everything I need here, so money doesn’t matter. I have food…… ABFD: Them old boys feed us? JS: Yes. We have catering. Free food every night ABDF: Every night? JS: Every night ABFD: HELL YEAH! You think they serve up fried possum peckers? JS: I doubt it ABFD: You think they would? JS: I doubt it. Anyway, we have food……we stay in the arena……if we go somewhere they provide transportation……usually ABFD: Yeah but….I mean, that’s nice and all………but what if them draculas win? What then? Draculas don’t eat. They ain’t gonna give you no food. To draculas, YOU is the food! JS: OH NO! ABFD: Damn right! See……here…..lemme show you how transactulatizing monies works for you……let me borrow five dollars…. <Justin hands ABFD five dollars> ABFD: Now, in usury, you charge that sumbitch a fee! When they pay you back, you charge them INTEREST! You make them pay you back six bucks! JS: <thinking for a minute> can you pay back the five bucks you owe me? ABFD: Uh…….yeah sure JS: That’ll be six bucks <Awesome Bill hands Justin six bucks> ABFD: Wait…….I am a little short, can I borrow five bucks? JS: <handing Bill five bucks> sure. Wait…..that was my last five bucks…..can you pay that back? Six bucks <Awesome Bill looks confused and hands Justin six bucks. This continues on for quite some time until Bill throws his now empty wallet down the hall while Justin stands there with a wad of dollar bills, and the original five> ABFD: I JUST GOT PAID AND NOW I’M BROKE! THE MAN LIKES TO HOLD ME DOWN! TAKE THAT! <Bill throws some punches at nothing in particular until he is satisfied that “the man” has been properly thrashed. He is about to say something to Justin when Comrade Sharkoff attacks Justin from behind. Justin hits the floor and Sharkoff covers, but Awesome Bill breaks it up with a boot to Sharkoff’s head before he can get the three. Bill pulls Sharkoff up and slams him into the wall, and they brawl for a minute, then Justin joins the fray. Sharkoff decides that two on one wasn’t good odds and breaks off the fight and takes off> ABFD: THAT’S RIGHT! I TOLD YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH! I’M THE BEST THERE’S EVER BEEN! <silence> ABFD: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN RUN BOY RUN! JS: I think he’s gone ABFD: Hell yeah he’s gone! We’re wilder than hell! Why did that ol boy attack you like that? Draculas is weird JS: It’s because of this <holding up the DDT Title> I have to defend this 24 hours a day 7 days a week ABFD: Even Sunday’s? JS: Seven days a week ABFD: Even at three o’clock in the morning? JS: twenty-four hours a day ABFD: Damn. That title ain’t worth a damn. Hey, you drink Pine Cone Party Liquor? JS: No ABFD: You wanna watch me drink Pine Cone Party Liquor? JS: Sure ABFD: Outstandener than hell <Fade> |
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:23:33 GMT -5
Time passes and we find Awesome Bill from Dawsonville enjoying his Pine Cone Party Liquor, as Justin sits nearby looking at something on the intertubes.
ABFD: Heck boy, I thought we was gunna have some drinks, not play around on the information megaway.
Justin: I'm researching ways to kill Draculas. It says here that fire usually does the trick, but I'm pretty sure she is already booked in another match.
ABFD: I'm guessin that isn't the fire they are talking about. I'm thinking they are talking about this one.
With That Awesome Bill pulls out a lighter and lights it up, he then lets out a belch. The belch hits the flame on the lighter and erupts into a pretty impressive gout (that pine cone party-liquor ain't no joke boy). The gout nails the top of Justin's Mohawk and it begins to smolder. Justin jumps up and quickly begins to smash his head into the wall, smothering the flame.
ABFD: Ahhh hell man, I didn't mean to light you up like that, I was just having some fun.
Justin: It's cool. (pause) Do you think you could do that during a match?
ABFD: Why would I want to do that in a match.
Justin: Well, the rules say you can't set your opponents on fire, but they don't say anything about setting your teammates on fire, and fire is deadly to the Shark Dracula's soooooo.......
Smiles cross both Bill and Justin's faces as the camera
FADES
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:24:18 GMT -5
We come up in the Destroyatorium, and see Dynamite Danny Taylor sitting alone at a table. Suddenly Attitude Adjuster bursts into the room and points at him.
AA: Is this the real life, is this just fantasy. Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see.
Suddenly Dashing Victor Dinero bursts into the room, looking like he has just been ambushed by the new guard again.
DVD: I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low. Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me.....to me.
In a surprise twist, Ecosystem bursts into the bar.
Eco: Mama, I just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead.....Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all awayyyyy...MAMMMMMAAAAAAAA ooooooohhhhhhh didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, Carry on, Carry on as if nothing really matters.
Firewoman crashes in through a window, grabs Eco, and nails him with a Firestomp that kills him.
Fire: Too late, my time has come. Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody. I've got to go. Got to leave you all behind and face the truth. Mammmmmaaaaaa ooooohhhhh I don't want to die. I sometimes wish I never been born at all.
An awkward pause follows, when suddenly Chris Evans bursts in through a back door.
Evans: I see a little silhouette of a man. Scaramouche, Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango?!
The entire rest of the New Guard files in behind him.
New Guard: Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening
At this point, LD, Crowing, Psykle and Lobo file in and join DDT, AA and Fire.
Old Guard: Galileo
New Guard: Galileo
Old Guard: Galileo
New Guard: Galileo
Old Guard: Galileo
New Guard: Figaro, magnifico
DVD: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
Old Guard: He's just a poor boy, from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!
DVD: Easy come easy go, will you let me go?
New Guard: Bismilah! NO we will not let you go
Old Guard: Let him go!
New Guard: We will not let him go!
Old Guard: Let him Go!
New Guard: We will not let him go!
Old Guard: Let him go!
New Guard: Never let him go!
Old Guard: Never let him go! no no no no no no no no.
DVD: Oh mama mia mama mia let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
A complete brawl between the old guard and new guard breaks out with lots of harsh attacks and things being thrown and broken and just general chaos all around.
LD: (to Evans) So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye?!?
Firewoman: (to Alexander Darling): So you think you can love me and leave me to die?!?
Alex: Wait, what, how the hell did I even get here?
DVD: (rushing forward and pointing at Folz and Sparxx) OH baby, can't do this to me baby. Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
The brawl continues, and soon everyone is laid out, except for shotglass. The small dog jumps off of Fultons stomach onto Psykles head, and then onto a table.
Shotglass: Nothing really matters, Anyone can see, Nothing really matters, Nothing really matters to me (Pause as we survey the damage) Anyway the wind blows.
The scene fades out, and then it fades back up and we see Dynamite Danny Taylor and Dashing Victor Deniro sitting at the bar in the Destroyatorium.
DVD: And that is why we don't serve Pine Cone Party-Liquor here.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:24:43 GMT -5
~~~ Chad and Zane are finishing up a workout when Firewoman approaches them ~~~
Fire: So How is Bridgette doing?
Chad: Good. The recovery is right on schedule. She goes home real soon.
Fire: I'm so glad to hear that.
Zane: What are you talking about? Bridgette is in the dressing room going over an endorsement deal
Fire: Not your Bridgette, Chad's Bridgette.
~~~ Zane looks at his partner ~~~
Zane: Who?
Chad: Not me.
Zane: What?
Fire: The other Chad. You know the real one.
Zane: The REAL Chad?
Chad: Come on, partner, you know who she means. Chad, the OOWF Historian and sometimes Writer?
Zane: WHAT are you talking about?
Fire: And I'm not really asking as myself. I'm asking as Professor Kern.
Zane: WHO on God's green earth is that?
Fire: Me. Well, kind of.
Zane: I am all sorts of confused right now.
Chad: Well, you see, in a misguided attempt at humor, Chad, the guy who created us, is promoing about the status of his wife's surgery. Leesa, not Lisa, has been checking in with him for updates, so he's writing this promo where his characters and hers break the fourth wall.
~~~ Zane looks around and realizes he is surrounded by words on a computer screen ~~~
Zane: I really dislike this, you know.
~~ FADE ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:25:08 GMT -5
"Apparently, I have not made my message clear enough. I want Matt Folz. Served up on a platter. His ass is mine. His title will soon be mine.
Danny Taylor has been fighting the good fight. He's the poster boy for this place right now. He's the one that everyone wants to see on top. The fans love him, as does half the locker room
I'm the nobody. I'm the big ugly Indian we should keep away from children. I'm not liked by anyone. And I don't give a fuck about anything.
So I know why Taylor is being pushed above me. I understand it. I also don't like it. I decided I wanted the Intercontintntal Title. And I will have it. If little Matty gets hurt along the way, boo fucking hoo. If the dumb and mute get maimed as a result, I will not mind at all. I welcome the chance to cause more pain
Stank, you felt my pain not all that long ago. Do you really want to feel that again? I'm sure you do. You're big and strong and not smart enough to get the hell out of my way. And I like that. It means I get to hurt you. It means I get to extract more suffering and more misery from your worthless soul.
I will be Intercontinental Champion soon. And I dare someone to stand in my way."
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:25:29 GMT -5
Wyatt is talking on his Straight Talk Cell Phone from what appears to be an Indie Wrestling show in Las Vegas
What? NO. NO. Under no circumstances will we allow Pine Cone Party Likker to be a sponsor. For starters it's only legal for sale in 14 states, and most of those as a Paint Solvent. I Don't CARE what anyone says, the cross-promotion deal doesn't cover that. Absolutely not! I DID NOT! That was Zevia, a soda, not an alcoholic beverage! Look, I'm busy. Kill that deal and I'll talk with you tomorrow afternoon.
Wyatt hangs up the phone
All they care about is their 15 percent. Oh, hello again...
Two tall figures approach Wyatt as we...
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:25:59 GMT -5
Crowing exits a locker room and heads down the Hallway of Random Encounters, smiling broadly. He sees Psykle coming the other way...
Crowing: Hey man, I'm sorry.
Psykle:(stops, looking confused, glancing around perhaps expecting to get attacked) Um, what for?
Crowing: For the mess, and maybe for messing up your training this week. Anyways, have a good one...
Crowing claps Pyskle on the shoulder in a companionable fashion and continues down the hall, whistling a jaunty tune. Psykle shrugs and keeps on going, entering the locker room which we now see has his name on the door.
The INC follows and we see Psykle standing with a shocked look on his face amidst a scene of considerable destruction, with Rabbit Mask dangling upside down from one of the closets with one leg trapped in the Tree of Woe. A severely battered steel chair is lying on the floor and blood is dripping from beneath his mask.
Psykle sighs, pulls out his cellphone and dials a number.
Psykle: Hi, Miss General Manager... you might need to see this.
End scene.
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:27:08 GMT -5
At the OOWF Arena, a thin young man is huddled in the corner. He's wearing all black and has badly dyed black hair with a red swoosh in it. He appears to have black smeared eyeliner on, and jumps when he hears Firewoman approach.
FW: Hey, Continuity...you okay?
Con: Yeah...it's just...well, you left for the weekend and then it's like...you were here. I'm so confused, and Kayfabe has been yelling at me. I'm supposed to keep you all in line with this, and ...
FW: So instead you're just going to sit in the corner, cutting?
Con: Yeah.
FW: Look, we've been over this. I just put in a "moments ago, or days ago" or something in my promo, you snap your pale little fingers as best you can with all your silver gothy emo rings on them, and TA DA! Continuity is restored. Got it?
Con: *emosigh* Okaaaay.....
SNAP!
All of that stuff clearly happens once Fire gets back. Right now, though it's Mother's Day and we fade into a lovely home. It's Davin Moreland's mom's home. And it's full of the kind of commotion you'd expect from a 2 year old AND a retired wrestler in a Hoverround. Speaking of, Davin Moreland is SITTING~! on the porch, drinking his Dunkin Donuts coffee. A motorcycle roars in the distance. A few minutes pass, and then Mickie comes running out.
M: Spahkle! Spahkle!
DM: What?
Mickie jumps in Davin's lap and he turns and rolls back into the house.
The remnants of Mother's Day breakfast are still on the dining room table, but he sees Firewoman and his mom sitting at the table. Mrs. Moreland is pouring Fire some coffee.
DM: Oh, Sparkle!
M: Spahkle!
FW: I gave her a sparkle head band.
DM: Great. That's what every two year old needs. Why are you here?
FW: It's not because I miss you.
DM: Do too.
MrsM: Davin. Don't be rude. If I had had my way, we'd have adopted her years ago.
DM: I know, I know....
FW: If I can ask.....why didn't you?
MrsM: Well, we were starting the paper work at the end of that summer. I mean, you needed to go to school, and they wouldn't let me enroll you since I wasn't the guardian. Besides, Davin liked having you around...
DM: I did not.
MrsM: ...and I thought it'd be good for him to have a sibling so he wouldn't grow up a spoiled brat.
FW: We see how that worked out.
DM: Shut up, squirt.
MrsM: *laughing* Anyway, then your mom came back, and took you, and I did try to figure out how to find where she went, but that cost money, and we just didn't have it....I still wish I had done more.
FW: Well....it's okay.
DM: I wasn't trying to be rude, I just....wondered why you were here.
FW: I was headed to Mentor...but....I dunno, I guess when I think of home, this is what I think of. So...*she hands Davin's Mom a card*...I got this for you.
Mrs. Moreland takes the card and smiles. It's starting to look like it's about to really be a Hallmark moment, but then Mickie hops down of her father's lap, with sparkle head band on now, and climbs up to the top of a dining room chair, doing the 2 year old version of a Firewoman-esque pose.
DM: Do NOT let Samantha see that.
FW: I think it's pretty awesome.
M: AWE SOME! SPAH-KLE!
MrsM: Stay for lunch, dear?
FW: No, I need to head back. I think there's some publicity stuff to do, and an appearance at a Covenant House fundraiser....but...that's not until tomorrow, I guess. So...sure.
They hug, though not nearly as awkwardly as Firewoman hugs usually are.
M: Momo! Momo!
FW: Huh?
DM: She wants to see your motorcycle.
FW: Oh, okay. C'mon...
Mickie grabs Fire's hand and tries to drag her out the door.
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Post by BookerShark on May 14, 2012 14:27:39 GMT -5
*Still at the Morelands*
Mickie is dragging Fire out the back door towards the garage and Fire's got her head down as she enjoys the time and playing with Mickie's hair. They get to the garage and Mickie jumps up and down...
Mickie: Uncie and Aunty Lex. MAMA!!
Fire acts a little surprised as she looks up and sees the Samantha, Alexis and her husband...
Alexis: She's speechless. Looks like we finally found the way to do that.
Firewoman: But...how...I said...
Alexander: I know what you said.
Firewoman: Then how?
Alexander: Because as much as other people want to act like it's not the truth or that I have some mind whammy on you, I know you better than anyone and as soon as you took a second to slow down and realize what this day was about, I knew you'd come here.
Firewoman: So what did you do?
Alexander: Well, I already knew Lexie was staying at Sam's so I called them and asked them to get me at the airport. Then we went shopping for some presents.
Mickie: PRESIES!!!!!
Samantha: Presents I begged you not to buy.
Alexander: Uncle's rights.
Samantha: Fine. But you get to bring them in and explain them to your brother-in-law.
Alexander: But but but...he sucks.
Alexis: NOTHI...oh, nevermind. I'm just gonna limp my way into the kitchen and help with dinner.
Alexis walks, well hops off on her crutches.
Alexander: *To Sam* How is she, really?
Samantha: Better but missing it. She's rushing to get back so I'm afraid she's going to push too hard. Talk to her please. She needs at least a few more months of physical therapy.
Alexander: I'll do what I can. Did you talk to "her."
Samantha: What do you think? How bout you?
Alexander: Right, because I love getting told how I've ruined this family and how awesome tweedle fuck and twiddle fucker are. Not worth it. They probably blame me for Alexis needing to get away from them.
Samantha: Probably. Anyway, I'll head inside. Don't forget to bring everything in.
Samantha heads off and grabs Mickie's hand...
Mickie: But Uncie Lex said presies...
Samantha: He'll bring them in for you in a second.
They fade out into the house...
Firewoman: I asked how...but why?
Alexander: Because it's important for you to have a family and I'm part of that so I figured I should be here too.
Firewoman: That's sooo...
Alexander: Don't mention it. Besides, I had some ideas to deal with Fulton and Mai and I wanted to get to training as soon as possible. I know Davin has a ring in his basement so we can spend a day or two here before heading towards Long Island.
Firewoman: You are initiating training...you okay?
Alexander: I'm fine, now help me with these bags.
Alex opens the trunk and it's almost overflowing with toys and stuff.
Firewoman: Overboard much, *laughing*
Alexander: No. I just figured Mickie needed her own custom-made Goldie Girl costume and Alexander Darling action figures. Plus her own replica Alexander Darling World Heavyweight Championship Belt. And a life size poster of her daddy tapping out.
Firewoman: He's going to kill you.
Alexander: He'd have to get out of the chair to do it...
Firewoman: Sneaky...
Alexander: I can be. Besides, there's other stuff too. All the big toys and stuff. I had no clue what to get so I got them all.
Firewoman: Nice...
*From offscreen* Mrs. Moreland: DINNER!!!!
Alex and Fire grab the bags and head inside as we...
**Fade**
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