OOWF Blood on the Great Wall PPV

[mooseheadjack]

Damon and Seamus are training in the ring for their upcoming match

Seamus: “D we are stuck in tag team hell”

Damon: “Well, it’s the price of admission. If you buy a ticket to the roller coaster don’t bitch about the hills…”

Seamus: “What?”

Damon: “Fuck I don’t know, trying to wax on poetic like”

Seamus: “Wax on? You the fucking karate kid?”

A backstage worker walks up to Seamus

BSW: “Excuse me sir, I have a message for you”

Seamus: “Yeah, what’s that?”

BSW: “Mr. McNasty…I have a note…”

Worker hands Seamus a note, it is a sealed envelope with a red wax seal on it with the letter P pressed into it.

Seamus grabs the note and as the worker walks away, he turns to Damon and rips open the envelope…Seamus reads the note and hands it to Damon…Damon reads the note and then looks at the wax seal

Damon: “Wax on”

Seamus: “Wax off”

*Camera fades to black*

[mooseheadjack]

(The E is on his way back to the arena and decides to stop at a small restaurant in a nearby village. The locals give him strange looks but he ignores them as he gets his food, but stops dead in his tracks when he sees ConcreteTG working away on his own meal. The E casually slides into a chair across from Crete at the same table)

CTG: (glances up) you could at least ask.

The E: But why? My goal is accomplished without having to waste time waiting for an answer. Not something you're used to, either.

CTG: I earn everything I've ever had, including the OOWF title... I don't have to have someone buy my wars for me.

The E: But you had one get away, didn't you? And Moose -

CTG: Moose may have had a hand, and you can certainly TRY to turn my eyes back to just him. I'm a hero but not just any blind Justice - Moose is a manipulator, not the mastermind. I'm well aware you and Cole got Bennett involved for perceived inequalities. Moose just happens to revel in stirring things up in such a manner that once done, he settles back and watches the sparks fly and things catch fire. (he pauses as they hear a racket in the kitchen) Somewhat like the cooking, here. Someone puts all the principals in one place, stirs vigorously, then places it over open flame. Moose savors that.

The E: And you think you can stop the chefs from cooking Rick's goose?

CTG: (finishing his meal) one ingredient at a time.

The E: Too many cooks spoil your dinner

(The E then slams down on his end of the table, see-sawing the other end up into Crete's jaw. Crete falls backward but rolls to a kneel, holding his jaw as E leaps off the narrow edge of the table and dropkicks Crete into the counter. He reaches to drag Crete out and slaps him with a stray fish that fell out of the display. Crete shakes his head clear and blisters Eric's chest with a CHOP that makes him drop the fish and he staggers backward. Crete closes and gets a faceful of hot rice, and he is sent back toward the counter. The restaurant evacuates as the two of them brawl about the place. Fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

The screen goes black. It fades in to a darkened barn where a robed figure stands menacingly

TK- OOWF...

For too long you have gone on in sin.

You have been free of punishment. You have been free to do whatever you wish. This will all change.

Bunny...you violent sociopath...you are undeserving of your belt. You are an acrobat who decided he wanted to be a wrestler and somehow lucked himself into a title. Your time is coming and I'm going to be the one who shows it to you. Your sins are numerous and your deeds committed against God have stacked up against you.

Alexander Darling...you are the embodiment of Greed...one of the seven deadly sins...and somehow you are a champion. The OOWF need not look any farther than its Intercontinental Champion to see why it is a sin-filled pot of evil and blasphemy.

And Stank...You are a drunken wretch. You are fat...gluttonous and despicable. You are not deserving to represent this company. You are the reason OOWF is laughed at amongst other wrestling promotions.

THERE IS NOT ONE OF YOU WHO DOES NOT DESERVE PUNISHMENT AND SMITING FROM THE LORD HIMSELF!!!

I AM THE KNIFE!!!

I AM THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD!!!


And that hand will come down upon you...

[mooseheadjack]

*OOWF Hallway*

Backstage in China in one of the many random hallways of chance encounters we see Alexis Darling walking around in a daze. It seems as if the issue with her brother is still taking a toll on her and with both Firewoman and Davin Moreland preparing for a big night it seems as if anyone Alexis could call friend has better things to do. She blindly turns a corner and winds up face to face with Moosehead Jack. Alexis doesn't realize at first who she's bumped into and continues to walk down the hallway when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

Moosehead Jack: Well, well, well little Alexis Darling. I have to say, you look like hell.

Alexis continues to just stand there not saying a word and looking like someone without a place in this current world.

Ya know Lexie, it is okay I call you Lexie right, I mean everyone else does now and we are so close to one another. Having the same friends and all. It really isn't much fun if you just stand there and take it. I thought you had more fight in you Lexie...

Alexis Darling: MY...NAME...IS...ALEXIS.

MHJ: Maybe you aren't dead inside yet. But you will be soon. I really am curious how you handle your upcoming journey back to Japan. You do remember Japan, don't ya Lexie?

Alexis seems to be trying to come out of her recent state, but once Moose mentions Japan, she reverts back to her unable to speak nature.
Alexis: ...

MHJ: Cat got you tongue or does Poe have it?

As soon as the word Poe is mentioned Moose is pushed back into the wall from behind and the camera pans to see Alexander Darling standing there.

MHJ: You just cost yourself Darling. I can't be touched and you know it.

Alexander Darling: I have no idea what you're talking about Moose. I was just walking down the hall and didn't see you there. Ya do "trust me" right?

MHJ: Keep talking punk. Your day is coming and its coming soon.

Alexander: Let me guess, May 14th right Moose? You and your stupid games. Do you really think I'm afraid of ghosts?

MHJ: I guess we'll see when the ghost appears, won't we? Anyway. I have more important things to attend to tonight. Lexie, I really hope you break out of your little funk. I really do...

Trust Me...

Moosehead Jack brushes past Darling as he walks down the hall and for the first time, maybe ever...Alexander Darling lets Moose get the last word in because he's too busy turning around and seeing his sister for the first time since their blowup at Davin Moreland's undisclosed office location. They stare at each other for a long moment and just when it seems like nothing will be said between them. Alexis puts her head down and starts to walk away her brother calls after her.

Alexander: Alexis, wait...please.

Alexis slowly turns around to face her approaching brother but she keeps her head down until her brother gets there and lifts it up.

We really have to stop fighting sis. It kills me when do.

Alexis: And how do you think I feel? You basically said you wanted nothing more to do with me because I have a hard time letting go of my past. How am I supposed to respond to that...and then to compare me to that...that thing Moose.

Alexander: That was wrong, I'll admit that, but so were all the secrets you were, maybe still are, keeping from me. And then for me to find out you kept something from him, well, it hurt.

Alexis: You have to believe me Alex. I didn't keep it because of the reasons you may think. I keep it as a reminder to never lose myself like I did. I don't keep it as a symbol of him, I keep it as a symbol of a person I never want to become again. That's all it is, I promise you.

Alexander: And can you promise there are no more secrets?

Alexis seems to be thinking back over the recent events in her life and seems to make a decision.
Alexis: No more secrets.

Alexander: Good. So, are we???

Alexis: We will be. We're the Darlings, right? When aren't we?

Alexander: That's what I like to hear. Because we're good on our own, but together...we can be unstoppable.

Alexis: Yes we can...yes we can. Now let's go make sure DEA walks out tonight with two title belts around their waists.

Alexander puts his arm around Alexis and the two make their way towards The DEA Luxury Suite, but as they walk they both stop and look around for something and they both say;

Do you hear that?

thump thump...thump thump...thump thunp...Thump Thump...Thump Thump...THUMP Thump...THUMP Thump...THUMP THUMP...THUMP THUMP


*Fade out*

[mooseheadjack]

*Blitz and Voltage are relaxing in a regular locker room, instead of their usual closet.*

B: Dude, communism is awesome.

V: You can say that again.

B: To think that the Chinese government forces the OOWF to treat us as equals with the rest of the roster. Hey, I wonder if that means we’ll get a win tonight.

V: We won’t.

B: Excellent point. But still, a regular locker-room. Pity it will only be for 1 Night in China. That should have been the title of this PPV, by the way.

V: What’s wrong with Blood on the Great Wall?

B: It’s not that there’s anything wrong with it. But 1 Night in China is just much better.

V: Why? I don’t understand what’s so great about it.

B: You’ve never heard of 1 Night in China?

V: No.

B: You’re lucky. Very lucky.

[mooseheadjack]

The camera fades into a converted warehouse. We see several large wrestling banners adorning the walls, various weightlifting and cardiovascular condition equipment placed throughout the room and a large wrestling ring in the center. A large white and red banner reads “Storm Wrestling Academy”.

Against one wall, we see Tyson Kincaid doing Hindu Squats as his trainer and mentor, wrestling legend Lance Storm, looks on.

LS: 197…198…199…200. Good, that’s enough. Take a breather.

Kincaid walks across the room to a water cooler as Storm follows. He removes a paper cup from the side of the cooler, fills it and, breathing heavily, takes a drink.

LS: So do you think you’re reading for Sunday?

TK: [still breathing heavily] Of course.

LS: Well, I don’t.

Kincaid looks back at Storm with an expression of offense and irritation. Storm’s eyes do not waver as he holds Kincaid’s gaze.

LS: Don’t get me wrong. You’ve come a long way since you first showed up in my class and now you’ve finally made it to the big show. But I didn’t just call you here today for some extra training. You’re becoming complacent and you can’t afford that. You’re facing 5 other wrestlers and you need to be prepared for anything. You never know when you’ll be faced with something completely unexpected.

With those words, Storm slaps Kincaid stiffly across the face, the sound reverberating throughout the quiet, empty building. Kincaid looks at his friend with shock as he holds his jaw which as already begun to turn a light shade of crimson.

LS: Get in the ring! We’ll see how far you’ve really come.

Storm climbs into the ring. Kincaid is hesitant and still in shock at Storm’s actions, but he reluctantly follows.

LS: You know how this works. No referee. The match ends by submission or knockout.

Storm charges a bewildered Kincaid. “The Riot Act” ducks a clothesline and both men trade stiff punches. Storm sends his opponent into the turnbuckle with a hard Irish Whip. Kincaid’s mouth is already bloody. Storm charges and catches a boot to the face. Kincaid grabs a leg and goes for a Sharpshooter, but Storm fights out, kicking Kincaid off and all the way through the ropes out the floor.

Storm runs and hits a PERFECT Plancha to the outside, catching his opponent square in the chest. However, Kincaid is not KO’d and gets back to his feet. Storm throws him back into the ring and continues the beating with the hard kicks to the ribs of Kincaid.

Kincaid reverses another Irish Whip, this time into the ropes and catches Storm with a perfectly-placed dropkick. He immediately follows up by hitting Storm with his trademark Moonlight Driver. However, Storm manages to get to his feet. Kincaid goes to the apron where he leaps and hits a Springboard Spinning Wheel Kick. Storm stumbles to his feet as Kincaid grabs his arm and climbs to the top rope. He attempts Thin Air, but Storm counters him perfectly by catching him in a Reverse Atomic Drop on the way down.

Storm is going for the kill: Half Boston Crab! Kincaid is squirming in pain. “The Riot Act” uses all his strength to push up off his chest, grab Storm’s ankle and reverse it into a Half Boston Crab of his own! Now Storm is screaming in pain. Kincaid leans back as far as he can until the backs of both men are almost touching. Storm can’t stand the extra pressure and and he taps!

Kincaid immediately releases the hold. Both men lie breathless on the mat.

LS: [panting] NOW, you’re ready…

The camera fades

[mooseheadjack]

<Stank sits in the Destroyitarium staring at his World Title. The Midnight Sons walk by and tell the champ they're heading out. The big man doesn't respond, continuing to stare blankly at his title belt. Spin and Mags look at each other, shrug, then exit the bar. Outback Jack walks out the restroom.>

OBJ - ...

Stank - ...

OBJ - Good luck, mate.

<Jack's words don't seem to register as Stank seems lost in thought as he stares at his title belt. Outback Jack walks out the Destroyitarium leaving the champ alone with his thoughts. Stank stares blankly a few moments longer before he looks up directly into the camera.>

Stank - Williams... tonight... we end this.

<Camera fades.>

[mooseheadjack]

Seamus sits alone in the darkened locker room, he reaches into his pocket and takes the crumpled note and smoothes it out again…the ninja cam zooms in to see the note


Art is long and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
Longfellow.
GET READY!
P

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF Blood on the Great Wall PPV
Live! From Beijing, China

Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen WELCOME to the OOWF Blood on the Great Wall pay per view, LIVE from Beijing, China! As always joining me are Razz and Nash
Razz: Wow, what an honor to be coming to you live from China! Whoda ever thunk it Russ! CHINA!
Nash: It must be something for you Razz, how often is it you are in a country where you are taller than nine billion other people?
Razz: Hey, Nash, I heard they got you doing a run in for the main event; you might want to get started toward the ring now.
Russ: If we can get back on track, folks we have a great show for you tonight, three title matches, and the OOWF World Heavyweight title will be defended inside a steel cage!
Razz: That one will be rocketbusters no question about it. Stank and LD Williams have been at each other for months, and this should be the last match between them for a bit.
Nash: That one will be a great match, but the match I am looking forward to is Chris Cole and Davin Moreland. They have this best of seven series going on, and right now it is all Davin, I would say if someone can get in another person’s head, Davin has certainly done that to Cole.
Russ: It will be a great night of action. We start with the first ever OOWF Chicken Suit Match! The loser will be forced to wear a chicken suit in the middle of the ring!
Nash: Why a chicken suit?
Russ: Well, my sources tell me that the match was originally supposed to be the loser getting fired, but at the last minute someone promoed and saved their job.
<kayfabe walks into the picture and stares at Russ>
Russ: What? That’s what happened.
Razz: So we have a nice mix of guys in this match, you have Carl From Fresno, the man who won a contract with the OOWF last month at the MADNESS pay per view, Ryan Hardcore and Mark Vander
Russ: So who is your pick to “win” or I guess, more appropriately, lose this match?
Razz: I am going with Nerve he is the smallest guy in the match, I am not so sure he will be able to keep up with the rest of them
Nash: Are you kidding me? Look, I question the vanilla midgets as much as anyone else, but Carl From Fresno……is he even a wrestler? I mean the guy was homeless as of a month ago. Norman the Lunatic laughs at his wrestling skills! This one is a no brainer; Carl wears the chicken suit, then probably tries to eat himself.
Russ: Well Carl HAS been training with Run DLP, so I can only assume his skills have improved, and with all his endorsement deals he is not as hungry as he once was. My pick is Ryan Hardcore. The man is as physically gifted as anyone on the roster, but seems to be perpetually………distracted
Nash: Can you blame him?
Russ: Nash, I am a happily married man
Razz: Let’s head to the ring!

THE NERVE AGENT vs. MARK VANDER vs. RYAN HARDCORE vs. CARL FROM FRESNO – Elimination Match, Last Eliminated Wears a Chicken Suit

The wrestlers all go through their various entrances and everyone assembles in the ring. This match is very simple, you score a pin or a submission and you are eliminated from the match and you are safe. The last person pinned, however, is no longer employed by the OOWF. Nerve and Hardcore immediately attack Carl and Vander. Nerve rakes Vander’s eyes and throws him over the top rope to the floor and follows him out of the ring. Inside the ring Hardcore sends Carl to the ropes and catches him with a kick to the mid section and plants him with a DDT. Ryan rolls Carl over and mounts him and hammers him with shots to the head. On the outside Nerve bounces Vander’s head off the guard rail, then scoops him up and plants him on the floor with a slam. Nerve climbs to the apron and tries a senton, but Vander moves out of the way and Nerve slams back first onto the floor. Vander gets to his feet and waits for Nerve to get up, and nearly kicks his head off with a big boot. Inside the ring, Hardcore pulls Carl to his feet and tries a whip to the ropes but Carl reverses it, Hardcore tries a cross body block but Carl catches him and hefts him up to his shoulders and falls back with a Samoan drop. Hardcore rolls out of the ring to the floor and Vander slides under the ropes and he and Carl face off the two men trade hay makers in the middle of the ring, Vander gets the advantage with a knee to the mid section and sends Carl to the ropes, from the outside Hardcore low bridges him sending him over the top rope to the floor. Hardcore jumps onto the apron and challenges Vander, as Vander stares at him, the Nerve Agent slips into the ring behind him and grabs Vander around the waist and hits a bridging German suplex for a two count. Nerve spins to his feet and grabs Vander and sends him to the corner, Hardcore charges in and catches him with a high knee to the side of the head, then tries to take him out of the corner with a bulldog but Vander shoves him off right into a clothesline from Carl. Nerves attacks Vander from behind and hits a lung blower and covers, but only gets a two count. Carl pulls Hardcore to his feet, but Hardcore hits him with a scientific thumb to the eye blinding him momentarily, then Hardcore turns and waits for Nerve to get to his feet, and pops him in the mouth with a super kick! Nerve falls between the ropes to the floor. Hardcore grabs Vander and shoots him between the ropes to the floor, then climbs to the top rope and waits for Carl to stop staggering around. Carl straightens up and Hardcore leaps for a cross body block, but Carl catches him and hits a DIAMOND CUTTER NOT QUITE AS GOOD AS DAVIN MORELAND’S BUT STILL PRETTY DARN GOOD IN ITS OWN RIGHT! Carl covers Hardcore and gets the one, two three! Carl From Fresno is eliminated and thus does not have to wear the suit! Hardcore gets to his feet and argues with the referee for a moment, but to no avail. He turns around and gets a missile dropkick from Nerve that sends him out of the ring. As Nerve gets to his feet Mark Vander charges at him, but Nerve takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold. Vander looks up and Hardcore catches him with a stiff kick right to the face. It appears that Hardcore and Nerve are working together here, that can’t be good for Vander. They pull him up and whip him into the corner and Hardcore sets him on the top rope and sets him up for a superplex, but at the last second Nerve runs under Hardcore and we get the always fun superplex/powerbomb combo! Nerve covers Hardcore but he kicks out at two. The Nerve Agent and Ryan Hardcore both get to their feet and they start arguing over which insurance company is more likely to save them the most money. Nerve has had enough and he catches Hardcore with a spinning fist to the side of the head that sends Hardcore out of the ring. The Nerve Agent turns around and clearly has not been paying attention because Vander charges across the ring and nearly separates his head from his body with a clothesline from hell! Vander covers and hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three! Vander is eliminated and thus does not have to wear the chicken suit! We are down to just two men, The Nerve Agent and Ryan Hardcore! One of these men will be wrestling their last match in an OOWF ring. Nerve and Hardcore go nose to nose in the center of the ring and start a criss cross, Hardcore drops to the mat and Nerve puts on the breaks and drops a knee across the small of his back. Hardcore writhes in pain and Nerve gets back to his feet and hits a senton right to the small of Hardcore’s back. Nerve rolls him over and covers, but Hardcore kicks out at two. Both men get to their feet and Nerve whips Hardcore into the corner and charges in after him, but Hardcore side steps and Nerve slams chest first into the corner, Hardcore hits a spinning front kick that nails Nerve right in the jaw, Hardcore springs off the bottom rope with a moonsault and covers, but can only get a two count. Hardcore shows a little frustration and argues with the referee instead of paying attention to Nerve. Hardcore finally turns back to The Nerve Agent and pulls him off the mat and tries a whip to the ropes, but Nerve reverses it and catches Hardcore with a kick to the mid-section, hooks him in a fisherman’s suplex, and hits a FISHERMAN BUSTER!!! Hardcore is dead! Nerve keeps he leg hooked, bridges and gets the one, two, THREE! The Nerve Agent is safe, Ryan Hardcore has to wear a chicken suit!
WINNERS in 14:51 – Mark Vander, Carl From Fresno & The Nerve Agent

Hardcore slowly gets to his feet and when he realizes what is about to happen he throws a fit, but the other wrestlers hold him down and force him into the suit. When they get done he looks like the chicken from Family Guy. The crowd has a good time mocking him, and he throws a fit and threatens bodily harm on most of the front row. Lauren Phoenix makes her way into the ring and she eyes Hardcore up and down, then puts on her sexiest smile and sashays over to Hardcore and whispers something into his ear, then leaves the ring, pausing only to beckon Hardcore. Ryan’s demeanor immediately changes from temper tantrum to Cheshire cat grin as he leaves the ring and the two have their hands all over each other as they head to the back. We can only imagine what is going to go on back there.

Russ: Well, Ryan Hardcore did indeed end up wearing the chicken suit, but I am not sure it is going to turn out as humiliating as we had all thought, what could Lauren Phoenix have POSSIBLY said to him?
Razz: Well, there is a certain subset of people that belong to the Furry culture
Russ: What?
Razz: Well some of them like to dress like animals and have sexual encounters as their animal personas
Nash: And you know about this HOW?
Razz: Taz wasn’t just my wrestling name Nash
<silence fills the booth>
Russ: Ok, moving on to something else
Nash: Please do. Freak
Russ: Moving on, we have the Midnight Sons facing Blitz and Voltage in their “off week” from the OOWF World Tag Team Round Robin Tournament. The Sons are done with the tourney having finished 2-2. They could still win it, but they would need some help, and then there would have to be some sort of tie breaker that I can’t even quite figure out. Is there any reason The Sons shouldn’t win this match?
Razz: No
Nash: No
Russ: Ok, well in the interest of remaining unbiased, is there any way Blitz and Voltage can win this match?
Razz: Well sure they CAN win this match. Voltage is a former tag team champion, and Blitz is an accomplished wrestler in his own right, but the Sons are on top of their game right now. They can give them a run, but I just can’t see them beating the Sons
Nash: I remember another team that was not given a chance to win. A little team called The Outsiders. No one gave us a chance against Harlem Heat, but we overcame the odds and won the match. It was one of the greatest upsets in wrestling history!
Razz: No it wasn’t. And no one thought you couldn’t win. In fact, the exact opposite was true, no one thought Harlem Heat would keep the titles. You were there weren’t you?
Russ: Before this gets out of hand, let’s go to the ring.

THE MIDNIGHT SONS vs. BLITZ & VOLTAGE

Blitz and Voltage come to the ring and fire up the crowd by mocking the Sons, probably not the smartest idea they could come up with. Immigrant Song fires up and Magnusson and Hansen storm the ring and attack. Blitz and Voltage try to defend themselves but they are simply overwhelmed. Magnusson whips Voltage to the ropes and catches him with a thunderous power slam. Spin reverses a Blitz whip attempt and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a spine cracking spine buster. Blitz and Voltage powder out under the bottom rope and Magnusson and Spin climb to the corner turnbuckles and pose for the crowd as they roar their approval. Blitz and Voltage slide back into the ring and try to attack pulling Spin and DH off the corners and trapping them in the corner with shots to the chest. Blitz and Voltage try a double whip but it is reversed. Blitz and Voltage pull up short before they can collide and point to their heads. They turn back to the corners and Spin and DH both charge out of their corners and catch them with clotheslines that sandwiches the two of them together. Blitz and Voltage slump to the mat in a heap, Spin grabs Blitz and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then waits on the apron. Looks like they have decided that it will be Magnusson and Voltage starting things off properly. Magnusson pulls Voltage off the mat and hauls hum to his shoulders and hits a forward roll into his corner and tags in Spin. Hansen comes in and measures Voltage, waiting for him to get to his feet, as he does, Hansen hammers him with shots to the body, using Voltage for a punching bag before finishing him off with a spinning elbow to the temple. Voltage goes down like a sack of potatoes, and Spin covers and gets two before Blitz breaks it up at two. Magnusson charges into the ring and drills Blitz with a spear that nearly cuts him in half. Blitz rolls under the ropes to the floor, no doubt to make sure his innards are not soup. Spin pulls Voltage to his feet and lifts him like he is going to give him an atomic drop, then tags in Magnusson who climbs to the second rope and drops a forearm down across Voltage’s chest flipping him off of Spin’s shoulder to the mat. Magnusson immediately pounces on Voltage, who tries to cover up and give Magnusson nothing to work with Magnusson hammers Voltage in the back of the head with forearms until Voltage relents and tries to cover up the back of his head, as soon as he does, Magnusson grabs him in the cross face and pulls back on Voltage’s head. Volt works his way to the ropes forcing the break, but not before Magnusson tried to break his neck. Magnusson breaks the hold and pulls Voltage to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big boot to the face. Magnusson drags Voltage over to the Sons corner and tags in Hansen, Spin comes in and drops a series of knees across Voltage’s chest, then sits Volt up and connects with several stiff kicks to his back. Voltage desperately needs a tag here otherwise he is done. Spin pulls him to his feet and hauls him up for a suplex and leaves him there for a bit to think about it before slamming backward to the mat. Spin starts to cover, then sees that Blitz is already on his way into the ring, so he gets to his feet and blocks a wild swing from Blitz, and catches him with a half nelson slam that plants him on the mat. Magnusson and Spin grab Voltage and lift him for a suplex, leave him hanging there, then plant him face first on the mat. Spin covers but Voltage manages to kick out at two. Spin pulls Voltage to his feet and shoves him to the ropes and lowers his head a moment too soon, Voltage hits a desperation kick to the jaw that stands Spin up, then clotheslines him to the mat before turning and diving toward his corner and tagging in Blitz. Blitz waits on the apron for Spin to get up, still doubled over in pain, Blitz leaps over the top rope and plants Spin on the mat with a DDT, then kips up to his feet and charges across the ring and tries to nail Magnusson, but DH blocks the punch, grabs Blitz and slams him face first into the top turnbuckle. Blitz staggers across the ring Spin kicks him in the gut and DESTROYS him with a package pile driver! Spin gets to his feet and drags Blitz’s carcass across the ring and tags in DH Magnusson. Magnusson pulls Blitz to his feet and stands him up against the ropes and charges and gives Blitz a boot to the face that sends him o the floor. Magnusson steps out of the ring to the apron and gets a running start and drops an elbow down across Blitz’s chest, driving all the wind out of him. The fans cheer wildly and call for an end to this one. Magnusson peels Blitz off of the floor and rolls him under the ropes back into the ring. He follows and pulls Blitz to his feet, hits an inverted atomic drop, then a wicked clothesline that sends him right back to the mat. Magnusson tags in Spin, then hauls Blitz up for a power bomb, at the same time Spin climbs to the top rope and leaps, they hit the 100 PROOF Power bomb/Elbow combo that PLANTS Blitz on the mat driving the air, and possibly the life, from his body. Spin covers and completely unnecessarily hooks the leg while Magnusson runs across the ring and keeps Voltage at bay, the referee falls to the mat and we get the one, two , three.
WINNERS in 8:02 – The Midnight Sons

Russ: Well not surprise there, Blitz and Voltage put up a good enough fight, but in the end, the Sons proved they were the better team there.
Razz: When this team is focused, they are among the elite teams in the OOWF, and no matter what happens in the round robin tournament, I would put money on the Sons coming out of this with another run with the belts.
Nash: They remind me of another great team from the past, a team that doesn’t get the recognition they deserve among wrestling historians. I am of course talking about, The Conquistadors
Razz: What?
Russ: Nash, are you serious?
Nash: Hey, they made it to the finals of the Survivor Series tag team match, they were a dangerous team that never got their due.
Razz: THEY WERE JOBBERS!!!
<Kayfabe appears again>
Razz: What? They WERE!
Nash: I stand by my statement
Russ: I think Nash has finally slipped free of his senses, maybe our next match will help snap him back to reality.
Razz: I am really looking forward to this match. One of the hardest things to do is win multiple matches in one night, but that is the chance that six OOWF wrestlers will get tonight. The winner will face Bunny for the OOWF Onslaught championship later tonight!
Russ: This is an excellent chance for two OOWF newcomers, Tyson Kincaid and The Amnesiac to make their mark on the OOWF, Nash what kind of a chance do you think they have?
Nash: Well, clearly they are in the ring with four people that have more OOWF experience than they do, but in this type of match, where there will be bodies flying everywhere and it is essentially chaos, anything can happen. All it takes it three seconds and you can walk out of the ring with a shot at gold
Russ: Do you think Firewoman’s recent actions will prove to be too much of a distraction for her?
Razz: That woman right there is one spitfire I would not want to cross
Nash: Unless she was wearing a beaver suit
Razz: ANYway, I think her recent actions will only motivate her. I am looking for her to go into this match with a clear head and take the whole thing.
Russ: Well, there is only one way to find out, let’s head to the ring

FIREWOMAN vs. BEAST vs. THE DEAD vs. AMNESIAC vs. OUTBACK JACK vs. TYSON KINCAID – Winner Gets an OOWF Onslaught Championship Title Match Tonight

The winner of this match gets an Onslaught title shot against Bunny later tonight. This is another chance for Firewoman, Beast, Dead and Jack to make their mark in the OOWF, they have had some chances before, but even more impressively, this is a real opportunity for two OOWF newcomers to prove their worth. Amnesiac and “The Riot Act” Tyson Kincaid have been added to this match and they will get a shot at making one hell of a splash in their pay per view debuts. All six participants make it to the ring and after all the intros are finally done the bell rings and ITS ON! Firewoman immediately charges across the ring and catches Beast with a kick upside the head that staggers him against the ropes. The new guys look at each other and shrug and go after Dead and Jack and hammer them with punches and chops to the chest. They try a double whip to the ropes, but Jack and Dead reverse it, Dead sets up for a Close the Casket but Amnesiac holds on to the ropes. Dead charges at him and Amnesiac back drops him over the top rope, then springs over the top and takes Dead out as soon as he gets to his feet. Kincaid rebounds off the ropes and Jack catches him with a power slam, then doesn’t even go for a cover, instead the two men roll around the ring hammering each other into oblivion. Meanwhile Beast has Fire trapped in the corner and grabs her by the head and head buts her in the face, bloodying her nose. Fire falls to her knees in the corner and grabs her face. Beast looks out at the crowd and laughs a bit, not a smart move. Fire nails Beast with a low blow, then gets to her feet and spits a mouth full of blood into his face temporarily blinding him. Fire climbs to the second rope and grabs Beast and hits a tornado DDT out of the corner. On the outside of the ring, Dead and Amnesiac are both on their feet, Amnesiac charges, but Dead sides steps and shoves him into the guardrail. Amnesiac slumps to the floor and Dead charges in and gives him a face wash with the laces on his boots. Meanwhile Kincaid has Jack on his feet and lifts him and drops him with an inverted atomic drop, then tries a diamond cutter but Jack shoves him to the ropes and tries catching him with a knee to the mid section, but Kincaid leaps over Jack’s knee and rolls him up from behind with a two count that is broken up by Fire. Firewoman pulls Kincaid to his feet and hauls him up in a vertical suplex, then slingshots him off the top rope and slams him to the mat, she floats over and gets a two count. Meanwhile Jack pulls Beast to his feet, but Beast explodes and nails Jack with a spinning fist that sends him out of the ring. Beast stands in the center of the ring and bellows like a wounded animal. Fire gets to her feet and the two of them go nose to nose. Meanwhile on the outside, Dead and Amnesiac both climb to the top rope and hit Beast with missile drop kicks that send him staggering toward Fire, she catches him with a boot to the gut then hits a pile driver! Fire covers, but it is broken up by everyone. Kincaid grabs Fire and whips her into the corner and follows her in and catches her with a high knee to the side of the face. Amnesiac runs to the ropes, but Jack low bridges him from the outside sending him over the top rope to the floor. The Dead drags Beast to the ropes and hangs him in the bottom rope throat first and stands on the back of his head. Kincaid sets Fire on the top rope and climbs up for a superplex, but Fire fights out of it with shots to the gut, then bites him in the face sending him back into the ring. Fire steadies herself on the top rope and leaps, connecting with a hurracarana that sends Kincaid out of the ring to the floor. Dead pulls Beast off the ropes and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Beast reverses it and catches him with a big boot to the face. Dead staggers back against the ropes and Beast charges at a stunned Beast, but Fire grabs Dead and pulls him out of the way and Beast sails over the top rope and takes out Jack, Amnesiac and Kincaid on the floor. Fire and Dead turn to each other, the only two left in the ring, they lock up and Dead sends Fire to the ropes, she springs off the bottom rope and tries a back elbow, but Dead catches her and turns it into a German suplex with a bridge for a two count. Dead gets to his feet and waits for Fire to get to hers, he sets her up for the Close the Casket, but she moves out of the way just as he throws the kick and slips behind him and rolls Dead up for a two count. Both spin to their feet and Fire hits the ropes and tries a cross body block, but Dead catches her and spins her to the mat with a side winder choke slam, and gets another two count. On the outside, bodies are finally starting to get untangled on the floor. Beast and Outback Jack climb onto the apron and they brawl, Dead grabs Fire and tries a whip, but she reverses it, Dead puts on the breaks and connects with a Close the Casket to Beast sending him back to the floor, but Jack catches Dead with a clothesline to the back of the head that staggers him. Amnesiac and Tyson Kincaid pull Jack off the apron and attack him again. Dead staggers toward the middle of the ring and Fire grabs Dead and hits the Firebomb (pump handle slam) hooks the leg and gets the one, two THREE just as Dead kicks out.
WINNER in 13:12 – Firewoman

After the match, Fire raises her arms in victory while Dead sits on the mat dejected over his loss. He gets to his feet and grabs Fire and spins her around. They share a moment of tense stare down of mutual animosity before Dead puts out his fist. Fire hesitates for a moment then bumps knuckles with Dead. Dead leaves the ring and joins the fight on the outside while Fire soaks in her victory in the middle of the ring.

Russ: Nice show of respect there from The Dead, but I cannot imagine that would extend to a one on one match between the two of them. From what I have been able to piece together, they are friendly rivals
Razz: Great win by Firewoman, she had to deal with a lot of distractions this week and she managed to put all that behind her and focus on the match, a lesser person would not have been able to do that.
Nash: but……she’s a WOMAN……..and the OOWF doesn’t have a women’s title!
Razz: What’s it like back there Nash?
Nash: Back where?
Razz: The 1950’s. Tell Ward and June Cleaver I said hello.
Nash: Wait, she gets a shot at the Onslaught title?
Russ: Yes Nash, have you not been paying attention?
Nash: And that’s the title that is all pure and stuff? No cheating?
Razz: Well it used to be yeah, but they changed that a bit, though Bunny never said what his stips were
Nash: Well that makes…..wait, did you say Bunny?
Russ: Yeah Bunny won the Onslaught Championship from Eric O’Mac
Nash: a BUNNY holds a title?
Razz: Not A Bunny, THE Bunny
Russ: Do you even WATCH the OOWF when we are not announcing?
Nash: This all makes no sense to me, your language is foreign, I will have to ask Joe about all this pure stuff, he gets off on that. A Bunny?
Razz: Is that any worse than a guy who thinks he is a super-hero?
Nash: John Cena is in the WWE
Razz: Touché
Russ: If you two are done, can we move on to the next match?
Razz: Of course
Nash: The next match, easy, F. Fonzworth MacCappington takes on former LOADED member and total Judas Ecosystem
Russ: Well, I am not sure I would call him Judas…..
Nash: Did he not turn his back on Bennett and LOADED to join Rick’s side? Hell not just JOIN Rick’s side but help RUN Rick’s side! That’s a Judas where I come from!
Razz: Yeah Russ, I have to agree with Nash on this one, they say there is no honor among thieves, but man, what Eco did cut MacCappington to the bone
Russ: And after what MacCappington and Donovan Viper did to Firechild last week, am I REALLY supposed to have any sympathy for them?
Razz: Eh, yeah that was a little extreme perhaps
Nash: EXTREME? Was it extreme when I tossed Rey Mysterio into the side of a trailer like a lawn dart?
Razz: Well, yeah sort of
Nash: Was it EXTREME when we ran the Steiner’s off the road and left them for dead?
Razz: Well, yeah it was….
Russ: Forget it, he’s rolling, just let him finish
Nash: WRESTING is EXTREME!!!! You have to be EXTREME to make your point around here! When I wrestled in Tibet, I swerved the Dali Llama and kicked his head into the tenth row!!
Razz: That never….
Russ: Shhh
Nash: It’s all about making a POINT! MacCappington and Viper DREW the BATTLE LINES!!! THEY ARE TAKING OVER!! TOO SWEET FOR LIFE!!!!
Russ: You done?
Nash: I think I hurt myself
Razz: Quad?
Nash: Yeah
Russ: Let’s go to the ring

F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III vs. ECOSYSTEM

MacCappington is out first, and he is accompanied as always by Lance, but this time, Moosehead Jack also comes to the ring with him. Well that is certainly an interesting turn of events. They come to the ring and MacCappington looks ready for action. Ecosystem’s music hits and he comes to the top of the ramp, then pauses for a moment. After a few seconds he is flanked on either side by Davin Moreland and Concrete TG? What the hell? Crete and Davin remain at the top of the ramp, they are not exactly chatting it up, but the fact that they are out there together at all speaks volumes. They remain at the top because they clearly don’t have a managerial license, but before Eco leaves for the ring, Wally B. King comes out and heads to the ring with Eco, he DOES have a valid manager’s license! Eco and Wally make his way to the ring and Eco steps between the ropes, and it looks like we are ready to start. The two men meet in the center of the ring and MacCappington just smirks at Eco, Eco glances at Wally, which gives FFM the opening he wants. FFM nails Eco on the side of the head with a forearm, then grabs him and tries to whip him across the ring, but Eco reverses the whip and pulls FFM back to him and hits him with a clothesline that rocks the big man back on his heels. Eco keeps hold of FFM’s arm and lands some stiff chops to his chest, then finishes it up with a leaping enzuguri that sends FFM down to one knee. Eco hits the ropes and connects with a knee to the back of FFM’s head that sends him to the mat face first. Moosehead Jack immediately jumps up on the apron, and at the top of the ramp Crete and Davin both get to their feet ready to run to Eco’s aid should things get out of hand. Eco charges at Moose and Moose jumps off the apron. MacCappington is back to his feet and he tries to attack from behind, but Eco sidesteps and shoves FFM to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a knee to the mid section that doubles him over in pain, then bounds off the ropes and sends FFM through the ropes with a knee lift. FFM storms around on the outside and has a meeting of the minds with Lance and Moose. Inside the ring, Eco gets a running start, scales the corner, pauses for a second to get his balance and leaps intending to take out all three men, but at the last second Moose looks up and all three move out of the way and Eco crashes into the first row. MacCappington reaches over the guard rail and grabs Eco by the head and slams him face first into the guard rail several times, then hip tosses him back over the railing. Eco struggles to get his bearings and spits out a mouth full of blood, right onto FFM’s boots. This only serves to enrage FFM, and he catches him with several stiff kicks to the mouth before pulling him to his feet and throwing him under the bottom rope. MacCappington steps between the ropes and steps right on Eco’s throat and keeps his boot there while he argues with the referee cutting off Eco’s air supply. The referee finally notices and starts the five count, FFM breaks it just before he would be disqualified. MacCappington pulls Eco to his feet and sends him into the corner and follows him in with a thunderous clothesline, then hefts him up on his shoulders and drives him to the mat with a Silicon Valley Driver! Eco is out! FFM covers one, two, thre….NO! Wally reaches into the ring and puts Eco’s foot on the bottom rope! Moose jumps onto the apron and yells at the referee, meanwhile Wally slips something to Eco. Lance runs around the ring and confronts Wally, but he gets a pimp cane upside the head and that ends THAT real fast. Inside the ring, FFM pulls Eco to his feet and we see that Wally has slipped Eco brass knuckles! Eco swings and NAILS FFM right in the temple, he falls to the mat, apparently out cold. Lance recovers enough to get the referee’s attention, while he is distracted Moose runs around the ring and CLOCKS Wally with a chair to the back of the head. Eco gets to his feet in the middle of the ring and staggers against the ropes, Moose jumps on the apron and locks him in the ji-endo from outside the ring! Eco struggles but starts to fade. At the top of the ramp Crete and Davin get to their feet, but before they can go far they are ambushed from behind by The Heels, Eric O’Mac and Chris Cole! They get drilled with chair shots and end up laid out at the top of the ramp before anyone can come out for the save. Meanwhile in the ring, Wally pulls Lance off the apron and the two fight at ring side. Eco is nearly out on his feet from the standing ji-endo, Moose releases the hold and shoves Eco toward MacCappington, who has recovered nicely by now, he grabs Eco and hits the GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! But MacCappington is not done yet, he pulls Eco to his feet and lifts him in the air for a vertical suplex, then drives him to the mat with a Steiner screwdriver, twisting his neck awkwardly. Moose distracts the referee and Donovan Viper runs through the crowd with his chain. MacCappington pulls Eco to his feet and Viper BLASTS him with his chain! The two take turns hammering Eco in the face with the chain until he is a bloody mess. Meanwhile at the top of the ramp officials are trying to keep the two factions separate and preventing them from killing each other, so no one from Rick’s side sees Eco being mauled. Finally Viper takes his chain and hops out of the ring escaping through the crowd. The referee turns around and sees MacCappington covering a barely conscious Ecosystem and makes the merciful one, two, three.
WINNER in 11:52 – F. Fonzworth MacCappington

Russ: DAMMIT THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!
Nash: I told you Russ….
Russ: YOU TOLD ME NOTHING!! Is it not enough that these two animals nearly killed Firechild last week? Now they have to do the same to Ecosystem?
Razz: Well, thankfully it wasn’t as bad
Russ: That’s not the point, the point is, this is supposed to be an athletic competition between two great athletes and now you have someone running in with a damn chain! A CHAIN!!! This is not what wrestling is all about! This is not what the OOWF is all about!
Razz: Have you been watching Russ?
Nash: Yeah who is the one living in the 1950’s? Russ, face facts, Carl Gotch and Lou Thesz are not walking through the door. I have seen a lot in my years in wrestling, I have dined with kings and queens; and I have slept in allies and dined on pork and beans. And the OOWF is the most violent place around.
Russ: Well it’s just not right! F. Fonzworth MacCappington, you used to be someone we could be proud of. You used to fight the good fight against Adrenaline and AA, you were one of the guys in the OOWF that I knew we could count on to make a difference. But now? Now you are nothing more than a thug. A thug and a coward, and mark my words, one of these days, you sir, are going to get what’s coming to you.
Nash: Wow, way to stay impartial there Russ
Russ: BOOMER SOONER
Nash: what does that even mean?
Russ: BOOMER FUCKING SOONER!!!!
Razz: Uh, I think that means we should probably move on to the next match before Russ is moved to, uh, move
Nash: But I……yeah ok ok, fine, next match is, uh, Eric O’Mac facing Concrete TG
Russ: <completely calm as though nothing had happened> What an intriguing match this is. Everyone assumes that it was Moosehead Jack and Chris Cole that engineered the coup against GM the Rick, which included costing Concrete TG his shot at the WWE world title, but in reality Eric O’Mac was the driving force behind the whole thing
Nash: Is he…..
Razz: KEEP UP NASH….Yeah I can’t remember Eric and Crete facing each other too often, but this really has the potential to be a powder keg of a match. Crete is LIVID that he was tricked into coming back to the OOWF, and what is worse, he has not exactly been given the heroes welcome back
Nash: Well he IS a traitor! I mean, I understand where he is coming from. It’s all about the money. The WWE could buy the OOWF ten times over, Crete was smart in making the move, but incredibly dumb for coming back. So what if you promised something? Promises are made to be broken. Crete did the dumb thing in giving up his future for this. You know how much money in endorsements he lost?
Razz: Not that much, he wasn’t living in New York
Nash: Well the WWE is in Stamford, that is close
Razz: Yeah but that really doesn’t matter, you have to live IN either New York or Los Angeles if you hope to make ANY money, that’s pretty much a fact, but if you don’t live in New York, you will never get it.
Russ: Where the hell are you getting these facts?
Razz: I have my sources
Russ: Uh, ok then. Eric and Crete have similar styles, if the rest of the locker room can stay out of the match, this should be an excellent display of athletic prowess between both men
Nash: Good luck there, I think they are STILL fighting
Russ: Let’s head to the ring

ERIC O’MAC vs. CONCRETE TG

Crete heads to the ring from the melee at the top of the ramp holding the back of his head. He slides beneath the ropes and heads to the corner trying to clear the cobwebs. From the fight at the top of the ramp, Eric O’Mac sees Crete in the ring and sprints down the ramp and slides under the bottom rope and tries to attack Crete from behind, but Crete catches him with a kick to the mid section that stops Eric cold. Crete turns Eric in the corner and hammers him with shots to the face, then whips him across the ring. Crete follows Eric across the ring, but Eric leaps over the charging Crete, Crete stops himself before he slams into the turnbuckle and turns and gets ready to super kick Eric in the mouth, but from the outside Moose reaches in and sweeps Crete’s leg, causing just enough of a distraction to allow Eric to nail Crete in the back of the head with an enzuguri! Crete slowly slumps to his knees in the corner and Eric and Moose share a nice laugh. Eric pulls Crete from the corner and plants him on the mat with a belly to belly suplex, then hits a spinning springboard leg drop off the bottom rope. Eric grabs Crete’s arm and works the arm bar, pulling back and trying for the submission. Crete refuses to give up, and works to a sitting base. Eric keeps Crete off balance by repeatedly hammering him with forearms to the back of the head. Crete finally works to a vertical base and backs Eric into the corner where the referee wants a clean break. Eric releases the hold, then lunges at Crete, but Crete avoids Eric and sweeps his legs sending him to the mat. Crete immediately pounces and grinds Eric on the mat with a clothesline, the whole time trading words with Moose on the outside. Eric fights to a vertical base and lifts Crete for a belly to back suplex, but Crete snaps him over and takes Eric back to the mat, releases the hold and both men spring to their feet, Eric tries a spinning heel kick, but Crete ducks and catches Eric with one of his own sending him to the corner. Crete waits for Eric to pull himself to his feet then charges into the corner with a perfect Stinger splash that pancakes Eric. Eric staggers out of the corner and falls face first to the mat. Crete grabs his legs and locks Eric in a Boston crab trying for the submission, and positioning himself so he can keep an eye on Moose. Eric yells in pain but refuses to give up, he fights his way to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope forcing the break. Once Crete releases the hold, Eric slips under the bottom rope to the floor where he is immediately consoled by Moose. Crete waits in the middle of the ring, not taking their bait on the outside. Finally Eric climbs onto the apron and Crete charges over and grabs Eric, blocks a punch thrown, and suplexes Eric back into the ring. Crete waits for Eric to get to his feet, then whips him to the ropes and connects with that super kick he wanted to do earlier. Eric falls to the mat grabbing his jaw in pain as Crete climbs the top rope. Before Crete can do anything, and behind the referee’s back, Moose runs over and shoves Crete off the top rope to the floor. Crete crashes into the steel guard rail. Davin Moreland tears himself away from the fight at the top of the ramp and heads to the ring, as Eric gets to his feet in the middle of the ring, and while the referee is checking on Crete, Davin slips into the ring and hits Eric with A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin slides out of the ring before he is spotted and heads back up the ramp to help Phantos and Lucios fight off The Heels. Eric is out in the center of the ring, and Crete is out on the outside of the ring. Crete recovers first, pulling himself under the bottom rope and draping an arm across Eric, but he can only get a two count as Eric dramatically rolls his shoulder at two. Crete pulls Eric to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a hurracarana, keeps hold of his legs and gets a two count, Eric reverses it into a sunset flip and gets a two count of his own. Both men spin to their feet and Crete whips Eric to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Eric ducks it and drops Crete with a hang man’s neck breaker, then heads to the top rope and tries a frog splash, but Crete moves out of the way and Eric gets a face full of canvas. Crete pounces and tries a mahistrol cradle, but Eric kicks out at two. Crete gets to his feet and tries to pull Eric to his feet, but Eric hits a low blow that doubles him over in pain. Eric throws him between the ropes to the floor, but before Moose can get around the ring, Crete jumps back on the apron. Eric tries to stop him but Crete nails Eric with a shoulder block to the gut doubling him over in pain, then tries a sunset flip. Eric struggles to fight the hold, and Moose reaches in from outside and grabs Eric’s arms. Eric drops down on Crete and with the leverage from Moose, gets the one, two, NO! The referee looks up at the last second and sees Moose and kicks Eric’s arms sending Eric over in the sunset flip, one, two, NO! Eric kicks out. Both men get to their feet and Crete leaps on Eric and tries another hurracarana but Eric catches him and PLANTS him on the mat with a power bomb, rolls him up and grabs a handful of tights and gets the one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 13:28 – Eric O’Mac

After the decision, the fight at the top of the ramp finally spills all the way down into the ring. Somewhere in the melee Crete gets to his feet and gets CLOCKED in the face with a chair! Crete goes down like a sack of bricks, and we see that he has been split wide open. The camera looks around and we see Eric O’Mac scurrying out of the ring holding a chair and grinning like the cat that ate the canary. It takes several minutes and numerous officials and Beijing police to clear the ring so the matches can continue. Several men from both sides are left bloody and battered from the fight. Both sides are ordered to remain in the back unless they are specifically involved in the match, I have a feeling no on is going to listen to that.

Russ: Another cheap shot! This is unbelievable!
Razz: Russ, where was this indignation when Stank led Rick’s men in an attack of Bennett and his men?
Russ: That was justified!
Nash: Two wrongs don’t make a right
Russ: What would you know about rights?
Nash: I faced Alex Wright
Razz: Das Wunderkind?
Nash: The same
Russ: What does that have to do with anything?
Nash: Its war, all is fair in love and war, and the OOWF. And that brings me to my guest for the evening “Last Call” Scott Hall!
Russ: What the hell is Scott Hall doing in China
Razz: Shots?
Hall: Hey Yo! Is everybody here to see the OOWF?! (cheers from the crowd) Or is everybody here to see the nWo? Survey Says: one more for the Bad Guys!
Razz: Uh, Scott, no one is here to see the nWo anymore, no one cares
Hall: HOLY SHIT! A LEPRECHAUN! GIMME YOUR GOLD WEE ONE!!!
Razz: Get the fuck off of me! Nash keep your boy under control
Nash: Scotty, Scotty calm down, it’s not a Leprechaun, its Razz. He must have hit the saki bar or something
Razz: Shocking
Nash: So, now for some hard hitting journalism, Scotty what do you think of this little OOWF War going on between Bennett and Rick?
Hall: I think, here’s what I think, I think the West Texas Rednecks are FUCKING AWESOME!!
Nash: Uhh Scott, most of them are dead
Hall: DEAD SEXY!! KEVIN NASH!! BIG KEV!! When did you get here?
Russ: For the love of god can we move on to the next match
Hall: LEMME DO IT!! Our next match is Kevin Cold facing David Moreground, did I get that right?
Nash: Close enough Scotty, why don’t you head back to the hotel and I will catch up with you then
Hall: BIG SEXY!! KEVIN NASH!! BIG KEV!! When did you get here? Where is Samoan Jim? I liked him! Do you like my ICP shirt? WHAT IS A JUGGALO!!!
Nash: Yeah Scott, that’s great SECURITY!! I’ll catch you later tonight
Hall: TOO SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!
Russ: Well that was interesting
Razz: How the hell did he get into China?
Nash: Moving right along, Cole versus Moreland, surely you guys have something to say about that!
Russ: Well it appears that Moreland is had got into Cole’s head, he has beat him seven straight times, that has to weigh on your mind!
Razz: Yeah it does. When you are in this business you have to think you are the best at all times. When you come across a guy that you cannot beat, a guy that just seems to have your number, it gets damn frustrating, and sometimes doubts start to creep into your mind.
Nash: Well, I have never had a losing streak against anyone, so I wouldn’t know what Cole is going through, but I do know Cole, and I know that he is one of the mentally toughest men in wrestling
Razz: Didn’t he snap last summer and run off naked with Seraph?
Nash: Uh, hey look at the time! Its time to go to the ring!

CHRIS COLE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – Best Of Seven Series, Match 3 Davin Moreland Leads 2-0

The Beijing crowd starts to chant something before the next match. If I knew Chinese, I’d tell you what they were saying. Alas, we’re not that lucky. Referee Davis Hightower waits in the ring as the houselights start to change. “Master of Puppets” blows up the PA, as a focused and smirking Chris “The Main Event” Cole makes his way into the ring. The crowd boos for everything they’re worth, and Cole signals to them all that they’re number 1, drawing more boos. A potential riot looks like it will break out until “Pull Me Under” comes over the PA to the darkened houselights and silly, stupid ridiculous pyro from the home of fireworks. Davin Moreland starts talking trash from the ramp, and constantly talks all the way down. Cole starts to yap back, and after Davin’s double jump into the ring – Hightower immediately gets in between them and tells them both something that looks like “cut the shit and wrestle”. This match is the 3rd match in the Best of Seven series for the #1 Contender to the OOWF World Heavyweight title between Davin Moreland and Chris “The Main Event” Cole. Davin Moreland leads 2-0. Hightower senses he can’t hold these two off each other any longer, and he calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Moreland and Cole charge right after each other and start trading some HEAVY haymakers and this looks like a hockey game. Cole ducks one shot, his eye already swelling, and is able to counter with a kick directly to Moreland’s knee, and Davin stops swinging. SWINGING NECKBREAKER from Cole and he starts to fire up. Cole runs the ropes and DESTROYS Moreland with a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE. Cole gets to the near turnbuckle and hits a BIG Double Leg drop off the 2nd rope. Cole grabs Moreland’s legs and looks to end this one early. Cover: 1, t…no. Cole is not wasting time and goes right back to Davin’s legs, and locks in the ELEVATED TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Davin is in HUGE trouble! Hightower slides in looking for the tap and it really doesn’t look too good for Moreland. 30 seconds pass and Davin can get nowhere from the center of the ring. A full minute passes and the crowd starts to chant “More-rand…More-rand…” This fires up Moreland a bit and he tries to power out of the hold, but gets nowhere. 90 seconds and FINALLY Moreland inches toward the ropes. Finally a full two minutes have gone by before Davin can reach the ropes. Hightower calls for the break and Cole uses the whole 5-count.

Cole finally relents and breaks the hold, but a stunned Moreland is still holding the bottom rope and hasn’t gotten up yet, still trying to literally shake the cobwebs out. Finally, he uses the ropes for assistance and is able to get up to a vertical base. Cole can’t wait a second longer and charges…you guessed it…LOW BRIDGE! Cole falls all the way out to the barrier, and Moreland, playing a bit of possum apparently, already looks 100% better and DRILLS Cole with a SLINGSHOT 360 PLANCHA, forcing Cole down, and it’s time for some BARRIER RELATED OFFENSE! Cole takes the ride into the STEEL STEPS! Moreland goes over to the Jost Van Dyckian Announce Table, and starts to do some housecleaning! Monitors and the top of the table are carefully placed on the ground. Moreland goes over to cool, but eats a LOW BLOW for his trouble. Cole limps to his feet, and grabs the still-doubled-over Moreland by his hair and lands a Shitty Jericho Bulldog on the Jost Van Dyckian Announce Table! Cole gets to the top and pulls Moreland up with him…sets him up…and hits a…wait for it…HEADLINER THROUGH THE JOST VAN DYCKIAN ANNOUCNE TABLE! Here lies Davin Moreland…we hardly knew ye. Cole limps back into the ring and Hightower starts a count. Moreland is stirring by the count of 7 and makes his way back to the ring. Wait. What is that? Something’s moving under the ring, and it’s The Dead, Viper and The E! They’ve got CLANGY POLES! It just so happens that when the three make their appearance, Cole starts complaining about something (equipment malfunction, maybe?) and distracts Hightower as Moreland gets his bones broken by CLANGY POLES. Finally, the three have had enough and toss their CLANGY POLES under the ring, the signal for Cole to stop bitching and tell Hightower to count again. Hightower resumes his count at 8, but the result is academic.
WINNER by COUNTOUT (via nefarious means and cheating) in 12:17, CHRIS COLE!

The Heels, IHOP, MacCappington, Hardcore, and LD all come charging down to the ring, while Bennett and Moose assume their normal positions around the ring directing traffic as an 11 on 1 beat down ensues on the already dead Moreland…continues to be dead. Aerosmith starts to pump from the PA and Phantos, Lucios and Carl from Fresno all fly down to ringside, with Carl focusing on MacCappington, but the numbers start to turn again. Bunny charges down and does something flippy which momentarily takes out 4 people from the fight. Concrete TG comes down and goes right after Moose, and after taking him out, looks to brawl with Eric. DRINK AND DESTROY are out, Stank, the Sons and OBJ join in the fray, as the tide starts to turn. BAD and Capellan come flying down, and Team OOWF has the numbers! GM the Rick appears at the top of the ramp as Team OOWF clears the ring and flattens Team Bennett, reclaiming the ring.

[mooseheadjack]

Nash: See I TOLD you Moreland wouldn’t get into Cole’s head!
Russ: Are you serious? It took a three on one beat down for this not to be a 3-0 series lead for Moreland!
Razz: Hey, sometimes you gotta do whatever it takes to break out of a slump. That may mean taking advantage of the numbers game, that may mean dressing up like Marilyn Monroe and singing Happy Birthday to the promoter, whatever it takes
Russ: WHAT?
Razz: Hey I was young and foolish, you know what I am talking about Nash
Nash: HA! I have NO idea
Razz: Really Oz?
Nash: I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION THA……I mean……I have no idea what you are talking about. Big Daddy Cool, that’s me.
Razz: Of course it is. Anyway Russ, Cole took advantage of the situation, but he is still down two to one, and he has lost seven of his last eight matches to Moreland, that is still something that is going to weigh on his mind
Russ: What galls me is that Chris Cole could be one of the greatest wrestlers in the world today but he is content taking short cut after short cut, every single time! Instead of winning on his own, he relied on the help of others to get the job done, what kind of self respect can he possibly have?
Nash: Please Russ, man you are really living in a fantasy world. Here are the facts, he won, and he gets paid like a winner, that is all that matters. Self respect? What does self-respect pay? You want to have self-respect, you will be stuck jerking the curtain and getting paid opener money your whole career. You will be the guy that puts over guys who decide they want a career over self respect. Cole is ruthless, you think he cares about self respect? Cole cares about one thing and one thing only: himself. That is all that matters
Razz: I gotta say I agree with Nash here Russ. Sure ideally you want to be proud of what you are doing, but when an opportunity presents itself, you have to take it. Had Cole lost this match, he is down 3-0 and lost eight straight to Moreland. He would have had to win four straight to win the series, that kind of thing, psychologically would have been too much to overcome for anyone. It may not be the nicest way to do it, but he took care of business tonight
Russ: You are both cynical bastards. Moving on to the next match, we have the first match in the OOWF Round Robin tournament for the OOWF Tag team titles. The surprising IHOP faces fellow Bennett Army members The Heels. If IHOP win this match, they would be 3-1 in the tournament and have a very good chance at coming out of this with the titles!
Razz: If you would have told me two months ago that we would have been talking about SYB winning a title, I would have told you you were insane, but SYB has improved his game a lot and IHOP are a legit team
Nash: Wait just a minute boys, you are not SERIOUSLY saying that IHOP has a chance against the greatest tag team in OOWF history, The Heels, right? Please, Johnny and AA came back for one reason and one reason only, and that was to win the tag team titles. IHOP are a nice little story and all, but there is no way they are going to beat the Heels, BANK ON IT!
Russ: Well there is only one way to find out, lets head to the ring!

THE HEELS vs. IHOP

SYB and Skurge, better known as IHOP come to the ring to the boos of the crowd. They are accompanied by the lovely and talented Dorothy Mantooth. The Heels are announced, and they come out to the top of the ramp and pause there for a moment and eye their opponents. Johnny Adrenaline produces a mic and he SPEAKS:

You know, Skurvy and Simp, I know we are supposed to be on the same side and all that, we are both part of Bennett’s Army, but come on, lets be serious here, you guys are simply not in our class. We are the greatest team in OOWF history, unlike some people who like to make the claim, WE are the measuring stick around here. Now, you guys have had a nice run in this little tournament, but we all know that AA and I are destined to win OUR tag team titles back. So, what we are going to have happen right now, is you two jabronis are going to do the right thing and lay down in the middle of the ring and let us move one step closer to bringing the gold him

Inside the ring, SYB and Skurge seem to debate the idea for a moment and seem to come to an agreement. Skurge waits in the corner and SYB lays down in the middle of the ring. The Heels climb into the ring and AA nods his approval and covers SYB as Johnny turns to the crowd and taunts them. The referee hits the mat, looks a little disgusted at the events unfolding and counts one, two, thre….WHAM! Skurge charges out of the corner and NAILS AA right in the side of the head with a big boot! AA’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he flops over on the mat. SYB gets to his feet and charges into the corner, Johnny turns around just in time to get a spear into the mid section that sends both of them through the ropes. Inside the ring Skurge pulls AA off the mat and plants him with a side Russian leg sweep, then floats over and covers, but AA kicks out at two. On the outside, SYB pulls a clearly stunned Johnny Adrenaline to his feet and drops him to the mat with a chin breaker, then grabs Johnny’s legs and catapults him into the ring post. Adrenaline’s head thuds off the steel and he falls to the floor. Inside the ring Skurge has AA on his feet and tries a suplex, but AA blocks it and lifts Skurge for one of his own, but SYB slips into the ring behind AA and gets on his hands and knees behind him, AA trips over SYB and crashes to the mat, with Skurge coming down on AA and getting a two count. Skurge reaches out and tags in SYB, SYB comes in and grabs AA and hooks him for a double under hook suplex, then turns it into a PILEDRIVER! JOOPOCALYPSE! AA is out! SYB floats over and covers, one, two, thre…NO!!! A bloody Johnny Adrenaline makes it back into the ring and drives an elbow into the back of SYB’s head breaking up the pin. He pulls SYB to his feet and kicks him low and plants him with a DDT before the referee can get him out of the ring. Both men are down and AA gets to his feet first and puts up his dukes as SYB gets to his feet. Both men are groggy and circle each other with their fists up, both men make comically wild swings that connect with nothing but air and both men fall to the mat face first and remain there. The referee starts the dramatic ten count of doom and makes it to eight before both men drag themselves to their corners and make the tag. Skurge and Adrenaline charge into the ring, Skurge tries a clothesline but Adrenaline ducks and takes him to the mat with a hangman’s neck breaker. Johnny immediately pops up to his feet and drives a knee across Skurge’s chest, covers, but only gets a once count. Johnny waits for Skurge to get to his feet again, and whips him into the Heels corner, Johnny charges in, but Skurge gets a boot up that catches him in the face, before Skurge can do anything, AA grabs the tag rope and wraps it around his throat. Johnny steps in and grabs Skurge’s legs and pulls him off the mat, making the choking even worse. SYB shoves the referee aside and grabs Johnny and hits a Randy Orton back breaker, freeing his partner. Skurge fights out of the corner, catching AA with an elbow to the side of the head then leaping over Johnny and rolling him up with a sunset flip for a two count. Skurge pulls Johnny to his feet and sends him to the ropes but he lowers his head a moment too soon and Johnny catches him in the mouth with a kick that stands him up, then tries a clothesline but Skurge grabs him and reverses it into a back slide for a two count. Skurge gets to his feet first and scoops Johnny up and plants him on the mat, then tags SYB in and they do the WAZZUP spot, only SYB yells MAVEL TOV! Then dives straight into Johnny’s groin (not the first time SYB has gone groin diving according to our sources). Johnny writhes in pain and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor. AA leaps off the apron and runs over to him and the two seem to confer for a second, then AA hops back on the apron and yells at the referee to get Skurge out of the ring. As the referee is distracted with Skurge, SYB reaches between the ropes to pull Johnny back into the ring and Johnny PASTES him with a chair to the face. A metallic THUD echoes across the arena as steel meets face. SYB slumps back into the ring and Adrenaline slides in and hooks both legs for the dramatic cover, the referee never saw a thing, but he turns around and sees Johnny making the cover and falls to the mat and makes the one, two three.
WINNERS in 15:44 – The Heels

Nash: See, no problem, I knew my boys would take care of business!
Russ: Well I wouldn’t exactly call it no problem, IHOP gave them a whole lot more of a match than The Heels expected. What I wonder is if this will cause any dissention within Bennett’s Army?
Razz: Nah I don’t think so Russ, I mean they are all competitors, they know that the tag titles are at stake, and that to go anything less than balls out would be an insult. It won’t cause dissention between them just like it won’t cause any dissention between Phantos & Lucios and The Midnight Sons over on Rick’s side
Russ: IHOP has really impressed me over the last few weeks, I think this could be a team to keep your eye on
Nash: Well right now I would clearly rank them second behind The Heels in the tag ranks
Razz: Hold on Nash, I agree that IHOP has improved a whole lot, but to say they are better than Phantos & Lucios and the rest, I think that is a bit optimistic
Nash: Well there is only one way to settle this, welcome my next guests, the greatest tag team manager of all time James E. Cornette, and two of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all time, “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner and “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton, welcome gentlemen
JC: good to be here Nash, but good God You should have the IHOP arrested. They just came out here and killed your ratings. Where did you get those two? They couldn't draw money if you dipped them in glue and dragged them through Fort Knox. I mean SYB’s so skinny he could tread water through a garden hose.
Russ: Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Cornette, the human quote machine
JC: Russ you still with us? I figured by now you would be in the back smothered and covered in your own barbecue sauce.
Nash: HA that is priceless, Scotty you were one of the greatest tag team wrestlers ever, what do you think of this round robin tournament?
SS: When I was teaming with my brother Rick we were the baddest team in the land. All those other teams couldn’t touch us. Look at me, I am a genetic freak, the Big Bad Booty Daddy, those other teams, all of them better order their double cheeseburgers to go because I am gonna send them all to the emergency room. HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
Razz: Well said Scott, I think, Bobby do you like these kinds of tournaments?
BE: yes
Razz: Would you care to elaborate?
BE: no
Nash: Ladies and gentlemen give it up for Jim Cornette, Bobby Eaton and Scott Steiner! Thanks guys, and if you see Scott Hall, make sure he is face down
Russ: That was a complete waste of time
Nash: It was a train wreck, how great is that?
Russ: How bout we talk about the next match?
Razz: How big is this? If Phantos and Lucios win this match, they are the new OOWF World tag team champions!
Russ: I have no doubt that Phantos and Lucios are well aware that all that stands between them and gold is BAD, who are certainly no slouches
Nash: This is where we will see if they have the same killer instinct that Chris Cole has, they have a chance to take the gold back, will they go to any lengths to win the belts, or will they try and have some self respect and “do the right thing?”
Russ: It’s Phantos and Lucios, so you KNOW they will do the right thing, but that certainly doesn’t mean they can’t win the titles.
Razz: Hey, they know the stakes here, they will up their game I am sure. They are an established team and know the stakes. But, there is only one way to find out
Nash: The ring. Go to it. Now

PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. BAD

Quite the contrast of styles in this one, you have the bar room brawlers Seamus McNasty and Damon Wrath taking on the more scientifically accomplished Phantos & Lucios. Phantos & Lucios come to the ring without Davin Moreland, what seems like a bold statement at first, really is only them putting their faith in the idea that Bennett hasn’t recruited BAD…….yet. Anyway Phantos & Lucios wait in the ring and discuss some last minute strategy. It looks like the bigger Lucios will start things for Team Aquafina. BAD’s music plays and Seamus and Damon charge to the ring, and storm inside and try to bait Phantos & Lucios into a brawl, but the two masked men will not take the bait, instead they wait patiently in the corner while Seamus and Damon expend their energy yelling to the crowd and at the referee. Finally they settle down, and it looks like it will be Wrath against Lucios. Wrath and Lucios circle and lock up, Damon grabs an arm wringer and immediately begins hammering Lucios across the chest with clubbing forearms trying to get Lucios into a brawl. Lucios cocks his fist ready to hammer Wrath with a shot, then grabs his arm, reverses the arm wringer and takes Wrath to the mat with a hip toss, then locks on a top wristlock and keeps him on the mat. Wrath fights his way to his feet and backs Lucios into the corner, the referee calls for a clean break, Lucios lets go, but Wrath gets a little shove to the face off before he steps back to the middle of the ring. Lucios regains his composure and the two meet back in the center of the ring and locks up again, this time Wrath drops Lucios to one knee with a straight right to the jaw. This is finally enough for Lucios and he comes up swinging and he and Wrath go back and forth trading punches around the ring, Lucios grabs Wrath and takes him to the mat with a double leg take down then twists Wrath over in a STF type move, but reaches out and tags in Phantos. Phantos slingshots into the ring and drops a leg across the back of Wrath’s head. Phantos and Wrath spring to their feet and Phantos whips Wrath to the ropes and catches him with a Thesz press and lands a couple of stiff forearms to the side of the head. Phantos breaks before there is the threat of a DQ, he gets to his feet and pulls Wrath up, but Damon rocks Phantos with a European uppercut then shoves him into the BAD corner and buries a couple of shoulders into his midsection. Damon tags I Seamus, and Seamus snap mares Phantos out of the corner, and before he leaves, Wrath nails a drop kick to the back of Phantos head, and Seamus rebounds off the ropes and nails a falling clothesline to the back of Phantos head that smacks his forehead off the mat, folding him in half. Seamus slams him back to the mat and covers, but can only get a one count. Seamus flips Phantos over and grabs his arms and NALIS him with a curb stomp to the back of the head, then drops an elbow across the back of his neck, then locks him in a cross face and pulls back, reaching up to tag in Damon. Wrath steps into the ring and gets a running start and NAILS Phantos in the face with a stiff kick. Wrath rolls Phantos over and covers and gets a two count before Lucios comes in and saves him. Wrath pulls Phantos to his feet and hangs him throat first on the top rope, then tags Seamus back in, Seamus sprints across the ring and leapfrogs Wrath and crashes down on the small of Phantos back. Seamus covers, but Phantos manages to roll his shoulder at two. Seamus shows a little bit of frustration and yells at the referee then pulls Phantos to his feet and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Phantos reverses the whip and catches him with a high knee to the jaw that staggers Seamus, Phantos leaps for his corner to tag, but Seamus grabs his leg and tries to pull him back to the middle of the ring, Phantos works to his feet and BLASTS Seamus with an enzuguri. Phantos lunges across the ring and makes the tag. Lucios comes in a house of fire! He clocks Seamus with a clothesline and elevates a charging Wrath with a big back body drop. Wrath gets back to his feet and Lucios throws him between the ropes to the floor. Lucios turns around and catches Seamus as he tries a cross body block and spins him to the mat with a vicious side effect. Lucios covers, but Seamus kicks out at two. Lucios pulls Seamus to his feet and hauls him up on his shoulders and sets up the Drop kick device. He tags in Phantos and Phantos climbs to the top rope, but Damon Wrath leaps onto the apron and shoves Phantos off the top rope into the ring. Seamus hammers Lucios with elbows to the top of the head and slips off his shoulders. Seamus spins Lucios around and catches him with a kick to the mid section followed by an arm breaker DDT. Seamus pulls Lucios back to his feet and hammerlocks him then spins him shoulder first into the ring post while Wrath spring boards into the ring and nearly decapitates Phantos with a clothesline. Phantos struggles to his feet and Seamus drops him with the Black & Tan! Seamus covers and hooks Phantos leg as Wrath pulls Lucios out of the ring to keep him from breaking it up, and the two of them brawl around ringside. Lucios tries several times to get back into the ring, but each time Wrath catches him and pulls him to the outside. The referee hits the mat and makes the one, two, three.
WINNERS in 15:58 – BAD

Russ: That has to be a little bit of an upset there! And if my calculations, that means we have a FIVE WAY TIE!!!
Nash: No, you don’t say. Who could possibly have seen that coming?
Razz: HEY Mr. Snarky, you wanna cool it?
Nash: I mean, oh WOW A FIVE WAY TIE! THAT MUST MEAN WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BIG BLOWOFF MATCH AT MAYHEM!!! Is that better?
Russ: I hate you. The fact remains that the GM’s, whether that is Rick, Ecosystem, LJ Bennett, Erlana, Stank, Davin Moreland, whoever the hell is running this place is going to have to come to a decision about what is going to be done about the tag team titles. You cannot have a month long tournament that ends in a no contest!
Razz: No, not here in the OOWF!
Nash: From my personal unbiased position, I think the titles should be awarded to The Heels. That CLEARLY seems like the fairest thing that we can do.
Russ: You would think that
Razz: Well, my guess is that we have some great big five way match that involves numerous gimmicks that play to each team’s individual strengths, and see who comes out of that alive, and then they get the titles.
Nash: Or maybe we could do a reverse steel cage ladder match!
Razz: What?
Nash: Everyone starts on the outside of the cage, the cage is legal, and the goal is to climb the side of the cage, then climb a ladder DOWN into the cage and get the title from under the ring! IT’S GENIUS!!
JC: You said reverse cage right…..ok, start on the outside, lemme write all this down….
Russ: GET OUT OF HERE! This is not TNA, we will do things mostly normal, no need to reinvent the wheel each time out! A new concept match is not history making if it is stupid. What COULD be history making tonight is Firewoman winning the OOWF Onslaught championship. A woman has never held a title in the OOWF, she could make history
Razz: The nice thing about Fire is she does not expect to be treated like a woman, she will get into the ring and mix it up with the guys and take her lumps accordingly. You gotta respect that!
Nash: Well back in the day when I was running the WWE, there was someone there…..
Razz: Yeah we know, Chyna
Nash: Well, no, I was talking about Hunter, Chyna was hung better than he was. I am pretty sure Chyna was a guy
Russ: WILL YOU STOP
Nash: Gorilla?
Razz: Gorilla porn?
Nash: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Razz: Uh, hey how bout we head to the ring and see if Firewoman can make OOWF history?

BUNNY vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Firewoman comes to the ring, focused and as intense as we have ever seen her. She survived a six person match to get the title shot tonight. She comes to the ring alone leaving Alexander and Alexis Darling in the back for the night. Fire climbs between the ropes and stares at the center of the ring lost in thought and concentration. That thought and concentration is abruptly broken as Eminem blares across the speakers and her former tag team partner Bunny makes his way to the ring. Bunny has a mic, and it appears that he is going to speak.

Ayo if it isn’t the woman that the whole world calls Fire
I may be a whole lot of things, but I sure ain’t no liar
When we was teaming, I was the man, I carried you, I brought the vicious
I’m gonna make you an offer, come home wit me and do my dishes

Fire just grins and puts her head down and appears to be laughing at something. Bunny has a sneer of approval on his face and soon he and the rest of the audience join in and start laughing. Suddenly Fire snaps her head up and we see she is deadly serious. Before Bunny can react Fire grabs him and throws him into the corner and hammers him with elbows to the side of the head and stiff kicks to the side and the side of the head. Fire pulls Bunny out of the corner and whips him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a side slam, covers, but only gets a one count. Fire keeps Bunny on the mat and flips him over and puts him in a camel clutch and repeatedly lands stiff cross faces across his face, drawing a small trickle of blood from his nose. To his credit Bunny will not give up, to his disappointment Fire releases the hold, but holds on to his arms and gives him a Firestomp to the back of the head driving Bunny’s face into the mat. Fire decides not to cover Bunny after that and instead pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a hip toss, but to his credit, Bunny lands on his feet and turns around and catches Fire with a drop kick to the face that sends her back to the corner. Bunny charges into the corner, but Fire side steps. Bunny shows his MAD ACROBATIC SKILLZ by leaping to the top rope, but before he can do anything Fire lands a drop kick to his rear that sends him through the air, crashing into the guardrail on the outside. Fire leaves the ring and pulls Bunny to his feet, but he hits her with a jawbreaker that staggers Fire, then lands a spinning heel kick that sends her sprawling up the ramp. Bunny rolls back into the ring and waits for Fire to get to her feet, then gets a running start and springs over the top rope and takes her out with a 360 senton splash. Bunny gets to his feet and poses for a moment, looking rather proud of himself. Bunny circles part way around the ring and waits for Fire to get to her feet, then gets a running start and leaps onto the guardrail and runs the rail (an especially impressive performance considering the OOWF doesn’t have the wide pads that SOME feds have) Bunny gets to the end of the rail and leaps at Fire, but she has recovered by now and she catches Bunny by the throat and choke slams him to the floor! Rabbxt Roadkill! Fire scrapes Bunny off the floor and rolls him under the ropes back into the ring and follows him in and covers and gets a two count before Bunny rolls his shoulder just at the last second. Fire pulls Bunny up and sends him to the ropes and catches him in a sleeper hold. Bunny fights it and starts to fade, but then slips behind Fire and nails a belly to back suplex that folds Fire in half. Both are down and the referee starts the ten count. He makes it to eight before Fire pulls herself up using the ropes. Given that this is her second match of the night, her tank has to be getting a little on the low side. She gets to her feet and turns to see Bunny kip up and catch her with a monkey flip that sends her over to the mat. Bunny laves the ring and waits on the apron, when Fire gets to her feet Bunny springs off the top rope and tries a hurracarana but Fire catches him and reverses it into a Boston crab! Bunny screams in pain, and looks like he is about to make it to the ropes to force the break when Fire breaks the hold and reverses it into a STF! Bunny howls in pain as Fire scoots them both away from the ropes. In desperation Bunny reaches behind him and gouges Fire’s eyes until she breaks the hold. Fire gets to her feet and staggers around the ring trying to clear her vision and Bunny hits her with a shining wizard that drops her to the mat. He hits a standing moonsault and covers for a two count, Fire gets her shoulder up at the last second. Bunny shows a little bit of frustration and yells at the referee. He heads to the corner and climbs to the top and waits for Fire to get to her feet, Bunny leaps and catches Fire with a perfect clothesline that snaps her head back and drives the back of her head into the mat. Fire’s eyes roll back into her head and she gets a distant look on her face. Bunny gets to his feet and gives us the signal for the end, then hits a moonsault from the bottom rope, gets to his feet and hits one from the middle rope, then springs back up and climbs to the top, plays to the crowd for a moment then tries a split legged moonsault, but Fire gets her knees up just in time! Bunny writhes in pain on the mat as Fire gets to her feet and grabs Bunny and hauls him up in a vertical suplex and drops him stomach first on the top rope, then flips him off the top rope back into the ring and right across her knee. Fire grabs a groggy Bunny and sends him to the corner again, and once again Bunny recovers enough to scale the corner and turn and leap, but Fire is ready for him and catches him with a super kick right to the face! Bunny’s head snaps back and he hits the mat, barely conscious. Fire pulls him to his feet and hits the FIREDRIVER! And covers, one, two THREE!!! NEW ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION!
WINNER in 18:48 – Firewoman

After the match Firewoman gets to her feet and the referee hands her the title and she holds it high above her head, an uncharacteristic smile spreads across her face and the crowd roars their approval and appreciation. Fire takes one look at her former partner and leaves the ring, soaking in the crowd. Bunny gets to his feet and as he stands, someone slips into the ring wearing a black hoodie, so he must be evil, Bunny turns around and the mysterious man NAILS him with a super kick! Bunny falls to the mat and the man stands over him and pulls off his hood, it’s THE KNIFE!!!! Security comes into the ring and Knife leaves and hops the barricade and escapes through the crowd.

Russ: SHE DID IT!!! SHE BEAT HER FORMER PARTNER!! WE HAVE A NEW OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION!
Razz: Congratulations to Firewoman that is one hell of an accomplishment, but I hope she doesn’t think this will be an easy title to keep. She has a friendly rivalry with The Dead, Bunny is going to want a rematch, and now, evidently, The Knife is back, and I am sure he will have something to say about the Onslaught Championship
Nash: So, a woman is holding a title in the OOWF. Good god what has this business come to! She’s no Alundra Blayze, that’s for damn sure!
Razz: What?
Russ: Ignore him, congratulations to Firewoman, she brings more gold to DEA, whether that is a good thing or not remains to be seen.
Razz: Speaking of DEA, Alexander Darling defends his Intercontinental title against Donovan Viper AND Capellan. Darling contends that Viper and Capellan have some sort of plan to work together to conspire to take his title
Razz: That is just laughable, outside of Moose and Crete, I am not sure if there are two people who hate each other more in the OOWF. There is NO WAY, NO WAY AT ALL that Capellan and Viper would work together, none.
Nash: Never say never in this business Razz. They said a midget would never be a world champion, and you held the ECW title didn’t you?
Razz: Someone thinks he is funny today doesn’t he?
Russ: Back to the match, Alexander Darling has had a lot of distractions lately, with Firewoman and Alexis both causing problems, and this mysterious man, Poe, from Japan, do you think this could be too much for him to focus on the match?
Nash: If there is one thing Darling is capable of, it is blocking out all distractions around him and focusing on the match. If he loses, I can guarantee you it won’t be because he lost his focus, it will be because he was beaten by the better man in the ring, and I am gonna tell you, when he is on, there may not be anyone better in the ring than Alexander Darling
Razz: High words of praise there from Nash, but he does have a point. Like Darling or not, the man is a world class athlete. The problem is, he is in there with two other world class athletes as well. Capellan has admitted to losing his focus a bit lately, but what better spot would there be to get it back? Winning the intercontinental title would make a huge statement for Capellan. And Donovan Viper is just like his namesake, he is a snake that can strike at any time, any title can be his at a moment’s notice. You let your guard down for one second with this guy and it’s all over.
Russ: It looks like we are ready for the Intercontinental title match, lets head to the ring

ALEXANDER DARLING vs. DONOVAN VIPER vs. CAPELLAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Capellan is announced and he sprints to the ring and slides under the bottom rope and springs to his feet and plays to the crowd. Donovan Viper is announced and he comes to the ring flanked by MacCappington and Ryan Hardcore, they make their way to the ring and Capellan eyes them warily. Alexander Darling comes to the top of the ramp with Alexis Darling, who appears to have remarkably recovered from her shot from Firewoman, and an exhausted but happy Firewoman. Fire remains at the top of the ramp and she and Alexander Darling <CLINK> their titles before he and Alexis head to the ring and Fire heads to the back. Alexander Darling steps between the ropes and eyes his two opponents warily. This match for the Intercontinental title is under “first to score the pin is the winner” so the champion can lose his title without being pinned. The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. All three men come to the middle of the ring and we have ourselves an old fashioned stare down of mutual hate. Alexander Darling appears to make a comment about the nature of Capellan and Donovan Viper’s relationship. Capellan laughs, Donovan Viper turns his head away from Darling for a moment and appears to consider his options,. Then turns back to him with rage in his eyes and goes after Darling, backing him across the ring with shots to the head. Viper grabs Darling and sends him to the ropes and is going to go for a clothesline, but Darling bails out of the ring to the safety of the floor. While Darling stands on the outside staring wide-eyed at Viper, Viper dares him to come back into the ring. Capellan seizes the opportunity and rolls Viper up from behind, but Donovan kicks out at two. Viper spins to his feet and gets leveled by a leg lariat from Capellan. Cap waits for Viper to get back to his feet, then connects with a drop kick to the point of the jaw. Alexander Darling slips back into the ring and tries to attack Capellan from behind, but Capellan sidesteps him and sends him to the ropes as well and catches him with a drop kick on the rebound that sends him to his rear. Capellan is pumped and ready to go. He pulls Viper to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a power slam, then springs to his feet just in time to catch a charging Darling with a spine buster. Cap covers Darling, but Viper comes flying in with an elbow to the back of the head that breaks that up real fast. Viper pulls Capellan to his feet and plants him on the mat with an inverted DDT. As Donovan gets up, Alexander Darling charges in and clips his knee from behind sending Viper to the mat in pain. Darling pulls Capellan to his feet and throws him over the top rope. Capellan lands hard on the floor with a nasty thud, and Darling turns his attention to Viper who is on the mat clutching his knee. Darling grabs Viper’s leg and drops several knees across the inside of his knee, then keeps the pressure on, twisting Viper’s knee awkwardly. Viper writhes on the mat in pain, but will not give up. Darling gets to his feet and wisely positions Viper away from the ropes and locks him in a figure four. Viper howls in pain, but once again will not quit. On the outside, Capellan is on his feet, he hops to the apron and runs to the corner and scales the ropes and leaps and lands a FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH on Darling breaking the hold before Viper can possibly quit! Capellan covers Darling and gets a two count, but Darling reaches out and grabs the rope before the ref counts three. Capellan pulls Darling to his feet and hits a northern lights suplex and hooks the leg and gets a two count, but the count is broken up by a lunging Donovan Viper, who drops a forearm across Cap’s chest to break the pin. Cap and Viper pull Darling to his feet and send him to the ropes, Capellan drops to one knee and catches Darling with an elbow to the mid-section, then Viper charges off the ropes and nails a knee lift. Darling rolls under the bottom rope to the floor. Capellan gets to his feet and is immediately blindsided by Viper who catches him with an elbow to the side of the head. Viper backs Cap into the corner and hammers him with stiff shots, then takes a few steps back and runs in and catches him with a knee to the side of the head, then tries to follow that with a bulldog, but Capellan throws him off. As Viper gets to his feet, Capellan kicks him and hauls him up for a vertical suplex. Alexander Darling slips back into the ring and charges and catches Capellan with a spear that sends him to the mat, and sends Viper crashing down awkwardly on his head. Darling pulls Capellan to his feet and plants him on the mat with a DDT, then scoops a dazed Viper up and lifts him and hits a CRUCIFIX BOMB! Viper could be out! Darling covers, but Capellan summons up enough strength to lunge across the ring and break up the pin. Darling is enraged, and he gets to his feet and grabs Capellan and throws him out of the ring to the floor and follows. On the outside, he grabs Cap and throws him face first into the steel ring post, Capellan goes down like he has just been shot, and we see that he has been split wide open. Content with his handiwork Darling rolls back into the ring where Donovan Viper is struggling to his feet. Darling measures him and grabs him from behind and hits a series of German suplexes, three in a row, followed by a release suplex that folds Viper in half. Darling gets to his feet and motions for a pile driver, and hauls Viper up, but before he can finish the move, we hear a rhythmic “thump thump” sound that appears to only be heard by the Darlings. Viper and Capellan take no notice of it, and no one in the crowd seems to notice either. The thumping gets louder culminating in a blood curdling scream from Alexis! Darling drops Viper and turns to look, and there is, what appears to be a raven, perched on Alexis Darling’s shoulder. Alexis stands wide eyed and horrified. Alexander Darling leaves the ring and goes to his sister’s side and tries to comfort her, but she is nearly hysterical. Darling stops and stares at the raven for a moment, it caws a few times, then flies away into the rafters of the arena. Meanwhile, Capellan pulls himself up and climbs to the top rope, he steadies himself and waits for Viper to get to his feet. Capellan leaps and tries a Dragon kick, but Viper sidesteps him and Capellan slams to the mat. Viper pounces on Capellan and hooks him in the Anaconda Vice! Capellan is trapped in the middle of the ring and fading fast. Viper uses everything he has left to torque the pressure. Darling realizes what is going on outside the ring, but he is too late. Capellan loses consciousness and the referee calls for the bell just as Darling is sliding back into the ring to break up the pin!
WINNER in 27:07 and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Donovan Viper!

Nash: WHAT THE HELL? How did a BIRD get in here?
Razz: Do those things carry the bird flu? Russ I don’t want to get the bird flu, I don’t need to be quarantined in China dammit!
Russ: I don’t know how a raven got in here….
Nash: Raven was here? He is smart
Russ: Not THE Raven, A raven
Razz: Like THE Bunny, not A Bunny
Nash: You can’t get away from those furries can you?
Russ: The point is, that raven essentially cost Alexander Darling the intercontinental title. I have never seen two people so spooked by something in my life.
Razz: These mind games against the Darlings and Firewoman are getting pretty heavy. First Alexis wakes up in the hospital with three black roses, which was just creepy, and now this, what’s going on?
Russ: I think it is clear someone is playing mind games, and in my estimation, the games just cost Darling the intercontinental title, making this game FAR more dangerous now.
Nash: It’s one thing to jump in the ring and attack someone, we did our fair share of that in the nWo, it gets to the point where you almost expect it and can brace for it. But when you start messing with someone’s mind? That’s when it became personal
Razz: Like Sting?
Nash: WHERE? I mean….uh…..yeah, that bastard was always showing up messing with us, and we could never get our hands on him, THAT was frustrating. I can only imagine what Darling’s mindset is right now, if I am ANYONE in that locker room I am keeping my distance from Darling for a bit
Razz: I would have kept my distance anyway, that guy is kind of a prick
Russ: Be that as it may, we have had two title matches and two new champions, can lightning strike a third time in the main event?
Nash: I’ve gotta say I have been looking forward to this one. Stank and LD Williams have built one hell of a rivalry, but somehow it has taken a turn into mutual respect rather than outright hostility
Razz: Yeah that is not something you see very often. And then when you add to the fact that they are on opposite sides of this war, it is amazing it has remained competitive and somewhat friendly rather than out right hostile.
Russ: A lot of whispering around the back that this will be the last match LD Williams gets for awhile. They both wanted a cage match to prevent outside interference, and they got it, I think a lot of people feel that this is the chance LD wanted, and if he can’t get it done, then he has to step aside for a bit.
Nash: And I think he will be stepping aside for a bit. Stank has been damn near unbeatable as the champion. LD has showed there are some chinks in the armor, but he has not been able to exploit them enough to get a win. Tonight will be no different, he will push him to the limit, but in the end, Stank is going to walk out of the cage with the title.
Razz: I am going to disagree there Nash. You know all too well that the hardest thing to do in wrestling is to keep a title. Stank is already the longest reigning OOWF World Champion in OOWF history, he has held the title just shy of seven months, and the wear and strain are starting to show. I think tonight LD Williams takes his place among the OOWF immortals and puts his name among the world champions
Russ: Regardless of the outcome, this should be a physically exhausting match. These two know each other exceptionally well. I expect this to be a long match, a physical match, and while I do agree with you Razz that retaining a title is the hardest thing to do, I think Stank has enough left to make it through the night. The cage is set up, let’s head to the ring.

STANK vs. LD WILLIAMS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Steel Cage Match

The cage is in place and we are ready for our main event. This match is pin fall or submission only, no escape. The door will be locked and will stay locked until we have a winner. We get both men in the ring and they wait in their corners while we get the official announcements and weights and all the official boxing style introductions. The referee calls for the bell and this match is underway. At first neither man moves, they are both as familiar with one another as two competitors can possibly be. They have battled for the greatest prize in wrestling for months now, so I cannot imagine either man will have too many surprises up their sleeves. The two slowly circle and as they do, Stank keeps that often injured shoulder away from Williams. Williams notices this and the faintest of smiles creeps across his face as they lock up. Collar and elbow tie up and Stank positions himself so he is pushing more with his good shoulder rather than his bad. Williams grabs the injured arm and starts an arm wringer, but Stank immediately fights out of it. LD Williams grins and Stank snarls as they lock up again. This time Williams starts to grab the arm, but quickly drives a knee into the back of Stank’s leg dropping him to one knee, Williams catches Stank with a straight right to the jaw that sends him to the mat, then grabs his leg and locks him in an Indian death lock. Stank is clearly in a great deal of pain, but he refuses to show it and works his way to the ropes forcing the break as he grabs the bottom rope.

To his credit Williams lets Stank get to his feet and Stank glares at Williams trying to shake the pain out of his leg. Williams feigns attack a couple of times, but both times Stank shoves him to the mat and keeps him from his leg. The third time Williams comes in, Stank catches him with a knee to the jaw that stuns Williams. Stank wastes no time in pulling Williams off the mat and sending him face first into the cage, as Williams rebounds off the cage, Stank catches him with an inverted atomic drop then rebounds off the ropes and catches Williams with a flying boot to the face that nearly separates Williams head from his body. Stank covers, but doesn’t even get a one count before Williams rolls his shoulder. Stank pulls LD to his feet and sends him into the corner as hard as he can, Williams SLAMS into the turnbuckle and bounces out to the mat, grabbing his back in agony. Stank measures Williams and drops an elbow across the small of his back, then plants a knee in his back and pulls back on the head. Williams grunts in pain, but doesn’t even acknowledge the referee when he asks him if he wants to quit. Stank pulls Williams up and scoops him up, then drops him across his knee and keeps him there, pushing down on his chin trying to snap Williams in half. Once again Williams refuses to even consider giving up. Stank finally releases the hold and pulls Williams up and runs him face first into the cage a second time, then grabs him by the throat for a choke slam, but Williams frees himself with a kick to the kneecap. Stank takes a few steps back and Williams lands a couple of stiff kicks to the side of the leg, then stuns Stank with a European uppercut, then hits the ropes and chop blocks Stank from behind, folding his knee behind him and sending the big man to the mat.

LD Williams drags Stank toward the ropes and places his leg on the bottom rope and springs off driving his knee across the side of Stank’s knee. Williams pulls Stank away from the ropes, keeping hold of him and stunning him with several boots to the mouth, once in the middle of the ring LD locks Stank in a spinning toe hold, keeping the pressure on that leg and hamstring. Stank grunts in pain, but like Williams he ignores the referee’s requests for him to submit. Williams releases and reapplies the move several times, then releases it and hooks Stank in a figure four. Stank strains in pain, but no doing with the submissions. Stank strains to reverse the move, but Williams keeps him from turning it over. Stank collapses in pain and LD gets a quick two count before Stank sits back up and bellows like a wounded animal. Stank tries to pull Williams leg off of his, but Williams keeps the pressure on. Finally Stank uses a gargantuan effort and turns the hold over, reversing the pressure onto Williams leg! LD quickly releases the hold and uses the ropes to get to his feet.

He measures Stank and waits for him to get to his feet, then charges, but Stank catches him with a black hole slam and spirals him to the mat, but cannot make the cover. Stank rolls to the corner and grabs his leg and we can see him trying to get the feeling back in his lower extremity. Williams drags himself to the corner and grabs his back in pain. LD pulls himself up, and Stank charges into the corner, but LD side steps it at the last second and Stank slams into the corner shoulder first, often injured shoulder first. Stank staggers out of the corner and drops to his knees and grabs that shoulder, LD sees it immediately and grabs his arm and drives it to the mat with a knee. Stank refuses to stay though and fights to his feet and grabs Williams by the hair and repeatedly slams him in the face with head buts. The last one opens a small cut above Williams eye, which does nothing but enrage Williams, the two men go tow to toe trading punches that would drop a normal man. Stank gets the better of the exchange with a knee to the mid section then shoves Williams back into the corner and follows him with a forearm to the jaw. Stank climbs on the bottom rope and bites Williams on the forehead, drawing a little more blood, then hammering him with well placed fists until LD puts his arms up and tries to block the shots. Stank grabs Williams by the head and throws him into the cage, then keeps his head there and rakes it across the steel mesh. Stank grabs Williams and drops him between the steel mesh and the ropes, then gets a head of steam and avalanches Williams into he cage, slamming his face into the cage. Williams slumps to the mat and we see that Williams has been split wide open and is pouring blood. Stank drags Williams between the ropes to the middle of the ring and hauls him up in a back breaker and tries to get a submission. Stank may have got Williams to quit, but his knee buckled and he falls to the mat dropping Williams. Both men remain on the mat and the referee starts a ten count. LD pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, and Stank is also up on the opposite side of the ring.

Stank sees Williams and gets a running start, but LD moves out of the way and Stank goes face first into the steel. LD connects with a kick to the back of the head that bounces Stank’s head off the steel, then Williams grabs Stank’s injured shoulder and wraps it around the top rope and hammers away. Stank turns and hammers back on Williams, and this breaks down into a brawl. Both men take turns slamming the others head into the steel. Stank grabs LD and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head too soon and LD catches him with a boot to the face, then sends him into the steel, and now it is Stank’s turn to bleed. We are already past the 30 minute mark and both men are showing signs of exhaustion. LD grabs Stank and sets him up for a pile driver, but Stank back drops out of it. LD gets to his feet and bounds off the ropes and tries a cross body block, but Stank catches him and takes him to the corner and ties him in the tree of woe, connecting with several stomps to the face, then gets a running start and buries a knee into his mid section. Williams falls off the corner gasping for breath. Stank climbs to the middle ropes and bounces a few times, then lands a huge SPLASH across LD, driving all the wind from his body. The referee falls on the canvas, one, two, thre…NO!

Stank pulls Williams off the mat and sends him to the ropes and stops him cold with a boot to the gut, then hauls him up with a vertical suplex, holds him there for a long time, long enough for the blood to drip from Williams head and pool on the mat below, Stank then turns the move into a JACKHAMMER and drives Williams to the mat, but he does not go for a pin, instead he grabs LD by the arm and pulls him off the mat, right into a short arm clothesline that snaps Williams head back and sends him back to the canvas. Stank drops a big elbow across his chest and covers, one, two, NO! LD Williams kicks out again! Stank shows a mix of frustration and respect as he slowly gets to his feet and pulls LD off the mat again. This time he sets him up and hits a TRIPLE POWERBOMB!! Holy shit! This has to be it, Stank covers after the last one, one, two, thre….NO!! Williams gets his hand on the bottom rope! You have GOT to be shitting me!

Not Stank shows a little frustration, he grabs Williams by the back of the head and lays in some STIFF shots to the face before pulling him to his feet and lifting him into the corner. Stank sets LD on the top rope and starts to climb the turn buckle, but LD is not going to go easy, he fights the whole way and starts climbing the ropes himself. Soon both men are standing on the top rope trading shots. LD connects with an elbow to the mid section then slams Stank’s face into the cage. Williams repeatedly slams Stank’s face into the cage, but the big man will not let go, even though it appears that he is out on his feet. LD backs up the cage until he can pull himself up on the top of the cage, then slams the sole of his boot down on top of Stank’s head stunning him, then kicking him right in the face. That sends Stank off the ropes, slamming onto the mat hard in the middle of the ring. Stank’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he fights for breath. Meanwhile, LD sits on top of the cage, collecting himself and bleeding. LD looks around and slowly gets to his feet, standing on the top of the cage! What the hell? Has LD EVER come off the ropes? LD pauses for a second, then leaps and CONNECTS WITH A LEGDROP FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!!! Williams crashes down across Stank’s chest! The champ writhes in pain and coughs up blood, but Williams is not much better! He lands hard, and damages that lower back even more! Both men are down on the mat in varying degrees of pain. The crowd breaks into a broken English version of THIS IS AWESOME clap clap clapclapclap! Both men slowly get to their feet, we have passed the fifty minute mark now, and it shows. The two meet in the center of the ring and exchange shots to the head, but there is not a whole lot left behind either of them. Stank grabs Williams and slams him in the face with a head but that drops Williams to his knees, but Williams immediately responds with a shot to the jewels that doubles Stank over in pain. Williams makes his way to the corner and climbs to the top rope and waits for Stank to get to his feet. As he does, LD leaps for a cross body block, but Stank catches him and hefts him to his shoulders for the STANK-U but LD slips off his shoulders and lands behind Stank, spins him around, kicks him low and PLANTS him with a SPIKE DDT! LD DRIVES Stank’s head into the mat, twisting his neck violently, LD uses the last bit of strength he has left to roll Stank over, and drapes an arm across his chest, one, two, THREE!!!!
WINNER in 58:21 and NEW OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – LD WILLIAMS!!

Since the OOWF Arena is set up like TNA tonight (don’t ask why) Bennett’s troops come out from one side and Rick’s come from the other and slowly surround the ring. The referee hands LD Williams the title and raises his arm in victory. LD grabs the title and sinks to his knees in total elation. Stank gets to his feet and when LD stands back up spins him around and the two men lock eyes. After several tense seconds, Stank offers his hand to LD, LD shakes his hand and they shake a quick, manly embrace, Stank raises LD’s arm, then leaves the cage where Rick’s men console the former champ and they head to the top of the ramp. Bennett’s men fill the cage and hoist a blood soaked LD Williams on their shoulders in celebration. Once again from a luxury suite, a scowling Alexander Darling and the rest of the Undecideds look on as we fade to black.

Russ: WHAT A MATCH! HE DID IT! CONGRATULATIONS TO LD WILLIAMS!
Razz: I gotta say, even though I predicted it, wow, what a match!
Nash: The easy part is over now. Now, how long can he hold that title? They both have to be beyond exhausted and just physically drained after that match.
Russ: Folks that’s all the time we have tonight! Thank you for joining us at OOWF Blood on the Walls, be sure to tune in Wednesday night for MidWeek Mayhem, LIVE from Pyongsong, North Korea! For Nash and Razz, I am Russ, GOODNIGHT!

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF May Per View! Live 25th From Manilla, Philippines! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! April 30th from Pyongsong, North Korea!

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