Post by BookerShark on Jul 29, 2012 22:02:06 GMT -5
OOWF Bloodbath in Paradise 5
Live! From Las Vegas, Nevada
BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. THE DRACULS – Pine Cone Party Likker on a Pole Match
The Draculs, Tavian, Vlad and Radu make their way to the ring and are booed loudly by the crowd. The rules here are simple, there is a jar of pine cone party likker at the top of a pole in one corner. The other three corners have various weapons. If you get the weapons down, you can use them as you see fit. If you get the PCPL down, you can do whatever you want with it. With the Draculs out, Banned From Everywhere are announced next, and Justin Sane and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville ride out on Drunkey and Drunkette while Ellie May From Elijay, still sporting her burlap bag outfit, rides out on her very own likkercicle (for those who don’t know, that is a moped).
They circle the ring, then climb off and get into the ring, where the Draculs immediately attack. Having the numbers advantage, they are able to beat Justin and Bill down to the mat, then the three of them turn their attention to Ellie May. They back her into the corner and taunt her. She shrinks then just before they can hit her, she tells them to look behind them. When they all turn around to look, Ellie May shows some surprising agility and hops to the top rope and quickly climbs the pole, takes the kendo stick from the top and tosses it to Justin.
Justin catches the kendo stick and proceeds to BEAT THE HOLY TAR out of Tavian, Vlad and Radu Dracul. Just knocks Tavian and Vlad out of the ring with shots upside the head, then buries the kendo stick in Radu’s midsection. As the Hungarian gets his breath back and stands up, Bill nearly decapitates him with a MASON-DIXON LINE sending him out of the ring with his brothers.
The Draculs are all trying to get to their feet, inside the ring Bill bends over and grabs the middle rope, Justin gets a running start and screams BUCK BUCK NUMBER ONE! And leaps off Bill’s back and sails over the top rope and takes out all the Dracul’s. Justin grabs Tavian and rolls him into the ring, right into the arms of Awesome Bill. Bill pulls Tavian to his feet and hits him with a series of BIONIC ELBOWS! Justin steps between the ropes, and when Bill hits Tavian with an elbow, he turns to Justin and Justin yells HI-YA and hits him with a karate chop between the eyes. They do this several times before Tavian hits the mat.
While they are beating Tavian to death, Vlad and Radu are climbing for the Pine Cone Party Likker, but Ellie May comes into the ring and grabs their legs and pulls them off the turnbuckle. They land on either side of the turnbuckle and Ellie grabs their heads and gives them a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Vlad and Radu fall off the apron to the floor.
Inside the ring, Tavian hits a low blow on Justin sending him to the mat, then rakes Bill’s eyes. Tavian heads to another corner and climbs the ropes and grabs COOKIE SHEET from the pole. As Bill staggers around for a moment, Tavian leaps off the top rope and WARPS the cookie sheet around Bill’s head. Bill falls to the mat, with the sheet firmly wrapped around his head. Tavian pulls Justin to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big boot to the face. Dracul and Radu get back into the ring and they unleash a beating on Justin and Bill while Ellie May yells for them to get to their feet on the outside. Radu climbs another pole and grabs a steel chain from the pole, wraps it around his fist and catches Justin with a punch to the face that opens him up.
The Draculs gloat and keep Bill and Justin down, then finally turn their attention to the final pole with the Pine Cone Party Likker on it. The three of them head to the corner, but Ellie May gets there first and starts climbing. Vlad and Radu grab her leg and try to pull her down. She turns around and kicks Tavian and Radu in the face, then she leaps off the top rope and snaps Vlad over with a HILLBILLYRANA! Tavian and Radu get to their feet, and Bill grabs a stunned Justin, lifts him over his head, and THROWS HIM AT THE DRACULS! Justin seems a lot surprise by this but gets up, shrugs and hammers Tavian with punches to the head, then whips him at Bill, who scoops him up and hits an AWESOME BOMB!
Justin pummels Radu with karate kicks and chops, then Bill grabs him and whips him into Radu for a SPEAR! On the outside, Vlad is going for a chair when Ellie May races around the ring and leaps at him and traps him in the POSSUM POUCH! (ok I was reaching there, it is Jimmy Jacobs submission move where he leaps at the guy and traps the head, he calls it the End Game, I am sure it has a technical term, and I am sure we can come up with something better than the Possum Pouch). Vlad slumps to his knees! He is OUT! Tavian is still dead from the AWESOME BOMB and Radu is recovering, but then Justin grabs him and PLANTS him with a DDT! Justin gets to his feet and points to the corner, Bill runs to the corner, climbs the ropes and grabs the PCPL!
WINNERS in 13:33 – Banned From Everywhere & Ellie May From Elijay
Bill takes the top off of the PCPL and downs the whole mason jar, his eyes almost immediately glaze over and he falls back into the ring. Ellie May and Justin help him to his feet and load him up on Drunkey, backward of course, and Justin gets on Drunkette while Ellie May fires up the Likkercicle and the trio head to the back to the cheers of the fans.
COMRADE SHARKOFF vs. CROWING – Chain Match
“The Crowing” by Coheed and Cambria plays as Crowing makes his entrance, perched at the top of the ramp and scanning the audience with hand over eyes, Christian-style, before making a sliding entrance under the ring ropes and approaching the referee. The referee carefully attaches one end of the long chain to the wrist of the former Firechild, checking for reasonable mobility. Gorky Park’s “Moscow Calling” heralds the entrance of the ideological spawn of Mother Russia and Father Time, Comrade Sharkoff. He glares at the hipster in front with the “Tito Was Right” sign, and storms up the stairs, taking the chain around the wrist and demanding the bell before the referee can check Sharkoff’s mobility.
Sharkoff is obliged, and he immediately charges Crowing with some force, yet the technician in Crowing manages to shift the momentum into a normal lockup. Crowing shifts into a textbook armbar, really tweaking Sharkoff’s 16-inch sickle (no, not that one), but Sharkoff wraps the chain around his hand and smacks it back into the head of Crowing, breaking the hold and reminding the smaller man that technical prowess alone will not get him by in this match. Crowing dodges the second chain-assisted fist attempt from Sharkoff, catching Sharkoff with an elbow to the back of the head. Swinging the chain around Sharkoff’s front, Crowing executes a textbook back neckbreaker that pulls the chain across the neck of Sharkoff! Crowing goes for a quick cover, but Sharkoff powers out at one. Crowing hooks Sharkoff up for a snap suplex after a chain shot to the gut: one execution, roll the hips…two executions, roll the hips…however, Crowing’s legs are briefly entangled in the chain, and Sharkoff yanks the chain to trip Crowing up before dropping an elbow across the chest.
More brawling ensues from the two, with Crowing attempting to shift to mat wrestling whenever possible, and Sharkoff resorting to the chain rather than engaging. Crowing gets the advantage following a knee to Sharkoff’s head, and goes to the top rope for a plancha…but Sharkoff yanks him off early and he faceplants! Sharkoff has wrapped the chain around Crowing’s neck…and he heaves him over the ropes! Crowing is hanging as though from a noose! Crowing attempts to regain his footing on the apron to regain circulation, but a hard boot from Sharkoff punts him right back off again! Crowing is flailing as the chain squeezes tighter, but he eventually grabs onto the middle rope, pulls himself up and back over the ropes. Sharkoff attempts to lariat him right back over, but Crowing retains the presence of mind to chopblock Sharkoff. Crowing wraps the chain around Sharkoff’s throat himself, attempting to turn the tables as he pulls tightly, but Sharkoff smartly drops down with a jawbreaker of sorts that drives Crowing’s face into the chain.
Quickly whipping the chain off his own neck, Sharkoff steadies his assisted fist, and clocks Crowing right between the eyes! Crowing goes down, bleeding from the nose slightly, and Sharkoff gets a sick look in his eyes. He wraps the chain around the neck of Crowing twice, adjusting his opponent’s body slightly before rolling out of the ring and standing by the turnbuckle post. Sharkoff pulls sudden and hard, almost running, to yank Crowing neck-first into the turnbuckle post, as Crowing’s head and neck SMACK against the post in a sick fashion! To the fans in the more distant seats, it looks as though Crowing’s neck has just snapped—not the case, but serious damage has clearly been done as Crowing lies motionless on the mat outside.
A flash of concern comes across the Comrade’s face, but dismissing it, Sharkoff rolls Crowing back into the ring and goes for the cover. It’s not even contested: 1-2-3.
WINNER in 12:53…Comrade Sharkoff.
Sharkoff steps back as the ringside medical staff go in to check on Crowing, only posing for a moment to boos before making his exit. Crowing is immediately moved onto a stretcher with a neckbrace, though it’s not clear at this point whether the brace is merely precautionary or a sign of serious injury. Regardless, Crowing flips the “Thumbs Up” to the crowd, causing a cheer to erupt from the concerned fans.
EL LOBO SANGRIENTO vs. MATT FOLZ – Submission Match
El Lobo Sangriento makes his entrance to "Joker and the Thief." He gets lots of cheers for his recent faciness. Folz comes out to "Battle without Honor or Humanity" to a mixed reaction, as folks are still not sure where he is. He takes his towel and water bottle and puts it near the corner on the floor, which is new and different and I'm really sure will not come into play later at all. But they appreciate that he seems to have stepped up his game recently. Since this is a submission match we probably won't see a lot of high flying. Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell, and here we go.
Lobo goes right for the legs with a low tackle. He catches Folz just a bit off guard and knocks him over, but can't get any kind of lock on it. Folz rains elbows down on Lobo's back so he has to retreat a bit. Both men are on one knee already, and Folz lets go with a bitchslap from Hell, knocking Lobo over. Folz leaps on him to try and capitalize, but can't really get the ankle lock. Lobo rolls and kicks Folz off. Folz hits the ropes as Lobo stands, and flies out with a clothesline. He pulls Lobo up and gets a T-Bone suplex. Out of habit he floats over for a pin, but that's not going to work here, and not only because Lobo kicks out at barely the one-count. Folz backs up a bit, but not much, grabbing Lobo from behind into a Tazzmission. He puts the pressure on, and Lobo struggles a bit. It's still early, but Folz is not giving up. Lobo is able to squirm around a bit, getting to one foot, then the next, bringing Folz up with him. It looks like Folz is going to try for another suplex, but Lobo drops his center of gravity enough to resist. He also is able to fire an elbow or three back into Folz's ribs. Folz releases, and Lobo is able to spin around and get Folz into a Full Nelson. He turns that into a Full Nelson slam, and then puts the boots to Folz to keep him grounded. They're pretty close to the ropes though and Folz grabs on like his life depended on it. Lobo backs off, since he IS a face and all that.
Folz gets to his feet, although outside the ropes. Lobo believes that's good enough, as he's a face but not an idiot. Lobo hits the ropes, and then flying shoulder blocks Folz onto the floor. He runs back again and TOPE CON HILO! Both men crash to the floor, and slowly get to their feet. Folz grabs Lobo and whips him into the ring post. Lobo bounces off and Folz goes to throw him to the far post, but Lobo reverses and Folz hits the steps instead. A small cut opens on Folz's forehead, but that's nothing compared to the cut on his lip. He may have caught more of that with his face than intended. Folz wipes his mouth, and smiles. Junior Hale has started a count but is only at three. Lobo rolls in, and is soon followed by Folz, but he doesn't let Folz get too far before he puts a few stomps to him. Folz still works his way up to his feet, slowly and a bit of a hockey fight breaks out. Lobo launches a right haymaker, but Folz ducks it and hits a Fisherman's Suplex. He again goes for the Ankle Lock, and gets it locked in this time. Folz cranks it in good, and Lobo does the streeeeeeeeeetch out for the ropes. Will he reach it?
He crawls...slowly...one....hand....at....a....time....streeeeeetch. He's so close! But no! Folz pulls him back. And we start the process all over again. Lobo crawls...stretches. Crawls...stretches. Crawls...stretches...and he GRABS IT! The crowd cheers. They're cheering so loudly that Folz apparently doesn't hear that Hale is counting, until Hale gets almost to five. Folz drops the foot, and Lobo rubs it a bit, trying to get some feeling back into. Folz again wipes his mouth, smearing blood on his elbow pad. He charges and Lobo catches him with a boot to the midsection, setting up for double underhook suplex. Folz flies across the ring and lands hard, but before Lobo can capitalize, Folz slides out. He walks around the ring rubbing the blood from his lip, trying to collect his thoughts or something. Hale starts the count as Folz checks his elbow pad and sees the blood on it. He walks around to where his water bottle and towel are, dumps the liquid inside onto the towel and cleans his elbow pad off. Odd. He rolls back in the ring just as Hale gets to "seven." Lobo is tired of this and goes to charge in, but Folz has him scouted and drops down for a toe hold. He works his way around and cinches Lobo in to the STF! He cranks down tightly and Lobo squirms frantically...for a bit. Folz holds on tight, keeping Lobo's face in the crook of his elbow. Lobo squirms, but a little less frantically. Finally...Lobo seems like he's out. Hale goes over and begins the arm raise...one.....Lobo's arm drops. Two...Lobo's arm drops again. No one is surprised by this. Hale lifts the arm again and....THREE! Lobo's arm drops like a stone. He is OUT folks. Hale calls for the bell.
WINNER in 21:11 – Matt Folz
After the match, Lobo lays unconscious on the mat. Folz rolls out after demanding Hale raise his arm, grabs his towel and water bottle and goes up the ramp. After several long, tense moments, and a visit from the medical staff, Lobo finally begins to wake up, coughing, and having no idea where he is or what happened. They get him to his feet, and help him to the back.
STANK & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. POWER & GLORY – Texas Tornado Match[/u]
Nonpoint's Skin blasts from the speakers and the Grand Slam Champion Stank emerges from the curtains accompanied by his handicap, Attitude Adjuster, who walks along the ramp and around the ring kissing hands and shaking babies...because he gets confused like that. He goes over to the announce table and tells the announce team they cannot make fun of him, because that would be abuse, of, announcer. Stank finally tires of the antics of AA and tells him to get into the ring.
It's the most business like entrance from Wyatt Cox and Power and Glory as Two Steps from Hell's Fortress of Seduction fires up and Wyatt comes out in his sparkly red suit carrying his Halliburton and the ladies are wearing all black with their pink collars. They look up into the upper balcony to see the fans from Ely cheering them and holding up “We love P&G” signs. Wyatt and the twins wave before putting on their game faces and head down the ramp. They stop at the bottom of the ramp to examine the situation, and Wyatt directs them to enter the ring from adjacent corners. Stank stands with his back to the far corner and AA stands behind him jabbering and pointing his fingers at the Twins.
Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell, as Power squares off with Stank and Attitude Adjuster locks up with Glory at the opening. Power and Stank try to force the other into the corner while Glory gets AA into the ropes and tries to whip him across the ring but AA reverses and Glory ends up falling awkwardly through the ropes. Wyatt goes over to help his charge to her feet and makes an adjustment to Glory's kneepad. He whispers instructions into her ear and she gets back up. Meanwhile AA has gone over to help Stank force Power into the corner and the two are throwing chops into Power's chest as the fans WHOO! Glory runs to AA, grabs him and whips him into the ropes, and delivers a picture perfect Harley Race high knee to the head and AA drops like he was shot. Glory backs into the corner opposite Power and Stank and runs toward them and delivers a knee to the small of the back that drops Stank to one knee.
Power and Glory roll out of the ring and reach in to grab Stank's legs and proceed to post the big man. As Junior Hale warns the twins Wyatt Cox runs to the other side of the ring where AA is stirring and delivers a Halliburton shot to the head and AA falls again. Glory sees this and rolls into the ring to try the pin on AA, but she only gets a two count. Glory begins choking AA which draws a warning from the referee, but as Junior Hale is occupied with this, Power is torquing Stank's bad knee on the ring post, and Wyatt delivers a couple of Halliburton shots to the knee while it is stretched. That's guaranteed to slow the big man.
As Stank rolls back into the ring, Power heads to the top rope as Glory grabs the bad wheel of Stank and Power delivers a kneedrop to the thigh that further slows the Grand Slam Winner.
Power turns Stank over and locks in the Reverse Indian Death Lock trying to get a submission win, while Glory locks in the standing Katahaijime on AA. As Power leans back to torque the hold she gets a little too close to Stank who locks on a Chinlock that starts twisting Power's leg. The pain gets to be too intense for Power who releases the hold and Stank pulls Power into a Dragon Sleeper while he kicks the mat to try to get the blood flowing back to his legs. Meanwhile AA reaches back and grabs Glory's hair and drops down, jacking her jaw in the process. Both go down hard. Stank tries to pull Power in tighter but she manages to reach the ropes with her legs.
Stank reaches down to slap his legs to get some feeling into them while Wyatt pulls Power out of the ring and pours Deja Blue over her head to bring her around. Sensing that an early endgame might be in order, Wyatt sends Power to pull up AA and sets him on the top rope and pulls AA up for the Superplex. Glory follows with a Shooting Star Press to complete the Twin Plex, but Stank limps in to pull Glory off AA and throw her out of the ring! Stank explodes with clotheslines, spears, and finally picks up Power for an Oklahoma Slam....
...when there's a huge commotion at ringside as THE REAL JOHNNY ADRENALINE AND FF CAPSLOCK appear! Stank drops Power and walks over along with AA to jaw jack with their former partners in the Chickenshit Heels and Drink and Destroy, which gives Power and Glory time to regroup as Glory dropkicks AA out of the ring and Power picks up the big man for a TIGER SUPLEX! Power holds the bridge for a 1-2-3, and an upset! The rookie has pinned one of the elite Grand Slam Champs!
WINNERS in 22:44 – Power and Glory.
Wyatt and the Twins beat a hasty retreat, while the jaw jacking continues at ringside which only serves to blow up again when Johnny Adrenaline points out to AA that they lost to a team of girls...
THE FLYIN HAWAIIANS vs. THE HOLY SPIRIT SQUAD– What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas Match
Hero blares from the speakers as Stan Fulton and Mai Muyo make their way to ringside. Mai skips happily around the ring as Stan strolls to join her. They stay at ringside and await their opposition.
Vertigo plays and Noleani appears on stage doing her little intro dance. Stan and Mai walk to the end of the ramp waiting for Kai and Aina, when the Hawaii’ans blitz them from behind! Kai tosses Mai into the barricade and he and Aina begin wailing on Stan. Fulton tosses Aina away and backdrops Kai into the crowd. Mai hits a Thesz Press on Aina and begins to pound on him with her fists. Noleani comes up behind her and pulls Mai’s hair yanking her head back and causing Mai to stand up. She walks up to Noleani and stares at her silently for a few moments with an eerie grin, then pulls her close and bends down and kisses he stomach! Noleani screams, and Aina comes running up and spears Mai to the stage.
Fulton has followed Kai into the crowd. A fan hands him a beer and he blasts Kai in the face with it. Kai stumbles back into a child’s lap. He grabs the kids OOWF Replica Toy World Title Belt (Now 15% off at OOWFshop.com!) and charges Stan, nailing him in the face. Stan shakes the attack off pretty easily, but then eats an enziguri from Kai and falls into the aisle way. Kai grabs a chair and beckons Crusher to stand back up. As he does, Kai blasts him in the back with the chair. Stan staggers up the aisle, Kai following and nailing him with the chair every few feet.
Aina, has drug Mai backstage and out into the parking garage, pelting her with various weapons along the way. He whips Mai into a sports car and she slumps to the ground. Aina opens the door (because random cars are clearly left unlocked) and tosses her in the passenger seat. Aina climbs in and DRIVES OFF WITH MAI!
Fulton has staggered his way to the arena concourse, with Kai still in pursuit. Kai swings the chair once again, but Fulton ducks and the chair CLANGS against a pillar. Fulton kicks Kai and tosses him into the concession stand! Popcorn and nachos fly everywhere, and Kai stands up, partially covered in the stuff. Kai grabs the soda nozzle and sprays it at Fulton, giving him the chance to jump out of the stand and dive at Crusher. Fulton catches him and hits a Back Cut Slam on the Floor! Stan grabs Kai and throws him into the glass doors, knocking one totally off the hinges and sending Kai outside onto the concrete. Fulton Drags Kai up the sidewalk to the crosswalk heading to a parking lot across the street. He bangs Kai’s head into a light pole a couple of times, when Aina speeds by in the sports car. The passenger door opens up, and without slowing down, Mai gets pushed out of the moving vehicle! She rolls across the asphalt and sprawls in the gutter at Stan’s feet, covered now in scrapes, cuts and blood. A SCREECHING of brakes is heard, and Aina runs out. Stan Tosses Kai to the ground and rushes across the street at Aina, they begin potatoing each other, and each man soon has a swollen eye and cheek. Fulton chases Aina down the street.
Mai and Kai both get to their feet and take off after their partners… but they’re going the wrong way! She tosses Kai into a wall and throws a newspaper machine at him. The THUMP shakes the cameraman and he stumbles to his feet, So all we see is a street level view of Mai dragging Kai through a nearby set of doors.
Aina is seen throwing Crusher through the doors of a hotel. Aina decks the concierge and tries to whip Fulton into the check-in desk. Fulton rotates, and sends Aina sprawling through some double doors and into the casino. Aina crashes into a roulette wheel and hits the floor. Stan grabs him and presses him high overhead and THROUGH a blackjack table! Cards, chips and people scatter everywhere
In the arena, a Holy Shit chant breaks out, as the crowd is watching on the Jumbo Tron, split screen style. They can see the other camera has caught up with Mai inside the Fools Rush In Wedding Chapel! She has Kai on his knees and is wailing on him with a chair. The Elvis impersonator appears singing on a microphone. Mai drags Kai up to the altar and props him up. The Elvis impersonator begins his ceremony and we head Mai say “I Do” Kai shakes the cobwebs loose, then looks around and realizes where he is. He takes off running, trips over the microphone cord and crashes into a floral display… that was hiding the sound equipment! Kai hits a speaker hard and stumbles over to the reception table. Mai is waiting for him and smashes his head into the wedding cake! She pulls him onto the table, climbs up and hits the End-is-Here THROUGH THE TABLE! She covers him and a referee appears.
At the same time, Fulton and Aina are taking turns putting each other through slot machines. Aina blocks an attempt and DDT’s Fulton on the floor. He grabs a chip tray from a pit boss and smashes it against the machine, giving him a nice jagged edge to work with. He plunges it into Crusher’s forehead, then Lifts Stan onto a Craps table and hits him with the rake a few times. Aina climbs onto the table next to it and gets a running start… RUNNING SENTON! The table crashes and Aina makes a cover. Another referee appears out of nowhere.
Back in the arena, the crowd is going nuts with the wild action. They count along with both referees at the same time 1….2…..3! The Bell rings, both referees raise the hand, but the official announcement is made in the arena,
DECISION; in 15:42; a Draw.
The four combatants slowly get to their feet, as OOWF officials swarm both locations, checking on the wrestlers and opening their checkbooks.
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. GHOSTHEAD – Title vs. Title Last Man Standing Match
The rules for this match are very simple:
1. There are no countouts
2. There are no submissions
3. There are no pinfalls
4. There are no disqualifications
5. The last man standing, the one who cannot get to his feet before the referee counts ten, will be declared the winner
“My Ruin” by Sevendust plays and the OOWF Onslaught champion Ghosthead makes his way to the ring. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction. On one hand he is Stank’s brother, and he is facing Moose. On the other……they really don’t like him all that much. Ghost ignores them and walks to the ring, hands his title to the referee and waits in the corner.
“Scarecrow” plays, and there is no mixed reaction here. The crowd nearly boos Moose out of the building. He sneers at some of them, but mostly ignores them. Moose rolls into the ring, slumps in the corner, then slides his DDT title across the ring to the referee. The ref picks up the title, holds both of them in the air and calls for the bell.
Moose remains in the corner, just staring at Ghosthead. Ghost moves to the middle of the ring and dares Moose to get to his feet, but Moose remains where he is. The crowd starts to boo loudly, and finally Ghost charges into the corner, but Moose drops to the mat and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor. Ghost stops short of hitting the turnbuckle, but from outside the ring, Moose grabs his leg and takes him to the mat, then slams his knee into the ringpost. Ghost grabs his leg and drags himself back into the middle of the ring.
Moose climbs back into the ring and grabs Ghost’s leg and starts to work the knee, but when he goes for a figure four leglock, Ghost repeatedly kicks him in the face with his feet leg, splitting Moose’s lip open and drawing a stream of blood. One of the kicks knocks Moose a little goofy and he staggers away. Ghost gets to his feet and lifts Moose from behind and drops him on the back of his head with a belly to back suplex. Ghost gets to his feet but doesn’t even waste his time with a ten count as Moose is on his hands and knees after only about two.
Ghost charges and catches Moose with a kick to the mouth that sends him rolling out of the ring to the floor. Ghost gets a running start and dives over the top rope and lands right on Moose. Ghost gives Jack no time to catch his breath, lifting him for another belly to back suplex, but crotching him on the guard rail. Ghost climbs onto the apron, gets a running start and leaps off, catching Moose with a kick to the face that sends him into the crowd.
Ghost reaches over the guardrail and pulls Moose over, keeps him in a front face lock, then PLANTS him on the floor with a DDT! Moose appears to be out cold! Ghost gets to his feet and rolls into the ring and barks at the referee to start the ten count.
Moose somehow manages to pull himself up and roll back into the ring before the ten count. Ghost just watches as he pulls himself up in the corner, then charges in and catches him with a big corner splash. Moose staggers out of the corner and Ghost grabs him from behind and hits a German suplex into the buckle. Ghost hesitates for a second, then as Moose gets up in the corner again, he charges in, but Moose moves out of the way, and as Ghost staggers backward, Moose hits him with a discus clothesline that nearly takes his head off.
Moose snarls and hammers Ghost with punches to the face, then pulls him up and whips him into the corner. Ghost slams sternum first into the corner, and Moose follows him in with a knee to the back of the head. Jack grabs Ghost and sets him on the top rope and climbs up after him and connects with a top rope Olympic slam. Ghost hits the mat hard and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor. Moose steps back and tells the referee to count, and he makes it to eight before Ghost starts to pull himself into the ring. Moose charges down the apron and catches Ghost with a knee to the temple that sends him back to the floor.
Moose leaves the ring and grabs Ghost and rolls him into the ring and tries a piledriver, but Ghost back drops out of it. Moose tries to pull Ghost up again, but Ghost takes him to the mat and hammers him on the face with repeated forearm smashes, the referee looks like he may step in and stop the match when Moose catches Ghost’s arm and traps him in a sort of anaconda vice, but has no leverage to really apply the hold properly. The two of them roll around the mat, punching and goughing trying to get the advantage.
The match continues on for over thirty minutes, with both Moose and Ghost throwing everything they have at one another. The match has been surprisingly clean given the participants. Ghost has dropped Moose on his head numerous times, working on his neck, perhaps trying to be the second Mann to break Moose’s neck. Moose has worked over Ghosts knee with a variety of kneebreakers and submission moves – even though submissions don’t matter. Ghost is not nearly so fast to get to his feet anymore, while Moose looks a little dazed and glassy eyed. Both men are bleeding from various punches to the head.
Ghost catches Moose with a spinning heel kick, but tweaks his knee somewhat and falls to the mat grabbing his knee in pain. Moose pulls him up and Moose catches him with a jawbreaker. Ghost grabs Moose and pulls him up for a suplex, but his knee buckles and he drops Moose to the mat. Moose tries for a spinning elbow to the head, but Ghost ducks and catches him with a punch to the throat that sends Moose staggering to the corner. Ghost lifts Moose onto the top rope and climbs up for a superplex, then lifts him onto his shoulders for what appears to be his version of a STANK-U!
Before he can hit the move, Stank comes down from the back and yells at Ghost. Before history can potentially repeat itself, Moose slips out of the hold and grabs Ghost and hits something like a bulldog off the top rope driving them both through the Chilean Announce Table! Stank just stands there and stares, slowly shaking his head. Officials come out and the referee starts something of a hasty ten count, counting both men down in about six seconds.
WINNER – No Contest in 35:55
Ghost and Moose are both back to their feet rather quickly and look surprised that the match is over. Ghost realizes what happens and walks up to his brother and just stares at him. Stank tries to explain, but Ghost walks past him to the back without a word. Moose gets into an animated argument with a ringside fan, then grabs the DDT title, holding the back of his head and walks up to Stank, grinning like a madman. Moose walks past him and heads up the back, Stank just turns and watches him go. The camera goes back to Moose, who points to his bloody taped fist where LQ is crossed out and PT is still visible. “Tonight Lisa…….tonight.” Stank shakes his head and follows Moose up the ramp to the back.
PHOENIX RISING vs. TEXPRESS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Strap Match
The Tag Team Championships are on the line next. Texexpress are announced first, and come to the ring to massive cheers from the crowd. Phoenix Rising are announced next, to an equally massive pop. Two of the best teams of the Tag Division match up tonight, and the crowd knows it. The ref has the straps and starts by attaching one to Chad Madison. Chad grabs the other end and heads over to attach it to Firewoman, Alex cuts him off, attaching it to his own wrist. Chad frowns a little at this, but both Firewoman and Zane seem slightly amused by it. Zane and Fire are strapped together, and the ref takes the Titles and holds them high before removing them from the ring. We get some quick handshakes from all four members, and then the bell rings and this one is underway.
No one wastes time feeling out in this one, as Chad and Alex are quickly slugging it out. Firewoman has the speed advantage over the larger Zane, and is able to rush in with a combo of kicks and chops to put him on the defense. This isn't the Texans first rodeo however, and Zane bides his time until he is able to catch one of her legs. Fire attempts an Enziguri to counter, but Zane ducks it, and pulls on the strap throwing off Fire's landing causing her to crash to the mat. Meanwhile Alex gets the upper hand in his slugfest with Chad, and catches Fire's fall out of the corner of his eye. As Zane is attempting to pick Firewoman up, Alex rushes over and levels him with a clothesline. Fire and Alex lock eyes, and Alex motions for them to switch dance partners. Fire heads over to lock up with Chad, as Alex starts to lift the big Zane off of the mat.
Zane is not as out of it as Alex was expecting however, and he catches Alex off guard with a surprise spinebuster. Firewoman is able to send Chad to the mat with a dropkick, and she attempts a pin at the same time Zane tries for one on Alex. The ref is unsure of whom to make the count for, but it ends up not mattering as both men kick out at what would have been a one. All this swapping around has caused the straps to get slightly tangled, and as Zane tries to straighten his out, Firewoman takes advantage. Looping her strap over, she runs for a leaping clothesline that tumbles both her and Zane out of the ring.
This also pulls both Chad and Alex directly into each others path, and Chad capitalizes with a snap hurricanrana that sends them tumbling out of the ring as well. The next several minutes sees a lot of attempts from all four wrestlers to return to the ring only to be pulled back out due to various strap related shenanigans. Finally the straps manage to untangle, and we end up with Fire and Zane on one side of the ring, and Alex and Chad on the other.
Zane and Alex slide into the ring, and both seem to have the same thought in mind. They each grab their straps and yank hoping to pull their respective opponents into the side of the ring. Chad is caught by this tactic, but Fire sees it coming and leaps up onto the apron avoiding it. Zane rushes in for a big boot, but Fire ducks and he ends up crotching himself on the ropes. Somewhere in the back Bridgett has to be cringing at that one. Alex takes advantage, grabbing the larger Zane and dropping him with a back suplex. However, this has given Chad time to catch his breath, and he is in to break up the follow up pinfall attempt. We get several more minutes of back and forth with both teams trying to find ways to use the straps to assist in moves only to be countered by the opposing team. The crowd continues to get amped up as these two teams tear down the house. Finally, Phoenix Rising gets a slight edge after stereo superkicks send Zane crashing to the mat. Darling follows up with a snap powerslam on Chad, and motions for Firewoman to head to the top rope.
At this point, Moosehead Jack's music hits, and we walks out onto the stage smirking. Firewoman turns her head distracted by this, and a recovered Zane takes advantage, pulling the strap and sending Firewoman tumbling off the top rope. Alexander heads over to check on her, but Chad is back on his feet. He wraps the strap around Darling, pulling him back into a strap assisted bridging german suplex.
One...
Two...
Firewoman tries to get in to break it up, but Zane cuts her off.
Three.
WINNERS in 32:02 via pinfall and new OOWF Tag Team Champions Chad Madison and Zane Meyers the Texpress
DYNAMITE” DANNY TAYLOR vs. RICKY SOARING EAGLE vs. RABBIT MASK – OOWF Intercontinental Championship Match, Elimination Rules
“Another Me” plays over the PA system as Rabbit Mask creeps down the ramp and enters the ring, the enigmatic wrestler carefully surveying his surroundings as he slinks in through the ropes. Next, the first couple bars of “Boom” by POD play, and the audience’s cheers overwhelm the already-loud rock music as “Dynamite” Danny Taylor makes his entrance. He looks into the side camera, mouths “Boom” and storms down the ramp, coming nose-to-nose with Rabbit Mask…well, chest-to-nose, given the height difference. Finally, the Intercontinental Champion, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters to “Run For The Hill” with all the mirth and swagger befitting a champion…just kidding, he looks pissed off as usual, as he chucks the championship to the referee and goes down to a stalking position in the corner as the bell rings.
The three men circle at first, but Ricky Soaring Eagle, not known for his patience and calm, swiftly kicks Rabbit Mask in the face and leaps on top of Danny with a Lou Thesz Press. Ricky is unloading with blows to the face of The Silent Giant, who shoves Ricky off and hooks him into an armbar. Rabbit Mask, with a bit of thought given to strategy, bounds off the ropes and dropkicks the restrained Ricky in the face. Having broken the hold, Rabbit leaps on Danny with a front facelock and unloads with elbows to the back of the head and neck—RM’s typical MO—but Danny spins Rabbit up and around, looking for an overhead suplex…but Rabbit Mask uses his athleticism to flip off and land on his feet! As he sizes up Danny for a kick, however, Ricky Soaring Eagle comes up from behind him and throws him with a release German Suplex! Danny rushes Eagle with a lariat attempt—Eagle ducks and DDT ends up clotheslining Rabbit Mask over the ropes to the floor below! Danny doesn’t seem to mind the change of target, until he turns around right into a SPEAR from the Native Threat! The Intercontinental Champion goes for a cover, but Danny kicks out at two.
Ricky attempts a neck vice of sorts, trying to ground Danny and pick up where Rabbit Mask left off. DDT grabs at the ropes, but when Ricky doesn’t immediately release, Taylor uses the ropes’ leverage to twist out and headbutt Eagle in the gut. Danny winces from tweaking his neck, but manages to knee Ricky again in the gut, and hook him up—with some effort—for a big powerslam! Danny goes for the cover, not noticing Rabbit Mask up on the top rope…Rabbit Mask leaps off with a leg drop to the back of Danny’s neck! Danny rolls off in pain, as Rabbit Mask stalks him before pulling in to attempt a Head Drop #1 or #4…but Mask can’t get the leverage he needs before Danny nails him in the gut with another sharp knee, and Mask stumbled off right into a front leg sweep from Ricky Soaring Eagle. Danny stumbles back into the corner, letting the violent duo go at it. RSE manages to plant Rabbit Mask with an Implant DDT off a reversal, but it’s good for barely two. Rabbit Mask is then hooked up for a powerbomb…but Mask rolls through with a sharp hurricarana that smacks Eagle head first against the canvas! Danny sees an opportunity, and hooks the arms of the stumbling Champion…DYNAMITE DRIVER! 1-2-Eagle doesn’t kick out in time-3!
Eliminated in 13:12…Ricky Soaring Eagle!
We will have a new champion regardless at this point, as it’s down to Taylor and Rabbit! Taylor and Rabbit are both shaking the cobwebs as they rise. Mask attempts a spin kick to Taylor, but the big man actually catches it with one hand and shoves Mask back! DDT bounds off the ropes and attempts a clothesline attempt, but Rabbit Mask ducks, bounds up, and drops DDT with a neckbreaker from behind! Mask goes for the cover, but DDT powers out at one. Rabbit Mask unloads with blows to the back of the neck, but Taylor, frustrated, grabs Rabbit Mask and LAUNCHES him into the turnbuckle post, which he hits almost headfirst as he stumbles back into the ring and flops down.
Just then, Ricky Soaring Eagle has begun to recover outside the ring, and flies into a rage! Security in audience is compelled to step away from their posts to ease the now-former Champion to the back. As the referee is distracted by this scene, DDT leans down to pick up the limp Rabbit Mask—and Rabbit SPITS UP THE WHITE MIST DIRECTLY INTO THE FACE OF DDT! Rabbit Mask comes up behind the stunned/blinded DDT, hooks his head under the arm and uses all the leverage available to him…HEAD DROP #2 to the big man, just as the referee turns around! Rabbit shifts into the cover: 1-2-3!
WINNER in 16:19…and NEW Intercontinental Champion…Rabbit Mask!
Rabbit Mask celebrates his dirty victory outside the ring, white still spewing from his mouth like a rabid rabbit as he takes the Intercontinental Championship. Danny sits up and ringside medical staff attends to him as he motions to signal the blindness. The dethroned Eagle almost breaks free of his security at the top of the ramp, but is eventually subdued as Rabbit Mask laughs atop the announce table.
LD Williams vs. CHRIS EVANS – Barbed-Wire Steel Cage Match
The referee calls for the bell and the fans are already worked up into frenzy, while nary a punch has been thrown. Both men start talking trash to each other, and each man seems to be daring the other to throw the punch. LD goes for a handshake, but Evans blows him off. Williams doesn't care much for the lack of respect, and goes right at Evans. They go back and forth, eventually getting knocked to their knees, and eventually each man is throwing repeated haymakers until both finally go down to the mat!
Evans is up first, but LD grabs his trunks and sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. LD goes over and knees Evans in between the shoulder blades, and repeats the move several times. He stands Evans up and sends him across the ring, but Evans reverses, sending LD chest first into the opposite corner. As LD tries to get his wind back, Evans slowly walks over to him, and starts raining down knees.
Evans appears to have a mindset in mind, attacking LD's leg. A minute into the match and LD's face is starting to show signs of bleeding due to the knee strikes. Evans lets out a warrior like yell and the crowd roars in approval. LD takes this chance to crawl over the ropes and recollect himself, but so far, does not seem very impressed. Evans slowly walks towards him, but LD shows his veteran experience by going for an eye rake. LD then starts hammering down on Evans, then drags him over to the cage! The crowd cheers for LD as he repeatedly cheese graters Evans on the cage, then slams him forehead first repeatedly into the cage. After the third, Evans finally falls to the mat, and is just completely bloodied, so LD drags him under the bottom rope and to the center of the ring.
Evans is face down, so LD lifts Evans' head and hits repeated cross face forearms, adding more blood to the equation through Evans' nose. LD then shifts to the side and locks in a cross face! Evans is bleeding profusely and stuck in the center of the ring! 10 minutes gone and it might be over already. He’s finally able to get to the ropes, but LD doesn’t break! The referee is there to start and end the match only, so LD doesn’t need to break. Evans screams in pain, nearly tapping, but instead gets a finger to LD's eye, forcing the break.
Evans gets up, and now it’s his turn to inflict some punishment as he hits a chop-block on the leg that he was wotking on at the start of the match. We were not expecting Evans to actually wrestle a fair match, but so far, he is. He then drags LD to the corner, and hits repeated chops to the chest. Next Evans starts to use the dreaded chop/punch combo, alternating each time. He goes for one last punch, but stops and instead decides to flip off Williams. The crowd is riled up by this Evans, who is just soaking it all in.
As Evans goes back in, LD kicks him hard in the stomach, doubling Evans over, and hits a DDT! LD goes for the cover here, and only gets 2.
LD picks up Evans, sends Evans into the corner, and charges with a shoulder to the gut. LD puts Evans in position and sends him over his shoulder for an Exploder Suplex. With Evans down, LD scales the topes and connects with a Top rope elbow drop. LD with the cover, but only gets 2. LD helps Evans up, and turns him for a Dragon Sleeper. Evans immediately turns, relieving the pressure. Both men fight to take advantage of their position, but Evans wins when he hooks LD's leg, and connects with a Regal-Plex! Evans makes the cover and also only gets 2. Evans gets LD up, and runs him across the ring and head first into the cage wall! Evans repeats this on all 4 cage walls 3 times, ending with an overhead belly-to-belly in the center of the ring. Evans covers and just gets 2 once again. As they make it to their feet, LD immediately buries his shoulder into Evans stomach, driving him back into the corner. He connects with repeated left hands, the final one sending Evans over the rope, and right into the barbed-wire! LD suddenly gets an idea, and heads to the opposite corner. LD charges and splashes Evans!
With Evans down, LD goes to work on Evans’ back. Evans is finally able to get a back kick in to create some separation, and heads for the other side of the ring. LD heads over, only to see Evans reaching under the ring apron. Evans pulls his arm out to reveal a steel chair! Evans goes to swing at LD a few times, backing LD into the corner. Evans starts taunting LD, daring him to hit him, but LD kicks the chair out of Evans' hands and across the ring. As Evans goes to get it, LD goes under the ring apron, and pulls out a chair of his own! Evans sees this, and gets an "Oh, shit" look on his face. Both men engage in an impromptu chair fight, with both men appearing to be pretty even-matched, until LD gets in a hard shot, which stuns Evans enough for LD to hit Evans in the stomach with the chair. With Evans down to his knees, LD immediately whacks him with the chair, and it dents upon impact! LD continues to pounds Evans' back with it! Evans attempts to stumble away, but LD catches up to him and nails him again! LD does this around the ring, until Evans goes for the knee again. He wails on LD with a few shots of his own.
Evans then actually tosses the chair aside, deciding that he doesn't actually need a weapon, instead using the chance to lay a few boots into LD.
Evans sends LD into the corner, sits him on the second turnbuckle, putting each of Evans’ legs over the second rope, and hits a step-up enzuguiri. He then locks on a front face lock and drops LD with an elevated DDT. Evans covers but only gets two. Evans is easily up first, sees that LD is still disoriented, and climbs up the side of the cage that is surprisingly not wrapped in barbed wire. He makes the sign of a gun towards his head, signaling that this move will finish LD. Evans goes for a top-rope frog splash...and LD moves! Both men are down, but there’s no count from the referee as he’s under strict orders from GM Selena (read: have there be a winner, or take Chuckles' place, ref dude!) to have a winner.
Evans slowly starts to get up, but LD has recovered, and is holding HDB!!! Apparantly, LD came prepared. LD buries the bat, into Evans' stomach, and then, in a nod to his kz partner, locks on the JI-ENDO, using the barbed-wire bat as leverage!!! Evans is trapped! Evans resists tapping, and is somehow able to make it to his knees and then his feet, backing LD into the corner. Evans throws LD into the corner three times, but LD won’t break the hold! Evans then turns around with LD still holding him, and leans forward, dropping LD's face into the middle turnbuckle. This forces LD to finally break the hold. The announcers are amazed that we’re now past 35 minutes and both men are still battling it out.
Evans gets to his feet first, and goes back for the chair. LD gets up, and sees Evans coming after him, ducking out of the way of two chair shots. LD grabs HDB. Both men are hesitant to make a move, knowing that each has a weapon. Finally they both start nailing each other with the weapons! The blood is flowing again! After a few good shots shots, they slow down, and are now alternating shots to the head. Evans falls down first, and LD charges in for more. Evans takes LD down, rolls through, and turns LD over in a single-leg Boston Crab! Shades of Lance Storm!
Evans has the crab locked in the center of the ring, and LD is bleeding out like crazy. He slowly pulls himself over to the ropes, and Evan slowly walks them back to the center of the ring. LD screams in pain, and raises his hand to tap, but does not. LD tries to get over to the ropes again, and sees the chair. Evans notices this out of the corner of his eye, and immediately turns this into a properly-done STF, not that shitty one that Cena does. LD again considers tapping, but does not. Evans finally looks to complete the trifecta, moving to a cross face of his own, but LD uses the time spent between moves to get his hand on the chair, and swings his hand back, nearly catching Evans' eye!
We’ve past the 45 minute mark when LD ascends the turnbuckle after sending Evans into the corner. He then places the chair on top of Evans, and hits a leg drop, which Evans barely kicks out of.
LD goes to the top rope, but Evans was playing possum, and crotches LD on the ropes. Evans goes for a top-rope hurricarana, but LD is able to counter mid-move. He gets Evans into position for the Canadian Destroyer off the top rope by placing Evans' feet on the middle rope, but LD's blood gets in his eyes. Evans takes the opportunity to hit LD with a flurry of hard elbow shots to the stomach, and then prepares LD for a top-rope Superplex. But instead he hooks the leg, and HOLY FUCK! Way of the Future small-package Driver off the top rope! Evans is somehow able to not kill himself by doing this, and goes for the cover. 1...2....3! Unbelievable! Chris Evans is the new OOWF World Champion!
WINNER in 48:53, And NEW OOWF World Champion, "Lionheart" Chris Evans.
As the cage raises up, Evans is understandably disoriented, but wastes no time in grabbing the World title, and a microphone.
Evans: You see, you see that?! Yeah, I hear some of you people are actually cheering me right now. You know what?! Fuck you people! Fuck each and every one of you! Nobody believed I could ever do this, not a single damn one of you!
Evans pauses as the boos continue to rain down on him.
Hey, hey Ski Mask Guy. I told you, I told you I'd win. So where are you now, huh? You were talking a bunch of shit to me this week, saying I had no chance, that LD would kick my ass and beat me. Well look who's still standing. Hell, look at this...hey, give me this fucking camera!
Evans shows the footage of the medical team, who is currently treating LD in the ring, checking for any serious injury that could have been caused by taking the top-rope Small Package Driver.
Yeah, you see that? I had you in mind when I did that. The thought of dropping you, and having your vertebrae shatter. Watching your life flash before your eyes. So if you want me so badly, tell you what? How about you drop the pipe, and your balls, and face me in the ring? Not for the title of course, I don't give shots to those who haven't deserved it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a celebration to go to.
Evans tosses the camera back at the cameraman, and heads up the ramp, holding the World championship over his head while the fans throw food, drinks, and whatever else they can find available at him. The final shot is of Chris Evans at the top of the ramp. He turns around, and flips off the crowd. It appears that a new era has just begun.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF Judgment Eve 8 August 25th Live! From Tokyo, Japan. And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! August 1st, Live! From Wakkanai, Japan
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BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. THE DRACULS – Pine Cone Party Likker on a Pole Match
The Draculs, Tavian, Vlad and Radu make their way to the ring and are booed loudly by the crowd. The rules here are simple, there is a jar of pine cone party likker at the top of a pole in one corner. The other three corners have various weapons. If you get the weapons down, you can use them as you see fit. If you get the PCPL down, you can do whatever you want with it. With the Draculs out, Banned From Everywhere are announced next, and Justin Sane and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville ride out on Drunkey and Drunkette while Ellie May From Elijay, still sporting her burlap bag outfit, rides out on her very own likkercicle (for those who don’t know, that is a moped).
They circle the ring, then climb off and get into the ring, where the Draculs immediately attack. Having the numbers advantage, they are able to beat Justin and Bill down to the mat, then the three of them turn their attention to Ellie May. They back her into the corner and taunt her. She shrinks then just before they can hit her, she tells them to look behind them. When they all turn around to look, Ellie May shows some surprising agility and hops to the top rope and quickly climbs the pole, takes the kendo stick from the top and tosses it to Justin.
Justin catches the kendo stick and proceeds to BEAT THE HOLY TAR out of Tavian, Vlad and Radu Dracul. Just knocks Tavian and Vlad out of the ring with shots upside the head, then buries the kendo stick in Radu’s midsection. As the Hungarian gets his breath back and stands up, Bill nearly decapitates him with a MASON-DIXON LINE sending him out of the ring with his brothers.
The Draculs are all trying to get to their feet, inside the ring Bill bends over and grabs the middle rope, Justin gets a running start and screams BUCK BUCK NUMBER ONE! And leaps off Bill’s back and sails over the top rope and takes out all the Dracul’s. Justin grabs Tavian and rolls him into the ring, right into the arms of Awesome Bill. Bill pulls Tavian to his feet and hits him with a series of BIONIC ELBOWS! Justin steps between the ropes, and when Bill hits Tavian with an elbow, he turns to Justin and Justin yells HI-YA and hits him with a karate chop between the eyes. They do this several times before Tavian hits the mat.
While they are beating Tavian to death, Vlad and Radu are climbing for the Pine Cone Party Likker, but Ellie May comes into the ring and grabs their legs and pulls them off the turnbuckle. They land on either side of the turnbuckle and Ellie grabs their heads and gives them a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Vlad and Radu fall off the apron to the floor.
Inside the ring, Tavian hits a low blow on Justin sending him to the mat, then rakes Bill’s eyes. Tavian heads to another corner and climbs the ropes and grabs COOKIE SHEET from the pole. As Bill staggers around for a moment, Tavian leaps off the top rope and WARPS the cookie sheet around Bill’s head. Bill falls to the mat, with the sheet firmly wrapped around his head. Tavian pulls Justin to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big boot to the face. Dracul and Radu get back into the ring and they unleash a beating on Justin and Bill while Ellie May yells for them to get to their feet on the outside. Radu climbs another pole and grabs a steel chain from the pole, wraps it around his fist and catches Justin with a punch to the face that opens him up.
The Draculs gloat and keep Bill and Justin down, then finally turn their attention to the final pole with the Pine Cone Party Likker on it. The three of them head to the corner, but Ellie May gets there first and starts climbing. Vlad and Radu grab her leg and try to pull her down. She turns around and kicks Tavian and Radu in the face, then she leaps off the top rope and snaps Vlad over with a HILLBILLYRANA! Tavian and Radu get to their feet, and Bill grabs a stunned Justin, lifts him over his head, and THROWS HIM AT THE DRACULS! Justin seems a lot surprise by this but gets up, shrugs and hammers Tavian with punches to the head, then whips him at Bill, who scoops him up and hits an AWESOME BOMB!
Justin pummels Radu with karate kicks and chops, then Bill grabs him and whips him into Radu for a SPEAR! On the outside, Vlad is going for a chair when Ellie May races around the ring and leaps at him and traps him in the POSSUM POUCH! (ok I was reaching there, it is Jimmy Jacobs submission move where he leaps at the guy and traps the head, he calls it the End Game, I am sure it has a technical term, and I am sure we can come up with something better than the Possum Pouch). Vlad slumps to his knees! He is OUT! Tavian is still dead from the AWESOME BOMB and Radu is recovering, but then Justin grabs him and PLANTS him with a DDT! Justin gets to his feet and points to the corner, Bill runs to the corner, climbs the ropes and grabs the PCPL!
WINNERS in 13:33 – Banned From Everywhere & Ellie May From Elijay
Bill takes the top off of the PCPL and downs the whole mason jar, his eyes almost immediately glaze over and he falls back into the ring. Ellie May and Justin help him to his feet and load him up on Drunkey, backward of course, and Justin gets on Drunkette while Ellie May fires up the Likkercicle and the trio head to the back to the cheers of the fans.
COMRADE SHARKOFF vs. CROWING – Chain Match
“The Crowing” by Coheed and Cambria plays as Crowing makes his entrance, perched at the top of the ramp and scanning the audience with hand over eyes, Christian-style, before making a sliding entrance under the ring ropes and approaching the referee. The referee carefully attaches one end of the long chain to the wrist of the former Firechild, checking for reasonable mobility. Gorky Park’s “Moscow Calling” heralds the entrance of the ideological spawn of Mother Russia and Father Time, Comrade Sharkoff. He glares at the hipster in front with the “Tito Was Right” sign, and storms up the stairs, taking the chain around the wrist and demanding the bell before the referee can check Sharkoff’s mobility.
Sharkoff is obliged, and he immediately charges Crowing with some force, yet the technician in Crowing manages to shift the momentum into a normal lockup. Crowing shifts into a textbook armbar, really tweaking Sharkoff’s 16-inch sickle (no, not that one), but Sharkoff wraps the chain around his hand and smacks it back into the head of Crowing, breaking the hold and reminding the smaller man that technical prowess alone will not get him by in this match. Crowing dodges the second chain-assisted fist attempt from Sharkoff, catching Sharkoff with an elbow to the back of the head. Swinging the chain around Sharkoff’s front, Crowing executes a textbook back neckbreaker that pulls the chain across the neck of Sharkoff! Crowing goes for a quick cover, but Sharkoff powers out at one. Crowing hooks Sharkoff up for a snap suplex after a chain shot to the gut: one execution, roll the hips…two executions, roll the hips…however, Crowing’s legs are briefly entangled in the chain, and Sharkoff yanks the chain to trip Crowing up before dropping an elbow across the chest.
More brawling ensues from the two, with Crowing attempting to shift to mat wrestling whenever possible, and Sharkoff resorting to the chain rather than engaging. Crowing gets the advantage following a knee to Sharkoff’s head, and goes to the top rope for a plancha…but Sharkoff yanks him off early and he faceplants! Sharkoff has wrapped the chain around Crowing’s neck…and he heaves him over the ropes! Crowing is hanging as though from a noose! Crowing attempts to regain his footing on the apron to regain circulation, but a hard boot from Sharkoff punts him right back off again! Crowing is flailing as the chain squeezes tighter, but he eventually grabs onto the middle rope, pulls himself up and back over the ropes. Sharkoff attempts to lariat him right back over, but Crowing retains the presence of mind to chopblock Sharkoff. Crowing wraps the chain around Sharkoff’s throat himself, attempting to turn the tables as he pulls tightly, but Sharkoff smartly drops down with a jawbreaker of sorts that drives Crowing’s face into the chain.
Quickly whipping the chain off his own neck, Sharkoff steadies his assisted fist, and clocks Crowing right between the eyes! Crowing goes down, bleeding from the nose slightly, and Sharkoff gets a sick look in his eyes. He wraps the chain around the neck of Crowing twice, adjusting his opponent’s body slightly before rolling out of the ring and standing by the turnbuckle post. Sharkoff pulls sudden and hard, almost running, to yank Crowing neck-first into the turnbuckle post, as Crowing’s head and neck SMACK against the post in a sick fashion! To the fans in the more distant seats, it looks as though Crowing’s neck has just snapped—not the case, but serious damage has clearly been done as Crowing lies motionless on the mat outside.
A flash of concern comes across the Comrade’s face, but dismissing it, Sharkoff rolls Crowing back into the ring and goes for the cover. It’s not even contested: 1-2-3.
WINNER in 12:53…Comrade Sharkoff.
Sharkoff steps back as the ringside medical staff go in to check on Crowing, only posing for a moment to boos before making his exit. Crowing is immediately moved onto a stretcher with a neckbrace, though it’s not clear at this point whether the brace is merely precautionary or a sign of serious injury. Regardless, Crowing flips the “Thumbs Up” to the crowd, causing a cheer to erupt from the concerned fans.
EL LOBO SANGRIENTO vs. MATT FOLZ – Submission Match
El Lobo Sangriento makes his entrance to "Joker and the Thief." He gets lots of cheers for his recent faciness. Folz comes out to "Battle without Honor or Humanity" to a mixed reaction, as folks are still not sure where he is. He takes his towel and water bottle and puts it near the corner on the floor, which is new and different and I'm really sure will not come into play later at all. But they appreciate that he seems to have stepped up his game recently. Since this is a submission match we probably won't see a lot of high flying. Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell, and here we go.
Lobo goes right for the legs with a low tackle. He catches Folz just a bit off guard and knocks him over, but can't get any kind of lock on it. Folz rains elbows down on Lobo's back so he has to retreat a bit. Both men are on one knee already, and Folz lets go with a bitchslap from Hell, knocking Lobo over. Folz leaps on him to try and capitalize, but can't really get the ankle lock. Lobo rolls and kicks Folz off. Folz hits the ropes as Lobo stands, and flies out with a clothesline. He pulls Lobo up and gets a T-Bone suplex. Out of habit he floats over for a pin, but that's not going to work here, and not only because Lobo kicks out at barely the one-count. Folz backs up a bit, but not much, grabbing Lobo from behind into a Tazzmission. He puts the pressure on, and Lobo struggles a bit. It's still early, but Folz is not giving up. Lobo is able to squirm around a bit, getting to one foot, then the next, bringing Folz up with him. It looks like Folz is going to try for another suplex, but Lobo drops his center of gravity enough to resist. He also is able to fire an elbow or three back into Folz's ribs. Folz releases, and Lobo is able to spin around and get Folz into a Full Nelson. He turns that into a Full Nelson slam, and then puts the boots to Folz to keep him grounded. They're pretty close to the ropes though and Folz grabs on like his life depended on it. Lobo backs off, since he IS a face and all that.
Folz gets to his feet, although outside the ropes. Lobo believes that's good enough, as he's a face but not an idiot. Lobo hits the ropes, and then flying shoulder blocks Folz onto the floor. He runs back again and TOPE CON HILO! Both men crash to the floor, and slowly get to their feet. Folz grabs Lobo and whips him into the ring post. Lobo bounces off and Folz goes to throw him to the far post, but Lobo reverses and Folz hits the steps instead. A small cut opens on Folz's forehead, but that's nothing compared to the cut on his lip. He may have caught more of that with his face than intended. Folz wipes his mouth, and smiles. Junior Hale has started a count but is only at three. Lobo rolls in, and is soon followed by Folz, but he doesn't let Folz get too far before he puts a few stomps to him. Folz still works his way up to his feet, slowly and a bit of a hockey fight breaks out. Lobo launches a right haymaker, but Folz ducks it and hits a Fisherman's Suplex. He again goes for the Ankle Lock, and gets it locked in this time. Folz cranks it in good, and Lobo does the streeeeeeeeeetch out for the ropes. Will he reach it?
He crawls...slowly...one....hand....at....a....time....streeeeeetch. He's so close! But no! Folz pulls him back. And we start the process all over again. Lobo crawls...stretches. Crawls...stretches. Crawls...stretches...and he GRABS IT! The crowd cheers. They're cheering so loudly that Folz apparently doesn't hear that Hale is counting, until Hale gets almost to five. Folz drops the foot, and Lobo rubs it a bit, trying to get some feeling back into. Folz again wipes his mouth, smearing blood on his elbow pad. He charges and Lobo catches him with a boot to the midsection, setting up for double underhook suplex. Folz flies across the ring and lands hard, but before Lobo can capitalize, Folz slides out. He walks around the ring rubbing the blood from his lip, trying to collect his thoughts or something. Hale starts the count as Folz checks his elbow pad and sees the blood on it. He walks around to where his water bottle and towel are, dumps the liquid inside onto the towel and cleans his elbow pad off. Odd. He rolls back in the ring just as Hale gets to "seven." Lobo is tired of this and goes to charge in, but Folz has him scouted and drops down for a toe hold. He works his way around and cinches Lobo in to the STF! He cranks down tightly and Lobo squirms frantically...for a bit. Folz holds on tight, keeping Lobo's face in the crook of his elbow. Lobo squirms, but a little less frantically. Finally...Lobo seems like he's out. Hale goes over and begins the arm raise...one.....Lobo's arm drops. Two...Lobo's arm drops again. No one is surprised by this. Hale lifts the arm again and....THREE! Lobo's arm drops like a stone. He is OUT folks. Hale calls for the bell.
WINNER in 21:11 – Matt Folz
After the match, Lobo lays unconscious on the mat. Folz rolls out after demanding Hale raise his arm, grabs his towel and water bottle and goes up the ramp. After several long, tense moments, and a visit from the medical staff, Lobo finally begins to wake up, coughing, and having no idea where he is or what happened. They get him to his feet, and help him to the back.
STANK & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. POWER & GLORY – Texas Tornado Match[/u]
Nonpoint's Skin blasts from the speakers and the Grand Slam Champion Stank emerges from the curtains accompanied by his handicap, Attitude Adjuster, who walks along the ramp and around the ring kissing hands and shaking babies...because he gets confused like that. He goes over to the announce table and tells the announce team they cannot make fun of him, because that would be abuse, of, announcer. Stank finally tires of the antics of AA and tells him to get into the ring.
It's the most business like entrance from Wyatt Cox and Power and Glory as Two Steps from Hell's Fortress of Seduction fires up and Wyatt comes out in his sparkly red suit carrying his Halliburton and the ladies are wearing all black with their pink collars. They look up into the upper balcony to see the fans from Ely cheering them and holding up “We love P&G” signs. Wyatt and the twins wave before putting on their game faces and head down the ramp. They stop at the bottom of the ramp to examine the situation, and Wyatt directs them to enter the ring from adjacent corners. Stank stands with his back to the far corner and AA stands behind him jabbering and pointing his fingers at the Twins.
Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell, as Power squares off with Stank and Attitude Adjuster locks up with Glory at the opening. Power and Stank try to force the other into the corner while Glory gets AA into the ropes and tries to whip him across the ring but AA reverses and Glory ends up falling awkwardly through the ropes. Wyatt goes over to help his charge to her feet and makes an adjustment to Glory's kneepad. He whispers instructions into her ear and she gets back up. Meanwhile AA has gone over to help Stank force Power into the corner and the two are throwing chops into Power's chest as the fans WHOO! Glory runs to AA, grabs him and whips him into the ropes, and delivers a picture perfect Harley Race high knee to the head and AA drops like he was shot. Glory backs into the corner opposite Power and Stank and runs toward them and delivers a knee to the small of the back that drops Stank to one knee.
Power and Glory roll out of the ring and reach in to grab Stank's legs and proceed to post the big man. As Junior Hale warns the twins Wyatt Cox runs to the other side of the ring where AA is stirring and delivers a Halliburton shot to the head and AA falls again. Glory sees this and rolls into the ring to try the pin on AA, but she only gets a two count. Glory begins choking AA which draws a warning from the referee, but as Junior Hale is occupied with this, Power is torquing Stank's bad knee on the ring post, and Wyatt delivers a couple of Halliburton shots to the knee while it is stretched. That's guaranteed to slow the big man.
As Stank rolls back into the ring, Power heads to the top rope as Glory grabs the bad wheel of Stank and Power delivers a kneedrop to the thigh that further slows the Grand Slam Winner.
Power turns Stank over and locks in the Reverse Indian Death Lock trying to get a submission win, while Glory locks in the standing Katahaijime on AA. As Power leans back to torque the hold she gets a little too close to Stank who locks on a Chinlock that starts twisting Power's leg. The pain gets to be too intense for Power who releases the hold and Stank pulls Power into a Dragon Sleeper while he kicks the mat to try to get the blood flowing back to his legs. Meanwhile AA reaches back and grabs Glory's hair and drops down, jacking her jaw in the process. Both go down hard. Stank tries to pull Power in tighter but she manages to reach the ropes with her legs.
Stank reaches down to slap his legs to get some feeling into them while Wyatt pulls Power out of the ring and pours Deja Blue over her head to bring her around. Sensing that an early endgame might be in order, Wyatt sends Power to pull up AA and sets him on the top rope and pulls AA up for the Superplex. Glory follows with a Shooting Star Press to complete the Twin Plex, but Stank limps in to pull Glory off AA and throw her out of the ring! Stank explodes with clotheslines, spears, and finally picks up Power for an Oklahoma Slam....
...when there's a huge commotion at ringside as THE REAL JOHNNY ADRENALINE AND FF CAPSLOCK appear! Stank drops Power and walks over along with AA to jaw jack with their former partners in the Chickenshit Heels and Drink and Destroy, which gives Power and Glory time to regroup as Glory dropkicks AA out of the ring and Power picks up the big man for a TIGER SUPLEX! Power holds the bridge for a 1-2-3, and an upset! The rookie has pinned one of the elite Grand Slam Champs!
WINNERS in 22:44 – Power and Glory.
Wyatt and the Twins beat a hasty retreat, while the jaw jacking continues at ringside which only serves to blow up again when Johnny Adrenaline points out to AA that they lost to a team of girls...
THE FLYIN HAWAIIANS vs. THE HOLY SPIRIT SQUAD– What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas Match
Hero blares from the speakers as Stan Fulton and Mai Muyo make their way to ringside. Mai skips happily around the ring as Stan strolls to join her. They stay at ringside and await their opposition.
Vertigo plays and Noleani appears on stage doing her little intro dance. Stan and Mai walk to the end of the ramp waiting for Kai and Aina, when the Hawaii’ans blitz them from behind! Kai tosses Mai into the barricade and he and Aina begin wailing on Stan. Fulton tosses Aina away and backdrops Kai into the crowd. Mai hits a Thesz Press on Aina and begins to pound on him with her fists. Noleani comes up behind her and pulls Mai’s hair yanking her head back and causing Mai to stand up. She walks up to Noleani and stares at her silently for a few moments with an eerie grin, then pulls her close and bends down and kisses he stomach! Noleani screams, and Aina comes running up and spears Mai to the stage.
Fulton has followed Kai into the crowd. A fan hands him a beer and he blasts Kai in the face with it. Kai stumbles back into a child’s lap. He grabs the kids OOWF Replica Toy World Title Belt (Now 15% off at OOWFshop.com!) and charges Stan, nailing him in the face. Stan shakes the attack off pretty easily, but then eats an enziguri from Kai and falls into the aisle way. Kai grabs a chair and beckons Crusher to stand back up. As he does, Kai blasts him in the back with the chair. Stan staggers up the aisle, Kai following and nailing him with the chair every few feet.
Aina, has drug Mai backstage and out into the parking garage, pelting her with various weapons along the way. He whips Mai into a sports car and she slumps to the ground. Aina opens the door (because random cars are clearly left unlocked) and tosses her in the passenger seat. Aina climbs in and DRIVES OFF WITH MAI!
Fulton has staggered his way to the arena concourse, with Kai still in pursuit. Kai swings the chair once again, but Fulton ducks and the chair CLANGS against a pillar. Fulton kicks Kai and tosses him into the concession stand! Popcorn and nachos fly everywhere, and Kai stands up, partially covered in the stuff. Kai grabs the soda nozzle and sprays it at Fulton, giving him the chance to jump out of the stand and dive at Crusher. Fulton catches him and hits a Back Cut Slam on the Floor! Stan grabs Kai and throws him into the glass doors, knocking one totally off the hinges and sending Kai outside onto the concrete. Fulton Drags Kai up the sidewalk to the crosswalk heading to a parking lot across the street. He bangs Kai’s head into a light pole a couple of times, when Aina speeds by in the sports car. The passenger door opens up, and without slowing down, Mai gets pushed out of the moving vehicle! She rolls across the asphalt and sprawls in the gutter at Stan’s feet, covered now in scrapes, cuts and blood. A SCREECHING of brakes is heard, and Aina runs out. Stan Tosses Kai to the ground and rushes across the street at Aina, they begin potatoing each other, and each man soon has a swollen eye and cheek. Fulton chases Aina down the street.
Mai and Kai both get to their feet and take off after their partners… but they’re going the wrong way! She tosses Kai into a wall and throws a newspaper machine at him. The THUMP shakes the cameraman and he stumbles to his feet, So all we see is a street level view of Mai dragging Kai through a nearby set of doors.
Aina is seen throwing Crusher through the doors of a hotel. Aina decks the concierge and tries to whip Fulton into the check-in desk. Fulton rotates, and sends Aina sprawling through some double doors and into the casino. Aina crashes into a roulette wheel and hits the floor. Stan grabs him and presses him high overhead and THROUGH a blackjack table! Cards, chips and people scatter everywhere
In the arena, a Holy Shit chant breaks out, as the crowd is watching on the Jumbo Tron, split screen style. They can see the other camera has caught up with Mai inside the Fools Rush In Wedding Chapel! She has Kai on his knees and is wailing on him with a chair. The Elvis impersonator appears singing on a microphone. Mai drags Kai up to the altar and props him up. The Elvis impersonator begins his ceremony and we head Mai say “I Do” Kai shakes the cobwebs loose, then looks around and realizes where he is. He takes off running, trips over the microphone cord and crashes into a floral display… that was hiding the sound equipment! Kai hits a speaker hard and stumbles over to the reception table. Mai is waiting for him and smashes his head into the wedding cake! She pulls him onto the table, climbs up and hits the End-is-Here THROUGH THE TABLE! She covers him and a referee appears.
At the same time, Fulton and Aina are taking turns putting each other through slot machines. Aina blocks an attempt and DDT’s Fulton on the floor. He grabs a chip tray from a pit boss and smashes it against the machine, giving him a nice jagged edge to work with. He plunges it into Crusher’s forehead, then Lifts Stan onto a Craps table and hits him with the rake a few times. Aina climbs onto the table next to it and gets a running start… RUNNING SENTON! The table crashes and Aina makes a cover. Another referee appears out of nowhere.
Back in the arena, the crowd is going nuts with the wild action. They count along with both referees at the same time 1….2…..3! The Bell rings, both referees raise the hand, but the official announcement is made in the arena,
DECISION; in 15:42; a Draw.
The four combatants slowly get to their feet, as OOWF officials swarm both locations, checking on the wrestlers and opening their checkbooks.
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. GHOSTHEAD – Title vs. Title Last Man Standing Match
The rules for this match are very simple:
1. There are no countouts
2. There are no submissions
3. There are no pinfalls
4. There are no disqualifications
5. The last man standing, the one who cannot get to his feet before the referee counts ten, will be declared the winner
“My Ruin” by Sevendust plays and the OOWF Onslaught champion Ghosthead makes his way to the ring. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction. On one hand he is Stank’s brother, and he is facing Moose. On the other……they really don’t like him all that much. Ghost ignores them and walks to the ring, hands his title to the referee and waits in the corner.
“Scarecrow” plays, and there is no mixed reaction here. The crowd nearly boos Moose out of the building. He sneers at some of them, but mostly ignores them. Moose rolls into the ring, slumps in the corner, then slides his DDT title across the ring to the referee. The ref picks up the title, holds both of them in the air and calls for the bell.
Moose remains in the corner, just staring at Ghosthead. Ghost moves to the middle of the ring and dares Moose to get to his feet, but Moose remains where he is. The crowd starts to boo loudly, and finally Ghost charges into the corner, but Moose drops to the mat and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor. Ghost stops short of hitting the turnbuckle, but from outside the ring, Moose grabs his leg and takes him to the mat, then slams his knee into the ringpost. Ghost grabs his leg and drags himself back into the middle of the ring.
Moose climbs back into the ring and grabs Ghost’s leg and starts to work the knee, but when he goes for a figure four leglock, Ghost repeatedly kicks him in the face with his feet leg, splitting Moose’s lip open and drawing a stream of blood. One of the kicks knocks Moose a little goofy and he staggers away. Ghost gets to his feet and lifts Moose from behind and drops him on the back of his head with a belly to back suplex. Ghost gets to his feet but doesn’t even waste his time with a ten count as Moose is on his hands and knees after only about two.
Ghost charges and catches Moose with a kick to the mouth that sends him rolling out of the ring to the floor. Ghost gets a running start and dives over the top rope and lands right on Moose. Ghost gives Jack no time to catch his breath, lifting him for another belly to back suplex, but crotching him on the guard rail. Ghost climbs onto the apron, gets a running start and leaps off, catching Moose with a kick to the face that sends him into the crowd.
Ghost reaches over the guardrail and pulls Moose over, keeps him in a front face lock, then PLANTS him on the floor with a DDT! Moose appears to be out cold! Ghost gets to his feet and rolls into the ring and barks at the referee to start the ten count.
Moose somehow manages to pull himself up and roll back into the ring before the ten count. Ghost just watches as he pulls himself up in the corner, then charges in and catches him with a big corner splash. Moose staggers out of the corner and Ghost grabs him from behind and hits a German suplex into the buckle. Ghost hesitates for a second, then as Moose gets up in the corner again, he charges in, but Moose moves out of the way, and as Ghost staggers backward, Moose hits him with a discus clothesline that nearly takes his head off.
Moose snarls and hammers Ghost with punches to the face, then pulls him up and whips him into the corner. Ghost slams sternum first into the corner, and Moose follows him in with a knee to the back of the head. Jack grabs Ghost and sets him on the top rope and climbs up after him and connects with a top rope Olympic slam. Ghost hits the mat hard and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor. Moose steps back and tells the referee to count, and he makes it to eight before Ghost starts to pull himself into the ring. Moose charges down the apron and catches Ghost with a knee to the temple that sends him back to the floor.
Moose leaves the ring and grabs Ghost and rolls him into the ring and tries a piledriver, but Ghost back drops out of it. Moose tries to pull Ghost up again, but Ghost takes him to the mat and hammers him on the face with repeated forearm smashes, the referee looks like he may step in and stop the match when Moose catches Ghost’s arm and traps him in a sort of anaconda vice, but has no leverage to really apply the hold properly. The two of them roll around the mat, punching and goughing trying to get the advantage.
The match continues on for over thirty minutes, with both Moose and Ghost throwing everything they have at one another. The match has been surprisingly clean given the participants. Ghost has dropped Moose on his head numerous times, working on his neck, perhaps trying to be the second Mann to break Moose’s neck. Moose has worked over Ghosts knee with a variety of kneebreakers and submission moves – even though submissions don’t matter. Ghost is not nearly so fast to get to his feet anymore, while Moose looks a little dazed and glassy eyed. Both men are bleeding from various punches to the head.
Ghost catches Moose with a spinning heel kick, but tweaks his knee somewhat and falls to the mat grabbing his knee in pain. Moose pulls him up and Moose catches him with a jawbreaker. Ghost grabs Moose and pulls him up for a suplex, but his knee buckles and he drops Moose to the mat. Moose tries for a spinning elbow to the head, but Ghost ducks and catches him with a punch to the throat that sends Moose staggering to the corner. Ghost lifts Moose onto the top rope and climbs up for a superplex, then lifts him onto his shoulders for what appears to be his version of a STANK-U!
Before he can hit the move, Stank comes down from the back and yells at Ghost. Before history can potentially repeat itself, Moose slips out of the hold and grabs Ghost and hits something like a bulldog off the top rope driving them both through the Chilean Announce Table! Stank just stands there and stares, slowly shaking his head. Officials come out and the referee starts something of a hasty ten count, counting both men down in about six seconds.
WINNER – No Contest in 35:55
Ghost and Moose are both back to their feet rather quickly and look surprised that the match is over. Ghost realizes what happens and walks up to his brother and just stares at him. Stank tries to explain, but Ghost walks past him to the back without a word. Moose gets into an animated argument with a ringside fan, then grabs the DDT title, holding the back of his head and walks up to Stank, grinning like a madman. Moose walks past him and heads up the back, Stank just turns and watches him go. The camera goes back to Moose, who points to his bloody taped fist where LQ is crossed out and PT is still visible. “Tonight Lisa…….tonight.” Stank shakes his head and follows Moose up the ramp to the back.
PHOENIX RISING vs. TEXPRESS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Strap Match
The Tag Team Championships are on the line next. Texexpress are announced first, and come to the ring to massive cheers from the crowd. Phoenix Rising are announced next, to an equally massive pop. Two of the best teams of the Tag Division match up tonight, and the crowd knows it. The ref has the straps and starts by attaching one to Chad Madison. Chad grabs the other end and heads over to attach it to Firewoman, Alex cuts him off, attaching it to his own wrist. Chad frowns a little at this, but both Firewoman and Zane seem slightly amused by it. Zane and Fire are strapped together, and the ref takes the Titles and holds them high before removing them from the ring. We get some quick handshakes from all four members, and then the bell rings and this one is underway.
No one wastes time feeling out in this one, as Chad and Alex are quickly slugging it out. Firewoman has the speed advantage over the larger Zane, and is able to rush in with a combo of kicks and chops to put him on the defense. This isn't the Texans first rodeo however, and Zane bides his time until he is able to catch one of her legs. Fire attempts an Enziguri to counter, but Zane ducks it, and pulls on the strap throwing off Fire's landing causing her to crash to the mat. Meanwhile Alex gets the upper hand in his slugfest with Chad, and catches Fire's fall out of the corner of his eye. As Zane is attempting to pick Firewoman up, Alex rushes over and levels him with a clothesline. Fire and Alex lock eyes, and Alex motions for them to switch dance partners. Fire heads over to lock up with Chad, as Alex starts to lift the big Zane off of the mat.
Zane is not as out of it as Alex was expecting however, and he catches Alex off guard with a surprise spinebuster. Firewoman is able to send Chad to the mat with a dropkick, and she attempts a pin at the same time Zane tries for one on Alex. The ref is unsure of whom to make the count for, but it ends up not mattering as both men kick out at what would have been a one. All this swapping around has caused the straps to get slightly tangled, and as Zane tries to straighten his out, Firewoman takes advantage. Looping her strap over, she runs for a leaping clothesline that tumbles both her and Zane out of the ring.
This also pulls both Chad and Alex directly into each others path, and Chad capitalizes with a snap hurricanrana that sends them tumbling out of the ring as well. The next several minutes sees a lot of attempts from all four wrestlers to return to the ring only to be pulled back out due to various strap related shenanigans. Finally the straps manage to untangle, and we end up with Fire and Zane on one side of the ring, and Alex and Chad on the other.
Zane and Alex slide into the ring, and both seem to have the same thought in mind. They each grab their straps and yank hoping to pull their respective opponents into the side of the ring. Chad is caught by this tactic, but Fire sees it coming and leaps up onto the apron avoiding it. Zane rushes in for a big boot, but Fire ducks and he ends up crotching himself on the ropes. Somewhere in the back Bridgett has to be cringing at that one. Alex takes advantage, grabbing the larger Zane and dropping him with a back suplex. However, this has given Chad time to catch his breath, and he is in to break up the follow up pinfall attempt. We get several more minutes of back and forth with both teams trying to find ways to use the straps to assist in moves only to be countered by the opposing team. The crowd continues to get amped up as these two teams tear down the house. Finally, Phoenix Rising gets a slight edge after stereo superkicks send Zane crashing to the mat. Darling follows up with a snap powerslam on Chad, and motions for Firewoman to head to the top rope.
At this point, Moosehead Jack's music hits, and we walks out onto the stage smirking. Firewoman turns her head distracted by this, and a recovered Zane takes advantage, pulling the strap and sending Firewoman tumbling off the top rope. Alexander heads over to check on her, but Chad is back on his feet. He wraps the strap around Darling, pulling him back into a strap assisted bridging german suplex.
One...
Two...
Firewoman tries to get in to break it up, but Zane cuts her off.
Three.
WINNERS in 32:02 via pinfall and new OOWF Tag Team Champions Chad Madison and Zane Meyers the Texpress
DYNAMITE” DANNY TAYLOR vs. RICKY SOARING EAGLE vs. RABBIT MASK – OOWF Intercontinental Championship Match, Elimination Rules
“Another Me” plays over the PA system as Rabbit Mask creeps down the ramp and enters the ring, the enigmatic wrestler carefully surveying his surroundings as he slinks in through the ropes. Next, the first couple bars of “Boom” by POD play, and the audience’s cheers overwhelm the already-loud rock music as “Dynamite” Danny Taylor makes his entrance. He looks into the side camera, mouths “Boom” and storms down the ramp, coming nose-to-nose with Rabbit Mask…well, chest-to-nose, given the height difference. Finally, the Intercontinental Champion, Ricky Soaring Eagle enters to “Run For The Hill” with all the mirth and swagger befitting a champion…just kidding, he looks pissed off as usual, as he chucks the championship to the referee and goes down to a stalking position in the corner as the bell rings.
The three men circle at first, but Ricky Soaring Eagle, not known for his patience and calm, swiftly kicks Rabbit Mask in the face and leaps on top of Danny with a Lou Thesz Press. Ricky is unloading with blows to the face of The Silent Giant, who shoves Ricky off and hooks him into an armbar. Rabbit Mask, with a bit of thought given to strategy, bounds off the ropes and dropkicks the restrained Ricky in the face. Having broken the hold, Rabbit leaps on Danny with a front facelock and unloads with elbows to the back of the head and neck—RM’s typical MO—but Danny spins Rabbit up and around, looking for an overhead suplex…but Rabbit Mask uses his athleticism to flip off and land on his feet! As he sizes up Danny for a kick, however, Ricky Soaring Eagle comes up from behind him and throws him with a release German Suplex! Danny rushes Eagle with a lariat attempt—Eagle ducks and DDT ends up clotheslining Rabbit Mask over the ropes to the floor below! Danny doesn’t seem to mind the change of target, until he turns around right into a SPEAR from the Native Threat! The Intercontinental Champion goes for a cover, but Danny kicks out at two.
Ricky attempts a neck vice of sorts, trying to ground Danny and pick up where Rabbit Mask left off. DDT grabs at the ropes, but when Ricky doesn’t immediately release, Taylor uses the ropes’ leverage to twist out and headbutt Eagle in the gut. Danny winces from tweaking his neck, but manages to knee Ricky again in the gut, and hook him up—with some effort—for a big powerslam! Danny goes for the cover, not noticing Rabbit Mask up on the top rope…Rabbit Mask leaps off with a leg drop to the back of Danny’s neck! Danny rolls off in pain, as Rabbit Mask stalks him before pulling in to attempt a Head Drop #1 or #4…but Mask can’t get the leverage he needs before Danny nails him in the gut with another sharp knee, and Mask stumbled off right into a front leg sweep from Ricky Soaring Eagle. Danny stumbles back into the corner, letting the violent duo go at it. RSE manages to plant Rabbit Mask with an Implant DDT off a reversal, but it’s good for barely two. Rabbit Mask is then hooked up for a powerbomb…but Mask rolls through with a sharp hurricarana that smacks Eagle head first against the canvas! Danny sees an opportunity, and hooks the arms of the stumbling Champion…DYNAMITE DRIVER! 1-2-Eagle doesn’t kick out in time-3!
Eliminated in 13:12…Ricky Soaring Eagle!
We will have a new champion regardless at this point, as it’s down to Taylor and Rabbit! Taylor and Rabbit are both shaking the cobwebs as they rise. Mask attempts a spin kick to Taylor, but the big man actually catches it with one hand and shoves Mask back! DDT bounds off the ropes and attempts a clothesline attempt, but Rabbit Mask ducks, bounds up, and drops DDT with a neckbreaker from behind! Mask goes for the cover, but DDT powers out at one. Rabbit Mask unloads with blows to the back of the neck, but Taylor, frustrated, grabs Rabbit Mask and LAUNCHES him into the turnbuckle post, which he hits almost headfirst as he stumbles back into the ring and flops down.
Just then, Ricky Soaring Eagle has begun to recover outside the ring, and flies into a rage! Security in audience is compelled to step away from their posts to ease the now-former Champion to the back. As the referee is distracted by this scene, DDT leans down to pick up the limp Rabbit Mask—and Rabbit SPITS UP THE WHITE MIST DIRECTLY INTO THE FACE OF DDT! Rabbit Mask comes up behind the stunned/blinded DDT, hooks his head under the arm and uses all the leverage available to him…HEAD DROP #2 to the big man, just as the referee turns around! Rabbit shifts into the cover: 1-2-3!
WINNER in 16:19…and NEW Intercontinental Champion…Rabbit Mask!
Rabbit Mask celebrates his dirty victory outside the ring, white still spewing from his mouth like a rabid rabbit as he takes the Intercontinental Championship. Danny sits up and ringside medical staff attends to him as he motions to signal the blindness. The dethroned Eagle almost breaks free of his security at the top of the ramp, but is eventually subdued as Rabbit Mask laughs atop the announce table.
LD Williams vs. CHRIS EVANS – Barbed-Wire Steel Cage Match
The referee calls for the bell and the fans are already worked up into frenzy, while nary a punch has been thrown. Both men start talking trash to each other, and each man seems to be daring the other to throw the punch. LD goes for a handshake, but Evans blows him off. Williams doesn't care much for the lack of respect, and goes right at Evans. They go back and forth, eventually getting knocked to their knees, and eventually each man is throwing repeated haymakers until both finally go down to the mat!
Evans is up first, but LD grabs his trunks and sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. LD goes over and knees Evans in between the shoulder blades, and repeats the move several times. He stands Evans up and sends him across the ring, but Evans reverses, sending LD chest first into the opposite corner. As LD tries to get his wind back, Evans slowly walks over to him, and starts raining down knees.
Evans appears to have a mindset in mind, attacking LD's leg. A minute into the match and LD's face is starting to show signs of bleeding due to the knee strikes. Evans lets out a warrior like yell and the crowd roars in approval. LD takes this chance to crawl over the ropes and recollect himself, but so far, does not seem very impressed. Evans slowly walks towards him, but LD shows his veteran experience by going for an eye rake. LD then starts hammering down on Evans, then drags him over to the cage! The crowd cheers for LD as he repeatedly cheese graters Evans on the cage, then slams him forehead first repeatedly into the cage. After the third, Evans finally falls to the mat, and is just completely bloodied, so LD drags him under the bottom rope and to the center of the ring.
Evans is face down, so LD lifts Evans' head and hits repeated cross face forearms, adding more blood to the equation through Evans' nose. LD then shifts to the side and locks in a cross face! Evans is bleeding profusely and stuck in the center of the ring! 10 minutes gone and it might be over already. He’s finally able to get to the ropes, but LD doesn’t break! The referee is there to start and end the match only, so LD doesn’t need to break. Evans screams in pain, nearly tapping, but instead gets a finger to LD's eye, forcing the break.
Evans gets up, and now it’s his turn to inflict some punishment as he hits a chop-block on the leg that he was wotking on at the start of the match. We were not expecting Evans to actually wrestle a fair match, but so far, he is. He then drags LD to the corner, and hits repeated chops to the chest. Next Evans starts to use the dreaded chop/punch combo, alternating each time. He goes for one last punch, but stops and instead decides to flip off Williams. The crowd is riled up by this Evans, who is just soaking it all in.
As Evans goes back in, LD kicks him hard in the stomach, doubling Evans over, and hits a DDT! LD goes for the cover here, and only gets 2.
LD picks up Evans, sends Evans into the corner, and charges with a shoulder to the gut. LD puts Evans in position and sends him over his shoulder for an Exploder Suplex. With Evans down, LD scales the topes and connects with a Top rope elbow drop. LD with the cover, but only gets 2. LD helps Evans up, and turns him for a Dragon Sleeper. Evans immediately turns, relieving the pressure. Both men fight to take advantage of their position, but Evans wins when he hooks LD's leg, and connects with a Regal-Plex! Evans makes the cover and also only gets 2. Evans gets LD up, and runs him across the ring and head first into the cage wall! Evans repeats this on all 4 cage walls 3 times, ending with an overhead belly-to-belly in the center of the ring. Evans covers and just gets 2 once again. As they make it to their feet, LD immediately buries his shoulder into Evans stomach, driving him back into the corner. He connects with repeated left hands, the final one sending Evans over the rope, and right into the barbed-wire! LD suddenly gets an idea, and heads to the opposite corner. LD charges and splashes Evans!
With Evans down, LD goes to work on Evans’ back. Evans is finally able to get a back kick in to create some separation, and heads for the other side of the ring. LD heads over, only to see Evans reaching under the ring apron. Evans pulls his arm out to reveal a steel chair! Evans goes to swing at LD a few times, backing LD into the corner. Evans starts taunting LD, daring him to hit him, but LD kicks the chair out of Evans' hands and across the ring. As Evans goes to get it, LD goes under the ring apron, and pulls out a chair of his own! Evans sees this, and gets an "Oh, shit" look on his face. Both men engage in an impromptu chair fight, with both men appearing to be pretty even-matched, until LD gets in a hard shot, which stuns Evans enough for LD to hit Evans in the stomach with the chair. With Evans down to his knees, LD immediately whacks him with the chair, and it dents upon impact! LD continues to pounds Evans' back with it! Evans attempts to stumble away, but LD catches up to him and nails him again! LD does this around the ring, until Evans goes for the knee again. He wails on LD with a few shots of his own.
Evans then actually tosses the chair aside, deciding that he doesn't actually need a weapon, instead using the chance to lay a few boots into LD.
Evans sends LD into the corner, sits him on the second turnbuckle, putting each of Evans’ legs over the second rope, and hits a step-up enzuguiri. He then locks on a front face lock and drops LD with an elevated DDT. Evans covers but only gets two. Evans is easily up first, sees that LD is still disoriented, and climbs up the side of the cage that is surprisingly not wrapped in barbed wire. He makes the sign of a gun towards his head, signaling that this move will finish LD. Evans goes for a top-rope frog splash...and LD moves! Both men are down, but there’s no count from the referee as he’s under strict orders from GM Selena (read: have there be a winner, or take Chuckles' place, ref dude!) to have a winner.
Evans slowly starts to get up, but LD has recovered, and is holding HDB!!! Apparantly, LD came prepared. LD buries the bat, into Evans' stomach, and then, in a nod to his kz partner, locks on the JI-ENDO, using the barbed-wire bat as leverage!!! Evans is trapped! Evans resists tapping, and is somehow able to make it to his knees and then his feet, backing LD into the corner. Evans throws LD into the corner three times, but LD won’t break the hold! Evans then turns around with LD still holding him, and leans forward, dropping LD's face into the middle turnbuckle. This forces LD to finally break the hold. The announcers are amazed that we’re now past 35 minutes and both men are still battling it out.
Evans gets to his feet first, and goes back for the chair. LD gets up, and sees Evans coming after him, ducking out of the way of two chair shots. LD grabs HDB. Both men are hesitant to make a move, knowing that each has a weapon. Finally they both start nailing each other with the weapons! The blood is flowing again! After a few good shots shots, they slow down, and are now alternating shots to the head. Evans falls down first, and LD charges in for more. Evans takes LD down, rolls through, and turns LD over in a single-leg Boston Crab! Shades of Lance Storm!
Evans has the crab locked in the center of the ring, and LD is bleeding out like crazy. He slowly pulls himself over to the ropes, and Evan slowly walks them back to the center of the ring. LD screams in pain, and raises his hand to tap, but does not. LD tries to get over to the ropes again, and sees the chair. Evans notices this out of the corner of his eye, and immediately turns this into a properly-done STF, not that shitty one that Cena does. LD again considers tapping, but does not. Evans finally looks to complete the trifecta, moving to a cross face of his own, but LD uses the time spent between moves to get his hand on the chair, and swings his hand back, nearly catching Evans' eye!
We’ve past the 45 minute mark when LD ascends the turnbuckle after sending Evans into the corner. He then places the chair on top of Evans, and hits a leg drop, which Evans barely kicks out of.
LD goes to the top rope, but Evans was playing possum, and crotches LD on the ropes. Evans goes for a top-rope hurricarana, but LD is able to counter mid-move. He gets Evans into position for the Canadian Destroyer off the top rope by placing Evans' feet on the middle rope, but LD's blood gets in his eyes. Evans takes the opportunity to hit LD with a flurry of hard elbow shots to the stomach, and then prepares LD for a top-rope Superplex. But instead he hooks the leg, and HOLY FUCK! Way of the Future small-package Driver off the top rope! Evans is somehow able to not kill himself by doing this, and goes for the cover. 1...2....3! Unbelievable! Chris Evans is the new OOWF World Champion!
WINNER in 48:53, And NEW OOWF World Champion, "Lionheart" Chris Evans.
As the cage raises up, Evans is understandably disoriented, but wastes no time in grabbing the World title, and a microphone.
Evans: You see, you see that?! Yeah, I hear some of you people are actually cheering me right now. You know what?! Fuck you people! Fuck each and every one of you! Nobody believed I could ever do this, not a single damn one of you!
Evans pauses as the boos continue to rain down on him.
Hey, hey Ski Mask Guy. I told you, I told you I'd win. So where are you now, huh? You were talking a bunch of shit to me this week, saying I had no chance, that LD would kick my ass and beat me. Well look who's still standing. Hell, look at this...hey, give me this fucking camera!
Evans shows the footage of the medical team, who is currently treating LD in the ring, checking for any serious injury that could have been caused by taking the top-rope Small Package Driver.
Yeah, you see that? I had you in mind when I did that. The thought of dropping you, and having your vertebrae shatter. Watching your life flash before your eyes. So if you want me so badly, tell you what? How about you drop the pipe, and your balls, and face me in the ring? Not for the title of course, I don't give shots to those who haven't deserved it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a celebration to go to.
Evans tosses the camera back at the cameraman, and heads up the ramp, holding the World championship over his head while the fans throw food, drinks, and whatever else they can find available at him. The final shot is of Chris Evans at the top of the ramp. He turns around, and flips off the crowd. It appears that a new era has just begun.
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