Midweek Mayhem (7/24) Live from Ord, Nebraska

[BookerShark]

OOWF Midweek Mayhem
Live from Ord, Nebraska
Wednesday, July 24th 2013


Special Attraction Onslaught Rules Main Event
Eric O'Mac vs. Ghosthead

Onslaught Title Match
Amazing Jos (c) vs. Chris Evans


Moosehead Jack & Stank vs. Tommy Wilder & Zane Myers
Danny Taylor vs. Alexander Darling
LD Williams vs. Chad Madison
Mai Muyo & Alexis Darling vs. Saints of Sinners (Christian Carter & Jeremy Punswick)
Pretty Hate Machine (Firewoman & Miranda) vs. Salvation (Stan Fulton & Ecosystem)
Jason Allen vs. The Word
Chloe vs. Matt Folz
Banned from Everywhere vs. Murphy's Law



Card subject to....it's fucking Nebraska. Nothing happens in Nebraska.

[BookerShark]

We see Jaime McAllister looking over this weeks lineup and shaking her head as Matt Folz comes out of medical holding an icepack over his injured jaw. Jaime runs up and hugs him.

JM: Everything ok?

MF: Nothing broken. Just a small bruise. This fucking doctor though...

JM: What?

MF: He asked if he was invited to the wedding. Are you fucking kidding me? Just like the rest of the assholes in the locker room, I had 4 or 5 of them ask me tonight if we set a date and if they were invited. Like I give a shit about any of them. Maybe we should call up our friends right now, hop a plane to Veg..

JM: Let me stop you right there. Do you ever want to have sex with me again?

MF: What?

JM: Do you ever want to have sex with me again?

MF: What kind of question is that?

JM: Just answer the question.

MF: yes, of course.

JM: Good, now I'm going to give you a chance to rethink what you were about to say previously.

MF: Um... we should have a big wedding? In a church, and it will be very fancy and elaborate?

JM: I thought that's what you were going to say, see, like they always say: Marriage is about compromise.

MF: Yes dear. You were shaking your head when I came out here, something else bugging you?

JM (Nodding to the lineup on the wall): Just, I don't get it. Your worthless piece of shit partner tonight doesn't pull his weight in the ring, knocks you out, and LOSES the match, and yet he gets a Championship shot next week?

MF (Laughing): While I don't disagree with anything you just said, I don't feel upset about this. A. It's a title match, so Chris will embarrass himself and choke horribly as he always does. and B. it's an Onslaught Championship match, I have higher ambitions than that. I'm actually glad I'm facing Chloe this week.

JM: Hon, I don't know. She's....

MF: Fucking insane?

JM: That. She's not the same girl you once trained, she's got serious mental problems.

MF: That she does. But she's also Moose's newest protégé, and I intend to use this match to send a message to our World Champion.

JM: Which is?

MF: I'm coming for him, I don't care if I have to go through all the Saints to get to him, I'm coming for that World Championship, and I am going to win it. To put it in terms he'll understand: I am the next OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Trust Me.

Folz kisses Jaime and the couple walk off as we..... FADE

[BookerShark]

*LJ Bennett is looking over some paperwork as he walks into his office. Once inside he notices a chill in the air. He looks up from his papers and stares at his desk in the semi darkness, noticing nothing amiss. He flips on the light switch and still notices nothing scanning the room until he spies Ghosthead sitting on a couch staring at him. Absorbing the chill from the air down his spine, Bennett flinches with a start.*

LJB - M..Mr. Mann... how can I help you?

Ghost - Why have you pitted me in a match against Eric O'Mac?

*Bennett walks over to behind his desk and lays down the paperwork, taking a seat. He leans back and interlaces his fingers across his belly.*

LJB - Personally I thought it was a stroke of genius. You seem to have a grievance with him and in this company we tend to settle grievances in the ring?

Ghost - Truly? What if I have a grievance with you?

LJB - Uh... th..that.. uh..

Ghost - Relax LJ Bennett. You hold no blood debt to me. You are not worthy of combat in the warrior's square. Similarly neither is Eric O'Mac. There is no grievance as you say.

LJB - Are you.. refusing a fight?

Ghost - I am the Ghosthead Killer, The Death Knell... I never refuse combat.

LJB - Then why are you here?

Ghost - Eric O'Mac is beneath my notice and is unworthy to face me.

LJB - He is a two time World Champion, Intercontinental, Tag, and pioneer of the Onslaught Championship. I can think of few more worthy.

Ghost - He is a facsimile of the man you describe. A pretender. A sad soul who plays at bravery, but is truly terrified at his own broken legacy. I should not be subject toward repairing injured egos. I hold claim to the OOWF World Championship. I prevailed against every warrior put in front of me.

LJB - You just lost to Alexander Darling.

Ghost - Define... lost.

LJB - He... pinned your shoulders to th-

Ghost - I AM NOT HERE TO DISCUSS ALEXANDER FUCKING DARLING!!!!!!

*LJ Bennett cringes in his seat at the sudden outburst and jumping to his feet from The Death Knell. We have never seen Ghosthead like this, nor heard him use profanity. It is quite the scene and the wild looks in Ghosthead's eyes scream murder... Bennett is about three seconds away from calling security when the expression on Ghosthead's face softens. The Death Knell shuts his eyes and makes several hand gestures in an attempt to calm himself.*

Ghost - Forgive me. What I meant is that I should be competing for titles, not wasting time with the likes of Eric O'Mac.

LJB - You can cash in that briefcase anytime you want.

*Ghosthead slowly opens his eyes.*

Ghost - Your master would not approve of that now would he?

LJB - If you are referring to Moosehead Jack... he is NOT my master.

Ghost - You would have me believe the reverse is true?

LJB - Believe what you want Mr. Mann.

Ghost - Ghosthead.

LJB - ... Very well... Ghosthead... Believe what you want so long as you know that you WILL be facing Eric O'Mac at the next Mayhem. As for your other ambitions... they have been duly noted. Now... is there something else I can help you with?

Ghost - You could die.

LJB - Excuse ME?

*Once again Ghosthead closes his eyes and calms himself.*

Ghost - Apologies... I am... having trouble... containing.. ...

*Ghost waves his hands in ornate gestures and draws in and out long deep breaths.*

Ghost - What happens to Eric O'Mac will be on your head LJ Bennett.

LJB - Are you alright?

Ghost - No.

*Without another word Ghosthead walks out of Bennett's office leaving the GM dumbfounded as we break for ads.*

[BookerShark]

The scene opens up in the Saints of Sinner’s locker room, where everyone, except Christian Carter is leaving. Punwick, Stank, and LD head out, and Chloe is walking Moose out with their arms interlocked, and Chloe stroking his head as if to tell him everything is alright. He looks as the door closes. He brings up the green bag, which he opens, and pulls out the IC title, still stained from Mai’s blood. Carter has this gaze, and he sort of snaps out of it.

CC: Mai Time huh? Think this is a joke Mai? You think what happened out there tonight as a joke. The Saints of Sinners are the strongest force in this company, and it will burn brightly. We have the power to just about anything, and we will use that power to TAKE (saying as he shows the IC title to the camera) whatever we want.

You talk about my career, my reputation…lady…if you can even call yourself that, YOU will have NO CAREER when I’m through with you, and you will think twice before you open your mouth, except when you blowing your brother!

Let me tell you something you bitch, if it wasn’t for the cunt Darling, this title would be mine, and your 105 day reign as IC champion would end. Then, your 4th longest reign would be nothing but a memory. Just like the bunch of legends that you so artistically tried to represent as a meaning of something. No I don’t know those guys, and I don’t care. They are not Saints, and that is the only family I care about, next to my own family.

But surprise, surprise what did Mr. Bennett do, he gives me and Jeremy Punswick not just you Mai, but Darling as well. And that is going to be nothing more than a message to the two of you. That you can not go around here acting stupid, in the face of The Saints.

So as punishment of your stupidity Mai, and that of Alexis Darling, I am keeping this IC title. Mai, you can’t beat me, and you won’t beat me. The Saints are running this show, and the Power…will not diminish. Welcome Mai, to the New World…The World of the Saints of Sinners.

[BookerShark]

*OOWF House Show*

The OOWF is in the midst of one of their developmental house shows and we're coming up on intermission as The Vermonsters are putting the final touches on a win over Kiwi Joo & Sim Sebow. As the bell rings to end the match, instead of the Vermonsters music we hear "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" as the lights go out leading into Porecelain & The Tramps "King of the World" and the spotlight illuminating the entrance. We see the hooded Alexander Darling step out to a massive ovation. He soaks it in for a moment as The Vermonsters and Kiwi & Sebow all leave the ring. Darling has something in his hand as he slides under the bottom rope and takes a perch on a turnbuckle. The crowd finally dies down.

Alexander: Been a while, right?

The truth is I just haven't had a lot to say recently. It's not that life is great, but it sure as fuck hasn't been bad for me. I have a great wife, I'm getting along with the family members that matter to me, and I've helped a friend overcome a dark point in his life. So, my life has been good. But, my career...the thing I always thought my life was based on, has just kinda been happening. And I'm not sure that's necessarily a bad thing.

I know, I know...it's shocking to hear me not worry about my place and where I stand in the grand scheme of things, but here's the bottom line and the truth of the matter...I KNOW I'm the best ever. I may have been trained by guys with a higher profile right now that go out there and say it and I work with a few people who think this is just hot air, but deep down, they all know the truth. When you think about everything that makes a wrestler great, I'm great at all of it.

This isn't arrogance or anything like that. It's just finally understanding that there is nothing I need to prove to anyone else or even myself anymore. I know what I am and what I can do.

And I get that this sounds like a retirement speech...it isn't. Because while I may not have anything to prove anymore, it doesn't mean I don't like showing just how great I am. And that I don't like putting everyone who dares disrespect me and mine. So, first things first...I hold in my hand a Run DEA #5 Jersey. A jersey most recently worn by one Zane Myers of Texpress. I've kept my mouth shut for the most part about this because the truth is you were part of Run DEA and I can't deny that. And the other thing is my wife, especially, and my sister, to some degree, but kind of like you and Chad. But these jerseys, they're earned and the fact is you never EARNED them. 4 of them exist. That's it. Myself, Lexie, Fire, and Davin. No one else is DEA. And I know you'll come out and claim Run DEA and DEA are two separate things and they are and that's why I've never publicly said anything about the Texans and the Run DEA jerseys...but then you go and throw it away like it doesn't mean a thing. THAT, I have a major problem with Zane. And the time will come when you and I, or Chad and I, or the both of you and myself get in this ring and we settle all the animosity that has always existed between us. That day isn't now, but it may be soon or it may be later, but here's the thing...I will mess with Texas because I'm not afraid of the horns. Wanna know why, because I'm Alexander Darling and you don't fuck with me.

Moving on...Christian Carter...or as he should be called, the New and Not Improved Alexander Darling. Your New World is coming, well, so what. Because your New World will still exist in my world and as shown by you refusing to step up against me, your world will pale to the mine. I'm better than you in the ring. I'm better looking. My wife is hotter. I've achieved more in bigger places. And the guys you're running with, they all know what I can do. So before you decide I've disrespected you, ask Chloe, ask Stank, and especially ask Moose if they think you can step to me. Because they'll tell you that you can, but you're a smart man Christian. Don't listen to their words; look into their eyes and see their souls for then you will know the truth. This isn't your new world, because it's still MY WORLD and I've just let you exist in it.

And Ghosthead...the man who is on the list of men who almost ended my career. It's a short list and one your brother doesn't even have a place on. You sent me falling and the truth is I am just now rising. I've fought physical wars with Moosehead Jack, I've fought mental wars with Poe...but no one, not ever has put me in the positions you have. And I'll admit, what we've been through has made me doubt myself more than anything else. And these last 2 weeks, I got the wins but we both know they were tainted. And I get that in this business; your issues with Taylor and Fire had an effect on what was happening with us, but the day will come when we will also settle our differences. I've interfered in your plans for the future, but the fact is what you were trying to do was deeply personal. And I've not let things between us hit that level, for the most part. What I will say is in this ring you are one of my toughest opponents ever and one day, I would like for us to truly find out who the better man is. But that day isn't this week, because this week you face the one other man who has taken me to the very physical wrestling limits of my body. Do not take Eric lightly, Ghosthead, because if you do, you will lose.

As to what the future holds for Alexander Darling, no one knows. But what I can tell you is this, I do feel naked without a belt around my waist so that will be happening soon. And secondly, if you want to make your name in this company, try me. That fucktard in the general manager's office has this thing called an open contract. My signature is already on it. Just walk in, sign your name, and try me. Two things will happen, you will lose and you will be better for it. Because when you face Alexander Darling, you're facing the very best this company has.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

(The scene is a radio studio where we see Chloe dressed in her usual garb, branding iron and bloody towel on the table beside her, sitting in front of a microphone with headphones on. The man at the control board holds up his hand and then begins to speak.)

JJ: Good morning, JJ Johnnie James with Party Line on 1060 AM, KNLV in Ord, and this Wednesday night the OOWF comes to town and we're joined by someone with not only a history in the OOWF, but some history here with KNLV. She'll be facing Matt Folz Wednesday night, Chloe Neal, good morning.

(Chloe simply nods.)

JJ: You know we here carried your late father's radio program for quite some time and he always spoke so lovingly of you and your sister. He was proud of the way you two succeeded in such a short time in this business. How hard was it for you to be away from him when he passed away.

(Chloe stares daggers at JJ.)

Chloe: I am not here to talk about the old man. I am not here to talk about my pitiful sister or her girlfriend or my poor widowed stepmother and her two squalling brats. I am here to discuss the OOWF and the most powerful organization in professional wrestling today, the Saints of Sinners.

JJ: (Looking uncomfortable) Yes, well, after your father's death you came back to the OOWF as a part of the Saints of Sinners, primarily at the behest of their current World Heavyweight Champion, Moosehead Jack. Can you describe the relationship between the two of you?

Chloe: (Looking dreamily) How...how do you describe the relationship between someone who is so much better than you, and still he accepts you for all your flaws and failings. Jack is a three time Grand Slam Winner. He is on his most dominant run ever as a Champion. And for all his success, all his power, he has...forgiven me.

JJ: Forgiven you? In what way?

Chloe: I FAILED HIM! He counted on me to not be weak at last year's Hell on Earth. I...cost him his place in the OOWF. He entrusted my sister and I to have his back when the Saints of Sinners rose six months ago. Like a fool I let her take me from his side.

JJ: That was when your father died. It was only right for you...

Chloe: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE! I should have been by his side. I am not going to make that mistake again.

JJ: So is your relationship of a romantic nature?

Chloe: (Looking at JJ) Would you say, JJ, that your relationship with Jesus Christ is of a romantic nature?

JJ: What? Well...I mean...

Chloe: You see, JJ, Jack saved me. He forgave me my sins against him and the Saints, he forgave me all my failures, and for that I truly love him. He has saved me from a life of mediocrity and boredom. I have pledged to him, and to the Saints of Sinners, my eternal loyalty. He believes in me, and for that, I truly love him, but not in any physical, earthly manner, but in a spiritual manner. He guides me every day. He gifted me this branding iron, he gifted me this towel with the blood from my father and his lover that died a quarter century ago. How could I not love him? I love him and follow him in the same way that you follow your Jesus. He believes in me. And I believe in him. Fully, faithfully, completely.

JJ: (Very nervous) You face Matt Folz this week...

Chloe: Little Matty, you should listen to your slutty girlfriend. Jamie knows that I'm not at all the same person you trained. I can climb that mountain, lift those weights, but now I hit harder, faster, and stronger than ever. Being in the gym is one thing. But there's a difference between that and tearing people limb from limb in a fight club. Jack taught me that. He taught me to win if you can, lose if you must, but always, always make them bleed. And I will bleed you, Matty. Trust me.

(Chloe begins giggling, and the giggling turns to insane laughter. JJ tries to say something to close the interview, but finally just plays a commercial as we....)

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is on the speakerphone with...someone.

FW: No, it's fine. I'm totally over it.

V: ....Are you really?

FW: Doc...I invited him to be part of the White Hats. I would never have done that before.

Dr.F: You also have the tendency to take bigger steps than you need to, just to prove your strength.

FW: Well.....I'm fine. It's fine....

Dr.F: Would you like to know what I think?

FW: *sighing with annoyance* That's what Alex pays you for.

Dr.F: I think you're suppressing your lingering...let's call it "apprehension," but you are also worried about exposing Miranda to Ecosystem.

FW: She's a perfectly fine wrestler--

Dr.F: That's not what I mean. I can see how protective you are of her, are you even going to let her tag in?

FW: ....

Dr.F: Well?

FW: I think our hour is up.

Dr.F: It is....and I have my answer.

FW: So?

Dr.F: So, that's fine, but you need to be sure you're conscious about what you're doing and why.

FW: Fine. Okay. We done?

Dr.F: Yes, Fire...talk to you Tuesday.

FW: Like clockwork....

Firewoman disconnects the phone as Miranda comes in from her room.

M: OMIGOD, I just watched "The Rise and Fall of Trinity!!"

Fire stiffens a bit, then shakes it off.

FW: And?

M: It was SO ROMANTIC!!!!

FW: It...

M: The way Alex came to save you and you tried to tell him that you were almost okay, but you couldn't tell her your plan, but maybe he knew and he just let you torture him and --

FW: Miranda....

M: And then he came and got you and took care of you and --

FW: MIRANDA.....focus.

M: What?

FW: First, you have a very VERY warped sense of what is romantic.

M: Seriously, that is so much better than Twilight. I'm totally on Team Alex for you.

FW: Is there another team? Wait...stop....no, don't answer that. You were supposed to be watching it to be a little prepared for Junichiro's mindgames.

M: Oh...well, yeah, there was that....

FW: *rolling her eyes* Awesome. Now...about this date with Justin.

Miranda throws herself down backward on the couch, as only a 19-year old can, arms out, with excessive drama.

M: I wanted CHAD to win.....This is HORRIBLE.

FW: No, it's not.... Justin is....well, he's.....nice.

M: NICE?

FW: Look, you'll go, you'll have a good time, hilarity will ensue....then it'll be over, and you can get your brain back on training.

M: Fiiiiiiine......

Miranda gets up and goes to her room sulking. Firewoman heads to the bar and pours herself some whiskey, despite it being 1 in the afternoon.[/i]

[BookerShark]

Alexander Darling is talking with an OOWF sound crew member, when Dynamite Danny Taylor heads over. Danny nods to the sound guy, and then to Alex. Alex nods back.

Alex: (to sound guy) we can finish up later.

The sound guy nods and heads off. For a while, Danny and Alexander just stare at each other, neither saying anything. Finally Danny just smiles and points at Alex, and then points at himself. Alex smiles as well.

Alex: Yeah, me and you this week.

Danny points at both of them again, and then throws a thumb over his shoulder before waving his hand side to side in the "iffy" gesture. Alexander seems confused for a minute, and then it clicks and he chuckles.

Alex: Yeah, this one will probably go a little different then our last encounter.

Danny shakes out his leg and mock grabs at his ankle.

Alex: Hey, it's not exactly like you where a picture of sanity yourself "Mr. Blood of my Mentor on my Face".

Danny seems to get a serious look on his face at this and him and Alex have a stare down, before both break out into a little bit of laughter. Danny points to himself and does the cuckoo motion next to his head while tapping his head.

Alex: Yeah, that was a fun time for both of us. This one should be a little more of a crowd pleaser I'm thinking.

Danny nods in agreement. Danny then pulls out a lighter and lights it up. He points to the flame, and frowns a bit. Then he points to himself and Alex again and shakes his head no. Alex nods in understanding.

Alex: Look Fire is a strong and independent woman. Whatever problems you and her are having, are problems you and her are having. I get that.

Danny smiles and turns to walk away. Alex grabs his arm and stops.

Alex: Just don't cross the line.....then it becomes my problem got it.

Danny locks eyes with Alex for a minute before smiling and nodding. Alex nods back and the two leave as we....

FADE

[BookerShark]

We come up in the BFE locker-room, where Justin Sane is sitting in front of a computer. He stares at it intently before randomly punching buttons. A few moments pass before Ellie Mae comes over to him.

Ellie: What are you doing Justin?

Justin: Playing minesweeper.

Ellie looks at the screen, where it is plainly a game of Solitaire.

Ellie: Justin, that is not minesweeper.

Justin looks at her with a confused expression.

Justin: I'm not playing it on the computer.

Ellie is just about to ask what he means, when the door bursts open and Awesome Bill from Dawsonville bursts in jar of PCPL in hand. He sees Justin and makes a beeline for him.

ABFD: Awww Hell son! Why ain't you dresafied yet?

Justin looks confused...well more confused.

Justin: I am dressed, I'm even wearing clean underwear.

ABFD: Well good, that's a start, but we need to get you redyfied for your Hawt Date.

Ellie: She's actually going through with it.

ABFD: He won this here date fair and square.

Ellie: Yeah, but....nope I got nothing.

Justin: Huh?

ABFD: You done what beat that Billy Madison fella and now have a date what with Fireladies Protongey.

Justin: I did?

ABFD: Damn right you did, now come on. We have to make you presentable for a lady.

Ellie: Ahh what the hell, come on Justin what's the worst that could happen?

As Ellie says this, a nearby potted fern explodes causing everyone but Justin to duck for cover.

Ellie: What the hell was that.

Justin: (looking not the least bit surprised) Minesweeper.


FADE

[BookerShark]

Jos is backstage, getting his leg, taped up.

After the trainer finishes, Jos puts on a leg brace and looks into the camera.


Jos: Chris Evans. I want you to get a good look. I want you to see and take note that my leg hasn't completely healed 100 percent.

I've had it taped up ever since you tried to injure it a few weeks ago and been trying to cover up this "weakness" of mine.

After our tag match on Mayhem, you showed me your biggest weakness. So in return, I show you mine.
You made me realize that besides the fact that you are vain, you have a delusional view of yourself and you're a pussy, your biggest flaw is your fear of failure.

You're so worked up on proving you're the best, you'll do anything to look stronger than your competition. Even if it's the pussified way out. You're so fixated on never admitting someone else is better than you, you'll do anything to prevent that from happening.

Well, after all this time we've been doing this dance, we finally get one more showdown. Next Wednesday will be your opportunity to either prove yourself or admit that the current "Onslaught Champion" is the best in OOWF, today!

If you beat me, I can live with myself and continue to prove why I am the most "Amazing" wrestler on the OOWF roster! If I beat you, can you live with yourself? The second that bell rings, i'm going to put the pressure on you and i'm not getting off your ass until I knock you out!

As for the Saints of Sinners, I want you all to remember this.

You girl scouts wanna try and mess with me backstage? Let's do this in the ring and see how many licks you can get off Mr. Amazing? Chloe, Punswick, you both will get yours especially! Justice is coming in the form of a smoke cloud and a mask! Bet money!

No matter what happens, i'm leaving it all on the line on Wednesday! Pray no ones face gets rocked off!

[BookerShark]

(A busy Friday night as Matt Folz and Jaime McAllister are at the maitre'd booth at Calamity Janes Steak House in Ord. They walk over to a bench while Matt just shakes his head.)

MF: Ten minute wait, in a one horse town like this.

JM: Now Matt, everyone says it's worth it. This is the best steakhouse for two hundred miles.

MF: Probably because it's the only steakhouse for two hundred miles.

JM: Matt, you saw...

(Jaime looks up at the far wall and sees a familiar face. One she hasn't seen in months.)

JM: Matt, is that what I think it is?

MF: Son of a...it is...

(They walk to the far wall and see a cardboard cutout of the twins' father, holding a big steak, and the accompanying caption Proud Sponsor of KNLV and American Sunrise. Behind the cutout on the wall are pictures of the twins' father with what looks to be local patrons, old pictures of him in the ring, and the newest photo, a picture of him with Power and Glory. The photo bears an inscription; “To Jane, for 30 years of fun, food, radio and wrestling. We love you.” It's signed by the twins and their father.)

MF: Huh. Maybe he was a big deal. Well, around here, anyway.

JM: Sad. He was a good man. He treated us well.

MF: Yeah, but look at that little nutcase he left behind.

(At that moment, over the loudspeaker we hear “Folds, party of two. Folds.”)

MF: Country hicks...

JM: Honey, let's just enjoy the night.

(Matt takes Jaime's arm and they are escorted to their table, an intimate table close to the back. As they order and their salad is brought to them, a waitress comes up and hands Folz a note. He laughs and hands the note to Jaime. The note reads, “Ditch the blonde bimbo, meet a real woman tonight at 10pm room 28 Rodeo Inn Motel.”)

JM: Matt!

MF: Oh, like I'd leave you tonight for anything. Hell, any night for that matter.

JM: Aren't you curious?

MF: Let's see, spending the night with some pig in a poke, or since this is Nebraska, some heifer, or spending the night with the most beautiful woman this town has ever seen? No contest.

(The meal progresses as their steaks – or in Jaime's case, a chicken breast – is rolled out on a large serving tray on a cart. The waitress places Jaime's entree in front of her, while Matt's platter is set in front of him. The waitress smiles as she takes the large serving tray...and smashes it into Folz's face and he falls over backwards in the chair. She pulls off her wig to reveal Chloe in way too much makeup again.)

Chloe: Specialty of the house Matty. Thought you'd enjoy this since you decided to decline my invitation. Oh wait, not enough au jus.

(She reaches under the cart and grabs her branding iron and rips Folz's head open. She then picks up the big man and powerbombs him into the heavy oaken dinner table which groans for a moment before collapsing.)

Chloe: There, just right. Enjoy your meal, and don't forget to tip your waitress.

(Chloe starts to leave as Jaime checks on Matt. She approaches the beautiful blonde and grabs her arm and pulls her in close and kisses her on the cheek.)

Chloe: A year ago, we could have made beautiful music, but now...you're not worth my time or energy.

(Chloe pushes Jaime down on top of Folz and laughs.)

Chloe: See you Wednesday night, Matty for dessert. Trust me.

(Chloe runs out the door laughing maniacally as police sirens wail and we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

Carter sits waiting patiently as Chloe walks into the Saints Hotel suit. He is the only one there, and she looks confused.

Chloe: Where's Jack?

Carter: Gone...I see your handiwork is BEING noticed.

Carter motions towards the TV, and you see the local news about an attack on a wrestler who is in town for a show, a Matt Folz.

Chloe smiles, a hint of...arousal on her face...and you can see the too much make up on her face.

Chloe: What can I say? He turned down getting his ass kicked in private. I needed...the release...

Carter: I wonder, with all your talent of getting into places unnoticed, if you can do something for me?

She looks at him, as he gets up, has a piece of paper in his hand, and hands it to her. She looks at it, and has an evil grin on her face.

Chloe: Really? You're asking me to get this...wow. Really?

Carter nods, as he speaks.

Carter: Yes please.

Chloe: Wow. No problem. I'm assuming this address is where you want this delivered?

Carter: Absolutely.

Chloe: Sure, anything for the Saints. But first, I have to get this crap off my face.

[BookerShark]

We see Chloe alone, entering room 28 at the Rodeo Inn Motel. She flips on a light switch and immediately goes down in pain as Matt Folz punches her in the spine. Matt follows that up by kicking her full force in the jaw.

MF: I appreciate you telling me where you were staying, saved me the trouble of tracking you down. See, if you want to attack me after a match... I get that. If you want to jump me as I'm leaving the gym after a workout, or you want to jump me in a parking lot... Shit, I've done that, I'd be a hypocrite to complain. If it was just a case of Moose ordering you to attack me because I talked about winning the World Championship, not only do I accept that I expected it. But what you did crossed the line. I don't give a shit what you did to me, I'm fine. But to wait and do it in front of my fiancée and then assault her afterwards, for that you must pay.

Folz picks up Chloe and nails her with an Angle Slam onto the floor. Then he picks her up and drills her with another one, sending her through the flimsy motel bed. Folz then grabs two chairs he brought with him, slides one under the unconscious Chloe's chin and uses the other to hit a one man Con-Chair-To.

MF: This isn't close to over yet. You wanted to get in my head? You wanted to make this personal? Congratulations, you got exactly what you wanted and it was the biggest fucking mistake of your life. Wednesday night I'm not going to try to outwrestle you. No no no, I'm going to beat the shit out of you.

Folz walks away, leaving Chloe unconscious as we..... FADE

[BookerShark]

<Folz walks into the hall, and nearly walks right into Moose, who is standing there with his arms folded and a smirk on his face. Folz immediately knows whats up. He turns around, but Stank catches him with a straight right to the jaw that sends him staggering. LD kicks an off balance Folz in the gut and hits a CANADIAN DESTROYER on the floor! Carter and Punswick pull Folz to his feet and they throw him back into the hotel room and slam him face first into the mirror, which shatters, leaving Folz's face a bloody mess. As Folz struggles to get to his feet Carter grabs him and hits the EVENT LEVEL EXTINCTION! Punswick grabs one of the chairs and slides it onto Folz's ankle, then leaps off the bed DRIVING the chair onto his ankle Folz howls in pain and grabs what could be a broken ankle and writhes in pain. Moose finally walks into the room and looks at Chloe who hasn't moved. He looks at Carter and Punswick and nods, and they grab Folz and pull him to his knees, Moose slumps in a chair and stares at Folz. Moose smirks again and lights up a cigar, takes a deep drag, and blows the smoke right in folz's face>

MHJ: Drew Estate Tabak. One of my personal favorites. I know how much you like a good cigar Mr. Folz. Now Matty......I know you are going to take this personally.....and I am fine with that. You see, it seems Mr. Wilder has set a bad precedent in the OOWF locker room. Since that little adrenaline junkie has been able to live while having my title for nearly a month now, people seem to think we aren't to be taken seriously. You see that woman over there?

<Folz just glares at Moose, Moose grabs his chin and jerks his head sideways so he is looking at Chloe>

MHJ: She means something to me. And you hurt her. For that, I must hurt you Matty, and I will. Before I do though......I am going to give you one word of warning, if you want to fuck with me.....if you want to really try to get my attention.....so be it. But you better send that pretty little bride to be of yours away. See, while LD and Stank may have lines they will not cross.....when I am pushed, I have no such lines.

<Moose takes another drag off his cigar and once again blows it in Folz's face>

MHJ: It's a shame really Matty......deep down, you are a Sinner. A Sinner in its purest form. A mercenary, someone who has no morals, no qualms, no problems hurting someone. You could easily be one of us.....but your pride just will not allow that, will it? I tried to stay out of your business, but your pride just wouldn't allow it. You know the saying right Matty? Pride cometh before the fall

<Moose nods at Punswick and Carter again and they drag Folz over to the window and open it and throw Folz out, holding on by the ankles (one which might be broken, so that has to hurt like a bitch) Folz yells, but does not apologize or relent. Moose nods again and they pull him back in and shove him toward Moose, who lifts him and hits a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER on the floor. Moose stands over Folz then turns and walks out of the room. Carter lifts Chloe and puts her over his shoulder and follows, and we fade>

[BookerShark]

FADE back in on room 28. Laying amidst the carnage is Matt Folz. A rather beefy arm (and no, it's not Trogdor) is helping him up as he’s regaining consciousness.

MF: “What? Who’s there?”

Folz is finally able to focus and sees it’s The Crusher Stan Fulton.

MF: “What are you doing here?”

SF: “Jaime called Mai. Mai called me. Here I am. C’mon, let’s get you out of here and cleaned up. Jaime’s worried. I told her I’d call her when I found you.”

MF: “I guess the message I sent was received.”

SF: “More than likely. How’s the ankle?”

MF: “Twisted, but I don’t think it’s broken. Seriously, why are you here? I haven’t exactly given a crap about you.”

SF: “Nope. You’ve been a right awful git to everyone who was your friend before, Matt. But that’s the thing about friendship, Matt. As much as one would like to break away from those friends, it has to be mutual.”

MF: “Dear god...”

SF: “Yes He is. But that has nothing to do with it. Your fiancée and my friend are friends. You’re not getting rid of me and my loathing of the Packers that easily.”

Fulton says that with a smile and Matt cracks a smile as well.

MF: “The Vikings still suck.”

SF: “And now all is right with the world. Y’know, Matt? You’re not a White Hat, and frankly the White Hats wouldn’t embrace you, but they and you are fighting the same enemy.”

MF: “You proposing an alliance? And I notice you never said ‘we.’ Are you a White Hat?”

SF: “I’ve never said one way or the other. Chad, Zane, Fire, Danny. They are White Hats. They are not only fan favorites, but they’ve been good guys all their careers. I haven’t.”

MF: “But you are now, aren’t you?”

SF: “Some would say that and some would not.”

MF: “Your current partner’s still nuts, you know that?”

SF: “Some would say that and some would not.”

Folz rolls his eyes as the two near the front desk.

SF: (to the Desk Manager) “Here. This should cover all the damages.”

Fulton pulls a couple hundred dollars off a large bank roll and hands it to the manager.

MF: “When did you become so wealthy?”

SF: “What have I spent it on? I drive a Kia. I have a small dressing room instead of a suite or a Destroyatorium. I still have most of the money I’ve made here.”

MF: “Can I get five bucks?”

SF: “Sure, Justin.”

Both laugh as Folz is helped into the passenger seat of Fulton’s Kia.

MF: “This doesn’t make us friends.”

SF: “Nope.”

MF: “Christian Ponder is horrible.”

SF: “Nope. Greg Jennings wanted to play with someone who appreciates him.”

MF: “Fucker.”

Both men smile as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

We fade back in to Stan and Matt's car trip back to the hotel, conversation still in progress.

MF: Did you really with a straight face say that Fire's been a good guy all of her career?

SF: Yes?

MF: The same woman who was part of many backstage attacks as a member of the Five? The same woman who literally TRIED TO KILL ME in the middle of the ring, before being stopped by Moose of all people? This is the same person we're talking about?

SF: Perhaps I misspoke there.

MF (laughs): Perhaps you did.

The two continue to banter back and forth about the Packers/Vikings rivalry and how to fill the 7 long weeks between now and the first Sunday of the season, when Stan pulls up to the hotel.

MF: Thanks Stan, I mean that.

SF: You're welcome, do you need help inside?

MF: Nah, I'll be ok.

Folz steps out of the car and can barely put any weight on his ankle.

MF (Wincing in pain): FUCK!

SF: You're sure you don't need any help?

MF: I'll be ok, thanks Stan.

SF: God be with you Matt, I'll keep you in my prayers.

MF: If anything, pray a good quarterback falls to pick 13. I heard you're joining our league this year.

SF: That's right.

MF: As defending champion, I look forward to laughing at you wasting your first 2 picks on Jennings and Ponder. Just to let you know, there are no bonus points for sitting out games with minor injuries and shooting incredibly bad Old Spice commercials.

Stan just shakes his head as he drives off. Matt limps very slowly to his suite, where a concerned Jaime is waiting. Jaime runs up to give him a big hug, and you can hear Folz loudly wince in pain.

JM: Baby, I was so worried. Are you ok?

MF: Nothing life threatening, but I wouldn't say I'm ok. My back, ribs and ankle are all hurting like a bitch.

JM: You can't keep doing this.

MF: Doing what? Wrestling? I hate to break this to you hon, I'm a college dropout, I am not qualified to do anything else.

JM: I'm not asking you to retire, I'm asking you not to keep going 6 on 1 against the Saints Of Sinners.

MF: Not like I went there intending for a 6 on 1, I went there looking for revenge on Chloe.

JM: And you should have anticipated the other 5 would be there, or at least close by.

MF: Probably.

JM: Promise me: No more backstage attacks for a while, ok? I'd kind of like my husband to be able to stand up in our wedding pictures.

MF: I can't promise that. I will promise to TRY, but if I'm provoked, I will defend myself.

JM: Considering that's probably the best I'm going to get out of you, I'll accept that for now. Do you need anything?

MF: Yeah, could you go down to the front desk and see if they have any ibuprofen? And grab me some ice too please.

JM: Sure.

Jaime kisses Matt and walks out as we...... FADE

[BookerShark]

(Chloe is unconscious on her bed in the Saints of Sinners locker room. It looks as if someone has placed the barbed wire crucifix and her hands on her chest. What looks to be some sort of altar in commemoration of Moosehead Jack is nearby. She softly groans, stirring, then suddenly sit upright, panicked and alert.)

Voice: Moose, she's awake!

(Chloe turns and sees Christian Carter sitting there. He smiles at her, and she remembers the attack in the motel. She touches her jaw where Folz hit the Con-Chair-to and grimaces a bit, but she eventually returns the smile. Moose enters with LD Williams, Stank, and Jeremy Punswick.)

Moose: You OK?

Chloe: Nothing wrong another beatdown of Folz won't cure.

Moose: Once again, you've proven invaluable to the Saints. His ankle is now vulnerable. Take him out, win or lose. Hurt him.

Chloe: Whatever you say Jack, for the Saints.

Moose: Rest for now, we have a lot more to do.

Chloe: Wait, Mr Carter's mission...

Carter: ...can wait a day or two. No big hurry.

Chloe: No, I'm fine. Strike while the iron is hot.

Moose: More feeding, Chloe?

Chloe: ...yes, Jack. I want more.

Moose: Carter, I want you and Chloe to come up with a good plan. Make it happen.

Carter: You've got it, Moose.

Chloe: I won't fail you, Jack.

Moose: Just don't let Carter down.

(All but Carter and Chloe leave the room.)

Carter: You're good?

Chloe: You have no idea.

Carter: You know, if anything ever happens....

Chloe: It won't. Ever. Jack saved me. Jack forgave me. I will forever belong to Jack and the Saints.

Carter: OK, just making the offer. The New World of the Saints is just beginning.

Chloe: Oh yes, trust me. Now, let's talk, and without the prying eyes....

(Chloe points to INCy, who wisely takes off as we....)

FADE

[BookerShark]

We fade back in to the hotel where Firewoman walks up to Stan, Matt, and Jaime.

MF: What the hell are you doing here?

FW: Jaime called me.

MF: WHAT?

JM: Just...listen....

FW: You don't like me, and nearly none of us on this side like you. And while Rev. Crusher here has amnesia it appears, you've got no reason at all to trust me.

MF: Good. We are in agreement.

FW: But....

MF: You're not going to lay some "enemy of my enemy is my friend" bullshit down on me, are you?

FW: No, don't be silly. I don't buy that anymore than you do.

MF: Good...

FW: However...the enemy of my enemy can still be a valuable ally. What just happened with Jaime and Chloe is the tip of the iceberg. Moose has no boundaries. I know because we're a lot alike, despite his beliefs to the contrary.

MF: So you want me to join your little resistance movement.

FW: *shrug* Do what you want. But your friends are right. Six on one against the Sinners aren't great odds.

Fire walks away, and runs into Zane getting some Aquafina out of the hotel vending machine.

ZM: Hey, Fire, what's--

FW: You know, Zane, you asked me to try and get people over to our side, right?

ZM: And..?

FW: So I did. I went to Folz, and Evans, and people that hated me to try and convince them. Dude...I even went to Ecosystem.

ZM: *angrily* I did NOT want you to do that.

FW: Whatever, it made sense. Founder saves his own company, blah blah blah.

ZM: And your mental health is too important for you to--

FW: Shut up, this is about the jersey.

ZM: What? OH for gosh's sake, that wasn't a--

FW: I am TRYING to get Alex and Alexis on board, and that didn't help.

ZM: It's not like I threw it in the garbage it was just--

FW: Save it. You know how he is with stuff like that.

ZM: Yeah, yeah, I heard the speech.

FW: I'll do what I can to make this not a disaster. In the meantime kindly focus on strategy and organizing like you're supposed to, and quit making what you asked me a harder job than it already is.

Firewoman storms off, and Zane just shakes his head angrily and goes off to find Bridgette.

Fire arrives at the suites, and walks in. Miranda is blasting music, while Alex is trying to concentrate on something.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hDZbroaQDc

M: OMG Fire...you and Alex should use this for your theme music for Phoenix Rising!!

FW: *still annoyed, and not really listening* We have music.

M: OMG--

FW: Are you really saying Oh-Em-Gee?

M: --I just realized that Alex has a phoenix tattooed on his chest--

Alex looks up and he and Fire briefly lock eyes and then look quickly away, as this is not a part of their history either of them like to revisit

M: And now your team is called Phoenix Rising!! That's so--

Before Miranda can get the word "romantic" out, Firewoman superkicks the radio, which effectively shuts the song down, and sends sparks flying.

M: Hey!

FW: It's not romantic. In fact, it's the very opposite of romantic. Not everything is romantic. Some of it is just ... really horrible. Leave it alone.

Firewoman storms off to her room. Lucky comes in.

L: *sigh* One new radio, coming up.

Lucky leaves. Miranda looks at Alexander confused.

AD: Sit down, I'll explain it.

FAAAAAAAADE

[BookerShark]

Stank - Billy Dee.

LDW - Yup.

Stank - I ever tell you about the first time I wrestled against Texpress?

LDW - In RunDEA?

Stank - Hell no. I wrestled them long before that in Mexico.

LDW - Mexico eh?

Stank - Yeah way back in the day.

LDW - This wouldn't happen to be around the time you were screwing around with a vampire Salma Hayek?

Stank - No this was a little bit after Salma and I had been making sweet, sweet, love to the melodic, electric guitar play of Grammy award winning, Los Angeles based, rock band, Los Lobos.

*From off-screen* FW - IT WAS CARLOS SANTANA!

Stank - WHATEVER Woman! GET OUT OF MY PROMO!

LDW - I'm not doing this again with you.

Stank - What?

LDW - The last time you told this story you made me say insulting things about my homeland.

Stank - I didn't make you say bad things about that show. It wasn't even on the air then.

LDW - I'm talking about CANADA!

Stank - Canada ain't no TV show.

LDW -

Stank -

LDW -

*LD Williams rises from his seat and heads for the door. Once there he turns the knob to leave but...*

LDW - This door is locked.

Stank - Yup.

LDW - Open the door Lucas.

Stank - Did I ever tell you about the time I first wrestled Texpress in Mexico?

LDW - *sigh*

Stank - I think I should start at the beginning.

*LD Williams drops his head and slowly walks back over, taking a seat by Stank.*

Stank - You see Texpress were fresh out of High School contemplating their future.

The scene fades to Stank standing in an apartment complex parking lot. His girlfriend stands in a balcony two stories up, throwing Stank’s things down at him while he tries to calmly respond to her. He dodges shoes and some of his old trinkets as they rain down on him from above. She is not happy.

SFJ#5 – You’re SO goddamn SELFISH Lucas! I am NOT happy!

Lucas – Sweety it’s MY BROTHER! I can’t just LEAVE HIM there!

________ 

LDW – REALLY? You're going tell this story again?

Stank – I have to start at the beginning. 

LDW – I ALREADY KNOW this part! Cursed Pistol, Young Rey Mysterio, Machete, Vampires! 

Stank – Don't forget Salma Hayek 

LDW – I haven't forgotten about Salma Hayek..  SKIP TO WHEN YOU MEET TEXPRESS?

Stank – *Sigh* Fine! 

LDW - Texpress were fresh out of High School contemplating their future...

*Stank rolls his eyes.*

Stank - Right. They were out of High School sittin in Myers back yard.

The scene fades to a rare cool day in Converse Texas. A man wearing a Judson Rockets High School T-Shirt and a silver mask with red trimming walks around a large, well manicured back yard, kicking at the grass. He looks suspiciously like LD Williams wearing a mask. Sitting on a nearby lawn chair is a much larger black man, also sporting a silver mask with red trimming and wearing a Judson Rockets High School shooter shirt. This one looks much more conspicuously like Stank wearing a mask. The bigger man speaks with an exaggerated Texas drawl.

Lucios - Hey Chad?

Phantos - Yeah Zane?

Lucios - Whatca doin?

Phantos - Kickin sheeit. What you doin?

Lucios - Ahm Thinkin.

Phantos - Bout wut?

__________________

LDW - WAIT!

Stank - What now?

LDW - Is THIS why you and Attitude Adjuster had me wearing that get up a couple of months back?

Stank - Stop interrupting the promo Billy Dee.

LDW - I didn't know what we were doing.

Stank - Well now you know! Can I finish?

LDW - By the way. They don't curse.

Stank - Who's telling this promo, you or me?

LDW - I'm just saying.

Phantos now suspiciously looks like Attitude Adjuster wearing a mask.

___________________________

Lucious - We should play football.

Phantos - My shitkicker ain't no good after that last play during regionals.
____________________________

LDW - FINE! I won't interrupt the promo anymore.

Stank - You just did!

LDW - Put me back in.

Stank -

LDW - Come on coach.

Stank - Okay. Whatever... and maybe you're right about the cursing. I like to keep my stories as authentic as possible.

LDW - HA! You mean like the time You and Capslock's ancestors formed the first Drink & Destroy back in the 1800's?

Stank - You know Alan makes a pretty good Phantos.

LDW - Okay, OKAY! Authentic yes sir. 

Stank - Right. Anyway...

Phantos goes back to looking like LD Williams under a mask.
_____________________________

Lucios  - Dang it, Chad. I don't wanna work on mah daddy's ranch fo the rest of mah life. I got dreams.

Phantos - I got dreams too, Zane.

*Cue sleazy Jazz music as the scene fades to a masked Phantos walking onto a set and disrobing in front of a naked Stormy Daniels lying provocatively on an oversized pink bed.*

_______________________________

LDW - OKAY! I have to stop you here.

Stank - You promised LD.

LDW - I know I promised, but come on!

Stank - It's authentic. Everyone knows Chad likes to fu-

LDW - I didn't shoot a scene like that!

Stank - You sure?

LDW - It... .. .. I... ... I'm a married man Stank.

Stank - Nothing happened.

LDW - YET!

Stank - I wasn't going to go too far with it.

LDW - Is this REALLY integral to the story?

Stank - Fine we'll just skip this part. You get the idea anyway. Chad is a poonhound.

LDW - Alrighty then.

__________________________

Lucios -  Mah uncle Boomhauer is vistin us from Arlen today. We should ask him for advice, I tell you what.

Phantos - That's him right thar, ain't it?

Boomhauer - Whydon'tyouboyshemminghawindang'olstepindagummmdoinofemdarJim'sfoeatinhamindawng, I tell you what.

Lucios -

Phantos -

Lucios - Sure. I could eat.

____________________________


LDW - You understood that?

Stank - Yeah anyway, Texpress agreed to go with uncle Boomhauer to Jim's restaurant where they met some local Indy Wrestlers.

______________________________

BT - What's up fellas? Mah name's Booka. I'm the five time, five time, five time, five time, five time fruitbooty champion! Dis here's mah brotha Steve.

SR - Yo suckas gots to know... what's up wit dem masks?

Phantos - We was born wit em.

Lucios - They are a part of who we are.

BT - I can dig that.... suckaaaaa!

SR - We gots a friend who likes to wear a mask too. Here he come now. Yo lil Rey Rey!

RR - BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
_______________________________


LDW - Oh no. Not this again.

Stank - What? Without Rey Rey I would never have wrestled Texpress back then.

LDW - Just... Just... finish your story.

________________________________

Phantos - Please to meet you... Rey Rey is it?

Rey - BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!

Lucios - He didn't say that. TELL ME he didn't just SAY THAT?

BT - I should use that!

SR - Yo, Suckas gots to know! Why don't chall try wrestlin like us?

Phantos - Wrasslin? I don't know.

BT - You already half way there, dog. You already got the masks.

Lucios - Wrasslin... that sounds like fun.

RR - BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!

Lucios - Does he say anything besides that?

SR - It's a condition. Just roll with it.

Phantos - Alright. We'll give wrasslin a shot.

BT - NOW CAN. YOU. DIG. THAT.....
_______________________________

LDW - SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Stank -

LDW - Sorry.

Stank - Anyway... Texpress along with Harlem Heat and Rey Rey went to Ivan Putski's training school a couple of towns over... then they eventually followed Rey Rey to AAA where I had just recently negotiated the release of my brother from Antonio Pena's custody.

LDW - Yeah. You never did tell me why Pena was holding Jared in the first place?

__________________________________

Bartender - ... Pistola?

RR – THAT’S what it was. PISTOLA!

*Everyone in the bar jumps.*

RR – Anyway… he pissed off the bartender plenty. Some of those unsavory characters... not like these boys here in this fine establishment, but real scum, they got pissed too. Started pulling guns and knives…

_____________________________________

LDW - NO! NO! I already know this part! Skip ahead.

______________________________________

*Salma Hayek assists Stank upstairs. Once there she attends to his wounds while Stank sits silently staring at her ample bosom.* 

SH – Hello? I’m up here!

Lucas – Oh. Sorry. It’s just…

SH – No. It’s okay. Kiss me.

Lucas – Say whaaaa?

SH – Kiss me you magnificent specimen of a man!

_____________________

LDW - RIGHT! SKIP!

Stank - Oh COME ON!
_______________________

Cheech  - This is a pussy blow out! Alright, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow puss-

____________________________

LDW - NEXT!
___________________________

*Salma Hayek runs off the stage and jumps into Stank’s arms, kissing him all over.*

Lucas – How?

SH – Shhh.. mi amor. Not now. Just make love to me.

Lucas – Whaaaa?

SH – I want you inside-

_________________________ 

LDW - You have an unhealthy obsession with Salma Hayek. SKIP TO THE PART WITH JARED!

Stank – Fine! I brought the pistol back to Antonio Pena and he allowed me to leave with Jared.

LDW –

Stank –

LDW –

Stank –

LDW – AND?

Stank – Oh yeah. Antonio Pena was so impressed by what I had done he offered to take Jared and I under his tutelage. We wrestled for his organization and in our second match we took on Texpress in a six man tag team match. It was Phantos and Lucios with Lil Rey Rey vs Me, Jared and a young Rookie by the name of Francis Ferdinand Capslock.

LDW – Ah So you're bringing FF Capslock into this story?

Stank – He was there.

LDW - So who won the match?

Stank - Child please.

The scene cuts to Lucios who still looks conspicuously like Stank wearing a mask, sitting on a bench, sulking.
_______________________________

Lucios - That Lucas Mann hombre is a HOSS of a man! I don't know what I was thinkin tryin to fight him!

Phantos - And his brother fought like a man POSSESSED! I can't believe we got beat so BADLY!

RR - BOOYAKA? BOOYAKA?

Lucios - Yeah that Francis fella said he caught himself a marlin when he knocked you out with the Pride of Fresno. I tried to help you Rey but we was simply outclassed.

Phantos - I'm scared. I hope I never have to fight them again... especially that Lucas Mann guy!

RR - Yeah. He Stank!

Lucios - Don't SAY THAT! He might hear!

Phantos - Yeah you know what happens when you mess with the bull!

____________________

Stank - Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.

LDW - 

Stank -

LDW - *sigh* So what happened?

Stank - I DID hear. So I went in their locker room and beat the shit out of all three of them... you know... just because.
__________________________

Lucios - We just got F'D up!

Phantos - Lauguage Zane!

Lucios - Well ahm SORRY CHAD! It's TRUE! That thar Lucas Mann is TOO great of a wrassler! How could we EVER have possibly thought we could beat him? We never stood a chance!

Phantos - Yeah imagine if he ever partnered with an even greater wrassler! A man who could just unload on us with CANADIAN VIOLENCE! The greatest Canadian wrestler to ever step into a squared circle. Someone who could make what Lucas Mann just did to us look like tiddlywinks!

Lucios - I don't see that happening.
____________________________________

LDW - Why not?

Stank - Cause it's MY promo!

LDW - Your promo sucks.

Stank - You carry a lot of pride for your country.

LDW - I do.

Stank - You suck.

LDW - I do not.

Stank - That's it. You're out.

LDW - You know when we shot this I was promised more lines.

Stank - Is that why you keep interrupting me? More lines?

LDW - Alan promised me.

Stank - Well you've ruined everything, you know. I didn't even get to the part wear I gave them custom made T-Shirts that said "I Just got my ass kicked by the greatest wrestler in all of ever!"

LDW - Shawn Michaels?

Stank - NO, NOT FUCKING SHAWN MICHAELS!

LDW - The OOforums voted Shawn Michaels as the-

Stank - Fuck OO! Why would you even endorse that shit?

LDW - I'm just saying.

Stank - You didn't even want to hear this story, did you?

LDW - Sure I wanted to hear it. It's sounds accurate.

Stank - Damn right! Everything you just heard happened exactly like I said.

LDW - 

Stank - 

LDW - SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Stank - Really?

FADE

[BookerShark]

<we cut to the BFE locker room where Justin is sitting at the computer still playing mine sweeper, though it suspiciously looks like Candy Crush. Bill spies him and walks over to him>

ABFD: Son, what you doin’ here? You gotta prepaitize yourself for your date with Miranda Rights!

JS: I do?

ABFD: Well hell yeah son! You want to impressionatize youself on her and make her fall for your charms and sexualnacious proweress!

JS: I have sexualnacious proweress?

ABFD: Hell yeah! Yous like onnna them sexy panthers! Whatchou gonna wear on your date?

JS: ummm <looking down> this?

ABFD: What? No no no son, that won’t do! That’s your rasslin gear!

JS: It’s all I own!

ABFD: Hmm, so it is. Well hell son, all I own is my rasslin gear too! How for is that possible?

JS: maybe we could get hoodies……

ABFD: Nah son, Farwoman and Alabaster Darlington already done got them hoodified jackets. Nah we need to get you fancied up! Come with me

<the OOWF logo spins and we get the dramatic batman – from the 60’s show – music, and when we see the boys again, they are in a fancy tuxedo rental place>

ABFD: This chere is Jeffrey Fussybottom……he onna………them

JS: One of…….them……..

ABFD: <whispering> you know………British

JS: Like Gay For Pay?

ABFD: Who for what now?

JS: Weren’t we feuding with them?

ABFD: We was?

JS: We was?

<A long pause here, finally Justin and Bill both shrug and get back to it>

ABFD: Anyhow, ol Jeff is gonna fix you up! Make you irresistible to those of the female persuasion

JS: Bill……I really appreciate this, but I don’t think……

ABFD: <putting his arm around Justin> son…..you just gotta visualatize this, you gotta be smooth like ol Billy Ray Cyrus and whatnot

<we get wavy lines, and when we come back, Bill, Justin, Chuckles Norris and Drunkey are all dressed in white tuxedos, top hat and tails. Bill and Chuckles have canes, Drunkey has a monocle, Justin looks vaguely confused. Sexy music starts to play>


<Bill speaks>
Girl you know we done belong together
I got no time for you to be playing
With my heart like this
You gonna be mine forever baby, you just wait and see

<Bill singing now>
We belongify together
And you that I'm right
Why you gotta play with my heart,
Why you gotta play with my mind?

Said we'd be forever
Like a stick poked in yer eye
How could you love me and leavify me
without sayin’ goodbye?

<Chuckles>
Juh juh juh sleep at night juh juh holding you tight
Juh, juh juh juh juh break down and cry
Pain juh juh head juh juh juh dead
Juh juh juh round and around

<all>
We done come to the end of the road
And we can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you
Come to the end of the road
We can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you

<Drunkey. Drunkey can sing?>
Girl, I know you really love me,
You just don't realize
You've never been there before
It's only your first time

Maybe I'll forgive you, eeeeya
Maybe you'll try
We should be happy together
Forever, you and I, eeeeyah

<Chuckles>
Juh juh juh juh juh juh like you loved me before
This time juh juh juh juh love me much more
Juh juh juh juh juh come to my bed
And baby juh juh juh juh down

<All>
We done come to the end of the road
And we can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you
Come to the end of the road
We can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you

<Justin>
Girl I'm here for you
All those times at night when you just hurt me
And wouldn’t let me borrow five dollars
Baby I knew about it, I just didn't care
You just don't understand how much I love you do you?
I'm here for you
I'm not out to go out and cheat on you it ain’t right
I’m gonna stay in, just stay here all night
I can’t go out anyway
I’m banned from there, BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE baby
Right now, I'm just in so much pain baby
'Cause you just won't give that five dollars back to me
Will you? Just give it back to me

(Lonely)
Yes baby my heart is lonely
(Lonely)
My heart hurts baby
(Lonely)
Yes I feel pain too
Baby please

<Bill>
This time instead, just have PCPL instead
And ‘ol Miranda, you got you a burlap nightgown?

<All>
We done come to the end of the road
And we can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you
Come to the end of the road
We can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you




[All: a cappella]
We done come to the end of the road
And we can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you
Come to the end of the road
We can’t let you go
Oh Miranda girl, I got some feelings here, they belong to you

AA: CUT! THAT’S A WRAP!

<we fade back into the tudexo shop where Bill is still standing with his arm around Justin and they are both looking up at the ceiling, like they had been watching something>

JS: Wait…..did that just happen?

ABFD: Uhhhh

AA: Justin! Baby! What a voice! The tweens are going to be ALL over you!

JS: I can sing?

AA: Didn’t you hear yourself sing that?

JS: I don’t remember doing that

AA: Well, you haven’t…….yet

JS: Then how did I just see it?

AA: It was a dream sequence

JS: <narrowing his eyes at AA> Are you a wizad?

AA: <considering for a moment> Yes. Yes I am

JS: A GOOD WIZARD OR A BAD WIZARD?

AA: Does it matter? You and Miranda are going to win me promo of the year!

JS: Me……….and……….Miranda……….

<Justin goes somewhat catatonic for a moment and another potted plant explodes, then the lights start popping and finally a mirror shatters>

ABFD: Awwww hell, this ol boy is playing mine sweeper again!

AA: He’s……what?

ABFD: You see he…..

<Before he can finish explaining, Ellie May From Elijay walks in>

EMFE: How did I know I would find you two here. And why are YOU <looking at AA> here? And what is wrong with Justin

ABFD: Catatonic. I think something done friedified them circuits in his mindspace

EMFE: <shaking her head> Bill……take Justin back to the locker room……and NO SIDE TRIPS! GO STRAIGHT BACK! Do you hear me?

ABFD: <looking like a scolded child> yes’m. C’mon Justin…….I think we’s gonna get grounded

<Bill picks Justin up, Justin is stiff as a cardboard cutout……>

AA: A cardboard cutout of #HeelJohnnyAdrenaline?

VOG: No! DO NOT interrupt me!

<……..and walks away with him heading back to the arena. Ellie May turns to AA>

EMFE: WHAT have I told you about messing with reality around them?

AA: What? So we broke the fourth wall…..a little

EMFE: You KNOW how they are! Why are you here?

AA: Did you see Spot’s promo?

ABFD: Who’s Spot?

EMFE: GO!

AA: Between that and this, I am a SHOE IN for promo of the year!

EMFE: YOU didn’t write this promo. John Roberts wrote this promo

AA: I hate that guy

EMFE: We all do. But the point is, HE wrote it, not you

AA: But he wrote ME directing it, and by HIM writing ME writing THIS promo, I…….uh oh

<we hear a rumble that slowly grows louder, AA turns to face it and Kayfabe explodes through the wall and tackles AA, they brawl through the whole store, with AA screaming for help the entire time. Ellie May stands there with a satisfied smirk on her face>

EMFE: Well……that was easy. Getting Justin back…….not so much. Chuckles…..go get Opus, one of those Buckingham Palace guard hats, the French version of the Lion King and a stuffed wallaby. With any luck, this will work……again

Chuckles: Juh

EMFE: <looking at Drunkey> Give me a ride back to the arena

Drunkey: EEEEYA

EMFE: <as they ride away> you know…..when they are together, I expect you to watch out for them…..you are the smarter of the three

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Meanwhile, Miranda is watching the Justin et al promo, her hair in curlers.

M: I...am...so....not...doing...this.

FW: Yes, you are...and that's what you're wearing?

The camera reveals that Miranda is simply wearing jeans and a t shirt. A baggy one at that.

M: You seriously want me to dress up?

FW: He is wearing a tux.

M: But I didn't...I wanted Chad to win!!!

FW: You agreed to the damn match and the outcome, no matter what.

Fire storms to Miranda's room saying something in Gaelic. Alexander comes in.

AD: Getting ready for your big date?

M: Yes.

AD: Why are you pouting? The cowboy isn't all he's cracked up to be, you know.

M: Fire wants me to dress up. Then she told me I had to go through with it cos I agreed and she called me a name in some weird language.

AD: Gaelic. And she was telling you not to be an oathbreaker. Fire doesn't like those.

FW: *walking back in* No, Fire doesn't. Here...go put this on.

She hands Miranda a simple black dress. Miranda takes it and goes off to her room to put it on, still pouting.

AD: Is that formal enough? They're wearing tuxedos...with tails.

FW: Just because she should look presentable doesn't mean she has to be as crazy as they are.

AD: True.

Miranda comes back in, curlers out and hair brushed through, with the black dress that is neither too short nor too deeply cut.  She looks very pretty.

FW: Perfect.

M: I still don't want to--

FW: You WILL do this.

M: You can't make me.

FW: No, but if you don't I'll turn you back over to your father.

An angry staredown ensues. Finally there's a knock on the door, but neither Miranda nor Fire will budget.

AD: Okay, I guess I'll get it.

Alex goes to answer the door and it's Bill, Justin, and the rest of the entourage.

AD: Hi.....everyone?

B: I am here with Justin to make sure the proprieties of this chere courtin' are observed.

AD: Oooo....kaaaaaay....

B: And I guess youse standin' in for the father of the party of the first part, Ms. Miranda Rights--

AD: Oh, no I am not. Leave me out of this part.

B: --So I is presentin' to you the party of the second party, my boy Justin here.

Fire and Miranda stop their stare down, and walk to the door. Miranda starts to laugh, but then Fire elbows her, and she suppresses it.

FW: Bill--

B: Now, I know young'uns can be impetuous, so I's set the traditional ground rules for Justin and he's agreed to abide 'em.

M: Ground rules?

B: The first and most important one bein', no paddy fingers, if ye please. Hands to yeselves. Does Ms. Rights agree?

M: God, yes.

FW: She does.

B: Fine, fine...and then of course, as keepin' with custom, ol' Drunky here'll be the chaperone. Just in case Ms. Rights chere gets any notions of sexifyin' up ol' Justin.

M: WHAT?

JS: I wouldn't mind...

B: Now now....this is why the proprieties must be observed. Impetuous!

FW: We agree....Now...one thing. Justin?

JS: Yes...Ms.....um....?

FW: You know me. You know what I do when people I care about get hurt, right?

JS: I ...yes.

FW: Well, I care about Miranda. Got it?

JS: Y...yes ma'am.

FW: And if that isn't enough....her grandfather is a drug lord. And an easily angered one. So no paddy-fingers, if you please.

JS: Yes, Ma'am.

B: Well, now that the proprieties have been observed, Drunkey, if you'll escort these two to their restaurant.

Drunkey brays, and then starts to walk...in between Justin and Miranda, doing a fine job of keeping them apart. Firewoman and Alexander look at Bill and Chuckles.

B: I reckon we shoudl discuss where this chere courtship could lead, and if'n we'd be inlaws of a sort.

There's a scene change to the hallway, where Bill and Chuckles are soon flying into it from the doorway, and the door slams.

B: Hmph....I hope ol' Justin knows what he's gettifyin' himself into. I heard them Darlin's was crazy.

[BookerShark]

Meanwhile, Chad is getting ready for his waitering gig, while Zane is watching tape. Chad is wearing his very best faded cowboy jeans and boots, and a nicely tailored silk shirt. He looks fantastic.

ZM: Well well well, shaved and everything and...*sniffs* ... nice cologne.

CM: Thanks.

ZM: Pulling out all the stops, eh?

CM: I have no idea what you're talking about.

ZM: Uh huh...look, will you at least listen--

CM: Dude...I got this!! Who here knows about women?

ZM: Hm...well, certainly not the one in a stable long term relationship with a beautiful, intelligent, supportive woman.....

CM: Hardy har har. But that proves my point. You know nothing about DATING anymore.

ZM: Dating. Is that what you call it?

CM: I am just going to go, be the most handsome and charming waiter ever, and sweep Miranda off her feet. She won't know what hit her.

ZM: Justin is not the idiot savant you think he is.

CM: Pssht, I can handle--

ZM: Okay, look. You may be Mr. Big Stud among the SFJs, but the last actual relationship you had was with a sociopath.

CM: Hey, she's gotten better....

ZM: She has, and I hope it stays that way, but your judgment is still questionable.

CM: Like I said...

Chad grabs his cowboy hat and puts it on his head, then tips it to Zane.

CM: I got this.

Chad smiles broadly and leaves. Zane shakes his head and goes back to the tapes.

[BookerShark]

PART I

The scene opens to complete darkness. Not a sight or sound can be seen or heard, until you hear what sounds like a door opening. You hear s few shuffles from someone walking around and then a loud clank sound. Two lights come on which are dimly lit. The darkness surrounds the area except for two chairs that are facing each other and one of the chairs has a person with a burlap sack over his or her head.

More walking is heard then it stops as Chloe comes skipping in and skips around the individual who is also hancuffed to each arm of the chair. She stops and grabs her branding iron, and starts poking the person. Just then the sound of a door closes, and more walking.

Christian Carter walks into view and goesc up to Chloe and wispers something to her. When he goes yo thecother chair, Chloe takes the bag and takes it off of the head. Alexander Darling staryscto squint yo get his eyes adjusted. Duct tape covers his mouth, and a cut is above his eye from Chloes stot from her branding iron. A few scrapes and bumps are visable.

Alex's vision starts to come back and he sees Carter.

CC: Good morning sunshine!

Alex does a double take and immediately shows anger in his face. He starts talking but mumbling os only heard. Carter puts his hand to his ear.

CC: Whats that Alexander? Chloe my dear, could you remove our guests verbal restraints?

Chloe looks at him for a second as confused but then gets what he means. She grabs the tape end and quickly rips it off Alexanders face causing him to scresm in pain.

AD: AHHHHHH MOTHER FUCKER.....YOU BITCH!

Chloe lifts her brsnding iron as if she goes to hit him but Carter tells her no. She looks ay Carter with thsy evil grin then puts her finger and thumb close together ad if asking Carter to hit him just a little bit. Carter smirks more and nods in aproval.

AD: Carter you sick son of a...

Before he could finish Chloes branding iron jabs him in the side of his ribs. Slex winces in painbbut comes up laughing. He starts spitting up blood and Carter looks at him.

CC: Do you think this is funny Alexander? Do you think I'm doing this for shits snd giggles? You're in some serious shit Alexander and your White Hats cannot prevent the Saints from burning down this cesspool.

You know what is funny, which ironically ties into you. You talk about how much I remind you of you, & for months, I have denied it...but, there is one thing we have in common, and it ties in with a certain tattoo you have. You have w Phoenix tattoo, and what is ironic is once the OOWF burns, once you burn Alexander, and become a pile of ash, you will pass that tourch and I will be reborn, just like the OOWF will reborn in OUR image.

AD: You want to know why I'm laughing? Iys not because I find this sitiation funny... I find you funny. "You're so calledcNew World will fail, and me and the White Hats" will see you fade out.

CC: There is that ironicy you have because O know you're wondering why it is I had dear Chloe here bring you here. You see Alexander, you just dont know when to shut up. I may have been responsible when I took you out at Wrestlemania...and beating you night after night after night hoping to show this company that Im nothing like you...by shutting you up. And it worked...until I see you're running your mouth at a house show.

AD: Thats right you fuck...

Carter punches Alex.

CC: I didnt give you permission to speak Alexander. You will learn some respect!

[BookerShark]

Carter sits back down after roughing up Alex. He reaches for something in the darkness, and pulls out his green cinch bag. He opens it up and pulls out the OOWF IC Championship. It still smeared from Mai Muyo's blood stain and Carter hands it to Chloe who hugs it and puts it to her face as if she sniffing the blood.

CC: Why was it you spoke so ill of me? Why was it you ran your mouth? Why did you make me do this to you? What does it benefit for you to bad mouth me when I never talked about a Darling...

Carter pauses for a second, and as if a light popped in his head.

CC: Oh but I did talk about a Darling...I did talk about your sister. How sweet and pathetic you are, big brother defends the honor of his bitch of a sister.

AC: Uncuff me and well see who the bitch is!

Chloe hands the title back to Carter who places it on his shoulded.

CC: I know that the history of this title, as Mai once put it, means alot to her, especially her little run as champion right now. Though I don't know who the first champion is or who holds the longest title reign, what I do know Alexander is that you have a little history with this title. A three time champion if I'm not mistaken, and yet I bet that most of the people don't remember you as a champion,

But Alexander, when this title becomes mine, and it will be mine, people will remember me. People are not going to forget the name Christian Carter, like they forgotten you. This title will be the catalist to the rise of the New World, and you, your White Hats and the OOWF, will bow in our presence and we will relush in our glory!

AD: The only glory we will see is when the Saints are gobe and burried.

CC: A fools dream Mr. Darling, a fools dream. As for dreams, I think its that time for you go back to sleep, but before you do, let me let you on a little secret, that even the Myans woulfnt know...the end of the world you fear so much...it is coming, and we are the ones to fo it.

Carter snaps his fingers and the darkness comes to light and behind Carter is the rest of the Saints, all laughing at Alex, who has a grin on his face.

AD: Ah, the mighty Saints, in all thier glory. Tell me Jack, are you really not worried? You should be, because we are going to stop all of this.

Jack walks up to Alexander, and goes to say something but stops...and reaches out to Chloe and grabs her hand. She walks, to him and he turns back to Alex.

MHJ: Nighty Night!

He turns around and heads towards the door and as Alex turns to Carter the IC title connects with Alex face and the darkness swells around him. Skank and LD grab Alex, uncuff him and drags him to the door , toss him into the trunkbof a car and closes it. Carter walks to the car and tells Punswivk where to drop him off. Camera fades.

[BookerShark]

Later in the day, we see Tommy Wilder sitting in a restaurant, when one of the OOWF reporters walks up…

SFJ – Tommy, can we ask you a few questions?

TW – Sure! Fire away!

SFJ – So, since you are laying claim to the IIWF Championship….

TW – WHOA WHOA WHOA! Who said that?

SFJ – Well, everyone assumes, since you have the belt, that you feel you should be OOWF Champion.

TW – Well, those folks would be wrong.

SFJ – Then, why…

TW – Do I have this? (setting the OOWF title belt on the table) Easy. Because Moose needed to live by his rules for a bit. Because the Saints needed to be reminded they aren’t invulnerable. Mostly though, ‘cause Moosie sure goes all emo when someone took something he supposedly didn’t care about. And that is a real riot. And when Moose’s little plan for world domination goes belly up – and it will – it’ll make for really wild times. Now, the stinky stuff could hit the props next week, next month, or next year… I’m not real long on the patience thing. So I just had to light the fuse.

Wilder stands up -

Moose, I don’t claim to be anything other than a real pain in your butt. For now. But make no mistakes, dude – I am coming for that Championship. And when I do, you’ll know it. I won’t jump you from behind, or send a bunch of my peeps to soften you up. I bring it to you all by my lonesome, and you won’t have any excuse, no “out”, and nothing you can do but watch me hold up MY OOWF belt.


Just then Chloe rushes into the scene, swinging her branding iron –

TW – Chloe! How’s my favorite little psychopath? Better watch that thing –you know the rules on hitting….

Chloe grabs the belt off the table before Wilder can react –

Chloe – I GOT IT! I DID! My Jack will be so happy! HA! Guess you aren’t that smart after all, Mr. Stakeboard! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

TW – Now, Chloe, you need to hold up for a second….

Chloe – NO! I GOT IT! You can’t have it! It’s Jack’s! I can feel his strength in it! I can smell his… wait.

TW – What? Licorice?

Chloe – This is…is…

TW – Candy? Yup. Looks pretty real, huh? Even the right weight! I got one in dark chocolate, if you want….

Chloe screams and throws the candy belt across the room, then storms out.


SFJ – Um… do you think it’s smart, antagonizing her?

TW – Nope. Not at all. Heh. Hey – chocolate?