OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08

new

mooseheadjack
Administrator

Bookerman

Posts: 12,098

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08 Jul 30, 2008 13:46:17 GMT -5

Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 13:46:17 GMT -5

*Hotel Room*

It's late here on Saturday night in Longneck, Delaware and all has been quiet in the OOWF today. We're getting a look at the penthouse suite at a local hotel that has been reserved by The DEA for this week and the only person in the room is Alexander Darling. And he seems to be talking to himself;

Alexander Darling: I'm so bored. Where is everyone; I mean I know Firewoman is in Mexico, and Alexis went to pick up Hayden from the airport. I think Lucky is working on some stats or something and it's not like Eric is even a part of this group half the time. Always off doing his little thing with Bennett...damn it. I'm so bored. I guess I can check my email.

Alexander walks over to the desk where Alexis left her laptop and he turns it on. He waits a few minutes for it to load and he checks his email which consists of nothing of importance really and he realizes that only took 15 minutes. I guess I can check out some sites and see how the world is thinking of The DEA. So Alex signs into his AIM account and waits for the chat rooms to load up. Within seconds, an IM pops up on the screen.

Snobby Slutxxx16: Hey stud, how u doin 2night?
Booyah Stud 00: Just chillin, really bored and you?
SS16: I'm good. Been hoping to find a stud though. So lonely.
BS00: Awww, that sux. Why so lonely?
SS16: Just nothing 2 do here. My bf broke up w/me

BS00: I'm sorry. That sux. I've had girls break up w/me b4 too.
SS16: What did u do 2 get ovr it?
BS00: Oh, you know...the usual...find someone better and have lots of sex.
SS16: oic.
BS00: Whats wrong?
SS16: I think that's why he dumped me. I won't have sex.
BS00: Why not? Sex is good. lol
SS16: I'm only 16 and I'm a virgin.
BS00: ...
BS00: ...
BS00: ...
SS16: What is it. You don't wanna talk now that u kno 2?
BS00: It's not that. I'm just older than you and I shouldn't be talking to you.
SS16: I won't tell. I swear. Just want to talk to someone.
BS00: I guess that'll be okay. I have literally nothing else to do.
SS16: Kewl. So, a/s/l?
BS00: Ha, I haven't seen that in years. I'm 23/m/currently in DE and I guess you?
SS16: Well, I'm a 16/f/CA.
BS00: And what's ur name?
SS16: G.Georgina Uppercase.
BS00: That's an interesting name. I'm Jack. My friends call me Antler.
SS16: Why?
BS00: Don't ask. LoL.
SS16: ok. So what r u doin?
BS00: Just sittin in a hotel room. Everyone I know is off doin their thing and I had no plans.
SS16: That sux. I should be out partying, but I'm afraid I'd see my boyfriend...ex-bf. Tell me if you think I'm ugly.

Bikini.jpg sent.

BS00: Whoa. You said you were 16?
SS16: Yea, I know. I don't look it.
BS00: No, and if I didn't think I'd get in trouble I'd say how hot you look.
SS16: Aw, that's sweet.
BS00: But your bf had to be dumb to dump ya.
SS16: I know. Right.

. Do you have a gf?
BS00: Kinda seeing someone. But she's on vacation. My sister is actually getting her right now.
SS16: I bet she's prettier than me to have a sweet guy like you.
BS00: Thanx. But I bet you do okay with the guys.
SS16: Well, there is this one guy who keeps looking at me. But I think he just likes my belt. Stupid boy. I'll never give him my belt.
BS00: Huh?
SS16: Nothing, nevermind. So, tell me what you think of this pic.

Panties.jpg sent.

BS00: Hey, what are you doin? You can't be sending that stuff out. I'm way too old for you.
SS16: Just tell me I'm sexy. No one ever tells me I'm sexy. Not even Lance and he's supposed to do everything I tell him. Not even my 1st boyfriend Lucy Womann would tell me I was sexy.
BS00: You know these names sound really familiar.
SS16: Don't worry about it? So, tell me what you're wearing...
BS00: Stop it Georgina. I thought you just wanted to talk.
SS16: I do. But isn't that what boys like. For girls to be all slutty.
BS00: Some, not all.
SS16: u?
BS00: I'm not like most guys hun. I have a history.
SS16: Sounds dirty. Tell me more
SS16: Guess what I'm doin.
BS00: What?
SS16: Takinn' my clothes off.
SS16: Thinkin bout u
SS16: Touchin my belt.
BS00: Stop it right now or I'm gonna go.
SS16: Fine then. Maybe I'll just go find someone down on the beach to make me a woman.
BS00: Don't be like that. Let's just talk. It seems like you need some help.
SS16: I do not. I need someone to show me they love me. Not even my best friends Brian Softcenter and Karen Tuscon.
BS: Seriously, these names all sound so familiar. Where in CA did you say you're from? Maybe I met them while I was there on business.
SS16: All over, but right now I live in Fresno.
BS00: That's interesting. I have a friend Carl from Fresno.
SS16: What's his last name? I know a Carl.
BS00: Dunno actually. Everyone just calls him Carl from Fresno?
SS16: Is he homeless?
BS00: Holy shit, you know Carl from Fresno.
SS16: Unfortunately. He's an asshole. He wouldn't have sex with my friend Don...I mean Lonnie.

I'M NOT A HOMO!!!

BS00: Um, did you hear something?
SS16: No, of course not. How could I hear something...you're in Longneck, DE and I'm in Fresno, CA.
BS00: Wait, I never said.
SS16: I think I gotta go. My mom's home.

Snobby Slut 16 signed off.

Chris Hanson Dateline NBCsigned on.

CH: Excuse me...were you just talking to someone under the screen name of Snobby Slutxxx16?
BS00: I don't know what you're talking about.
CH: I think you must be mistaken. I'm looking at a transcript of the conversation right now and it's quite obvious you were flirting with a 16 year old girl.
BS00: No idea what you're talking about.

Booyah Stud 00 signed off.

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08 Jul 30, 2008 13:52:23 GMT -5

Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 13:52:23 GMT -5

SYB makes his way into the Destroyitarium, goes up to WBK and KNOCKS~! the phone out of his hand.

WBK: You lost your bloody mind, mate?
SYB: What's this aboot me and the Governor?
OBJ: (kills another beer and belches) Oy. We were just messing around... just like we're going to mess up Eric and Bunny! (pause) How was that mate?
WBK: Needs work. (to SYB) Don't you think you're out of your element, mate?
SYB: I don't back doon from a fight, not from the Midnight Cowboys, not from Wally B. King, or even his Asian cousin Foo.
OBJ: (belch) Aboot? Doon? I thought you were a Jew, mate.
SYB: A Jew? I'm full-blooded Canadian, eh? Look at me, do I look Jewish? Do I sound Jewish?
WBK: Well if you stand sideways you look like a bloody golf flag.
OBJ: And you make Woody Allen sound like Barry White.

SYB's face is getting redder and he looks ready to throw.

OBJ: Oy mate.... how about a beer? (throws him a Foster's)
SYB: Giddy-up. (kills the beer in 2 seconds and starts to chew on the can for good measure)
OBJ: Crikey! This bloke can drink! (to WBK) I reckon we expected some other bloke, huh mate?
SYB: (blood slowly dripping from his mouth) Anything else?
OBJ: (still reeling from what he just saw) No, that's aboot it.
SYB: Fine. I'm oot. And to show there are no hard feelings, I'll be taking your beer, eh?

SYB brushes past OBJ and takes two more Foster's out of the cooler. He and OBJ give each other the universal head nod of respect as he exits.

*FADE*

[My5:]

mooseheadjack
Administrator

Bookerman

Posts: 12,098

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08 Jul 30, 2008 13:53:01 GMT -5

Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 13:53:01 GMT -5

"I Disappear" blares over the arena and the crowd pops for the arrival of "The Main Event" Chris Cole & Firechild: The Three Piece Set! They make their way down the ramp and as they enter the ring a large flatscreen is lowered. It remained hovering just above 3PS's heads.

CC: This is cool. Did you order this Fire?

FC: Hell yeah I did. It's sweet isn't it.

CC: But why?

FC: Well I figured why have the monkeys in the truck do something that you can do yourself. (pulls out the remote control) I knew you had a surprise planned for the folks today and I thought it would look much better in 1080i High Def.

CC: That was very thoughtful of you. In fact I d-

FC: Chris, can you hold that thought. I know you have something very important to say but so do I. You see this week I'm in a match against the Dead. You all know who I';m talking about right. The punk weird looking dude that talks in the third person. Well I have a quick message for the Dead.

(turns right towards the camera) Some of you know me by Firechild but you can also call me......The Flame. And The Flame is THE most igniting wrestler in the OOWF today. The Flame is the original and the greatest Onslaught Champion of all time. The Flame is beloved by the people. You can even call The Flame.....The People's Champion. Well The Flame has a message to tell his opponent this week. So if you are at home in front of your TV why don't you come in closer, come on closer. (the camera comes in closer) Now listen good because The Flame will only say this once. The Flame doesn't give a rat's ass about your big thrid person ego. The Flame only cares about kicking your roody poo Candy ass, Zombie humping, Brains Eating, No Charisma ass all the way back to Translyvania. The Flame will ignite the smacketh all over your jabroni self. If you Smelllllllllllll What The Flame is Burning. (eyebrow)

CC: (clapping) Well done. That is good satire. And now as promised is my message to Moosehead Jack. (Crowd Boos) Moose you talk big and bad about beating me to a bloody pulp but the last few weeks I've seen rollup after rollup and pulled tights all around. I'm starting to think I should call you Barry Horowitz.

FC: I hear Horowitz is part of SYB's bloodline.

CC: Well he has the nose. But back to the match this week. I'm sure you are all aware of the stips. If Moose beats me this week then he gets a Cage Match with our GM, The Rick. Now contrary to popular belief The Rick is not dead. He is just vacationing and sort of forgot to leave the keys to the Office with his second in command. Or more likely Davin just misplaced them. I might have knocked some sense out him him back in our wars. But Rick is alive and well and I plan on making damn sure he stays that way. Moose will not get his match in the cage. No, Moose will get a fate far worse. You see when I defeat Moosehead Jack he will be forced to wear a diaper and carry a rattle.

FC: Are you kidding me? The great Moosehead Jack, the violent puppeteer himself will be dressed like a baby. I can't wait to see that.

CC: Can't wait you say? Well your in luck. Because today I have a sneak peek for all of you at home. I give to you Baby Jack.

Capellan is reading this week's card.

*if Cole wins, Moose dresses up in a diaper and carries a bottle for a month, if Moose wins he gets a cage match against GM the Rick

Cap frowns.

"Okay, that's just dumb. Moose wins, he gets to cripple the nominal leader of the opposing faction. He loses, we just get 'humorous' backstage skits out of it. What was Cole thinking?"

Belatedly, he notices a Ninja Cameraman is present.

"Uh, I mean ... totally badical, dude. I'm fighting Davin Moreland. It'll be off the hook, and stuff."

Cap hurries away.

[My5:]

mooseheadjack
Administrator

Bookerman

Posts: 12,098

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08 Jul 30, 2008 13:56:20 GMT -5

Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 13:56:20 GMT -5

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Longneck, Delaware

THE HEELS vs. BLITZ & VOLTAGE

For those watching at home, Blitz and Voltage are already in the ring, while The Heels get a full entrance segment. I wonder what that means? From the way things kick off: not much. Blitz lives u to his name by jumpstarting us with some high speed offense. The blasts an enzugiri to the side of AA's head, then a leaping forearm to knock Adrenaline off the corner. Stomps to AA to stun the larger man, then a standing moonsault gets 2.75. The crowd pops a little for the surprise near fall. Blitz hauls AA up, looking for a DDT, but Adjuster cuts that off with a thumb to the eye. Hey, he's just living up to his team's name. Just in case you missed the idea, AA spits at Voltage, which draws the Australian into the ring, distracting the referee long enough for the Heels to double-team Blitz with a two man flapjack. Then AA goes outside while Johnny stays in. No actual tag, of course. Adrenaline immediately targets the knee with kicks and a leg-lock, then looks for a figure 4, but Blitz makes the ropes. Both men up, and JA tries to clothesline B, who ducks and rolls to the corner to tag in Voltage. V comes in a house afire, with stampy punches to Adrenaline's jaw, but JA takes a leaf out of Adjuster's book and puts a stop to that with a thumb to the eye. Now the Heels amp up affairs, running a series of quick tags as they cut the ring in half and beat Voltage down like a red-headed stepchild. Blitz bounces in his corner, pleading for Voltage to make the tag, but when V finally does get close, JA simply repays Blitz for the earlier forearm. Adrenaline then DDTs Voltage into the mat and tags in AA. Adjuster hoists V into the air as JA scales the turnbuckle. Spike Brainbusta! Voltage is DEAD~! AA makes the cover as Adrenaline cuts off Blitz, and this one is over.
WINNERS BY PINFALL in 8:36 – THE HEELS!

THE NERVE AGENT vs. RYAN HARDCORE

Ryan Hardcore enters first as the fans plead for Lauren Phoenix to remove an article of clothing. One fan gets a little too over-eager and jumps the guardrail in an attempt to get closer to Ms. Phoenix. Ryan Hardcore steps in between the two of them, but Phoenix pushes Hardcore aside. The fan thinks this is his lucky day, but Phoenix kicks him in the gut and drops him with a DDT. The fans chant "That was awesome!" as Hardcore and Phoenix finish their walk to the ring. The Nerve Agent enters next and he looks pumped. Unfortunately, no one in the crowd seems to know who he is. Nerve points to the OOWFtron, where in big flashing letters it says "The Nerve Agent". Various members of the crowd just shrug their shoulders and ask the person next to them who the guy is. This results in an embarrassing couple of minutes where Nerve tries to get a response from the crowd to no avail. He tries acting like a cool guy. No response. He tries acting like an asshole. No response. Eventually he gives up and makes his way to the ring.

Upset at the response (or lack thereof) from the crowd, Nerve jump-starts the match with a running cross body block on Hardcore. He tries for the quick cover but barely gets a one count. Hardcore does not appreciate the quick pin attempt and slaps Nerve right in the face. The Nerve Agent looks stunned as Hardcore slaps him one more time. Hardcore goes for a third slap, but Nerve blocks it and counters with a backslide. One...Hardcore kicks out. The Nerve Agent laughs at Hardcore as he picks him up. Hardcore lands a couple of right hands to the midsection of Nerve and then whips The Nerve Agent into the ropes. Nerve attempts a sunset flip, but Hardcore reverses it into a power bomb! Ouch. Cover. One...Two...Nerve kicks out. Now it's Ryan Hardcore who is laughing as Nerve gets to his feet. Nerve looks slightly wobbly and Hardcore tries to take advantage with a clothesline, but Nerve ducks it and drops Hardcore with a neck breaker. Nerve continues the assault with a few stomps to the head of Ryan Hardcore. Nerve begins to pick Hardcore up as Lauren Phoenix distracts the referee by motioning that she is going to take off her top. Hardcore uses this distraction to hit a vicious low blow on The Nerve Agent. I mean, that looked really painful. Really. As in, it looks like Nerve has three adam's apples now. Phoenix puts her shirt back down and the referee turns around, completely unaware of what just transpired. Instead of going for the cover, Hardcore picks up The Nerve Agent. Nerve looks like he's trying to catch his breath and is a sitting duck as Hardcore kicks him in the stomach and delivers a vicious DDT. Cover. One...Two...Th...Nerve kicks outs! Nerve must have a huge amount of testicular fortitude (literally) to have been able to kick out of that one. A slightly perturbed Hardcore picks up The Nerve Agent and it looks like he's going for the Three Amigos. Unfortunately for Hardcore, Nerve flips out of the first suplex attempt and drops Hardcore with a reverse face buster. Nerve knows that won't be enough to end the match and decides to go to the top rope. He motions to the crowd that he's about to do some crazy flippy shit, but the crowd is still trying to figure out just who he is, exactly. This momentary delay costs The Nerve Agent dearly as Lauren Phoenix pushes Nerve off the top rope while Hardcore distracts the referee. Nerve hits the canvas hard. Hardcore staggers to his feet and makes his way over to Nerve. Nerve is struggling to his feet as well, but Hardcore makes it over in time and drops The Nerve Agent with a knee to the stomach. Hardcore whips Nerve into the corner and Nerve hits the turnbuckle hard. Hardcore charges in but Nerve back flips over the top rope and onto the apron. Hardcore bounces hard off the turnbuckle and Nerve springs off the top rope and nails Hardcore with a missile dropkick. Nerve goes for the cover. One...Two...Hardcore gets his foot on the bottom rope. Nerve seems a little frustrated but decides to keep up the attack. He picks up Hardcore and whips him into the ropes. Nerve bounces himself off the opposite rope and when the two meet in the middle Nerve drops him with a spinning heel kick. Hardcore is flat on his back. The Nerve Agent makes his way to the top rope once again and signals for the Shooting Star Press. This time a few members of the crowd actually respond. Again Lauren Phoenix gets up on the apron and tries to interfere, but this time Nerve launches himself off the top rope a split-second before Lauren Phoenix can get there. Nerve soars through the air and nails a beautiful Shooting Star Press in the middle off the ring. Cover. One...Two...Three.
WINNER in 9:27 - The Nerve Agent

THE DEAD vs. FIRECHILD

Slow feeling-out process to start. The Dead remains expressionless as the two lock up for the first time. The two struggle a bit before The Dead gets the upper hand and pushes FC to a corner. Barros calls for a break, and The Dead breaks clean..... then scares Barros as the Dead lunges back in the corner and throttles Firechild mercilessly. Barros tries to break it up but the Dead just glowers a moment before yanking FC out of the corner. The Dead faces poor Barros, who pales and leaps out of the ring before The Dead gets any ideas.

FC is on the mat coughing as The Dead picks him up off the mat and shoves him to the ropes. The Dead floors FC with a double forearm to the face, then methodically stomps FC as Barros finds his courage and returns to the ring. The Dead covers for a one count, FC kicking out quickly. FC is still catching his breath, and a second pin by the Dead gets a two count. The Dead pulls FC back to his feet and slings him again, setting for a hip toss but FC blocks The Dead and hip tosses him instead! The Dead is quickly back to his feet and gets a deep arm drag for his troubles. The Dead tries again with the same result. FC cinches in the arm bar and calls to the crowd. He carefully pulls the Dead back to his feet and hammerlocks the arm, then unwinds the Dead for a shove to the ropes, catching the dead on the rebound with a wheel kick! FC rolls to the Dead and covers and surprisingly gets a two count! The Dead feels that Barros counted too fast and GLARES at Barros, who ducks behind Firechild. FC stands his ground as The Dead gets back to his feet, locking stares with FC. The two "Discuss" what's going to happen next when the Dead whips around and slaps the taste out of Firechild's mouth! FC is stunned, and The Dead flattens FC with a DDT! He steps over Firechild's carcass to intimidate Barros some more, but Barros nervously stands his ground. The Dead orders Barros to count, and the does, 1, 2, - NO! The Dead punches down Firechild a couple of times and covers again, 1, 2, -NO! The Dead accosts poor Barros again, who makes the mistake of backing into a corner instead of leaving the ring.

The Dead LOOOOOMS over Barros for a moment, not sure what he wants to do... but strangely backs of (Barros is relieved). The Dead then turns back to Firechild, who is back on his feet! He slings The Dead to the corner but it's reversed! Firechild SLAMS into the corner and The Dead buries a shoulder into Firechild! He repeats the blow before picking FC up and hanging him on the ropes! The crowd boos heartily as he climbs up to gather FC, but the boos turn to screams as The Dead hits a CLOSE THE CASKET OFF THE TOP ROPE! Barros looks worried as he makes the 3 count.
WINNER in 7:55 - The Dead

After the match, The Dead walks to the back without another word. Barros helps Firechild out of the ring.

THE MIDNIGHT SONS vs. IHOP

IHOP, accompanied by the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, are first to the ring. They accost the fans less than usual, and seem to be focused on the matters at hand. They warm up in the ring as the Midnight Sons step onto the stage and the crowd erupts. The Sons pause for a moment at the top of the ramp and soak up the cheers before making their way to the ring. IHOP and the Sons exchange words and referee Angelo Barros reacts quickly, sending Spin Hansen and Skurge out of the ring and calling for the bell.
SYB and D.H. Magnusson meet in center ring and talk trash. SYB gets right worked up and slaps DH across the face. DH’s eyes go wide and SYB runs for his corner. DH lunges after him. SYB turns at the last second and trips DH, dropping him face-first into the second turnbuckle. SYB jumps up and stomps on the back of DH’s head. He gets a few more kicks in and makes the tag. Skurge comes in and IHOP pull DH to his feet. They whip him across the ring and SYB goes low with a spear as Skurge goes high with a clothesline. SYB heads to the corner as Skurge goes for the cover. DH kicks out at two. Skurge grabs a headlock as DH gets up. DH tries to shoot him off, but Skurge is having none of it, so DH picks him up, carries him to the Sons’ corner, and drops him, head-first, into Spin’s outstretched boot. DH makes the tag, and the Sons toss Skurge to the ropes, planting him with a flapjack. Spin flips Skurge over and pulls him to a sitting position. He drives the point of his elbow into Skurge’s forehead, then does it again. He plants Skurge with a body slam, comes off the ropes, and drops a leg across his throat. He covers, and SYB pulls him off at two. DH tries to come in to even things out, but Angelo is there to stop him. SYB takes advantage by lining up a field goal kick to Spin’s face. Skurge pulls Spin to his feet and pins his arms, allowing SYB to deliver another kick considerably lower. Spin crumples to the mat and SYB hightails it out of the ring as Angelo turns around. Skurge covers Spin, but only gets a two count. Skurge is up first and kicks away as Spin tries to get up. Spin takes a beating, but manages to catch a foot and yank Skurge off his feet. Spin mounts him and starts pummeling him with punches. Skurge manages to throw him off and roll to his feet. They lock up and Spin gets in a knee to the stomach. An Irish whip and a clothesline take Skurge down and Spin goes to his corner and makes the tag. DH drills Skurge with a kick to the head, then comes off the ropes with an elbow drop. DH hauls Skurge to his feet and locks on a rear naked choke. SYB darts in past Barros and punches DH in the face, which is enough to break the hold. Barros forces SYB back to his corner while DH drags Skurge back to the Sons’ corner.
After the tag the Sons pummel Skurge in the corner, then plant him with a tandem suplex. Spin goes to the ropes and gets sucker punched by SYB. Spin lunges at him, which gives Skurge time to regain his bearings and attack Spin from behind. He drives Spin into the corner, then knocks the air out of him with a shoulder block. He pulls Spin out of the corner for an Irish whip, then pulls him back, scoops him up, and hangs him upside down in on the turnbuckles. He tags SYB, who comes in and climbs the ropes. SYB plants one foot in Spin’s crotch, places his hand over his heart, and sings “Oh Can-a-da!” SYB jumps down, kicking Spin in the head on the way. Spin falls off the turnbuckles into the ring. SYB drags him to the middle of the ring and, after a struggle, ties on a Sharpshooter. Spin gets his hands under him and manages to drag SYB to the ropes. Unfortunately, he reaches the ropes closest to Skurge, who delivers a swift kick to Spin’s head as Barros forces SYB to break the hold. SYB pulls a dazed Spin to his feet and sets up a pile driver. Wait – he’s signaling for the Canadian Destroyer! SYB leaps – and Spin grabs his legs and snaps him back, driving SYB’s head into the mat. Spin covers, and Skurge comes in to save his partner, but DH sprints across the ring and hits a clothesline that takes both men over the ropes to the floor. Barros counts One…Two…Three.
WINNERS in 14:46, The Midnight Sons.

DAVIN MORELAND vs. CAPELLAN

Capellan’s out first to the roar of the crowd, and Capellan eats it up, slapping hands and talking to fans before making his way into the ring. He poses on all 4 turnbuckles before tucking his glasses into Sterling Glaw’s shirt pocket, drawing the usual laugh. The crowd murmurs in anticipation of the next entrant and as the single guitar blasts out of the PA, the murmur gets even louder. Finally the heavy section of “Pull Me Under” kicks in and Davin Moreland appears at the ramp arms raised, and the crowd gives an equally nice pop. Moreland slaps hands on the way down before doing his double hop into the ring and he poses on all 4 turnbuckles as well before hopping down and nodding to Glaw, and making eye contact with Capellan. Moreland gets a big grin on his face, and holds out his hand to Capellan. Capellan does the look around thing before taking it and they shake hands; much to the delight of Sterling Glaw, who appears to be refereeing his first Old School Onslaught Rules bout in a long time, and he gleefully rings the bell. WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Collar and Elbow tie-up to start, and the bigger, stronger Moreland gets Capellan into the corner pretty easily. Glaw comes in and calls for the break and…we get a clean break! Moreland claps for himself and everyone in the ring smiles again. The crowd seems to enjoy this as well. Back to the middle, Glaw calls for the two to lock up again. They do, and this time Capellan slips out and gets a hammerlock on Moreland. Moreland does the two slaps on the shoulder thing (sigh) and turns out of it quickly, reversing into a hammerlock and then quickly an arm ringer. Capellan crouches on the mat and kips back and forth, finally able to reverse the arm wringer. Now, Moreland crouches and does the same spot and reverses from the arm wringer back into the hammerlock. Capellan quickly drops to his knees and leverages the big man up and takes him over. Moreland applauds and the crowd is digging the WORKRATE~! Davin rushes Capellan…deep arm drag! Another rush, another deep arm drag! Another rush, and Capellan goes for a third arm drag but it’s blocked. Reverse hip toss from Moreland but Capellan lands on his feet. Kick to the hamstring, kick to the hamstring, kick to the hamstring and Moreland hits the mat. Capellan runs the near ropes, but Davin lands a BIG Back Body drop, from his knees. Crowd enjoyed that one. Davin is up first and hits a snap mare takeover on Capellan followed up by a couple of kicks to the head, forcing the now-woozy Capellan to his back. Davin wastes no time, runs the far ropes and hits a RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Cover: 1, t-no. Didn’t even get two as Capellan kicked out. Davin looks around and grabs Capellan’s legs. He easily turns him over into an ELEVATED BOSTON CRAB (Or, walls of Jericho, or Fire, or whatever)! Capellan is in TROUBLE. Capellan is really feeling it in his lower back, but he can’t drag Moreland to the ropes. He takes a deep breath and bridges himself back, and is able to leverage Davin down and put his shoulders to the mat while still in the hold! 1, 2, NO! Davin realized what’s going on and flops out of it.

Moreland is to his feet quickly as Capellan crawls to the near ropes to help himself up. Davin charges. LOW BRIDGE! But Davin somehow lands on his feet on the outside. Without realizing what’s taken place, Capellan is already running the ropes, and doesn’t notice Davin just standing there until he’s already in the air for a 360 PLANCHA! Davin catches Capellan mid-air and hits a sick Belly-to-Belly Suplex to the Retaining Wall! Glaw is standing at the ropes screaming for Davin to bring Capellan back in this instant. Davin obliges, and as he’s pushing the groggy Capellan to the apron, Capellan hits a DROP-TOE HOLD! Davin smashes into the mat face first and hits the mat on the outside. Capellan quickly rolls in to break the count, and hops the closest turnbuckle. He faces Davin on the mat and leaps with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO DAVIN OUTSIDE THE RING! Crowd responds with a nice “Holy Shit” pop. Capellan is up quickly as he tries to pull up Moreland. The wobbly and now bleeding (thanks to the face plant on the apron) Moreland gets WHIPPED INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Glaw is not happy, and demands Capellan get in the ring right this instant! Capellan rolls in to break the count, and now inside the ring hops the turnbuckle closest the now obliterated steps. He turns his back to the crowd and the prone Davin on the stairs and takes off…MOONSAULT…NOBODY HOME! Capellan drills himself on the stairs and is in agony on the outside. Glaw is REALLY not happy. Moreland manages to get up now and climb into the ring. HE gets up on the nearest turnbuckle and signals to the crowd who just popped all sorts of batshit…He wouldn’t…630 TO THE OUTSIDE ON CAPELLAN! Lots of “Holy Shit”-ing going on with that one. Davin lands in good shape and is able to bundle Capellan back into the ring, as Moreland follows we can see his awesome blade job crimson mask. Glaw says something like “Stop with the outside stuff” to Davin, who just laughs at him.

Capellan is close to the ropes and trying to pull himself up while Davin runs over and gets a reverse waist lock on Capellan. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Davin runs the close ropes for the BIG HOGAN LEGDROP! And he covers: 1, 2, Th-NO! SOMEHOW Capellan kicked out, and Davin looks…perplexed. He picks Capellan off the mat and hits a BIG DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX! He covers: 1, 2, Th-NO! AGAIN he kicked out! He picks up Capellan again and hits a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT! That HAS to be it. Cover: 1, 2, Th-NO!! Capellan kicks out AGAIN! Davin laughs out of frustration. He grabs the leg of the prone Capellan…ANKLE LOCK! Capellan is alert now, but in absolute pain as he tries to crawl to the ropes, with no avail. Capellan, on the verge of tapping, manages, with his last ounce of strength, to roll through, and Davin catches the ropes with his throat. As he bounces off, Capellan hits the PELE KICK with rattles Moreland but doesn’t know him down. Chop-woo, Chop-woo, Chop-woo all the way to the ropes. He whips Moreland to the far ropes and hits a SICK SPINNING SIDE KICK! Moreland is dazed and bend over. SCISSORS KICK! Davin drops to a knee. He grabs Davin’s arm and whips him hard into the turnbuckle. Capellan’s momentum drops him to the mat. Capellan is up as Davin stumbles backward from the turnbuckle SUN-TZU KICK! That should do it! He covers: 1, 2, Thre….NO!!!!

Russ: BAH GAWD HE KICKED OUT!

Capellan has a look of true shock on his face as he looks at Glaw, who points at the OOWF logo on his chest and swears it was 2. Moreland is motionless on the mat. Capellan climbs the turnbuckle and twirls his finger in the air…MACHO MAN ELBOW! Cover…1, 2, Thre…..NO!!! Moreland kicks out again and this time Capellan doesn’t hesitate and runs the ropes and hits a ROLLING THUNDER! Cover: 1, 2, NO! Capellan can’t believe it. Back to the top he goes, but as he gets to the top turnbuckle, Davin miraculously stands up, does the Shelton Benjamin Memorial ™ one hop the turnbuckle thing, and catches Capellan and lifts him up in a Military Press! He tosses Capellan high into the air and hits a FLYING TOP ROPE REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Later Capellan. The Academic Cover: 1, 2, 3!
WINNER IN 22:36 by PINFALL…DAVIN MORELAND!

After the match, the crowd is on their feet and Glaw is asking both men to get up. Moreland is on his feet first, and Glaw raises his hand to a HUGE pop. Moreland helps Capellan to his feet and holds up Capellan’s arm while pointing to him with an even bigger pop. Davin extends his hand and Capellan accepts! They do the one-arm hug thing before raising each other’s arms and leaving down the ramp together.

[My5:]

mooseheadjack
Administrator

Bookerman

Posts: 12,098

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08 Jul 30, 2008 13:56:51 GMT -5

Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 13:56:51 GMT -5

ALEXANDER DARLING & FIREWOMAN vs. F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III & ECOSYSTEM

This tag team match we’re about to have here at Mayhem is sure to be interesting as the interweaving issues between LOADED and DEA are mighty complicated. Firewoman has taken the Intercontinental Champion to the limit twice but has found a way to keep his title in both cases. And recently we saw that there was some non-verbal communication between MacCappington and Alexander Darling which has cause Firewoman to be extremely paranoid the last few weeks. That reached a boiling point earlier this week when Firewoman and Alexander had their first physical confrontation which left Fire seething. We also have no idea how the members of LOADED are dealing with MacCappington’s decision to seemingly back current General Manager the Rick. We’ll see how they’re doing first as Vivaldi’s “Spring” plays throughout the arena. Ecosystem is out first and right behind is F. Fonzworth MacCappington looking like a cat stole the canary.

Meanwhile, we’re getting word from the back that there’s an argument in the guerilla position where Firewoman and Alexander Darling are waiting for their entrance while Alexis quietly stands by the side.

Sound guy: So are you both coming out to the DEA music?

Firewoman: No we fucking are not. I'm coming out alone to my own music.

Sound guy: Gwen Stefani?

Fire: WHATEVER.

Alexander Darling: Just playing her regular music, damn.

The sound guy scurries back to his sound booth. The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife.

Alexander: Listen....Fire....

Fire: Just shut it. I'm going out there to wrestle my ass off and then that is it. We are through.[/i]

Alexander: Fire, you can't do that... After everything...

Fire: Everything? Let me tell you this, Alex. If you EVER come at me from behind like a coward again, you will be sorry. You forget just exactly what I have done, and what I can do, when I'm properly provoked.

Alexander: No, I haven't...

Fire: So if you ever jump me like that again, instead of face to face, you will be sorry. I will come after you....and better yet, I will come after Alexis.... And who knows, maybe I'll let an old friend know where to find her....

“Firewoman” by The Cult hits and she starts down the ramp, leaving Darling visibly concerned.

Alexis Darling: You know what you have to do now right?

Alexander looks down,
Alexander: Yes, I know.

Meanwhile, Firewoman has made it to the ring and is looking back up the entrance way as she waits for her partner to come out. “Prelude 12/21” has already played through once and there is no sign of Alexander Darling.

Sound guy: Mr. Darling…are you going out there?

Alexander: Yea, sorry. Play it again will ya.

“There Can Be Only One” booms over the sound system as the lights go dark except for the white strobe as “Prelude 12/21” by AFI starts. The drum hits and out steps Alexander Darling from the back. The only thing we can see behind his face guard are his deep blue eyes which are staring daggers at Firewoman. Alexis is behind her brother and seems to be pushing him towards the ring as Queen’s “Princes of the Universe” begins to play. Darling makes his way to the ring and doesn’t even get in the ring as he just stands on the apron. He tells Angelo Barros to start the match as he gives FFM a look and nods. Firewoman notices this and gets in Darling’s face but before anything can happen MacCappington attacks.

The bell rings and we’re underway here in Longneck, DE for this tag team match. MacCappington is pounding away on Fire in the DEA corner and Alexander is purposely avoiding making the tag in. FFM finally whips Fire into the opposite corner. MacCappington and Eco begin a gradual process of tearing Firewoman apart and in the opposite corner we can see Alexis at her brother’s side seemingly screaming at him to stop being an ass. He’s ignoring her and instead has his eyes 100% focused on what’s happening in the ring. Fire has made a few valiant attempts to fight back and has made it halfway to her corner before Eco or Mac have cut her off and stopped her in her tracks.

Currently MacCappington has Firewoman leaned up against the corner and is laying into her with back elbows. He tags out to Ecosystem but hits one more back elbow which drops Fire to a sitting position. Simultaneously Eco hops over the top rope and in one fluid motion hits a drop kick while FFM kills Fire dead with a boot scrape. Eco drags Fire to the center of the ring and goes for the lazy cover…1….2….And no, Darling nonchalantly drags Eco off Fire before slowly walking back into his corner. Darling continues his staring at Firewoman and now we can see MacCappington yelling across the ring at him. We can’t exactly make out what he’s saying, but it seems to be getting pretty heated, but yet still no actual emotion from Alexander.

Ecosystem has now dragged Firewoman to her feet and he goes for an STO but Fire reverses it by somehow doing a complete standing flip and dropping an elbow on the in-motion Eco. That may have taken everything out of her though as both are down on the mat. They’re both dragging themselves with every last drop of energy to their respective corners. But on the outside of the ring, we see that Lance and Alexis have gotten into an argument that’s gotten Alexander’s attention. And he hops down to find out what’s going on just as Fire makes the corner and goes for the tag. She looks up and sees that the corner is empty and before anything else can happen, Eco has made the tag and FFM is in the ring dragging Fire back to the LOADED corner. Meanwhile Alexander realizes what just happened and looks down dejectedly as he hops back up on the apron.

FFM is now really hitting Fire with some power moves, but no matter what he does, he CAN NOT put her away. She has more fight in her than most of that locker room and we don’t know if the added issue is just how pissed off she is right now at her partner. A partner whose look has barely changed since this match started as he continues to just stare at the abuse Fire is taking in the ring. Back and forth tags between Fonzie and Eco are just really wearing Fire down and it’s now only a matter of time before they finally finish her off. As they continue to pound on Fire and she continues to fight back in little spurts we can almost see something snap in Alexander and he starts pacing up and down the apron yelling at Firewoman to fight back and get to the corner. The ref is trying to get him to stay in the corner but he ignores him and continues to pace.

Ecosystem has picked Firewoman up by the hair and she tries to fight back but after a quick knee to the stomach, Eco has the advantage and picks Firewoman up for a suplex. He holds her up for a second and what a move…he kills Firewoman dead with a spinning brain buster. He goes for the cover…
1…
And that’s all as Alex picks him and tosses him off Firewoman. The ref is trying to get Alexander out of the ring, but he drops to the mat and gets in Fire’s face and is screaming at her to fight back. That she’s better than this. MacCappington is in the ring now and as Alexander gets up the two go nose-to-nose. Alexander just ignores him and goes back to his corner and we still can’t clarify what it is FFM has been saying to him. The ref gets the two men out of the ring and begins a count on Eco and Fire. The ref gets to 6 before both Eco and Fire get to their feet. The two opponents stare at each other for a second before Eco turns and dives to his corner to tag in MacCappington. Firewoman turns to her corner and looks at Alexander who is begging for the tag but she has no idea whether or not to trust him. She seems really unsure what to do, but what she does know is that FFM is charging from behind and showing some amazing flexibility, Firewoman drops into a split and FFM goes flying over the top of Firewoman right into The DEA corner.

Alexander grabs a hold of FFM and holds him there pleading with Firewoman to tag him in. She seems tentative and just as she makes the tag MacCappington breaks away and heads towards his corner where Ecosystem is standing up next to his partner. Alexander slowly steps into the ring and Firewoman is slumped into the corner trying to hold herself up and nothing is happening in the ring. MacCappington is pointing at Darling and then at Firewoman. Firewoman is getting a little nervous as she sees Darling looking back at her and then back towards MacCappington. Darling turns his back to FFM and starts walking towards Fire and we see a smile wider than the eye can see plastered across Fonzie’s face. As Alexander takes steps in the direction of Fire we see him nod at her and mouth something to her. She closes her eyes and nods as she realizes what’s about to happen.

Alexander jumps up onto Fire and attempts a monkey flip on her but he put a lot of power behind that and she flies right into Ecosystem and in one motion takes him out with a flying head scissors. Darling rolls through the flip and uses the distraction on FFM to put him down with a roaring forearm smash. Firewoman and Darling share a look as the two hit stereo dropkicks on the members of LOADED. The two kip-up together and it looks like DEA is actually on the same page as Eco and Mac bail to the outside on opposite sides of the ring. Darling and Fire start jumping and they bounce off the ropes and cross in the center. Darling flies through the middle rope and completely takes out Ecosystem with a Tope con Hilo. Meanwhile Firewoman goes the other way and flies over the top with a corkscrew suicide plancha that lays out MacCappington. Alexander and Fire hop up on the apron at the same time and give each other another look before hitting simultaneous Asai Moonsaults.

DEA is on FIRE right now. Angelo Barros is having a hard time gaining control of this match but he may be catching a break as Darling tosses Ecosystem into the ring and he and Fire both get on the apron and make their way into the ring. Alex whips Eco into the ropes and Fire stops him with a kick to the stomach to bend him over. Darling with a kick to the side of the head to drop Eco to a knee and a SHINING WIZARD by Firewoman to complete the combo. Barros is trying to get Firewoman out of the ring, but is having no success as now MacCappington is making his way back into the ring. Firewoman takes Alexander by the hand and whips him right at FFM who is in the corner and Darling drills Mac with a leaping splash. Firewoman follows him right in with a cartwheel back flip elbow.

Ecosystem is back up and he charges Fire in the corner. All 4 people in the ring are now brawling and Barros has had enough and calls for the bell. But it doesn’t stop the 4 people in the ring from their fighting. Darling has the advantage on MacCappington and actually, YES, he gets him up and hits him with a Crucifix Bomb. He has complete control of the IC champ right now and looks to continue working him over when Alexis gets his attention from the outside and points him to the other side of the ring where Ecosystem has Firewoman up for the Go2Sleep. Alexander doesn’t even take a second to stop his attack on FFM and takes off like a bullet and annihilates Ecosystem with a spear that takes em both flying into the ropes. Firewoman looks a little shocked at the ferocity that Darling just saved her, but she shakes the cobwebs out and helps him to his feet. The two clasps forearms and actually give each other a little bow before walking to opposite corners. Darling picks up MacCappington and hits a scoop slam in the center of the ring. Firewoman does the same to Ecosystem and now the two members of LOADED are parallel to each other in the center of the ring.

Alexander Darling and Firewoman go through the motions and YES…..DUELING CURBSTOMPS, excuse me, 1 CURBSTOMP and 1 FIRESTOMP in the center of the ring.

Security has finally made their way into the ring and is pushing DEA away and out of the ring. Alexander hops down first and actually puts his hand up to help Firewoman off the apron and she surprisingly accepts the help. Even more surprising is the smile that seems to be shared between Alexis Darling and Firewoman as The DEA heads to the back. Alexis and Firewoman go backstage first leaving Alexander on the ramp by himself. He turns to face the ring and gives a look to MacCappington. Darling makes the universal signal for the belt. MacCappington reluctantly nods??? at him which is returned by another nod from Darling.

What the hell is going on here with these two?
WINNERS - No Contest at 14:28.

DONOVAN VIPER vs. LD WILLIAMS – Street Fight

Viper enters first, but doesn't give Williams the opportunity to make it to the ring, meeting him in the aisle and they slug it out. To the rail goes Viper, but he kicks LDW in the face and sends Williams to the other railing. Viper detaches the railing and tries to slam it on Williams, but LDW rolls out of the way and then manages a drop toehold that sends DV face first to the steel. Williams pulls Viper up and slams him on the railing. Viper rolls off, and Williams sets the railing on top of him. But before LDW can proceed further, Viper launches the railing at him from the floor and it catches him right in the jaw. Viper suplexes Williams on the detached guardrail, and then again on the floor. DV sets his eyes on some audio equipment by the entrance and drags Williams over there. LDW goes to the eyes to break and drives Viper's head into the side of a large speaker, and then THROUGH the speaker! Williams grabs a large case of some sort and drills Viper in the back with it, and DV falls out of the speaker bleeding. LDW goes to the top of the stage and hits Viper with a double axe handle. STF is blocked though with a microphone and cord, and Viper manages to flip LDW over and attempt to choke him out with the cord. Williams to his feet and gets a jawbreaker. Referee Junior Hale tries to talk both guys into getting back to the ring, but it's for naught. Williams up, but Viper ducks a clothesline and looks for a Tiger Driver. LDW blocks that however and backdrops Viper onto some lighting fixtures in an awkward bump. Williams catches his breath, but takes too long, because Viper grabs a large strobe light and smashes it over Williams' face! Viper comes across some fluorescent bulbs and smashes them one at a time over LDW's body. By now, they have worked their way past the curtain and backstage and Viper suplexes Williams into the side of a dumpster. Viper tries to press LDW over his head and toss him in the dumpster, but Williams falls off the back and drives Viper into the dumpster face first. Williams pulls Viper up and they go thru another curtain and now they're back in the crowd. They slug it out through the crowd and suddenly they are back at the aisle way. Viper hotshots Williams on the guardrail... then hops the rail and DDT's him off it! Smack on the concrete. Viper rolls Williams into the ring but takes too long getting in and only gets a two count. Viper drags him up and sends him sternum first to the turnbuckle. Rollup gets two. Viper looks for the SIDEWINDER~! But Williams shoves him off and Viper caroms into the referee. LDW with a blatant low blow on the rebound. Williams grabs the STF, and locks it in, but there's no ref. Viper grabs the ropes, but that does no good, and Viper fights to grab the apron, and pulls himself out of the ring to break the hold. LDW untangles himself from the ropes and goes to wake the referee up. Viper gets to his feet and slowly crawls back up on the apron... and Stank sneaks down the aisle, shoulder wrapped all to hell, and WALLOPS Viper in the back of the head with a baseball bat!! DV crumbles between the middle and top ropes and lands on the mat with a thud, body all folded up. Williams arouses Hale, turns and sees Viper out cold. LDW looks around in confusion, but then jumps on Viper, hooking both legs... and getting the three count.
WINNER in 15:20: L.D. WILLIAMS

[My5:]

mooseheadjack
Administrator

Bookerman

Posts: 12,098

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 03-26-08 Jul 30, 2008 13:57:18 GMT -5

Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 30, 2008 13:57:18 GMT -5

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CHRIS COLE – If Cole Wins, Moose Has To Wear a Diaper and Carry a Baby Bottle For a Month, if Moose Wins, He Gets a Steel Cage Match With GM the Rick at MADNESS IV

Moose comes to the ring first grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary. He slumps into the corner and waits for the Main Event Chris Cole to make his way to the ring. Cole is announced and comes straight to the ring, no slapping hands, no posing for pictures, none of that, he is all business tonight. Cole climbs between the ropes and stands glaring at Moose. Moose slowly pulls himself up to his feet and makes his way to the center of the ring to go nose to nose with Cole. The referee gets close between the two men and tries to give instructions, but they ignore him. The Invisible Ninja Cameraman catches Cole asking Moose “why, why Rick in a cage, why not me? Be a man” Moose just grins and slowly shakes his head. This seems to push Cole over the edge and he nails Moose with a forearm to the side of the head, then whips him into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Cole pulls Moose out of the corner and kicks him in the midsection, and while he is doubled over he drives his knee into Moose’s face a couple of times, then takes Moose over with a snap suplex. And floats over, but Moose kicks out before the referee can count one. Cole pulls Moose to a sitting position and drives his knee into Moose’s back, then hits the ropes and lands a stiff kick to the back of Moose’s head. Moose slumps to the mat and Cole covers, but Moose kicks out at one. Cole pulls Moose to his feet again and plants him back on the mat with a belly to belly suplex and covers again, but Moose kicks out before the two count and rolls out of the ring. Moose tries to goad Cole to the outside and Cole almost takes the bait, then backs off and tells the ref to start the ten count. Moose waits outside till the referee hits eight then scrambles back into the ring. Cole catches him with a knee to the midsection and tries a whip to the ropes, but Moose reverses it and catches him with an elbow to the face that stuns him, then follows that with a side Russian leg sweep. Moose floats over and gets a one count on a quick pin attempt but Cole is quickly back to his feet. Moose grabs him by the head and runs him into the middle turn buckle face first. Moose leaves him there and gets a running start and drives his knee into the back of Cole’s head sending him slumping to the mat. Moose lands a few stiff kicks to Cole’s ribs, then pulls him to his feet and sets him on the top rope and climbs up and throws Cole off the top with a release overhead suplex. Cole slams to the mat and grabs his lower back in pain. Moose is immediately on him, raining shots down on his face. Moose covers, and gets a one count. Moose pulls Cole to his feet and shoots him between the ropes to the floor and follows him outside. Jack pulls Cole to his feet and whips him into the stairs back first. Cole hits hard and grimaces in pain. Moose charges in with a knee to the face, but Cole moves out of the way and Moose’s knee meets the steel stairs. Both men are down and the referee is laying his count on. Moose gets to his feet first and rolls under the bottom rope. It doesn’t look like Cole is going to make it, until GM the Rick runs down from the back and pulls him up and rolls him under the bottom rope. Rick stands there encouraging Cole, Moose stares daggers through Rick, and slowly leaves the ring and comes after Rick. Rick backs away and begs Moose to reconsider. Moose grabs him by the shirt and is about to murder him when Cole nails Moose from behind with a forearm to the back of the head. Cole grabs Moose and in a fit of rage slams him face first into the ring post, then jackhammers shots to his face. Moose comes up a bloody mess and Cole rolls him back into the ring. Moose is woozy from the shot to the post and Cole capitalizes with a bulldog that drives Moose to the mat. Cole gets to his feet and grabs the leg that Moose slammed into the stairs and drops several elbows across the knee, then locks him in the figure four right in the middle of the ring. Moose howls in pain and tries to reverse it, but he can’t turn it over, so he starts pulling himself to the ropes. After several agonizing minutes, Moose makes it to the ropes and forces the break. Moose pulls himself to his feet and tries to take a few steps but Cole charges in and clips the back of his leg sending Moose back to the mat in pain. Cole grabs Moose again and tries to lock on a sharpshooter, but Moose rakes the eyes forcing the break. As Cole staggers around trying to regain his vision Moose gets to his feet and hits a running knee to Cole’s back that sends him crashing into the referee. The two smack heads and the referee goes down. Moose snarls at Cole and tries to pull him to his feet, but Cole hits a jaw breaker, then catches Moose with a spine buster. Cole pulls Moose off the mat and PLANTS him with the HEADLINER!! Moose is out! Cole covers, but there is no referee! Rick races around the ring and tries to revive the ref, but its no use. Cole gets up and he tries to revive the ref too, allowing Moose to get to his feet and stagger around the ring. Cole stands back up and Moose catches him with a spinning fist to the side of the head, then plants him with a DDT. Moose is too weak to even try and cover. As both men struggle to get to their feet Rick looks around in desperation outside the ring, he sees Cole struggling to get to his feet, as he stands up, Rick grabs a chair and tosses it into the ring for Cole, but Moose steps in front of Cole and grabs it, then in one motion, turns and PASTES Cole across the face with it! Cole falls to the mat, out cold, Moose falls on him, and the referee has finally come to enough to make the dramatically slow three count while Moose glares at Rick outside the ring. Rick’s face goes white as he realizes what has just happened.
WINNER in 18:29 – Moosehead Jack

ERIC O’MAC vs. BUNNY vs. OUTBACK JACK – Onslaught Championship 15 Minute Beat the Clock Match

Eric O'Mac bursts through the curtain, the fabulous Ms. Alexis Darling following close behind. After an extended pose of douchebaggery, he makes his way down the ramp. He steps up onto the apron and holds the ropes open for Alexis. What a gentleman, this Eric O'Mac is. The duo strikes a still pose in the ring as the lights go out and "To Be Loved" cuts off. Moments pass before a spotlight flashes over to the top of the ramp, on the stage. Bunny is stalled out in a one-handed handstand, holding a mic with his free hand. He spins around on his one hand, then drops down and gets in a few head spins before rolling over onto his feet. He calls for the music to cut off, then goes to speak. As he holds the mic to his face, Eric speaks into his own mic.

Eric: Look here. This is my third match in a row against this little Bunny Bitch. What has he done to earn these title shots?

Bunny: Ayo, asshole. If you haven't been up your bitches ass (pointing to Alexis) for the last few weeks, maybe you would have seen me kicking yours.

Alexis takes the mic from Eric: Shut it, bitch! You can just walk your furry little ass back through that curtain and forget about your title shot!

Bunny: Oh, I'm so sorry. Honestly, I am. It's Alex who's always inside you, right?

Eric takes the mic from Alexis: Go ahead and talk shit, pussy. If you were a real man, you would hop your way down that ramp and battle it out with me.

Bunny: Oh, you wanna battle? Bitch, I got more rhymes than you've got dimes. I'll hit your so hard and from out of nowhere, you'll be wishin' you ain't ever picked a fight with this hare. I grab a mic and diss your bitch...

Eric: Can we cut his fuckin' mic, please? Right now, cut his mic off.

Bunny's mic is cut as he hits it a couple times, trying to get it to work. Eric smiles as he opens the ropes for Alexis to exit the ring. Outback Jack runs though the curtain and TOSSES BUNNY OFF THE STAGE! Bunny lands in a heap of electrical equipment and wiring, sparks shooting out everywhere. Outback Jack takes no time to admire his handiwork and runs toward the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, as the starting bell sounds, and is met with stomps by Eric. He fights through it and gets to his feet. Outback and O'Mac exchange quick rights and lefts. Outback gets the upper hand and pushes Eric into the ropes. He whips him to the opposites and goes for a clothesline on the rebound. Eric ducks it and locks Outback in a SLEEPER! Outback is trying to escape, but Eric has the hold locked on good. Outback runs backwards and sandwiches O'Mac between himself and the turnbuckles. Eric's hold loosens up and Jack is able to slip out. He hits Eric with a back elbow, then turns around and lifts him up to the top rope. He steps up the turnbuckles and grabs a hold of Eric. SUPERPLEX! Both men land hard on the mat. BUNNY HOP OUT OF NOWHERE! Bunny hits Eric perfectly and goes for an early cover. Outback drops an elbow to break up the pin. He grabs Bunny by the ears and tosses him over the top rope. Bunny flips over the rope and lands on his feet. As Jack pulls O'Mac to his feet, Bunny hops onto the apron and mounts the top rope. Outback gets Eric into a front face lock, then lifts him up for a suplex. Bunny leaps off the top rope with a 450! He hits Eric in midair and causes Outback to hit the suplex. Bunny is covering Eric again, but Jack grabs him by the ears and tosses him into a corner. He runs at him and NAILS him with a boot to the face, sending him flipping over the top rope and out the floor. Outback turns around and gets met with a right hand by O'Mac. He follows up with more right hands in the corner, then starts with the stomps. He glances to his right and sees Bunny and Alexis are having it out with words. Eric steps through the ropes and drops down to the floor, shoving Bunny away from Alexis. Bunny shoves back. They tie up and turn around, Alexis now behind Bunny. Bunny shoves Eric off of him. Eric goes for a lariat, but Bunny ducks it. Eric ALMOST nails Alexis, but stops before impact. Bunny hits Eric with a LUNG BLOWER! Right in front of Alexis. Bunny rolls over and kips up to his feet. He fakes a punch at Alexis before sliding into the ring. He is hit with a series of kicks and stomps by Outback, while Alexis tends to her man on the outside. Jack pulls Bunny to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He spots the rebound and delivers a SPEAR WITH AUTHORITY! Eric is getting to his feet on the outside, as Outback pulls Bunny back to his feet. Outback grabs Bunny by the neck and takes a page out of Hernandez's playbook with a CRACKERJACK! Bunny is tossed over the top rope. But he lands on Eric's shoulders and hits a HURACANRANA! Eric is thrown into the apron, where he rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring. Outback grabs a hold of him and perches him on the top rope. He steps up with him and maneuvers around to get into position. THE CHOMP OFF THE TOP ROPE! Eric may be legit dead right now. Outback hooks the leg. Bunny flies off the top rope with a BUNNY HOLE! The pin is broken up and Bunny is up on his feet. He grabs Outback and goes for a DDT. Jack stays up and picks Bunny up above his head in a gorilla press. He drops him down on top of O'Mac and goes for the double pin. Alexis crawls into the ring and pushes Jack off of Bunny and Eric, saving the match for her man. Outback is not happy and stands up, showing his dominance over Alexis. He walks toward her slowly as she steps into a corner. Before anything can be done, Bunny leaps up and hits a REVERSE HURACANRANA ON OUTBACK JACK! Outback is SPIKED on his head! Alexis NAILS Bunny with a LOW BLOW! She drops down and rolls out of the ring, as Eric begins to stir. He gets to his knees and crawls to Jack. He puts his arm over him, but he kicked out before the three. Eric leaves Outback to gather himself and crawls over to Bunny. He puts an arm over his chest, but Bunny kicks out before the three. Alexis is visibly frustrated that Eric can't get the job done. Eric pulls Bunny to his feet and sets him up on the top rope. Outback is now on his feet and runs at Eric, who is facing the corner. Alexis warns Eric just in time, as Eric ducks a big boot. The boot connects with Bunny's face, sending him tumbling off the top rope and bouncing off the ring apron, then splatting on the floor. Eric kicks Outback's leg, knocking him to the mat. He jumps to the top rope and readies himself. FROG SPLASH! But Outback got the knees up! Eric rolls to the outside, grabbing his ribs in pain. Alexis checks on him, but bitches at the same time about him not being able to finish Outback Jack and Bunny. Bunny is back on the top rope, not seeing what had just happened with O'Mac and Jack. MOUNTAIN DEW ON TAP! But Outback rolls out of the way! Bunny lands hard and Outback goes for the pin. Alexis is in the ring with a STEEL CHAIR! She SLAMS it down on Jack's back! Eric slides into the ring and pulls Bunny to his feet. Alexis wraps the chair around Bunny's head! She shoves him down and he is sat down in the corner. Eric goes to the other end of the ropes and leaps onto the top. With the chair still wrapped around Bunny's head, Eric goes COAST TO COAST! The chair is mangled and twisted around Bunny's head as he slips through the ropes and falls to the outside. Outback is up on his feet and hits O'Mac with a CACTUS CLOTHESLINE! Both men tumble to the outside of the ring, landing beside Bunny. All three competitors are totally worn-out. Alexis exits the ring and attempts to get Eric back into this match. She is pulling on his arm and trying to get him to stand on his own two feet. Outback gets to his feet first and swats Alexis away from Eric. He grabs Eric's arm and pulls him to his feet. POWERBOMB ON THE OUTSIDE! Outback grabs Bunny and pulls the chair off his head and drops it. He kicks Bunny in the mid-section. PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR! Bunny's head dents the only flat part of the chair left. Outback grabs Eric and pulls him to his feet. He picks him up for a suplex, but Eric hits him with a few knees to the top of the head, then gets back to his feet. DDT ON OUTBACK JACK! Jack is down! Bunny comes flying from the top rope with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! But Eric side-steps the move and Bunny lands on Jack in senton position. Eric pulls Bunny off of Outback and whips him into the guardrail. He runs at him and hits a flying cross body, sending the two of them over the railing and into the front row. They get to their feet and exchange rights and lefts as they make their way through the audience. They get to the top of a staircase and start fighting around the perimeter of the crowd. They get to a door and O'Mac slams Bunny through it, into the backstage area. Eric pulls Bunny back to his feet and they fight through the hallways. Outback is recovering on the outside of the ring, as Alexis is standing beside him, looking concerned and annoyed. Outback looks above him and, oh my God. Bunny and Eric are fighting up on the BunnyWalk! Outback lifts up the ring skirt and pulls a HUGE ladder out from under the ring. He pushes it into the ring and sets it up. He climbs the ladder and is able to jump and grab onto the BunnyWalk, then pull himself onto it. Bunny, O'Mac, and Jack are all fighting it out on the BunnyWalk. Bunny hits Outback with a spinning heel kick, knocking him onto his back. Bunny gets up and is met with a STIFF SUPERKICK TO THE JAW! Bunny falls onto his back, lifeless. Eric looks down at Alexis, standing on the outside of the ring. She slides into the ring and grabs the ladder, laying it down flat in the middle of the ring. O'Mac pulls a dazed Bunny to his feet and sets him up for an ALABAMA SLAM! But Jack is up to his feet. Eric turns to face Outback. Outback DIVES OVER ERIC'S HEAD! SUNSET FLIP OFF THE BUNNYWALK! But Bunny manages to squirm off of Eric's back before Eric and Outback fall to the ring. Eric and Outback SLAM ONTO THE LADDER! The crowd is in awe as Bunny stands up on the BunnyWalk. HE JUMPS OFF IT! BUNNYSAULT X5! He lands on O'Mac and Jack! Alexis is highly concerned at this point. The referee, who was on the outside of the ring for his own safety, slides into the ring and calls for medical attention for all three competitors. He decides that none of the three men are capable of continuing the match and calls it off.
WINNER - NO CONTEST in 14:59

PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. B.A.D – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

The BAD make their entrance first, and finish off their beers as they head to the ring. “Born In the USA” plays as Phantos and Lucios head to the ring, high-fiving fans along the way. Phantos is walking his new puppy, Spirios. Phantos hands Spirios’ leash to the timekeeper and the Champions enter the ring. Seamus and Damon attack the champions as soon as they duck between the ropes. Lucios tumbles to the floor and the challengers double-team Phantos before referee Angelo Barros is able to get Damon out onto the apron. McNasty resumes beating Phantos as the bell sounds. Several clubbing forearms to the back. Short-arm Clothesline. Leg drop. Seamus covers and gets a 1-count. Seamus power slams Phantos and tags in Damon, who comes off with a fist drop and gets a 2-count. Phantos reverses an Irish whip and backdrops Damon. He makes the tag and Lucios charges in, pinning Damon in the neutral corner. Several chops and uppercuts have Wrath staggered. Lucios Gorilla presses Wrath, and tosses him onto the arena floor. Seamus charges in and is floored with a big boot. Lucios hoists McNasty up and Border tosses him out of the ring onto his partner! The crowd pops wildly for the Champions! Phantos rushes to the top turnbuckle and hits a hugs plancha onto the challengers just as they get to their feet. Lucios drops down and tosses Damon back in the ring to avoid a count out. Phantos drop-toe holds a charging Seamus on the outside. Lucios and Damon lock up in the ring in a test of strength. They go chest to chest, and as Lucios seems to be getting the upper hand, Damon head butts him below the belt and stomps a mud hole in Lucios. Damon hits quick DDT and gets a 2 count. He whips Lucios into the ropes and hits a bionic elbow. As Lucios teeters, Damon scoops him up and hits a fall away slam. Seamus is back on the apron and gets a tag in. McNasty drops several quick elbows on Lucios chest, and then drags him to the corner to set up for the Celtic Cross. Lucios blocks the attempt, and ends up hitting a Gordbuster on Seamus from the middle turnbuckle! Phantos gets tagged in and leaps off the top rope with a senton backsplash. Phantos pops up and hits a dropkick. Seamus staggers into his corner and tags in Wrath. Damon charges in and eats a dropkick. Damon gets to his feet quickly, and is met with a second dropkick. Phantos pops up and hits a third dropkick on Wrath before he even gets to his feet. Damon tumbles through the ropes and to the floor. Lucios drops down and tosses Damon back in the ring, then exchanging blows with Seamus. Phantos hits Damon with a series of arm drags and then a bulldog. Lucios is up and makes the tag. Phantos whips Damon into the ropes. DOUBLE DROPKICK! Lucios makes the cover as Phantos cuts off Seamus. Barros makes the 1…2…3!
WINNERS in 11:01; OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Team Aquafina!

After the match, Phantos grabs Spirios and joins Lucios in the ring. As Damon gets to his feet, Spirios goes over ad raises a leg, pissing on Damon’s boot! Wrath starts to get in Phantos face, Lucios steps in front of his partner and readies for a fight, but Seamus steps in and leads his partner away.

Phantos and Lucios grab their title belts from the timekeeper and hold them in the air for the fans to see. However, their little celebration is interrupted by the sound of someone firmly tapping their hand to a microphone... and L.D. Bennett appears back in the crowd.

Bennett: Excuse me, gentlemen. Put your photo ops on hold for two minutes and listen to me, because I have a very important announcement that concerns the two of you. I received a phone call earlier this week from one of my many clients, who asked me to tend to a little business matter for him. That business matter... is YOU. Let the record state that on Wednesday, March 27, 2008, my clients, Johnny Adrenaline and "Attitude Adjuster" Alan Capps have accepted the open challenge for a match with both you Phantos, and you Lucios. And that match will take place THIS Sunday on pay per view, with the OOWF Tag Team Champions...

[Before Bennett completes his sentence, The Heels appear out of the other side of the crowd and jump the champions from behind with the old version of the OOWF Tag Team title belts! Johnny and AA dump Lucios to the floor, and then plant Phantos with a spike pile driver on the belt! Bennett makes his way to the ring through the crowd.]

Bennett: As I was saying... with the REAL OOWF Tag Team Champions, The Heels, defending THEIR titles against you two clowns.

AA: [takes mic from Bennett] So the greatest tag team in OOWF history comes back to reclaim their throne and we're stuck jerking the curtain against Blitz and Volt and competing for the "opportunity" to challenge for "your titles." Nobody tells us when we get a title match... we defend our titles when we want to. And this Sunday...

[Suddenly, Davin Moreland storms the ring swinging a 2x4, and Bennett and the Heels scatter like cockroaches into the crowd. We close with Moreland helping his Run DLP mates to their feet, somehow masked men look incredibly pissed off as they see The Heels posing at the top of the ramp with their titles as we fade to black]

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF MADNESS Pay Per View! Live March 30th From Warminster, Pennsylvania! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! April 2nd from Isafjordhur, Iceland!

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts

Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Tar-Jack-Fire-Crete-Cap-Tommy-Tex-Bunny- Dead-Sop Production Company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.

[My5:]