|
Post by BookerShark on Jun 21, 2012 19:08:52 GMT -5
The Chickenshit Heels and Drink & Destroy are sitting in adjoining locker rooms, waiting for Moose...err, OOWF management, to call them for their match.
Stank: I'm bored. I wonder what the Heels are doing.
Stank walks to the adjoining door and knocks. Because it's a false wall, the door falls over. Kayfabe gives up.
JA: What the hell? They're attacking us before the bell! AA, we gotta get busy!
AA: Settle down, Johnny. It's expressly written in the contract that you and FF Capslock don't have to brawl before the match.
JA: Oh, OK. So what are they doing here?
Stank: The wall came down.
AA: The wall's always been down for us.
FFC: I love these guys!
Stank: I'm still working on him.
AA: Yeah, Johnny and FFC have been away too long. Johnny's overly hyped up. Watch this. Johnny, cut a promo!
JA: I don’t give a damn about how much money he’s got and I don’t give a damn if he’s up in his mansion relaxing waiting for his next lead role. I give a damn that he had the balls to stand in the middle of this ring and say that he was back and that he was never leaving again. Yet here I am and we all wonder where is the so-called People’s Champion? Where is the so-called captain of Team Bring It? And if he is the captain of Team Bring It, what are they bringing? A doctor’s note that says he can’t fly all the way to Australia and entertain the WWE Universe? I don’t care if I have to play GI Joe, Fast Five, Fast Six, Godzilla, King Kong and Julius Caesar all rolled into one, I want to be in the middle of this ring defending this championship in front of all of you.
Stank: Was that John Cena?
AA: Yeah. Apparently he's been watching WWE non-stop since he heard about this 500th show, and somehow he's memorized all of John Cena's promos.
FFC: I love that guy!
AA and Stank: Shut the fuck up, Capslock!
Stabk: So what are we going to do until Moose posts our match?
AA: I have an idea.
TCH and D&D huddle together. They look happy.
Meanwhile, in another part of the OOWF 500th Anniversary Show from Indianapolis, Indiana (cheap pop!), The New Guard is in their locker room.
JP Sparxx: Mean Gene, the first thing you need to do is to tell these people to shut up if you wanna' hear what I've got to say... What the hell? Why am I talking like Hulk Hogan?
Chris Evans: Those dirty no-goodnicks AA and Stank must have hijacks out characters again! I hate those guys!
JPS: That's it. I'm not taking this anymore. Let's go show them who The New Guard is!
With that The New Guard stalks out of their locker room. They get about a step out the door when they find themselves face to face with The Chickenshit Heels and Drink & Destroy.
JPS: YOU! (And not in a Hulk Hogan way.)
AA: YOU! (Mockingly, in a Hulk Hogan way.)
CE: THe New Guard is tired of this. We're going to settle this, right here, right now! And it's even better with your two old, washed up tag team partners here.
Stank: Why are there only two of you here? I thought The New Guard had more members.
AA: They probably do. But I was too lazy to look up the other guys while I was writing this.
CE: Can he do that?
JPS: I guess so.
Stank: That's normal for AA. But the reason we're here is we're really getting moody about waiting for Moose to post our match on OOWF. So we decided since we have some time to kill, we'd kill you guys.
AA: Because you suck at promos.
FFC: I love promos!
JA: This Fruity Pebble you’re dealin’ with, I’m not your average jabroni. I’m like a big purple pinwheel, Rock, so go ahead and blow me. And you’re electrifying, yes, but hang with me? That’s just absurd. See now you gotta tell your family you just got schooled by Barney’s turd.
CE: What the hell was that?
AA: He recites John Cena promos. I'm sorry.
CE: And you're attacking us because we have lame promos?
AA: No. We're attacking you because you don't promo. Which is worse than not promoing. Even Lex Luger cuts shitty promos. You guys just leave people high and dry. Therefore...
While all that was going on, Stank found a clangy pole and busts JPS upseide the head. And the brawl is on! New Guard! Old Guard (plus Johnny and FFC)!
Stank: We're not stopping this beatdown until Moose posts our match! Tell him! Now!
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jun 21, 2012 20:00:19 GMT -5
**L.D.Williams is sitting on the turnbuckles in the darkened arena, microphone in hand.**
LDW: “Over the span of three days, almost three hundred wrestlers will step into this ring. With the exception of Underdawg, every last one of them will at some point think to themselves ‘I wish I was getting in the ring with L.D. Williams’
Now, I realize that it’s about the title, not about me, but then again, I am the Champion, so it really is about me…and the more I think about it the more I realize that I am the sane man in the middle of the madhouse…the eye in the center of the storm…the calm around which chaos arranges itself.
I am the beginning and the end of the OOWF…
…the most decorated wrestler in OOWF history…
…the only wrestler to win the Six Pack twice…
…the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion…
…and the greatest wrestler to ever set foot in the ring.
As we close the book on our first five hundred shows, I want the OOWF’s wrestlers, past and present, to think long and hard.
This is the dawning of a new day…a new era…who is going to claim it?
If you want to be the OOWF Champion…if you want to be famous…if you want 2012 and beyond to be known as your era…
Here is your target.
Come get me.
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jun 21, 2012 20:02:02 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 500 Live! From Indianapolis, Indiana <we open inside a sold out Lucas Oil Stadium, over 70,000 people (why not, right?) have come to celebrate the OOWF’s 500th show! A spotlight hits a small stage off to the side, and everyone is asked to rise for the Metal Patriots Rendition of the National Anthem The crowd goes WILD as they finish, and we are ready to begin the show!> Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen WELCOME to the OOWF 500! The 500th show in OOWF History! As always, joining me is former ECW world champion Razz….. Razz: Good ta be here Russ! I gotta say, I never thought we would see this day. 500 shows is one hell of a milestone! Congratulations to the OOWF! Russ: I am also joined by former WWF and WCW world champion Kevin Nash….. Nash: If you would have told me seven years ago that in seven years I would be sitting here, I would have called you insane. Five hundred shows is a lot, seven years is a long time, how they have managed to do it, I will never know Russ: This is a special event folks, we have twenty four big matches featuring every OOWF wrestler who has ever participated in a match with the company. Our first match……well some would call them enhancement talent, some would call them jobbers, I call them part of the OOWF family Razz: Hey, we all started off as jobbers, that is how you learn your trade, that is how you improve. I was the Tazzmaniac, and I was not very good Nash: I wasn’t Razz: Really Oz? Nash: No one is supposed to remember that! Razz: The internet is an amazing place! Russ: This could be the biggest single match in wrestling history…. Tony Schiavone: Hyperbole is MY thing Russ! Russ: No, I mean LITERALLY….. Vince McMahon: They are LITERALLY hanging off the rafters tonight! Russ: No, no Vince they are NOT LITERALLY hanging off the rafters, that is not what it means, I mean this may ACTUALLY be the biggest match in wrestling history Vince: Bigger than Rock vs. Cena? Russ: Go away Vince Razz: Get your popcorn ready folks, because this next match is going to be a doozy Russ: The OOWF has hosted a Jobber Gauntlet and the Jobber Invitational. This match folks, will put all of that to shame. You are about to witness the Jobber Ultra-Royal.
What you see on your screen now is the set up. Four wrestling rings placed corner to corner to form a huge square. Here in a moment, all of the Job Squad will make their way to the rings and begin to battle. If you are tossed over the top rope and onto the floor, you are eliminated. If you get tossed in-between the rings, you are still in the match.
Razz: The OOWF is setting a record for the largest wrestling match known to man. This won’t be a 40 or even 50 man battle royal. This will be a…
Nash: 60? Russ: Keep going Nash: 75? Razz: Still way off Nash: You don’t mean a hundred? Russ: Folks, you are about to witness a 167-man, 4 ring battle royal. Razz: The action here is bound to be wild. We’ll do our best to keep up with it. Here we go! OOWF JOBBER BATTLE ROYALThe bell rings and the OOWF Theme Song blares over the sound system. One by one, all 167 jobbers make their way into the rings. Oddly enough, things stay pretty calm until the bell rings. Mayhem ensues. The various cameras go back and forth trying to keep up with the action. The Four Norsemen go right after the Dracul Brothers. Heated rivals Destructolition and The Bay Bridge Boyz take each other on. Puck Dupp tries the first elimination on former partner Chile Bean Amezaga, but Bean holds on and runs up the apron and jumps in the next ring. Bodies begin flying back and forth across the rings, but for the first few minutes, no one hits the floor. Carl From Fresno stands in between two rings, one foot on each apron and trades blows with Montana Joe in one ring and Moe Zouri in the other. El Gato Furioso runs the ropes and leaps over TWO sets of ropes into the next ring to land a bodypress on Sven Favre! Stanislaus Grobkopf gets the first eliminations as he double-chokeslams Colonel Kway Thu & Colonel Htay Oo on to the floor! The Sun Devil Kid becomes the first person we see to ‘skin the cat’ after Yves Vachon tries to eliminate him. Kid climbs back in and goes right after Cornpone Kenny. The giant Vasco de Gama XVII gets a series of eliminations next. He tosses Steve Young, Montana Joe, Kiwi Joe and Urugauy Jim in sucession with headbutts that echo through the arena. In the next ring, The Four Norsemen are wreaking havoc, putting a four on two beating on The Powers of Spain. Barbariosa and El Warlord manage to crawl under the ropes and into another ring away from the Norsemen. The Norsemen turn around and grab Bishop Blaze and Mike Iktuk and send them tumbling to the floor. On the other side we see ”Champagne” Mike Jablowski dangling by his ankle over the top rope, being held by Dean Krzyzewski, who lets go and eliminates Jablowski. Suddenly, Dean Krzyzewski goes flying out and lands on Jablowski, courtesy of Joba Dent and Joe Strasburg. A second later, Dent and Strasburg land on the floor thanks to Stephen Theismann He stands and smiles at his partner, when he gets dumped out by The Four Norsemen. The Dracul Brothers attack them again and they fall back into the crowd. Quick cut to another corner, where we see Akiru Kitano perched on the top rope, ready to fly, but the ropes get bumped and he tumbles to the apron. As he pulls himself up, Kletus K. Klampitt gets thrown into the ropes by John Obama. The blow knocks Kitano to the floor and out. KKK gets to his feet just in time to be super kicked over the top by Hi-Vo Sakamoto. Tailgunner has Lance Cobain pressed overhead, but is unable to eliminate him, as he gets chop blocked by Zabi Khan. Madman Lindberg grabs Brock McCain and hurls him over the ropes, then does the same to Starfire Huckabee. Camera cut to another ring, where the Norsemen have begun to take control. Strebor Nhoj pulls a piece of paper from his tights… it’s an alphabetical list of all the OOWF Jobbers from oowfwrestling.com! They confer, then Enytsla Nav Nairb grabs a pen and starts checking off names. They then find Chile Bean Amezaga and toss him over the top. One by one, Norsemen disappear into the crowd and grab Curt Anderson, Barbariosa, Berber V, Humphrey Bergman, Kazuki Bienvenidas, Josiah Bird, Sammy ‘Firewater’ Blackfoot, "Blair Witch" Ember Blackpool, Bishop Blaize, Bizmarck Jr., Nigel Boatswain, Break, British Columbian Bulldog, Bear Bryant III, Thomas Builds-The-Fire, Orkut Buyuykkokten, The Canadian Dream, The Canadian Nightmare, Vance Cannon, Bert Clarke, Claw Hammer, Layne Cobain, Brutus Cooper, Yukon Cornelius, Cornpone Kenny, Jerry Cream, Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo, The Dark Prince, “Cheesesteak” Tony DaVida, Dawg the Booty, Hunter, Vasco de Gama XVII, Brodie Delmarva, Alessandro Del Rio, Gravy Donger & Liam Donnelly and hurl them out of the match. Carl from Fresno manages to skin the cat and vanishes into the thinning herd of wrestlers in the rings. They get to the Dracul Brothers, who instead of brawling with The Norsemen, snatch the list away and begin grabbing people out of the crowd themselves. Nigel Anderson Ducksworth the Third, Xavier Dufrense, El Chupacabra, El Gato Furioso, El Gran Diablo Gato, El Warlord, Bulent Ersoy, Sven Favre, Footy Ferguson, Firebird, Ben “Strangla” Franklin, Ignatius P. Freely, Buddy “PS” Gordy & Gorgar all go flying over the top ropes, only Puck Dupp manages to save himself and run the apron and duck in another ring. The Dracul brothers get to Stanislaus Grobkopf, but are unable to toss him over the top. Grobkopf snatches the list and scans it, then single-handedly takes out Erasmus Gumbs, Yousef Hammurabi, W. W. Hayes II, Sum Phat Ho, Hoak Hogin, Hopelessly Overmatched Jobber, Hubert H. Humphrey IV, Ben Ice, Johnny Icepick, Indignity Warrior, The Italian Hellion & Jinx in less than three minutes. Impressed, The Dracul brothers shake his hand. Annoyed at being upstaged, the Norsemen snatch the list and start grabbing guys ten at a time. Then the Dracul Brothers and Grobkopf snatch the list and toss out ten of their own, before long Mick "The Job" Jobberson, Kiwi Joo, Mele Kalikamuka, Joey Keilbasa, Steve “Mongol” Khan, Zabi Khan, Maxwell Q. Klinger, La Parke Del Morte, Gordy “Curling Stone” LaFleur, Tommy Chong Li, Madman Lindbergh, “Superfly” Afa Lofatatupuwanalaya, Mohammed Abdul Malik-Shabaz, Minnesota Mangler, Mr. Manhattan, The Maryland Mauler, Jessup McCullum, Jobber McJobsalot, Connor McNasty, Jordan Michaels, Russ Moore, Mormon Joe, Moshi, Zebu Moto Moto, Fumunda Mung, Ando Nakamura (NAKA), Joking Noah, John Obama, Kamikazi Oh, Optimus Prime Minister, Mossi Oxlade, Apache Rose Peacock, Pawtucket Pete, "The Number Ten" Chad Pennington, The Philly Satanic, Blonde Poor Unfortunate Local Worker, Red Head Poor Unfortunate Local Worker, Preston Davenport Quiggleville III, Rap Master MC Freestlye, The Red Hook, Boog Ripken, The Russian Dreamsickle, Hi-Vo Sakamoto, Salty Dawg, Generalissimo Guido Sarducci, Sicilian Jobber 1, Sicilian Jobber 2, Stanley Savitch, “Hacksaw” Huck Sawyer, Baldr Sigurbjornsson, Bennett Sinatra, Shiva Singh, Josiah G. Skerlock, Oubonlamphanah Souphanousinphone, Spazz, Doug E. Springfield, Mikey Springfield, Kurt Staley, Starfire, Steve the Viking, Tailgunner, Taipei Viper, Akiru Tornado, Ultimate Dingo, Yves Vachon, Mikael Van De Jong, Holmes Van Der Beek, Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich, Karl Von Krush, Baron Von Oregon, Colonel Sherlock Wainright, Yokozuna Wanaleya, Wulf Warhammer, “Yukon” John West, Perry "Icebox" Williams, “Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard & Moe Zouri are all eliminated. Left in the rings are the Norsemen, Dracul Brothers, Grobkopf, and in the ring across from them, Puck Dupp, Carl From Fresno, The Sun Devil Kid & Matty Alouette are all in various states of consciousness. The other 8 begin brawling and quickly Tavian Dracul is tossed to the floor. Radu Dracul follows quickly. Vlad Dracul gets tossed into the other ring, and the Norsemen gang up on Grobkopf. Meanwhile Carl from Fresno snags Vlad and flips him over the top. After a mighty group effort, Stanislaus Grobkopf is eliminated. The Norsemen celebrate, then are face to face with Carl, Puck, Matty & SDK. They go face to face, when a murmur through the crowd is heard…. And a Mysterious Masked Man runs into the ring. The other eight men stand back in shock as he slowly takes off his mask. It’s…… Noraa D Dahc, the FIFTH NORSEMAN! The fight is on, and Matty Alouette takes the tumble to the floor. The Sun Devil Kid is sent flying, but he manages to grab Nostag Ydna and eliminate him as well. The remaining Norsemen toss Puck Dupp over the top, but his foot gets caught on the bottom rope and only his hands hit the floor, he begins the task of gingerly working his body back up on the apron. It’s now 4 on 1 against Carl. A gang attack ensues and they bend Carl backwards over the ropes. He catches Ressued Samoht in a head scissor, and as he tumbles, eliminates a second Norseman. Carl catches himself on the apron and despite the kicking from the remaining members, manages to get back under the rope and is still alive. Noraa and Strebor hold against the ropes for a big boot from Enytsla Nav Nairb, who gets crotched on the ropes as Carl ducks! Carl pushes him, and down he goes! Carl pops Noraa in the mouth with a superkick and he and Nhoj start battling in a corner. Carl ducks a punch, spins Strebor Nhoj around.. Atomic Drop, and the recoil eliminates the Norseman! Noraa runs up from behind and Tosses out Carl! Noraa D Dahc has won! … No he hasn’t! Puck Dupp is back in and dive attacks the fifth Norseman. As they battle, the camera catches movement… Carl from Fresno landed feet-first ON Strebor Nhoj! He does a Dolph Ziggler Handstand and WALKS UP THE RING STEPS! HE cartwheels to his feet in time to pull the rope down and send Noraa D Dhac tumbling to the floor! We’re down to Carl From Fresno and Puck Dupp! The battle begins, and for ten minutes, we get seesaw action as both men find themselves on the edge of elimination numerous times. Carl throws Puck over a top rope and he lands between two rings on the aprons. Puck laughs, saying he’ll just stay there all night so he can’t be eliminated. Carl super kicks him and he is laid out flat, still between the rings . Carl yells out “Justin” and his IHB Trios partner Justin Sane comes to ringside. Carl pulls out five bucks and whispers in his ear. Justin runs to the back and moments later appears with a running CHAINSAW! THIS can’t be good. He somehow makes it into the ring without killing anyone and hands the power tool to Carl. Justin pulls back part of the ring apron near the unconscious Puck and begins destroying it with the chainsaw! The crowd goes apeshit batnuts! Wood, foam padding and other random debris goes flying! Carl turns it off, and we see there is now a gap wide enough… for a body? Carl drags Puck feet first into the new opening until he is in a standing position leaning back against the other ring apron. A camera, a referee and a flashlight crawl under the ring to verify, and YES! Both feet are on the floor! WINNER, in 1:13:51, CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARL FROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM FRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNO! The crowd Pops wildly as Justin raises Carl’s hand. Fresno collapses in exhaustion, but with a smile on his face, Justin has to help him to his feet and can be heard saying as he carries him up the ramp “I have five bucks, how about I buy you a sandwich?” Russ: What an impressive win for Carl! Nash: Are chainsaws legal? Russ: They were tonight! Razz: I have always thought Carl had what it takes to step up to the next level, this could be the start of something BIG! Nash: Isn’t this the same guy who lost the DDT Title to Cheeseburger Wrapper? Razz: He was hungry Nash: He is always hungry Russ: Gentlemen, at least comment on the match! A 167 person battle royal! That is remarkable! Nash: I wasn’t sure 167 people had ever worked for this company, but really, I mean, there was this time in North Korea where I…….. Razz: Let me guess…..you beat 200 people in a Battle Royal Nash: No……it was 200 people in a Gauntlet Match. I asked to go in first. Match lasted three days. They called me Godzilla after that Razz: Ok, one, no match has ever gone on for three days. Two, Godzilla is a Japanese thing, and three, you couldn’t do anything for three days without blowing your quad Nash: I can be taller for you than three days and not blow a quad Razz: We should move on, out next match, well Russ, you fill in some details on the two participants Russ: Well, Smark is one of the most annoying people I have ever had the misfortune of being around. He makes Michael Cole look suave. He makes Jameison look sophisticated, he makes George “The Animal” Steel look like a fantastic orator. In a nutshell, there is really nothing to like about this man Razz: And the Biscuit returns! Brad Smoley was never the greatest athlete….. Nash: Or an athlete Razz: But sometimes you can’t measure a man by his won-loss record, but rather by his heart…. Nash: Which will no doubt explode five minutes into this match Russ: We haven’t seen Mr. Smoley since his last match in the OOWF, when I believe he was carried out on a stretcher. I would imagine he has fully recovered by now Nash: How will we be able to tell? Russ: Funny. Let’s go to the ringSMARK vs. BRAD SMOLEYAnnoying keyboard clatter plays over the sound system, and the Internet Smark makes his way to the ring. For those of you not familiar with Mr. Smark, he is in his mid-40’s, rather rotund, and thinks he knows everything. As if to prove that, he grabs a mic: I was on 411.com today, and I have read the dirt sheets that I am NOT in the main event! Clearly, the booking committee at the OOWF has no idea what they are doing! They are all smarks themselves, they are in love with the boys in the back, they sit and stare at them in awe and think THEY are one of the boys! I know this industry better than anyone, I should be facing LD Williams for the OOWF World Heavyweight Title! I am trending on…….Before he can finish, “Heartbeat” by Don Johnson plays and Brad “The Biscuit” Smoley makes his way to the ring, albeit with some effort. Mr. Smoley is about 5’6” and 160 very unsculpted pounds. According to his bio, he once threw a drop kick, and blew out his back. Smoley climbs between the ropes and knocks the mic out of Smark’s hands, the referee rings the bell and this one is ON! Smoley lands a few punches, which Smark completely no sells. He pokes Smoley in the eyes and catches him with a low blow that the referee decides to let go. Smark now spends the next several minutes brutalizing Smoley, and if that wasn’t bad enough, he narrates his matches the whole way through. “THIS is how you REALLY apply a LeBell lock!” He does, and Smoley looks like he is going to tap, but makes it to the ropes and forces the break. After several more minutes of this, Smoley is on the floor, bleeding heavily and breathing like a fish out of water. Inside the ring, Smark is criticizing the referee for not doing his job properly. The referee gets in his face, and Smark backs down. Be a Star referee, be a star. Smark reaches between the ropes to grab Smoley, and Smoley reaches under the ring and grabs…..wait……that’s a WHISKEY BOTTLE! Smoley turns around, and in perhaps the most athletic move in his life, he smashes the bottle over Smark’s head! Smark slumps onto the ropes, clearly out cold. I suppose as payback for the low blow earlier, the referee lets this go as well. Smoley tries climbing up onto the apron to roll back into the ring, but he has some difficulty with it. He finally gives up and climbs up the stairs, grabs Smark off the ropes and rolls him up for the one…..two…….THREE! BISCUITMANIA RUNS WILD! WINNER in 10:04 – Brad “The Biscuit” Smoley After the referee raises his arm, Smoley flexes a bit, then grabs his chest. He staggers a bit then rights himself and the referee helps him out of the ring, then helps him take a victory lap around the ring slapping hands with the fans at ringside. This may be the most exercise Smoley has had since the last time we saw him in an OOWF ring. Russ: SMOLEY WON! Razz: I think he needs oxygen Nash: If THAT is what winning looks like, is he REALLY a winner? Dusty: He gets to go to tha pay winda if you weeeeeell, here on tha mothaship! Nash: Open mic night may not have been the best idea Russ: You have to admire a man like Brad Smoley though, clearly his best days are behind him….. Nash: He HAD best days? Russ: …….but he still came out here and gave it his all Nash: THAT I believe Razz: Hey, some of us were not blessed with the gift of wrestling Nash: He was barely blessed with the gift of movement Russ: Moving onto our next match. Uncle Entity is a former Onslaught champion, and for a time, he and Mercury were the top contenders to the OOWF World Tag Team Titles. They face a man who we have seen recently teaming with Attitude Adjuster, and winning the titles, in Honcho Williams. He teams with his good friend, and a man who I believe could have achieved great things in the OOWF if not for a knee injury, CC Scott Razz: This is a case where I have to go with Scott and Honcho, simply because I have seen them more recently. I heard rumors that Entity was wrestling some over in Europe, while Mercury competes sporadically in Mexico and Japan. I hadn’t heard a whole lot about them in a long time though Nash: It’s like riding a bike though. These guys are not exactly old timers. Once you get it, it doesn’t take much to knock the ring rust off. Hell, one time I took seven years off, came back and the first time I stepped in the ring I went an hour with Chris Benoit Vince: Chris who? There is NO ONE named Chris Benoit that has EVER been associated with the WWE! IT NEVER HAPPENED! Russ: Again, get the hell out of here Vince! You can’t whitewash history! Vince: YEEEERRRRRRR FIIIIIIIII ack ack agghhhee Nash: Did you really just squirt BBQ sauce in his mouth? Be a star Russ. Russ: Let’s head to the ringCC SCOTT & HONCHO WILLIAMS vs. UNCLE ENTITY & MERCURYThere have been many tag teams in OOWF history, and Uncle Entity and Mercury were one of them. They make their way to the ring and the hardcore OOWF crowd remembers them, and boos them accordingly. Entity and Mercury huddle in the corner while CC Scott and Honcho Williams are announced. Honcho is making his return to the ring following a particularly nasty, if not fully disclosed, injury sustained after his tag team with Attitude Adjuster split up. Honcho is going to start things for his team while Entity will start for his. The bell rings and we are under way! Collar and elbow tie up, Entity forces Honcho into the corner, the ref asks for a clean break, but Entity hammers Honcho with clubbing shots to the chest instead. Entity snapmares Honcho out of the corner and tags in Mercury. Mercury charges into the ring and nails Honcho with a running knee to the face, then covers him for a one count. Entity and Mercury show surprising teamwork and keep Honcho in their corner and land several impressive double team moves, but they can’t keep him down for the three count. Honcho eventually fights back and catches Mercury on the top rope and lands a superplex. With both men down, the crowd urges Honcho to make the tag to Scott. Honcho crawls to his corner, and finally makes the tag, just as Mercury tags Entity into the ring. The crowd roars as CC Scott makes it into the match and nearly decapitates Entity with a clothesline. Mercury comes back into the match and gets a clothesline of his own for his troubles. Scott turns to Entity, grabs him and starts to whip him to the ropes, but pulls him back and hits him with a THUNDEROUS belly to belly suplex. Scott covers, but Mercury breaks it up with a springboard legdrop to the back of Scott’s head. Mercury pulls Scott up, and PLANTS him with a DDT, then drags Entity on top of him for the cover. The referee hits the mat and counts, but Scott kicks out at two. Entity pulls Scott to his feet and backs him into the corner and tries to whip him across the ring, but the powerful Scott hangs on. Entity climbs to the middle turnbuckle and hammers Scott with punches to the top of the head, but Scott grabs him, and walks out of the corner and DRIVES him to the mat with a POWERBOMB! Scott covers Entity, but once again Mercury breaks it up with a kick to the back of Scott’s head. The match breaks down a bit here as Honcho comes in and he and Mercury brawl. They fall to the outside. Inside the ring, Scott tries to pull Entity up, but Entity rocks him with a European uppercut, then grabs him and goes for a BRAINBUSTER! But Scott slips over his shoulder and hits a DRAGON SUPLEX! Scott gets to his feet, and Mercury comes into the ring with a chair! He is about to blast Scott, when Honcho makes the save NAILING the chair with a SUPERKICK sending it back into Mercury’s face, sending him out of the ring to the floor! Scott grabs Entity sends him to the ropes and lands the RUSSIAN-CANADIAN IMMIGRATION ISSUE! Entity quickly taps out, and Honcho and Scott pick up the win! WINNERS in 13:31 – Honcho Williams & CC Scott Russ: I am not a doctor, but I would have to say that if both Scott and Honcho are healthy, they could come back and be an immediate asset to the OOWF tag team division. That was a great victory! Razz: Their team work looked sharp, I’ll give them that, but both men have had pretty significant knee injuries, that is a tough thing to come back from. Just ask my boy Chris Sabin, he just came back from one bad knee injury, and he is out once again with another knee injury. Get well Chris Nash: Well, there is also a huge difference between coming back for one show and going through the rigors of a full schedule. The OOWF tours more than any company I have ever seen, that is a whole lot to deal with. Russ: But you do agree that they looked outstanding? Nash: They looked alright, but you said it yourself, Entity and Mercury hadn’t exactly been tearing up Japan either. Razz: I would like to see them come back for one more shot, but if they decide not to, Honcho and CC, we all enjoyed seeing you again tonight Russ: Our next match has the potential to feature some unique match ups Razz: That’s right, in his short time here in the OOWF Sriram was undervalued as a fantastic technical wrestler. Matt Daddy was also no slouch in the wrestling area either. And Jason Shapiro can fly with the best of them. And Shashwat Mishra……well that guy is just crazy! Nash: I have always found that when you are facing diametrically opposed styles, you have to adopt a bit of each style in order to fully come out ahead in the match. I believe it was Guam in 1977, I was facing Abdullah the Butcher, Mil Mascaras and Lou Thesz, I……. Russ: Let’s head to the ring Nash: I wasn’t done Razz: You’re doneMATT DADDY vs. JASON SHAPIRO vs. SHASHWAT MISHRA vs. SRIRAMAll four men are introduced. Matt Daddy goes around the ring shaking hands with everyone, except Shashwat Mishra, he just stares at Matt with a look of disbelief in his eyes. The bell rings and Matt, Jason and Sriram all charge at Mishra and land a triple drop kick that sends him over the top rope to the floor. While Mishra is on the outside the other three take turns hitting scientific arm wringers and firemen’s carries on the other. Several pins are attempted, but no one is kept down for more than a one count. Shapiro races to the ropes and tries a springboard back elbow, but from the outside, Shashwat grabs his legs and pulls him out of the ring, slamming him to the floor. Mishra hammers Shapiro with punches to the face, then throws him shoulder first into the stairs, then follows that up with a running kick to the side of the head. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Sriram and Matt Daddy are going through some classic chain wrestling that has the fans on their feet. Matt Daddy tries for a clothesline, but Sriram ducks it, grabs him and hits a half nelson suplex, dumping Matt Daddy on his head. Matt Daddy rolls out of the ring to the floor to regain his bearings. Sriram gets to his feet in the middle of the ring, and Mishra slides into the ring and locks him in the TAZZMISSION! Sriram struggles and manages to break free, slinging Mishra to the mat. As he gets to his feet, Sriram swings, but Mishra blocks the punch and nails Sriram in the face with what at first appears to be a punch, but Sriram drops like he had been shot, and then we see Mishra has a carefully hidden Abdullah the Butcher Memorial Fork in his hands. He stands menacingly over Sriram, but before he can follow up, Jason Shapiro is back on his feet. He scales the ropes and NAILS Mishra with a perfect missile dropkick and covers for a two count. The four put on a classic four way match for the next fifteen minutes. Sriram brings the technical wrestling, Matt Daddy keeps things completely clean, Shapiro wows the crowd with high flying moves and Shashwat takes every opportunity to cheat and cause mayhem. Mishra busts Shapiro open when they are fighting on the outside. Matt Daddy catches Sriram with the ROLE MODEL for a two count, broken up by the maniacal Mishra. Shashwat pulls Matt Daddy up and catches him with several chops to the throat. The two of them fall between the ropes, where Matt Daddy starts to really fight back, much to the delight of the crowd. They roar as Matt Daddy grabs Mishra by the hair and winds up and BLASTS him with a right to the side of the head. Meanwhile a bloody Jason Shapiro climbs to the top rope and waits for Sriram to get to his feet. When he does, Shapiro tries another missile dropkick, but Sriram moves out of the way and Shapiro crashes and burns. Shapiro gets up doubled over in pain, Sriram lands a ROCKER DROPER, then follows it with the RED FORT (Batista Bomb) then flips him over and locks in the CITIZEN ERASED (crossface sharpshooter)! Shapiro tries to fight to the ropes, and it looks like Matt Daddy is going to make it back into the ring to break it up, but Mishra pulls him back to the outside and they continue to brawl. Shapiro cannot make it to the ropes and he has no choice but to tap out! WINNER in 20:41 – Sriram Razz: I told you Sriram was underrated! This guy really could have been something in the OOWF, he could be right there with other Grand Slam champions Russ: It is unfortunate that his tenure in the OOWF was so brief. For those who don’t know, Sriram had encountered some visa issues that forced him back to India. Once he got there, through circumstances that I am still not fully clear on, he was forced into military service. The last I heard he was thriving in that environment, but we regret that it took him from the OOWF <there is a slight pause here> Razz: Well Nash, isn’t this where you tell us how you shot down the Red Baron in a death match over the skies of Germany? Nash: That was Snoopy Razz: And not you Nash: Don’t be ridiculous Russ: Ok then, moving on Nash: One time I DID fight a Hitler impersonator in front of 160,000 in Berlin though. Addie Bitler. Dude was almost booed out of the building. I sold more merch that night than I had in the previous ten years combined. I am something of a god in Germany Russ: A regular David Hasselhoff. Moving on, our next match doesn’t need much explaining. Austin Cage came to the OOWF to prove himself, and he had only been here a few weeks when Eric O’Mac destroyed his ankle Razz: Yeah, it was a severe dislocation as well as a broken bone or something like that, torn tendons, the whole nine yards. Cage was lucky to walk again, let alone wrestle. He requested this match, it has taken him almost four years to work himself back into shape Nash: And it is a shame that it is going to undo all the hard work he has done in the last four years. Eric O’Mac is not someone to be taken lightly, I talked to him a bit today and he was extremely annoyed that Cage got this match, Eric believed – and rightfully so – that he should be facing LD Williams in the main event Russ: Well be that as it may, this is what he has, Cage will be looking for revenge, Eric will be looking to cement his reputation as one of the most ruthless wrestlers to ever step into the ring. Let’s go to the ring!ERIC O’MAC vs. AUSTIN CAGEThe last time we saw Austin Cage, Eric O’Mac was DESTROYING his ankle. After years of rehab Cage is ready to return to the ring. The two men are announced but before the match can start, Eric grabs a mic: Really? The OOWF celebrates a milestone with their 500th show, and Eric O’Mac, their greatest superstar is reduced to……..this? Cage…..what is your problem? You still mad because I destroyed your ankle? Is this the Powers That Be idea of a joke? I should be headlining the biggest match in OOWF history. It shouldn’t be LD Williams vs. Underdawg, it should be LD Williams vs. Eric O’Mac. The greatest wrestler in OOWF history versus the man that everyone CLAIMS is the best in OOWF history. But that’s fine. That’s cool. You want to send me a message? The OOWF Board of Directors wants to send ME a message? Well get this straight, I am not going to destroy your good ankle Cage, no no no, that would be wrong. I am going to destroy BOTH your ankles punk. Message sent.With that Eric drops the mic and charges across the ring and tries to attack Cage, but Cage is waiting for him and the two throw down, hockey fight style. Eric catches Cage with a knee to the gut that sends him to the mat, then plants him with a short DDT. Eric spends the next several minutes BRUTALIZNG Cage, working over his ankles and threatening to snap them every chance he gets. Eric drags Cage to the corner and sets up for the E. O. MACINATOR (Van Daminator) but Cage rolls out of the way and Eric ends up SLAMMING himself on the ringpost! Cage slips out of the ring and locks Eric on a RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR! Cage breaks at four, just before he would get disqualified. He slams Eric’s leg into the ring post several times, then slides back into the ring, limping badly, and pulls Eric to his feet, grabs his leg and dragon screw leg whips him to the mat, holds onto his leg and traps Eric in the ANKLE LOCK! The crowd roars thinking Cage will get the submission, but Eric is not out of it yet, he rolls through and sends Cage crashing face first into the turnbuckle. Eric gets to his feet and snarls, and says it’s time to end this. He waits for Cage to get to his feet and stagger to the middle of the ring and PLANTS him with the SMACKDOWN! Eric limps to the corner and leaps to the top rope and hits the MAC ATTACK! He covers Cage, and the referee could have counted to one hundred, but pulls him up at two, heads to the top rope and hits a second MAC ATTACK! Eric looks at Cage with disgust, then heads to the top for a THIRD MAC ATTACK! The referee is about to stop the match when Eric gets to his feet and threatens the ref, then leans down and tries to pull Cage to his feet, but Cage rolls him up into a small package, breaks that, grabs Eric’s leg and traps him in the ANKLE LOCK! Eric screams in pain and tries to make it to the bottom rope, but Cage grape vines the leg and falls to the mat! Eric has no choice! His ankle is about to snap so he TAPS OUT! WINNER in 17:47 – Austin Cage Russ: OUR FIRST UPSET OF THE EVENING! Nash: Eric is NOT going to be happy about this Russ: When was the last time Eric WAS happy about something? Nash: That wasn’t the real Eric O’Mac. I compare it to……ok, you know when the high powered college football teams get passed over for a national championship game? They get to some Podunk bowl against Directional State University, and everyone expects them to win the game by 100, and they either lose, or the game is much closer than it has any right to be? That was this tonight. In ten matches, Eric wins this nine times without breaking a sweat. He had his sights on a bigger prize. So Cage got his ten pounds of flesh, so what. He can now go back to toiling in obscurity. I have heard through the grapevine that after an extended tour of South Africa, Eric O’Mac will be coming back to the OOWF. That’s the word Razz: I really can’t believe you are making excuses for O’Mac. He lost. He wasn’t prepared. He took Cage lightly. That is a rookie mistake, and a veteran like O’Mac should know better. He has no one to blame but himself. Russ: It’s interesting that you bring up blame. Out next match features Darius Prentiss teaming with Danny Taylor and the Boardwalk Saints against Chris Evans, JP Sparxx, Bryce Larson and Tyson Kincaid. It is a well-known bit of OOWF history that Prentiss broke Alexis Darling’s arm shortly before he left the OOWF Razz: You have to wonder if that will come into play. I know the Darling’s a little, they are not real big on letting go of grudges or perceived slights. This match could be interesting Nash: Interesting? Evans and Sparxx are teaming RIGHT NOW. And Larson has teamed with both of them. And Kincaid has teamed with Larson. I mean, these four men are very familiar with one another. Has Taylor ever teamed with any of these people? How on earth can Lexie trust Prentiss? This has cakewalk for Evans team written all over it Russ: That is one man’s opinion, let’s head to the ringCHRIS EVANS, JP SPARXX, BRYCE LARSON & TYSON KINCAID vs. DANNY TAYLOR, DARIUS PRENTISS & THE BOARDWALK SAINTSThis match has “out of control brawl” written all over it. Everyone is introduced, DH Magnusson gets a huge pop from the crowd, Alexis Darling, in her first match since suffering a broken neck at the hands of Moosehead Jack over six months ago, gets an even bigger pop. Once the intros are over, Chris Evans stands defiantly in the middle of the ring and points to Danny. Danny walks to the middle of the ring and the two of them go nose to nose. The referee calls for the bell, but neither of them move at all. Finally Evans hauls off and SMACKS Danny across the face! This gets things started. Danny hammers Evans with punches to the side of the head backing him against the ropes. Taylor whips Evans across the ring and elevates him on the rebound with a big body drop. Sparxx, Larson and Kincaid all come into the ring and try to attack, but Danny sends them to the mat with forearms to the side of the head. The four of them huddle outside the ring and seem to replan their strategy. Finally Danny tags in Prentiss and Evans tags in Sparxx. The two of them put on a show of reversals, but eventually Prentiss takes Sparxx down and traps him in a keylock! Sparxx howls in pain, but makes it to the ropes before any permanent damage can be done. Sparxx scurries to his corner and tags in Larson, Larson comes in to face Prentiss, but stops and demands Lexie be tagged in. Prentiss hesitates for a moment, given Lexie’s injury, but she insists, so he tags her in. Larson charges at Lexie and tries a clothesline, but Alexis ducks it with a Matrix move, then leaps in the air and catches a rebounding Larson with a perfect Hurracarana. As Larson pops back to his feet, Lexie pops him on the jaw with a drop kick. Larson gets to his feet again and charges in, but Lexie takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold and reaches up and tags in Magnusson. DH comes into the match and drops an elbow across the back of Larson’s head and covers him, but Tyson Kincaid breaks it up at two. He pulls DH to his feet and catches him with an enzuguri to the back of the head that sends him staggering into the corner. Larson gets to his feet and charges into the corner and boot washes DH across the eyes, then drags him to his corner and tags in Kincaid who hammers Magnusson mercilessly. The heels dominate for a bit, but Magnusson fights back and makes the tag to Danny. Danny comes in and cleans house, but the match, predictably, breaks down into an all out brawl. The fans are eating it up. Danny and Evans are on one side of the ring hammering one another with punches, while Prentiss and Sparxx are once again trading moves and reversals, with neither able to keep an advantage. Sparxx gets tired of it and nails Prentiss with a low blow. Larson and Kincaid are on the outside, Lexie gets a head of steam and charges toward the ropes, DH low bridges the ropes for her and she flies over the top rope and takes out Bryce and Tyson. DH joins her on the outside, as do Sparxx and Prentiss, and the referee finally realizes he has no chance of restoring order and calls for the bell. WINNER – No Contest in 23:32 Russ: Well that was certainly predictable Razz: Way too many combustible elements in that match, you just knew it was going to get out of hand. But I gotta say, it was nice to see Alexis back in an OOWF ring, I had my doubts that she could recover from that broken neck so quickly. Nash: I still can’t figure out why she didn’t exact some revenge on Prentiss for the broken arm. The match is busy, backs are turned, things happen, I’m just sayin….. Russ: Well Nash, some people are capable of forgiveness Nash: Not me. I am still looking for the doctor that slapped me when I was born. Dr. Morganstein I AM COMING FOR YOU! Russ: How bout we move along? Next up, we feature three of the women’s wrestlers in the OOWF Razz: Yeah we are not like those OTHER companies. The women here are not treated like a sideshow, or some burlesque attraction. These women can get in the ring and GO! Nash: I will say, this is the one thing that sets the OOWF apart from other feds that I have seen, they are not afraid to let the women get in there and do their thing, whether it is with other women or men. I remember once I was scheduled to face Mae Young Razz: What happened? Nash: They reconsidered, felt she might be too old Russ: When was this? Nash: Last week Russ: Let’s go to the ringRAVENNA BLUE vs. MAI MUYO vs. AISHAOlympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson is announced and makes her way to the ring. She gets a loud ovation from the crowd because really, Iowa, Indiana, what’s the difference? Shawn will be our special guest announcer for this match. Before I announce the participants, I just want to thank the OOWF for bringing me back. Having to retire from active Olympic competition was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but knowing I have a home here, where I can watch these amazing female athletes compete, well……..it is just an honor to be here. Thank you all so much!Shawn announces them and Mai and Aisha both make their way to the ring to a chorus of boos. Neither one seems to pay all that much attention to it though. Ravenna Blue is announced next and the crowd erupts in cheers for the popular returning star. Ravenna steps between the ropes and offers a handshake to both Mai and Aisha, but both just glare at her. The bell rings, and Aisha and Mai immediately charge out of the corner and attack Rav Mai rocks Ravenna with forearms to the side of the head, then whips her to the ropes and nearly decapitates her with a clothesline. She grabs Rav and pulls her up into a double chickenwing type move, then throws her toward Aisha, who POPS her with a superkick to the jaw! Mai and Aisha show some nice teamwork and decimate Ravenna, finally dumping her over the top rope to the floor while the crowd boos them some more. The two of them meet in the middle of the ring and begin to speak to one another in Japanese. Obviously we can’t make out what is being said, but the conversation quickly becomes more animated, and then punches are thrown. Ravenna slips back into the ring and lands a drop kick to the back of Aisha’s head that sends her crashing into Mai. Mai falls between the ropes to the floor while Rav pops back to her feet and grabs a stunned Aisha from behind and hits a perfect bridging German suplex for a two count. Aisha kicks out and gets to her feet, Rav grabs her and sends her to the corner and charges in, but Aisha catches her with a boot to the face that stops her cold. As Ravenna staggers to the middle of the ring, Aisha climbs to the top rope and leaps, and hits a nice hurracarana that sends Ravenna to the mat and out of the ring to the floor. Aisha waits for her to get to her feet, then gets a head of steam and dives between the ropes and takes her out, driving Ravenna back first into the guardrail. As Aisha gets to her feet, Mai comes around the ring and LEVELS her with a clothesline, then rolls her back into the ring. Mai climbs to the top rope and hits a MOONSAULT on a prone Aisha and gets a two count, but Aisha rolls her shoulder at two. The match continues on and showcases the women of the OOWF. Ravenna shows very little ring rust, Mai shows why the New Guard chose her, mixing technical wrestling with typical Muyo brutality. Aisha shows a marked improvement from the last time she competed and lands several high risk spots and gets several near falls. The end comes when Aisha POPS Mai with a SUPERKICK but then turns around and walks right into an ENZUGURI/RUNNING KNEE/DDT from Ravenna that sends her out of the ring. Mai staggers out of the corner and ducks a clothesline from Ravenna, knees her in the gut and tries a suplex, but Rav slips free, sends Mai to the ropes and hits GLITTERFISTS (spinning fist to the temple) then climbs the ropes and lands DIAMOND DUST! Rav covers, and gets the one, two, THREE just before Aisha can make it back into the ring to break it up! WINNER in 22:44 – Ravenna Blue Russ: Great win for Ravenna Blue! Nash: All three women looked great. And they wrestled well too! Razz: Vince? Nash: Ha ha. Russ: We all know what Mai can do, that is no secret. And we saw what Ravenna could do. I was really surprised with Aisha. Clearly she has been spending her time in Japan training. Much like Scott and Honcho, I would like to see her come to the OOWF full time Razz: And bring Ravenna back too. She doesn’t just bring the skills, that girl might have been the most positive person on the roster Nash: You sure about that? Razz: Positive Russ: Next up is a match I am really looking forward to. For our fans who have been with us since day one, they will remember Hellions as part of the high flying team Hellion and Corax. Hellions was around before there was an Onslaught title, but I believe he and his late partner Corax would have been perfect for that division Razz: This is a real contrast of styles too, Rabbit Mask has all the moves, and he can fly with the best of them, but his attitude, quite honestly, sucks. Maybe getting in the ring with a legend like Hellion will bring back some of that old Rabbit Mask attitude Nash: Why would he do that? If he changes who he is for Hellion, he might as well just go back to Japan and stay there. I am not taking a thing away from Hellion, he is a phenomenal athlete who has kept himself in great shape, but Rabbit Mask is the real deal, and he is right now. Hellion has his work cut out for him for sure Razz: I got this one Russ, lets head to the ring! HELLION vs. RABBIT MASKOld School vs. New School here. Hellion offers his hand before the match starts, but Rabbit slaps him across the face, then turns his back on him and walks back to the corner. Hellion starts to go after him, then regains his composure and waits for the bell to ring. Once it rings, Rabbit Mask charges out of the corner and tries to attack, but Hellion takes him to the mat with a sweet Ricky Steamboat style arm drag, then another, then another, and finally another. Rabbit bails out of the ring and tries to regroup. Hellion charges like he is going to dive between the ropes, Rabbit hits the deck, and Hellion catches himself on the ropes, waits for Rabbit to stand back up, then does a nice backflip over the ropes and takes Rabbit out. Hellion rolls Rabbit back into the ring and locks him in a maghistral cradle and rolls him around the ring then holds him for a two count. Rabbit kicks out then gets to his feet, staggers from dizziness, and falls between the ropes to the floor, which the crowd cheers loudly. Hellion rolls Rabbit back to the inside and we get us a good old fashioned onslaught division type match. Hellions dominates for a bit, but then the ring rust shows up and Rabbit catches him in a mistake and drop toe holds him into the middle turnbuckle. Rabbit takes over and goes on a neck-based offensive, softening Hellion up for the White Spike. Rabbit catches Hellion with the RABBIT DRIVER 2012 but pulls him up at two! What an insult! Rabbit continues on the offensive, but gets a little too cocky and Hellion takes advantage of that with a nut punch while the referee’s back is turned. Hellion rolls Rabbit up, but only gets a two count. Hellion rallies, cheered on by the crowd, and sends Rabbit to the ropes, elevates him, and hits a GO 2 SLEEP as Rabbit comes down! Rabbit Mask’s head snaps back, and he appears to be out of it. Hellion covers, and gets the one….two…..NO! Rabbit kicks out! Hellion argues with the referee, and the distraction allows Rabbit to hit a low blow of his own. Rabbit pulls Hellion up and hits the WHITE SPIKE! He covers Hellion, but Hellion kicks out at two! Rabbit looks annoyed, but heads to the corner and lands the ORIGINAL 810! He covers, but once again Hellion kicks out! Rabbit slaps the mat in frustration. The fans cheer loudly as Rabbit pulls Hellion up and sets him in the corner, but Hellion has a burst of energy and grabs Rabbit and calls for the HELL’S FURY! Rabbit blocks the move, and hits a TOP ROPE WHITE SPIKE! He covers Hellion again, this time hooking the leg, and gets the one, two, three. The crowd is visibly disappointed. WINNER in 18:11 – Rabbit Mask After the match, Hellion struggles to his feet and offers Rabbit Mask a handshake. Rabbit seems to consider it for a moment, then looks out to the crowd who cheers him on. Rabbit hesitates before grabbing Hellion’s hand. The crowd cheers, then Rabbit kicks Hellion in the gut and delivers a THIRD WHITE SPIKE! The crowd boos loudly as Rabbit gets to his feet and heads to the back, ignoring the boos that rain down on him Russ: Sickening. Just damn sickening. Hellion gave Rabbit Mask one HELL of a match, to show that kind of disrespect to an OOWF legend just turns my stomach Razz: You know, normally I would be fine with that sort of thing. I mean if this were any other event, any other night, Rabbit showing who the alpha male was, I get it. But tonight, tonight should be different. Tonight is about celebrating the past. You got a big win over an OOWF great, don’t be a punk about it Nash: I don’t see what was so wrong with it. Look guys, theses guys are just that…..wrestlers. They are not Gods, they are not immortals, they are just guys. Rabbit clearly felt no reason to respect him, and he showed that. Razz: You would be singing a different tune if that were you he was disrespecting Nash: Well THAT wouldn’t have happened. First, no way does he beat me. Hard to disrespect someone when you are flat on your back Russ: It just makes me sick. I want to move on, I will say this though, one day Rabbit Mask……one day you will be in the position that Hellion is in now, and I hope like hell that whatever kid you are facing punks you out just like you did tonight. And I hope I get to sit up here and call it, cause let me tell you, I will enjoy the hell out of it. Nash: Tell us how you really feel Russ: Moving on. Our next match is a veritable who’s who of tag team wrestling in OOWF history. Texpress are currently, arguably, the best team in the OOWF. The Team From Down Under have multiple tag titles to their names, Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt are a legendary team, and the Defenestrators are the Little Team that Could Russ: Could throw you through a pane of glass Nash: Obviously tonight is a night of returns, but this match has a lot of intrigue for me. Harris and Alt haven’t been seen in years, Ecosystem was essentially driven from the OOWF, Voltage hasn’t been seen here in years, Gatorbait hasn’t been seen in forever, since being put on the shelf by Moosehead Jack and LD Williams, and Outback Jack has been out since a brutal assault by the New Guard. That is a lot of ring rust to shake off Razz: It is, but I believe that if anyone can do it, it’s these guys. Russ: Folks this one is going to be a really exciting match, strap in, sit back, and enjoy. Let’s go to the ring!TEXPRESS vs. THE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER vs. DEFENESTRATORS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDERTexpress are out first and get a rousing ovation from the crowd. They sit back in the corner and wait patiently for the rest of the teams to be introduced. First out are Defenestrators, Ecosystem and Voltage. They are booed loudly, but don’t seem to notice in the least. Then the lights go out, and “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” plays, and when the chorus hits, Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt, the longest reigning tag team champions in TNA history, make their way to the ring, and the crowd explodes. Hardbody does not have quite the hard body that he once did. No matter though they get a standing ovation, and the crowd is super hot. Just when you think they can’t get any louder, “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” plays, and the returning Outback Jack and Gatorbait come out to the top of the ramp, and the crowd goes absolutely MENTAL! The Team From Down Under gets a standing ovation from the crowd, and they join the Best Friends Forever in the ring, while Texpress and Defenestrators slip out of the ring, and the crowd bursts into a WEL-COME BACK chant. The four legends soak it up for a moment, then Texpress come in and shake their hands. Defenestrators come in and try the same thing, but no one is buying it. The four teams head to the corners, Hardbody Harris and Chad Madison are going to start things off. They shake hands one more times, the bell rings, and we are underway! Harris and Madison go through some chain wrestling, Harris doesn’t show any of the ring rust that has plagued so many of our other legends, he can still DO the moves, just perhaps not as quickly as he could 75lbs ago. He catches Madison with a drop kick to the jaw, well, chest area, then takes him to the mat with an arm drag and tags in Chris Alt. Altrageous comes in and works over Madison, showing a little more aggression than Harris did. The two of them make quick tags and show why they were the longest reigning TNA tag team champions in the history of the company. Finally Alt whips Madison to the corner and charges in, but Madison slips between the ropes and Alt slams into the turnbuckle. Madison steps back into the ring and grabs Alt from behind and drops him with a neckbreaker, then reaches out and tags in Outback Jack, and the crowd erupts. Jack comes in and drops an elbow across Alt and covers, but Alt kicks out at one. Jack pulls Alt up and backs him into the corner with repeated chops to the chest. Jack whips Alt across the ring and lowers his head a moment too soon, Alt catches him with a kick to the jaw standing him up. Alt bounds off the ropes again and tries a clothesline, but Jack catches him with a belly to belly suplex that drives him to the mat. Alt rolls to a corner and Voltage tags himself in, while Jack reaches out and tags in Gatorbait. The crowd roars for Gator and he comes in and ducks a clothesline from a charging Voltage and catches him on the rebound with a drop toe hold, then grabs his arms, hooks his legs and falls back into a SURFBOARD! Voltage yells in pain, Chad reaches out and tags himself in, climbs to the top rope and hits a WARRIOR STOMP on Voltage! Voltage falls to the mat gasping for air, Chad tag in Zane, and he waits for Voltage to struggle to his feet, then hits a clothesline that almost takes Voltage’s head off. Zane covers, but Eco interferes and breaks up the pin at two. Before he leaves the ring, Eco pulls Zane to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then DROPS Zane on the middle rope throat first with a reverse STROKE! (someone uses that move, but I can’t remember who). Voltage pulls Zane to his feet and hits a belly to back suplex, then tags in Eco. Eco comes in and drops a leg across Zane’s chest, then grabs his leg and kicks the crap out of his hamstring He tags in Voltage and they make a wish and try to tear Zane’s legs off. Voltage then traps Zane in a FIGURE FOUR, but with the crowd’s urging, Zane manages to turn it over and reverse it. Voltage quickly breaks the hold and heads to what he thinks is his corner to make the tag, but it is The Team From Down Under’s corner. Jack and Gator land double headbutts to Voltage, and he staggers over to the Best Friend Forever’s corner and then blast him with a double punch to the head. While this is going on, Zane tags Chad in, Voltage turns to that corner and Chad springs to the top rope and connects with a leg lariat for a two count. Voltage bails out of the ring and Ecosystem goes to console his partner. Chad waits for him to get to his feet and get back into the ring, but Eco and Voltage crawl under the ring. From the other side…..wait…..THAT’S ECOSISTEMA AND EL VOLTAJE! They slide under the ropes and attack Chad from behind and beat him to the mat! The referee gets Ecosistema out of the ring and Chad and El Voltaje square off. But, where did Ecosystem and Voltage go? The match continues on, and on, and on. We top thirty minutes, then forty-five, then an hour, and now seventy five minutes. No team has been able to keep someone else down long enough to prevent interference. The crowd is absolutely HOT for this match. Finishers galore are hit, Alt hits the SPINAL CONTUSION on Chad, Texpress catch El Voltaje with the not-often used TEXAS DEATH SENTENCE, the Defenstrators live up to their name and put Harris through a conveniently placed plate glass window, Gatorbait hits THE CHOMP on Ecosistema, and Hardbody Harris hits the TO BE EDITED IN LATER on Outback Jack, all that and STILL no one can get the three count! The match approaches the ninety minute mark and all eight participants are exhausted. The match finally breaks down a little bit with the BFF and TFDU fighting outside the ring. Someone got the bright idea for the four of them to set up tables stretching from the ring apron to the barricades, then get on those and fight. Probably not the best idea ever. From inside the ring, Ecosistema and El Voltaje climb opposite corners and leap at the four of them, and all six men go crashing down through the tables into a pile of blood, sweat and broken tables. The crowd pops a very appropriate HOLY SHIT chant. El Voltaje and Ecosistema crawl under the ring, and, wait……it’s Ecosystem and Voltage! Where have they been? Voltage ducks a spinning heel kick from Chad and nails him with a low blow then rolls him up for a two count. Eco grabs Zane and throws him over the top rope, but Zane shows his strength by holding on, skinning the cat and grabbing Eco by the head and flipping him over the ropes to the floor, where he slams into the guardrail. Inside the ring, Voltage has Chad on the top rope, trying for a superplex. Zane staggers over to the corner and gets under Voltage and backs to the middle of the ring with him on his shoulders. Chad climbs to the top rope and they hit the DROPKICK DEVICE! Chad crawls across the ring and covers Voltage, with Zane holding Chad down on top of him, the referee counts one…….two……..THREE! This match is OVER! WINNERS in 1:33:48 – Texpress Voltage rolls out of the ring while The Team From Down Under and the Best Friends Forever climb back into the ring. Hardbody Harris is not looking a whole lot better than Brad Smoley did at the end of his match, but he is on his feet. Texpress shakes hands with all of them and they all share hugs, even though Alt doesn’t look thrilled about losing. The Aussies and BFF’s raise Chad and Zane’s arms in victory as the crowd roars THIS WAS AWESOME! THIS WAS AWESOME! And we fade to black. Russ: This WAS awesome! WHAT A MATCH! Razz: I am blown away, Nash you thought they would have some rust, I guess they proved you wrong Nash: Other than Harris looking more like Chris Harris than Hardbody Harris, I gotta say they proved me completely wrong. That was an amazing match put on by eight guys who still got it Razz: And Texpress may have cemented their claim of being the best of all time tonight. Beating any ONE of these teams is quite an accomplishment, beating all four…..that is something to be proud of. Nash: It was like when Scotty and I beat the Steiners clean in the middle of the ring, like the torch had been passed and we were now the elite tag team in the world of wrestling. Razz: Again…….never happened Russ: Folks….. Schiavone: FOLKS! We are out of time! We will keep the tape machines rolling! Join us tomorrow night for part two of the OOWF 500! Live! From Indianapolis, Indiana! Nash: Where did he come from?
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jun 21, 2012 20:03:07 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 500 part 2 Live! From Indianapolis, Indiana <Back at Lucas Oil Stadium for Day Two of the OOWF 500. Once again, we have a sold out crowd of over 70,000! The lights go down and we see someone step out to the stage (we are going to just forget he is dead) to sing the national anthem. Once he finishes, 70.000 plus let out a mighty roar, and we are ready to go!> Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to the OOWF 500! The five-hundredth OOWF show! As always I am Russ, and I am joined by Razz Razz: Good ta be here Russ! Yesterday was AMAZING, and I think today will be even better, what a lineup! Russ: Once again joining us in the booth is former WCW and WWF World Heavyweight Champion, Big Sexy Kevin Nash…….gee you need a little more of an intro there Kev? Nash: You forgot the part about creating all that you see before you Chris Jericho: Hey, that’s MY routine assclown! Nash: I thought your routine was getting dumped at the altar and looking like a total chump? Razz: Little OOWF knowledge here, we were going to have Jericho wave the flag to start the matches, sort of like the Indy 500, but given Jericho’s history with flags……not such a good idea CJ: You Neolithic cretins, you dare mock my legacy…..I’LL SHOW YOU! I’LL SHOW THEM ALL! Razz: Yeah right Lite Brite. Hit the bricks Russ: We start this evening with one of the more controversial wrestlers to ever pass through the OOWF doors. ZK DeBeers had some……interesting…..points of view to say the least Razz: To say the most, he was a racist douchebag Nash: I think Blackdragon might just have something to say about this. LET’S GO TO THE RING! Russ: That is my line! Nash: Winner winner chicken dinnerZK DEBEERS, BLITZ, THE NERVE AGENT, KENJI & KNIFE vs. THE DEAD, THE DRAGONS, BRIGHAM YOUNG VII & BEER BARONEveryone is introduced an it looks like DeBeers is going to start things off with Blackdragon, but he refuses to lock up with him, and says something that you should NOT say. BD goes after ZKD, but DeBeers tags in dives out of the ring and Kenji and Knife attack Blackdragon and beat him to the mat, but this brings in SoulDragon and the Dragons quickly dispatch of Kenji and Knife sending them to the outside. Blackdragon tags in BY7 and Blitz comes into the match. BY7 offers a handshake to start, but Blitz spin kicks his hand away, then runs to the ropes and springboards off the middle rope and leaps at BY7 and tries a tornado DDT, but BY7 catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with a CHOKESLAM! Blitz spins up pretty fast from this, and he and BY7 go through some nice chain wrestling. BY7 tries a suplex, but Blitz slips over his shoulder, lands on his feet and sweeps his legs sending him to the mat. Blitz keeps BY7 on the mat and tags in Nerve Agent. TNA comes in and puts the boots to BY7, then pulls him up and hits a running powerslam into the corner, tying him into the tree of woe. DeBeers wants into the match now. ZKD comes in and charges into the corner, but BY7 sits up in the corner and frees himself, ZKD slams into the turnbuckle and staggers backward. BY7 steps into the ring and grabs him from behind and PLANTS him with a SCORPION DEATH DROP…..then gets to his feet and looks to his corner. The crowd goes NUTS! BY7 reaches out and tags Blackdragon into the match! Blackdragon comes in, and ZKD gets to his feet and sees a very pissed off black man standing there. BD attacks, trying to chop ZKD’s heart out of his chest. He backs him to the corner and just OBLITERATES him with chops, punches and kicks, beating him down to the mat before finally grabbing his leg and pulling him to the corner where he tags in Beer Baron. Beer pulls ZKD to his feet and lifts him up for a SAKE BOMB! But ZKD rakes his eyes. Beer drops him and ZKD crawls to his corner and tags in Kenji. Kenji and Knife cut Beer off from the rest of the ring and really work him over. The get the others involved too, and get several near falls. Kenji and Knife set Beer up for a SPIKE PILEDRIVER, but Beer backdrops out of it and catches Knife coming off the ropes with a spinning front kick to the jaw that sends him back to the corner. Knife tags in ZKD, and ZKD charges into the ring, but Beer takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold, then tags in Blackdragon. The match breaks down a bit here, but BY7, Beer Baron and Dead fight off Blitz, The Nerve Agent, Kenji and Knife while the Dragons work over ZKD. The end comes after the Dragons hit DRAGONFIRE! (I just made that up, BD hits a release German suplex, SoulDragon drops a leg from the top rope). They help keep the rest of them out of the ring, and when ZKD struggles to his feet, Dead POPS him with CLOSE THE CASKET! Dead covers, and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 19:19 – The Dragons, Dead, Brigham Young VII & Beer Baron Russ: Well, overt racism leads to an epic beat down. Who saw that coming? Nash: I just have one question……..who the hell was Brigham Young VII? Razz: He was here for a cup of coffee Nash: I thought Mormons didn’t drink coffee? Razz: A metaphorical cup of coffee Nash: Do they sponsor us? Voice: NO ASSHOLE! The OOWF is sponsored by the most BRUTAL, the most METAL, the most HARDCORE coffee of all time…..Duncan Hills Coffee Russ: Joining us now, Mr. Nathan Explosion of Dethklok fame. Mr. Explosion, what did you think of the last match NE: It was pretty brutal. Razz: That’s a good thing, right? NE: It needed more blood. That DeBeers guy……he is kind of a douche though……he should have to face the hatredcopter Nash: The what now? Russ: Never mind. Our next match features one of the oddest men to ever be part of the OOWF. There were rumors that he once ate rats Razz: Rumors my ass, I saw it Nash: In India, where I am revered as a demigod, they sometimes eat rats Razz: This world you live in, not very crowded is it? Russ: Anyway, Jim Jones and the President certainly have their work cut out for them. The last time we saw Jim Jones he was being unceremoniously dumped from the OOWF. Nash: Who is Muerte? Razz: Not much is known about him. The rumors are he was friendly with IHOP, but no bio exists for him and the writer is far too lazy to scour through the matches to find something out about him <Kayfabe shows up and drives a knife right into the desk where Razz is sitting. She gives him the stinkeye and then turns around and leaves NE: That was hot. Hey Skwisgaar I think she was checking you out <Nathan wanders away> Nash: This has clusterbomb written all over it doesn’t it Razz: Only one way to find out All: LETS HEAD TO THE RING!JIM JONES & THE PRESIDENT vs. SERAPH & MUERTEMuerte is announced and makes his way to the ring. Not much is known about this mysterious wrestler (because I couldn’t find his bio). He steps between the ropes and waits in the corner. A blinding white light fills the ring, and as it slowly subsides, Serpah is left standing in the center of the ring, under a single spotlight. The pale rider slowly looks up, his dark eyes blazing, but the expression on his face never changes, it shows no emotion. The President and Jim Jones are announced next, and make their way to the ring. The President asks one of his secret service men for the mic: By next Tuesday, the fans of the OOWF will have forgotten about me. I will be on a train on my way home to Ann Arbor, Michigan to go back to being a plain citizen. Tonight will be a great demonstration of the skill and talent it takes to be a professional wrestler in the OOWF. I am glad to be a part of this event, as it is a passing of the torch from generation to generation. There is no job like it on the face of the Earth. I want you all to realize how hard it is to give your entire being to this sport, the road and temptation are a great test of strength.
How a career will end? It will end…..someday….because of the great weakness of the body. I have not a doubt in the world that a great many of the stars of today will go on to great success. I have a deep and abiding faith in the destiny of these men and women. With strength and courage, they can achieve their dreams.
When my career began, I thought there must be a million men more qualified than I to take up this profession. But the hard work was there for me to do. But always, I knew that I was not alone. I knew that I had the support of the fans and the wrestlers backstage. And now, the time has come for me to say goodnight and God bless you all.With that, The President drops the mic and heads up the ramp. Jim Jones looks on, stunned that his partner is walking out on him. Jones yells for him to come back, then turns around and comes face to face with Seraph. Seraph’s emotion does not change a bit as he kicks Jones in the gut, lifts him up and hits a TOMBSTONE! Seraph gets to his feet and watches Jones struggle to his feet, then hits the PROPITATION! Seraph covers, one….two…..THREE! That was quick! WINNERS in 1:11 – Seraph & Muerte Russ: I am sure Jim Jones wishes the President had picked a different time to give his concession speech Razz: Did you see that Seraph cat? That guy gives me the heebie jeebies. What a weird dude. Nash: speaking of weird dudes….. Truth: Little Jimmy! Kendrick: The eyes of the soul are obscured, greed is the sunglasses of the mind, blocking clarity Jacobs: I call myself the Vampire Princess Berzerker: HUSS! <they all leave> Nash: What the HELL was that? Why are we doing open mic night? Razz: It’s the OOWF 500th! Anything can happen! Russ: Speaking of the unexpected……SYB has not only guaranteed a win for IHOP, but he claims they will break King Kong Bundy’s record for fastest match. Razz: Wait, didn’t Bret Hart beat the Mountie in three seconds? Russ: SYB claims he can beat that record as well Nash: Why are we listening to SYB again? Russ: More importantly, how good could the team of El Lobo Sangriento, Seamus and Damon Wrath be? Even though we haven’t seen Damon in quite some time, and we haven’t seen Seamus since the incident involving “threats to the Queen” Razz: What was that all about anyway? Russ: I don’t know all the details, but suffice it to say the British do not like it when an Irishman threatens to shove Trevelyan’s corn up the Queen’s ass sideways. Nash: Ouch Russ: Just to give some more background, since leaving the OOWF, SYB has developed an unhealthy obsession with Sylvester Stallone, and New York Mets pitcher Jon Niese. Skurge returned to Canada and started a family, though some suspect that he occasionally still competes under a mask, and Amnesiac can’t remember what he has been up to Razz: Naturally Nash: Looks like referee Davis Hightower is in the ring, let’s head there ourselves!IHOP vs. BAD ASS DRINKERS & EL LOBO SANGRIENTOSYB, Skurge & The Amnesiac make their way to the ring, and the crowd boos them loudly. SYB gets into an argument with an elderly lady at ringside, then flees when she threatens to beat him down. Bad Ass Drinkers – Seamus and Damon Wrath are announced next, and are joined by El Lobo Sangriento on stage. The three of them share a toast, slam their beers, then storm the ring! SYB tries to clothesline Seamus, but Seamus ducks it, rebounds, and nearly kicks his head into the tenth row with a boot to the face. Damon Wrath pelts the Amnesiac with punches to the side of the head, then sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a big back body drop that sends him under the bottom rope to the floor. Lobo and Skurge go toe to toe in the middle of the ring, trading punches, and eventually a hockey fight breaks out with both men pummeling one another mercilessly, and the crowd roaring their approval. Lobo finally gets the better of the exchange and beats Skurge to the mat. Lobo pulls Skurge up, lifts him in a military press, and throws him over the top rope onto Amnesiac and SYB. Lobo, Seamus and Wrath pose in the middle of the ring and the crowd eats it up. SYB climbs back into the ring and does the dramatic Hulk Hogan YOU! finger point to Lobo and challenges him to a Greco roman knuckle lock. Lobo obliges and they lock up, SYB, predictably kicks Lobo in the gut, but it has no effect. SYB nearly shits himself and tries to run away, but Lobo has hold of his hands and will not let go. Lobo ducks his head under SYB’s arm and tosses him across the ring with a suplex. Lobo waits for him to get up and stagger into the corner, then KILLS him with a clothesline. BAD and Lobo take turns beating the snot out of SYB, but every time they cover, Skurge or the Amnesiac breaks it up. Finally SYB rakes Wrath’s eyes and makes the tag to Skurge. Skurge comes in and changes the tone of the match. He actually pulls off some wrestling moves and nearly gets a three count on Seamus after a German suplex. He tags in Amnesiac and they set up Seamus for a SPIKE PILEDRIVER, but Seamus backdrops Skurge, then turns and catches Amnesiac coming off the ropes with a big boot to the face. Seamus pulls Amnesiac up and hits the CELTIC CROSS! He covers, but SYB comes in and kicks him in the back of the head breaking it up. Seamus gets to his feet and glares at SYB, SYB does not back down, so Seamus kicks his head off. Amnesiac gets to his feet and Seamus grabs them both and slams their head together. SYB falls onto the apron, and Amnesiac falls to the mat, but slaps a prone SYB on the chest, the referee counts that as a tag so Seamus shrugs and pulls him into the ring and throws him into his corner and tags in Lobo. Lobo comes in and lifts SYB and hits a HIGH POWERBOMB then flips him over and locks him in the THREE WOLF MOON! SYB wastes no time in tapping out! WINNERS in 13:37 – Bad Ass Drinkers & El Lobo Sangriento Razz: How’d that guarantee work out for SYB? Russ: Not so well Nash: When was the last time anything worked out for SYB? Russ: Well, I hear he was the high bidder on an ebay auction for a pair of slightly worn Sylvester Stallone gym shorts Razz: I don’t even want to know Nash: The less you know the better I would imagine. Russ: Our next match features two men, who are surprisingly similar. Josh O’Neal is an underrated MMA-style fighter from years ago in the OOWF. His opponent Psykle has something of a background in shootfighting, so this should be an interesting match. Razz: Psykle has been dealing with some personal issues here lately, but I talked to the guy backstage earlier today, he is in GREAT shape and he is really excited to climb back into the ring tonight. This really could be a great battle of big men Nash: I don’t know, that whole MMA thing is great and all, but I remember back in 1990, I was wrestling down in Brazil. Me and a couple of the boys decided to go out after the matches and have a few brews. Who do we run into, but Royce Gracie. Now, this dude is a buck fifty soaking wet, and everyone kept saying how he was the baddest man on the planet. So I challenged him. Made him tap out in less than a minute Russ: You. You made Royce Gracie tap out Nash: Yep Razz: You are so full of shit Russ: And with that, let’s go to the ring!PSYKLE vs. JOSH O’NEALThe two big men go nose to nose in the middle of the ring. Psykle doesn’t say a word, but Josh is talking non-stop. Getting no response from Psykle just seems to get Josh more and more animated. Finally he explodes and hammers Psykle with forearms to the side of the head, then punches to the side of the face. Psykle fights back and backs Josh to the ropes, then whips him across the ring and catches him on the rebound with a big back body drop. Josh pops to his feet and Psykle clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. O’Neal lands on his feet and grabs Psykle’s ankle and pulls him out of the ring to the floor. O’Neal kicks Psykle upside the head, sending him to the floor, then pulls him up and whips him shoulder first into the stairs. Josh pulls Pyskle up and rolls him under the bottom rope and crawls un and covers him, but Psykle kicks out at two. Josh starts working over Psykle’s legs, kicking his hamstrings and catching him in an INDIAN DEATHLOCK! Psykle makes it to the ropes and forces the break. As he gets up, he is limping a little bit. Josh tries to shoot the leg, but Psykle catches him with a knee lift that nearly legit knocks O’Neal out cold. He falls to the mat, and the referee checks on him and appears to be about to throw up the dreaded “X” when O’Neal gets to his feet, and staggers to the corner, his eyes a little glassy. The referee decides to let the match continue on, and Psykle stalks O’Neal carefully, then hammers him with forearms to the side of the head. O’Neal gets his arms up to deflect most of the blows, and catches Psykle with a kick to the gut, then PLANTS him with a DDT! O’Neal grabs Psykle’s legs and traps him in the O DAMN! Psykle howls in pain, but won’t give up. He finally crawls to the ropes and grabs the bottom strand forcing the break. O’Neal breaks the hold just before the disqualification and gets to his feet, but is still a little glassy eyed and staggering. Josh heads to the corner and climbs to the second rope and waits for Psykle to get up, then tries a double axe handle, but Psykle catches him with a punch to the midsection that flips him over to the mat. Psykle pulls Josh up and hits several knees to the guy, then lifts him up and hits a BUCKLE BOMB! Josh staggers out of the corner and falls face first to the mat, Psykle flips him over and covers, but Josh kicks out at two. Psykle pulls him up again and whips him to the ropes, holds on, pulls him back into a belly to belly suplex and covers again, but again Josh kicks out. The third time Psykle pulls him up, he hits a PSYCHO DRIVER! This time, Josh cannot kick out and Psykle gets the three count and the win. WINNER in 10:54 – Psykle Russ: I have to give O’Neal a lot of credit here, he hasn’t stepped into an OOWF ring in years, and he more than held his own against Psykle Razz: I had heard that O’Neal fell on some hard times after leaving the OOWF, I hope he gets things together, hell maybe we have a position as a road agent or something Nash: Bleeding hearts Razz: Oh I forgot, Kev doesn’t take charity Nash: I saved my money. You don’t main event for as long as I have without earning a pretty penny Razz: Haven’t you been booking just about as long as you have been main eventing? Nash: What’s your point? <Kayfabe shows up again, wearing nothing but Skwisgaar’s guitar and once again threatens Razz and Nash> Razz: Wow……that was……something Russ: Before you two completely destroy professional wrestling, could we perhaps move on to the next match? Matt Folz and Stan Fulton team once again to take on Sean Moore and Thim Reynolds Nash: Wasn’t Fulton just in the hospital? Russ: Yes, from a sledgehammer shot from one of the Hawaiians I believe Nash: And he is wrestling now Russ: Davin Moreland wrestled the night he got hit by a train Nash: <laughing> and I amd the one breaking kayfabe Razz: Been a long time since we saw Moore or Reynolds. Reynolds was always one of my favorites, talk about a submission specialist, this guy could do it all. He could bend you in ways you were never meant to be bent. Fulton and Folz certainly have the experience advantage here, but watch out for Thim, one wrong move and he can have your toes in your ears Nash: The bigger thing here is how will Fulton and Folz get along. It is no secret that Fulton has become disenchanted with the New Guard. Folz has offered him safe passage should he and Mai want to leave, but I have to think Folz does not speak for Evans or Sparxx Russ: They have teamed before, it will be interesting to see if they can put their differences aside and focus on two dangerous opponents. The match is ready to begin, let’s head to the ringMATT FOLZ & STAN FULTON vs. SEAN MOORE & THIM REYNOLDSSean Moore and Thim Reynolds are out first, former New Guard members Matt Folz and Stan Fulton are out next. Despite their history, Fulton and Folz get a bit of a mixed reaction from the crowd, which they both notice. They climb into the ring and the four men meet in the center of the ring, Reynolds and Moore offer handshakes, and to the surprise of all in attendance, Fulton and Folz accept and shake their hands. Reynolds and Folz start things off. Standard feeling out process to start. Neither man gets the advantage until Folz tries to charge into the corner, but Thim sidesteps and takes him to the mat with a deep arm drag. Reynolds immediately goes for the a KEY LOCK, but Folz quickly makes it to the ropes and forces the break. Thim lets Folz up, they lock up again and once again Thim takes him to the mat. This time he tags in Moore, and Moore comes in and takes over the arm. The match continues like this for a bit, Reynolds and Moore methodically working Folz’s arm trying for a submission. Folz looks like he is close to tapping several times, but each time he either escapes or finds the ropes. On the apron Fulton is cheering for his partner to suck it up and make the tag. The fans are actually behind Folz too and cheer for the tag. Folz pulls himself to his feet and catches Moore with a kick to the gut, then turns and tries to make the tag to Fulton, but Moore catches him by the arm and pulls him right into a SPINEBUSTER! Moore covers, but Folz kicks out at two. Moore pulls Folz up and lifts him for a suplex, but Folz slips behind him and lands on his feet, grabs Moore around the waist and hits a trio of GERMAN SUPLEXES! After the last one, Folz rolls to the corner and tags in Fulton! Stan comes in and cleans house. He clotheslines Reynolds over the top rope to the floor, then waits to Moore to stand up in the corner and catches him with an AVALANCHE! Moore staggers out a bit and Fulton grabs him and PLANTS him with a belly to belly suplex for a two count. Fulton batters Moore with power moves, catching him with a powerslam for another two count. Fulton pulls him off the mat and tries a whip to the ropes but Moore reverses it and Thim catches him with a boot to the back of the head. Fulton staggers a few steps and then falls to the mat and the crowd goes quiet. Moore tags in Thim, and Thim gives Fulton a second, but as soon as the big man get on his hands and knees Reynolds charges in and traps him in the REFLEXOLOCK! Fulton howls in pain but will not give up. Matt Folz comes into the ring and catches Thim with a boot to the face breaking the move. Thim tags in Moore and Moore waits for Fulton to get to his feet in the corner, then charges in and leaps at him, but Fulton moves out of the way and Moore slams into the turnbuckle and ties himself into the tree of woe! Fulton tags in Folz, who charges in and KILLS Moore with a knee to the midsection, then lifts him so he is sitting on the top rope and drops him with a TOP ROPE OLYMPIC SLAM! Folz makes the quick tag to Fulton, then charges across the ring and knocks Thim off the apron, Fulton bounds off the ropes and hits a DROP LINE! Fulton covers and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 16:16 – Stan Fulton & Matt Folz Russ: Nice victory by Fulton and Folz, the old magic they had when they were tag team contenders seemed to come right back tonight Razz: Makes you wonder, what would have happened if Folz hadn’t decided to get involved with the Darling/Moreland challenge, and Fulton hadn’t teamed with Moose, LD and Tytan? Nash: Well, it is obvious these two have chemistry. As an accomplished tag team wrestler myself, I feel like I am something of an authority on this. When you have that magic, it doesn’t matter how long it has been since you teamed. You go together like gin and juice….. Voice: Hey yo…….. Razz: Oh good. Last Call Scott Hall SH: Did someone say gin? Nash: Now is probably not the best time Scotty SH: Who let the midget behind the booth? Are you after me lucky charms? <Hall laughs hysterically at this> Hey yo……how about a survey……. Razz: Are we going to guess your blood alcohol level? Survey says! 1.0 SH: The little guy is making jokes? No one jokes about Da Bad Guy Nash: Scotty, why don’t you head to the back and wait for me SH: I wonder if that Awesome Bill guy is around…… Nash: Oh shit Razz: Blackout World Order 4 Life Nash: Not cool Razz Russ: Can we move on? Or would you two like to bicker a little more? Razz: Hey look at this, our next match features three more OOWF legends. Microplay faces Niles Anderson and Canadian Dragon. Three former world champions in this match, who ya god? Russ: I am going with Canadian Dragon since he was the last one to see any real action in an OOWF ring. Very underrated during his time here, if not the most exciting guy on the roster Nash: No sir. “The Specimen” Niles Anderson. He was Alexander Darling before there was an Alexander Darling. Niles has it all, the attitude, the moves, you name it. He comes back and gets the win tonight Razz: I am going out on a limb here and predicting a win for Microplay. The guy was the first ever OOWF world heavyweight champion, and I hear he has remained active in Canada all these years. He always seemed like the underrated one to me Russ. Russ: We are ready to begin, let’s head to the ring! MICROPLAY vs. NILES ANDERSON vs. CANADIAN DRAGONAll three are in the ring, and to be perfectly honest, the fans are not sure who to cheer here. Niles and Microplay attack Dragon when the bell rings, so that settles things for them. They cheer Dragon as he fights back, catching Niles with a chop to the throat and he hits Micro with a boot to the gut, grabs his head and hits SLICED BREAD! Canadian Dragon pops back to his feet and ducks a clothesline attempt from Niles and catches him with a rebound off the ropes and takes him down with a drop toe hold, then bounds off the ropes and catches him wit ha drop kick to the face. Canadian Dragon gets up and runs the ropes again, but from the apron Niles low bridges him and CD tumbles over the ropes to the floor. Niles steps into the ring and waits for Microplay to get to his feet and catches him with a clothesline, then pulls him up and lifts him up for a suplex, but Microplay slips over his shoulders and lands on his feet, bounces off the ropes and catches Niles with a big knee to the back that sends Niles throat first to the second rope. Microplay charges and leaps over the top rope and drops a knee on the back of Niles head, sending him flopping back to the middle of the ring. On the outside, Micro threatens a few fans, then turns around and eats a SUPERKICK from Canadian Dragon! CD hops onto the apron and runs to the corner and scales the ropes and waits for Niles to struggle to his feet, then tries to hit a HURRACARANA, but Niles catches him and POWERBOMBS him to the mat! Niles folds him up, but Dragon kicks out at two. Niles keeps hold of Dragon’s legs and traps him in the PRECISION INCISION, which is totally not a legal move, so no matter how much CD tries to submit, he couldn’t anyway. The referee counts, and Niles breaks it at four, but doesn’t get to his feet fast enough, and a recovered Microplay DROPS THE ELBOW on Niles and covers, but Dragon recovers enough to break it up. Microplay grabs Dragon and throws him over the top rope, but Dragon skins the cat and comes back into the ring. Micro charges at him, but Dragon ducks and on the rebound he catches him with a kick to the gut and tries a suplex, but MP reverses it and drops CD stomach first on the top rope. Niles runs down the ropes and KILLS CD with a running knee that sends him to the floor. Dragon gets to his feet on the floor, if only barely, when Microplay charges at Niles, but Niles backdrops Micro over the top rope and sends him crashing into CD. Niles slides out of the ring, pulls CD to his feet and SLAMS him face first into the ring post, then pulls Micro up and rolls him under the bottom rope. Niles slides in and waits for MP to get to his feet, then hits the STEEDDT! He rolls MP over, hooks the leg, and a handful of tights, and gets the three count! WINNER in 17:17 – Niles Anderson Nash: I knew it! Russ: Niles looked good, there is no question about that, but once again, he can’t seem to get by on his natural talent alone Nash: Where’s the fun in that? Razz: Sometimes the fun thing is not the right thing Nash: Most of the time its not Razz: He has a point there Russ: The point is, Niles Anderson is a gifted athlete who is content wasting his talent by taking shortcuts. Nash: Look at his resume, you are telling me that is wasted talent? Come on Russ, this is not 1950. Lou Thesz is not walking through that door. Frank Gotch is not walking through that door. Wrestlers take short cuts. That is life. Niles Anderson has done what he has had to do his entire career, and it has been a successful one Russ: Sickening. Razz: Ok, maybe your next match will cheer you up. The Devil’s Brigade teams with Donovan Viper to face wCw and 3Piece Set Nash: This match has so much potential for mayhem that OOWF officials just went ahead and made it a no disqualification match! Russ: Three teams, nine men, a ridiculous potential for disaster. wCw are one of the best trio teams in OOWF history, 3Piece Set may be THE best. I honestly can’t pick a winner here Nash: I am going to go with wCw. I remember that Bamboo scaffold match they had. Just insane Razz: There is no doubt about the talent of wCw or 3Piece Set, but I think you are overlooking one thing, Donovan Viper has a mean streak a mile wide, Harper Camby has no conscience, and Tommy O’Neal can end the match with one Wicked Left. I think Tommy catches someone with that and dims their lights long enough to get the winTHE DEVIL’S BRIGADE & DONOVAN VIPER vs. WCW vs. 3PIECE SET – No Disqualification MatchAll three teams are announced, and before the bell can even ring, the nine men tear into one another. JW Westgaard charges at Camby and takes him out of the ring to the floor, Cole, Ax-Man and Firechild all catch Tommy O’Neil in the corner and put the boots to him, Capellan and Donovan Viper renew their old rivalry and chop the holy shit out of one another in the middle of the ring. Tommy Wilder dives between the ropes at Camby and slams him into the guard rail. It’s already chaos! Wilder climbs onto the apron and waits for Camby to stand up, but before he can do anything, Cole and Ax-Man slip out of the ring while Firechild kicks the shit out of Tommy’s face. Cole charges down the apron and sweeps Wilder’s feet from beneath him while Ax-Man catches him and DRIVES him to the floor with a NECKBREAKER! Tommy O’Neil fights to his feet in the corner and HAMMERS Firechild with punches to the face. Tommy loads up the WICKED LEFT and swings, but Firechild ducks it and Tommy NAILS Donovan Viper right in the back of the head! He falls forward and Capellan bounces off the ropes and drops a leg across the back of his head, but can’t follow up because Firechild catches him with a kick to the face. On the outside Harper Camby is back on his feet and he looks at Cole and Ax-Man putting the boots to Wilder. Cole turns and invites Camby to join him, but Camby charges and nearly cuts Cole in half with a SPEAR! Ax-Man grabs Camby and whips him into the French Announce Table, and the French Announce Table immediately surrenders and runs for the safety of the English Announce Table while the German Announce Table points and laughs at them. Ax-Man grabs the monitor off the French Announce Table and hammers it into Camby’s knee, then drags him to the corner and slams it into the ringpost. Inside the ring, Donovan Viper is back on his feet and he grabs Firechild and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a POWERSLAM! He gets up and Capellan comes off the top rope with a FIVE STAR FROGSPLASH! He covers, but both Chris Cole and Donovan Viper break it up, then turn on one another. Cole whips Viper to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Viper kicks him in the mouth standing him up, then grabs a chair that is lying on the apron and tosses it at Cole. Cole catches it and laughs, and Capellan comes out of nowhere with a spinning heel kick slamming the chair back into Cole’s face. Capellan celebrates and Viper kicks him in the gut and PLANTS him with a DDT! Viper gets to his feet, but Tommy Wilder is waiting on the apron, he springboards into the ring and catches Donovan Viper with a dropkick to the jaw that sends him to the mat, out of the ring, and to the floor. Tommy Wilder sets up the chair just as Ax-Man and Camby are on the French Announce Table trading punches that would kill a normal man. Wilder charges, leaps off the chair onto the top rope, then soars through the air and takes out Camby and Ax-Man, himself, the French Announce Table, Alsace and Lorraine, and the Maginot Line all in one fell swoop. Chris Cole gets to his feet again, and JW Westgaard rejoins the match, hockey stick in hand. When Cole turns around, Westgaard BLASTS him with the CROSS CHECK! He covers Cole, but Cole kicks out at two! Westgaard drops his stick and grabs Cole by the head and pulls him to his knees and drops several elbows to the top of his head. Cole tries to save himself with a low blow, but it has no effect. Westgaard dramatically reaches into his pants and pulls out a cup, then SLAMS it down on Cole’s head! He celebrates which brings Capellan into the match and they pull Cole up and move him to the corner and set him up for a double superplex, but Donovan Viper slips back into the match, a chain wrapped around his fist. He grabs Capellan and pulls him off the ropes and BLASTS him in the face! Capellan falls to the mat, blood gushing from his forehead. Cole uses the distraction to kick Westgaard in the face sending him to the mat. Cole then drops a flying knee across Westgaard’s chest and covers, but Westgaard kicks out. Viper works over Capellan, and Cole hammers Westgaard. Tommy O’Neil gets back into the ring, carrying a kendo stick. Viper looks up and gets a kendo shot across the face. Cole gets to his feet to help his partner, and he gets one in the gut, then a second across his face. Tommy pulls Cole to his feet and lands the WICKED LEFT! Cole falls out of the ring to the floor, apparently out cold. On the outside, Tommy Wilder gets to his feet and manages to get out of the wreckage, rummages under the ring and gets out a LADDER! He sets it up and starts to climb, but Ax-Man also stirs and starts to climb the opposite side. Then Harper Camby gets up and follows Ax-Man up his side, while Firechild climbs up after Wilder. Four men on the ladder, this is going to end well. Tommy Wilder gets to the top, and sees Capellan getting to his feet in the ring. Capellan charges to the corner, leaps to the top rope and leaps at the ladder while Wilder leaps off the top of the ladder and hits a SENTON on Cole! Capellan crashes into the ladder and sends it tumbling crashing through the United Nations Announce Table, and drawing a huge HOLY SHIT chant from the crowd! They may all be dead! This leaves Westgaard, Viper and O’Neil in the ring. Tommy pulls Westgaard to his feet and tries a whip to the ropes, but Westgaard reverses it catches him with a boot to the gut and hits the ICE AUGER on a CHAIR! Tommy O’Neil is DEAD! Westgaard tries to cover, but Viper kicks him in the back of the head. Westgaard gets to his feet but Viper slams him on the back with a chair sending him face first into the corner. Viper wraps the chain around his elbow and hits not one, not two but THREE CHAIN ASSISTED DEATH ELBOWS to the back of Westgaard’s head! JWW slumps in the corner, then falls to the mat, blood pooling around his head. Viper falls on him and covers, and gets the one, two, three! WINNERS in 43:14 – The Devil’s Brigade & Donovan Viper Razz: OFF THA HOOK! Nash: That was insane. How are those guys not all still around? Russ: Folks you may have to give us a minute to catch our breath here. That was something else. Razz: I called it too! Sort of. It wasn’t Tommy O’Neil dimming someone’s lights, it was Donovan Viper trying to cave in Westgaard’s head. That was violent! Russ: Yes, well, I have a feeling we haven’t seen anything yet Razz: Our main event of the evening. I seriously cannot believe GM Selena agreed to his stipulation Nash: This is the OOWF’s oldest feud, going back almost to day one. Moose and Crete have spilled more blood than most thought was humanly possible, so naturally, they are going to do it again in a Taipei death match Russ: I cannot, for the life of me, understand why someone would put their body through this kind of torture. Moosehead Jack seems to thrive on it, like he has a death wish Nash: Like? Look, I think we can all agree that Moose is about 50 cards short of a full deck, and for all his bravado and heroism, Crete is not exactly playing with a full deck either. These two will not quit, I really believe they will be in the old folks wrestling home feuding over the last dish of pudding Razz: Their feud may be rivaled only by Moose and Alexander Darling, I am looking forward to this, but it is going to be a trainwreck Russ: This one is kind of hard to predict because Crete hasn’t wrestled in years, but Moose is coming off a broken neck. Folks, this is his FIRST MATCH BACK! So much for easing yourself back into things Razz: They have the cage set up, looks like this one is ON!MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CONCRETE TG – Taipei Death Match<Before the participants are announced, the ring announcer makes a special announcement> Ladies and Gentlemen, here to be special ring announcer…….ANTOINE CUTTER!<Cutter WALKS out from the back, and gets a standing ovation from the crowd. The last time we saw Antoine Cutter, he was just barely able to stand up from his wheelchair after suffering a broken neck in a match. Cutter comes out and soaks up the cheers, then slowly walks to the ring and grabs a mic> First I would like to thank everyone. After I broke my neck, I never thought I would walk again. Your support has meant the world to me, thank you. <huge cheers> Now……if we are ready…….Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, are you ready? <cheers> I said……..are you ready? <roars> for the thousands in attendance, and the millions….<pauses> crowd: AND MILLIONS…..watching on pay per view……..LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!<the crowd comes unglued> Our first participant……from Military Street in Detroit Michigan, weighing in at two hundred thirty five pounds……..the only two time Grand Slam winner in OOWF history……Ladies and Gentlemen………MOOSEHEAD JACK<the crowd boos him loudly> His opponent……From Orlando, Florida, but recently seen in Parts Unknown, weighing in at two hundred fifty pounds……The Hero, Pureheart………Ladies and Gentlemen…….CONCRETE TG<the crowd goes nuts as Crete comes out from the back and soaks in the cheers at the top of the ramp> Crete and Moose both head to the cage. For those of you who may not remember the cage is made of barbed wire. Moose. Both wrestlers head to opposite corners and crew bring glue and buckets of glass. Glue is put all over their taped fists, and then both slam their fists into the buckets of broken glass. This is not going to be pretty. The crew leaves the ring and the bell rings. Moose snarls and charges across the ring to attack Crete, but Crete steps out of the way and Moose slams into the barbed wire cage getting his hair stuck in the barbs. Crete grabs Moose by the head and hammers him with punches to the side of the head, not surprisingly drawing blood. Moose tears himself away from the cage, leaving strands of red hair hanging on the barbed wire, and goes after Crete again. This time Crete catches Moose with an elbow to the jaw, then sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop kick to the mouth that sends Moose staggering, falling between the ropes and getting tangled up in the barbed wire. Moose struggles to free himself and tears a nasty gash in his arm. Crete pulls Moose between the ropes and lifts him up for a suplex, then runs him chest first into the cage, hanging him on the barbed wire for a moment, before Moose falls to the mat. We are only five minutes into the match and Moose is already bleeding badly. Moose pulls himself up using the ropes, and Crete charges in and catches him with a flying enziguri that sends Moose into the corner, grabbing his neck, and drawing an audible OOOOHHHHH from the crowd. Moose takes a step out of the corner, then grabs his neck and falls to the mat. Remember, Moose has just recovered from a broken neck in a match against Stank. The crowd murmurs for a moment, and Crete hesitates to go after Moose. The referee steps in and helps Moose to one knee. Crete steps in to check if he is ok and Moose springs to his feet and KILLS Crete with a clothesline! Crete falls to the mat and Moose pounces on him and HAMMERS him with punches to the face, opening numerous gashes and leaving Crete a bloody mess. Moose gets to his feet, grinning like a madman, and wipes the blood from his face and flicks it at Crete. The crowd boos him loudly. Moose laughs at their boos and waits for Crete to get to one knee, then charges in and kicks him in the face sending him back to the mat. Moose pulls Crete up and sends him into the barbed wire and drags his face across the razor sharp barbs. Crete howls in pain as blood pours from his face. Crete staggers around the ring and Moose hits a HEART PUNCH! Crete collapses to the mat, but Moose doesn’t go for the pin, instead he heads to the corner and climbs the ropes. Crete recovers enough to get to one knee and lunge at the ropes, knocking Moose off balance, crotching him on the top rope. Crete heads to the corner and climbs to the middle rope and hammers Moose with punches to the face, but Moose fights back with punches of his own, then grabs Crete by the head and repeatedly slams him in the face with headbutts, then bites him and shoves him off the top rope. Crete falls into the ring, but pops right back up, runs to the corner, scales the ropes and catches Moose with a SHINING WIZARD that knocks him off the top rope! Moose falls into the barbs of the cage, the barbs tearing into his skin, and tangling him on the wire. Crete gets to his feet, and charges at Moose, leaps in the air, and lands a knee to Moose’s head that bows out the wall of the cage. Crete falls and lands on the floor, but the cage snaps back and Crete is pinned! He struggles to free himself, each move causing barbs to dig into his skin. Moose also struggles to free himself. Crew rush to the ring and start cutting some strands so Crete doesn’t end up cutting his throat, but that leaves a hole in the cage. Crete collapses to the floor, breathing hard and bleeding from……well everywhere really. Moose also frees himself and rolls out of the ring to the floor, but doesn’t immediately attack Crete, instead he goes under the ring and throws several chairs, a ladder and a couple of tables into the ring. Oh no. Moose rolls back out of the ring and grabs Crete and pulls him to the wreckage of the French Announce Table and slams his face into a broken piece of wood. He tries to do it a second time, but Crete blocks it and catches Moose with a punch to the gut, then lifts him in a Fireman’s carry and DRIVES him into the wreckage with an FU! Moose howls in pain. Crete pounces on him and locks in the SCAFFOLD! Moose snarls in pain but will not give up. Crete finally breaks the hold and drags Moose toward the ring, pulls him up and shoves him through the hole in the wire and back into the ring. Moose gets to his feet and faces Crete, Crete lands a chop, and Moose responds. Crete follows that with a forearm to the chest, which Moose answers with one of his own. Moose then slaps Crete across the face, Crete responds with a slap of his own, and each one takes turn slapping the shit out of the other, blood flying everywhere, the chops and slaps get stiffer and stiffer and the crowd eats it up. Moose steps back after a slap and POPS Crete with a SUPERKICK! (has Moose EVER done one of those before?) Crete staggers, but follows with one of his own. Moose drops to one knee, then gets up and spits in Crete’s face and hits a spinning fist to the temple. Crete does not go down, spits at Moose, and then both hit the ropes and clothesline one another to the mat. Moose slowly gets to his feet and sets up one of the tables. He then sets up a ladder and goes to pull Crete to his feet, but Crete stuns him with….well, a STUNNER! Crete drapes an arm across Moose, but Moose rolls his shoulder at two. Crete pulls Moose up and lays him on the table and starts to climb the ladder, but Moose rolls off the table and climbs the ladder and grabs Crete, they fight on the ladder for a minute, with it teetering and almost falling into the barbed wire! Moose grabs Crete and hits a RANHEI OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLE! The crowd gasps because it looks like they are both dead. The referee starts the ten count and looks to the back for medical help, but shockingly, both men are up at seven. They refuse to stay down! Moose grabs a chair and slams it down on Crete’s head, Crete goes down, but gets up quickly and when Moose tries another chair shot, Crete kicks him in the gut and hits a PILEDRIVER! Both men remain down and the referee starts ANOTHER ten count. Crete gets up at eight and covers Moose, but Moose kicks out at two. Crete pulls Moose up and throws him into the cage again, then catches him with the CEMENT MIXER that sends Moose through another table that had been set up. Moose lies motionless and Crete crawls to him and pulls him from the wreckage and covers, but once again, SOMEHOW, Moose kicks out at two. Crete climbs the ladder and tries to drop an elbow across Moose’s chest, but Moose rolls out of the way and Crete crashes and burns. Crete gets to his feet and Moose hits a BUISAKU KNEE that sends Crete back into the barbed wire. Both men are exhausted as this match has gone on for over 30 minutes, and they are both bloody messes. As Crete staggers off the barbed wire, Moose gets behind him and lifts him and hits the GO TO SLEEP FOREVER then pulls him up and PLANTS him with a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER. Moose lies on the mat for a minute, then drapes his arm across Crete, but Crete kicks out at two. Moose somehow manages to get two more ladders into the ring. He can barely stand, and at several point the referee looks like he is going to stop the match. A second ladder is set up, and then Moose struggles, but manages to get the third ladder set across the rungs of the first two ladders, like a scaffold. Moose climbs the ladder and starts tearing barbed wire from the roof of the cage until there is a hole above the vertical ladder. Moose wraps some of the wire around his already glass encrusted fist, waits for Crete to stand, then leaps off the ladder and punches him right on top of the head. Moose never even tries to cover, and they both lay on the mat for a nine count. Somehow, both are up and Moose slams Crete into the ladder then grabs the chair and swings it, but Crete starts up the ladder to avoid the chair and Moose hits the ladder instead, drops the chair and shakes his hands. Moose follows Crete up on the opposite ladder and the two of them are standing on the vertical ladder, with most of them above the top of the cage. They find their footing and start slugging it out. Crete swings wildly and Moose ducks and grabs him in a COBRA CLUTCH! Crete throws himself back, and Moose slips and they both fall onto the TOP of the cage (which is all barbed wire) and the roof collapses and they both fall THROUGH the ROOF into to the MAT over ten feet below! The crowd gasps, thinking they just saw two guys die…..again….. The referee calls for paramedics and they get to ringside when Moose stirs, grabs Crete, snarling in pain, and somehow locks in something that looks kind of like the JI-ENDO! Crete is pretty much out at this point, his eyes are glazed over and glassy, both are bleeding PROFUSELY, so when Crete kind of sort of taps, the referee stops the match and awards it to Moose. WINNER in 44:56 – Moosehead Jack Paramedics come into the ring, but both men push them away. After several minutes, they both manage to make it to their feet. Crete and Moose meet in the middle of the ring, barely able to stand. They glare at one another and look like they may come to blows. We hear Crete say “1-1. I’ll be back.” Just then, some odd robed guys in masks come to ringside. Crete staggers out of the ring and they help him to the back. Moose falls to his knees, and the last shot we have is a horrifically bloody point to his taped fist which has PQ written on it, beneath that is LQ crossed out. Moose just grins an evil grin, and we fade to black. Russ: MY GOD! Razz: Yep. No doubt about it, those two plain don’t like one another New Jack: I have seen a lot of things in my life, this went a little too far Nash: Really. YOU are saying that? NJ: Yep. Think about that Nash: That’s fucking scary Razz: What a night of wrestling! I can’t believe Moose and Crete both walked away from that…..more or less Russ: It is amazing the lengths insanity can push you to. Folks we…….one second <we see Russ get up and check the announce booth for Schiavone, he can’t find him so he continues> Russ: Folks we are out of……. <Tony Schiavone slowy rises in front of the announce table holding the cord that unplugged Russ’s mic. He holds up his hand Ken Anderson style and Sting drops a mic from the ceiling into his hand> TS: Folks we are out of time! We’ll keep the tape machines rolling, join us tomorrow night for more OOWF action! <fade as we hear Russ yelling “DAMN YOU SCHIAVONE! WHERE DID HE COME FROM!>Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Mid-Summer Night’s Scream June 24th Live! From Rosemont, Illinois. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, June 27th, Live! From Houston, Texas See something you like? Post it here in the 2012 Awards Reminder Thread For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jun 21, 2012 20:04:52 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 500 Live! From Indianapolis, Indiana <a spotlight hits a side stage, the curtain goes up and we see KISS! The crowd goes NUTS as they play the Star Spangled Banner the crowd sings along, then roars approval at the ending solo> Russ: We are BACK! Night three of the OOWF 500! I am your host Russ, and as always, I am joined by the former Tazmaniac, the former Taz(z) the Human Suplex Machine, Razz! Razz: Can you feel the electricity in the air Russ? This has been an event unlike any other that I have been a part of, just amazing! Russ: Joining us tonight, he was once Oz, he was once Big Daddy Cool, Ladies and Gentlemen, Big Sexy Kevin Nash! Nash: Someone explain something to me. How is it that we can run three straight nights in Indianapolis and sell out, over 70,000 each night, yet we run a pay per view in Nunavut which has a population of like 12? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Russ: The OOWF works in mysterious ways Nash. Let’s get right into it tonight, we open with a six man tag match, Comrade Sharkoff, Ryan Hardcore and Apocalyptic Existence face Dr. Infieri, Dr. Murder and the giant Mikey Styner Razz: Two doctor’s in one match? Nash: I haven’t seen that since Dr. Tom Pritchard and Dr. Death Steve Williams faced me back in the old UWF in ‘86 Razz: Let me guess, you won Nash: Well, I don’t like to brag….. Razz: The hell you don’t Russ: This match is kind of hard to call. Comrade Sharkoff is the only currently active wrestler, but Dr. Infieri wrestled not too long ago Razz: But, Mikey Styner has something that makes a difference too, this dude is HUGE, and he and Dr. Murder WERE a pretty good team back in the day Nash: What about Apocalyptic Existence? Russ: Well, his run in the OOWF was less than spectacular, but I have heard that he has become a big attraction in Brazil, in fact he won a tournament in Rio to crown that country’s television champion Pat Patterson: I have here a cease and desist order, I am the only one that is allowed to claim titles won in fictitious tournaments in Brazil. Razz: That’s great Pat, you know, I hear there is a male oil wrestling event just down the road PP: HOT DAMN! I mean……..ummm……I should stop by and make sure things are up to code. Nothing more tragic than wrestling events that are not up to snuff Russ: Now that we are all properly revolted, let’s head to the ringCOMRADE SHARKOFF, RYAN HARDCORE & APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE vs. DR. INFIERI, DR. MURDER & MIKEY STYNERThe fans don’t really seem to know who to cheer here as none of the men in this match are what you would exactly call fan favorites. That all changes when Comrade Sharkoff starts to waive the Soviet flag. That does it. The Doctors and Mikey are now cheered loudly. Sharkoff starts things with the massive Mikey Styner. They lock up and Styner clubs Sharkoff on the back of the next with forearms, backs him to the ropes and sends him across the ring and catches him with a belly to belly suplex on the rebound. Sharkoff wastes no time tagging in Apocalyptic Existence. AE comes in and he and Styner move to lock up, but AE catches him with a rake to the eyes, then drags him over to the ropes and runs his eyes across the top strand. As Styner staggers around the ring, AE bounces off the ropes and takes the big man down with a clothesline. AE grabs Styner’s arm and stretches it out and tags in Ryan Hardcore. Ryan comes into the match, after blowing a kiss to Lauren Phoenix, who is at ringside, and drops a knee across Styner’s outstretched arm. Hardcore gets to his feet and taunts the Doctors in the corner, then pulls Styner up and whips him into the corner and charges in and tries a splash, but Styner just swats him to the mat, stumbles out of the corner and makes the tag to Dr. Murder. Murder comes in and pulls Hardcore to his feet and drives him to the mat with a belly to back suplex. He gets to his feet and waits for Hardcore to stand, then runs off the ropes and connects with a swinging neck breaker. Hardcore tries to bail out of the ring to safety, but Murder grabs his legs and pulls him back to his corner and tags in Infieri. The Good Doctor comes in and immediately grapevines Hardcore’s legs and rolls him into an ankle lock/cross face combo submission move. Hardcore howls in pain, but before he could even think about quitting, Comrade Sharkoff comes in and breaks it up with a kick to Infieri’s face. Infieri tags Styner back into the ring and Mikey tries a big elbow drop on Hardcore, but Ryan rolls out of the way, gets to his feet and POPS Styner on the jaw with a SUPERKICK! Styner stands there, wobbling, but he does not go down Hardcore crawls between his legs and makes the tag to Sharkoff, but then he and AE come back into the ring and take Styner down with a double clothesline to the back of the head. This brings Dr. Infieri and Dr. Murder into the match, and soon the four of them are brawling. With the referee distracted by that, he never sees Comrade Sharkoff wrap his chain around his fist. As Styner gets to his feet, Sharkoff charges in and BLASTS him with a chain wrapped fist shot to the temple. Styner drops to one knee, so Sharkoff hits a second. Mikey still doesn’t go down. Finally, the third shot knocks the big man to the mat. Sharkoff ditches the chain, the referee turns around just in time to see the cover, and Sharkoff gets the one, two, three! WINNERS in 12:18 – Comrade Sharkoff, Ryan Hardcore & Apocalyptic Existence Russ: Does anyone know what it means to win a match on their own merits anymore? First Rabbit Masks disrespects Hellion, then Donovan Viper tries to cave in the back of JW Westgaard’s head, and now Sharkoff uses a chain to beat Mikey Styner. What is this sport coming to? Nash: You ARE aware that there are things called “bad guys” or “heels” in wrestling, right? Russ: Yes, I am aware of that. But the lengths people are going to break the rules now…….Gordon Solie would be rolling over in his grave! Razz: No matter the means, I think people are going to have to start sitting up and recognizing Comrade Sharkoff as a legitimate threat to titles. I think when he came in a lot of people were quick to dismiss him as just another Russian stereotype, but this guy can wrestle. You may not like his methods, but you can’t argue with the results Nash: Reminds me of the time I fought Vladimir Putin for the Presidency of Russia Razz: Wait, Putin IS the president of Russia Nash: Thanks to me Razz: How….. Nash: Fingerpoke of Doom 2: The State Making. Yep, it is all on me Russ: MOVING ON! Cause no one believes a word you are saying Nash Nash: It is all in Wikipedia Razz: so it MUST be true Russ: Our next match features an OOWF original in Gimmickman and two new comers in Power and Glory, to be perfectly honest, I am not sure how to handicap this one Russ: Well, Gimmick and Matte are at a distinct disadvantage in this match. Since leaving the OOWF, Gimmickman has wrestled sporadically for Border City Wrestling, but that is about all. And Matte…..well…..the last time we saw him, didn’t he try to kill himself? Nash: And to my knowledge Jealous and Predator have never teamed before, though they certainly have the size and strength advantage in this match Russ: Wyatt Cox has brought Edra and Clio a long way, and I honestly believe these ladies are on the verge of a big breakthrough in the OOWF, however, I am not so certain the biggest stage the OOWF has ever seen is the place to do it. I am going to take Jealous and Predator for the minor upset here. The referee is ready, let’s head to the ring!GIMMICKMAN & MATTE vs. MR. JEALOUS & PREDATOR vs. POWER & GLORYGimmick & Matte and Mr. Jealous & Predator are announced first. The crowd gives them a respectful round of applause as they have done with all the returning legends. <The arena goes dark....as a disco ball begins spinning and a single spotlite falls on Wyatt Cox as Power and Glory's new entrance video fires up. the Power & Glory Titantron He is wearing one of Bobby Heenan's old sparkly Red suits. As the screen displays Power, Wyatt does the old NWO Point to Edra, who is posing wearing a white sparkly one piece. As the screen displays Glory, he points to Clio, mirroring Edra in a Blue sparkly one piece. Wyatt points to both ladies who turn forward with both hands on their hips. As the vocal hits “Shake, Shake, Shake", the ladies shake, the Pyro hits, and Wyatt points down the ramp toward the ring. The are happily shaking hands and dancing with the fans. All are excited to be here. Russ: Care to go dance with the girls, Nash? Nash: Naah, I can blow out my knees without any help from them.As the girls get to the ring and the last Chorus hits, all three bow their heads briefly and point skyward in rememberance of Beth and Martha, and the music ends. Mr. Jealous does not take kindly to the lack of attention on him, so as soon as the bell rings he attacks Clio from behind. He backs her into the corner and hammers her with punches to the head. He tries to whip her across the ring, but she reverses it and follows him in and tries the TEN PUNCHES OF DOOM, but Jealous shoves her off. Clio hits the mat and gets right back to her feet. Jealous charges out of the corner and tries a clothesline, but Clio matrixes the shit out of it and catches him on the rebound with a textbook perfect Ricky Steamboat deep arm drag, then reaches out and tags in Edra. Edra comes in and drops repeated elbows across Jealous chest, then covers, but he powers out at one. Edra pulls him to his feet and hooks him for a suplex, but the much more powerful Jealous blocks it easily and lifts her for a suplex. Edra easily slips over his shouders and hits a LUNGBLOWER on her way down, which sends Jealous to his corner where he tags in Predator. Edra reaches out and tags in Gimmickman. Gimmick comes into the ring and immediately gets SPEARED out of his boots by Predator. Predator bellows with rage, then runs to the corner and NAILS Matte with a forearm to the side of the head that sends him off the apron to the railing. He then turns to Power and Glory, but Wyatt calls them off and the girls hop off the apron as he gets to their corner, each grabs a leg and they pull him to the mat, and POST him! Predator gets to his feet and Gimmick is waiting for him. He grabs him and lifts him, and DRIVES him to the mat with a ROCK BOTTOM! Gimmick reaches out and tags in Matte. Matte pulls him to his feet and PLANTS him with a DDT! Matte covers, but Jealous manages to come in and break it up at two. Matte takes exception to this and tags Gimmick back into the match and then launches himself at Jealous through the ropes to the floor. They brawl on the outside, while on the inside, Gimmick hits the SPARTAN PLUNGE on Predator! Before he can cover though, he sees Predator coming at a dazed Matte with a chair, so he quickly tags in Clio and leaves the ring to stop the assault. Edra and Clio assess the situation and see the big man is down. They pull him up and shove him to the corner, Clio puts him on the top rope, while Edra goes to another corner. The fans roar in anticipation, and they hit TWIN PLEX! Edra hooks Predator’s legs while Clio sits on top of her, and they get the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 15:55 – Power & Glory Russ: Much to Kevin’s dismay, WOMEN won a match! Nash: Hey, I am not against women, I am just not so sure they should be competing with men Razz: Does Chyna ring a bell? Nash: Are we certain she was a woman? Razz: Touche Russ: Neanderthal opinions aside, that was quite a statement by Clio and Edra. They have literally been in the OOWF just weeks, and they defeated two other teams that, despite not being active for a long time, have a lot more experience Razz: Wyatt Cox gets a bit of a bad rap in my estimation, I mean he has taken these two women and trained them to be wrestling machines. Just because the man speaks his mind doesn’t make him a bad person. Congrats to Power and Glory! Russ : Well said. Our next match…….well I really don’t know what to say about it. On one side, Grunt, LI, Anders Denial and Beast are a formidable team Russ: But then, on the other, Justin Sane, Phil, Carl From Fresno and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville……..there is enough brain power there to lightly brown a piece of toast Nash: It is not exactly a MENSA meeting there. Beast and his team should win this one pretty easily Russ: I wouldn’t say that. Say what you like about their intellect, or lack thereof, but Justin, Bill, Carl and Phil are no slouches in the ring. This has all the makings of a good match Razz: I get to say it now…..Let’s hea…… Nash: Let’s head to the ring! Razz: DAMN YOU!JUSTIN SANE, AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE, CARL FROM FRESNO & PHIL vs. GRUNT, LI, BEAST & ANDERS DENIALGrunt, LI, Anders Denial and Beast are all announced and make their way to the ring to a chorus of boos. They are quite the formidable looking group. The lights go out and Ride of the Valkyries starts to play, and the spotlight focuses on Awesome Bill From Dawsonvill riding on Drunkey waving Happy Bubble Bat. Drunkey is pulling a cart with Carl From Fresno in it, while Justin Sane is riding on Phil’s shoulders. Clearly the Charge of the Not So Bright Brigade right here. This motley crew climbs into the ring, and Grunt, LI, Denial and Beast immediately attack! LI challenges Justin to a kung fu fight off, and despite not knowing any kung fu to speak of, Justin accepts, and things go as poorly as you would imagine. Beast and Awesome Bill fight one another and fall between the ropes to the floor. Anders backs Phil into the corner and he tries some chops, but Phil reverses it quickly and chops the hell out of Denial. In the last corner, Grunt kind of looks lost, so he just knocks Carl down and sits on his back, uncertain what to do next. On the outside Bill ducks a big boot from Beast and catches him with a clothesline to the back of the head that sends the big man down. Bill climbs into the ring and spins LI around and tries some Redneck Kung Fu, but LI is clearly better than Bill as well. LI takes turns beating down both of them until Phil casually walks over, kicks LI in the gut and hits the ASTRO PLUNDER THUNDER BUSTER! LI IS DEAD! Seriously, he rolls out of the ring and likely dies. Referees check on him. Grunt finally gets off of Carl and walks to the middle of the ring and he fights with the three. Carl grabs him from behind and tries to lift him, but Grunt is a massive, massive man. Phil and Bill get on one side, Carl and Justin on the other, and they manage to hit a belly to back suplex on him that sends the big man to the floor. Anders Denial goes into beast mode, howling in the corner, then charges right into the four, and gets a QUADRULPE headbutt from Justin, Phil, Carl and Bill! Denial falls to his knees and rolls out of the ring. The four stand victorious in the middle of the ring, and the crowd roars in celebration. Somehow LI is not dead and he slides into the ring, But things go exceedingly poorly for LI. With the crowd cheering wildly, the lights go out, and we hear DOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAWK! Then the sounds of a jackhammer, a man saying “happy little clouds” the whistle of a bomb being dropped, the squawk of crow, and finally a chorus of children sing the last verse of “today was a good day” When the lights come back on, LI is covered in blood, lying in the middle of the ring, and Justin Sane is standing there wearing only a thong. The three look at him oddly, and he just shrugs. Carl pulls LI up and hits GREETINGS FROM FRESNO, Phil pulls him up and hits a YARPLEX. Bill is about to do something, when he says he is parched. Justin tosses him his bottle of Pine Cone Party Likker, he opens the top and BEAST POPS OUT………and is drunk off his ass! Beast staggers around the ring for a moment, likely blind and suffering from alcohol poisoning, Bill grabs him and hits the DECATUR DROP while the other three pile on LI, who seriously could be dead, shouldn’t someone check? They all get the ONE! TWO! THREE! As the crowd counts along. WINNERS in 20:20 – Phil, Justin Sane, Carl From Fresno & Awesome Bill From Dawsonville Nash: I think Drunkey might have been the most accomplished wrestler in that match Russ: That was bowling shoe ugly. Has anyone checked on LI yet? Razz: I am getting word that he is, in fact, NOT dead. Beast on the other hand……..he has injested more Pine Cone Party Likker than what can safely be consumed by most small countries Nash: Or Awesome Bill From Dawsonville Russ: The OOWF would like to state that they are against drinking to excess, please enjoy responsibly, and drink in moderation Nash: Has anyone seen poor Scott? Last I saw he was going to party with Bill….. Razz: Face it Nash, Scott is gone man, Scott is gone Russ: Moving right along, Ghosthead and Ricky Soaring Eagle face Carl Coolname and Mark Vander Razz: Ghosthead and Soaring Eagle are a very impressive team on paper. These guys would be hard for anyone to beat, Coolenam, while a tag team specialist, and Vander, well I just don’t see how they have a shot here honestly Nash: It has been a lot of years since Revolution X and Revolution XX, Coolname has been off the radar, as has Vander. I think they will make a match of it, but in the end Ghost and Eagle win this one Russ: I am inclined to agree about this, but I think Coolname can pull the upset. One way to find out……GHOSTHEAD & RICKY SOARING EAGLE vs. CARL COOLNAME & MARK VANDERCoolname and Vander get a nice cheer from the crowd and they talk some strategy over in the corner. Ghosthead and Soaring Eagle are announced next and they storm the ring before the bell even rings. Soaring Eagle grabs Vander and tries a whip, but pulls him back and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. Ghosthead has Coolname pinned in the corner and repeatedly rams his shoulder into Carl’s midsection. Finally Coolname catches him with a knee that slows him down, then reverses him in the corner and lights him up with chops, sends him across the ring and follows him in with a running knee to the face. Ghost falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring to the floor. Meanwhile, Coolname grabs Soaring Eagles arms, and hits a bridging suplex for a two count. Soaring Eagle is quickly to his feet, but Vander and Coolname catch him with a double drop kick that sends him over the top rope to the floor where he storms around the ring threatening anyone and everything that looks at him. Ghost and Soaring Eagle regroup and Ghost starts the match with Vander. They lock up and Vander catches Ghosthead with a forearm to the side of the head, then sends him to the ropes and tries a hiptoss, but Ghost blocks it and nearly takes Vander’s head off with a clothesline. Ghost pulls Vander up and hits a snap suplex, then tags in Soaring Eagle. RSE comes in, bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across Vander’s chest, and covers, but Vander kicks out at two. Ricky Soaring Eagle and Ghosthead show some nice teamwork, and a mean streak like we haven’t seen before. Mark Vander is busted open after Ghisthead slingshots him over the top rope, and, while the referee is distracted, Soaring Eagle slams him face first into the ring post. They batter Vander some more. Soaring Eagle brings him to his feet and lifts him in a military press, but somehow Vander is able to shift his weight, and reverse it into a HURRACARANA! With Soaring Eagle down, Vander is able to leap to his corner and make the tag to Carl! Coolname comes in and catches Soaring Eagle with several punches upside the head, backing him into the corner. Ghosthead tries to come in and attack from behind, but Coolname moves and he slams into Soaring Eagle head first. As Ghosthead staggers around the ring, Coolname hits him with a drop kick that sends him over the top rope to the floor. Soaring Eagle walks out of the corner and Coolname nearly takes his head off with a spinning heel kick. Coolname sets up for a SUPERKICK, but from the outside, Ghosthead grabs his foot providing a momentary distraction. When Coolname turns back around, Soaring Eagle nearly cuts him in half with a SPEAR! Soaring Eagle pulls a stunned Coolname up and PLANTS him with a RETURN TO EARTH! He tags in Ghosthead, who lands the PHANTASMAGORIA, covers and gets the three count. WINERS in 14:44 – Ricky Soaring Eagle & Ghosthead Russ: Coolname and Vander gave it their best, and it was good to see them in an OOWF ring again, but Ghosthead and Ricky Soaring Eagle were just too much for them to handle. Razz: Yeah, there was nothing wrong with their effort, but they were just overmatched by two of the best wrestlers on the OOWF roster today Nash: Call it what it is. They lost. They lost to the better team. And to be perfectly honest, were they all that good to begin with? Razz: I am sure you could have beat Ghost and Eagle on your own, right? Nash: Don’t be silly, I would have used brass knuckles Russ: Naturally. Moving along, we owe Seraph an apology. Yesterday we intimated that Seraph ate rats in his spare time, clearly we meant to put that bit of unpleasantness on Endo. Razz: Yeah sorry about that Seraph, now please stop staring in my window at night Nash: That dude is creepy enough to eat rats, but yeah, it wasn’t him. Russ: This match, I mean The Halfrican Americans and Austraroo can just flat out FLY. I am not sure Blade, Endo and Morte can keep up with them Nash: All it takes is one move to ground them and then three seconds to pin them. All the high flying in the world doesn’t help if you get your bell rung properly Razz: That’s a good point, but you also can’t pin what you can’t catch, which makes me wonder how you ever won a match Nash Russ: ZING! Nash: Seriously? Don’t you have to be this tall to wrestle in a pro ring? Russ: Take your zinger in stride Nash, and while you do, we’ll head to the ringBLADE, ENDO & MORTE vs. NAYR, FLY & AUSTRAROOBlade, with Ayaka, Endo and Morte all make their way to the ring. The crowd boos them loudly, and they play it up to their best heel ability. Nayr and Fly – The Halfrican Americans, and Austraroo are announced next and sprint to the ring and slide under the bottom rope to the middle of the ring. Ayaka gets in Fly’s face, and he just looks at her, and mentions something about a hood rat, which sets her off. Blade pulls her away and she leaves the ring. Blade demands that Fly stay in the ring, the bell rings and we are under way! Blade charges at Fy but he ducks a clothesline and sweeps Blade’s legs sending him to the mat. Fly pops right back to his feet and hits the ropes and catches Blade with a running knee lift as he gets to one knee. Blade hits the mat, and Fly hits a standing moonsault for a one count. Fly waits and charges in again, but this time Blade takes him to the amt with a drop toe hold, then drags him to the middle rope and chokes him out, breaking only when the referee threatens disqualification. As Blade turns to argue with the referee, Ayaka SLAPS the taste out of Fly’s mouth! Blade pulls Fly off the ropes and sends him to the ropes and tries to catch him with a side slam, but Fly flips through it and takes Blade to the mat with a hurracrana! Blade staggers to his feet and slumps in the corner, Fly charges in and hits a BRONCO BUSTER, then reaches out and tags in Roo. Roo comes in and climbs to the top rope and waits for Blade to fight to his feet, then tries a cross body, but Blade ducks, or falls to the mat and Austraroo crashes and burns. Blade finally makes the tag to Endo, and the Odd One comes in and pulls Roo up and KILLS him with a pendulum backbreaker, trying his best to snap him in half. He keeps Roo on his knee and tries to get the submission, when he can’t he reaches out and tags in Morte, who springs over the top rope and drops a leg across Roo’s chest and covers for a two count. The match continues back and forth, and is actually a pretty good six man match. Nayr hits Endo with a 630 SPLASH and nearly gets a three count, but Blade saves him. The end comes when Fly tries to hit a corkscrew moonsault on Blade, but Ayaka reaches up and grabs his leg, causing him to lose his balance and crotch himself on the top. Blade climbs to the top rope, hooks Fly and hits a BRAINBUSTAAAAAA! Nayr and Roo try to make the save, but Endo and Morte cut them off. Blade covers, with Ayaka holding onto Fly’s leg on the outside for good measure, and he gets the three count. WINNERS in 12:01 – Blade, Endo & Morte Russ: And once again…… Razz: ok seriously Russ, I think it is time to let that go. I mean Fly DID call her a hood rat….. Russ: And that justifies interference? Nash: If you watch the WWE it does. Just kidding Vince! Love getting those paychecks from you! Russ: You are such a whore Nash: Cash rules everything around me, homie Razz: Thug life yo John Cena: I am the only Doctor of Thuganomics! Russ: No one has called you that in years. Beside, don’t you have a guy half your size to beat up? Cena: Well, that SYB guy DID say my jorts made my ass look big…… Razz: Be a star John. Russ: Moving on…..We now come to what I feel is the meat and potatoes of the lineup. Our first of three tremendous matches. The OOWF World tag team champions, Phoenix Rising face The Flying Hawaiians and Gods and Monsters in a non-title match Razz: This really is a TREMENDOUS match, and I am not even going to BEGIN to dissect the history between these three teams. You have ties to Japan, you have ties to Run DEA, you have ties to The Five, you have kidnap, you have torture, you have hard feelings, you really have everything you could possibly want. Nash: The important thing is, who wins? Russ: My god, how do you pick? Poe and Tytan have not teamed in many years, so I guess that rules them out somewhat, but they are both spectacular athletes. The Flyin Hawaiians and Phoenix Rising are active…….I really can’t pick a winner here Nash: I am taking Gods and Monsters. Poe doesn’t like to lose, and I think he wills his team to a win Razz: You can only will so much and then you have to rely on what you can do in the ring. Phoenix Rising are the current OOWF world tag team champs, I see no reason to bet against the champs Russ: It’s time, it’s time, it’s TAG TEAM TIME! Nash: How long have you been sitting on that little gem? Russ: Never you mind. Let’s head to the ring*A break in the action, and the Indianapolis crowd can finally catch their breath, it seems. That is, until all the lights go out. A murmur goes through the crowd, as this could literally be anyone. The first strains of "Pull Me Under" start to play, and the crowd goes absolutely batshit as "Davin Moreland" appears on the Jumbotron. Lights back on, and Davin's in his Hoverround, waving to everyone and making his way to the ring. This draws a loud cheer as he heads down the ramp. He leaves his Hoverround at the ring steps, and takes 2 canes to help himself into the ring. Jokingly, he acts winded in the corner, drawing a chuckle. It's not until now that the crowd notices his #87 Patriots jersey, and a mild booing starts.* DM: Oh come on, even I have pandering standards people. *Laugh from the crowd* DM: Anyway, I got a call from the Board of Directors, and from GM al-Tikriti to "please please please please be on the 500th show it won't be the same without you please please please please I'll be your best friend please..." *laughing* DM: Ok, that was just Selena's conversation. So said to myself, “Self? What's better than late June in the middle of Indiana?” *cheap pop* DM: Yeah, I couldn't come up with an answer either. *BOO~!* DM: Ok, ok fine. Well, it's the 500th show, and everyone knows you CANNOT tell the story of the OOWF without 2 little words... DM: Davin. Moreland. *cheap pop * DM: Y'all know me. Y'all know what I've done. You know my history. You know my legacy. You know that a living legend stands before you in this very ring. "Living Legend", a nickname I both earned and didn't earn. *cheering* DM: I mean "legend"? Yes, I'm a legend. You're damn right I am. Living? I am alive here, talking to you, crutching it up...but let's face it. Davin Moreland didn't get to go out on his own terms, did he? *unanimous 'no' from the crowd* DM: No, no I didn't. I know that's made a lot of you angry, and hell, I was angry about it for a long time. But you know what? The greats in this business don't always go out on their own terms. In fact, they almost never do. So why should I be any different? *applause for Davin's positive attitude. A red light starts to blink from the camera across the arena.* DM: And you, Mr. Producer Guy, you can take that red light, find a bus, jump in front of it and die, because DAVIN MORELAND'S IN INDY TONIGHT~! *the cheapest of cheap pops. That one made me a little nauseous.* DM: I know a lot of you have asked. Sam's good, Mickie's good, Moony's good, and you already saw that Shawn's back... *cheap pop for Shawn Johnson* DM: You can always follow me on Twitter and Facebook, we put pictures up all the time; so you all can see what I'm doing. And I know you're out there, because SOMEONE out there is still buying my t-shirts. Well guess what? "Davin Moreland: Life of the GOAT Vol. 1" is out on DVD! *yay!* DM: It's a complete first volume, with 27 DVDs! In fact, I guarantee in the first 3 DVDs, I'll say more than the entire New Guard stable has ever said...ever. *cheap pop* DM: Anyway, I'm here to announce a tag match. Well, announce that there IS a tag match. *yaaaaaaayyy* DM: Ok then. *clears throat, channels Michael Buffer* Ladies and gentlemen, may I direct your attention to the ring area... *cheering* DM: The following tag-team 3-way match is scheduled for one fall with NOOOOOOO time limit... *moar cheerz* DM: First, I would like to introduce to you, the multiple-time Tag Team Champions, and two of the douchiest little fucks I've ever had the displeasure of coming across...accompanied by their Hawai'ian Ho Noelani....From Hawai'i...Aina and The Kai....The Flyinnnnnnn' Hawai'iaaaaaaans.... *Their music hits, and they are PISSED~! Mixed reaction on the way down, as even heels get cheers tonight, but The Kai gets right in Davin's face; looking like he's going to do something* DM: Woah...slow down there, Sparky...You wanna get froggy with Davin? That's fine. Just know that the 4 other people in this match may not be too pumped about that. How does that grab you? TK: The Kai says... DM: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT GRABS YOU~! *big pop for the gimmick infringement* DM: The ONLY THING THAT MATTERS is that your opponents, returning to OOWF for One. Night. Only. Are to be introduced next. Both are former champions in our business, and also two of the only people in this business I've been able to look in the eye. Ladies and Gentlemen...from, let's say Cairo, Egypt...HE! IS! POE! *cheering* DM: And his partner, from, oh let's say "Parts Unknown"...TYTAN! *cheering* DM: Together, they are...Gods! And! Monsters! *big pops as Poe and Tytan are welcomed back by the crowd. They get into the ring and stare down the Hawai'ians, who back away from Davin after that.* DM: And last but not least, the two latest additions to not only the Grand Slam club, but the Davin Moreland ™ 6-Pack Champions Club! *lots of cheers* DM: Accompanied to the ring by Eugenio...from Piscatawayyyyy, New J- er...I mean...West Palm Beach, Florida...Alexander Darling...and from DEEEEEE-troit, Michigan....Firewoman! *And they make their way out. And they get cheers. And they get in the ring and bullshit with Davin for a second before bullshitting with Poe and Tytan.* DM: 3-way tag team match, one fall to a finish...no time limit... *he climbs out of the ring to cheers as he Hoverrounds to the back* PHOENIX RISING vs. GODS & MONSTERS vs. THE FLYIN HAWAIIANSFire and Tytan are going to start things off. The two slowly circle, a whole lot of bad blood here, but Tytan has said he wants to keep it on the level. They lock up and Fire slips behind Tytan and tries to take him to the mat, but the larger Tytan stands his ground. He tries to pry Fire’s hands apart, then reaches down and grabs her leg and pulls her to the mat. Tytan turns and tries to drop an elbow, but Fire moves out of the way and spins to her feet. Tytan gets to his feet quickly, and Fire tries a spinning heel kick, but Tytan ducks it and they both hit the ropes and try a clothesline and both duck that, stop and turn and are both about to throw a punch when they pull short, smirk and make tags. Fire tags in The Kai while Tytan tags in Alex. Alex comes in and he and Kai lock up, Alex pushes Kai to the corner and blisters him with chops. The Kai quickly reverses positions and lights Alex up with chops, then slams him in the face with a headbutt. Alex staggers out of the corner, and The Kai catches him on the jaw with a savate kick sending him to the mat. The Kai pulls him to his feet and reaches out and tags in Poe. Alex frees himself from The Kai’s grip with a kick to the gut. Alex and Poe slowly circle and lock up. Alex grabs an arm wringer, which Poe immediately reverses. He drives Alex to his knee with an elbow to his shoulder, but Alex gets back up and starts landing kicks to the sides of Poe’s knees breaking the hold and shoving him to the ropes, then landing a low drop kick to Poe’s ankle that takes the big man to the mat. Alex spins to his feet and catches Poe with a kick to the side of the head, then pulls him up and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a SPINEBUSTER! Alex covers Poe, but Poe kicks out at one. Alex keeps Poe on the mat and reaches out and tags in Fire, Fire springs to the top rope and lands a perfect FIRESAULT and covers, but Poe kicks out of that at two. Fire and Alex run through some impressive double team moves and try to keep Poe on the mat, but they can’t keep him down for more than a two. Fire is back in the ring, she pulls Poe up and sends him into the corner an charges in, but Poe moves out of the way and Fire SLAM into the turnbuckle sternum first, as she staggers backward, Poe CLUBS her to the mat with a clothesline, then reaches out and tags in Aina. Aina comes in and pulls Fire to her feet and lifts her for a side slam, then DRIVES her down across his knee. Aina gets up and runs the ropes, then drops a headbutt right between Fire’s eyes. He covers, but Fire kicks out at one. Aina waits for her to get to her feet, then lands a spinning heel kick to the gut, hooks her and DRIVES her to the mat with a PUMPHANDLE POWERBOMB! Aina covers, but Fire kicks out just before the three count. Aina pulls Fire to her feet and backs her in to the Hawaiians corner and tags in The Kai. They proceed to chop Fire into oblivion, driving her to the mat. The Kai tags Aina back in, because the referee wants SOMEONE to get out of the ring. Aina pulls Fire up and dumps her to the mat and keeps hold of her leg. He reaches out and tags in The Kai again and Kai runs to the ropes, Aina catapults Fire up and Kai slams into her with a flying knee! Fire is in trouble! The Kai covers and hooks the leg hard, but Alex breaks it up at two. The Kai and Alex have a few words, but Alex leaves the ring without further incident. The Kai pulls a dazed Fire to her feet and grabs her around the throat and lifts her for a CHOKESLAM, but Fire reverses it into a DDT! Fire crawls to the corner and tags in Tytan! Tytan charges into the ring and takes the Kai down with a clothesline. Aina comes in and gets a clothesline of his own. The Kai pops back up and Tytan lifts him over his head in a press slam, then drops him into a JACKHAMMER! Tytan covers, but Kai kicks out at two. Tytan pulls Kai back to his feet and bear hugs him, then DRIVES him to the mat wit ha belly to belly suplex and covers again, but once again Kai kicks out at two. The match continues on, and on, and on, and on. We pass forty-five minutes, we pass an hour, and we are now almost eighty minutes in. All three teams are exhausted. Firewoman is bleeding after getting knocked into the guard rail head first. The Hawaiians have landed MOLOKAI COCTAIL on Alex, and hit THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT on Tytan, but couldn’t keep them down. Poe caught Kai with a HEIROGLYPH to the face, but couldn’t get the pin. Tytan nearly drove Fire through the mat with the TYTAN DRIVER, but Alex broke it up before the three count. There have been FIRESTOMPS, BEST FIRESAULTS EVER and DARLING DRIVERS, but no three count. There have been MONEY CLIPS, CATTLE MUTILATION, BEARHUGS and SCORPIONS but no submissions. The end comes with Phoenix Rising on the floor and the Hawaiians and Gods & Monsters slugging it out in the middle of the ring. Poe tries a double clothesline, but Kai and Aina duck it and clothesline him over the top rope to the floor. Poe hits hard and falls to the cement grabbing his ankle. The Hawaiians catch Tytan with ANOTHER BUTTERFLY EFFECT, then put the big man on the top rope, facing the audience and climb up and hit a DOUBLE REVERSE SUPLEX! The Hawaiians pop to their feet and Alex and Fire are waiting for them to get to their feet. They hit matching SUPERKICKS to Kai and Aina, sending them over the top rope to the floor. Fire heads to one corner, Alex heads to the other. Alex lands a PHOENIX SPLASH on Tytan, then rolls off just as Fire lands a BEST FIRESAULT EVER! Fire covers, hooking Tytan’s leg, the crowd counts along as they get the one, two, THREE! WINNERS in 88:11 – Phoenix Rising After the match, the Hawaiians roll back into the ring, and Poe gingerly climbs back into the ring. The referee hands Phoenix Rising their titles and they slowly get to their feet. The six meet in the middle of the ring and we have a momentarily tense stare down, then smiles come out and we get handshakes and hugs. Kai and Aina raise Alex’s arms in victory, while Poe and Tytan raise Fire’s arms. The crowd just about wets themselves with joy. What a match! Russ: MAH GAWD WHAT A MATCH! Razz: I am not kidding when I say that may be the greatest tag team match I have ever seen in my life. Just amazing! Nash: Well there was this time in…….you know what? No. I can’t even top this one. Just a remarkable performance by all involved. This match is why the OOWF is, hands down, the best fed in the history of wrestling. Russ: but…… Nash: No buts. That was spectacular Razz: Wow, praise from Caesar right there! Nash: Sometimes you gotta call it like it is. That was phenomenal Russ: I think Phoenix Rising took a tremendous step toward cementing themselves as one of the best teams in wrestling with that win Razz: They still have work to do, but damn if they didn’t click tonight. Russ: And speaking of clicking, yesterday we said Moosehead Jack versus Concrete TG was the greatest feud in OOWF history, and it is perhaps the greatest singles feud ever. The greatest tag team feud? Hands down, Drink & Destroy versus the Chickenshit Heels. Razz: Oh no doubt about it Russ, these guys tore the house down for YEARS, just legendary match after legendary match. When I saw the lineup for these shows, this was one of the matches I was most excited about Nash: I agree that Crete and Moose is an epic feud, but this……this just goes to a whole different level. This is what feuds are about right here. Johnny, Attitude Adjuster, FF Capslock and Stank, four OOWF legends that just don’t much like one another. I can’t wait Russ: You guys care to pick a winner? Razz: Man, this one is really a pick ‘em. I mean both teams have one active guy, and one guy that hasn’t seen action for awhile. They know one another inside and out, I mean, seriously, it’s a toss up Nash: You know, I am not going to pick a winner here. I am just going to sit back and enjoy the shit out of this Russ: Fair enough, with that, let’s head to the ring!DRINK & DESTROY vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELSThe Chickenshit Heels are announced first, and Attitude Adjuster comes out with #HeelCardboardCutoutJohnny Adrenaline, and the crowd boos loudly. Johnny Adrenaline then steps out from behind #HeelCardboardCutout Johnny Adrenaline, and the crowd boos even louder. Johnny and AA head to the ring and step between the ropes. They give the fans a five second pose, and, if possible, they boo even more. The Heels head to the corner and wait, and we hear the familiar strains of Alcohaulin Ass. A little bit of sunshine A little bit of booze A little bit of me And a little bit of you A little bit country A little bit of blues A slice of heaven And a little piece of you... come on<the chorus hits, pyro goes off and Stank and FF Capslock step out from the back, and the crowd comes UNHINGED!> Alcohaulin' ass Pour another drink in my glass Alcohaulin' ass Alcohaul... n' assStank and Capslock make their way to the ring while the fans sing along “Enter Sandman” style. The announcers don’t say a word, they just let the moment speak for itself. Stank and Capslock circle the ring slapping hands then finally climb into the ring. They are no sooner between the ropes when Johnny and AA attack! The referee quickly calls for the bell and this match is underway! Johnny and AA beat Stank and Capslock back into the corner with punches and chops. They try a double whip to the middle of the ring, but Capslock and Stank reverse it and send Johnny and AA at one another. The Chickenshit Heels are too smart for that though, they pull up short, then turn around. Capslock grabs Adrenaline by the throat and yells “CAUGHT ME A MARLIN!” before CHOKESLAMMING him to the mat. AA turns around and walks right into a clothesline from Stank, sending him to the mat as well. AA and Johnny roll under the ropes to the floor and try to regroup while Drink & Destroy give the fans their own five second pose in the middle of the ring. The Heels regroup on the outside and Johnny steps back into the ring. Capslock heads to the corner and Stank turns to face Adrenaline. Johnny extends his hand, and Stank just looks at him like he’s lost his damn mind. After much urging by the crowd, Stank moves to shake his hand, but Johnny hits him with a SCIENTIFIC POKE TO THE EYE! Adrenaline kicks Stank in the gut and PLANTS him on the mat with a DDT! Johnny gets to his feet and stares down at Stank, and yells “WHOS BETTER THAN THE HEELS?” to which the crowd responds “SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!” Adrenaline drops to the mat and chokes Stank, breaking several times just before the disqualification. Johnny grabs Stank’s legs and before he does anything, he turns and taunts Capslock, which brings him into the ring. As the referee moves to get him out of the ring, Johnny drops a knee right on Stank’s jewels. Stank howls in pain and Johnny covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Johnny pulls Stank to his feet and backs him into the corner and unleashes a BRUTAL chop across the chest. Thinking he has this in the bag, Johnny turns and gives us a little Ric Flair strut across the ring. When he turns back around, Stank is just staring at him. Stank charges out of the corner and nearly cuts him in half wit ha SPEAR! Stank grabs Johnny’s leg and pulls him over to the Drink and Destroy corner and makes the tag to Capslock, and the crowd goes nuts! FF Capslock comes in and helps Johnny to his feet. He brushes him off, and assures him everything is going to be ok, then tells him to go ahead and make the tag to AA. Johnny stares at him warily, and slowly inches his way to the TCH corner. AA doesn’t much look like he wants to come into the ring. Johnny, still suspecting a trick, hesitates to tag, and doesn’t seem to know what to do. Finally he reaches out and tags AA, then immediately falls to the mat and covers up. When nothing happens, Johnny rolls out of the ring to the floor and looks thoroughly confused. AA looks pretty lost too, but he slowly steps between the ropes and marches to the center of the ring to face Capslock. Capslock walks right up to AA and slaps him on the shoulder and shakes his hand, and asks him how he’s doing. AA looks dubiously at Capslock, but when Capslock looks out at the crowd and looks sincere AA warms up…….until Capslock pulls him into a bearhug and throws him across the ring with a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! AA begs off in the corner, but Capslock stalks him. Just as he is about to grab AA by the hair, Johnny runs down the apron and NAILS Capslock with a forearm to the back of the head. As the referee gets Johnny back to his corner, AA hits a LOW BLOW that doubles Capslock over. AA gets to his feet and hits a quick PILEDRIVER on Capslock, and covers, but FFC rolls his shoulder at two. The Heels take over. Keeping Capslock in their corner, they hit every dirty trick in the book to try and get the three count. Capslock takes shots to the groin not once, not twice, not even three times, but FOUR separate times he gets crotched by either fist or post. Stank is LIVID in the apron, and threatens to separate the Heels heads from their bodies. AA pulls Capslock up and hits a HOTSHOT hanging him on the top rope. As Capslock staggers backward, Johnny comes in and chop blocks his knee from behind, then traps him in a figure four leg lock. AA immediately drops off the apron and plays the role of JJ Dillion, grabbing Johnny’s hands for additional leverage. Capslock howls in pain but he will not quit. He fights the move and almost has it rolled over when AA starts into the ring, which draws Stank into the ring. When the referee checks Stank, AA comes into the ring and kicks Capslock in the mouth forcing him back on his mat and back into the figure four. This happens two or three times before Stank just jumps off the apron and walks around the ring, and grabs AA, who is once again helping Adrenaline, spins him around and DROPS him with a right to the jaw! Inside the ring, Capslock turns the move over and Johnny immediately breaks the hold and tries to make the tag, but Stank pulls him up and hits the STANK-U on the floor! Johnny bails out of the ring and sees his partner is out, so he grabs a chair. He brings it into the ring and raises it to hit Lock, but Stank artfully distracts the referee and Lock PUNCHES the chair right back into Adrenaline’s face! Johnny staggers, and Capslock grabs him and hits the GREETINGS FROM FRESNO! Stank grabs a couple of beers from the Canadian Announce Table and climbs into the ring. Capslock and Stank each put a foot on Johnny’s chest and slam their beers together and get the one. Two, three as they chug. WINNERS in 33:47 – Drink & Destroy Russ: Did you HEAR the crowd for that? In all my time in wrestling, there was ONE time I heard a crowd response that was similar to that, when Lex Luger and Barry Windham beat Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson for the NWA tag team titles. And this, quite frankly, blew that out of the water. Razz: I think I have a wrestling chub Nash: Ewww. Gross. Understandable, but gross Russ: Yeah, I could have lived the rest of my life not hearing that and been just fine Razz Razz: Hey, what can I say, that match was OFF THA HOOK! Nash: When two teams have the chemistry they do, that happens. When the Rock N’Roll Express faced the Midnight Express back in the day, same thing. They knew one another, they hated one another, and the matches were almost always classic. Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait another 500 shows before we see these two go at it one more time. Russ: Are you guys ready? It is main event time Razz: This match is going to be…… Russ: Underdawg versus LD Williams was the very first match in OOWF history. Five hundred shows later, and here we are again. Underdawg won that first encounter, but this is a very, very different LD Willaims from September 29, 2004 Nash: There is a reason many, including myself, consider LD Williams the best wrestler in the world. He has come a long, long way from that day. Underdawg is a legend, but LD Williams is now his equal Razz: There is not much I can add to that. LD Williams has become money in the ring. He is the gold standard. I don’t want to take anything at all away from Underdawg, he is an OOWF Hall of Famer for a reason, he is also one of the best ever, but right now, LD is at the very top of his game, he is the top of the food chain, he is the apex predator, this is now HIS yard Russ: My sentiments exactly. Though, I will be honest, I cannot imagine a better match to highlight this spectacular. I have not anticipated a match this much in a long long time. Enough waiting, let’s go to the ring!
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jun 21, 2012 20:05:14 GMT -5
LD WILLIAMS vs. UNDERDAWGtonight we are going to witness the most anticipated match in the history of professional wrestling, for the title of BEST IN THE WORLD. Are you ready? Wrestling fans, are you rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrready? For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world, from the great city of Indianapolis in the Hoosier State. Ladies and Gentlemen LETS GET READY TO RUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEBONG BONG WOOF First, from standing 7’2” and weighing in at 300 pounds. He hails from Parts Unknown, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lord of Dawgness, theeeeeeeeee Unnnnnnnnnnnnnderrrrrrrdawg!“Doggy Dogg World” plays and Underdawg comes out on his ATV. He tears down the ramp, then circles the ring. He gets off the ATV and slowly walks up the stairs to the ring. As he steps between the ropes, he takes off his pimp hat and his eyes roll into the back of his head and he lets out an evil howl. The crowd eats it up. His opponent, standing 6’2”, weighing 235 pounds. He comes to us from Cambridge Ontario Canada. He is the current reigning OOWF World Heavyweight Champion……..Ladies and Gentlemen…..LD WILLLLLLLLLLLIAMS!“Jekyll and Hyde” plays and LD Williams makes his way to the ring, and gets a standing ovation from the crowd. LD climbs onto the apron, shows respect by wiping his feet, then slowly takes off the world title and holds it high above his head, which pops the crowd HUGE! LD steps between the ropes and he and Dawg go chest to nose. Dawg stares down at LD, and the slightest smirk crosses his face. He takes a step back and offers his hand, and LD shakes it without hesitation. The referee sends them to the corner, then calls for the bell, folks our main event is UNDER WAY! The bell rings and the two men meet in the middle of the ring and lock up. Dawg pushes LD back to the corner and hammers him with clubbing blows to the chest. LD withstands the shots and seems to be annoyed by them, and comes out firing with chops, forearms and kicks, backing Dawg to the ropes. LD tries a whip to the opposite ropes, but Dawg reverses it. LD tries a cross body on the rebound, but UD catches him and throws him over his shoulder with a fallaway slam. LD gets to his feet, but Dawg is right on him, peppering him with punches to the head. LD tries to get his arms up to block them, but a couple connect and rock LD hard. Dawg grabs LD and whips him HARD into the corner. LD slams off the turnbuckle and staggers out, and gets a big backbody drop for his efforts. LD pops to his feet, but Dawg catches him with a clothesline that sends him to the floor. LD bails out of the ring and walks around muttering to himself with his hands on his hips. LD kicks a few random ringside objects, then looks in the ring, where Dawg has dropped to one knee, and is motioning for LD to bring it. LD climbs onto the apron and slowly steps between the ropes. They lock up again and LD grabs an arm wringer, but Dawg immediately reverses it into a hammerlock. LD tries to get to the ropes, but Dawg spins him to the mat and tries for the submission. LD does not give up, and eventually reaches the bottom rope, forcing the break. Dawg pulls Williams up again and catches him with a kick to the gut, then grabs his arm and leaps over the top rope, snapping his arm on the top strand. LD staggers around the ring holding his shoulder (the same shoulder, if you will recall, that Stan Fulton tried to tear off LD’s body). Dawg gets back into the ring and grabs that same arm, wrings it, then climbs the ropes, walks the ropes and leaps with a big chop to LD’s shoulder. LD falls to the mat and once again bails out of the ring to regroup. LD stands there for a moment and the crowd starts chanting “LD! LD! LD!” Williams just smirks and slowly walks around the ring, then up the stairs and into the ring. LD and Dawg lock up again, and Dawg once again goes to the arm, wringing it and snapping it and taking LD to his knees. Dawg points to the corner for another rope walk, and the crowd responds with a “HELL YEAH!” Dawg moves to the corner and climbs the ropes, then starts walking out on the ropes, but LD was playing possum! He grabs Dawg’s arm and pulls him toward him, and falls to the mat, catching Dawg with AGONY OF DEFEAT! Dawg’s head snaps back and he hits the ropes then falls to the mat. LD Williams gets to his feet and shakes the pain out of his arm. HE charges across the ring and drops a knee across Dawg’s chest, then drags him to the corner and STOMPS A MUDHOLE in him! LD stops just short of flipping the double bird, but he backs across the ring and charges in and catches Dawg with a knee to the face. Dawg falls to the mat, and now it is his turn to roll out of the ring to regroup. Dawg staggers around the floor, but LD has no intention of letting him regroup. Williams leaves the ring and waits for Dawg to turn around, then launches himself at him catching him with a hard knee to the chest that sends Dawg staggering backward, falling and slamming the back of his head on the guard rail. LD doesn’t give him a second rest, instead he pulls him up and rolls him under the bottom rope and crawls in after him and covers, but only gets a two count. LD pulls a stunned Dawg to his feet and sets him up for the CANADIAN DESTROYER! But Dawg ain’t having none of that! He reverses that into an ALABAMA SLAM, bouncing LD’s head off the canvas. LD lies motionless for a moment, as Dawg recovers, he covers LD, but Williams kicks out at two. Dawg shoves LD into the corner, then sets him on the top rope and climbs up after him. Dawg takes LD all the way to the top rope, then steps up himself and hits a TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX! Dawg holds on and floats over and instead of a pin, he locks LD into a FUJIWARA ARM BAR! LD howls in pain and is nowhere near the ropes. LD struggles and manages to get to his feet with Dawg on his back. He turns and gets several two counts, but he is also very vulnerable to getting trapped in the GOGOPLATA. Dawg breaks and tries for that, but LD anticipates it and grabs Dawg’s legs and quickly turns him over into a SHARPSHOOTER! Now it is Dawg’s turn to howl in pain. The referee asks him if he wants to quit, but he snarls and reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. LD Williams breaks the hold, then grabs Dawg’s legs again and pulls him to the middle of the ring, pounces on him and traps him in the CROSSFACE! Dawg is in trouble again! LD wrenches back on the move as hard as he can and Dawg looks like he might tap out. He squirms around and is JUST able to get his foot on the bottom rope forcing the break. LD is relentless though, he pulls Dawg up and grabs him by the hair and repeatedly slams him in the face with headbutts staggering the big man. After several shots, he slips behind Dawg and hits a trio of German suplexes! Dawg may be OUT! LD goes all Chris Benoit and gets to his feet and does the throat slash, then heads to the top rope for a diving headbutt! LD soars through the air, but now it is Dawg’s turn to play a little possum. He rolls out of the way and LD SLAMS into the mat! Dawg gets to his feet grabs a stunned LD by the throat and hits a CHOKESLAM! Dawg covers, but LD kicks out at two. UD is not fazed by the kick out at all, he pulls LD to his feet and lifts him for a suplex, then throws him at the ropes. LD lands stomach first on the top rope, then bounces off and lands on his feet on the apron, Dawg charges across the ring and catches him with a boot to the side of the head that sends him off the apron, flying ribs first into the guard rail. LD lies on the floor gasping for air, Dawg slowly leaves the ring, stalking his prey. Dawg stands over him and looks down at the champ, then slowly pulls him up and sets him up and hits an APRON POWERBOMB! LD slams into the apron and falls to the floor, a look of pure agony on his face as he tries to get his breath. Dawg rolls him into the ring and covers, but somehow the champ kicks out at two. The crowd breaks into a “THIS IS AWESOME” chant, and for perhaps the first time in wrestling history, it is completely appropriate. LD manages to get to his feet and falls into the corner. Dawg charges in and smothers him with a clothesline, then starts hammering him with rights and lefts. Once again LD tries to cover up, and once again a few of them find their mark and leave the champ reeling. LD tries to slip out of the corner, but Dawg grabs him and shoves him right back into the corner and hammers him with more big shots to the head. LD tries to escape again and once again he is stopped by Dawg. Finally LD snaps and begins fighting back. The two of them trade furious punches for a solid two minutes, LD backing Dawg across the ring until they are toe to toe in the middle of the ring. Dawg begins getting the worst of the exchange and does what he has to do, he catches LD with a knee to the gut, then quickly lifts him and hits a POWERBOMB! Dawg takes a moment to compose himself, seemingly believing the match is over. He covers LD, hooking the leg, but LD kicks out at two. LD looks worse for the wear, his face is starting to swell and he has a bloody gash above one eye from one of the punches. Dawg pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with another clothesline. Now it is Dawg’s turn to signal the end of the match. He slashes his throat and waits for LD to stand up, then scoops him up and hits the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! THAT’S IT! Dawg folds LD’s arms across his chest and covers one…….two…….NO! LD KICKS OUT OF THE TOMBSTONE! Dawg cannot believe it. He pulls LD to his feet and Williams can barely stand, He sets LD up for another POWERBOMB, but LD backdrops out of it. The champ drops to one knee and snarls for Dawg to get up, when he does, LD kicks him and hits a CANADIAN DESTROYER! Are you fucking kidding me? LD covers one…..two…..NO! DAWG KICKED OUT OF THE DESTROYER! Now it is LD’s turn to look stunned. He pulls Dawg up again and shoves him into the corner, keeps hold of him and hits a CHAOS THEORY! LD bridges hard on the German, but SOMEHOW Dawg kicks out at two! The crowd takes this opportunity to break into a HOLY SHIT chant. LD looks frustrated, and exhausted. Dawg is also on the mat, breathing hard. LD pulls him up and wants another CANADIAN DESTROYER, but Taker drops to his knees, grabs LD’s ankle and trips him to the mat! Dawg tries to get LD in an ANKLE LOCK, but LD repeatedly kicks him in the face finally catching him with a flush shot that drops him to the mat. LD gets to his feet and heads to the corner and climbs the ropes. As Dawg gets to his feet, LD leaps and tries a cross body, but Dawg catches him, and in one fluid motion, hefts him over his shoulder and hits another TOMBSTONE! Ok that’s it, it’s over. Dawg covers again, this time more seriously one……..two……..NO! HOLY SHIT LD KICKED OUT! Dawg is seriously stunned by this, as is the OOWF crowd. Dawg looks down at LD like he is just not sure what he has to do to him to keep him down. He slowly gets to his feet and tries to pull LD up, but Williams is nothing but dead weight. Dawg finally gets him up for yet ANOTHER powerbomb, but LD traps Dawg’s arm, and falls to the mat HE HAS DAWG TRAPPED IN THE GOGOPLATA! Dawg frantically looks for an escape, but LD has it cinched in tightly. Dawg grabs LD and lifts him in the air and SLAMS him to the mat again, but LD will not leg to. Dawg tries to lift him a third time, but he only gets him a few inches off the mat before slumping to the mat, his face bright red. Dawg looks to the ropes, but he is nowhere near, finally, with no other choice DAWG TAPS OUT! WINNER in 51:22 – LD Williams LD immediately releases the hold and both men remain on the mat for several minutes. Finally LD gets to his feet and helps Dawg to his. Dawg shoves LD away, and we get a moment of tension before Dawg grins and he and LD share a manly hug of mutual respect. Dawg raises LD’s arm in victory, then takes the OOWF world heavyweight title from the referee and drapes it across LD’s shoulder. LD playfully tussles LD’s hair, then they share another manly hug of mutual respect. Just then, the locker rooms empty. Every OOWF wrestler, including everyone in the jobber battle royal head down the ramp. They surround the ring, and fill the ring and salute the people. The crowd as a whole gives the entire fed a standing ovation, and the cheers are absolutely DEAFENING. Russ: There is nothing I can add Nash: I am EXHAUSTED after those last three matches Razz: There ain’t NOTHIN like the OOWF. NOTHING! Russ: Folks, thank you for joining us on this very special OOWF 500. We hope to see you for 500 more, and then some! For Razz and Nash, I’m Russ, GOODNIGHT!Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Mid-Summer Night’s Scream June 24th Live! From Rosemont, Illinois. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! June 27th, Live! From Houston, Texas See something you like? Post it here in the 2012 Awards Reminder Thread For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!***OOC*** And now, this is the part where I thank everyone who has ever participated in the OOWF. If I could, I would list every one of you right here. Everyone who has written a match, created a character, promoed, offered up ides, everything. Without everyone’s help, this wouldn’t have seen 100 shows, let alone 500. Think about it, this little exercise in creative writing has been going on for almost eight years. To me, that is remarkable. The amount of creativity and writing talent that has contributed to this is truly amazing. Everyone involved deserves their own standing ovation. Until then, all I can do is, once again, thank you all. -Moose
|
|