OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#673)
Live! From Gibraltar
March 25, 2015
CHLOE vs. JUSTIN SANEInsane in the Brain brings … Drunkette down to ringside, dragging a box behind her. As the donkey makes it to the ring the box starts bumping and jumping. Finally Ellie May rides her likkercycle down to ringside with a crowbar in hand. She opens the box and out comes Justin Sane. Shaken, he climbs into the ring...or tries to, and gets tangled in the ropes. The referee shakes his head and helps him get into the ring.
Then
different music brings out Chloe Neal, totally disoriented, eyes bloodshot. She swings her branding iron randomly. We don't know if she's yelling at the crowd or at the voice she keeps hearing. She climbs into the ring and drops the branding iron, covering her ears. The referee walks over to check on her and she wildly swings at him. The referee ducks and calls for the bell.
Chloe charges at Justin but he runs, jabbing and poking at Chloe, staying out of her reach. Chloe is still distracted by the voice, and that gives Justin the opportunity to dropkick her from behind into the turnbuckle. Justin moves quickly and hits DOUG HATES TOAST! Justin covers but Chloe kicks out and Justin ends up half way across the ring. Chloe staggers up and Justin zigs when he should have zagged...and Chloe tackles him and begins raining down punches on him. Chloe stands and tries to pick Justin up...but his body is limp. Chloe tries to lock in a face lock for a Corkscrew but he's totally limp. Chloe begins slapping his face but no reaction. Chloe's eyes grow wide as she screams, “Not again!” Chloe starts staggering around the ring, screaming at the voice or the fans, who knows. She covers her ears and closes her eyes. Suddenly Justin opens his eyes, and seeing what's happening, slips behind Chloe and schoolboys her for the pin!
WINNER in 5:55 – Justin Sane!
Justin rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp, while Chloe is standing in the ring aghast! She starts screaming “Quit laughing!” Chloe falls to her knees and covers her ears, rolling into a ball, just rocking back and forth. Finally out from the back comes Moosehead Jack. He steps into the ring, touches Chloe on her shoulder, and slowly she stands up, and walks back up the ramp with Moose.
ECOSYSTEM vs. DEMON SMOKE“Until It Breaks” plays in the new talent, Demon Smoke, to a warm reaction after his big win last week. The tweener Demon nods at the crowd; he strokes the line across his face slowly before entering the ring, stretching and loosening his tattooed wrists. “New Slaves (Instrumental)” plays next, and the boos are DEAFENING as Ecosystem makes his way out, microphone in hand as always. He gestures for the music to cut, and the booing just gets louder as he raises his microphone. He waits patiently until the boos die down.
Ecosystem: Demon Smoke. (Eco pauses. Fans cheer a bit.) You like this guy? (Some louder cheers.) You don’t really know this guy yet. Well, I don’t either.
Eco walks up to the ring and climbs the steps.
Ecosystem: Smoke, let me give you a word of advice. I am the same Ecosystem that attacked you before because you were in my way. But I am also the same Chief Executive Officer Junichiro Muyo that dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s on your provisional contract. The point is, Smoke, that I do not have to be your enemy. Any time you decide to work together . . . the lines are open.
Eco tosses the mic and extends his hand to Smoke. Smoke kicks it away, though not overly aggressively. Eco shrugs and the two lock up. The two are about the same build and neither gets an immediate advantage, until Demon Smoke tosses Eco with a couple textbook armdrags. Eco slides under the ropes after the second to boos, walking around the ring, taking his time before re-entering. The two lock up again, Eco hip tosses the Demon, armbar, Demon tries to pull up, Eco flips to a cross-armbreaker, Demon tries to lift Eco up, but Eco kicks him in the head, bringing him back down. Demon finally maneuvers his legs between the ropes, and Eco kicks him hard in the shoulder. Now Demon rolls out, though a bit involuntarily - Eco comes along the apron, looking for a running kick, but Demon dodges and chop blocks Eco, who lands back first on the apron and flops to the floor!
Demon slides into the ring halfway (breaking the count), and then seems to get a better idea, climbing up on the apron and coming off with the Big Elbow, Foley Style! Eco writhes on the ground, but Smoke grabs his arm that Eco was working on earlier. Eco sees that and quickly kicks him three times in the shoulder before leaping over him and rolling into the ring, holding his chest. Smoke hobbles up, and follows quickly, but Eco is right on him with stomps, grabbing the arm and yanking Smoke back into the DRAGON SLEEPER! Eco rarely goes to his submission finisher! Smoke is refusing to tap, however, using his free arm to swing hard and punch Eco in the face! One catches Eco across the nose hard, and Smoke is able to break free and nail Eco with an uppercut, knocking him down like a ton of bricks. Smoke goes for the pin: 1-no! Eco powers out into a LEBELL LOCK! Eco torques back on the neck, but Smoke again gets to the ropes quickly, getting the break. Eco doesn’t want to break, but the referee forces him off at 4.
Eco smells blood in the water, and goes to charge again, but Smoke is climbing between the ropes - Eco doesn’t care and socks him anyway, Smoke goes upside down, and comes out with a REBOUND CLOTHESLINE! Ambrose-style, and Eco never saw it coming! Smoke off the opposite ropes, another clothesline with the good arm! Eco stumbles into the corner, Smoke from the opposite, STIFF ENZIGURI! Eco crumbles, Demon Smoke into the cover: 1-2-no! Eco gets the shoulder up! Smoke shoves him down again, Eco shoves up and guillotines Smoke, using his other arm to drive elbows into the injured shoulder. Smoke shoves him into the turnbuckles to break, driving his shoulders into Eco. Eco keels over as Smoke backs up, looking for another enziguri run . . . Smoke charges, right into a BLUE SUPERKICK from Junichiro Muyo! The crowd boos as Ecosystem looks wild-eyed, bouncing his chest against the ropes, before measuring the rising Smoke (ha!) - Eco locks in another DRAGON SLEEPER! Demon Smoke attempts to fight out again, but this time, Eco has it locked in enough to transition to his finisher - ENDGAME! Eco nails his Final Cut variant and pins Demon Smoke . . . 1 . . . 2 . . . NO! Demon Smoke kicks out on instinct as the audience goes nuts (and Eco audibly screams “FUCK!”)
Razz: What a tough SOB this guy is! Who kicks out of the Endgame?
Shaking his head, Eco goes back to the corner as Smoke attempts to stumble up, before charging - ENF, ECO’S NEW FINISH - Smoke dodges! Smoke tries to sweep Eco’s legs for THE CRIT, but Eco spins away and kicks him in the shoulder! Demon Smoke grabs his arm in pain, Eco yanks it, SECOND ENDGAME! Now he hooks the legs for the pin and it’s academic . . .1. . . 2 . . . 3!
Winner by pinfall in 8:34 . . . Ecosystem!
Eco yells at the referee to raise his arm, and he obliges quickly before the referee goes to check on Smoke’s arm - but Eco grabs the referee back by his shirt, shouting that he needs to raise his arm to all four sides of the ring. The referee sighs and obliges, four sets of boos greeting Eco before he exits.
TYTAN vs. AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE“Disposable Heroes” plays and Tytan comes to the ring alone, carrying his bokken. The crowd boos him loudly, but he pays no attention to them and just climbs into the ring. “Insane in the Brain” plays and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville makes his way to the ring on Drunkey, accompanied by Ellie May From Elijay on her likkercycle. They circle the ring a few times and Bill dismounts and climbs into the ring. Before the bell can even ring, Tytan charges across the ring and attacks!
Tytan lands a clubbing shot to the back of Bill’s head that drops him to the mat. Tytan pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Bill catches him with a kick to the jaw that stands him up. Bill then hits the ropes again and lands the MASON DIXON LINE! Tytan hits the mat and rolls out of the ring, Bill grabs the top rope and leaps over and crashes down onto Tytan! The crowd is ROARING their support for Bill. He pulls Tytan up and shoots him into the ring. Bill climbs in and covers, but Tytan kicks out at two.
Bill pulls Tytan to his feet and hooks him for a suplex, but Tytan blocks it and counters with one of his own, dropping Bill onto the top rope stomach first. Tytan then hits the ropes and leaps at Bill and lands the WRATH OF GOD! Bill flies off the ropes and collapses in a heap on the floor. Ellie May races to check on him, but Tytan is not done. He grabs Ellie May by the hair and pulls her off Bill and shoves her to the floor, drawing more boos from the crowd. He pulls a groggy Bill to his feet and turns and slams him FACE FIRST into the steel ring post! The referee slides out of the ring and checks on Ellie May and doesn’t see Tytan grab his bokken. With Bill on his knees, bleeding badly from his forehead, Tytan raises the bokken and SLAMS it down on the back of Bill’s neck! Bill falls to the floor, evidently out cold.
Tytan pulls Bill up and rolls him into the ring and barks at the referee to get in the ring. Tytan pulls Bill to his feet, Bill is out of it. Tytan bounds off the ropes and hits the DECAPITATOR! Bill does a full 180 and lands face down on the mat. Tytan rolls him over and covers, one, two, three.
WINNER in 7:33 - Tytan
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. ROAD BANGER THRASH“Wherever I May Roam” plays and Road Banger Thrash makes his way to the ring. The big man is all business as he steps over the top rope and waits for Moose to come out. “Scarecrow” plays and Moose comes out from the back, the crowd boos him mercilessly, but he pays no attention. Jack gets to the bottom of the ramp and just stares at Thrash and smirks. The big man is in NO mood for games. He leaves the ring and comes after Moose, and the fight is ON!
The two trade punches for a bit, then RBT catches Moose in the gut with a knee and brings repeated forearms down on the back of Jack’s head. Thrash grabs Moose and whips him HARD into the guard rail. Jack hits and staggers forward a few steps, only to eat a running boot to the face from Thrash. Jack hits the floor and Thrash puts the boots to him with several hard kicks to the ribs and face. Thrash pulls Moose to his feet and backs him against the guardrail and unleashes a barrage of chops. Thrash then tries to whip Moose to the opposite guardrail, but Moose reverses it and Thrash slams knee first into the stairs.
The big man stagers and goes down to one knee, holding his injured knee in pain. Moose charges behind Thrash and connects with a knee to the back of his head, then loops a cord around his throat and tries to choke him out. Since neither man has actually made it to the ring, the match has not officially started, so anything goes. Moose releases the choke and pulls Thrash over to the guardrail and chokes him throat first on the steel. Moose releases that and Thrash slumps to the floor, Jack grabs a chair and throws it at Thrash, it hits his shoulder and head, then falls to the floor. Moose grabs his leg and drags him away from the guardrail, then grabs the chair again and repeatedly slams it down on Thrash’s chest. Jack climbs onto the apron and gets a running start and leaps off the apron and slams the chair and himself down on top of Thrash.
Jack sits there for a moment while Thrash writhes in pain, just enjoying the moment. The fans boo loudly and Jack just laughs like a madman. He pulls Thrash up and RBT connects with several shots to Moose’s gut. Moose decides to gnaw on Thrash’s forehead, which draws cries of pain from the big man, but he eventually shoves Moose away, grabs him by the head and SLAMS him between the eyes with a HEADBUTT! “That all you got Jackie?” Thrash grabs Moose by the throat and hammers him with straight punches to the face, Moose slumps to his knees and Thrash grabs the chair and slams it down on top of Jack’s head. Moose falls to the floor and doesn’t move. Thrash grabs Moose and we see Moose has pulled something from his pocket, a chain that is now wrapped around his fist. Thrash sets Moose up for the LAST RIDE THROUGH THE CHILEAN ANNOUNCE TABLE, but Moose HAMMERS him with punches to the face! The chain busts Thrash open and he drops Moose. Jack kicks Thrash low and PLANTS him on the floor with a DDT!
Moose pulls Thrash to his feet and whips him against the steel, then charges in and hits a BUISAKU KNEE to Thrash’s face! The force of the move sends Moose about four rows into the audience, crashing into chairs and finally slamming to the concrete. Thrash is slumped on the floor holding his bleeding face and trying to get to his feet. Moose slowly gets to his feet and nearly comes to blows with several of the fans. He grabs a chair and starts swinging it wildly and the fans move back. Moose sets the chair up by the guardrail and waits for Thrash to get to his feet. When he does, Moose charges, hits the chair and the guardrail and leaps at Thrash, Thrash catches him in a goozle and CHOKESLAMS HIM TO THE FLOOR!
Moose is obviously in pain, Thrash stands over him with a look of hate on his face. He puts his boot across Moose’s throat and tries to choke the life out of him. He finally breaks and pulls Moose to his feet and tries to roll him into the ring, but Moose holds onto the bottom rope and doesn’t go into the ring, which would make this an official match. Thrash climbs onto the apron and pulls Moose up and tries to clothesline him over the rope into the ring, but Moose holds onto the top rope and just absorbs the blows. Jack rakes Thrash’s eyes and connects with a low blow, then sets Thrash up and hits a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ON THE APRON! Thrash crashes to the floor and lies motionless. Moose grabs him and, with considerable effort, rolls him under the bottom rope. Moose follows and covers, the match is now official, one……two……thre…NO! Thrash kicks out!
Moose gets to his feet and threatens to murder the referee, which gives Thrash time to get to one knee. When Moose turns around, Thrash springs and hits Moose with a CLOTHESLINE, Moose grabs the ref at the last second and pulls him in front of Thrash, but Moose takes the brunt of the shot. The ref gets knocked out and falls to the mat! Thrash eyes the situation for a moment, then grabs Moose and pulls him to his feet, sets him up and hits the LAST RIDE OUT OF THE RING THROUGH THE CHILEAN ANNOUNCE TABLE! Moose crashes through the table and hits the floor, the crowd responds with a HOLY SHIT! Chant. Thrash stands in the middle of the ring for a moment, when suddenly, the bell rings. The referee has crawled toward the announcer……..Moosehead Jack has been disqualified!
WINNER in 3:01 – by disqualification – Road Banger Thrash
Thrash snarls, not really the win he wanted. He leaves the ring and starts to pull Moose out of the wreckage when Chloe and Stank make it to the ring. They attack Thrash and hammer him with punches and kicks. Moose gets back to his feet and climbs onto the Prussian Announce Table, Chloe and Stank roll Thrash onto the table and Moose grabs him and hits a RANHEI THROUGH THE TABLE! Before more damage can be done, Demon Smoke and Dre Gaines race to the ring. The Saints retreat and Dre and Smoke help Thrash to his feet. The big man is not one bit happy.
TARIAN vs. GHOSTHEADGhosthead gets introduced and makes his way into the ring. He seems to be all business, and is wearing a black armband with PAR on it, paying tribute to the memory of the son of one of his trainers, Perro Aguayo. He stands in the center of the ring, staring at the stage. Tarian's music hits and Ghost head slides out of the ring and starts heading up the ramp. Out of NOWHERE Tarian charges from behind and SPEARS Ghost into the ramp! He pulls him up by the hair and begins pounding on Ghosts face. Ghost manages to roll over and he begins to return serve on the newcomer. Ghost drags Tarian onto the stage and grabs a conveniently located cable and wraps it around Tarian's throat! Tarian turns a couple different shades of purple before flipping Ghost over his head and delivering several still kicks to the back of Ghost's head. Tarian grabs Ghost and hurls him into the OOWFTron, He steps back and Hits THE JOUST INTO THE TRON WALL! Ghost is bleeding nicely now, and Tarian poses over Ghost's lifeless corpse. You know what happens whe you do that. Ghost sweeps Tarian's legs and in a flash locks in the Phantasmagoria!
Tarian fights free and gets to his feet, grabbing Ghost by the waist. He lifs him up and belly to back suplexes him OFF THE SIDE OF THE STAGE! Both men crash into a stack of crates below and the crowd goes Ape Shit Bat CRAZY! Officials swarm in, trying to find survivors in the rubble. Obviously, this match never got started Official Decision:
WINNER - NO CONTEST; NO MATCH
MURPHY’S LAW vs. ROYALTY“Warrior’s Code” plays and Murphy’s Law makes their way to the ring. DK and Dee both look ready for a fight. Royalty’s music plays and Christian Carter and Alexis Darling slowly make their way to the ring. The referee orders one of the Murphy’s out of the ring before Royalty even gets there to prevent an all out brawl. Dee steps out of the ring and DK waits…….and waits……..and waits. The crowd boos the hell out of the stall tactics, but Royalty doesn’t seem to mind. Lexie and Carter slowly climb onto the apron, when the crowd starts to boo loudly. We see Alex, Fire and Rory come through the crowd and hop the guardrail. Rory grabs Dee and pulls her off the apron and floors her with a CLOTHESLINE. Inside the ring, Alex slides in and nails DK from behind, dropping him to the mat.
Lexie races around the ring and she, Fire and Rory put the boots to Dee while Alex and Carter beat the snot out of DK in the middle of the ring. Lexie and Rory roll Dee into the ring, and Alex pulls her up, lifts her onto her shoulders and hits a DARLING DRIVER! Carter grabs DK and hits the FINAL TESTIMONY! The Murphy’s are OUT! Alex grabs the mic and is about to speak, when Miranda, Tommy, Folz, Dre and Mai race to the ring. Alex drops the mic and Royalty bails out of the ring and escapes to the back. They help the Murphy’s to their feet and DK is FURIOUS. He picks up the mic that Alex dropped.
Royalty……..I am getting tired of your shit! Sunday……..Sunday we want you Lexie, and you Carter, and we want you in a cage. With a roof on top, to keep your little Royalty buddies from interfering. I am not asking, I am not requesting, I am DEMANDING. Corbitt, get it done!Murphy slams the mic down and they all leave the ring and head to the back.
WINNERS – No Match
MATT FOLZ vs. TOMMY WILDER vs. LD WILLIAMSAll three men make their usual entrances, with Tommy Wilder getting a massive response from the crowd and Matt Folz an only slightly smaller one. L.D. Williams receives his fair share of cheers as well - not that he seems to notice. Referee Junior Hale gives them their instructions, and the combatants exchange a three-way fist bump as the he calls for the bell. Williams suddenly grabs Wilder's wrist and yanks him off balance. He drives an elbow into Wilder's throat, then turns and rakes Folz' eyes. Williams pitches Wilder over the top rope, then spins behind Folz and rolls him up, getting a two count.Wilder slides back in as Folz kicks out and both men glare at Williams, who shrugs.
LDW: "Somebody's gotta be the bad guy."
Wilder chuckles - then launches himself off the mat and blasts Williams with a superkick! Williams is knocked into the ropes, and Wilder follows up with several forearms before sending him across the ring - and into a clothesline from Folz. Folz stomps Williams into the mat before sitting him up and planting a knee in his back. Wilder slides in with a dropkick, connecting with one foot to each man's face. Wilder rolls to his feet and hits Williams with a standing moonsault. He hooks the leg, but Folz drags him off at one.
Folz pulls Wilder to his feet and shoves him toward the corner, but Wilder catches him with a back elbow. Wilder grabs Folz’ head and tries to run up the turnbuckles, but Folz drags him off. Folz adjusts his grip and hits a German suplex, but Wilder flips in the air and lands behind him. Folz turns - and both men are blindsided by a double clothesline from Williams. Williams sends Folz hard into the opposite corner, then sends Wilder after him. Wilder runs up Folz into a backflip. Williams hits a dropkick as Wilder lands, sending him tumbling into Folz in the corner. Williams stuns Wilder with a European uppercut, then sets him up for a suplex. Folz joins him, and they drive Wilder to the mat. As they get up, Folz gets some payback by raking Williams’ eyes and pitching him through the ropes. Folz hauls Wilder up for an Angle slam, but Wilder drops off behind him. Folz turns and eats a dropkick. Wilder sprints for the ropes and hits Folz with a flying forearm that knocks him through the ropes. Wilder waits for Folz and Williams to get up, and levels them both with a springboard shooting star press to the outside.
Junior goes out to the floor and checks all three men. Wilder is the first to get to his feet and tries to slide back into the ring, but Williams grabs his ankle and drags him back out. Wilder connects with a pair of knee strikes, but Williams stops him short with an elbow to the throat and sends him into the ring steps. Williams turns to pull Folz off the floor, but eats a roaring elbow. Folz slams Williams' head into the apron, and then snaps him over with a suplex. Wilder staggers to his feet, and Folz grabs him and plants him on Williams with a belly-to-belly suplex. Folz rolls in to break the count, then heads back out and stuffs Wilder into the ring. He drops a leg across his throat and covers, but Wilder kicks out at two.
Folz pulls Wilder to his feet and drives him into the corner. Folz works Wilder over with elbows and knees, and then sends him across the ring. Wilder springs to the top rope, but he's still dazed and lands unsteadily, allowing Folz to grab him and drive him to the mat. Folz rolls Wilder over and applies the anklelock. Wilder crawls for the ropes, but Williams is in and frees him by leveling Folz with a clothesline. As Wilder drags himself out to the apron, Williams pulls Folz up and snaps him over with a suplex, then rolls them both back to their feet and hits a second one. He foregoes a third and pulls Folz into a seated position and hammers him with forearms. Williams pulls Folz up and sets him up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Folz blocks. Williams pummels Folz and tries again, but Folz reverses, driving the back of Williams' head into the mat. Williams gets unsteadily to his feet, and Folz knees him in the back, knocking him into the ropes. Folz grabs Williams from behind as Wilder gets to his feet on the apron. Folz throws Williams across the ring with a German suplex, and Wilder springs off the top rope and nails Williams with a dropkick in the air! Williams hits the mat hard and rolls out to the floor. Wilder pops to his feet and throws a superkick, but Folz catches it and reverses into the anklelock. Wilder struggles, and almost reaches the ropes, but Folz drags him back and grapevines the leg. Wilder is trapped, and Williams still isn’t moving, so he has no choice but to tap out.
WINNER, in 24:09, Matt Folz.
After the match: Folz releases the hold and helps Wilder to his feet. Williams slowly climbs back in and handshakes are exchanged before Williams and Wilder leave Folz to celebrate.
ROYALTY vs. MAI MUYO & MIRANDA WILLIAMSRoyalty comes to the ring first, accompanied by Alex, Carter and Lexie, they are all nearly booed out of the arena by the crowd. Before Mai and Miranda are even introduced, the referee orders Alex, Lexie and Carter to the back. Royalty is NOT happy about this, but the crowd sure is. Finally, they head to the back and Mai and Miranda are introduced and make their way to the bottom of the ramp. They pause there for a moment while the crowd roars, soon enough we see why. DK, Dee, Dre, Folz and Tommy all make their way through the crowd and take a seat at ringside. Fire and Rory protest, the referee goes to check on the shenanigans, but all five produce tickets for their seats. There isn’t a thing the referee can do about it. Miranda and Mai climb into the ring, Miranda heads to the apron while Mai stands defiant in the middle of the ring and dares Fire to start the match. Rory just smirks, but Fire demands the tag.
Mai and Fire lock up, Mai uses her strength advantage to back Fire into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break, and Mai does, for about a nano-second, then she unleashes a barrage of hard forearm strikes into Fire’s chest. Fire takes a dozen shots, then falls to one knee in the corner trying to catch her breath. Mai takes a few steps back and charges in and connects with a dropkick to the side of Fire’s head that slams her temple into the turnbuckle! Mai drags her to the middle of the ring and covers, Albright comes in to break it up with an elbow drop, but Mai moves out of the way and Albright drops an elbow across Fire’s chest!
Albright gets to his feet and tries to apologize, but Mai connects with a spinning front kick that connects right upside Rory’s head and sends him flying out of the ring. Mai pulls Fire to her feet and POPS her with a spinning back fist upside the head, then grabs her and hits a BRIDGING NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Fire kicks out just before the three count. Mai pulls her up and tags in Miranda and holds Fire up. Miranda springs to the top rope and hits a clothesline just as Mai sweeps Fire’s legs! Miranda covers, but Albright gets back into the ring and breaks it up at two.
Miranda pulls Fire to her feet and sends her to the ropes and tries a clothesline on the rebound, Albright makes the blind tag, and Fire hangs on to the ropes, when Miranda turns around Rory nearly cuts her in half with a SPEAR! Albright grabs Miranda and jerks her to her feet and throws her into the corner and connects with several elbows to the side of the head, then snapmares her out of the corner and hits a falling clothesline to the back of her head and slams her forehead into the mat. Albright slams her back to the mat and covers, but Miranda kicks out at two.
Rory pulls Miranda to her feet and scoops her up and tries to run her into the corner, but Miranda slips over his shoulder and shoves Albright into the corner sternum first. As he staggers backward Miranda grabs him around the waist and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX. Albright lands hard on the back of his head but rolls through to one knee, Miranda charges in and DESTROYS him with a SHINING WIZARD! Miranda tags Mai in, but before she can get to Albright, Fire hops off the apron and races around the ring and pulls Rory to the floor to regroup.
They get about two seconds to regroup before Mai and Miranda dive between the ropes and take Royalty out! Miranda pulls Fire to her feet and lifts her and drops her throat first onto the guard rail while Mai rolls Albright back into the ring. She follows him and Albright tries to beg off, but Royalty is not about to get any mercy. Mai connects with a kick to his face dropping him back to the mat, then lands a DOUBLE STOMP to his chest! Rory has had about enough of this nonsense, and he frantically waves to the back. Alex, Carter and Alexis race to the ring, which brings Folz, Tommy, the Murphy’s and Dre over the guardrail. They brawl with Royalty outside the ring, while inside, Fire tags back in and goes after Mai.
Fire wraps her garrote around Mai’s throat while the referee is busy trying to restore order outside the ring. Rory Albright slips out of the ring and grabs a chair, but Matt Folz breaks away from the crowd and pulls brass knuckles from his pocket and BLASTS Albright, knocking him out cold! Inside the ring, Miranda grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Fire’s back! Fire drops the garrote and slumps to her knees. Miranda grabs the garrote and throws it into the crowd, Mai grabs Fire around the waist, locks the arms and hits the FLORIDA KEY! Miranda grabs the referee who turns around and hits the mat, one, two, THREE!
WINNERS in 16:51 – Mai Muyo & Miranda Williams
Mai and Miranda immediately leave the ring and go after Royalty. Seriously outnumbered, with no hope of backup coming, Carter grabs a barely conscious Albright and throws him over his shoulder, while Alex pulls Fire out of the ring and they retreat to the back. The White Hats (for lack of a better word, come on guys, how bout the NEW Drink & Destroy? Murphs, Dre, Mai, Tommy, Miranda and Folz?) stand in the middle of the ring and dare them to come back.
ALEXANDER DARLING vs. CHAD MADISON – Non-Title Match"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" fires up and Chad Madison comes out with the face-cheers. He high five the men, and tips his hat to the ladies. Aw... "King of the World" plays and Alexander Darling comes out, holding hands with his wife who smiles at him, wearing her Royalty hoodie. The crowd boos. Alexander accuses them of wishing they were him as he makes his way down. He points to where Fire should stand and hands off his World Championship belt. He turns to Chad and removes his sunglasses handing them to Fire. Chad looks at Fire and just shakes his head. Fire doesn't care. The referee searches both men, and turns up a badly-hidden set of brass knuckles. Alexander shrugs fake-innocently, and the referee tosses them to Firewoman. Chad turns back to Alexander who NAILS him with a stiff right hand, and we are on!
Fairly rough Pier Two brawl breaks out between the two. Warnings a plenty are given out as the two men basically see how close to the edge of breaking the rules they can get. Madison gets the upper hand and whips Darling across the ring. He goes to follow but can't move as Firewoman has a hold of his foot. Chad looks down to kick his foot away, and doesn't see Darling rush him. Alex knocks him over the ropes with a big clothesline, but Chad recovers and lands on the apron. Fire grabs his foot again and Darling goes for the baseball slide...we've seen this before, kids. Wait! Matt Folz comes running down the ramp, and chases Fire away from the apron. The two of them brawl, and Folz tosses Fire hard into the stairs.
Meanwhile, Chad had dodged the baseball slide and leaps over the top rope to put the boots to Darling while he's down. He backs off when the referee tells him Darling is in the ropes, and Darling gets to his feet. Chad armdrags him over into an abdominal stretch. Alex flails about as best he can, but no dice. Chad seemlessly transitions to his feet and has Alex up and over with a dragon suplex. He goes for the pin, one...no! Fire has recovered from Folz's ambush and races around to the other edge, dragon Alex's foot to the rope. Folz follows her and the two of them go back to brawling. Chad attacks Alex again, but is driven off with a flurry of chops to the chest. He continues the onslaught (!!) and appears to be systematically trying to wear Madison down with suplexes and head drops. He tries for a pin, and one...two...NO! Alex yells something to Fire to stop goofing off with Folz. She glares, and then heads for the ramp, drawing Folz with her. With them racing up the ramp, Alex turns...right into SWEET CHIN MUSIC~! Alex drops and Chad follows up with a BIONIC ELBOW~! and the a cover, one...two...NO~!
In the back, Firewoman has introduced Folz to the wonders of a catering table...
Chad drags Alex over to the ringpost and hops out, wrappign the leg and putting Alex in a RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR~! Alex struggles to get out of the Figure Four. He looks around, and sees no back up. The referee starts to make the count...one...two...three...four...fi--NO! Chad breaks the hold at about 4.5. Alex rolls over in pain, as Chad comes back in the ring. Alex is limping around trying to get feeling back into his leg. Chad stalks him and then makes his move and Alex dodges. He trips up Chad and gets him in the position...CURBSTOMP~! He rolls Chad over, one, twoo..NO~! Alex drags him up by the hair as Fire comes running back down. Alex pulls Chad up by the hair, but Chad pushes him off and then goes for the SWEET CHIN MUSIC again, but NO!! Alex pulls the referee into the way. Down he goes. Chad smacks himself in the head and Alex calls out to Fire for the brass knuckles. She takes them out of her pocket, looks at them...at Chad...at Alex....And shakes her head....No!! The referee starts to stir, and Chad helps him up, but that's enough of a distraction. Alex glares back at Fire and then attacks setting up the DARLING DRIVER~! but NO! Chad wiggles around so that Alex can't keep him on his shoulders! Alex turns and Chad drives him back with stiff punches to the corner. He lifts him up then climbs....Alex gets to his feet on the ropes and pretty soon both men are exchanging punches up top. Chad graps Alex's waistband and SUPERPLEX~! He floats over and one...two...THREE~!
Chad rolls out of the ring, with a glance at a shocked Firewoman who isn't paying attention. Alex pulls himself up the ropes yelling at Chad, who merely smiles and gives him the 'Hook 'em Horns' hand signal.
Alexander turns and glares at Fire as she climbs into the ring. He starts to yell at her, along the lines of "What is wrong with you" and various other things. Fire appears to be trying to explain...and apologize...and then Alexander makes a comment about Fire's cowboy fetish. Apparently, the accusation of something inappropriate turns Fire's apologetic tone into one of anger. She storms over to the corner and demands a microphone from the production assistant, who smartly complies; Alexander grabs one from the other corner.
AD: Like I don't have enough on my plate with Fucking Folz, Wilder, and your adopted Williams family but I gotta deal with your drama too...I'm tired, Lisa...in or out just make a damn decision!!
FW: Alright ENOUGH!
Darling is somewhat take aback as Firewoman starts to pace a bit manically. Then she stops and walks up to him.
FW: I'm done.
AD: What? Done with what.
FW: With this. With Royalty. I can't....
Alexander looks at her, surprised.
FW: Alex....
AD: Just like that? We're through?
FW: No, not us....Look....
Fire pauses, swallows hard, and then sighs and continues.
FW: Do you remember, on the beach? We had our real wedding, real vows, real memories. We promised each other. We promised that this--
Firewoman makes a square in the air corresponding to the ring
FW: -- would never interfere with this.
Firewoman points back and forth between them.
FW: And...Alex, it's starting to. You can't deny it. And....look I know there are a very few things we try to keep off the cameras but ... I can't let Royalty destroy us. So... I'm leaving Royalty before it does. But not you....never you...I'm leaving because I love you and what we have is so much more important than Royalty--
AD: Fire...Lisa...Royalty is for us. It's what we've always wanted!
FW: No, Alex...I mean, yes but...if there's anything my little forced vacation taught me is....Alex, you're going down a road here that I can't follow...not unless I want to lose myself...and you in the process...and I'm not willing to risk it. So...
Firewoman starts to take off the Royalty hoodie.
AD: *shaking his head* You know what this means, right? You're on your own...We won't be bailing you out, watching your back....or holding back.
Fire stops and she glares.
FW: I do not now.....nor have I EVER....needed your help.
AD: Really...let's go down the list, shall we?
FW: We can do that but these people want to go home sometime this week. Yeah, you've bailed me out a bunch....but I have taken care of myself a lot too, and really, I'm just tired of using you as a crutch.
Alex looks ... well, words don't really describe it. There appears to be a smattering of cheers and applause from the crowd. Fire continues to remove her hoodie, and Alexander's shock turns to anger, as he sees her Saints of Sinners t-shirt underneath.
AD: I should have known.....
FW: What? Oh, no, it's not--
Fire is interrupted by Scarecrow's "Ministry" as Moosehead Jack walks down the ramp, all smiles. The crowd cheers turn to boos, as Moose slides into the ring. He smirks at Alexander before turning to Fire.
MHJ: Congratulations.
More boos as the crowd does not appreciate this turn.
AD: This doesn't concern you.
FW: Alex...Moose--
MHJ: Sister, you have always had a spot in the Saints, you know that. If you're ready,....WELCOME HOME.
AD: You really are digging your own grave, here, Fire.
MHJ: It's about time you came to your sense and dumped this--
Moose can't finish because Fire has popped him in the mouth.
FW: I love Alexander. Yeah, I said it again. I am not dumping him. I am leaving Royalty but it's not for YOU or for anyone else. It's for ME.
The crowd sort of turns back from boos to cheers.
FW: I know you don't understand it...I really hope you do someday. I hope you will be happy with Chloe, the way I am with Alex, and while you won't accept my decision, I promise I will accept yours, if it makes you happy.
FW: I knew you'd make a bee-line down here when you heard me leave Royalty. So I did wear this for you. But to do this.
Firewoman takes off her Saints T-shirt to reveal a plain black tank top underneath.
MHJ: I don't get--
FW: No, Moose, you don't. I'm not walking out of one stable to join another.
MHJ: Striking out on your...what's so funny?
Moose notices Alex laughing at him.
AD: You think she'd actually join up with you? Two nutjobs in the same locker room? No offense, dear...
FW: I--
MHJ: She was FINE until she married you.
FW: Guys--
AD: Not sure you're the best judge of that. You're a few diamonds short of a tiara most days yourself.
MHJ: Figures Richy Rich would bring diamonds into it.
AD: Oh, for Christ's sake is this high school? Get over the jealousy already. The fact is she chose me over you, and you can't stand it.
FW: Hey, can we--
Moose and Alex stop trading insults in the microphone and start yelling at each other, walking until they are nose to nose. We may be seeing the beginning of Moose v. Alex III here. Firewoman tries to intervene but they both take turns pushing her aside, which is NOT setting well, as you would expect. Finally, just as it looks like the two men are coming to blows, there is a primal scream that echoes through the building.
FW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGH!
Firewoman drops the microphone, and kicks both Alexander and Moosehead Jack in the gut. They double over and DOUBLE DDT!! The crowd roars its approval at this little turn of events, and Fire grabs the microphone and paces like a caged animal.
FW: I. HAVE HAD. ENOUGH!! All I hear day in day out..."The Firewoman I know is this." "The Firewoman I know is that." *leans over Alex* "The Firewoman I know does what I think she should" *leans over Alex* "The Firewoman I know does what *I* think she should" The Firewoman Mai knows... The Firewoman Chad knows...
Well, NONE of them know the Firewoman *I* know. And the Firewoman *I* know is DONE having people dictate what she does, who she fights, who she doesn't. The Firewoman *I* know is DONE with Royalty, DONE with Saints, DONE DONE DOOOOOOOONE!!!
More cheers. Firewoman looks around. Alex and Moose are getting to their feet.
FW: I'm tired of being what you want me to be, its time for me to be who I want.
FW: The two of you....you are SO much alike....You can't even see it. You know, this could have been the greatest team in the history of wrestling, but you two couldn't even put your differences aside for MY sake...Hell, you couldn't get it together to give me a damn memorial show. In fact, the only thing you COULD work together on was breaking the ONE PROMISE you both made....
AD: Fire....
MHJ: You were out of control.
FW: Out of control? I've spent half my life out of control. No, Moose, YOU drugged me. YOU did. Because I "lied to you." Never mind that time after time after time you made friends and allies out of people who had caused me real actual physical harm. And keep doing it.
Moose starts to protest, but Fire turns her attention away from him, to Alex.
FW: And YOU--
AD: Fire, you--
FW: Yeah, yeah, I heard you. My choices, my decisions. Lecturing me about using and misleading you....all the while pouting over Alexis turning on you...but wait! She didn't, did she. You were lying to me about that all along, planning Royalty long before I started gaslighting Chloe. Was the hypocrisy getting too inconvenient for you?
Alex starts to answer, but Fire pulls the "Talk to the Hand."
FW: And then you both talk me into that plan...and I get to take the fall....the whole company gets to hate ME, while you two go merrily about your business. Well...I'm through. Build your armies, make your allies, whatever it is you gotta do. But you're doing it without me.
Fire pipe-bomb drops her microphone and starts to roll out of the ring as her music plays. Moose and Alex watch her go, and then realize they are in the ring together....they each get a grin but before they can move, Saints and Royalty members come rushing down and separate them, with LD Williams standing right in front of Alexander Darling. Darling just smirks and allows Royalty to escort him from the ring first. Once they are up the ramp, Moosehead Jack and the Saints follow.
DRE GAINES vs. STANK – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match“Skin” plays and Stank makes his way to the ring. The crowd is not exactly behind Stank, but its nothing he hasn’t heard before. The big man steps into the ring and waits for his opponent. “Started From the Bottom” plays and Dre makes his way out. The crowd roars loudly as Dre starts down the ramp. At one point a mother asks if Dre will pose with her daughter, so Dre takes a moment to get the pic. He pats the little girl on the head and she beams ecstatically. When Dre turns back toward the ring, Stank is standing right there. Before Dre can move, Stank cold cocks Dre right between the eyes! The champ goes down in a heap. The crowd boos loudly and the little girl starts to cry.
Stan grabs Dre by the back of the head and slams him face first into the steel, then grabs his arms and pulls them back and lands several CURBSTOMPS driving Dre’s face into the steel. Much like the Moose/Thrash match earlier, this match is not official until both men make it into the ring. Stank pulls Dre back to his feet and whips him into the apron, Dre hits back first and staggers forward and Stank drops him with a clothesline.
The two brawl around ringside for several minutes. Dre starts getting the better of the exchange when Stank grabs a chair and repeatedly slams it down on Dre’s head! Dre is pouring blood. He fights back to his feet, but Stank hits him again. Finally Stank grabs him and hits the STANK-U right on the floor! Dre is in a world of trouble right now. Stank is methodical in his destruction of Dre, he uses anything not nailed down to pummel the champ. Finally officials from the back come out and demand that Stank get Dre into the ring. Finally Stank rolls him into the ring and slowly follows. Dre tries to get to his feet, but he can’t stand. He crawls to the corner and Stank charges in and KILLS him with a big splash. Dre falls to the mat, Stank drops an elbow and covers, but Dre somehow kicks out at two.
Stank waits for Dre to fight to his feet again and kicks him low, then lifts him…….PILEDRIVER! Stank stands over Dre and smirks, he hits the ropes and lands the STANKONIA. Stank covers again, but once again Dre kicks out! The rookie feeds off of the crowd and fights to his feet. Stank lands a few punches, but they have little effect. Dre grabs Stank and slams him between the eyes with a headbutt that sends the big man back into the corner. Dre wipes the blood pouring from his forehead and shakes with rage. He charges into the corner and tries a BIG SPLASH, but Stank catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with a URINAGE! Stank rolls Dre over and locks in the CATCH-22! Dre fights the move, but it is RIGHT in the middle of the ring! There is no escape! The referee is right there asking if Dre wants to quit, but he refuses. Stank cinches the move in even tighter and snarls for Dre to quit, but the kid never does. After several agonizing minutes, he goes limp. The referee quickly checks his arm, it drops once, twice…….three times, this one is over!
WINNER in 9:13 – and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Stank
Russ: I cannot believe Stank is happy winning a title like this! Dre never had a chance after that pre-match attack!
Razz: Hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
Russ: I thought Stank was an honorable man, I thought – even though he is a Saint – he would face Dre one on one and let the best man win! This kind of thing is just sickening!
Razz: I know this, Dre is not going to be the slightest bit happy