OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (07/11) Live from Los Angeles,

[BookerShark]

*American Sunrise Complex*

Wyatt Cox is looking over paperwork when there is a knock at the door. Wyatt looks confused for a second...

Wyatt: I thought you went to the show with the girls, Mary....come in, come in...

The door opens and a hooded figure stands there. He removes the hood and we see that it's Alexander Darling.

Alexander: Your security let me in, hope you don't mind.

Wyatt: Surprised to see you go about things that way while your wife...

Alexander: My wife does things her way, I do them mine. And stop looking so worried, I'm not going to do anything to you. You're just a frail old man, right?

Wyatt: What do you want?

Alexander: I want a lot of things Wyatt, but from you, tonight...I want to take a seat, drink some of your fine scotch and wait for your "daughters" to get back. Some things I want to make clear and I want to make sure I do it once and in person.

Wyatt: And why do you think I'd allow you to do any of that?

Alexander: Because you're all about image right now Wyatt. And if you kick me out of here when I came here the right way, came to you first...everything Alexis, Fire and myself have been saying about you...well you'll just prove us right. And you can't have that. You've spent too much time dragging our names through the mud so you can't take the chance that someone finds out the truth.

Wyatt: I don't know when they'll be back...

Alexander: I can wait. I assume your scotch is top of the line.

Wyatt reluctantly pours two glasses and the two gentlemen sit in silence as they sip from their glasses.


-----------TIME WARP, A few hours later-------------------

The two men are still nursing their drinks when there's a loud commotion from out in the hallway and then the door bursts open...

Edra: OMG, you should have been there...

Clio: We saw Train and The Dillingers....

Edra: And THE SLANTS were there. Their bassist...if I wasn't, you know...I so would.

Wyatt: Girls, girls...we have company *motions to the side of the room*

Alexander: *nodding* Edra, Clio...

Mary Lou: What is he doing here?

Wyatt: He has something he'd like to discuss with Clio, Edra and myself.

Mary Lou: And you let him stay...

Wyatt: I did...but now the time is at hand, Alex. What is it that made you travel all this way.

Alexander slowly gets up from his chair and grabs his bag and walks towards the conference room that is next door to Wyatt's office and flicks on the light without saying a word. He sits on one end of the table and waits...After a few moments, Wyatt, Edra, Clio and Mary Lou walk in and take their seats.

Alexander: Wyatt, you've had a lot to say about my past and things I've done and where I came from. You've compared it to where you came from, where Fire and Moose came from and from where your girls there came from. It's good to know and understand history, wouldn't you say?

Wyatt: I would...

Alexander reaches into his bag and pulls out a broken piece of glass. Edra & Clio look apprehensive for a moment but Wyatt motions for them to stay still for the time being...

Alexander: This is the piece of glass I used to carve my initials into Moosehead Jack.

Wyatt: A trophy?

Alexander: Maybe.

Alex reaches back into the bag and pulls out a business card.

This is the business card of my friend in the Miami PD who helped me keep my name clean.

Edra: What's he mean?

Wyatt: Alex has had some transgressions...

Alexander: Fuck transgressions. I should be in jail for life, but being a Darling has it's perks except this card here, has nothing to do with being a Darling. It has to do with being Alexander.

Clio: What's the difference?

Alexander: The difference is I was born one and became the other. Let me continue.

He reaches back into the bag and slowly pulls out a pristine scalpel. He plays with the scalpel for a few moments and seems to be remembering...

Wyatt: Is that...

Alexander: This is the same scalpel I used to carve the woman who would become my wife.

A look of horror passes over Clio, Edra, and Mary Lou's face.

And I did this during a period when I was the face of the OOWF. The hero who had defeated Poe. The man who stood against The Five week-in and week-out. The man who took a beating week after week after week. From my mentor. From two of the biggest names in this company. From my most hated enemy. And from my closest friend in the world. I took a beating and I kept fighting. I fought the good fight until Moose and Fire decided that attacking me wasn't enough. They went after my sisters. They attacked Alexis and they attacked Samantha. For no reason other than the fact they they're my sisters.

Edra: Dad, is that all true?

Wyatt just nods...

Clio: After all that how could you forgive her...

Alexander: I know she's gonna see this, so here's my little confession...I don't think I forgave her until I thought I lost her.

Wyatt: But that was after you two...

Alexander: It was and that's why you've been wrong about that from the start. I was beginning the forgiveness when the wedding happened, but it took me a long time just like it took her a long time to forgive me for my sins.

Mary Lou: So it wasn't a plan...

Alexander: People may never believe that, but no. It just happened and the truth is I'm glad it did now, but when it happened, neither of us wanted it. We weren't in that place, but facts are facts and we can't change the past.

Wyatt: I know that...

Alexander: Yet you continue to live in the past Wyatt. You bring up my history. You bring up Fire's. You use those facts to warp the minds of those two young girls next to you.

Clio: He does not.

Edra: He's our father. Our blood.

Alex smirks almost as if he was waiting for that word and he quickly twirls the scalpel and makes a slice across his forearm...

Clio & Edra: EEEEEEEEEEE!

Alex watches the blood drip onto the table and slowly start to puddle...

Wyatt: What the hell are you doing?

Alexander: It's just blood.

Alex takes a towel out of his bag and quickly wipes the blood off the table and then tapes a bandage across the cut.

Blood. It's a liquid. Nothing more girls. It doesn't control who you are. Who you can become. Fire and Moose are blood. They're related by genes, but they're not family. Fire and I...we don't share the same blood, but we're closer than Moose and Fire have ever been. Alexis and I, we're blood and we're family. Having one in common doesn't mean both are there. I share blood with my brothers, but they're not my family.

Clio: What are you saying?

Alexander: Wyatt's your father and that's great. It's good to have a father in your lives, but it doesn't mean he has your best interests in mind. He has his own goals...

Wyatt: Shut your mouth. Do not try and delude these girls into your way of thinking.

Alexander: I would never do that Mr. Cox. I leave that to the would be messiahs and the martyrs. I happen to speak from the heart. From my experience with people exactly like you. People who seek to control those in their lives. Who use blood and family as a threat and a manipulation.

Clio: He wouldn't...

Alexander: I've said enough. I'll see my way out...

Alexander packs his belongings and starts to walk away...

Wyatt: You're not fooling anyone Alex. You can't change who you are...

Alex turns and looks over his shoulder and notices Clio and Mary Lou trying to calm down Wyatt when he locks eyes with Edra. She seems to be staring a hole into him and Alex stares back until he walks out of frame as we...

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

(Alexander Darling has just left the American Sunrise complex,..Clio and Mar Lou are still around Wyatt while Edra follows Alex until he's out of the building...and still keeps her stare...)

Wyatt: Damn fool doesn't get it. Wait until he has...Edra. EDRA!

(Edra doesn't look at Wyatt)

Edra: I get it.

Clio: Get what?

Edra: He's...confused.

Clio: Confused?

Edra: He thinks we're puppets. He thinks Dad controls us.

Clio: Oh, Edra..

Wyatt: She's right. He confuses control by others with control of self.

Mary Lou: Come again?

Wyatt: Apart from the twins here, what rules do we have for visitors?

Edra: This is neutral ground. No conflicts between wrestlers.

Clio: Respect each other. Respect that rule, or leave.

Wyatt: They choose to come here. When they get here, we extend them every courtesy. Apart form that one rule But, our training, our focus techniques. Controlling your own mind and body. That is what we stand for. Being able to focus yourselves is the most important thing. THAT is what they don't get. If they did...

Edra: He loves her. And there's part of him that still hasn't forgiven her. But it's...buried.

Clio: Edra! Don't do that!

Edra: What? He came in here threatening us. I shouldn't look?

Wyatt: She does have a point.

(Mary Lou looks confused.)

Wyatt: Later.

Edra: Dad, could we, well, could I...

Wyatt: Could you what, dear?

Edra: Could I look at some of those old Blood Feud videos of yours...and of Mr Moose?

Clio: Edra!

Edra: I think it's going to get there, particularly with Alex...Mr Darling.

Wyatt: It will. Don't worry, Clio. I survived, from a much tougher asshole than Alex.

Mary Lou: Ice Cream anyone?

Wyatt: I think that's a good idea. Let's go to the kitchen. The stench of elitist asshole in here is overwhelming.

(The whole family heads out of the room as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SITTING~! in medical getting stitched up, and is clearly annoyed. But not about what one would think after being beat up by her own brother.

FW: So, I SHOULDN'T have told Mai I was sorry for judging her based on her brother's behavior?

Dr.Sid: *sigh* No, Fire...let's go through it again.....it is not that you talked to Mai, and what you said to her was...well, for YOU it was fine.

FW: Then I don't get--

Dr.Sid: It was HOW you did it.

FW: I didn't yell, I--

Dr.Sid: No....What you said was fine. Overriding an alarm system, breaking into a house, stalking through it until you found Mai, getting her isolated and cornered, probing her soul...

FW: Ooooooooh......okay....yeah, that was probably not the best decision I made all day.

AD: *appearing in the doorway* Not when they will just let you in if they knock. What happened to your head?

FW: My brother.

Alexander's jaw sets as he begins to seethe.

AD: And...where is he.

FW: He's at the compound, and technically he only scratched my forehead. When he pushed me down--

AD: Scratched your forehead. Pushed you down.

FW: --my head hit a sharp rock and cut it. It's fine, just a couple of stitches, no concussion.

AD: Well, he can't stay there forever.

Alex turns to leave.

FW: Alex....leave it alone. I have to ignore him to get away from all this, and I can't do that if you fly off for revenge, all the -- OW!!

Medical: Quit squirming.....there...done. I'm going to bed.

Medical walks away muttering to himself about how he shouldn't need to do this on non-show nights.

Dr.Sid: Alex...what happened to your arm?

AD: Oh...it's nothing.

FW: Doc, give us a minute.

Dr. Freedman nods and then leaves. The Brave Little INC stays.

AD: So...you saw.

FW: I did. *she smiles a genuine smile at him, and he returns it.*

AD: Sorry you had to hear all that stuff .. like that...it kinda came up at the last conference Dr. Freedman and I had, and --

FW: It's fine....I have....well, I have to confess something, too. But I don't think it's quite as sappy as yours.

AD: Well, it is you, so that's not surprising.

FW: Do you remember....when I was....in Trinity.

AD: I would like to forget that, actually.

FW: Do you remember what I said to you when you came to get me?

AD: You said a lot of things...Can we not do this now?

FW: I remember exactly, because I rehearsed them. Eco was heating the brand, and I sat down in front of you and took off my mask, so you could see my eyes, and hopefully see that... I said "Please, PLEASE hear me, and understand. This is how it has to go down. This is the path I am on, and this is the only way to go. It's the only way for me to save the OOWF. It's the only way to save you. It's the only way to save myself. Do you understand? Please tell me you understand. You understand me better than anyone...it has to be you."

AD: Okay, and?

FW: And while the drugs were still in my system and I was still confused about a lot, they had worn off a lot.

AD: So?

FW: So....I knew....I knew what I was doing. Eco wasn't controlling me, at least as much as he thought he was. He had to think I was still completely under his control. I just had to go through with it so I could buy some time and....I was trying to let you know that I was sorry for what I was going to be doing and . . .

Fire stops, suddenly, as a lump rises in her throat. Alex is shocked at first, but then smiles and takes her hand.

AD: Of course, I got it. That's why I told you it would be okay. And it is.

FW: I'm...sorry...it's just....Moose hates me so much....

Fire appears, for the first time perhaps ever, to be genuinely upset about things.

AD: Shhhh...it's okay....it's in the past. We don't need to keep reliving it, even if Wyatt wants to bring up ancient history and even if Moose is...well, Moose. It's you and me and no one else matters. No one else can touch us. Okay?

Firewoman nods.

AD: Besides...did you see who we have against us next week?

FW: *sniff* No. Who?

AD: Your flavor of the month in what was that, May? June? Power and Glory.

FW: Okay...when my head stops hurting that will sparkle with me.

AD: Well, let's get back to the suite so it can start sparkling.

FADE

[BookerShark]

(Wyatt is in his suite in the American Sunrise complex in East Ely, Nevada. He has been trying to sleep but it evades him. Finally he sits up. Lying next to him is Mary Lou, who seems to be having the same problem. She sits up and nuzzles into his arm. He puts his arm around her and hugs her. )

Wyatt: What ever made you want to get into this mess with me in the first place?

Mary Lou: Because you never asked any questions. Because you trusted me. You took me in without reservation, without asking about...

Wyatt: The Washington Post, the St Petersburg Times, TMZ...

Mary Lou: See, you knew all that, and you still hired me.

Wyatt: Why shouldn't I trust you?

Mary Lou: Not the point. No one trusts anyone these days.

Wyatt: Look, you pissed off the wrong people in all those places and in the OOWF. You're like me in that regard. As to not trusting people, well, that's part of my problem.

Mary Lou: Come again?

Wyatt: I mean, look at us. My morals, my heart, tells me that I should trust Alex, trust Lisa. Sure, they've both done some really screwed up things, but maybe, just maybe, they're coming around.

Mary Lou: I feel a “but” coming on.

Wyatt: ...but my business side, the side of me that deals with the news, deals with wrestling...

Mary Lou: Leopards don't change their spots?

Wyatt: Look at how arrogantly Alex strode in here. He knew I wouldn't boot him. He knew our policy. Open door. But he didn't come here to learn, no. He came here to try to intimidate, to be his typical asshole self.

Mary Lou: I can't disagree with that...

Wyatt: I get that, I get that he loves her.

Mary Lou: How can you be sure?

Wyatt: You know that the twins, well, the fact that we're blood family explains a lot.

Mary Lou: Drop the riddles and be straight with me, please.

Wyatt: OK, you know how Beth and I were, for lack of a better word, empathic. How we knew what the other was thinking?

Mary Lou: I've heard you say that, yes. Wait. You mean, these two?

Wyatt: Every test, from IQ to ESP to Psychic ability. Off the scale.

Mary Lou: But how, why?

Wyatt: Like I said, I didn't totally understand the connection I had with Beth. No one, not even the experts, can explain how these two do it.

Mary Lou: Wow. I mean, color me skeptical, but still...

Wyatt: Give it time...anyway, God love Edra. We were all upset and you and Clio tried to calm me down, but Edra, man. She saw the opening and went for it.

(There's a tap on the door and Edra pops her head in...)

Edra: Am I interrupting?

Wyatt: Not at all, we were just talking about you.

Edra: Yeah, I thought I should come in.

Wyatt: So, tell me what you learned about Mr. Darling.

Edra: Well, he is madly, deeply in love with his wife. He loves Fire so much, he'll do anything.

Mary Lou: So far, that checks.

Edra: He despises you, and feels pity for us. He thinks you have us under some sort of spell.

Wyatt: That figures. He never had anything approaching a real family in his life.
Edra: He hates you, Mr Moose, Mr Folz, his father, and someone named Eric.

Wyatt: Eric? Hmmmm....anyway, go on.

Edra: That's pretty much it. The only thing is, he's got a few nagging doubts about Fire, but those are mostly buried.

Mary Lou: OK, if YOU won't ask her, I will.

Wyatt: Ask her what?

Mary Lou: Why did you ask about the Blood Feud videos?

Edra: Because that's where this is going. Before the summer's out, there's going to be a blood feud.

Wyatt: He's coming after us?

Edra: I don't know. But I want to be ready. I want to have..you know..be ready for battle.

Mary Lou: (gripping Wyatt's arm tightly again) What ARE we in for, Wyatt.

Wyatt: The war to end all OOWF Wars. And I'm afraid we're going to have a ringside seat.

(The three hug, Edra heads back to her room, and Mary Lou and Wyatt lay back down as we....)

FADE

[BookerShark]

~~~ We see the OOWF interview set, with a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist standing beside Comrade Sharkoff, holding the microphoe up to him but standing as far away as she can. ~~~

I warned all of you, Comrade Sharkoff will not be overlooked no more! This week, I face degenerate gambler and some guy who changes identities. I have not changed! I am still number one proud son of Mother Russia! I am coming for you DL William! I will be champions of all the Double O F Very soon! If you are not ducking me, then it is the fault of whoever put a woman in charge! I will not be ignored anymore! This week, I will show the Double O F what happens when I am ignored too long! Long Live the CCCP!

Sharkoff storms off, swinging his chain wildly. Chad Madison sneaks up behind the RNSFJ and puts his arms around her waist

Chad: You alright toots? Did he scare you?

RNSFJ: Yes! That man is insane.

Chad: He is, but he does have a point about being overlooked. That's something Zane and I know all about. We've been overlooked a lot here lately.

RNSFJ: How so?

~~~ Chad holds up 3 fingers, Dudley Boys Style ~~~

Chad: Three. We're three wins away from a milestone NOBODY thought was possible 5 years ago when we came to the OOWF. We slugged through programs with SYB, Apocalyptic Existance, Kenji, Knife, Voltage, Ryan Hardcore and others who became footnotes in history. We were ignored and overlooked a number of times. When we finally won the Tag Team Championships, they stripped them from us because of a stupid No Contest finish.

Countless teams got pushes ahead of us. We've been pushed to the bottom of the card a number of times, only to work our way back to the top each and every time. We've been left for dead and glossed over as yesterday's news.

And yet we persevered. First it was "We got the push because of Davin & Run DLP/DEA", then it was "We got the push because there weren't any other teams left." and now it's "We get the push just for nostalgia and to pop the crowd"

We've heard it all, time and time again. And we've proved the nay-sayers wrong, time and time again. So yeah, Texpress knows what it is like to be overlooked. Even today, the story isn't our chase for 100, it's the Jerry Springer Show featuring the big "Who is the twin's father?" reveal. Or it's the collapse of the New Guard. Or it's Quinn drama... Again.

So this week, we once again come in under the radar. I won't guarantee a victory, there are too many outside factors in a match like that, but I will guarantee that Chad Madison and Zane Myers will go out there and put on one HELL of a show and leave no doubt who the best tag team in the world today is.

So three more wins. Three more wins to immortality. Three more wins to 100

~~~ Chad kisses the RNSFJ on the cheek and we Fade ~~~

[BookerShark]

(We open in the training room of the American Sunrise Complex. Ali and the twins arrived, as Wyatt and Mary Lou finish a conversation.)

Wyatt: ...so if we approach the story from that angle without...

Mary Lou: Makes sense, Good Morning!

(Hugs all the way around)

Wyatt: Just got the report from Medical. We have some interesting options for this week's match.

Edra: Well, we already know with Firewoman...

Clio: Ribs that she's never let totally heal...

Wyatt: Ah, but we were so busy dealing with the alarm yesterday, we missed this.

(Wyatt shows the Moose/Fire confrontation from yesterday via OOWF-TV On Demand)

Ali: Oooooo...head trauma.

Wyatt: And a fresh laceration. And fresh trauma to those unhealed ribs. Time for a little payback for Stan.

Edra: Strikes to the head, Enziguri, Shining Wizard...

Ali: On the list to work on.

Wyatt: Now Alex, on the other hand, gave us a remarkable opening. Or should I say, he gave it to himself.

Clio: The scalpel?

Wyatt: Ali, look at this. The idiot came here, and did this to himself with the same scalpel he carved up Fire with..

(Wyatt shows the relevant portion of yesterday's confrontation with Alexander Darling. Clio cringes, but Edra..smiles...)

Edra: Hello Fujiwara Arm Bar! Plus just working the arm will....get it throbbing....

Clio: You sound like you want to hurt him.

Edra: He busted in here unannounced. At least the other let us know...

Clio: But just inflicting pain...

Edra: (Takes Clio's head in her hands) He wants to hurt our father, to put him on the shelf. Permanently.

(A long, uncomfortable silence fills the room)

Edra: I'm sorry. It's just....

Clio: I...

Wyatt: Alex and Fire don't like me much at all. They want me to go away. That's not happening.

Edra: They'll have to get through me first.

Clio: And me.

Wyatt: Clio, this is going to get ugly. I know you still have...problems with what happened in Lawrence. You may have to bring all that back up again.

Clio: Protecting you. You've kept us safe all these years. Gave everything up for us. It's the least we can do.

Wyatt: I understand. Plus they're both in...unstable emotional states after their encounters this weekend. That can be good...and bad...stay sharp, get in and out, and stay with each other at all times.

Edra: Got it.

Clio: We've been practicing.

(Wyatt looks at Clio who giggles, he frowns, looks at Mary Lou, then looks back at Clio, crossing his arms disapprovingly.)

Clio: What? I didn't say anything? (Giggles)

Wyatt: Respect, young lady.

Clio: Yes, dad.

Wyatt: Oh, one more thing. Here.

(Wyatt reaches under the table and gives the girls matching red elbow and knee pads)

Wyatt: These will match your ring gear for this week.

Clio: but we never...

Edra: The lacerations?

Wyatt: To paraphrase Mr Granville from the original, the best The Longest Yard, this hold is referred to as incidental contact after the ball's blown dead.

Clio: Huh?

(Edra puts on an elbow pad and makes a grinding motion against the table with it.)

Clio: Oh. OH! Makes sense.

Wyatt: OK, you two go warm up. Ali, a word.

(The twins go to the ring as Ali hangs back)

Wyatt: This is going to get bowling shoe ugly. Get them ready for some pain. Got it?

Ali: They're trying to Jack Swagger them, aren't they?

Wyatt: Wouldn't surprise me. But they're going to put some hurt on them if they do.

Ali: I believe it. Anything special they need to learn?

Wyatt: Pain. Just pain.

Ali: Got it. And thanks.

Wyatt: For what?

Ali: For trusting me with them. I won't let you two down.

Wyatt: Thanks.

(Ali leaves and Wyatt starts laughing)

Mary Lou: What's so funny?

Wyatt: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all... hot mama...

(Mary Lou smacks Wyatt on the arm and gives him a kiss as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

(It's just before dinnertime Saturday at the American Sunrise complex. Edra and Clio are in the shower and Wyatt is waiting to get a training report from Ali.)

Wyatt: MARY LOU! INTERVIEW TIME!

Mary Lou: Yes dear.

(Mary Lou give Wyatt a kiss as the interview banner drops down behind them)

Mary Lou: With me now is the manager of Power and Glory and the host of nationally syndicated American Sunrise, Wyatt Cox.

Wyatt: First, I would be remiss if I didn't have a few words for Chad. Chad, despite the fact that you're an arrogant, sexist, skirt chasing redneck, I respect you as a wrestler. Please pass along to your partner Jeremy, er, Zane, and your friends Phantos and Lucios my thanks for giving the girls an outstanding wrestling clinic. Your friends gave them two things: Their first singles matches...and their first losses. But we learn more from defeats than from victories, and Power and Glory will persevere.

Wyatt: Second, Chad, you're right. Despite Texpress being one of the most decorated tag teams in history, you are getting short shrift. So here's what I want to promise you. IF Power and Glory pull off the miracle Wednesday night, and IF Texpress doesn't succeed in the number one contenders match up on Wednesday, once the obligatory rematch and the number one contenders are handled, I want YOU to be next in line. If it can be rolled up faster, so much the better. You're coming up on victory number 100. Congratulations. Just don't expect one of those three victory to be over Power and Glory.

Wyatt: And that brings us to this week. This has to be some kind of record. In just their seventh match in professional wrestling, not just the OOWF, Power and Glory have been given their first opportunitity at the Tag Team Title. I would like to be optimistic and think that General Manager Selena has been impressed with their performance and conduct both inside and outside the squared circle that she thinks them worthy of the chance of a lifetime.

Wyatt: I would like to THINK that.

Wyatt: The truth of the matter is that this organization has already produced and released a slanderous piece of tripe about the Cox and Neal families using video footage they had no right to use. We fixed that. So since they lost their cash cow, could the OOWF board be trying to cut their losses by washing out the new girls early?

Wyatt: Whatever the motivation, Wednesday night, Power and Glory challenge Phoenix Rising for the OOWF Tag Team Championships. This is another team that has come a long way. I remember just a few short weeks ago the Darlings lost a bout to ….who was that again...Oh yeah, Attitude Adjuster and Honcho Williams...powerful team.

Wyatt: Point being, you improved, you got your act together, and here you are, champs. Fire, I wish you the best of luck. Alex, I have a special wish for you.

Wyatt: You see, you and Fire both think I'm some kind of monster. You think I'm a control freak. You think I'm some cult-like figure. In fact, I'm something that neither of you have any experience with.

Wyatt: I'm a father.

Wyatt: Oh, what's that, you both had fathers, and they weren't like WYATT? OF COURSE NOT! Fire's parents lost it after her brother Patrick died. Alcohol and drugs and peddling your daughter to sexual devients...sure, that's a wonderful childhood, and a perfect example of parenting. And Alex, refresh my memory. Didn't your father try to actually buy off Fire to get her to divorce you? Ah, a supportive father's love. Manipulative bullshit. I know you hate your father just as much as you hate me! Ask the twins who always got dinner, who always got new clothes, who always got what they needed when things were tough. Edra, Clio, Marty, they were taken care of. I sold everything, everything, had peanut butter and crackers while I lived in a pop up camper in Florida to build a brand new fucking career. I sacrificed for my family. What did your father ever sacrifice for you, Alex? You wanna minimize it, Alex, but the truth is out there....and the truth is this. You and Fire are both ashamed of your roots. Ashamed of your families. Fire, I feel so sorry for you. No one should have to suffer the way you and Moose have suffered. Alex, I feel nothing but contempt for you. And I feel sorry for your beloved wife. Because in the final analysis, Fire can overcome her demons and be a good wife and mother. I'm not so confident about the prize asshole of Miami...

Wyatt: Wednesday night, Midweek Mayhem, 8pm Eastern Time, live from Los Angeles, California, two lonely souls, abandoned by their fathers and mothers, face a team with a strong father and a beloved but departed mother. At stake, one of the most prestigious titles in the OOWF. Our odds are slim, but with our strong family bonds, and our faith in God, I pray that we persevere.

Mary Lou: Power and Glory get their first title shot against Tag Team Champs Phoenix Rising Wednesday night, Midweek Mayhem, LIVE.

(Mary Lou pauses for the promo to finish, then turns and puts her arms around Wyatt.)

Mary Lou: You are incredible. I love you so much.

Wyatt: I love you too.

Their reverie is disrupted by Ali.)

Ali: Hey, you two, get a room.

Wyatt: Already got one. So how did it go.

Ali: So far, Edra's taking to this new training like a duck to water.

Wyatt: Turning it up, is she?

Ali: One dislocated elbow from not releasing the Fujiwari Arm Bar. One dislocated shoulder from trying a Kimura that Folz showed her, and a concussion from an Enziguri.

Wyatt: Sorry.

Ali: No, she's got the holds down, the moves. No one will tap fast enough and pop. She's ready.

Wyatt: And Clio?

Ali: That's another story. She's good, but she's going through the motions. The only spark she had all day is one of the workers asked her who her match was this week. She said Phoenix Rising, and he referred to them as Alexander Douchebag and Firetwat.

Wyatt: Uh-oh.

Ali: She lit into him and he called Fire a cheap whore. One nutshot and a package piledriver later, he was taken out for the day.

Wyatt: Why am I not surprised. So Edra's ready, and Clio?

Ali: You better talk to her. Something's wrong.

Wyatt: OK, Ali, thanks for coming up.

Ali: Anytime.

(Wyatt stands up and gives Ali a warm embrace and she leaves with Mary Lou. A few moments later Edra and Clio come into the room)

Wyatt: Well, are you two ready for Alex and Fire.

Edra: Yes

Clio: ....

Wyatt: Edra, Ali says you were hard on the workers today.

Edra: I didn't mean to be. I just want to be ready for our match.

Wyatt: Good work. They know what they're in for when they come here. Clio, are you OK?

Clio: ....

Wyatt: Come on, it's me. What's going on.

Clio: I'm scared.

Wyatt: Scared? You're a Neal. What can they do to you?

Clio: You don't get it. I'm not scared what they can do to me. I'm afraid of what I will do to them.

Wyatt: Come again?

Edra: She's having flashbacks again.

Clio: I'm just...I don't want to have to have someone stop me if I go too far.

Wyatt: That was a long time ago.

Edra: Dad, you don't understand...

Clio: I Liked hurting him... I wanted him to pay for all the pain he caused, and the more he screamed, the happier I became. By the time Edra got there to stop me I was … I don't know...

Edra: You were hysterical, gleeful, you were happy you were killing him.

Clio: I didn't want to kill him. I wanted him to feel the pain of every woman he'd done that to.

Wyatt: Clio, listen...

Clio: I wanted him to hurt worse than he ever felt in his life, just like Uncle Ned did to you...

(The mention of that night struck Wyatt like a slap to the face.)

Wyatt: Clio, I know this all...hurts. But that is what we have to be able to do. Think back, what did Fire do after we congratulated her on her Grand Slam?

Clio: She told us to get lost.

Wyatt: And what did she do when you apologized for hitting Alex?

Clio: She...she hit me. She said I wasn't sincere.

Wyatt: And what would she know about sincerity.

Clio: But she, I, oh, dad, I don't...

Wyatt: Look, that ship has sailed. Fire can't ever accept you for who you are. Because of me. Because of Alex. She loves him. You two were just convenient sex objects for the night.

Clio: But...I thought...

Wyatt: She played with you. Now she's gotten into your head. Fire's won.

Clio: NO! She can't do that to me...

Wyatt: She already has. Look at how you're behaving, how emotional you're getting just thinking about her.

Edra: I think dad's right. I think she just used us, just like Steven tried to....

Clio: NO! She...

Edra: At least with Steven, you stopped him. We need to stop Fire...and Alex.

Clio: I...don't know if I can. And if I start, I don't know if I can stop.

Edra: Don't worry, you won't be alone this time. Dad and I will be there.

Clio: I'm sorry.

Wyatt: You know what I think...I think I need to get Stan and Mai and let's all go to Margaritas.

Edra: Your favorite, Free Pistachio Ice Cream...

Clio: Fried Ice Cream?

Edra: Of course. (Edra hugs Clio)

Wyatt: You two go get Stan and Mai, I'll find Mary Lou, and we'll get out early to beat the crowds.

(The twins set out in search of their friends, while Wyatt makes a call.)

Wyatt: Hello. Clio's skittish, afraid she can't stop if she starts. Just be ready. Whether we win or lose, I don't want the Darlings getting away without a serious fight. Thanks.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Clio and Edna find Stan in the hallway of the American Sunrise Complex.

Clio: Stan! We're going out for ice cream!

Edna: Is Mai around?

Stan: She said she'd be back in about an hour...text her and let her know where we're going, I'm sure she'll catch up.

Elsewhere...Firewoman walks out of her suite, stretching after some mid-day fun. Suddenly, Mai runs down the hallway and up to Firewoman.

Fire: Mai!

Mai spins around so that her back is facing Fire, crosses her arms and falls backwards. Fire catches her as she falls.

Mai: Yay trust falls!

Fire: Did you...did you just find my suite so that you could do a trust fall?

Mai: No! That would be crazy.

Fire: Mmm-hmm.

Mai: I came to give you a bracelet I made!

Mai takes out a tiny little Silly Band like bracelet with a metal charm labeled "Trust" on it.



Mai slips it on Fire's wrist, as Alexander comes out shirtless.

Alexander: Is someone else proposing to you, dear?

Mai: It says "Trust!"

Fire: I see that.

Mai: That way, whenever you're sad, you can look down at your wrist and remember that you trust me!

Fire: ...

Alex: ...

Mai's phone buzzes. She opens it up.

Mai: Whoa! I'm missing fried ice cream! I'll catch you both later! Enjoy your sacrament of conjugal relations!

Mai skips off down the hallway.

FADE

[BookerShark]

(Wyatt, Mary Lou, the twins, and Stan and Mai are at Ely's Yelland Field getting ready to fly in to Los Angeles for Midweek Mayhem. Wyatt's having a last minute conversation with their pilot Mike.)

Wyatt: From her we're flying into Bob Hope, then limo to Staples Center.

Mike: We've got a clearance to land if we can get in the air in the next five minutes, otherwise...it's not pretty.

Wyatt: If we miss that window, where do we go?

Mike: Compton/Woodley.

Wyatt: (Loudly) Everyone on board NOW!

Mary Lou: Luggage is all on board, and almost everyone's boarded and strapped in.

Wyatt: Who's not?

Mary Lou: Us. (She puts her arms around Wyatt's neck) Still in a hurry?

Wyatt: If we don't get in the air now, we land in Compton.

Mary Lou: Oh, then this can wait...(Gives Wyatt a quick kiss)...There's more where that came from...

Wyatt: No doubt.

(Wyatt and Mary Lou join the crew on board their Gulfstream Turboprop and we fade to commercial. When we return Wyatt and Mary Lou are on the couch, while Mai and Stan are in their custom seat reading the Bible, and Edra and Clio are reading ALIVE and First For Women.)

Wyatt: So if we take that approach, it's still a strong story, and no one can get upset if we're ten degrees off either way.

Mary Lou: Why did I never notice this stuff before?

Wyatt: Because you haven't been doing this for twenty years. They tell me I know how to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they're not only NOT offended, but they actually look forward to the trip.

Stan: You shouldn't be so flippant about Hell, Wyatt. The Devil isn't someone to screw around with.

Wyatt: I didn't bring up Mai's brother at all.

Mai: But you didn't..oh, you were making a joke. I get it.

Stan: Nothing gets past you, does it Mai.

Mai: Huh?

Edra: So why are we going in so early, dad?

Wyatt: Well, it's easier for other characters to interact if we're actually in LA, and...

(A beverage tray sails by Wyatt's head, and Kayfabe, dressed in a Stewardess uniform, shakes her finger at Wyatt.)

Wyatt: ...and I wanted to have a chance for us to sit down with Selena to get some things straight.

Mary Lou: About the matches the girls get?

Wyatt: Well, that, and to explain to her the rules about Ely.

Mary Lou: So everyone understands?

Wyatt: Yes, no altercations, no fights. It was nice having Matt and Jaime there, but he came very close...

Mary Lou: Our House, Our Rules. (Mary Lou snuggles into Wyatt's arm and he smiles.)

Clio: Jeez, you two, get a room.

Stan: You two really should get married.

Mai: Yes, remember December only has 31 days.

(Everyone turns and looks at Mai)

Stan: I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why does that matter.

Mai: Well, Juni told me that this was a May – December romance, and he said they better get married before his expiration date hits.

(Edra, Clio, and Stan laugh heartily, Wyatt chuckles, and Mary Lou blushes profusely)

Wyatt: (Turning to Mai) If we get married, do we get matching bracelets, too?

Mai: Oh, now you spoiled the surprise.

Stan: “Sacrament of conjugal relations?”

Mai: Uh-huh. So when's the wedding?

Wyatt: We're thinking, probably, two weeks from this Saturday in Las Vegas.

Stan: (smirking)A Vegas wedding? Really?

Wyatt: Hey, there are some really nice places there to get married.

Mai: Will you get married by Elvis? Or is he still dead.

Mary Lou: No, Elvis is definitely out. Though we thought about a Ferengi Wedding, but I think we're down to the Little Church of the West and the Excalibur's Medieval Wedding.

Stan: The Medieval Wedding would be good for Wyatt to feel like he was reliving his youth that way.

Wyatt: So Stan, how's your head?

Stan: Better, why?

Wyatt: Just wanted to see if you were ready for another Enziguri.

Stan: Could you get your leg up that high?

Mary Lou: You'd be surprised...

Wyatt: I mean, are you two ready for Wednesday night.

Stan: As much as you can be. Four ways can be tricky.

Edra: I know, there was this time at school...

Wyatt: NOT THAT, Edra.

Edra: What? I was talking about Track.

Wyatt: Oh...anyway, four-ways require more focus, so be careful.

Mai: Of what.

Wyatt: Exactly. Ladies, are you ready?

Edra: Ready as we'll ever be.

Clio: I'm still worried, though.

Edra: Everything will be fine. Dad and I will be here in case something goes wrong.

Wyatt: And Stan and Mail will be here. Nothing can go wrong.

Mai: Oh, we have to turn back.

Mary Lou: Turn Back? Why?

Mai: We forgot to ask God to bless our flight. We have to do that before we take off.

Wyatt: Mai, if we turn back now, we won't be able to land in Burbank. We'll have to land in...Compton.

Mai: Compton?

Stan: Compton.

Mai: Everyone bow your heads. Heavenly Father, bless our flight, our pilot, and our friends, and I'm sorry I forgot before the flight, but we don't want to land in Compton. Even you're not safe there. Amen.

(Stan covers his face as the others smile and we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

Attitude Adjuster is still trying to work with LD Williams and Stank to get a decent promo for their OOWF Heavyweight Championship title match in Los Angeles, CA (cheap pop!).

Stank: What do you mean “get a decent promo”? I thought that last one was pretty good.

LDW: Yeah! What he said!

AA: Are you guys arguing with the Voice Over Guy?

Stank: He does have us there.

AA: So let’s do another take. I thought of another idea. Here, take these scripts and let’s go from the top.

LDW (perusing the script): You have to be kidding me.

AA: Just try it, OK?

LDW: But there’s no way Stank will be even remotely upset about this.

AA: It worked for the WWE, it can work for us.

Stank: Did he really just use that as validity for an angle?

AA: Take Two!

Stank: I’m going to hit you so hard, you’ll be hit very hard!

LDW: Yeah, well I know a dark secret about you. And now I’m going to tell the world!

Stank: What dark secret is that?

LDW: You’re an alcoholic! And so was your tag team partner!

Stank (looking at AA): Really? I mean, it’s true. How many years did our promos revolve around drinking at the Destroyatorium? And besides, this even sucked when the WWE did it.

AA: Just keep going. It gets better.

Stank (reading from the script): I’m not an alcoholic! And to prove it, I dug up your mother’s coffin and drug it around downtown Los Angeles last night! (throwing down the script) AA, LD’s Momma is alive! And hates you! What are you thinking?

AA: I’m working toward an even bigger match. We can have a Momma’s Coffin on a Pole Match at the next Pay Per View.

LDW: What is your problem?! These are ridiculous!

AA: OK, OK, you’re right. I’m stressed. Johnny and FF Capslock have been on my case about not giving 100 percent to SIXTH YEAR SENIORS at FLAWEDCAST.NET (cheap pop!) and I’m trying to show them that I can do both.

Stank: You certainly have the podcast promotion part down.

LDW: But your wrestling promos suck right now. Not only are you screwing up our main event match, but I bet you don’t even know who you’re wrestling this week.

AA: Probably just some jabronie who deserves to be overlooked.

Comrade Sharkoff (watching OOWF-TV in a nearby room): That it! It one thing to be overlooked, but another to be intentional overlooked! Attitude Double A, I am Number One proud son of Mother Russia! You will not overlook me! Long Live the CCCP!

LDW: I think you just pissed off Comrade Sharkoff.

AA: Who?

Stank: Can we just make a decent promo?

AA: Either of you have a dead girlfriend the other can have sex with?

[BookerShark]

Standing outside the Destroyarium in the early hours of the morning.

"I promised, it was only just beginning"

The place is empty. He barges through the doors and begins smashing chairs and overturning tables. He yanks the dartboard off the wall and tosses it through a pictureframe across the room. behind the bar, he grabs the tire iron and smashes the door of the coolers and knocks the spouts off the beer taps. He grabs a beer keg and hurls it into the counter, splintering the wood. As he turns to leave, the barmaids appear in the doorway, mouths wide open. Ricky starts to push past them, and one of the two tries to stand up to him. Ricky one arm pushes her into the wall, where she drops the the floor.

"Tell the Mute and his little lapdog I know there will be paybacks. I'm waiting for them. "

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad & Zane are sitting in catering enjoying a Number 9 Steak & Cheese & a couple of ice cold Aquafinas. A RNSFJ rushes up to them ~~~

RNSFJ: Chad, You were offered a title shot if Power & Glory win this week, any comment?

Zane: I'm eating, do we really need to do this?

Chad: Not like We didn't just issue a friendly challenge that went unanswered

Zane: I hate that you interviewers think everyone needs to respond to every little thing said.

Chad: And besides... when it comes to Championship Opportunities, Offering them up is meaningless. Selena and the Board dictate that kind of crap. You want to see how well Power & Glory Measure Up? Get her to make the match. We don't duck anyone.

Zane: Now excuse us. important discussions going on here

~~~ Fade ~~~

[BookerShark]

Time passes, and we see Dynamite Danny Taylor and El Lobo Sangriento picking up the smashed pieces of the bar. A banged up Victor Deniro sits at a table as Spencer helps clean up some of the wounds he received from RSE. Ashley sits nearby petting Shotglass.

Spencer: Man, he got you good.

DVD: Well, I was carrying a tray of coffee, so really I got off lightly.

Ashley: A whole tray? You are lucky half the roster didn't attack you just on principle.

The girls and Vic chuckle at this.

DVD: You okay Ash, he shoved you pretty hard.

Ashley: Yeah, I'm fine, we've seen worse.

DVD: True. Still sucks the bar got trashed......again.

Spencer: I keep saying we need a stronger lock on the door.

Ashley: So Ricky seems to be expecting some serious payback.

DVD: and he will get it, but not from some blindside attack, or childish tantrum throwing his stuff around. Me and Danny talked about this, we are tired of always being the targets of random violence, so we focus exclusively on one thing, winning titles.

The girls smile at this. Lobo and Danny stop cleaning up and coming over to listen to Vic.

DVD: Ricky wants to focus on pain, let him. Rabbit Mask wants to concern himself with dropping people on their heads, more power to him. Drink and Destroy? We focus on winning Championships. This week, you boys take out whatever "retribution" Ricky thinks is coming out on him in the ring. Then Danny works his way towards getting the IC title back, and I believe our bloody wolf has his eyes set on the big prize no.

Both Danny and Lobo smile large at this.

DVD: Hell, maybe D&D will throw it's hat back into the tag title mix at one point. The Five, Trinity, BKK, the New Guard, they have all come and gone, but we remain. We don't scare, and we don't intimidate. We wrestle our asses off, and we win titles. The fuse has been lit.

Danny mouths the word Boom, as we

FADE

[BookerShark]

<we cut to downtown Los Angeles where Bill and Justin are riding Drunkey and Drunkette through the streets. Justin has a map, Bill has a quart of Pine Cone Party Likker and Happy Bubble Bat>

JS: And over there, that is the West Bonaventure Hotel…..

<They pass and Bill flexes a little in the mirrored windows>

ABFD: Hell yeah! Lookit them guns! UNNHHHHH

<slight time shift, they are still riding>

JS: This is the Central Los Angeles Library…….

<slight time shift, Bill is seen with glasses perched on his nose, reading a book while riding>

ABFD: “In Flanders fields the poppies blow, Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky, The larks, still bravely singing, fly, Scarce heard amid the guns below.”

….

ABFD: NOW WHAT IS THAT MESS SUPPOSED TO BE?

JS: That’s poetry, from World War I

ABFD: That sounds like something that ol boy Mooseheaded Jack would like

JS: Probably

<Bill tosses the book over his shoulder>

ABFD: I got a poem for ya……”There once was an ol boy from Nantucket………”

JS: aaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd over there is the Walt Disney Concert Hall……

<slight time shift, and we continue on, Bill is now wearing Mickey Mouse ears>

ABFD: Can you believe that mess? Request ONE song and you get asked to leave!

JS: I doubt the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra knows “Okie From Muskogee”

ABFD: WELL THEY DAMN WELL OUGHT TO!

JS: And over here is Chavez Ravine, home to the Los Angeles Dodgers

<time shift and we continue on, Bill is still wearing the Mickey Mouse ears, and is now eating a Dodger Dog>

JS: One more place we are not allowed back to……

ABFD: That ol boy on third base cut his eyes at me

JS: He was giving the steal sign

ABFD: HELL NAW! You know how they is out chere, you turn your back and BAM! You is one of them!

JS: One of them……never mind. Over here is the Los Angeles Zoo……you know what, let’s just ride on past that

<they continue to ride…….>

JS: This is Koreatown…..

<time shift and Bill is washing down some Korean buttered squid with Pine Cone Party Likker>

JS: And this is Little Tokyo…..

<time shift and Bill is now eating some Tako Yaki (Octopus Balls) with Pine Cone Party Likker, he lets out a mighty belch and Drunkey stops and looks at him, before they continue on>

JS: And this is Chinatown

ABFD: They’s big trouble here

<Justin just looks at Bill>

ABFD: What? That was funnier than hell son!

JS: This here is Grauman’s Chinese Theater

<time shift, and Justin and Bill are back on Drunkette and Drunkey, Bill is eating a bucket of popcorn, wearing a ninja head mask, still with the Mickey Mouse ears>

JS: This is the Hollywood Walk of Fame, they just put Slash’s star down…..

ABFD: The guy from Demolition?

JS: That was Smash

ABFD: The big ol feller that played the hoops and called himself the Big Aristotle?

JS: That was Shaq

ABFD: When you put the shiny shiny stuff on a table you done built yourself to make it shiny, instead of putting it in the Pine Cone Party Likker?

JS: That is shellac……which isn’t even a person. This is the guy that played in Guns N’Roses

ABFD: Uhhhh

JS: Sweet Child O’Mine?

ABFD: Uhhhh

JS: Welcome to the Jungle?

ABFD: Uhhhhh

JS: Paradise City?

ABFD: Uhhhhh

JS: Patience?

ABFD: WAIT! Is that the song with the whistling and whatnot? And that ol’ boy Axl doing that snake man dance? Them ol boys?

JS: Yes, them

ABFD: Outdamnstandener than hell! Uhh……wherefore we at?

<Justin looks at his map, then turns it upside down. We see that the neighborhood is run down and the windows are barred. People eye them suspiciously>

JS: I think we are in Compton

ABFD: Straight outta Compton crazy muthafu…….

Drunkey: EEEEEEEEE-YA

ABFD: Damn son, always gotta be a criticizin, don’tcha

<Just then, a car rolls up, a fancy Rolls Royce with the interior tricked out. The back window rolls down and a man with dark shades and braids looks out, and takes a long hit off a joint>

Man: I bizzle you gizzle arizzle lost

ABFD: Huh?

JS: Wizzle got turnizzle around, wizzle wizzle rizzle through LA doizzle somizzle sizzle sizzle

Man: Thizzle is undizzle it is eizzle to gizzle turnizzle around down hizzle but you boys could bizzle in somizzle troublizzle if you stizzle around hizzle it mizzle bizzle bizzle if you hizzle bizzle

JS: Probizzle so, could you gizzle us dizzle to gizzle bizzle to LA?

Man: Surizzle thizzle my mizzle just hizzle a lizzle at thizzle nizzle lizzle go about two blocks to Crizzle and tizzle anothizzle lizzle stizzle strizzle and you wizzle bizzle bizzle in Los in no tizzle

JS: Thizzle frizzle

Man: Anytizzle

<The car rolls off and they keep riding, Bill’s mouth is hanging open>

ABFD: I gotta lay off the Pine Cone Party Likker, what in the HELL was you sayin?

<before he can answer, a Cripps gang member shows up on the corner and starts throwing some gang signs. Not to be outdone, a Bloods gang member shows up on the opposite corner throwing his own gang signs>

JS: Well this is not good

ABFD: What them ol boys doin? They dancing all fancy like?

JS: No, lemme handle this

<Justin rides up and talks to both of them while Bill sits on Drunkey sipping some PCPL and holding Happy Bubble Bat a little tighter. Members of both gangs are gathering on opposite sides of the street>

ABFD: Oh HELL no! Lookitchere, what you ol boys drinkin?

<various answers fly>

ABFD: That all? Son, you boys is LIGHTWEIGHTS! JUSTIN! I has me an idea!

<Justin and Bill huddle, they break and Justin goes up to the head guy from both sides and asks to borrow five bucks. They look at the crazy guy with the Mohawk suspiciously, but they give it to him. Time passes and we have a table set up in the middle of the street with several jars of freshly made PCPL on it>

ABFD: Ok, here’s the rules……you ol boys have to drink onna these ( we see glasses of PCPL) while you boys drinkify that, I’m a gonna drinkify this chere bottle (a full mason jar) whoever is done left standin, wins, you boys ready?

<they all nod and raise their glasses. Time passes and we see Justin and Bill riding out of Compton, with the city burning behind them, and people passed out all over the place>

ABFD: Can you believe that mess? I thought them ol boys could hold they likker? Hell I had TWO jars of Party Likker, them ol boys could hardly finish ONE!

JS: <shaking his head> Another place we are not allowed to come back to

ABFD:

Ridin traight outta Compton, Crazy ol’ boy from Dawsonville
From the OO Wrestling Federation
When they’s a drink off, them boys gets called off
Pour me another one Justin, them ol boys getting hauled off
PCPL in my ice tea, ridin shotgun on drunkey
The Man is gonna hafta come and get me
Drunk as hell, that’s how I’m goin out
Beat them ol boys drinkin nothing but Guiness stout
Get us in the ring, you wanna rumble
Beat em down, beat em down like the bottom of a fumble
Goin off on a rassler like that
Bill and Justin just wanna scrap
Party Likker goin down smooth
Double team you, pin you with a rasslin move
Roll in the ring, gonna keep on fightin
Dance of Death with a bottle of White Lightnin’
Them other tag teams is the fool
One day ol’ Justin and Bill is gonna rule
Think you can go toe to toe with us? No, maybe
We gonna win, beat em down, all of em daily
Yo weekly, monthly and yearly
Until Awesome Bill can see the ring clearly
That you is down after the Doughawk 1,2,3
Tag teams can’t mess us, see
So when Bill and Justin is in the ring good luck
Cuz Justin and Bill is crazy as ffffffff
We ride out, son there ain’t no stopping
Cause Justin and Bill is ridin straight outta Compton!

<Now it is Justin’s turn to stare at Bill with his jaw dropped>

JS: I…….I……..I got no words.

ABFD: I do……..outdamnstandener than hell

<fade>

[BookerShark]

(The INC approaches the dressing rooms of Power and Glory. On the door is a sign reading: Closed Training – Do Not Disturb. The INC bravely opens the door and is quickly on the floor. We hear Edra and Clio.)

Edra: [/i]Can't you read?

Clio: [/i]DO! NOT! DISTURB!

(The Ninjacam is booted sharply by the twins and goes to static as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

<Moose walks out onto the dock at the Staples Center and lights up a cigar. He puffs it a few times, then notices Clio standing there after her workout session. She is just standing there in the dark staring off into space, she doesn’t even seem to notice Moose. Moose looks at her for a minute>

MHJ: Conflicted, aren’t you?

<Clio doesn’t say a thing>

MHJ: I saw what you did to the man in Kansas. He deserved it.

Clio: <never looking at Moose> Who are we to say who deserves it?

<Moose ponders this for a moment>

MHJ: If you saw what you considered a good person, and this person was hungry, would you not feed them?

Clio: Of course

MHJ: Even though, you don’t KNOW they are a good person, you would help them. You judged them to be good and worth your help. Why is this any different?

Clio: There is a big difference between helping and hurting

MHJ: Not really

Clio: <finally looking at Moose> What do you mean?

MHJ: Sometimes the only way to help a person is to hurt them. To make them realize what they have done wrong. Sometimes, kindness is not the answer. People are evil, people hurt…..

Clio: Hurt them before they hurt you……

<Moose pauses for a moment, then continues>

MHJ: Did you watch the DVD’s?

Clio: Yes

MHJ: Then let me ask you something. Have I ever said that I am something that I am clearly not?

Clio: No…….not from what I saw

MHJ: I am a bad person. I do bad things, and I relish that. People want to hurt me because I do bad things, I accept that. I accept who I am, and I accept the consequences of my actions. If it is who you are, you are only hurting yourself by not embracing it.

<Clio just stares at Moose>

MHJ: There are people here in the OOWF that WILL hurt you. They will pretend to care, they will tell you they would never hurt you, but they will. You have to treat everyone like an enemy and hurt them before they hurt you. You show mercy, you hesitate for a second, and they will hurt you. It is in you, I can see you enjoy it. Embrace it, it is what you are, what you do. Don’t hold back

Clio: But all I have been taught…….

MHJ: Doesn’t apply in the OOWF. In this world, everyone is out for themselves. Lisa and Alex will drop you on your head to win a match, to prove a point, and they won’t hesitate to do it. Alex can say he has changed, but you saw him, he walked right into your home, and did exactly what he wanted. Had he wanted to kidnap and torture you, had he wanted to carve his initials on your forehead, he would have done it. Lisa would have burned the place to the ground, that’s who they are, but they want to deny that. If you are not a predator, you WILL be a victim.

And that is the truth.

Trust me

<Moose walks away and leaves Clio to think. She stands there for a moment, then turns and heads back to her locker room>

[BookerShark]

AA, LD and Stank are still trying to cut a promo.

AA: Take seven!

Stank: And from the depths of hades, I will take (cough, cough)...I will take that OOWF title (cough, hack!)...shit! What's with all the smoke?

AA: CUT! Stank, what's the problem?

Stank: I can't breathe! What's with all the smoke machines?

AA: I was going for gay spooky. The guys in chat recommended it.

LD: Which ones?

AA: Tommy and Doug. And Wyatt thought it was a good idea.

LD: I'm going to kick somebody's ass! I'm going to hit them so hard, they're going to be hit hard!

AA: That's it! I like the emotion! The script could be better but that's good, LD.

LD: I was talking about you!

Stank: Actually, I think I might go kick Wyatt's ass just on principle.

AA: OK, you guys go do that. I'll work on something else.

[BookerShark]

(The INC approaches the office or Wyatt Cox, who is pouring over papers. He sees the INC and reaches for a baseball bat, then puts it down.)

Sorry. We're all a bit on edge. We've come up with some good stories regarding politics that Mary Lou and I have been working on. These could blow both candidates out of the water.

As for the twin's match this week, let me make myself perfectly clear.

We went to GM Selena's office today. She settled the girls down a lot. They understand why they got the match they got this week. It's a perfectly logical explanation. The top tag teams are competing for a title shot. That's great. The board thought a match between Phoenix Rising and Power and Glory would be great. That's fine. Phoenix Rising wants the match to be for the title. Not so fine.

See, I understand pressure. I understand these girls. They are now under so much performance pressure that I'm worried.

They're also facing a team that is without a doubt the top team in the OOWF today. In just their seventh match. Ever.

Now understand this, my fine floaty friend, I may be an optimist, but I understand reality. And the truth is the girls are great, but they're in over their heads. They're good, but Fire and Alex, well, to steal from Mr Darling, they're the champs, and the twins just aren't.

I worry for my girl's peace of mind. I worry for how they will react if they lose again, and they lose to Firewoman and her husband. Right now, the girls are fun, a joy. But a loss this week, well, it might send them places they don't need to be.

I told you, there's a dark side to the Neals. You don't want those two going there. The OOWF would surely become a very dark place. A place that would make Moosehead Jack's mind look like as threatening as a Ferris Wheel.

Trust me.

(Wyatt picks up the ball bat, swings it at the Ninjacam, and it goes to static as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

AA, LD and Stank are still trying to cut a promo.

AA: TAKE Twenty TWO!

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

Stank:

LD:

AA:

Stank:

LD:

AA:

Stank:

LD:

AA:

Stank:

LD:

AA:

Stank: We don't have to do this.

LDW: I agree. We should just leave.

*Stank and LD head toward the exit when an unidentified, homely looking, female walks in and confronts the two. Her face is contorted in a frown that wants to convey her dismay... but succeeds only in making her look even more unattractive. A small wail leaks out of her mouth as she wipes away non-existent tears from her face. Her voice cracks as she speaks.*

UHLF: My name is C..Claire Lynch.

Stank: Dear God.

CL: LD Williams you are like family to me.

LDW: I've never met you before today.

CL: And Stank you and I have known each other for a long time.

Stank: No we haven't.

CL: I respect you LD Williams. I respect you a lot. You have been a great confidant.

LDW: Please stop.

*Claire can barely contain her woe. She wipes away again at her crocodile tears then continues.*

CL: I knew if I came to the OOWF to seek help that Stank would, because that's just the kind of guy he is.

Stank: Go away.

CL: NO! I have to tell everyone the truth!

Stank: NOBODY gives a shit about who you are!

LDW: Or about what you are saying!

CL: ... ... ... ... Stank and LD Williams are NOT having and AFFAIR!

Stank: Here we go.

CL: You see I'm an addict. I started drinking. I do all sorts of drugs.

LDW: Like?

CL: I don't know... all kinds.

Stank: Crack?

CL: Yup.

Stank: E?

CL: Uh huh.

LDW: Acetaminophen.

CL: You bet. I get real high off of that.

*Stank and LD glance at one another.*

LDW: Caffeine?

CL: I blew a guy on the street once for three kilos.

Stank: Really. How about Worcestershire?

CL: That's the worst one... and I've done it.

LDW: Pot?

CL: NO!

Stank: Thisisstupid ALAN!

CL: Stank and LD took me to rehab-

Stank - Woman shut your mouth, ALAN!

AA: I'm standing right here and I heard everything! But Claire hasn't TOLD us the WHOLE story, has she?

Stank: Stop.

AA: You WOULD like me to stop, wouldn't you Stank? But you might have noticed that Claire is pregnant.

Stank: Actually I didn't notice.

AA: Well she IS... and LD IS THE FATHER!

LDW: I'm going to hit you so hard, you're going to be hit hard!

Stank: Claire, beat it. Here's a twenty. Go take some acting lessons. Fix yourself up... take a shower.. do SOMETHING, just get the FUCK outta here.

*Claire looks indignant and opens her mouth to protest, but the look on Stank's face tells her she should leave. She takes the twenty dollar bill from Stank, stuffs it down the front of her shirt, turns, and leaves as the crumpled up twenty falls completely through, landing on the floor behind her as she exits. Attitude Adjuster strolls over and retrieves the twenty. He stretches it out and thumps Andrew Jackson's portrait. Before AA can pocket the bill, Stank SNATCHES it out of his hand!*

Stank: Give me THAT! Now Alan, enough with the promos. I mean were you seriously going to steal material from one of the WORST promos in the history of wrestlecrap?

AA: I polish turds. That's what I DO, my man.

Stank: I'm not your man.

AA: No. But before Claire showed up everyone thought you and LD-

Stank: ENOUGH!

AA:

LDW: Alan while we appreciate the effort...

Stank: ...Billy Dee and I have got this.

AA: Do you? DO YOU.. GOT this? Gentlemen... I am a promo master... a proMASTicator, if you will.

Stank: I will not.

AA: All I'm saying is this... leave the promotificating to the professional hmmkay? Help me, to help you.

Stank:

AA: Help me... to help... you.

LDW:

Stank:

AA:

Stank: No.

AA: AWWWW C'MON MAN!

*Claire walks back into the room.*

CL: Did I drop a twenty?

*Justin Sane walks in.*

JS: Hey Boss. Compton's on fire. Can I borrow five dollars?

*Stank hands Justin the twenty. Justin reaches into his pocket and gives Stank fifteen dollars.*

CL: So... I... seem to have... lost... my twenty. You think you could...?

*Before Stank can cuss her out, and as Justin turns to leave, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville walks in and sets his eyes on Claire.*

ABFD: Whoa... Who's this sweet potater?

Stank: *sigh* Bill, this is Claire.

ABFD: Please ta make yer acquaintances Miss Claire. How bout you an me go find us a watering hole where we can partake of some fine Pine Cone Party Likker?

CL: I woke up next to a stranger and an empty jar of that, once.

ABFD: Outstandener than hell.

CL: We held each other and cried together.

LDW: Did he just say... Compton is on fire?

AA: I could never keep up with the hippity hop lingo these kids talk today.

Stank: Exactly HOW old are you?

Fade

[BookerShark]

<Before Bill, Justin and Bill’s new friend can leave, GM Selena walks in and points at Bill>

GMS: YOU!

ABFD: Yes ‘um?

GMS: YOU. SET. COMPTON. ON. FIRE!

ABFD: Now hold on a second, that right chere is a pack of lies! I didn’t setify no city on the fire!

GMS: Oh really?

<GM Selena pulls out a remote control and presses a button, and the Selenatron 7000 comes down from the ceiling and shows some grainy footage of Justin and Bill’s Compton exploits>

AA: How’d she do that?

LDW: Shhhhh

GMS: So, what you are saying is that this, rather large drunken hillbilly, riding on a donkey, sporting a mullet, ninja mask and mickey mouse ears is NOT you?

ABFD: No ma’am. That ol boy looks NOTHIN like me!

GMS: Really? Well what about this?

<GM Selena unmutes the TV>

lookitchere, you ol boys ain’t seen nothing yet! JUSTIN! Get me that fire stick!

<Justin holds up a lighter and Bill spews Pine Cone Party Likker, creating an ENORMOUS fireball that sets the bushes on fire>

ABFD: WELL HELL! How was I supposed to know that PCPL was flammimatizable?

GMS: IT IS PURE ALCOHOL YOU IDIOT!

ABFD: ……..aaaaaandd…..

GMS: Do you have any idea how much I hate you?

ABFD: <oblivious> no ma’am

GMS: YOU BURNED DOWN HALF OF COMPTON! THE OTHER HALF IS STILL ON FIRE!

ABFD: So what you’re sayin is…….

<GM Selena screams in frustration and storms out of the room, leaving Chuckles just standing there with everyone staring at him>

Chuckles: Juh?

<Stank hands Bill a fire extinguisher>

Sta: You know what you have to do

ABFD: Yeah………

<Bill pops the top off the fire extinguisher, spraying it everywhere. He catches some in a cup and tops it with PCPL>

ABFD: WHOOOOO HOOO! PCPL SNOWCONES! OUTDAMNSTANDENER THAN HELL!

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is watching stuff on OOWF-TV, cos she had a real deep promo in her head, full of subtext and plot points and foreshadowing.

FW: LUCKY!!

L: Yes?

FW: Do you see this?

She rewinds and replays the last promo.

L: They set Compton on fire.

FW: You know what to do.

L: One lawsuit for gimmick infringement coming right up....

FW: I can't believe I work in this shithole.

[BookerShark]

Firewoman continues to watch OOWFTV lost in deep thoughts full of subtext and foreshadowing. Lucky heads out of the suite to file his lawsuit, but as he opens the door, he sees a not so Dashing Victor Deniro standing there hand raised to knock. Lucky is momentarily startled, but quickly regains his composure. Firewoman glances over and see’s Vics condition.

Fire: You look like shit Vic.

Lucky let’s Vic in, thinks about staying himself, but Firewoman motions for him to go on. He nods to Vic, who nods in return, before leaving the two alone.

DVD: I had a run in with Ricky and am apparently feeling his pain. He reminds me a lot of how you used to be.

Firewoman stands up eyeing Vic warily.

Fire: How so.

DVD: So much anger, and nothing to focus it at, just letting fly at anyone for any reason. Good to see you have changed.

At this Fire takes a couple long strides across the room and snatches Vic up by his collar slamming him back into the wall.

Fire: You don’t know me, so don’t act like you do. I tolerate you because Danny for whatever reason seems to like you. You do not get to play therapist with me got it.

Fire stares daggers at Vic who is starting to have problems breathing.

DVD: (choking)Yeah…I …..got….it.

Firewoman sees Vic is turning purple and lets him go.

Fire: Sorry, I didn’t….it’s just….

DVD: No worries, I get it, lot’s of stress going around these days. Look, maybe I can help you to release some of that pent up energy.

Firewoman throws Vic a sideways glance and smirks.

Fire: I’m a happily married woman Vic.

DVD: (smirking back) That’s not what I meant, and you know it. (Vic points to his busted up face) Obviously, I could use some more pointers.

Fire: Okay, meet me at the gym in ten.

Vic nods and heads out of the suite as we

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Darkened room lighted only by flickering candles*

A voice is heard and we can only see from behind...

Voice: People like to put words in my mouth. People like to believe they understand where I came from. People want to understand who I am. Very few have that privilege.

The camera starts to circle the room and we see one of the OOWF World Tag Team Championship Belts lying in front of the person.

Voice: People want to play the backstage politicking game. They want to claim that what happens in the ring tomorrow is to teach a lesson on a booking level. It won't be that. Power, Glory; Clio, Edra...whatever they want to be called have all the potential in the world. One day they may be great. July 11th is not that day.

The figure takes a powder out of his pocket and throws it on the candles and the flames explode into a brilliant red and green color.

Voice: This company assumes that my wife is the spiritual one; the meditative one and she is. But people forget where I come from...who I was trained by. If Wyatt wants to talk about the darkness that resides in Clio, the telepathy that lives inside Edra...he forgets my mentor. If Clio wants to see real darkness, that could be arranged. If Edra wants to get into someone's head, all she has to do is ask. But tomorrow, in Los Angeles, Power & Glory will learn a very important lesson...Phoenix Rising ain't nothing to fuck with.

Quote the Darling...

Alexander removes the hood and the eyes roll back in his head...

NEVERMORE!!!


**Fade**

[BookerShark]

AA, Stank and LD are still...ah, hell, you know what's going on.

AA: Take Forty Nine!

Stank: No! No! No! I'm not doing this! No way in hell!

LDW: Stank's right. This is ridiculous, even for the OOWF.

AA: Just try it. It worked well last night, right?

(Suddenly skippy happy music begins playing. From behind the curtain comes Firewoman. She's pissed. But she's SKIPPING to the ring! She gives AA a Death Stare as she climbs through the ropes.)

FW: Stank, you've forced me to do this. (Getting down on one knee.) Will you marry me?

Stank: Marry you? You're already married! Abuse of monogamy!

AA: That always cracks me up.

LDW (running to the ring): No! No! No! I've had this planned out all day. You're not going to steal my thunder! Fire, will you marry me?

Fire: I can't believe we're doing this. AA, I'm going to hit you so hard, you're going to be hit very hard!

AA: Isn't that LD's line?

Fire: You want another sonogram machine upside the head?

AA: Not particularly. Just get back on script, OK?

Stank: Thankfully, there's no more to this crap. Does this mean we're done?

AA: Not yet.

(Suddenly, Chris Evans come from behind the curtain.)

CE (obviously reading from the paper in his hand, and in monotone): Neither of you can marry Fire. Because I have a secret. Monkeys in the Truck, roll the footage!

On the AA8000 (which is much better than the GMS7000), we see Chris Evans and a passed out Firewoman drive up to a Las Vegas drive-thru chapel, get married by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane (in Elvis costumes), and drive out of camera range.

AA: And cut! Perfect! Perfect! You guys are great! OK, see you next week. I have a podcast to put together on FLAWEDCAST.NET!

(AA runs from the building.)

Stank: Is this over now?

LDW: I don't know. It's only Tuesday.

CE: Why am I here?

[BookerShark]

<AA is back from his podcast, and sitting in the director’s chair. Stank has a look of pure disgust on his face>

AA: TAKE IT FROM THE TOP

Stank: This is the dumbest thing ever Alan

AA: Trust me! <AA ducks out of reflex, then realizes Moose is nowhere around> Who is better at promoificating than me? This is going to win Promo of the year! ACTION!

Stank: I don’t know what’s going on in my life, I don’t even know if I am Mr. Wonderful anymore!

<Stank kicks a chair>

WHAT IS THIS!

<Stank flips over a table>

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! CAN’T BELIEVE IT

<Stank stares into a mirror>

Don’t know what’s going on, somethin’s gonna happen. This is drivin me up a wall! Who am I? This ain’t me! I just don’t know what’s goin on, I don’t know if I’m Mr. Wonderful anymore. I just don’t know, I just don’t know, man, I just don’t know

<Cardboard Cutout Psychic Johnny Adrenaline “walks” into the room, wearing a horrible wig>

GARY SPIVEY? GARY SPIVEY OF THE PSYCHIC COMPETITIVES NETWORK?

CCPJA: <but clearly AA’s voice> Mr. Wonderful, they let me back here to see you. I got a vision, I knew you weren’t ok. There’s something I have to tell you, I know you’re not ok

Stank: You did? How did you know that?

CCPJA: I got a vision, psychics know, you gotta listen to me

Stank: Gary I used to be the highest rated wrestler in the whole world! I used to have so many belts that I….I couldn’t carry them all!

CCPJA: I know, I can see these things you’re not ok, but you’re Mr. Wonderful, and you’re not feeling so wonderful. These things are going to pass, I see great things for you, you have to be Mr. Wonderful, that’s you!

<Bill and Justin are sitting back watching the promo as it is being done, Bill leans over to Justin>

ABFD: Do they know that ol’ boy is a cardboard cutout?

JS: Shhh

Stank: I used to be Mr. Wonderful! But I….

CCPJA: No, no listen to me, YOU are Mr. Wonderful, they call you Mr. Wonderful look in the mirror who do you see? Who do you see. Get up, look, go on, look, in the mirror, who do you see?

Stank: I see, I see Mr. Wonderful

CCPJA: You see the vision I see. See look you’ll see the same vision I see, what do you see?
Stank: I AM Mr. Wonderful. I AM MR WONDERFUL!

CCPJA: You are Mr. Wonderful.

Stank: Yes! I am Mr Wonderful

CCPJA: They call you Mr. Wonderful

Stank: I am Mr. Wonderful!

CCPJA: And you know you’re wonderful too

Stank: I look better than I ever did before

CCPJA: See my visions? Bigger cars! Bigger houses! More money!

Stank: I see Mr. Wonderful!

CCPJA: There you are, you see what I see, they call you Mr. Wonderful and know you’re wonderful too. YOU’RE Mr Wonderful

Stank: I am Mr. Wonderful. I am Mr. Wonderful!

CCPJA: There you are! You ARE Mr. Wonderful!

Stank: I am Mr. Wonderful!

CCPJA: You got it!

Stank: I like that! I AM Mr. Wonderful! I like that. I AM Mr. Wonderful. Thank you Gary!........OH HELL NO! I AM NOT KISSING MY REFLECTION!

AA: CUT! What are you doing? You were almost done!

Stank: Alan…..I want to beat your ass more now than I did in 1880, and YOU….

<Stank shoots a look over to LD Williams, who is doubled over and laughing hysterically>

Stank:……..I am going to beat YOUR ass in the ring!

<Stank storms off in a huff, LD tries to compose himself, but is still laughing hard>

LD: No wait……..Stank……come back…….Gary wants you to try on his wig!

<LD chases Stank down the hall, still laughing uncontrollably>

AA: That’s a wrap!

ABFD: Am I drunk, or is this place kinda on the weird side?

JS: You ain’t seen nothing yet. Come on, I wanna take Drunkette and get her some racing stripes

ABFD: <Looking at the newly christened Ellie May from Elijay> You comin or what?

EMFE: Sure, why not?

<They leave, and we end with AA on the phone>

AA: yes, Dayton Marriott? Yeah I would like to book the Presidential Suite for September 29. ……yes I know the OOWF is in town that week, I am Alan Capps……..yes Attitude Adjuster!.......NO! I AM NOT DEAD!........NO! …….. HOW WOULD I BE TALKING TO YOU IF I WERE DEAD? No Gary…….how do YOU know about Gary Spivey? Anyway, book me the room, you are talking to the producer of the OOWF Promo of the Year! ………yes that is a THING!.........just book the room!

<fade>