Post by BookerShark on Jul 25, 2013 20:22:48 GMT -5
OOWF Midweek Mayhem
Live from Kittredge, Colorado
Wednesday, July 17th 2013
Awesome Bill from Dawsonville vs. The Word
The Devil Went Down to Georgia brings out Awesome Bill astride his best friend Drunkey. He is followed by his faithful companion Ellie May on her Likkercycle, towing a cooler. As Bill rides around the ring slapping hands with the fans, Ellie May is throwing out candy which might have PCPL flavoring to it. Bill climbs off Drunkey and hugs him, then walks up the steps and falls into the ring. Ellie may shakes her head and climbs into the ring, handing Bill a quart Mason jar of what may be PCPL. Bill clmbs the turnbuckle and takes off his hat and toasts the fans, downing the quart in a single gulp to cheers. Bill shakes his head and jumps off the turnbuckle...
As Bach's Fugue in D Minor brings out Father Lou, who blesses the crowd before the shimmering white pyro brings out The Word. Father Lou walks behind the big man to ringside, climbs the steps ahead of him, and holds the ropes so The Word can climb in. The big man returns the favor so that his manager can climb in, and Father Lou walks to all four sides of the ring and blesses the crowd as The Word stands in the corner, arms crossed. Ellie May hands Bill a pint of PCPL to offer to The Word, and Bill walks up to the man and tries to offer it to him, but Father Lou gets in the way of Bill, with a lecture of some kind about demon rum and the evils of Alcohol or some such nonsense, and that begins an argument between Father Lou and Ellie May. Ellie May gets in Father Lou's face and as the words fly, Ellie May slaps him, and Father Lou pushes her back. Bill steps between the two and offers Father Lou the PCPL, and he slaps the pint out of his hands and it flies out of the ring and eats a hole in the floor. Bill is incensed and starts to grab Father Lou but The Word levels Bill with a clothesline, and the referee decides this is a good time to call for the bell to start this match.
The Word pounds away at Bill with punches and kicks as Father Lou walks out of the ring and up the ramp to the back. The Word picks up Bill and throws him across the ring. Bill stumbles under an attempted clothesline and falls out of the ring. The Word follows Bill out of the ring and tries to throw Bill into the ring post but Bill reverses and The Word goes into the post. Bill tries to follow up but trips over that PCPL hole in the floor and falls at the feet of The Word. The Word continues kicking and stomping away on Bill before rolling him back into the ring and following him in.
The Word picks up Bill and delivers a solid JUDGEMENT that drops Bill like a rock. He picks up Bill to deliver THE HAND OF GOD but Bill grabs the hand and BITES it. That stuns The Word who falls back into the corner and Bill falls over the middle rope. Ellie May is there with a pint of PCPL and she opens it under Bill's nose. Bill reaches out and drinks the PCPL like a man dying of thirst. (It has been TEN WHOLE MINUTES since Bill had any, after all...) Like Popeye after a can of spinach, Bill takes out after The Word with wild kicks and punches of his own. Bill throws The Word into the ropes --- MASON DIXON LINE! Either sensing victory or needing another pint of PCPL, Bill scales the ropes to attempt a FREEBIRD – but he flies into the arms of The Word and THE HAND OF GOD! Bill flaps and flails but eventually enters unconsciousness – a realm that he is well used to – and the referee calls for the bell.
WINNER in 12:34 – The Word
Father Lou walks back down the ramp to accompany The Word to the back as Ellie May waves for help from the back. Out comes Chuckles Norris to help get Bill out of the ring and onto Drunkey. As the get Bill in the saddle, Chuckles slaps Durnkey on the back. Drunkey kicks Chuckles into the third row of ringside and into a crowd of Saints of Sinners fans. They proceed to kick the crap out of the clown until eventually security escorts Chuckles to the back....
Saints of Sinners (Chloe & Jeremy Punswick) vs. Salvation (Ecosystem & Stan Fulton)
The match goes well for several minutes until Salvation takes over on Jeremy Punswick. Ecosystem nails Punswick with the SAVIOR SPLASH! Eco looks at the fans, points to Fulton, and tags him in. Fulton heads to the corner, climbs the turnbuckle...
...and is met by Chloe with a barbed wire branding iron to the fishing tackle....
Winner by DQ in 7:53 – SALVATION
Chloe then turns to Ecosystem and starts beating away with the branding iron, and that brings out the rest of the Saints, who beat the crap out of Salvation until Texpress, Firewoman, and Mai Muyo head down the ramp and the Saints retreat. Before the faces head back as well, Stan and Eco do whisper to one another and make a very subtle motion towards the Texans.
Pretty Hate Machine (Alexis Darling, Firewoman, and Miranda) vs. Drink & Destroy (Murphy’s Law & Danny Taylor
Drink & Destroy comes out in full force, as the crowd gives a big cheer for Danny, DK and Daniella. So much alliteration, so much support! However, the cheer is nearly matched—nearly—once Firewoman’s music heralds the arrival of Pretty Hate Machine! Fire acknowledges the crowd, Alexis looks intense, and Miranda is giving leaping high fives….perhaps “Pretty Hate Machine” stands for all three these days?
DK Murphy is sent in to start off, and Miranda decides to try her hand after confirming with Fire. They lock up to start, and Miranda uses her speed to try to avoid any takeover by the big man Murphy. She does get a quick drop toehold when DK gets sloppy, but when she slides over for a front facelock takeover, he grabs her leg and powers her up from a fisherman’s suplex, good for two. The exchange continues on, DK holding the advantage but relying on grappling rather than striking, preferring that style against the smaller Miranda. However, when he grabs the leg for the STF, Miranda again trips him over, and hops on his chest before tagging in Firewoman!
Firewoman is a house o’….can’t remember the word….but she does dropkick DK Murphy down three times—once to the head—before leaping off the middle rope for a BEST LION-FIRESAULT EVAR! That is, best EVAR for DK, who gets his knees up, catching Fire bad. He stumbles to the corner, and here comes DDT as Fire rises. Taylor is not holding back, as he NAILS Fire with a charging clothesline, not even taking a breath before he grabs her up and nails a GUTWRENCH! Even Miranda seems nervous by the speed of that flurry, but as Danny goes toward strikes, Fire fires back, trying to keep Danny’s long and strong limbs away (not that one!) with some success—until Danny charges right through the kicks, and throws Firewoman with his signature Exploder Suplex…
..into her friendly corner, and as Danny rises from a breath, Alexis Darling leaps off the top rope and NAILS Danny with a flying spin kick (“ooh” from the audience) that sends him into his own corner…and Daniella isn’t waiting for a tag from nobody, as she charges in and goes right after Alexis, trading rights, lefts and knee-kicks! Daniella is hitting harder, but she goes for a spear quick and Alexis goes down LOW to reverse into a back body drop! Alexis rushes to the top rope, but it’s too fast, as Daniella rolls out of the way, causing Alexis to land flat out! Daniella starts putting the boots to Alexis on ground and then the corner…Daniella steps back and charges for a Stinger Splash—but Alexis dives out of the way and Daniella nails her head! Alexis picks her up from behind—AIR RAID CRASH! Alexis goes for the cover immediately, too fast for interference! 1-2-3!
Winner in 8:22…Pretty Hate Machine, via pinfall by Alexis Darling!
Chad Madison vs. Justin Sane – Winner gets a date with Miranda, Loser is the waiter
Miranda is out first and makes her way to a seat near Russ and Razz. As she sits, Justin Sane comes out and makes a beeline right to Miranda. As Justin chats up Miranda, “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” heralds the entrance of Chad Madison.
Chad also comes over to Miranda and tells Justin to get in the ring. Chad winks at Miranda and climbs in the ring himself. The bell rings and this one’s underway.
Collared-elbow lock up and they break with Justin pushing Chad back a step. He poses and shows off his muscles at Miranda. Chad scowls and shoves Justin. They lock up again and this time Madison shoves Justin back. He poses and it’s obvious that Chad is in much better shape.
Justin’s incensed and he runs the ropes and bounces off Chad trying a shoulder block. Chad sticks out a hand to help Justin up. Justin takes it and pulls Chad over. This causes Chad to fall on top of Justin and the ref makes the pin. Justin kicks out at two. He rolls over and slaps the mat as Chad has made it back to his feet.
Justin stands and lets out a huff. He runs the ropes again and this time Chad just moves out of the way and Justin goes sailing to the floor outside the ring. Chad looks over to the ref and just shrugs.
The referee starts the ten count and gets to seven before Justin gets back in the ring. He goes over to the announcers’ side and starts telling Miranda that he’s usually not this clumsy. Chad taps him on the shoulder.
Justin turns around right into a forearm smash. Chad gives Justin another forearm and then launches him across the ring. On the return Chad hits a dropkick. Justin starts to stand and Chad dropkicks him again. Before Justin can even get up again, Chad hits the third of his Triple Dropkick!
Madison covers! ONE... TWO... NO! Justin rolls his shoulder. Chad doesn’t waste time lamenting over it and climbs the turnbuckle. As Justin gets to his feet, Chad hits a twisting spiral splash! This one’s over. Chad covers again. ONE... TWO... THR... NO! Somehow Justin kicks out. Now Chad’s frustrated.
Before he can do anything about it, he spots Stank who’s made his way to ringside and he’s hovering over Miranda. Miranda is cringing, but Stank looks like he’s enjoying tormenting her. Chad goes over to that side and starts yelling at Stank to stand clear. Stank looks up with as a disdainful look as one man can give another.
While Chad is busy with Stank, Justin has gotten his wits together as much as he ever has. He slides in behind Chad, hooks his leg and pulls him over. ONE... TWO... THREE!
Your winner in 7:10... JUSTIN SANE!
Justin has his hand raised by the referee and he starts celebrating. You’d think he just won the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s jumping around and hugging the referee and then hugs Chad, who’s just standing there dumbfounded.
Justin then notices that Stank is still hovering over his future date. Justin climbs the turnbuckle nearest them. DOUGHAWK!!!!
The lights go out; there’s a sound of a old style modem dialing, the Ack! Thwppp! of Bill the Cat from “Calvin and Hobbes” and finally the roar of a B-52. When the lights come back on, Stank is still standing and Justin is hanging upside down in Stank’s grasp. Miranda is now in a skybox and Chad Madison is sitting on a far turnbuckle, strapped there with a bullrope and wearing a White Hat.
Stank starts “dunking” Justin, knocking Justin’s head on the floor and lifting him back up to do it again and again. There’s blood pooling on the floor under Justin’s head. Stanks looks to end Justin but before he can, Zane Myers and Firewoman are running down the ramp and Stank tosses Justin to the floor before making his way out through the crowd.
Alexander Darling vs. Ghosthead
Ghosthead is out first and strides to the ring completely indifferent to the boos of the crowd. He climbs between the ropes and stretches in his corner. The crowd's boos turn suddenly to cheers as Alexander Darling steps onto the stage. Alex acknowledges the reaction, but becomes all business as he locks eyes with Ghosthead. Alex marches to the ring and climbs inside, never taking his eyes off of his opponent. Referee Junior Hale calls both men to the middle of the ring, gives them their instructions, and calls for the bell.
They lock up and Ghosthead buries a knee in Alex's midsection. He follows that with an elbow to his temple. He sends Alex hard into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Alex stumbles out of the corner, and Ghosthead takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex. Ghosthead goes to the ropes and leaps high for a legdrop, but Alex rolls out of the way. Alex spins to his feet and drives a kick into Ghosthead's temple, then goes to the ropes and hits a running knee to the face. Alex stomps Ghosthead into the mat before sitting him up, planting a knee in his back, and pulling back on his head. Ghosthead gets his feet under him, forcing Alex to get up as well. Ghosthead reaches back to grab Alex's head and flips him over his shoulder. Alex manages to land on his feet andtries to turn it into a neckbreaker, but Ghost pivots and drops, snapping Alex's neck back across his shoulder. Ghosthead covers, but Alex kicks out at two.
Ghosthead drags Alex to his feet and clubs him across the shoulders with forearms. He stuns Alex with an elbow to the jaw, then knees him in the stomach and takes him over with a gutwrench suplex. Ghosthead pulls Alex up and sends him to the ropes. Spinebuster - No! Alex drives a knee into Ghosthead's face mid-move, sending them both crashing to the mat. Ghosthead gets up with blood trickling from his nose. He launches himself at Alex, who drops to the mat. Ghosthead tumbles into the ropes, and Alex flips him out to the apron. Alex springs off the second turnbuckle and drives an elbow into Ghost's head, sending him to the floor. Alex hits the opposite ropes and sprints across the ring - but puts on the brakes when Ghosthead hits the deck. Alex waits for Ghosthead to get up, and slings himself over the ropes to slam an elbow into his head.
Alex slams Ghost's head into the apron and tries to stuff him into the ring, but Ghosthead elbows free. Ghosthead scoops and slams Alex on the floor,then rolls into the ring to break the count. Ghosthead goes back to the floor, and he sends Alex into the ringside barrier. Alex dodges a charge. He tries to slam Ghosthead's face into the railing, but Ghosthead reverses, drawing blood. Ghosthead drags Alex back to the ring and stuffs him under the ropes. He climbs in as well and grabs Alex, but Alex rolls him up for a long two count.
Ghosthead kicks out and rolls to his feet with a look of rage on his face. He grabs Alex, who tries another rollup, and puts an end to that idea with a knee to the face. He drags Alex to his feet and tries for the Vex Vice, but Alex breaks free of the second part of the move. Ghosthead gets to his feet and Alex catches him with a superkick, following up with a dropkick before he falls. Alex rolls Ghosthead over and grabs his arms - Curbstomp! Alex enjoys it so much he adds several more, driveing Ghosthead's face into the mat. Alex hauls Ghosthead to his feet and pulls his arm across his throat - but Ghosthead reverses and pulls Alex into a short-arm clothesline. He hangs on, keeping Alex from falling, and sends him into the corner. Alex dodges a corner splash and hammers Ghosthead's back with forearms. Ghosthead manages to turn despite the assault and grabs Alex in a two-handed choke. He lifts Alex up and sits him on the turnbuckles. Alex battles back as Ghosthead climbs up, and manages to knock him to the mat. Alex leaps - and Ghosthead springs to his feet and KILLS him with a spinebuster. The move takes it out of both men, and Junior starts to count.
Ghosthead starts to stir at four,while Alex rolls over at five. Ghosthead uses the ropes to pull himself up - and sees Firewoman making her way to ringside to check on her husband. Ghosthead is none to happy, and he has words with Fire. What he doesn't notice is Alex getting to his feet. Alex spins Ghosthead around, hauls him onto his shoulders - Darling Driver! Alex covers, and Junior counts One...Two...Three!
WINNER, in 15:36, Alexander Darling.
Chris Evans & Matt Folz vs. Amazing Jos & Eric O’Mac
Russ: Folks, this next match should be very interesting. The rivals turned friends turned partners turned now bitter enemies, Chris Evans and Matt Folz team up to face the OOWF Onslaught Champion Amazing Jos and a returning Eric O'Mac.
Razz: I'm very fascinated to watch this. I've always felt that if Folz and Evans could get on the same page that they could go down as one of the best tag teams in the history of this industry. Right up there with the Midnight Express, Demolition, Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard, and our current OOWF Tag Champs: LD Williams and Stank.
Russ: Stank and LD Williams aren't the tag team champions right now, Texpress are.
Razz: Who hold the belts right now? Enough said.And on the other side of the ring, you have to wonder how Eric's going to look. He's no doubt an all time legend in this company, but he's been off for a year now and I wonder how much rust he's accumulated.
"Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play as Matt Folz and Chris Evans come to the ring together trying... for now at least.. to act like an actual team. "Amazing" by the horribly untalented Kanye West brings out the very talented current OOWF Onslaught Champion Amazing Jos. Jos walks halfway to the ring, stops, points to the entrence way and.... DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK! The crowd goes absolutely nuts as Grand Slam winner, second longest reigning Onslaught Champion ever, and longest reigning tag team champion ever Eric O'Mac makes his return to the OOWF. Eric high fives Jos and then the two sprint into the ring. Folz and Evans quickly try to attack, but Eric eventually clotheslines Folz over the top and Jos backdrops Evans out as the fans roar.
As a livid Folz and Evans try to regroup on the outside, neither notices Jos heading up to the top rope and leaping off with a missle dropkick to Folz that also sends Folz falling back into Evans knocking him down as well. Jos rolls Evans into the ring where Eric is waiting. The referee calls for the bell and this one is finally underway officially. Eric and Evans lock up, Eric drives him back into the corner and gives a clean break. They lock up again, again Eric drives him into the corner and breaks cleanly. Evans tries a cheap shot, but Eric blocks and turns it into an overhead belly suplex. Eric stays on the attack, hitting a brainbuster, a powerslam and a double underhook powerbomb. He goes for an STF, but Evans manages to get to the ropes. Eric releases and Evans rolls out of the ring to regroup, clearly surprised at how effective Eric has been so far after his long hiatus. Evans rolls back into the ring and goes to his corner to tag Folz, as Eric tags out to Jos.
Folz charges, looking for a lariat, but Jos ducks under, leaps up and catches Folz in a crucifix for a 2 count. Both men back to their feet, and Folz is quickly taken back down by a flying head scissors. Folz buries a knee into Jos's gut, trying to slow him down and goes for a suplex... only to have it reversed into a bridging northern lights suplex by Jos! Folz kicks out at two. Folz reverses and irish whip and looks for the spinebuster, but Jos counters and turns it into a ddt. Jos tries a kick, Folz blocks, but Jos nails Folz with an enziguiri. Jos runs across the ring and absolutely levels Folz with a picture perfect spinning heel kick.
Russ: I can't believe what I'm seeing here folks. Matt Folz is one of the best wrestlers in the world, and Jos is using his speed to counter everything Folz does perfectly.
The match turns as Jos looks to finish with the Falcon Kick, but is too close to the ropes. Folz ducks and Jos crotches himself on the top rope. Folz hits a neckbreaker, then drags Jos over to the heel corner and tags in Evans. Evans climbs to the second rope, Folz hits Jos with a backbreaker and Evans leaps off and nails Jos with an elbow. For the next several minutes, the former New Guard members snipe at each other every chance they get, but manage to mostly concentrate on the match and nail Jos with a variety of quick, crisp double teams. Using quick tags in and out, neither staying in the ring for more than 45 seconds at a time, Evans and Folz put on a tag team clinic cutting off the ring and nailing Jos with almost everything in their arsenals. After a few moments, Folz tags in Evans and the two nail Jos with a sweet spike piledriver. Evans covers and Jos kicks out at 2.5. You can hear Folz's voice "You would think, as much as you like to tell people how great you are, that you'd manage the simple task of hooking a goddamn leg" Evans takes offense to this simple, well meaning advice and slaps Folz in the face. Folz tags back in, shakes his head at Evans and picks up Jos and nails the Angle Slam! This one has got to be over. Folz covers, hooks a leg, and Jos kicks out at 2.999999999.
Russ: I've never seen that look on Folz's face before, he is in absolute shock that Jos kicked out of that.
Razz: Quite frankly, so am I Russ. What a performance by this kid tonight.
Folz places Jos on the top rope and climbs up, looking to finish him off with the Lambeau Leap. But Jos elbows out of it, steadies himself, and hits a GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE SECOND ROPE! Holy shit. Folz is shaken up as Jos crawls slowly across the ring to his corner, Eric and the crowd both frantically urging him on. Jos reaches up and makes the tag as the crowd explodes... the only problem is Evans had the referee distracted so the tag is disallowed. The referee escorts Eric out of the ring, and Folz hits a fisherman's suplex on Jos for another very close 2 count. Folz whips Jos into the corner and charges in looking for a high knee, but Jos ducks. Folz nails the ringpost and Jos again crawls to his corner looking for the tag. Folz makes the tag to Evans, as Jos gets closer to his corner, Evans tries to cut him off but Jos makes the tag! Eric charges back in, a house on fire. Left jab, left jab, right uppercut 3 punch combo connects. Eric grabs Evans's legs, rolls him over and locks in the Breaking The Fourth Wall, Folz runs in and nails Eric to break it up before Evans taps. That brings Jos back into the ring and we have an all out brawl now. Evans pulls out a pair of brass knucks from his tights, takes a swing at Eric, Eric ducks and the punch nails Folz knocking him out cold. Before Evans can react, he's drilled by the Falcon Kick. Jos rolls an unconcious Folz out of the ring as Eric goes up to the top rope and nails Evans with the Mac Attack. Eric tags Jos back in, smiles and says "You finish him off" Eric holds up an already dazed Evans and allows Jos to hit the Oh Em Gee. Jos Covers 1,2,3 this one is over.
Winners via pinfall in 25:45: OOWF Onslaught Champion Amazing Jos and Eric O'Mac.
Russ: My god, what a match. What a return for Eric, and what an amazing performance by a young wrestler on the precipice of greatness.
Stank vs. Zane Myers
It's power against power as Stank and Myers lock up in the latest chapter of the Texpress / Saints of Sinners war….
No feeling out process here – both men meet center ring and lock up, collar and elbow. Pushing match gets nowhere, and they break. Lock up again, and again, neither man can get the advantage. Stank waves Myers in for a 3rd try, but kicks the Texan in the gut instead, and hammers away with forearms to the back of the neck. He drives Myers to his knees, then looks out and flips off the crowd – Myers isn't that hurt, and he sweeps Stank's legs out from under him, and follows up with a slingshot, sending Stank head-first into the corner!
Myers drves a couple of shoulders into Stank, and then beal-throws him out of the corner, settling in for some wear down style offense, focusing on Stanks upper back by surfboarding his arms and then driving repeated knees into Stank's back. Myers then hits the ropes looking for a running knee, but Stank avoids, and rolls to the outside to stop the momentum. Zane goes after him, Stank is able to ram him into the ring apron, back first. Stank pulls Zane out and rams him backwards a second time. Stank rolls in and out of the ring to break the count, and returns to clubbing away on Zane. Stank backs up and charges in with a Mafia Kick – Zane ducks under the foot and counters into a leg trap suplex, sending Stank crashing into the ring steps!
Zane takes a minute to recover, then rolls Stank into the ring. As Stank gets to his feet, Zane comes at him from behind with a German suplex into the turnbuckles! Zane is feeling it, and signals for the end, but both men have the same idea and lariat each other to the mat! Both men get to their knees, BOTH throw haymakers, and both wrestlers go down again!
Both wrestlers struggle to their feet, and for the next several minutes they go from trading bombs in center ring to trading throws and suplexes then back to big strikes. Neither man can get a clear advantage, and both score some nearfalls on their opponent. Suddenly Zane whips Stank across the ring into the corner and barrels in for a spear – Stank pulls the referee in between them, and Zane stops JUST short as the ref dives for cover! This is the chance Stank was waiting for, and he gives the distracted Myers the dreaded Russian-Serbian kick to the Urals! Zane drops, Stan covers, putting a foot on the second rope for leverage as the ref counts -
1 – 2 – 3
Winner at 16:11 – Stank!
LD Williams vs. Tommy Wilder “©”
Full match hopefully to be added; but quick ‘n’ dirty - technical and high-flying at first. Moose comes out and attacks Wilder drawing a DQ win for Wilder but as the rest of the Saints come out, the faces (Texans, Salvation, D&D, Fire) come out as well and in the chaos, Wilder is able to grab the world title and escape while security separates everyone else
Your winner via DQ in 6:44, Tommy Wilder
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Mai Muyo © vs. Christian Carter
The challenger, Christian Carter, enters first—but he looks like no challenger, as he is already carrying the stolen Intercontinental Championship high above, still flaking with dry blood. The fans are jeering him loudly—Mai has a cult following among One Directioners after all—but as the cocky son of a bitch he is, he yells louder, lording it over them all.
PA: “Who’s gonna fight for the weak, who’s gonna make them Believe?”
The true Intercontinental Champion, Mai Muyo, makes her entrance to “Hero” by Skillet, and though she carries no belt, her bright pink fireworks signal that the champ…is…here! She runs and slides into the ring, coming nose to nose with Carter. He just smirks and raises the belt before handing it to the referee—Mai leans over with a stage whisper to the referee and says “Could you wash that before I get it ba—“
But before she can finish the joke, Carter cheap shots her in the shin! She stumbles as CC jams his right knee into her gut, again and again! He wraps the neck and hits a DDT, planting the champ and going into a cover, hooking the leg. But as the referee counts two, Mai hooks his neck with her legs! She’s kicked out and trying to cinch in the Trinitarian (triangle choke) but Carter begins to cinch himself out—WAIT! Carter grabs Mai’s legs and pulls her up…
…but YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB MAI MUYO! (This is basically her main signature move at this point.) She slides out the back of the attempted Razor’s Edge and catches the neck going down for a neckbreaker! Mai mounts the big man and begins to drive elbows down, but he slips a leg in and kicks her off HARD! Mai lands flat on the mat and quickly rolls to the outside for a better view—and her first view is Carter running off the apron and LEAPING to clothesline her down! Not a big jump but a lot force—compounded in pain when Carter picks her up and SLAMS her face-first on the announce table! Carter grabs the belt and holds it right in Mai’s face yelling, “THIS IS MINE!” as the crowd boos. The referee reminds him he has to be back in the ring to win, so Carter drags Mai by her hair and throws her back in the ring as he follows slowly.
Mai rises slowly between Christian’s legs as he wants. No, not that way; he’s hooking the arm, looking for the Fall from Grace—but Mai breaks quickly, pulling out the legs and flipping the big man over for a Boston Crab! Christian Carter grabs the ropes quickly, but Mai breaks immediately, bounds off the ropes, and nails Carter with a KNEE TREMBLER to the head, knocking him in front of the turnbuckle! She looks up to th bace turnbuckle suddenly, prompting cheers as she makes the sign of the cross...we know what’s next…Mai leaps up to the top rope and jumps for the 630 SAVIOR SPLASH—but as the referee watches, Christian suddenly pulls him in…BOOM! Mai lands flush on Christian, but when she does, she kicks the referee in the head too! She tries to pin Christian, but no one can make the count, as Christian rolls out of the ring!
As Mai tries to regain her bearings after the attempted finish, Christian rolls outside the ring and grabs the championship belt…he slides into the ring and sizes up Mai with the championship….but suddenly, here comes Alexis Darling! And she’s got heavier hardware in the chair…but wouldn’t you JUST know it, as Alexis swings and cracks Carter over the back, the referee gets up! How wacky. Obviously, he has to ring the bell.
Winner in 9:35 by Disqualification…Christian Carter!
Alexis throws her chair on the ground in frustration and yells at the referee, as Carter rises laughing and growling simultaneously. He takes a step toward Alexis, but Mai joins here. She asks why, and Alexis backs her up, pointing to the belt and saying, “That belongs to me.” The three stare down…Christian raises the championship and begins to head off with it again, slowly. Alexis looks at Mai, but Mai looks at Carter and says, “Enjoy your toy,” before stepping back and climbing the top rope, taking in the fans’ cheers with a beltless raised pose.
Non-Title Main Event
Moosehead Jack © vs. Jason Allen
Jason Allen makes his way to the ring first and climbs the to the top rope and poses for the crowd. Moose and Chloe come to the top of the ramp next, and do not look happy. They storm the ring, but Allen is ready for them. He catches Chloe with a superkick that sends her staggering back to the corner, then ducks a clothesline from Moose and hits him with a PELE KICK! Allen springs to his feet and charges into the corner and nails Chloe with a flying forearm to the side of the head, then turns around and grabs Moose and sets him up for the ROYAL FLUSH but before he can hit it, Chloe charges out of the corner and nails Allen from behind. The shot allows Moose to lift Allen and hit an ALABAMA SLAM! The back of Allen’s head slams into the canvas and he is momentarily stunned.
Moose pulls him to his feet and launches him over the top rope to the floor, Chloe immediately leaves the ring and grabs a chair and slams it to the ground, then lays Allen’s head on it while Moose waits on the apron! Moose is about to leaps off the apron and drive a knee into the back of Allen’s head when Texpress, and Salvation race to the ring! Moose ducks back into the ring and Chloe escapes just before Eco can grab her. The White Hats circle the ring, Mai helps Allen to his feet. The crowd is roaring for the coming Moose and Chloe beat down, but those cheers quickly turn to boos when Stank, LD, Punswick and Carter head to the ring!
Stank and LD go after Chad and Zane, Punswick grabs Allen, and Carter goes after Mai. From inside the ring, Mai dives between the ropes and takes out Stan, and the two of them roll around on the floor hammering one another with punches. Inside the ring, Moose stands there with an amused look on his face, closes his eyes and extends his arms in a Christ pose. What he doesn’t notice is that Ecosystem has slipped in the ring behind him and is standing there with a blank expression on his face, reminiscent of his days in the Saints of Sinners. Moose soon notices the cheers and turns around and he sees Eco. Moose smirks and the two madmen stare at one another as the tension builds.
They slowly move toward one another, but before they can come to blows, LD throws Zane into the ring and follows him. Moose smirks then immediately falls on Zane and hammers him with punches to the head. As Eco moves in to stop him, LD cuts him off with a clothesline that knocks him to the mat. Soon enough all twelve wrestlers are in the ring and we have something that resembles a battle royal! Numerous officials and referees race to the ring, and soon enough, instead of trying to break it up, we get an official announcement, the match has been changed!
THE SAINTS OF SINNERS vs. JASON ALLEN, TEXPRESS & SALVATION
LD and Eco start things off, Eco is on the mat trying to get to his feet, but LD hammers him with punches to the head, then drops an elbow across the back of his neck, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes. On the rebound, LD catches Eco with a SPINEBUSTER and covers him, but Jason Allen charges in and kicks LD on the back of the head breaking it up. As the referee orders Allen back to his corner LD pulls Eco up and throws him into the Saints corner. The Saints immediately hammer Eco to the mat, with Chloe grabbing him around the throat outside the ring and bending his head back trying to pull it off his shoulders.
LD tags in Christian Carter and he comes in and waits for Eco to get to his feet and POPS him with a straight right hand to the jaw. Eco staggers away to the opposite corner and Carter pursues him and slams him face first into the turnbuckle. He pulls Eco to the middle of the ring and points at Mai, then lifts Eco for a superplex, but Eco lands a knee to Carter’s face, Carter drops him and takes a step back, Carter tries a big boot, but Eco rolls under it and lunges to his corner and tags in Mai!
Mai springs to the top rope and nails Carter with a clothesline dropping the big man to the mat. She waits for Carter to get to one knee then grabs his head and hammers him with several knees to the face. Carter is dazed and struggles to his feet, Mai charges in and tries a BURNING HAMMER, but Carter catches her and hits a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! The move folds Mai in half and they both remain on the mat for a minute. The crowd is roaring for Mai to get to her feet. She pulls herself up using the ropes, and Carter charges at her, but she low bridges him and he tumbles over the top rope to the floor. Before Mai can do anything else, Punswick races down the apron and clotheslines her right on the back of the head. As Mai hits the mat, Carter pulls her out of the ring, lifts her up and hits an APRON POWERBOMB! Carter rolls Mai back into the ring and tags in Punswick.
JP comes into the ring and Carter lifts Mai and drops her across his knee, Punswick leaps in the air and drops a leg across her throat and covers, but Mai kicks out at two. Punswick mounts Mai and hammers her with straight rights to the face until Chad Madison runs in and breaks up the assault with a SUPERKICK to the back of Punswick’s head! JP falls face first to the mat and doesn’t move. Mai slowly crawls toward her corner with the crowd cheering her on, and just as Punswick gets to his knees, she tags in Zane Myers.
Zane comes in and hits a falling clothesline on Punswick that sends him right back to the mat. Zane then suicidally charges into the corner and attacks the Saints, nailing them all, dropping them off the apron one by one. While he is doing that, Stan Fulton decides he wants in on the action and charges in and hits a DROPLINE on an unsuspecting Punswick! Zane turns around and sees JP out and covers, but Chloe manages to slide back into the ring and break it up before the three count. She pulls Zane to his feet and throws him in the corner and flies in and catches him with a high knee to the face. As Zane slumps in the corner Chloe drops to her knees and BITES HIS FACE! Zane howls in pain, the referee finally sees what is going on and gets Chloe out of the ring.
Punswick manages to make the tag to Moose, who heads to the corner and climbs the ropes, waiting for Zane to get up. Ecosystem decides he is not going to allow this and shakes the ropes, Moose loses his balance and crotches himself on the top. Zane gets to his feet and runs to the corner and nails Moose with a forearm to the side of the head, then climbs the ropes, hooks Moose and hits a SUPERPLEX! As Zane and Moose hit the mat, Stank comes into the ring and drops a knee across Zane’s chest, which brings Chad Madison in as well! LD Williams comes in to defend his partner and soon Texpress, LD and Stank are brawling around the ring!
LD sets Chad up for the CANADIAN DESTROYER, but Jason Allen slips into the ring and hits him with a SUPERKICK, then hits the ROYAL FLUSH! Before he can cover, Chloe charges in and kicks him in the skull, lifts him and hits the CORKSCREW! As Chloe gets to her feet Stan Fulton is standing right there. The two of them go toe to toe for a moment, then Stan whips her to the ropes and catches her on the rebound with the BLACK HOLE SLAM! On the other side of the ring, Christian Carter has Mai in the corner and is hammering her with elbows to the side of the head. Eco grabs him from behind and DROPS him with a SCORPION DEATH DROP, then rolls Carter over and traps him in a DRAGON SLEEPER! Mai climbs to the top rope and hits a missile drop kick on Chloe as she stands up.
Moose and Punswick attack Fulton from behind and bring the big man down and pound him mercilessly. Moose wraps a chain around his fist and soon Stan is bleeding badly. Outside the ring, Stank slams Chad in the face with a headbutt then whips the Texan into the guardrail. Chad hits hard and slumps to the floor, Stank charges in and catches him with a knee to the face. On the other side of the ring, LD Williams runs down the apron and tries a kick to Zane’s head, but Zane sweeps his leg from beneath him, LD hits the mat, Zane grabs him and lifts him onto his shoulders and DRIVES him to the floor with a CUT THROAT DRIVER!
Inside the ring, Jason Allen saves Stank by grabbing Moose, spinning him around and rocking him with several European uppercuts, then hits a PELE KICK. Moose staggers back to the corner and Allen charges in, but Christian Carter steps in and nearly takes his head off with a kick to the jaw! Carter then turns his attention to Mai and slips out of the ring and grabs a chair and slips back in and SLAMS it across her back! As Mai staggers, Carter lifts her up and hits the FINAL TESTIMONY! While this is going on, Chloe continues to hammer Stan, smearing his blood on her shirt. The big man fights to his feet and grabs Chloe by the head and hammers her with punches to the side of the head, then whips her into the corner and KILLS her with an AVALANCHE!
Outside the ring, Stank has just PLANTED Chad with a STANK-U and he and Zane charge at one another and start fighting hockey style. The match has completely broken down, the referees are struggling to maintain control, but there is no way this is going to go back to being a match. By now, just about everyone is bleeding, chairs, chains, and any other plunder lying around is being used. In the middle of the ring, Moose and Jason Allen are fighting it out, Allen gets the better of the exchange and charges at Moose, but Moose catches him with a RANHEI! As Allen lies on the mat, with everyone else fighting on the outside, Moose reaches for the ever present scalpel in his boot, when the lights go out! There is general murmuring and yelling, and within a minute or so, the lights come back on, and we see a 20 foot ladder set up at the top of the ramp. Sitting on top of the ladder is Tommy Wilder, with what might just be, the OOWF World Heavyweight title.
Yo Moosie! Hi! Remember me? The adrenaline junkie that has your belt? I know you want this back…….and if you do, you might just want to reconsider what you are about to do there…..if my friend Jason gets cut……you know, I just might misplace the title……oh this? Nope, still not it <Wilder drops the title and it breaks as it hits the ground, being nothing more than a plastic replica> Oh dude! I am so clumsy! What if that had been the REAL title? Gotta play the game Moosie! Go big, or go home…….play by my rules, or you don’t see your precious again!
Inside the ring, Moose is LIVID! He has been staring at Wilder the entire time. He turns around to face Jason again and Allen kicks him in the gut and hits the ROYAL FLUSH! Allen covers, the referee decides this might be the only chance to get a clean finish and counts one…..two……thre…..NO! Chloe manages to get into the ring with a chair and slams it down on the back of Allen’s head! The referee has finally seen enough and decides to end the madness.
WINNERS – No Contest in 33:41
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the BLOODY FRONT, coming to you Live! Sunday July 28th from Fort Dodge, Kansas! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! Wednesday, July 24th! From Ord, Nebraska. Did you see something you really liked? Post it here in the 2013 Awards Reminder Thread. Please join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights! And be sure to check out the full OOWF Archive and read up on the 8-year plus history of the OOWF!
Live from Kittredge, Colorado
Wednesday, July 17th 2013
Awesome Bill from Dawsonville vs. The Word
The Devil Went Down to Georgia brings out Awesome Bill astride his best friend Drunkey. He is followed by his faithful companion Ellie May on her Likkercycle, towing a cooler. As Bill rides around the ring slapping hands with the fans, Ellie May is throwing out candy which might have PCPL flavoring to it. Bill climbs off Drunkey and hugs him, then walks up the steps and falls into the ring. Ellie may shakes her head and climbs into the ring, handing Bill a quart Mason jar of what may be PCPL. Bill clmbs the turnbuckle and takes off his hat and toasts the fans, downing the quart in a single gulp to cheers. Bill shakes his head and jumps off the turnbuckle...
As Bach's Fugue in D Minor brings out Father Lou, who blesses the crowd before the shimmering white pyro brings out The Word. Father Lou walks behind the big man to ringside, climbs the steps ahead of him, and holds the ropes so The Word can climb in. The big man returns the favor so that his manager can climb in, and Father Lou walks to all four sides of the ring and blesses the crowd as The Word stands in the corner, arms crossed. Ellie May hands Bill a pint of PCPL to offer to The Word, and Bill walks up to the man and tries to offer it to him, but Father Lou gets in the way of Bill, with a lecture of some kind about demon rum and the evils of Alcohol or some such nonsense, and that begins an argument between Father Lou and Ellie May. Ellie May gets in Father Lou's face and as the words fly, Ellie May slaps him, and Father Lou pushes her back. Bill steps between the two and offers Father Lou the PCPL, and he slaps the pint out of his hands and it flies out of the ring and eats a hole in the floor. Bill is incensed and starts to grab Father Lou but The Word levels Bill with a clothesline, and the referee decides this is a good time to call for the bell to start this match.
The Word pounds away at Bill with punches and kicks as Father Lou walks out of the ring and up the ramp to the back. The Word picks up Bill and throws him across the ring. Bill stumbles under an attempted clothesline and falls out of the ring. The Word follows Bill out of the ring and tries to throw Bill into the ring post but Bill reverses and The Word goes into the post. Bill tries to follow up but trips over that PCPL hole in the floor and falls at the feet of The Word. The Word continues kicking and stomping away on Bill before rolling him back into the ring and following him in.
The Word picks up Bill and delivers a solid JUDGEMENT that drops Bill like a rock. He picks up Bill to deliver THE HAND OF GOD but Bill grabs the hand and BITES it. That stuns The Word who falls back into the corner and Bill falls over the middle rope. Ellie May is there with a pint of PCPL and she opens it under Bill's nose. Bill reaches out and drinks the PCPL like a man dying of thirst. (It has been TEN WHOLE MINUTES since Bill had any, after all...) Like Popeye after a can of spinach, Bill takes out after The Word with wild kicks and punches of his own. Bill throws The Word into the ropes --- MASON DIXON LINE! Either sensing victory or needing another pint of PCPL, Bill scales the ropes to attempt a FREEBIRD – but he flies into the arms of The Word and THE HAND OF GOD! Bill flaps and flails but eventually enters unconsciousness – a realm that he is well used to – and the referee calls for the bell.
WINNER in 12:34 – The Word
Father Lou walks back down the ramp to accompany The Word to the back as Ellie May waves for help from the back. Out comes Chuckles Norris to help get Bill out of the ring and onto Drunkey. As the get Bill in the saddle, Chuckles slaps Durnkey on the back. Drunkey kicks Chuckles into the third row of ringside and into a crowd of Saints of Sinners fans. They proceed to kick the crap out of the clown until eventually security escorts Chuckles to the back....
Saints of Sinners (Chloe & Jeremy Punswick) vs. Salvation (Ecosystem & Stan Fulton)
The match goes well for several minutes until Salvation takes over on Jeremy Punswick. Ecosystem nails Punswick with the SAVIOR SPLASH! Eco looks at the fans, points to Fulton, and tags him in. Fulton heads to the corner, climbs the turnbuckle...
...and is met by Chloe with a barbed wire branding iron to the fishing tackle....
Winner by DQ in 7:53 – SALVATION
Chloe then turns to Ecosystem and starts beating away with the branding iron, and that brings out the rest of the Saints, who beat the crap out of Salvation until Texpress, Firewoman, and Mai Muyo head down the ramp and the Saints retreat. Before the faces head back as well, Stan and Eco do whisper to one another and make a very subtle motion towards the Texans.
Pretty Hate Machine (Alexis Darling, Firewoman, and Miranda) vs. Drink & Destroy (Murphy’s Law & Danny Taylor
Drink & Destroy comes out in full force, as the crowd gives a big cheer for Danny, DK and Daniella. So much alliteration, so much support! However, the cheer is nearly matched—nearly—once Firewoman’s music heralds the arrival of Pretty Hate Machine! Fire acknowledges the crowd, Alexis looks intense, and Miranda is giving leaping high fives….perhaps “Pretty Hate Machine” stands for all three these days?
DK Murphy is sent in to start off, and Miranda decides to try her hand after confirming with Fire. They lock up to start, and Miranda uses her speed to try to avoid any takeover by the big man Murphy. She does get a quick drop toehold when DK gets sloppy, but when she slides over for a front facelock takeover, he grabs her leg and powers her up from a fisherman’s suplex, good for two. The exchange continues on, DK holding the advantage but relying on grappling rather than striking, preferring that style against the smaller Miranda. However, when he grabs the leg for the STF, Miranda again trips him over, and hops on his chest before tagging in Firewoman!
Firewoman is a house o’….can’t remember the word….but she does dropkick DK Murphy down three times—once to the head—before leaping off the middle rope for a BEST LION-FIRESAULT EVAR! That is, best EVAR for DK, who gets his knees up, catching Fire bad. He stumbles to the corner, and here comes DDT as Fire rises. Taylor is not holding back, as he NAILS Fire with a charging clothesline, not even taking a breath before he grabs her up and nails a GUTWRENCH! Even Miranda seems nervous by the speed of that flurry, but as Danny goes toward strikes, Fire fires back, trying to keep Danny’s long and strong limbs away (not that one!) with some success—until Danny charges right through the kicks, and throws Firewoman with his signature Exploder Suplex…
..into her friendly corner, and as Danny rises from a breath, Alexis Darling leaps off the top rope and NAILS Danny with a flying spin kick (“ooh” from the audience) that sends him into his own corner…and Daniella isn’t waiting for a tag from nobody, as she charges in and goes right after Alexis, trading rights, lefts and knee-kicks! Daniella is hitting harder, but she goes for a spear quick and Alexis goes down LOW to reverse into a back body drop! Alexis rushes to the top rope, but it’s too fast, as Daniella rolls out of the way, causing Alexis to land flat out! Daniella starts putting the boots to Alexis on ground and then the corner…Daniella steps back and charges for a Stinger Splash—but Alexis dives out of the way and Daniella nails her head! Alexis picks her up from behind—AIR RAID CRASH! Alexis goes for the cover immediately, too fast for interference! 1-2-3!
Winner in 8:22…Pretty Hate Machine, via pinfall by Alexis Darling!
Chad Madison vs. Justin Sane – Winner gets a date with Miranda, Loser is the waiter
Miranda is out first and makes her way to a seat near Russ and Razz. As she sits, Justin Sane comes out and makes a beeline right to Miranda. As Justin chats up Miranda, “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” heralds the entrance of Chad Madison.
Chad also comes over to Miranda and tells Justin to get in the ring. Chad winks at Miranda and climbs in the ring himself. The bell rings and this one’s underway.
Collared-elbow lock up and they break with Justin pushing Chad back a step. He poses and shows off his muscles at Miranda. Chad scowls and shoves Justin. They lock up again and this time Madison shoves Justin back. He poses and it’s obvious that Chad is in much better shape.
Justin’s incensed and he runs the ropes and bounces off Chad trying a shoulder block. Chad sticks out a hand to help Justin up. Justin takes it and pulls Chad over. This causes Chad to fall on top of Justin and the ref makes the pin. Justin kicks out at two. He rolls over and slaps the mat as Chad has made it back to his feet.
Justin stands and lets out a huff. He runs the ropes again and this time Chad just moves out of the way and Justin goes sailing to the floor outside the ring. Chad looks over to the ref and just shrugs.
The referee starts the ten count and gets to seven before Justin gets back in the ring. He goes over to the announcers’ side and starts telling Miranda that he’s usually not this clumsy. Chad taps him on the shoulder.
Justin turns around right into a forearm smash. Chad gives Justin another forearm and then launches him across the ring. On the return Chad hits a dropkick. Justin starts to stand and Chad dropkicks him again. Before Justin can even get up again, Chad hits the third of his Triple Dropkick!
Madison covers! ONE... TWO... NO! Justin rolls his shoulder. Chad doesn’t waste time lamenting over it and climbs the turnbuckle. As Justin gets to his feet, Chad hits a twisting spiral splash! This one’s over. Chad covers again. ONE... TWO... THR... NO! Somehow Justin kicks out. Now Chad’s frustrated.
Before he can do anything about it, he spots Stank who’s made his way to ringside and he’s hovering over Miranda. Miranda is cringing, but Stank looks like he’s enjoying tormenting her. Chad goes over to that side and starts yelling at Stank to stand clear. Stank looks up with as a disdainful look as one man can give another.
While Chad is busy with Stank, Justin has gotten his wits together as much as he ever has. He slides in behind Chad, hooks his leg and pulls him over. ONE... TWO... THREE!
Your winner in 7:10... JUSTIN SANE!
Justin has his hand raised by the referee and he starts celebrating. You’d think he just won the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s jumping around and hugging the referee and then hugs Chad, who’s just standing there dumbfounded.
Justin then notices that Stank is still hovering over his future date. Justin climbs the turnbuckle nearest them. DOUGHAWK!!!!
The lights go out; there’s a sound of a old style modem dialing, the Ack! Thwppp! of Bill the Cat from “Calvin and Hobbes” and finally the roar of a B-52. When the lights come back on, Stank is still standing and Justin is hanging upside down in Stank’s grasp. Miranda is now in a skybox and Chad Madison is sitting on a far turnbuckle, strapped there with a bullrope and wearing a White Hat.
Stank starts “dunking” Justin, knocking Justin’s head on the floor and lifting him back up to do it again and again. There’s blood pooling on the floor under Justin’s head. Stanks looks to end Justin but before he can, Zane Myers and Firewoman are running down the ramp and Stank tosses Justin to the floor before making his way out through the crowd.
Alexander Darling vs. Ghosthead
Ghosthead is out first and strides to the ring completely indifferent to the boos of the crowd. He climbs between the ropes and stretches in his corner. The crowd's boos turn suddenly to cheers as Alexander Darling steps onto the stage. Alex acknowledges the reaction, but becomes all business as he locks eyes with Ghosthead. Alex marches to the ring and climbs inside, never taking his eyes off of his opponent. Referee Junior Hale calls both men to the middle of the ring, gives them their instructions, and calls for the bell.
They lock up and Ghosthead buries a knee in Alex's midsection. He follows that with an elbow to his temple. He sends Alex hard into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Alex stumbles out of the corner, and Ghosthead takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex. Ghosthead goes to the ropes and leaps high for a legdrop, but Alex rolls out of the way. Alex spins to his feet and drives a kick into Ghosthead's temple, then goes to the ropes and hits a running knee to the face. Alex stomps Ghosthead into the mat before sitting him up, planting a knee in his back, and pulling back on his head. Ghosthead gets his feet under him, forcing Alex to get up as well. Ghosthead reaches back to grab Alex's head and flips him over his shoulder. Alex manages to land on his feet andtries to turn it into a neckbreaker, but Ghost pivots and drops, snapping Alex's neck back across his shoulder. Ghosthead covers, but Alex kicks out at two.
Ghosthead drags Alex to his feet and clubs him across the shoulders with forearms. He stuns Alex with an elbow to the jaw, then knees him in the stomach and takes him over with a gutwrench suplex. Ghosthead pulls Alex up and sends him to the ropes. Spinebuster - No! Alex drives a knee into Ghosthead's face mid-move, sending them both crashing to the mat. Ghosthead gets up with blood trickling from his nose. He launches himself at Alex, who drops to the mat. Ghosthead tumbles into the ropes, and Alex flips him out to the apron. Alex springs off the second turnbuckle and drives an elbow into Ghost's head, sending him to the floor. Alex hits the opposite ropes and sprints across the ring - but puts on the brakes when Ghosthead hits the deck. Alex waits for Ghosthead to get up, and slings himself over the ropes to slam an elbow into his head.
Alex slams Ghost's head into the apron and tries to stuff him into the ring, but Ghosthead elbows free. Ghosthead scoops and slams Alex on the floor,then rolls into the ring to break the count. Ghosthead goes back to the floor, and he sends Alex into the ringside barrier. Alex dodges a charge. He tries to slam Ghosthead's face into the railing, but Ghosthead reverses, drawing blood. Ghosthead drags Alex back to the ring and stuffs him under the ropes. He climbs in as well and grabs Alex, but Alex rolls him up for a long two count.
Ghosthead kicks out and rolls to his feet with a look of rage on his face. He grabs Alex, who tries another rollup, and puts an end to that idea with a knee to the face. He drags Alex to his feet and tries for the Vex Vice, but Alex breaks free of the second part of the move. Ghosthead gets to his feet and Alex catches him with a superkick, following up with a dropkick before he falls. Alex rolls Ghosthead over and grabs his arms - Curbstomp! Alex enjoys it so much he adds several more, driveing Ghosthead's face into the mat. Alex hauls Ghosthead to his feet and pulls his arm across his throat - but Ghosthead reverses and pulls Alex into a short-arm clothesline. He hangs on, keeping Alex from falling, and sends him into the corner. Alex dodges a corner splash and hammers Ghosthead's back with forearms. Ghosthead manages to turn despite the assault and grabs Alex in a two-handed choke. He lifts Alex up and sits him on the turnbuckles. Alex battles back as Ghosthead climbs up, and manages to knock him to the mat. Alex leaps - and Ghosthead springs to his feet and KILLS him with a spinebuster. The move takes it out of both men, and Junior starts to count.
Ghosthead starts to stir at four,while Alex rolls over at five. Ghosthead uses the ropes to pull himself up - and sees Firewoman making her way to ringside to check on her husband. Ghosthead is none to happy, and he has words with Fire. What he doesn't notice is Alex getting to his feet. Alex spins Ghosthead around, hauls him onto his shoulders - Darling Driver! Alex covers, and Junior counts One...Two...Three!
WINNER, in 15:36, Alexander Darling.
Chris Evans & Matt Folz vs. Amazing Jos & Eric O’Mac
Russ: Folks, this next match should be very interesting. The rivals turned friends turned partners turned now bitter enemies, Chris Evans and Matt Folz team up to face the OOWF Onslaught Champion Amazing Jos and a returning Eric O'Mac.
Razz: I'm very fascinated to watch this. I've always felt that if Folz and Evans could get on the same page that they could go down as one of the best tag teams in the history of this industry. Right up there with the Midnight Express, Demolition, Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard, and our current OOWF Tag Champs: LD Williams and Stank.
Russ: Stank and LD Williams aren't the tag team champions right now, Texpress are.
Razz: Who hold the belts right now? Enough said.And on the other side of the ring, you have to wonder how Eric's going to look. He's no doubt an all time legend in this company, but he's been off for a year now and I wonder how much rust he's accumulated.
"Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play as Matt Folz and Chris Evans come to the ring together trying... for now at least.. to act like an actual team. "Amazing" by the horribly untalented Kanye West brings out the very talented current OOWF Onslaught Champion Amazing Jos. Jos walks halfway to the ring, stops, points to the entrence way and.... DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK! The crowd goes absolutely nuts as Grand Slam winner, second longest reigning Onslaught Champion ever, and longest reigning tag team champion ever Eric O'Mac makes his return to the OOWF. Eric high fives Jos and then the two sprint into the ring. Folz and Evans quickly try to attack, but Eric eventually clotheslines Folz over the top and Jos backdrops Evans out as the fans roar.
As a livid Folz and Evans try to regroup on the outside, neither notices Jos heading up to the top rope and leaping off with a missle dropkick to Folz that also sends Folz falling back into Evans knocking him down as well. Jos rolls Evans into the ring where Eric is waiting. The referee calls for the bell and this one is finally underway officially. Eric and Evans lock up, Eric drives him back into the corner and gives a clean break. They lock up again, again Eric drives him into the corner and breaks cleanly. Evans tries a cheap shot, but Eric blocks and turns it into an overhead belly suplex. Eric stays on the attack, hitting a brainbuster, a powerslam and a double underhook powerbomb. He goes for an STF, but Evans manages to get to the ropes. Eric releases and Evans rolls out of the ring to regroup, clearly surprised at how effective Eric has been so far after his long hiatus. Evans rolls back into the ring and goes to his corner to tag Folz, as Eric tags out to Jos.
Folz charges, looking for a lariat, but Jos ducks under, leaps up and catches Folz in a crucifix for a 2 count. Both men back to their feet, and Folz is quickly taken back down by a flying head scissors. Folz buries a knee into Jos's gut, trying to slow him down and goes for a suplex... only to have it reversed into a bridging northern lights suplex by Jos! Folz kicks out at two. Folz reverses and irish whip and looks for the spinebuster, but Jos counters and turns it into a ddt. Jos tries a kick, Folz blocks, but Jos nails Folz with an enziguiri. Jos runs across the ring and absolutely levels Folz with a picture perfect spinning heel kick.
Russ: I can't believe what I'm seeing here folks. Matt Folz is one of the best wrestlers in the world, and Jos is using his speed to counter everything Folz does perfectly.
The match turns as Jos looks to finish with the Falcon Kick, but is too close to the ropes. Folz ducks and Jos crotches himself on the top rope. Folz hits a neckbreaker, then drags Jos over to the heel corner and tags in Evans. Evans climbs to the second rope, Folz hits Jos with a backbreaker and Evans leaps off and nails Jos with an elbow. For the next several minutes, the former New Guard members snipe at each other every chance they get, but manage to mostly concentrate on the match and nail Jos with a variety of quick, crisp double teams. Using quick tags in and out, neither staying in the ring for more than 45 seconds at a time, Evans and Folz put on a tag team clinic cutting off the ring and nailing Jos with almost everything in their arsenals. After a few moments, Folz tags in Evans and the two nail Jos with a sweet spike piledriver. Evans covers and Jos kicks out at 2.5. You can hear Folz's voice "You would think, as much as you like to tell people how great you are, that you'd manage the simple task of hooking a goddamn leg" Evans takes offense to this simple, well meaning advice and slaps Folz in the face. Folz tags back in, shakes his head at Evans and picks up Jos and nails the Angle Slam! This one has got to be over. Folz covers, hooks a leg, and Jos kicks out at 2.999999999.
Russ: I've never seen that look on Folz's face before, he is in absolute shock that Jos kicked out of that.
Razz: Quite frankly, so am I Russ. What a performance by this kid tonight.
Folz places Jos on the top rope and climbs up, looking to finish him off with the Lambeau Leap. But Jos elbows out of it, steadies himself, and hits a GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE SECOND ROPE! Holy shit. Folz is shaken up as Jos crawls slowly across the ring to his corner, Eric and the crowd both frantically urging him on. Jos reaches up and makes the tag as the crowd explodes... the only problem is Evans had the referee distracted so the tag is disallowed. The referee escorts Eric out of the ring, and Folz hits a fisherman's suplex on Jos for another very close 2 count. Folz whips Jos into the corner and charges in looking for a high knee, but Jos ducks. Folz nails the ringpost and Jos again crawls to his corner looking for the tag. Folz makes the tag to Evans, as Jos gets closer to his corner, Evans tries to cut him off but Jos makes the tag! Eric charges back in, a house on fire. Left jab, left jab, right uppercut 3 punch combo connects. Eric grabs Evans's legs, rolls him over and locks in the Breaking The Fourth Wall, Folz runs in and nails Eric to break it up before Evans taps. That brings Jos back into the ring and we have an all out brawl now. Evans pulls out a pair of brass knucks from his tights, takes a swing at Eric, Eric ducks and the punch nails Folz knocking him out cold. Before Evans can react, he's drilled by the Falcon Kick. Jos rolls an unconcious Folz out of the ring as Eric goes up to the top rope and nails Evans with the Mac Attack. Eric tags Jos back in, smiles and says "You finish him off" Eric holds up an already dazed Evans and allows Jos to hit the Oh Em Gee. Jos Covers 1,2,3 this one is over.
Winners via pinfall in 25:45: OOWF Onslaught Champion Amazing Jos and Eric O'Mac.
Russ: My god, what a match. What a return for Eric, and what an amazing performance by a young wrestler on the precipice of greatness.
Stank vs. Zane Myers
It's power against power as Stank and Myers lock up in the latest chapter of the Texpress / Saints of Sinners war….
No feeling out process here – both men meet center ring and lock up, collar and elbow. Pushing match gets nowhere, and they break. Lock up again, and again, neither man can get the advantage. Stank waves Myers in for a 3rd try, but kicks the Texan in the gut instead, and hammers away with forearms to the back of the neck. He drives Myers to his knees, then looks out and flips off the crowd – Myers isn't that hurt, and he sweeps Stank's legs out from under him, and follows up with a slingshot, sending Stank head-first into the corner!
Myers drves a couple of shoulders into Stank, and then beal-throws him out of the corner, settling in for some wear down style offense, focusing on Stanks upper back by surfboarding his arms and then driving repeated knees into Stank's back. Myers then hits the ropes looking for a running knee, but Stank avoids, and rolls to the outside to stop the momentum. Zane goes after him, Stank is able to ram him into the ring apron, back first. Stank pulls Zane out and rams him backwards a second time. Stank rolls in and out of the ring to break the count, and returns to clubbing away on Zane. Stank backs up and charges in with a Mafia Kick – Zane ducks under the foot and counters into a leg trap suplex, sending Stank crashing into the ring steps!
Zane takes a minute to recover, then rolls Stank into the ring. As Stank gets to his feet, Zane comes at him from behind with a German suplex into the turnbuckles! Zane is feeling it, and signals for the end, but both men have the same idea and lariat each other to the mat! Both men get to their knees, BOTH throw haymakers, and both wrestlers go down again!
Both wrestlers struggle to their feet, and for the next several minutes they go from trading bombs in center ring to trading throws and suplexes then back to big strikes. Neither man can get a clear advantage, and both score some nearfalls on their opponent. Suddenly Zane whips Stank across the ring into the corner and barrels in for a spear – Stank pulls the referee in between them, and Zane stops JUST short as the ref dives for cover! This is the chance Stank was waiting for, and he gives the distracted Myers the dreaded Russian-Serbian kick to the Urals! Zane drops, Stan covers, putting a foot on the second rope for leverage as the ref counts -
1 – 2 – 3
Winner at 16:11 – Stank!
LD Williams vs. Tommy Wilder “©”
Full match hopefully to be added; but quick ‘n’ dirty - technical and high-flying at first. Moose comes out and attacks Wilder drawing a DQ win for Wilder but as the rest of the Saints come out, the faces (Texans, Salvation, D&D, Fire) come out as well and in the chaos, Wilder is able to grab the world title and escape while security separates everyone else
Your winner via DQ in 6:44, Tommy Wilder
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Mai Muyo © vs. Christian Carter
The challenger, Christian Carter, enters first—but he looks like no challenger, as he is already carrying the stolen Intercontinental Championship high above, still flaking with dry blood. The fans are jeering him loudly—Mai has a cult following among One Directioners after all—but as the cocky son of a bitch he is, he yells louder, lording it over them all.
PA: “Who’s gonna fight for the weak, who’s gonna make them Believe?”
The true Intercontinental Champion, Mai Muyo, makes her entrance to “Hero” by Skillet, and though she carries no belt, her bright pink fireworks signal that the champ…is…here! She runs and slides into the ring, coming nose to nose with Carter. He just smirks and raises the belt before handing it to the referee—Mai leans over with a stage whisper to the referee and says “Could you wash that before I get it ba—“
But before she can finish the joke, Carter cheap shots her in the shin! She stumbles as CC jams his right knee into her gut, again and again! He wraps the neck and hits a DDT, planting the champ and going into a cover, hooking the leg. But as the referee counts two, Mai hooks his neck with her legs! She’s kicked out and trying to cinch in the Trinitarian (triangle choke) but Carter begins to cinch himself out—WAIT! Carter grabs Mai’s legs and pulls her up…
…but YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB MAI MUYO! (This is basically her main signature move at this point.) She slides out the back of the attempted Razor’s Edge and catches the neck going down for a neckbreaker! Mai mounts the big man and begins to drive elbows down, but he slips a leg in and kicks her off HARD! Mai lands flat on the mat and quickly rolls to the outside for a better view—and her first view is Carter running off the apron and LEAPING to clothesline her down! Not a big jump but a lot force—compounded in pain when Carter picks her up and SLAMS her face-first on the announce table! Carter grabs the belt and holds it right in Mai’s face yelling, “THIS IS MINE!” as the crowd boos. The referee reminds him he has to be back in the ring to win, so Carter drags Mai by her hair and throws her back in the ring as he follows slowly.
Mai rises slowly between Christian’s legs as he wants. No, not that way; he’s hooking the arm, looking for the Fall from Grace—but Mai breaks quickly, pulling out the legs and flipping the big man over for a Boston Crab! Christian Carter grabs the ropes quickly, but Mai breaks immediately, bounds off the ropes, and nails Carter with a KNEE TREMBLER to the head, knocking him in front of the turnbuckle! She looks up to th bace turnbuckle suddenly, prompting cheers as she makes the sign of the cross...we know what’s next…Mai leaps up to the top rope and jumps for the 630 SAVIOR SPLASH—but as the referee watches, Christian suddenly pulls him in…BOOM! Mai lands flush on Christian, but when she does, she kicks the referee in the head too! She tries to pin Christian, but no one can make the count, as Christian rolls out of the ring!
As Mai tries to regain her bearings after the attempted finish, Christian rolls outside the ring and grabs the championship belt…he slides into the ring and sizes up Mai with the championship….but suddenly, here comes Alexis Darling! And she’s got heavier hardware in the chair…but wouldn’t you JUST know it, as Alexis swings and cracks Carter over the back, the referee gets up! How wacky. Obviously, he has to ring the bell.
Winner in 9:35 by Disqualification…Christian Carter!
Alexis throws her chair on the ground in frustration and yells at the referee, as Carter rises laughing and growling simultaneously. He takes a step toward Alexis, but Mai joins here. She asks why, and Alexis backs her up, pointing to the belt and saying, “That belongs to me.” The three stare down…Christian raises the championship and begins to head off with it again, slowly. Alexis looks at Mai, but Mai looks at Carter and says, “Enjoy your toy,” before stepping back and climbing the top rope, taking in the fans’ cheers with a beltless raised pose.
Non-Title Main Event
Moosehead Jack © vs. Jason Allen
Jason Allen makes his way to the ring first and climbs the to the top rope and poses for the crowd. Moose and Chloe come to the top of the ramp next, and do not look happy. They storm the ring, but Allen is ready for them. He catches Chloe with a superkick that sends her staggering back to the corner, then ducks a clothesline from Moose and hits him with a PELE KICK! Allen springs to his feet and charges into the corner and nails Chloe with a flying forearm to the side of the head, then turns around and grabs Moose and sets him up for the ROYAL FLUSH but before he can hit it, Chloe charges out of the corner and nails Allen from behind. The shot allows Moose to lift Allen and hit an ALABAMA SLAM! The back of Allen’s head slams into the canvas and he is momentarily stunned.
Moose pulls him to his feet and launches him over the top rope to the floor, Chloe immediately leaves the ring and grabs a chair and slams it to the ground, then lays Allen’s head on it while Moose waits on the apron! Moose is about to leaps off the apron and drive a knee into the back of Allen’s head when Texpress, and Salvation race to the ring! Moose ducks back into the ring and Chloe escapes just before Eco can grab her. The White Hats circle the ring, Mai helps Allen to his feet. The crowd is roaring for the coming Moose and Chloe beat down, but those cheers quickly turn to boos when Stank, LD, Punswick and Carter head to the ring!
Stank and LD go after Chad and Zane, Punswick grabs Allen, and Carter goes after Mai. From inside the ring, Mai dives between the ropes and takes out Stan, and the two of them roll around on the floor hammering one another with punches. Inside the ring, Moose stands there with an amused look on his face, closes his eyes and extends his arms in a Christ pose. What he doesn’t notice is that Ecosystem has slipped in the ring behind him and is standing there with a blank expression on his face, reminiscent of his days in the Saints of Sinners. Moose soon notices the cheers and turns around and he sees Eco. Moose smirks and the two madmen stare at one another as the tension builds.
They slowly move toward one another, but before they can come to blows, LD throws Zane into the ring and follows him. Moose smirks then immediately falls on Zane and hammers him with punches to the head. As Eco moves in to stop him, LD cuts him off with a clothesline that knocks him to the mat. Soon enough all twelve wrestlers are in the ring and we have something that resembles a battle royal! Numerous officials and referees race to the ring, and soon enough, instead of trying to break it up, we get an official announcement, the match has been changed!
THE SAINTS OF SINNERS vs. JASON ALLEN, TEXPRESS & SALVATION
LD and Eco start things off, Eco is on the mat trying to get to his feet, but LD hammers him with punches to the head, then drops an elbow across the back of his neck, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes. On the rebound, LD catches Eco with a SPINEBUSTER and covers him, but Jason Allen charges in and kicks LD on the back of the head breaking it up. As the referee orders Allen back to his corner LD pulls Eco up and throws him into the Saints corner. The Saints immediately hammer Eco to the mat, with Chloe grabbing him around the throat outside the ring and bending his head back trying to pull it off his shoulders.
LD tags in Christian Carter and he comes in and waits for Eco to get to his feet and POPS him with a straight right hand to the jaw. Eco staggers away to the opposite corner and Carter pursues him and slams him face first into the turnbuckle. He pulls Eco to the middle of the ring and points at Mai, then lifts Eco for a superplex, but Eco lands a knee to Carter’s face, Carter drops him and takes a step back, Carter tries a big boot, but Eco rolls under it and lunges to his corner and tags in Mai!
Mai springs to the top rope and nails Carter with a clothesline dropping the big man to the mat. She waits for Carter to get to one knee then grabs his head and hammers him with several knees to the face. Carter is dazed and struggles to his feet, Mai charges in and tries a BURNING HAMMER, but Carter catches her and hits a BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! The move folds Mai in half and they both remain on the mat for a minute. The crowd is roaring for Mai to get to her feet. She pulls herself up using the ropes, and Carter charges at her, but she low bridges him and he tumbles over the top rope to the floor. Before Mai can do anything else, Punswick races down the apron and clotheslines her right on the back of the head. As Mai hits the mat, Carter pulls her out of the ring, lifts her up and hits an APRON POWERBOMB! Carter rolls Mai back into the ring and tags in Punswick.
JP comes into the ring and Carter lifts Mai and drops her across his knee, Punswick leaps in the air and drops a leg across her throat and covers, but Mai kicks out at two. Punswick mounts Mai and hammers her with straight rights to the face until Chad Madison runs in and breaks up the assault with a SUPERKICK to the back of Punswick’s head! JP falls face first to the mat and doesn’t move. Mai slowly crawls toward her corner with the crowd cheering her on, and just as Punswick gets to his knees, she tags in Zane Myers.
Zane comes in and hits a falling clothesline on Punswick that sends him right back to the mat. Zane then suicidally charges into the corner and attacks the Saints, nailing them all, dropping them off the apron one by one. While he is doing that, Stan Fulton decides he wants in on the action and charges in and hits a DROPLINE on an unsuspecting Punswick! Zane turns around and sees JP out and covers, but Chloe manages to slide back into the ring and break it up before the three count. She pulls Zane to his feet and throws him in the corner and flies in and catches him with a high knee to the face. As Zane slumps in the corner Chloe drops to her knees and BITES HIS FACE! Zane howls in pain, the referee finally sees what is going on and gets Chloe out of the ring.
Punswick manages to make the tag to Moose, who heads to the corner and climbs the ropes, waiting for Zane to get up. Ecosystem decides he is not going to allow this and shakes the ropes, Moose loses his balance and crotches himself on the top. Zane gets to his feet and runs to the corner and nails Moose with a forearm to the side of the head, then climbs the ropes, hooks Moose and hits a SUPERPLEX! As Zane and Moose hit the mat, Stank comes into the ring and drops a knee across Zane’s chest, which brings Chad Madison in as well! LD Williams comes in to defend his partner and soon Texpress, LD and Stank are brawling around the ring!
LD sets Chad up for the CANADIAN DESTROYER, but Jason Allen slips into the ring and hits him with a SUPERKICK, then hits the ROYAL FLUSH! Before he can cover, Chloe charges in and kicks him in the skull, lifts him and hits the CORKSCREW! As Chloe gets to her feet Stan Fulton is standing right there. The two of them go toe to toe for a moment, then Stan whips her to the ropes and catches her on the rebound with the BLACK HOLE SLAM! On the other side of the ring, Christian Carter has Mai in the corner and is hammering her with elbows to the side of the head. Eco grabs him from behind and DROPS him with a SCORPION DEATH DROP, then rolls Carter over and traps him in a DRAGON SLEEPER! Mai climbs to the top rope and hits a missile drop kick on Chloe as she stands up.
Moose and Punswick attack Fulton from behind and bring the big man down and pound him mercilessly. Moose wraps a chain around his fist and soon Stan is bleeding badly. Outside the ring, Stank slams Chad in the face with a headbutt then whips the Texan into the guardrail. Chad hits hard and slumps to the floor, Stank charges in and catches him with a knee to the face. On the other side of the ring, LD Williams runs down the apron and tries a kick to Zane’s head, but Zane sweeps his leg from beneath him, LD hits the mat, Zane grabs him and lifts him onto his shoulders and DRIVES him to the floor with a CUT THROAT DRIVER!
Inside the ring, Jason Allen saves Stank by grabbing Moose, spinning him around and rocking him with several European uppercuts, then hits a PELE KICK. Moose staggers back to the corner and Allen charges in, but Christian Carter steps in and nearly takes his head off with a kick to the jaw! Carter then turns his attention to Mai and slips out of the ring and grabs a chair and slips back in and SLAMS it across her back! As Mai staggers, Carter lifts her up and hits the FINAL TESTIMONY! While this is going on, Chloe continues to hammer Stan, smearing his blood on her shirt. The big man fights to his feet and grabs Chloe by the head and hammers her with punches to the side of the head, then whips her into the corner and KILLS her with an AVALANCHE!
Outside the ring, Stank has just PLANTED Chad with a STANK-U and he and Zane charge at one another and start fighting hockey style. The match has completely broken down, the referees are struggling to maintain control, but there is no way this is going to go back to being a match. By now, just about everyone is bleeding, chairs, chains, and any other plunder lying around is being used. In the middle of the ring, Moose and Jason Allen are fighting it out, Allen gets the better of the exchange and charges at Moose, but Moose catches him with a RANHEI! As Allen lies on the mat, with everyone else fighting on the outside, Moose reaches for the ever present scalpel in his boot, when the lights go out! There is general murmuring and yelling, and within a minute or so, the lights come back on, and we see a 20 foot ladder set up at the top of the ramp. Sitting on top of the ladder is Tommy Wilder, with what might just be, the OOWF World Heavyweight title.
Yo Moosie! Hi! Remember me? The adrenaline junkie that has your belt? I know you want this back…….and if you do, you might just want to reconsider what you are about to do there…..if my friend Jason gets cut……you know, I just might misplace the title……oh this? Nope, still not it <Wilder drops the title and it breaks as it hits the ground, being nothing more than a plastic replica> Oh dude! I am so clumsy! What if that had been the REAL title? Gotta play the game Moosie! Go big, or go home…….play by my rules, or you don’t see your precious again!
Inside the ring, Moose is LIVID! He has been staring at Wilder the entire time. He turns around to face Jason again and Allen kicks him in the gut and hits the ROYAL FLUSH! Allen covers, the referee decides this might be the only chance to get a clean finish and counts one…..two……thre…..NO! Chloe manages to get into the ring with a chair and slams it down on the back of Allen’s head! The referee has finally seen enough and decides to end the madness.
WINNERS – No Contest in 33:41
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the BLOODY FRONT, coming to you Live! Sunday July 28th from Fort Dodge, Kansas! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! Wednesday, July 24th! From Ord, Nebraska. Did you see something you really liked? Post it here in the 2013 Awards Reminder Thread. Please join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights! And be sure to check out the full OOWF Archive and read up on the 8-year plus history of the OOWF!