OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Captain Cook Hawaii!
SIRIAM vs. MELE KALIKIMAKAMK is the reigning Hawaiian Island Champion and an enormous face. Siriam comes to the ring and is very no nonsense and business like. The two meet in the middle of the ring and Siriam immediately goes behind MK and takes him to the mat and rides him around and grabs a side head lock. MK quickly works his way to his feet and tries to power out of it, turns into a test of strength. MK bridges Siriam all the way back until his shoulders are on the mat, Siriam monkey flips MK over, but both men hold on, and Siriam rolls through and is not mounting MK. Siriam grabs MK’s head and pulls him forward into a front naked choke. MK manages to scoot around and get a foot on the ropes forcing the break. Siriam is to his feet quickly and waits for MK to come back to the center of the ring, he does, and Siriam immediately grabs a side head lock and takes him over to the mat, MK reverses it to a head scissors, Siriam escapes and both men spring to their feet. MK unleashes a kick to the side, but Siriam catches it and turns it into a dragon screw leg whip. MK rolls through it and leaps to the top rope and tries to spring off with a reverse elbow, but Siriam catches him in mid air and turns it into a dragon suplex, Siriam bridges and gets a two count, he pulls a groggy Mk up and whips him to the ropes but Siriam puts his head down a moment too soon and MK catches him with a face buster on his knee, then hits the ropes and takes Siriam over with a swinging neck breaker. MK climbs to the ropes and waits for Siriam to get to his feet. MK leaps, but Siriam catches him and hits a wicked power slam. Siriam calls for his finisher, he stalks MK and waits for him to get to his feet, as he does, Siriam hits a Rocker Dropper, then pulls MK to his feet and KILLS him with the Red Fort. Mk is basically out of it. Siriam locks on the Citizen Erased and gets a quick submission
WINNER in 6:35 - Siriam
JUSTIN SANE vs. YOKOZUNA WANALEIYAYokozuna Wanaleiya is the 42-time Hawaiian Islands Heavyweight Champion, stepping to the ring at an immense 497 pounds. This will be quite a test for OOWF newcomer Justin Sane. Despite this being his debut match, the 150-pound Sane comes to the ring with his head bandaged. We heard reports that he got into a tussle with a food cart on the flight over the Pacific. Sane stops on the entry ramp and interacts with the fans, the backs up, runs and dives into the crowd. We think he was trying to crowd surf, but the audience didn’t realize it and dropped him on the floor. Sane recovers and crawls over the railing, limping a bit. He builds up steam, runs and slides into the ring, but misjudges his speed and slides out the other side and headfirst into the barrier. The ref calls for the bell and begins to count Sane out of the match. Meanwhile, Wanaleiya is seated on the second turnbuckle waiting for the action to start. Sane makes it back to the ring by the count of seven, and races full tilt at Wanaleiya in the corner. Sane opens with a series of punches, chops and kicks, but we’re not sure if it’s affected Wanaleiya. Wanaleiya shoves Sane across the ring but doesn’t get up, and Sane resumes his attack with vigor.
We have with us guest commentator Poipu Wailea Ka’anapali. Poipu, Wanaleiya is a huge man. How is it that he’s 42-time Hawaiian Islands Heavyweight Champion? That means he was beat for the title 41 times.
PWK: Well, Wanaleiya has one flaw that seems to hurt him. He…
Sorry to interrupt you, but Sane just flew into the ropes, and charged Wanaleiya in the corner. But Wanaleiya rolled out of the way and it looks like Sane busted his head open on the corner post. Yes, Sane is definitely busted open.
PWK: Uh-oh.
Exactly, this looks like the end for Sane.
PWK: No, I don’t think so. See, Wanaleiya’s one flaw is he faints at the sight of blood. And sure enough, the big Hawaiian champ sees Sane gushing blood like a faucet and instantly falls on his back. Sane, staggering due to the blood loss, trips over Wanaleiya and falls on top of the champ. The ref looks like he’s seen it before and counts three for the newcomer Sane. WINNER - in 4:28, Justin Sane.
Well, that was unusual.
PWK: Not really. You think WCW had it bad when David Arquette was champ? You should see the list of people who beat Wanaleiya. The worst was when Julia Child was doing a cooking show special during Wanaleiya’s “24-7 Champ” gimmick. She cut open a salmon, and Wanaleiya fainted. Child dropped the salmon on Wanaleiya, and the salmon held the belt for 30 days.
SHASHWAT MISHRA vs. MERCURYShashwat Mishra attacks local hero Mercury before the bell rings and throws him over the top rope. SM follows him out of the ring and snap suplexes him to the floor, holds on and pulls him back to his feet and nails a release German suplex that sends Merc’s head crashing into the steel ring steps. SM pulls a dazed Mercury to his feet and rolls him under the bottom rope, then sling shots himself over the top rope and drops a knee down across Mercury’s throat. Mercury writhes in pain; Mishra makes the cover – by placing his knee across Merury’s throat. The ref makes a one count then realizes what he is doing and starts the five count of immediate warning. SM breaks the hold and pulls Mercury to his feet and whips him into the corner, he charges in and eats a Mercury boot to the mouth. Mercury climbs to the second rope and hits a flying bulldog and covers for a two count. Mercury is up to his feet first and waits for SM to get up, Mercury hits the ropes, but SM catches him and elevates him straight up in the air, Mercury twists in mid-air and connects with a drop kick to the face that sends SM out of the ring. Mercury lands, and springs up and does a suicide dive over the top rope, but SM catches him and turns it into a power bomb on the floor! Mishra rolls Mercury back into the ring, and slowly rolls in after him and casually covers. Mercury kicks out at two and turns the pin into a crucifix and gets a quick two count. Mishra leaps to his feet and glares at the ref because he thought it was a three. When Mishra turns back around Mercury is on his feet and throws a forearm to Mishra’s jaw. Mercury tries to whip Mishra to the ropes but SM reverses it and catches Mercury with a boot to the face, then pulls him to his feet and clotheslines him over the top rope. Mishra follows him out again and grabs a chair, the ref warns Mishra about using it, Mishra ignores him, the ref sticks his head between the ropes to warn him again, and Mishra turns and slams the chair into the ref’s head. Another ref rushes to the ring and calls for the bell
WINNER in 4:29 by DQ – Mercury
After the bell, Mishra, who barely seems to notice the DQ, DESTROYS Mercury with a chair shot to the head. Mishra threatens several fans and slowly walks to the back evidently content with what he has done.
SOULDRAGON vs. FIRECHILDThe ref calls for the bells and the two men head for a lockup but Firechild ducks the engagement and simply turns around and laughs at Soul Dragon. The pair circle each other around the ring before heading in for a lockup again. Firechild again ducks but when he turns around this time he simply taps his head a sys 'Ding Ding!!',some reference to last week perhaps?? The go for a third lockup but this time Soul Dragon is taking no chances and dives down for a single leg take-down, moving straight into flurry of elbows to Firechilds head. Firechild manages to roll away and suddenly looks like he's taking this seriously. The pair then move into a serious of pin-counter and recounter moves that seems to form an almost impossibly long chain, finishing when both men run the ropes and both decide to hang on just in case - the crowd erupts into a standing show of appreciation while the two wrestlers lean against the ropes taking a moment to rest.
The end comes after a drop toe hold from Soul Dragon smashes Firechilds face into the second turnbuckle - Firechild manages to get back to his feet and is barely defending himself when Soul Dragon comes off the top turn buckle with a double axe handle shot. Firechild just about manages to stay on his feet but still dazed and confused is unable to move out of the way as Soul Dragon runs the ropes, climbs up his back and his a devastating Death Blow that drops Firechild like a sack of bricks. The referees count is academic now and Soul Dragon picks up the win in 18.24
WINNER in 18:24 - SoulDragon
After the pin Soul Dragon kneels over the still unconscious body of Firechild and begins slapping his face to try and bring him back around . . . as Firechild starts to stir Soul Dragon grabs him by the throat and begins screaming at him slapping him repeatedly. Thee ref is trying to get Soul Dragon off Firechild but he's just ignoring him. After a minute of slapping Firechild Soul Dragon stops and begins to laugh. He then smacks Firechild once more before spitting right in his face, rolling out of the ring and walking away.
CAPELLAN vs. SERAPHSeraph makes his way to the ring very calmly. Cap comes out running but we do notice his ribs are taped from all the damage Seraph dished out last week. Out of the gate, Cap starts out fast just like last week. Seraph keeps ducking out of the ring and trying to apply submission holds to slow Cap’s explosive offense. It works to some degree. Cap made the first major move of the match around the five minute mark when he hit a dragon suplex and covers but Seraph got his foot on the ropes. Cap takes control, attacking Seraph’s left leg. Quick kicks to the leg and a dropkick to the knee cap sent Seraph to the ground in pain. A few minutes of this, and finally Seraph staged a comeback, setting up a quick period of fast-paced back and forth moves. Seraph appears to take advantage with a DDT, but Cap managed to reverse his way into a northern lights suplex for a close 2 count. Cap's still mostly in control until Seraph ducks a flying cross body and Cap tumbles to the outside. Seraph brings him back to the ring and like last week is busting out suplexes and other offense targeting Cap’s back and ribs. At this point, Seraph locks in the Abdominal Stretch, with Seraph further ripping apart Cap's torso/ribs. Seraph is pounding Cap’s ribs with his free hand using closed fists. Cap starts to fade and looks to be out. The ref checks his arm. It drops once, twice, the third drop goes halfway and Cap is still alive. He feeds off the crowd and lands 5 punches to Seraph’s head which breaks the hold. Cap then puts Seraph into a sleeper but this doesn’t last long. Seraph powers out and tossed Cap out of the ring, with Cap taking the bump in such a way that his lower back hit the ring apron awkwardly. Seraph continues to target the back, and starts pounding away on Cap. Cap starts bleeding from the mouth, could be some internal injuries. But he won't stay down for long. He comes back, tosses Seraph into the guard rail, and then follows up with a suicidal Asai Moonsault which Seraph anticipates and catches Cap and then drives him ribs first into the steel post. Seraph rolls into and out of the ring to break the count and then looks to Irish Whip Cap into the steel steps, but Cap reverses it sending Seraph into the steps instead. Cap is able to follow up by returning to his focus on Seraph's left leg. Cap rolls Seraph back into the ring and hits a springboard leg drop to the left leg. The match is now as long as there match from last week hitting 25 minutes. Cap tries locks in the Figure Four. Seraph is locked in for a few minutes, but then rolls over to "reverse the effect," until Cap finally makes the ropes. Seraph tries to follow up, but Cap's able to get behind Seraph and hit him rolling bridge pin for 2. Cap goes up to the top and tries a 450 splash but Seraph moved. And Cap IMMEDIATELY started selling the injured ribs rolling out of the ring in pain. Seraph follows Cap to the outside and sets up for a spot where he whips Cap ribs-first into the steel ring steps. Cap crumples into a heap. Seraph senses he's done enough damage, and hops back into the ring and mediates in a corner while the ref starts the 10 count. Cap manages to crawl in at 9. Seraph lifts Cap over his head and throws him back to the outside and sits in his corner again. Cap pulls himself up and grabs the middle ropes and uses it to spring himself forward to dropkick Seraph right in the face. Cap hits a standing shooting star and a springboard leg drop and covers for a 2 count. Seraph takes control again with a straight right to the ribs. Seraph picks up Cap for a vertical suplex and then slams him forward slamming Cap into the mat face first. Seraph whips Cap to the ropes and delivers a wicked spinning spine buster. He covers and Cap squeaks a shoulder up right before the 3. Seraph sets Cap up for a pile driver but Cap reverses it into a back drop. Cap finally gets in some offense. He continues to work on the left leg of Seraph with quick kicks. Seraph grabs one kick and sweeps Cap’s other leg from him and locks in the sharpshooter. Cap has this scouted and grabs Seraph’s injured leg and pulls it out from under him. Cap then is able to sit up and has locked in a sharpshooter of his own. Seraph struggles towards the ropes, but is pulled back to center ring. Seraph struggles towards the ropes again and finally grabs it at the 45 minute mark. Seraph rolls to the outside after the hold is released. Cap smells blood and follows Seraph keeping the assault on the leg going. Seraph grabs the ring steps and looks to nail Cap but Cap dropkicks the steps back into Seraph’s face. Seraph is now busted open. Cap rolls Seraph back in the ring and then immediately got the figure four locked in. Seraph got a rope break. But Cap AGAIN with the tenacity! He immediately yanked the spent Seraph to the middle of the ring, applied the Indian leg lock. Seraph somehow gets to the ropes again and holds on for dear life. We are at the 50 minute mark. Cap goes to the top and tries a moonsault that comes up empty. Cap is again clutching the ribs. Seraph limps over to him and applies a rear naked choke. After a minute or two Cap is able to roll backwards pinning Seraph. Seraph is forced to release the hold to avoid getting pinned. Both men up and Seraph takes control with a kick to the ribs. Irish Whips into the corner by Seraph. Seraph sets Cap up for a superplex. This time Cap counters in midair hitting a cross body. The pin attempt gets 2. Both men are up and dog tired. Seraph comes in for a clothesline but Cap ducks it hits the ropes and comes back with a spinning dragon kick. Seraph is out cold but Cap is unable to get the pin right away. When he does manage to crawl over to Seraph and pin him Seraph is able to kick out right before 3. Both men stay down while the ref counts. Both get up at 9. Cap goes for another spin kick but Seraph ducks it and then hits the Propitiation. Both men are again on the ground and the bell rings. The ringside announcer gives the official ruling that this match has reached the hour time limit and is a draw.
TIME LIMIT DRAW AT 1 HOUR.
CHRIS ALT vs. MR. JEALOUSJealous stomps down the aisle first and paces the ring, muttering to himself. Chris Alt makes his way to the ring, stopping to greet several fans on the way. As Alt gets close, Jealous sprints across the ring and dives through the ropes, taking Alt down. Jealous fires away with forearms to Alt's face as the referee tries to get them in the ring to start the match. Jealous picks Alt up. Irish whip reversed and Jealous hits the ring post face first. Alt throws jealous into the ring and rolls in after him. The ref calls for the bell as Alt drops a knee to Jealous' face. Alt picks him up and hits a suplex, followed by a running neck breaker. Alt climbs the ropes and connects with a flying leg drop. He lifts Jealous to a sitting position and kicks him in the spine. With Jealous dazed, Alt signals for the Dragon Sleeper. He locks it in! Jealous struggles and manages to get his feet under him. Alt goes limp, trying to drag him back down, but Jealous reaches back and powers Alt over his shoulder, breaking the hold. Jealous shrugs Alt into position and hits a tombstone pile driver. Cover, One…Two…Alt rolls the shoulder to escape. Jealous picks Alt up and backs him into the corner. Knife edge chop takes Alt off his feet, and Jealous follows up with knees to the head. Alt blocks the third knee and twists the leg, causing Jealous to lose his balance and fall into the ropes. Alt comes off the opposite ropes and hits a running dropkick that send Jealous to the outside. Alt springboards into a plancha that levels Jealous. Alt attempts an Irish whip, but Jealous holds on, pulls him back, and drills him into the floor with a power slam. The ref's count reaches seven before either man stirs. Jealous rolls in at nine and rolls right back out. Jealous drives Alt's spine into the ring apron before rolling him back in. Jealous throws Alt to the ropes and attempts a spear, but Alt leapfrogs and comes off the opposite ropes with a Flying Burrito. Alt covers for two. As Jealous starts to get up, Alt comes off the ropes and nails a Shining Wizard. Alt signals for the Spinal Contusion! He tries to pick him up, but jealous blocks it. Alt with forearms to the back and makes a second attempt which is also blocked. Alt goes to the ropes and hits another Shining Wizard. Alt goes for the Spinal Contusion, but Jealous manages to reverse it and hit the Jealous Rage. Jealous falls on Alt and neither man is moving. The referee makes the count. One…Two…Three. WINNER in 17:27, Mr. Jealous.
DRINK & DESTROY vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELSFFC extends his hand towards AA. AA is hesitant, but takes the hand and receives a firm handshake. FFC then tags out to Stank, who gives him a perplexed look before locking up with AA. Stank and AA lock up and Stank forces AA into the corner. Stank breaks at four and then open palm slaps AA across the chest. AA quickly tags in JA, who demands a piece of FFC. Stank obliges and JA tags AA back in. They lock up and FFC easily over powers him. AA begs off and FFC actually backs away with a smirk on his face. JA calls AA over and whispers in his ear. AA extends his hand and gives FFC a handshake while simultaneously tagging Johnny back in. JA nails FFC with a top rope clothesline and puts the boots to him. Impressive snap suplex follows and AA is tagged in to drop a few elbows. He sits FFC up and rains down closed fists strikes while screaming “This is what you get for sleeping on top of me.” The crowd picks up on this and starts chanting “You’re a homo.” AA yells at the crowd to shut up, and then tags in JA right before blasting FFC in the face with a basement dropkick. He queries the crowd with “Who’s a homo now?” And the crowd replies with a resounding “YOOUUU!” JA nails FFC with a hangman’s neck breaker, holds on, and hits a spinning neck breaker for 2. AA’s back in and drops two knees to FFC’s head before kneeling across his throat for a four count. Stank is getting restless on the outside so AA drags FFC to him and offers his hand for the tag. AA slaps Stank and Stank enters the ring. AA demands that the ref attend to this illegal participant as JA sneaks in to nail FFC with a kick to the nuts and they hit a spiked pile driver. The ref turns just as AA covers FFC. Stank pulls AA off at the last second and shoves the ref away as he pounds on AA, whips him into the corner, avalanches him, and murders him with a running boot to the face. He gets out of the ring at the ref’s insistence as JA tries to drag FFC back towards his corner. FFC uses the last of his strength to hit a mammoth enziguri. He makes the slow crawl and AA leg drops him across the back of his head. He stumbles over and tags in JA, who wastes no time and locks in a sleeper. FFC is fading but tries a back suplex. JA displays his forgotten athleticism by landing on his feet and taking down FFC with a reverse DDT. He says that’s it and attempts the Adrenaline Rush~!!! FFC counters with a face first suplex and rolls to his corner for the tag. Stank is blazing as he runs over JA with a lariat and boots AA off the apron and into barricade. Stank destroys JA with a running power slam and a huge splash. JA barely rolls the shoulder at 2 and retreats to his corner where AA is still out of commission. JA eats a vile clothesline and Stank signals for the Stank U~!!! AA finally recovers and grabs Stank’s leg. Stank drags AA into the ring and AA drops the golf club he’s holding as Stank starts beating him down. JA helps uneven the odds and FFC evens them back and all four are brawling. JA goes to swing at Stank as the ref escorts FFC back to the apron and Stank instinctively catches in his beefy grip. JA drops to the mat like he’s been shot just as the ref turns back around. Stank is caught throwing the international object (Made in Taiwan) out of the ring and the ref rings the bell. JA gets this huge grin that screams “I can’t believe that finally worked” as AA pulls him out of the ring before Stank can kill him.
WINNERS in 22:19 The Chickenshit Heels
THIM REYNOLDS vs. CORAXThim comes to the ring first, and as usual stands in the corner with his arms folded across his massive chest. Thim is sporting a nice set of stitches from the chair shot from Corax last week. Corax makes his way to the ring, looks at Thim and pints to his head and laughs. Thim doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t appear to be breathing. The bell rings, and Thim springs into action, charging across the ring and shoving Corax into the corner. Thim then proceeds to unleash a barrage of knife edge chops, like he is trying to cave in Corax chest. After just a few of these Corax chest is beet red, he tries to ducks between the ropes to escape, but Thim grabs him around the waist and hits a belly to back suplex that folds Corax in half. Thim get to his feet and calmly stands there snarling at Corax, as soon as Corax starts to get up, Thim grabs the back of Corax head and drives Corax mouth into his knee. Corax comes up spitting out blood and what appear to be teeth. Thim snapmares Corax over and unleashes some stiff kicks to Corax back. Thim slams him to the mat and covers, driving his elbow into Corax throat. The ref counts two before he realizes what Thim is doing and gives him a warning. Thim glares at the ref, and pulls Corax to his feet and traps him for a belly to belly suplex, but Corax fights out of it with several head buts to the bridge of Thim’s nose. Thim staggers a bit, Corax rocks Thim with several tajiri kicks to the sides of Thim’s legs and ribs. Corax steps back and goes for the finish kick to Thim’s head, but Thim ducks and grabs Corax around the waist and throws him with a release German suplex, but Corax rotates through and lands on his feet, Thim turns around and eats a super kick to the mouth. Corax covers but only gets two. Corax pulls Thim to his feet and sets the big man on the top rope and climbs up after him and tries a superplex but Thim blocks it. Corax tries again, but can’t get it, finally he releases the hold and head buts Thim on the bridge of the nose again, a quick glance over his shoulder to see if the ref is looking, he’s not, Corax bites Thim on the bridge of the nose, then leaps straight up and catches Thim in the side of the head with a shining wizard. Thim falls from the top rope, hits the apron and then falls to the floor. Corax slides under the ropes and comes back into the ring with a chair, the ref immediately warns him to get rid of it. Corax calms the ref and drops the chair over the ropes where lands resting against the ropes. Corax points to the corner and tells the ref the turnbuckle padding is coming loose, the ref goes to check on it and Corax sprints across the ring and baseball slides into the chair, Thim had just been getting to the apron when the chair slams into his head sending him sprawling to the floor knocked goofy. Corax gets up and calls the ref over; he sees Thim out on the floor and begins the ten count. Thim tries, but can’t quite make it to his feet and Corax wins by count out.
WINNER in 12:51 by count out – Corax
Thim gets to his feet and realizes what happened, Corax takes off up the ramp pointing at his head and laughing. Thim argues his case with the ref; the ref refuses to change the decision so Thim levels him with a short arm clothesline and locks him in the Adjustment until he passes out. Thim leaves the ring and charges to the back after Corax
CHRIS COLE vs. MICROPLAYLock up to begin and CC snatches a head lock. MP maneuvers out of it and into a hammerlock. He ducks the elbows aimed at his head so Cole grabs the ropes to break. MP breaks clean and they tease a second lock up before CC kicks MP in the gut and hammers away at his back. Irish whip/clothesline combo ducked and MP retaliates with a high drop kick that sends CC crashing to the mat. CC rolls out of the ring for a breather. The ref restrains MP at CC’s request and rolls back in. CC offers to lock up a third time, but this time MP catches his foot, spins him around, and clotheslines him down. Another clothesline is followed by a big elbow drop for two. CC gets a jaw breaker as MP attempts to follow up. Big right hands lead to an Irish whip/high knee combo and a knee drop to the head for 2. CC chokes him for a count of four and backs off before doing it again. MP climbs up with the ropes and CC sends him tumbling to the outside with a clothesline. CC introduces MP to the ring apron before sliding him back in and catching him with a running boot to the side of the head. Pin gets 2 and CC locks in a neck wrenching chin lock. MP tries to fire up out of the hold, but CC douses that flame with a modified over the knee neck breaker for another 2 count. Leg scissors applied and MP makes the ropes. Ref has to force the break and threatens to DQ him next time. CC blows him off and walks directly into several fists to the gut but ends that flurry with a knee to the head. Delayed vertical suplex gets another two and CC says that’s it. He pulls MP up for the Head Liner~!!! but MP counters with a double leg take down and a float over pin for a long 2. MP ducks a clothesline and arm drags CC across the ring, before drop kicking him into the corner. Diving forearm is immediately followed by a bull dog for 2. CC retreats to the corner and thumbs MP in the eye. Hot shot in the turnbuckle follows and CC attempts a school boy with some rope assistance. Ref spots it and CC gets in his face about it. MP recovers and after a quick counter exchange is sent to the ropes. CC attempts a spine buster, but MP counters with a DDT. Both men down. CC up first, but MP throws the first few punches before attempting a whip to the corner. It’s countered, but MP jumps onto the second rope. CC hammers him in the kidneys and attempts a back suplex but MP elbows free and turns around. CC recovers and uppercuts him. MP nearly falls backwards out of the ring. CC positions himself on the top rope and they fight over the superplex. MP manages to get the best of the exchange and drives CC to the mat with a sunset bomb. MP scrambles back up top and connects with the Super Splash~!!! for the win.
PHIL vs. DONOVAN VIPERThe match is announced but neither man comes down the entry ramp. Since this is a Falls Count Anywhere, the ref can’t start a 10-count, so he goes up the ramp to find either Viper or Phil. The camera follows the ref to the back, and we make our way through the hollows of the arena. Nothing to find in the hallways, but there is a commotion further down the way. Just as the ref passes a restroom, Phil stumbles out with a toilet seat hanging around his neck! Viper is in hot pursuit, and the ref decides this is as good a time as any to start the match. Viper is ramming a toilet plunger handle repeatedly into Phil’s ribs (though in retrospect do zombie ninja lawyer robots have ribs?), and Phil is screaming “Yar!” each time Viper connects. We’re not sure if Phil’s hurt or enjoying it. We’re pretty sure Viper’s enjoying plunging something into another man, however. The fight continues down the hallway, with Viper grabbing everything he can and using it as a weapon in hopes of slowing down the big man. Viper spots a conveniently placed bundle of clangy poles and whips Phil into them, creating lots of clangy noise and an impressive visual as the robot is entangled in metal poles. Viper goes for a pin, but the ref claims Phil’s shoulders aren’t pinned to anything, so the match goes on. Viper grabs a clangy pole and chokes out Phil, then grabs a clangy pole connector and tries to gouge a hole in Phil’s forehead! Viper goes looking for more weaponry, but when he returns he’s met with a swinging toilet seat to the head! The toilet seat disintegrates as if it were a prop!!! (Kayfabe, dude!) But Viper sells it like the real thing and falls in a heap on the floor. Phil crawls over for the pin but Viper kicks out at two. Phil grabs Viper by the hair and leads him to the parking area. Whip into the rolling garage door! Phil charges into the door and crushes Viper! And the garage door is busted off its hinges! The fight continues into the parking lot and to the nearby beach, where (surprise, surprise!) there’s a luau. Viper and Phil fight through the luau. Phil grabs some smoked pig from the fire and smears it in Viper’s face! Viper, blinded by the succulent pork, stumbles into randomly placed hula girls. Blinded, Viper is reaching out to steady himself and grabs a handful of hula bOOb! Viper stops, the hula girls stop, the music stops. Viper takes a second feel, then a third, then recoils with a horrid grimace on his face. “EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!” Viper screams. The Viper contains himself. “I mean, wow, what a hot chick. I really dig feeling up hot hula dancers. But unfortunately I have to get back to this match with Phil.” Phil takes that as reason to start the match and pile drives Viper into the sandy beach. But since a pile driver into sand doesn’t hurt that much, Phil drags Viper to a randomly placed car. YARPLEX ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!! Viper is out cold! But before Phil can go for the pin, THE WILD SAMOANS jumps Phil from behind! Phil tries to fight off Afa and Sika, but makes the mistake of smashing their heads into each other. YOU CAN’T HURT SAMOAN HEADS!!!!!! The Wild Samoans double headbutt Phil, knocking him to the ground. They each follow up with a falling splash, then go off to the luau for dinner. Meanwhile, both men are out cold, and the ref starts a 10-count. The ref reaches nine and neither man has stirred, but since the booker man says this match can’t end in a double count out, Don Muraco attacks the ref for no apparent reason!!!! Muraco hits a reverse pile driver on the ref!, then goes off to eat dinner with the Wild Samoans. Meanwhile, Phil and Viper are back to their feet and have resume the match. They make their way back to the wrestling arena, and Phil is setting up a pile of barriers, cardboard boxes and other assorted stuff you find backstage as a crowd gathers. Phil finishes his landing pad, then walks over to a still dazed Viper. Viper eats an ASTRO PLUNDER THUNDER DRIVER~! into the landing pile. For some reason the pile explodes, with sparks flying into the air. Security races in to put out the fire, but the match continues. Because all quality Falls Count Anywhere matches must go through the concession stand, Phil and Viper head that way. After some basic clubbering, Viper finally gets the upper hand and delivers a chain-assisted DEATH ELBOW that drives Phil into the T-shirt table. But rather than pinning him (because the ref is just now regaining consciousness from the attack by Muraco), Viper hawks his new T-shirt, “I’M NOT A HOMO, B*tch!” Viper sells about 20 of them before Phil does the Zombie Situp of Impending Doom. Phil grabs Viper by the throat and heads to the hot dog stand, because Viper with a face full of hot dogs is a great visual. Phil stuffs five large Polish dogs into Viper’s mouth, then grabs a fan’s camera to take a picture. Two minutes later that photo appears on the Internet. Unfortunately, Viper won’t see it for quite a while longer, as Phil follows up the photo with an ASTRO PLUNDER THUNDER DRIVER~! through the beer stand. The original ref, deciding he’d sold Muraco’s finisher long enough, sprints down the hallway and delivers the three count. WINNER in 21:37, Phil
THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. THE BLACK DAWGSTDFU jumps the Dawgs at the bell and the brawl spills to the floor quickly. Gator pounds Dragon to the floor, while Jack takes UD out with a Cactus clothesline over the top. Gator with a T-Bone suplex on Dragon on the floor, and GB dumps BD over the guardrail. Jack throws everything he's got at UD. At some undefined moment, UD decides to stop selling the punches and drops Jack with a dogbone. But Gator jumps on UD from behind and punches Dawg down. TFDU beats on UD 2 on 1 until Dragon pulls himself back to the ringside area. Jack slams Dragon on the floor, and drops a running elbow off the apron. UD shakes off Gator's offense, so Gator blatantly kicks him low. Dawg DOES sell that, and GB dropkicks him in the aisle. Jack and Dragon go in the ring, and Dragon works the mat. OBJ powers away though and gets a belly to belly throw. Then Gator flies in from out of nowhere with a SEAN-TON BOMB~! One, two, but Dragon kicks out. Some more TFDU teamwork as Dawg stumbles back to the ring. Gator baseball slides UD, sending him back to the rail. On the other side of the ring, BD backdrops OBJ over the top. Dragon and Gator charge at each other and double clothesline. Everybody's out, and the ref, by default, gets control of the match. Dragon tags UD, and the Dawgs isolate Gator in the corner. BD and UD work GB over for a bit, and dump him to the floor. BD slugs away as UD occupies the ref, but that allows OBJ to scoot around the ring and deck Dragon with a right hand. UD rolls Gator back in, but misses a leg drop. GB looks for a tag, but Dragon comes back in and illegally drags Gator back. But GB kicks BD away and gets to his feet, but Dawg hits a massive big boot to stop the rally. Tag back to BD, and Dragon looks for the Dragon Lock. Gator gets an inside cradle for two, however. Dragon with a stiff kick and looks for the DKO drop, but Gator counters into a reverse DDT and MAKES THE TAG! Jack in and he steps on Dragon in order to gets a forearm shot on UD, knocking him to the floor. Jack kicks BD in the mouth and drags him up. Boomerang attempt is dodged, and Dragon grabs Jack for the DKO DROP~! But Gator slips back in and hits BD with a superkick with OBJ still on his shoulders! Cover by Jack, one... two... and UD drops an elbow on the referee to break the count! UD tosses Gator over the top. But Wally slips a chair to Jack and he DRILLS UD with it, sending him to the floor and busting him open! Gator gets to his feet and TFDU works over BD. On the floor, UD steals Wally's cane, and the CALL OF THE WILD attempt is stopped by UD low-bridging Gator when he goes to the ropes. Dawg breaks the cane over Gator's head. OBJ waits on Gator, but Dragon elbows away. Jack slugs away on BD, but turns around into a steel chair shot from Dawg. DKO DROP ON THE CHAIR~! UD tosses the ref over and the Dawgs get the tainted pin. WINNERS in 15:06: The Black Dawgs
However, when UD turns around to celebrate... CHOMP! UNDERDAWG IS DEAD! Gator LEVELS Dragon with the chair as he gets to his feet, and TFDU have the last say tonight as the Dawgs stagger back up the aisle.
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CONCRETE TGHouse lights go down; black lights throw and eerie glow throughout the arena…then SCARECROW screams across the arena, and to blinding strobes Moosehead Jack stalks to the ring, pushing a cameraman to the floor as he goes by….. He skips his usual in ring salute, glares off the referee, and slumps in the far corner, Raven-style.
Ministry cuts off, and the arena is dead quiet – waiting for the explosion……
Then with a sudden explosion of pyrotechnics, “With Jupiter in Mind” blares from the arena speakers bringing the crowd to its feet as Concrete TG strides to the ring! But he’s not slapping hands or interacting with the fans like he usually does – his eyes are locked right on Jack, and when the ref tries to stop him in the middle of the ring, ‘Crete gives him a glare and the ref backs off in a hurry! Moosehead Jack nonchalantly gets to his feet, and with a sneer, gets in Concrete’s face, bad-mouthing his former partner, who just stares Jack down. The ref calls for the bell and Concrete suddenly BLASTS MHJ in the side of the head with a forearm! Moose stumbles back, and ‘Crete stays on him – a second, and a third forearm to the head, until Jack gets to the ropes. Concrete drops two more hard forearms before the ref forces a break at 3 – Concrete turns on him, fist cocked, and the ref stumbles backward out of harms way! And in that moment, Moosehead Jack hits ‘Crete right in the throat with a knife edge chop! ‘Crete takes a step back, gasping for air - and Moose hits the Lou Thez Press, dropping ‘Crete to the mat and pummeling him with hard punches, then biting down on the bridge of Concrete’s nose! Crete manages to push Moose away, but as he gets to one knee, Jack hits a brutal running knee to the side of the head, sending Concrete to the floor! Moose is out after him, pulls Concrete to his feet, throws a right haymaker – BLOCKED by Concrete, who steps in and hit a release belly to belly overhead throw, sending Jack crashing into the ringside barrier! Jack gets to his hands and knees, and Concrete follows up with a running kick to the head, bouncing Jack’s skull of the barrier! The ref has reached a 6 count for the ring out, so Concrete rolls Moose back in the ring. ‘Crete whips MHJ to the ropes, then he rebounds off the opposite ropes tries to decapitate Jack with a flying lariat – Jack is down again! Concrete moves to pick Jack up – who throws a punch that is VERY low, close to being a DQ! Now Jack is back in control, hitting chops and kicks, driving Concrete to the corner where Jack buries a shoulder into the gut. ‘Crete out of the corner, short-arm clothesline by Moosehead Jack! DDT! Moose doesn’t go for the cover, but he hops onto the second rope, and drops a knee right onto Concrete’s forehead! Jack goes to lock in the Indian Deathlock, but Concrete kick off, and rolls out of the ring! Jack rolls out of the ring after his foe, but ‘Crete rolls back in – and drops an elbow on the back of Moose’s neck as *he* rolls back in! Stunning Moose, Crete drags him to the corner, and starts slamming Moose’s head against the turnbuckle – and the crowd counts along – IN HAWAIIAN! - ho'okahi, ‘alua, ‘ekolu, ‘eha, ‘elima, ‘eono, ‘ehiku, ‘ewalu, ‘eiwa, ‘UMI! But ‘Crete doesn’t stop at ten, and slams Jacks head with more and more force 4 more times (“Umakumakahi, Umakumalua, Umikumakolu, Umikumaha!) stopping JUST short of the referee’s 5 count - he spins MHJ around, and start firing straight right hands to the face, giving MHJ a bloody nose and a cut over the eye! KICK-WHAM-DDT by Concrete! Cover by Concrete – who PICKS JACK UP AT TWO?
He picks jack up to his feet – and locks in the SCAFFOLD! Wrenching it back, Concrete is SCREAMING for Jack to submit! The ref checks on the OOWF’s resident sociopath… Jack’s arm drops once – but the ref steps back, a look of fear on his face – Jack looks up and he’s - - - laughing? ‘Crete gets an arm free, and DRILLS Jack in the ribs – and again! Jack won’t submit, and just keeps laughing, blood dripping down his face – Concrete is visibly frustrated, and releases the hold, dropping Jack to the mat. He looks around, climbs out of the ring and starts to grab a chair – but then Concrete stops, shakes his head, and throws the chair to the ground. Instead, Concrete climbs back in to the ring, and signals for the CEMENT MIXER! He grabs Jack, who suddenly twists around, pulling ‘Crete’s left arm up and away and hits THE HEART PUNCH! Concrete hits the mat as if he had been shot! And in Jack’s left hand – brass knuckles! And there is an open shot right between Concrete’s eyes, and now he is bleeding! The ref moves in admonishing Moose, who just looks at the ref with an evil grin on his face and says “I don’t CARE!” when threatened with disqualification. The ref turns to signal for the bell, and Concrete grabs the ref’s leg, screaming at him to NOT stop the match! Pulling himself to his feet on the ropes, Concrete looks to be severely hurt by that heart punch. Jack moves in for the kill and suddenly Concrete explodes out of the corner with a clothesline! Both men stagger to their feet, and Concrete grabs Moose by the throat – Moose hit Crete in the head with the brass knucks – Concrete responds with a shot to Jack’s head – but still keeps the chokehold! Jack is starting to turn red, and is desperately pummeling Concrete with the loaded fist, but Crete won’t let go of Jack’s windpipe – Concrete has hit a .8 on the Muta scale, but Moosehead Jack is quickly going from red to purple, and he is trying anything he can to get out of Concrete’s death grip! Both men fall to the mat, Jack swinging wildly, and Concrete choking the life out of Jack! The ref can’t let this go on and is calling for the bell – he is stopping the match!! WINNER At 42:18 – NO CONTEST!
The referee FINALLY gets Concrete to let go of Moose, and he staggers up the ramp – Moose slowly gets to his feet, pushes the ref away, grabs an outrigger oar from under the ring (who left THAT there?) Jack runs up behind Concrete winding up for a big swing when NILES ANDERSON pulls ‘Crete out of harms way, and the oar SNAPS when it impacts the floor! Niles stays between a wounded Concrete and Jack, so Moose climbs over the rail and head back through the crowd, staring daggers and Niles Anderson….
ERIC O’MAC vs. CANADIAN DRAGON vs. AUSTRAROODragon and Austraroo come to the ring first, Eric’s music comes on, but he doesn’t come out. It plays again, nothing; finally a man in a suit storms to the ring and tells the announcer something. The announcer looks at the man dumbfounded, then speaks:
Ladies and Gentlemen, we ask that you rise to your feet and show the current reigning Onslaught Champion the proper respect by bowing at the waist as he passes.”Eric’s music hits and he comes to the ring, soaking in the spotlight, the fans rise, but instead of bowing, they boo him – mercilessly. Eric thanks them all for their support, and slowly climbs between the ropes. The ref goes to ring the bell, but Eric stops him, he demands that Dragon and Austraroo be checked for foreign objects, they are, when the ref turns to Eric to check him, he back off, the man in the suit steps in and shows the ref what appears to be a contract. The ref shakes his head, and once again attempts to start the match, once again he is stopped, Eric stands in the middle of the ring, and flexes in a pose (pointing to himself) the man in the suit tells the ref something, and the ref removes the title from around Eric’s waist. Finally, after checking with Eric to make sure it is ok, the ref calls for the bell. Dragon and Austraroo turn to each other and immediately begin chopping away, EOM backs up and leans in the corner, content to let those two duke it out. After a few seconds of this Austraroo and CD seem to finally notice, and turn toward EOM and approach. Eric ducks between the ropes and hits the floor. Austraroo yells at EOM, CD grabs him and rolls him up from behind for a quick two count. Aust springs to his feet and hits a picture perfect drop kick to CD’s jaw that sends him to the ropes, as CD rebounds, Aust tries a monkey flip, but CD stops, and grabs his legs and rolls him through to his feet, as soon as Aust stands up, CD unleashes a brutal chop. EOM seizes the moment and tries to sneak attack with a springboard attack, but both Austraroo and Canadian Dragon turn and nail EOM with matching super kicks as he comes into the ring. Eric is DEAD! Austraroo falls on him for a two count, but CD pulls him off, CD then falls on EOM and gets a two count, but Aust pulls him off, then Aust, then CD again. Finally both men are on their feet yelling at each other, EOM rolls out of the ring and falls to the floor to regroup. The match continues like this, Austraroo and Canadian Dragon beat the snot out of each other and get a ton of pinning combinations, but EOM is able to slip into the ring just in time to break it up. Finally after over twenty minutes, Canadian Dragon nails EOM with a Dragon suplex and sends him to the outside. Austraroo tries a corkscrew moonsault while CD is on the mat, but he misses. Dragon pulls Austraroo to his feet and hits a standing belly to belly suplex that just plants Austraroo. CD climbs the corner for a dragon sault, as soon as he gets to the top, EOM springs to the apron and shoves CD off the top. Dragon falls crotch first on the ropes, EOM finishes him off with a leaping spin kick to the face that sends CD to the floor. Then in one swift move, EOM leaps to the top rope and hits a five star frog splash and gets the three count.
WINNER in 22:09 Eric O’Mac
EOM grabs his title and hurries to the back
wCw vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADEBoth teams charge to the ring and meet in the center of the ring in a flurry of punches and kicks, Westgaard and O’Neil tumble over the top rope, Camby backs Wilder into the corner and tries to cave his chest in with clubbing forearms. On the outside, Westgaard whips TO into the barricade and follows him with an attempted high knee to the face, TO moves and JWW slams knee first into the guard rail. Inside the ring, Wilder reverses Camby into the corner and just goes berserk. He punches and kicks Camby until Camby collapses and falls. Wilder rushes to the opposite corner and charges in throwing a dropkick that catches Camby right in the face. Camby falls to the mat, and Wilder springs to his feet, and immediately charges over to the ropes and leaps over the top with a suicide dive that blindsides Tommy O’Neil. Now the two light weights brawl outside the ring, working their way up the ramp. Westgaard gets to his feet and slides under the ropes looking for Camby, Camby is pulling himself to his feet in the corner, when Westgaard stands up, Camby explodes out of the corner and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. On the outside, Wilder is a man possessed, he ducks a chair shot from TO and hits a spin kick that sends the chair flying back into TO’s face opening a gash on his forehead. Wilder glances toward the ring and sees Camby nearly kill his partner with a clothesline. Camby mounts Westgaard and pummels him with fists to the face until Westgaard is a bloody mess. Wilder sprints to the ring and climbs the corner and hits a perfect missile drop kick to Camby’s face knocking him off of Westgaard. On the outside TO recovers and is rummaging around under the ring for something. At the same time Wilder does the same on the other side of the ring. Both men come out with barbed wire wrapped chairs and begin climbing opposite corners, they both leap, and at the same time, TO’s chair slams down on Westgaard’s head, and Wilder’s chair slams down on Camby’s head. The big men are down; the ref immediately calls for a double DQ.
WINNERS – double DQ in 7:49
Wilder and Tommy glare at each other, TO pulls some barbed wire off of the chair and wraps it around his fist and swings a Wicked Left at Wilder’s head, Wilder moves and the shot catches the ref in the temple, sending him to the mat, out cold. Wilder swings the chair and leaves bloody welts across TO’s back. The two men grapple on the mat, trying to carve each other up with barbed wire, finally officials flood the ring to break up the brawl. This one is far from over.
LD WILLIAMS vs. UNCLE ENTITYWilliams hands the title to the ref and glares at Entity. Entity meets Williams stare and slowly turns to Jesse Garron and tells him to go to the back. Garron tries to argue with him, but slowly backs out of the ring and heads up the ramp. Entity and Williams lock up, Entity pushes Williams back to the corner, the ref calls for a clean break, Entity backs off, then unleashes a wicked slap across LDW’s face. Entity slowly backs to the center of the ring laughing, LDW explodes out of the corner and levels UE with a clothesline, UE pops back up and eats another clothesline, he pops up a third time and Williams scoops him up and slams him to the mat, UE powders out to regain his composure, Williams follows him out and a brawl around ring side ensues. Williams gets the best of it until he attempts a whip to the ring post, UN reverses it and LDW crashes into the post face first. Williams slowly gets to his feet, blood dripping from a nasty gash above his eye, UE drop kicks LDW in the back sending him crashing shoulder first into the post. UE rolls into the ring to stop the count, then back to the outside, he grabs Williams arm and pulls him toward the post, sending him crashing into the steel a second time. LDW’s shoulder is already starting to turn a nasty shade of purple. UE rolls Williams back into the ring and follows him in. Williams begs off, clutching his shoulder, UE unleashes some brutal stiff kicks to his shoulder then shoves LDW back to the mat and covers him for a two count. UE pulls LDW to his feet and hits a single arm DDT on that injured shoulder then locks on a key lock, twisting LDW’s injured arm. Williams grimaces in pain, and slowly slithers to the ropes. The match continues like this for over twenty minutes. Uncle Entity works on Williams shoulder tenaciously, trying for a submission, Williams manages to fight out of it each time and get in a bit of offense, but he is always stopped with a shot to the shoulder. After almost thirty minutes, Williams is looking worn, he can barely use his arm, Entity looks relatively fresh. Williams finally turns the tide when Entity whips him to the ropes, and lowers his head just a bit too soon, Williams catches him and slams him to the mat wit ha DDT, twisting his neck violently in the process. Williams lands on his shoulder and hesitates for a moment which gives Entity time to recover enough to kick out at two. Williams pulls Entity to his feet and is going to try a choke slam, but Entity reverses the move and is trying for a cross face move. Williams is desperately fighting it, there is no way he can reach the ropes, and if Entity locks it on, the match is over. Williams slips around to a sitting position and elbows Entity in the face, catching him on the bridge of the nose, this stuns Entity momentarily, which allows Williams to grab him and small package UE and get a three count out of nowhere.
WINNER in 33:49 LD Williams
Williams slides out of the ring, grabs his title and heads to the back.
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. NILES ANDERSONHarris does not take his eyes off the championship belt as Niles takes it off his waist before the bell. The official holds the title in front of the challenger, and Harris stares a hole thru it. Then the ref holds it up for all to see, and the bell sounds. Some back and forth feeling out by each guy before Harris snaps out a pair of arm drags that sends the champion to the corner to regroup. Anderson moves in again, and Harris looks for another arm drag, but Niles kicks him, but Harris blocks that, and gets a leg drag takedown, too. Niles rolls to the floor, grabs his bible, and reads a Proverb to himself. Back in, and Niles gets a takedown from behind and works the challenger on the mat. But again, Hardbody counters and gains the advantage. Harris grabs a front face lock, drags Anderson to his feet and gets a snap suplex, then another. Niles tries to retreat to the corner, but Harris drags him back to the center and catapults him into the corner. Anderson staggers right back into the ONE AND ONLY~! Hardbody covers, but Niles gets a foot on the rope and rolls out to the floor. Harris follows and destroys Niles with a clothesline in front of the announce table. Hardbody grabs the house mic, says something about being either the "#1 FACE IN THE OOWF" or "Kip James, bitch," and hits Anderson with the mic, drawing a warning from the official. Harris sets Anderson on the table, then climbs the apron and goes to the top rope. Anderson is out of it and gets to his feet on the table, and Hardbody flies off looking for the BG MEMORIAL FACEPLANT FROM THE TOP ROPE THRU THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! But Niles was playing possum and sidesteps Harris, and shoves him awkwardly down thru the table, with Hardbody's head smacking the floor with a sickening thud. The match stops for a moment while the ref tends to Hardbody, and Niles peeks in to check on his opponent. After a moment of deliberation, the referee calls for the bell. WINNER by referee's discretion in 9:01 and STILL OOWF World Champion: Niles Anderson
Niles doesn't seem too happy with the decision and grabs the title in disgust from the ref. Anderson checks on Harris, who seems to be coming to down in the rubble. Niles helps Hardbody to his feet, and the ref goes to help Niles assist Hardbody to the back. Harris is defiant however, and doesn't want any help. Suddenly, the boss, the general manager, The Rick steps out from behind the curtain with a mic and addresses the situation from the staging area.
The Rick: Are you okay, Hardbody? [Harris nods his head and says he's good to go.] Well, good. Because we didn't suffer thru THAT plane flight and come out here to Hawaii to have the main event end with a shitty decision like that. So, I'm ordering this match to continue. And I'm ordering it to continue... right now.[/i]
Niles stops momentarily and seems upset about that turn of events, but then decides that he can go a while longer and turns to go back into the ring. But Harris tackles him at ringside before he can roll in. Right hands from Harris on the floor as the crowd is in a frenzy. Hardbody rolls Niles in and walks off some wooziness before crawling back in himself. Running forearm from Harris is countered with a hot shot from the champion, and Niles drops him with a DDT. One, two... and Hardbody kicks out. Niles measures him with a kneedrop to the head, then hits a beautiful Tiger suplex. One, two, and Harris gets a shoulder up. Niles sends Hardbody to the corner and goes to follow up with a running knee, but Niles eats boot when he charges in. Hardbody clotheslines Niles down from behind. As Anderson gets to his feet, Harris looks for the BG MEMORIAL FACEPLANT~! But Niles dodges and grabs Harris for the STEED-DT~! But Hardbody counters that, twists around and hits TO BE EDITED IN LATER~! Both guys are down and Hardbody can't crawl over for a cover. Finally, Harris pulls himself over and drapes an arm on the champion. One... two.... th... but Niles rolls a shoulder up, much to the disbelief of the crowd. Harris staggers to his feet, and rests on the ropes. Anderson gets to his feet and Hardbody decks him with a right. Another, then a third drops Anderson. Sleeper from Harris, but Niles slips out of it and hits a brain buster. Cover... one, two, and Hardbody kicks out. Anderson pulls Harris up and looks for an inverted DDT, but this time, Hardbody slips out and hits the ONE AND ONLY~! Harris goes up top, presumably for the #1 DOUBLE AXEHANDLE IN THE OOWF, but gets light-headed when he gets up there, and he has to regain his balance. Meanwhile, Niles is out on his feet and uses the top rope to pull himself up, causing Hardbody to crotch himself on the top rope. Anderson turns around and sees the challenger hung up and DDT's him off the turnbuckle. Cover, one... two... three, and Anderson retains the title as the crowd is pissed. WINNER in 27:39 and STILL OOWF World Champion: Niles Anderson
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