OOWF Manilla Warfare PPV

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF Manilla Warfare PPV
Live! From Manilla, Philippines

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Outback Jack

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Donovan Viper vs. Carl From Fresno

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Gaelic Storm vs. The Midnight Sons

Best of Seven Series, Match 7: Series Tied 3-3[/u]
Chris Cole vs. Davin Moreland

Steel Cage Match[/u]
Stank & Concrete TG vs. Tyson Kincaid & Eric O'Mac

Sadistic Madness Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Poe

TLC Hell In The Cell[/u]
Bunny vs. The Knife

Firewoman & Amnesiac vs. The Dead & Blitz
Moosehead Jack vs. Capellan
Attitude Adjuster & The World's Greatest Fag Team vs. The Nerve Agent, Voltage & Firechild
Phantos & Lucios vs. IHOP
Tytan vs. Mark Vander

Card subject to coup

[mooseheadjack]

(The Amnesiac is standing outside the door to Firewoman's locker room. He knocks once.)

(Twice.)

(He waits a moment before knocking a third time. As he reaches for the door, it opens, and a very annoyed looking Firewoman leans her head out the door.)

FW: Who in the hell are you?

Amn: I'm the Amnesiac!

FW: So, you're here for the massage I ordered, then?

Amn: No, I'm your tag team partner this Sunday against The Dead and Blitz.

FW: That's you?

(She sighs visibly.)

FW: Okay, then. We need to talk. You can go.

(She's addressing the cameraman with that final comment. He suddenly turns and finds something else to film. Just before he turns, though, we see The Amnesiac turn sideways, and we can finally catch a glimpse of his t-shirt, which says "Out of the Frying Pan...", just as the camera fades to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

Poe stands in a small fishing canoe at night. Fog and mist are rising off the waters. Selena Gomez is sitting in the canoe in front of Poe as he stands over her.

Poe: "Lo! T’is a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.”

Poe: Hmm, the people here in Manila are in for quite a show aren’t they, Boy? Your fellow OOWF wrestlers will take to the ring, with hopes of glory and championships and yes, even revenge beating like a drum in their brains. But you and I…well, we’ll step into that ring with a different purpose altogether, won’t we?

Poe: You see, Alexander, you actually did me proud in Taipei. Posing as the Taipei Viper after I drove his carcass through a table, just to attack me from behind. Well, that was bloody brilliant wasn’t it? Bravo, Alexander Darling, Bravo. And as Viper, just as the Asp took the life of the fair Cleopatra, you strike without warning, with malice and hunger. I have taught you well.

Poe: But you see, Boy, you made one mistake. I got up. I was able to chase you, so we do this dance again. The spirits of the night, they dance around us as we prepare to do the dance of war Alexander. You have yet to see what I am truly capable of. You, raised in all of your poshness in Palm Beach, have no idea how I came into this world, in the slums of Cairo, and then on the streets of Baltimore. You would never have survived Boy. I have seen things you would never be able to stomach you spoiled little brat. And now…you will bleed like you have never bled before. You think breaking your nose however many times it’s been broken is bad? Well then, maybe I’ll just have to rip it off your face for good.

Poe: There will come a time, during this match, where you will be pulling yourself up, using my legs for support. The legs you attempted, and in one case, succeeded in shattering. You know what they say about bones…they grow back stronger than ever before. As you pull yourself up, bloody, you will be begging for mercy. I’ll look over at my moon goddess for a sign. What will you do, my dear?

Selena holds out her fist with the thumb out. She then turns it downwards.

Poe: My moon goddess has spoken. You will receive no mercy Boy. I will put you down for good here in Manila. Enjoy your time. Enjoy my precious Isis. She will be next. Until then…Namesdeh.

Selena: Nevermore.

OOC: Poem lyrics from "The Conqueror Worm" by Edger Allen Poe

[mooseheadjack]

(Stank is CUSSING! up one side and down the other, STILL furious at their loss as CTG walks in)

CTG: Stank, I ---

Stank: DON'T EVEN FUCKING SAY ONE FUCKING WORD! (Grabs Crete and slams him into the lockers) I don't know WHY THE FUCK I even bothered to listen to you! We're not playin this by YOUR stupid "Justice Code" or "Bullshido" or whatever you're gonna call it. We're in a Fucking CAGE, we're going to fucking FIGHT, you hear me?

CTG: (staring Stank square in the eye) I saw two more people get injured in this war, something DOES need to be done. Tone down your language, I brought video for us to study for the match against Kincaid and Eric

Stank: you got NOTHIN to help us in a cage match! I remember when you won a title in a cage. No fucking BLOOD, no fucking WEAPONS-

CTG: and YOU have a damn short memory

Stank: That so?

CTG: Put me down, Stank. You kicking my ass in here isn't going to help us.

Stank: (puts Crete down) so what'cha got that's gonna help us? They're not holding back, YOU will though

CTG: Will I? (Takes the DVD and puts it into a player in the locker room. The menu lists older matches from Crete's earlier run-ins with Moosehead Jack) Let's see how much you remember of these days, Stank, and what I CAN do when I'm placed in a war.

Stank: (curious, sits down and watches)

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback Jack is walking when SFJ 96 stops him*

SFJ: Outback Jack, you've got a shot at the World Title.

OBJ: That was smart booking.

SFJ: Because you think you deserve it?

OBJ: Because LD is the only member of Bennett's crew that I won't be tempted to deliberately put out of commission, after all the crap that went on at Mayhem. However, I do have extra motivation to take that belt away from him after what happened to Ecosystem.

SFJ: I didn't know you liked Ecosystem.

OBJ(drinks beer, belched): That's Australian for "When a man's general manager is "x-signed", he's supposed to do something about it. It doesn't make any difference what you thought of him. He was your GM and you're supposed to do something about it. And it happens we're in the wrestling business. Well, when one of your organization gets "X-signed", it's, it's bad business to let the injurer get away with it, bad all around, bad for every wrestler everywhere."

SFJ: Um, OK.

OBJ: Now, I know I can't scare LD off or intimidate him, but if I take that belt away from him that'll be payback.

SFJ: Speaking of belts, the Midnight Sons will be looking to take theirs back.

OBJ: That was one hell of a match at Mayhem. Every man in it should be proud. This weekend will be a real gutcheck for both teams, but I think the gold is coming back to the Sons.

SFJ: And what of Stank's chances to succeed with Concrete TG?

OBJ: Well, Crete's kind of an idiot, with his costumes and hero crap, but he's a damn good tag team wrestler. He more than held his own against Empty Team as well as The Team From Down Under. So I think their chances are better than people think.

[mooseheadjack]

<SFJ13 stops Moosehead Jack in the halls>

SFJ13: Moose, can I have a word with you?

MHJ: What

SFJ13: Well, despite defeating Capellan at MidWeek Mayhem, you have another match with him at the Manilla Warfare pay per view, why?

MHJ: I requested it

SFJ13: But, why would you do that?

MHJ: Well, Capellan is fond of thinking its just more of the same from Moosehead Jack. The same promos, the same match, the same philosophy. So I am giving Capellan the chance to do something about it. Cap, you seem to think that I am so predictable, yet, you lost. But it didn't even make a dent did it? You are the New York Mets of the OOWF. Win or lose, you just don't care. You collect your paycheck and head to the hotel. What the hell happened to you? When you were running with those other two idiots in wCw you were someone that was a legit threat in the ring. Now? You have become a joke.

SFJ13: Is this about him remaining neutral in the OOWF war? He has said that while he won't side with Rick, he would certainly never side with you either.

MHJ: See, right there, that says all you need to know about Capellan. The boy won't take a stand on anything. He doesn't understand what this is all about. This is about power. This is about control. This is about forcing your vision on others. This is about stepping up and taking a side and defending it. You know, I hate a lot of the guys on Rick's side. But in some regard I have to respect them. They took a stand for something they believed in. It may be the wrong decision, and it will ultimately cost them, but at least they took a stand.

SFJ13: Even Alexander Darling?

MHJ: No, not Alexander Darling

SFJ13: So, is this an attempt to get Capellan on Rick's side?

MHJ: Whatever happens happens. Him siding with Rick right now wouldn't make a damn bit of difference because he makes no difference. Capellan, again, you think this is more of the same? Then DO something about it. What does it say about you when you claim you know me, you know what I am going to do, and you still lose? This week, at Manilla Warfare, you are either going to bring something to that ring, or you will not walk out on your own. It may be more of the same, but it is damn sure the truth.

[mooseheadjack]

**Bunny is in his locker room, just kinda sitting there.**

Bunny: Ooh, cool. A T-L-C-H-I-A-C Match. That'll be fun.

**Beast busts through the wall, Knife by his side.**

Beast: There ya go, Knife.

Knife: I thank thee.

Bunny: You could've just used the door, dude.

Knife: Come this Sunday, you will...

Bunny: I know, I know. I'll pay for my sins and get shot with lightning from Zeus and all that stuff. I've heard it before.

Knife: You are an unintelligent waste of molecules, and you will...

Bunny: Sins, lightning, got it. There's the... ok, I guess the door isn't there. You can just leave through the hole.

**Knife shakes his head and says a quick prayer before leaving.**

Bunny: The fuck is with that guy? And now, I'll jet.

**Bunny dives through the hole in his wall and walks down the hallway. He crosses paths with Alexander Darling.**

Bunny: Alex!

Alexander: Go. Away. Bunny.

Bunny: So, I was thinking...

Alexander: Leave.

Bunny: No, wait. Just hear me out...

Alexander: I've heard enough of you.

Bunny: How would you like to have me, Bunny, in your little group?

Alexander: I wouldn't.

Bunny: Oh, well... Think about the others in your group. What would they think?

Alexander: We hate you.

Bunny: That's kind of...

Alexander: Everybody hates you. There's not one person around here that you get along with... And you're a face. It's pathetic. You're pathetic. Now get out of my way, or I'll ruin you.

Bunny: Yes, sir.

**Bunny steps to the side to leave room for Alexander Darling to walk. While passing by, Alexander shoves Bunny. Bunny keeps walking, and runs into Blitz.**

Bunny: Blitz!

Blitz: What's up?

Bunny: You could say we're friends, right?

Blitz: Not really.

Bunny: Fine...

**Bunny keeps walking and runs into the Nerve Agent.**

Nerve: Bunny!

Bunny: Christ, they didn't write you out yet?

Nerve: What?

Bunny: Fuck off.

**Bunny heads back to his room as we fade to black.**

[mooseheadjack]

(Firewoman and The Amnesiac are standing in the hall, discussing strategy, when SFJ#28 comes up and immediately begins asking questions.)

SFJ#28: Fireworm and Amnesiac, what do you think your chances are this Sunday against The Dead & Blitz?

(The Amnesiac goes to answer, but Firewoman interrupts him.)

FW: That all depends... does Muerte have a match this Sunday?

SFJ#28: I don't believe he does.

FW: Well then, I guess it'll take us a little more effort to get the job done, since The Dead won't have already taken a beating that night.

(The Amnesiac looks like he's about to speak, but Firewoman shoots him a look that just says 'Don't.' He closes his mouth.)

FW: What's important, though, is that we're gonna dismantle that team at the roots. They don't stand a chance against my talent and The Amnesiac's uh... what do you have again?

(She turns towards him, and looks at him questioningly. He becomes suddenly angry.)

Amn: OK, let's clear one thing up. I'm new around here. It's understandable that you don't fully respect my abilities here yet. But I've won more matches here than I've lost so far. So just back off, okay?

(Firewoman's eyes go wide. She death-glares at him for a moment, and then, when she realizes that he's not breaking, pats him on the shoulder in a sign of grudging respect.)

Amn: That's what I thought.

(Firewoman smirks.)

FW: Don't push your luck, kid. Let's just go out there on Sunday and take these bastards out.

(At this moment, Lucky and Monkh walk up together.)

Lucky: Anything we can get you guys?

Monkh: Yeah, you alright, boss?

FW: We're fine. We were just finished here with little miss 'I can hold a microphone'.

(SFJ#28 takes the hint, turns and walks away while the foursome continue to discuss.)

[mooseheadjack]

VIDEO::Crete climbs the ladder slowly, still unable to put a lot of weight on his leg. Crete gets to the very top of the ladder and pauses for a moment, then leaps DRIVING A BARBED WIRE WRAPPED ELBOW STRAIGHT INTO MOOSE’S HEART SENDING HIM CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE AND INTO THE WRECKAGE OF THE CAGE SIDE BENEATH THE TABLE!! Both men are out of it and the crowd goes nearly silent for a moment, then EXPLODES into a HOLY SHIT chant. Crete gets up first and pulls a groggy Moose to his feet, but Moose is not quite done yet, he stuns Crete with a heart punch and both men fall to the floor again. Moose crawls to the ring and reaches underneath and pulls out a board that appears to have fluorescent lights and C4 attached to it and slides it under the bottom rope. Moose grabs Crete by the hair and drags him to the apron and uses the last remaining strength he has to roll Crete into the ring. Moose sets Crete up for a pile driver that would send Crete face first into the glass and C4, but Crete blocks it, then with what HAS to be his last bit of strength, lifts Moose and PLANTS him with an Alabama Slam on the board! The glass shatters and the C4 goes off and Moose’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he rolls off the board onto the mat. Crete falls to the mat, clearly exhausted and the referee starts a ten count on both men. Crete gets up at seven, and Moose is starting to push himself off the mat, barely. Crete snarls and runs over and kicks Moose in the mouth, pulls him up and hits a running power bomb onto the side of the cage that collapses another side of the cage and sends Moose to the floor, Moose lands with a sickening thud and Crete falls back into a corner, unable to stand on his own, held up only by the ropes. The referee starts the ten count, and this time Moose cannot answer. The referee calls for the bell, and Crete falls to his knees on the mat, blood flowing off of his head.
WINNER in 29:12 – Concrete TG


Stank - ...

CTG - Should I play another one?

Stank - No.

CTG - So?

Stank - ... It's a start.

CTG - A START?

Stank - Look Crete, you've made your pitch. And if you're really ready to be the Concrete Takaken Gryfon you've shown me in these videos... it's a start.

CTG - You're unbelievable.

Stank - Hear me out. Your wars with Moose are legendary but THIS is a different animal altogether. We're not just fighting Moose... he's part of an ARMY now. You were at Mayhem. You saw how they play the game. It's like we're up against an army of Moosehead Jacks such is his influence. Sure Eric orchestrated this and Cole furthers it, but Moose... Moose is the one who gels it all together. His influence has extended beyond LD Williams. You saw what happened to Underdawg. You saw what happened to Canadian Dragon. Oh they THINK they embraced their darker sides under their own volition... but you and I know different don't we?

CTG - Indeed we do. He even got to you.

Stank - ... My dark side has always been there Crete. I embraced it long before I came to the OOWF.

CTG - But you came after me and my Guild. We were only fighting for what we thought was right.

Stank - And I and others thought different. I embraced my dark side because I know how to use it. I didn't care about the fans or what they might think. I didn't care about what my friends and colleagues thought. The goal was to take you and yours down.

CTG - But why? I had no issue with you.

Stank - Because you were a hypocrite Crete. You fought for justice and betrayed it by having Glaw in your pocket.

CTG - HE did THAT on his OWN!

Stank - You STILL believe that? You trying to tell me YOU weren't aware of the... impropriety of your relationship?

CTG - I... The OOWF was in chaos. Justice... well I...

Stank - ... by ANY means necessary, huh?

CTG - ... I was ashamed of Glaw's actions.

Stank - But what did you do about it?

CTG - ...

Stank - Look, bygones OK? My point wasn't to shame you or admonish you. My point is we BOTH went beyond what we were comfortable doing in order to achieve what we thought was right. I've fought with Moose and worked with Moose. I know just how far he and his are willing to go. WE HAVE to be willing to go FARTHER. That's why I organized that little bumrush of ours a month or so back. But THEY didn't get the message. They continue to push. I told Bennett he would pay. I don't make idle threats. THIS is what we have to do. We're in a cage with Eric O'Mac and a loudmouth, punk ass, rookie who doesn't know his place. I admire ambition, but not at my expense. Kincaid ain't getting any more rub from me. The only thing he's getting is my contempt and that Aston Martin rental shoved up his ass. As for Eric... the man behind the man... We need to show him the error of his ways. He brought that asshole Bennett back to this fed to it's detriment. Look at us. Look at the OOWF. You thought we were in chaos before?

CTG - I see the wisdom in your words.

Stank - Crete you need to embrace your dark side. Use it.

CTG - You sound like Moose. I will NEVER embrace EVIL in order to achieve good.

Stank - I didn't say embrace evil. I said embrace your dark side. There's a difference. And at the risk of sounding anymore like master Yoda, the first thing you need to learn is that good and evil has got fuck all to do with this war.

CTG - Clearly Bennett's Army is ev-

Stank - Look, there's no philosophical debate here. You wanted me to expand my vision. Expand yours. We've got a VITAL member of Bennett's army in a STEEL CAGE. Do what we HAVE to do to WIN... cause you DAMN sure know they WILL. It's NOT good or evil. It's WAR. I'm going to go in there and fuck them up! If you plan on doing anything less... then you're useless to me. The Guild versus Drink and Destroy was NOTHING compared to this.

CTG - ... You've giving me much to think about.

Stank - While you're thinking about it, let's go see Rick. It's past time we turn up the heat.

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in to the hospital wing of the palatial IHOP lockerroom. SYB and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are both pacing nervously, while a familiar doctor hovers over the prone figure of Skurge. The doctor turns to address SYB and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth…

DM: How is he, Dr. Rumack?
DR: He’s showing signs of anemia (light headedness, shortness of breath, tachycardia, etc.), as well as other general symptoms such as fever, chills, nausea and flu-like illness. Also, headache, sweats, fatigue, dry (nonproductive) cough, muscle and/or back pain, and an enlarged spleen. You’d better tell someone he’s no good to compete at Manilla Warfare, live from Manilla, Philippines. This man has to be gotten to a hospital.
DM: A hospital? What is it?
DR: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now. Skurge is showing all of the classic symptoms of malaria.
SYB: Malaria? No way.
DR: Indeed. Go ahead and check Wikipedia – that’s where I got most of my information.
SYB: Surely, you can’t be serious! No one trusts Wikipedia.
DR: I am serious, and I also used WebMD.
SYB: …
DM: …
DR: *sigh*…And don’t call me Shirley.
SYB: Much better.
DR: When did the symptoms start?
SYB: Well, he’s been complaining about feeling sick for a couple of weeks now, but we didn’t think anything of it – we’ve all been feeling sick since we won that title match a couple of weeks ago, but didn’t win the titles. It got worse when we didn’t get a rematch for the titles last week, then even worse when we won again but didn’t get a title shot at Manilla Warfare, live from Manilla, Phillipines.
DR: Yes, I can see how you’d miss the diagnosis. The symptoms of malaria and being overlooked are quite similar. In any event, now that we know what’s wrong with Skurge, I think we should get him to a hospital.
DM: Doctor, do you think you could just treat him here? I worry that moving him might put him at even greater risk.
DR: Hmmm, there was nothing about that on the Web, but I guess there wouldn’t be any problem with staying here. Why the preference?
DM: Well, I have to find a replacement partner for Solly for Manilla Warfare, live from Manilla, Phillipines, and I don’t want to be too far away from Skurge while he’s this close to death…hmmm…
SYB: Dear Jehovah, you’re sexy when you’re thinking.
DM: Shut up, asshole. I just had a thought about a partner for you. Stay here with the doctor, and do whatever you can to help. Find me if Skurge gets any worse.
SYB: I don’t think he can get any worse – last time he was conscious, he didn’t want a beer.
DR: It’s even more serious than I thought. Why didn’t you tell me that from the start?

*Dr. Rumack begins tending to Skurge again, with SYB close by, just waiting to help. Meanwhile, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth has left the palatial IHOP lockerroom in search of, well, she didn’t say, so I guess we’ll just have to wait…

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

In the Fortress Of Snobbery

DV- You are insane, Ryan.

RH (in a strained voice)- Shit yeah, we got those fuckers good.

Ryan coughs up blood

RH- Oh that's not good.

DV- Wait...I thought you were faking.

RH- Well...I was exaggerating...no worries though. I'll be fine for the PPV.

FFM- You're fuckin' Hardcore.

DV- RYAN HARDCORE!!!

RH- That was lame...and AWESOME!!!

He coughs up more blood.

RH- Okay...maybe we better swing by the hospital.

LP- Want me to blow you instead?

RH- Oh yeah! That's a much better idea.

DV- So hey, are you and Adjuster gonna be able to coexist?

FFM- Why the fuck not? Shit, why does everyone think this Bennett thing isn't gonna work? We have several people united under one idea: taking over the OOWF. Then we can all kick each other's asses. I think everyone understands that. In fact...JEEVES!

Lance- Yes sir.

FFM- Send out those invitations to LD Williams, Chris Cole, Eric O'Mac, Moosehead Jack, Attitude Adjuster, Tyson Kincaid, The Dead, SYB and Skurge. And of course, Mr. Bennett.

Lance- I'll get right on that, sir.

Lance sends out this invite to the members of Team Bennett

TO ALL MEMBERS OF TEAM BENNETT,
YOU ALL ALL MOST CORDIALLY INVITED
TO THE MOBILE FORTRESS OF SNOBBERY
FOR A TEAM BENNETT MIXER.
WITH SPECIAL GUEST
HOLLYWOOD'S BILLY ZABKA!
COME TONIGHT FOR FOOD, DRINKS AND GOOD TIMES!

AND HOLLYWOOD'S BILLY ZABKA!!!

[/b][/quote]

FFM- Awesome. Everyone's gonna show up for this.

[mooseheadjack]

*Inside the Run DEA Luxury Penthouse Apartments*

A few of the members of Run DEA are sitting around relaxing and watching some OOWF TV when F. Fonzworth MacCappington's party invitation appears on screen.
Alexander Darling: Hey are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?

Phantos: I think so Alex, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?

The people in the room just turn and all look at Phantos...first in complete befuddlement by what he said, then everyone seems happy that Phantos may be feeling like his old self, but it turns to disappointment rather quickly as Phantos just shakes his head and heads off to his own room of the penthouse.

Davin Moreland: Damn, he's gotta snap out of it. Bennett and those fucks could pick him off so easy right now.

Alexander: Don't worry about Phantos...he'll get over this. He just needs to hear the right words. And no they won't come from anyone who's ever been associated with M*A*S*H*. God how can people watch that crap.

Davin: I don't really care, but you said you were thinking something...

Alexander: Oh yea...how would you feel about crashing a party? And I do mean CRASHING...

Davin: What do ya have in mind?

Alexander is about to tell Davin his plan when he notices the ninja cameraman get closer...

Alexander: Hey Carl...I just noticed this cameraman has a coupon for an All-You-Can-Eat Sizzler Buffet.

Carl's eyes light up and he starts chasing the ninja cameraman around the room all the while yelling, "WE GOIN' TO SIZZLER...WE GOIN' TO SIZZLER."

And this provides Alexander and Davin the perfect opportunity to conspire about their plan.

*Fade to Sizzler commercial*

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose and Bennett are sitting in Bennett's office watching OOWFtv and discussing business when they see Darling's promo>

LJB: Is he really that stupid?

MHJ: Him? Yes

LJB: They really think we should take that whole "crash a party" bit with a grain of salt?

MHJ: Well, we certainly can't no sell it, that would be rude. So, I guess if they DO show up, we should at least act surprised

<kayfabe runs into the room and hugs Moose tightly, then turns and leaves the room, wiping a tear from her eye>

LJB: Nevertheless, maybe we should tell everyone that this is not only a Bennett's Army Mixer, and a chance to meet Billy Zabka, but it is also a weapons party. Bring your own weapon. I think that stays with the spirit of things

MHJ: I'll let them know.

LJB: So, what did you think about that Poe character?

MHJ: I think he is one mean, sadistic sonofabitch

LJB: So, Bennett material?

MHJ: Without question.

LJB: Let's send out some feelers and gauge his interest

MHJ: What about the other new guy, Tytan?

LJB: I have had some dealings with the company that represents him in the past. He is an astounding physical specimen, but his price won't be cheap

MHJ: Still could be worth it though, no?

LJB: I would say so. Let's keep an eye on him

MHJ: What about Blitz? He seems to have stepped up his game lately

LJB: Wouldn't that be a bit of a conflict of interests with Dead? I know Dead wants that Onslaught Championship

MHJ: As well he should. Whats more important right now is getting that title into the Bennett camp. I have no doubt whatsoever that Dead can get the job done, but it never hurts to have a dual threat to the title either. Beside, if one were to win it, I am sure they would give the other a match

LJB: Very true. And it would thin that irritating Undecided rank a little bit. Lets contact him and see what he thinks

[mooseheadjack]

In The Fortress Of Snobbery at the Team Bennett Mixer

FFM- Hey LD! How ya doin' champ?

LDW- Pretty good. Y'know...I'm the champion and whatnot. That's always fun.

FFM- Is your lovely mother here?

LDW- Not yet. She'll be along shortly I'm sure.

FFM- Hey! Viper's here! You guys can do the *clink*!

EOM- Oh yeah, you gotta! Its awesome!

LDW & DV- *clink*

FFM- Isn't that fun!?

DV- Actually...it really is...

LDW- Wow...it really really is!

FFM- Dead! Hey, great win on Wednesday, man!

TD- The Dead really enjoyed winning that match.

FFM- F. Fonzworth MacCappington III enjoyed it too! When's Moose showin' up?

LDW- Why? You gonna shoot him again?

FFM- Why would I do that? We're on the same team. What kind of a dick would I be to turn on my teammates?

DV- Alexander Darling?

FFM- Word. Hey everybody! I just got a text! Zabka's gonna be here in 20 minutes!

Everyone- WOOHOO!!!

[mooseheadjack]

And now a word from our sponsers....

(The screen first turns Green and Ultimo Inc. appears with the Words The Future of Wrestling underneath it. After a few seconds there is a cross fade to Dr. Podvod with Tytan training in the background against two wrestlers.

Dr: OOWF you have now seen the debut of Tytan, he is what incredible specimen. Now, we have Manila Warfare and Mr. Vander. Are you shaking in your boots yet? Have the sleepless nights started after you saw Tytan half nelson slam that piece of trash off the turnbuckle. You think you have seen all of Tytan think again. He as only begun to hurt people. Which leads me to my next task at hand.

It seems there is a war going on in the OOWF. We want to offer our services...that is for a price. Watch Tytan for the next couple of weeks as he plows through the competition. Then make an offer, if we accept. That is if Mr. Steel accepts then you have the services of Tytan and all of what Ultimo Inc. has to offer.

Think about it. We will be waiting.

(Fade out.)

Now back to your regular scheduled program..

[mooseheadjack]

[The Dead leans over to MacCappington.]

Dead: You think The Dead can get Zabka's autograph?

[mooseheadjack]

FFM: So are you ready for your match on Sunday?

DV: Oh, I've been meaning to ask you about that. This guy Carl, he's from Fresno. You're from Fresno.

FFM: WAS from Fresno. I'm from Pacific Heights now.

DV: Still, you guys still grew up in the same little shit town.

FFM: Fresno's a small city, not a little shit town.

DV: Yeah, yeah. But still you must have some insight on this guy, being from the same village and all.

FFM: Not any more than you do Donnie.

DV: Dude, I don't know anything about him.

FFM: Do a board search, man!

DV: A what?

FFM: Donnie, what's the deal with you not knowing who these people are?

DV: I don't pay attention to the newbies, you know that! It's part of my gimmick, because I'm an asshole.

FFM: But Carl ISN'T a newbie. He was a jobber from way back, and he won the jobbers battle royal!

DV: I'm facing a jobber on PPV?

FFM: Yes! And he's also homeless.

DV: Well, shit, what am I worried about?

FFM: Exactly!

DV: Goes to show that I'm on the right side. Alexander Darling whining about not getting a title shot is just going over Erlana's head. Ha!

FFM: Yup yup. So did you bring your weapon?

DV (Holds up chain): Hello! I always have my weapon on me.

FFM: Of course.

DV: What the hell is that?

FFM: It's a geunine 14th century HALBERD!

DV: Where'd you get that?

FFM: Renaissance Faire.

DV: Well, I suppose it makes this chain seem rather out of place.

FFM: Yeah, it does. Look over at The Dead. He has a SCYTHE!

DV: Go figure. Ok, hold on... (ties a stick to one end of the chain, and a spike to the other). A MORNING STAR!

FFM: That's the ticket. Now about you, Ryan... Where's your weapon?

RH: What are you talking about? I have it right here.

DV: That's a dildo!

RH: Yeah, but it's made of STEEL!

FFM: Didn't you just use that on Lauren's asshole an hour ago?

RH: Not on. IN. Haven't washed it, either.

DV: I'd say that constitutes as a weapon, then.

[mooseheadjack]

AA walks into the Fortress of Snobbery.

FFM: AA, you're running late, but I'm still glad to see you here. I love you, man! Wait, you're not going to swerve me, are you? Like the last time?

AA: You mean the last two times? Nah, this time I'm on the up-and-up. They hurt Johnny. It's personal now.

FFM: How is Johnny, anyway?

AA: He's doing good. I just got back from the hospital. Monkeys in the Fortress Dungeon, roll my footage!

FFM: How did you get monkeys in my Fortress of Snobbery Dungeon? I didn't even know I had a dungeon.

AA: Just watch the footage.

(Johnny, still wrapped in many bandages and attached to many tubes, slowly lifts his arm and gives a thumbs up.)

FFM: He's a trooper, AA.

AA: Hey, he's better than The Trooper. The Trooper was a lousy tag team partner, even if he did hold the AWA tag team titles with DJ Peterson.

FFM, rather than arguing with AA, walks off.

AA: Hey, Ryan Hardcore, tag team buddy! Watcha doing? Hey, are you working on The Claw on that hot chick? I'll show you how to use The Claw!

[mooseheadjack]

OOC: This is set BEFORE the mixer.

*Fade in*

*We open to see "The Riot Act" Tyson Kincaid and "Mr. Suspension" Eric O'Mac (its a work in progress) walking into Mr. Bennett's office. Moose sits at the table as well.*

LJB: Eric, Mr. Kincaid, come in. I've been expecting you.

Eric: Thanks boss, but this won't take but a minute.

LJB: OK, go ahead.

Eric: Well, I know some people out here outside of Manilla, and I've been able to secure to hotel suites at a 5 star hotel.

LJB: That sounds nice, but the OOWF has already set up OOWF superstars room and board situations. Besides, we won't be able to afford the hotel you are referring to.

Eric: I realize that, Mr. Bennett, and I do appreciate you setting us up with room and board, but you won't have to pay for this. It'll come out of my pocket. My dad sent me some money and honestly, I think I would be much better prepared for my match this weekend if I got away from the arena.

LJB: Will Mr. Kincaid be staying at this same hotel?

Eric: Yes, I've set up a suite for him as well. The only thing I ask is that no other superstars be allowed to do this. It may break my concentration.

LJB: Normally, I would not allow this, but you have been a model employee. You will be allowed to stay there for the weekend and you can rejoin the OOWF tour at the pay per view.

Eric: Thank you, Mr. Bennett.

Moose: Are you going to FFM's mixer tonight?

Kincaid: Of course!

Eric: Any reason why we wouldn't?

Moose: That pain in the ass you use to call your best friend is planning to crash the party.

Eric: Carl Coolname?

Moose: No, Alexander Darling and Davin Moreland.

Eric: Oh. We'll take care of that.

Kincaid: We will?

Eric: Damn straight. As a matter of fact...Moose, we'll see you and Mr. Bennett at the party?

Moose: We'll see.

Eric: OK. Thanks again Mr. Bennett.

LJB: Anytime.

*Fade to black.*

*Fade back in.*

*We open to see Eric standing outside a door marked "[insert where ever the fuck Run DEA stays now]".*

Eric: OK, before we barge in, are we SURE that this is THE "[insert where ever the fuck Run DEA stays now]?

Kincaid: I hope so. I asked Dead to barge into every locker room to make sure.

Eric: So, this is it.

Kincaid: Yes.

Eric: Any security we need to worry about?

Kincaid: None.

Eric: OK, let's go in.

*Eric turns the doorknob....no, it doesn't turn.*

Kincaid: Seems to be locked.

Eric: Thanks pal, I can see that. Hand me that.

*Kincaid hands Eric....A SLEDGEHAMMER (w/ signature)? Eric pounds the door open with the sledgehammer and him and Kincaid walk in on Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling. They are only members left in the suite*

Alexander: Get the fuck out, fuckers!

Eric: Did we interrupt something, jackass? Tyson, go get him.

*Kincaid rushes at Alexander Darling and catches him with a left hook. While Darling and Kincaid are brawling, Moreland stands up and him and Eric circle each other.*

Eric: You've been a pain in my ass for longer than I can remember.

Davin: Yeah, right back at you.

Eric: Is that another Bostonian trait?

*Eric rushes at Davin, but before he can get to Davin, Davin, all of a sudden, goes down to one knee. The camera catches the sight of someone standing behind Davin....it's Chris Cole! The main event is armed with a steel chair, and he is really going to town on Davin. On the other side of the room, Kincaid and Darling seem to be matched up evenly until Eric waltzes over there and grabs Darling from behind. Holding Darling's arms, Kincaid picks up the sledgehammer and hits Darling sqaure in the temple. Darling, unlike his friend in the room, is knocked out by one shot.*

Kincaid: Payback's a bitch.

Eric: A booyah, bitch. Or something. Let this be a lesson to you...you want a sledgehammer so bad? You can have this one. Home Depot made more than the one, you know.

*Walking over there to Cole, who has beaten down Davin to the point where Davin is almost laid out, Eric takes the sledgehammer, and hits Davin in the head. Davin, too, is knocked out.*

Eric: THAT'S how you are suppose to sell a sledgehammer shot, jackass. Next time you want to crash a party? Don't tell the entire world about it. Let's go, guys.

*Cole, Eric, and Kincaid leave Darling and Moreland knocked out in the "[insert where ever the fuck Run DEA stays now.]. After they leave, Eric stops the group.*

Eric: Wait...did we check to make sure they were the REAL Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling? I mean, I don't want to see them on TV laughing about how they hired to guys who are the exact height and weight as they are and they are wearing realistic masks?

Kincaid: Do you think they would do that?

Eric: I wouldn't put it past them. This is the man who switched DOORs one time.

*Eric walks back into the room, grabs the face of Alexander Darling and, finding out there is no mask, leaves him be.*

Kincaid: Aren't you going to check Davin, too?

Eric: Nah. I EXPECT some kind of bullshit excuse from him.

*Eric, Kincaid, and Cole leave. Fade out.*

*Fade in.*

Eric: And then I said...JABRONI!

*FFM, Kincaid, and Donovan Viper are seen laughing at the mixer and we fade to black for real this time.*

[mooseheadjack]

SYB looks at a vending machine with a confused expression on his face.

SYB: There’s nothing here I can eat…PORK RINDS? Shirley, you can’t be serious??

SYB looks around.

SYB: I use that joke too much…

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Selena Gomez approaching him. She really looks out of place all gothed up in a hospital. Her long, black, hooded cloak bellows behind her as she walks. She stops in front of SYB and looks up at him. She is quiet for a moment before she speaks.

SG: What would Brian Boitano do, if he were here right now? He would kick an ass or two, that’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

Selena cloes her eyes and walks past SYB. SYB watches her walk past with an even more confused look on his face, and then turns into a silly grin.

SYB: I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship…or did she just threaten me?

SYB then looks back at the vending machine.

SYB: PORK RINDS???

[mooseheadjack]

TO ALL MEMBERS OF TEAM RICK,
YOU ARE ALL MOST CORDIALLY INVITED
TO THE DESTROYITARIUM
FOR A TEAM RICK MIXER.
WITH SPECIAL GUEST
HOLLYWOOD'S MICHAEL WINSLOW!
COME TONIGHT FOR FOOD, DRINKS AND GOOD TIMES!

AND

HOLLYWOOD'S MICHAEL WINSLOW!!!

Stank - ...

CTG - ...

Stank - THIS is your idea for turning up the heat?

GMtR - HEY if THEY can throw a mixer, WE can too! AND with a WAAAY COOLER guest celebrity to boot!

Stank - I'm gonna boot YOU.

CTG - Stank.

Stank - NO! He wants to throw a fucking MIXER?!? Where the FUCK did you get an idea like THAT?

GMtR - Didn't you hear me? Bennett is having a mixer at the Fortress of Snobbery!

Stank - I don't care.

GMtR - AND they suckered Billy Zabka into attending!

Stank - Who?

CTG - OH. MY. GOD! BILLY ZABKA!?! THE Billy ZABKA??

Stank - Who?

CTG - He played ONLY the GREATEST VILLAIN EVER portrayed on THE BIG SCREEN! KARATE KID... DON'T tell me YOU haven't seen The KARATE KID?

Stank - I'm surrounded... by idiots.

GMtR - Well WE got Michael Winslow.

CTG - ...

GMtR - C'MON! He's like A THOUSAND TIMES better than Billy Zabka! He does his own SOUND EFFECTS!

Stank - Like beatboxing?

GMtR - THE GUY FROM POLICE ACADEMY YOU MORON! I will FIRE you if you tell me YOU haven't seen POLICE ACADEMY!

Stank - I've seen all four.

GMtR - There were seven.

Stank - ... I'm NOT HAVING a stupid ASS mixer at the Destroyitarium.

GMtR - Oh come on, man! Where do you suggest we have it? Here? There's not enough space!

CTG - Stank perhaps we can use this opportunity to address our compatriots and build some team unity.

Stank - I... oh fuck it, FINE! Send out the invite. Does Michael Winslow know he's coming to the mixer or did you just print that to try and one up Bennett?

GMtR - Of course he knows... he's here already.

Stank - What?

GMtR - Yeah you thought that was someone vacuuming in the next room, didn't you?

MW - CWZZZZOOOOOO CWZZZOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOMMM

Stank - Oh joy.

MW - BLUGH BLUHG BAAAADDOOOWW BOO BOO BOO BOOP AWOOOOGA AWOOOOGA

Stank - ... I'm not even going to ask.

[mooseheadjack]

The screen goes to black and a Voice over than sounds eerily similar to the moviephone guy begins to speak...

VO: In the beginning there was one power. (This is accompanied by image of GM The Rick drinking various Whiskeys in his office.

VO: But as always there are those who covet power for themselves (Images of Eric O'Mac scheming in the background.)

VO: Soon a new power would arise (Scenes of Bennet making alliances)

VO: Battles where fought, Sides where chosen, and Chaos reigned. (Images of the past six months showing beatdowns, battles and betrayals flash past.)

VO: Now has the true mastermind behind this madness truly made himself known?

As this last line is spoken, the lights come up in an abandoned supply warehouse showing the profile of a familiar Mohawk haired warrior.

JS: (turns towards camera) For too long have I watched as this battle has raged between Bentley and The Rock, and only now have I decided that the competition is at it's fiercest and ready for the return of the only undefeated wrestler ever to grace the OOWF. This is a new age for all involved, even though I am no longer the OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal World Intercontinental Onslaught Tag Triple Threat King of the Mountain Ring Royal Knockout Champion, I'm still the unstoppable wrestling machine. I'm back and the OOWF is on notice, So remember

If your not with us, your Justin Sane, I mean your near Justin Sane, I mean you know Justin Sane. Drats Phil what do I mean. (Justin turns to look for Phil only to realize he is alone)

JS: Phil? Where'd you go? I could have sworn you where right behind me?

Justin spins around a little too quickly, losing his balance, he stumbles forward slamming his head into the camera. As he recoils from the blow he falls backwards into a shelf of supplies Causing a majority of them to rain down upon him. As Justin lies stunned on the floor, a mop falls over across his chest, and an OOWF ref slides in from nowhere to make a 3 count and declare the mop the victor.

As the camera once more fades to black we can hear the ref whisper

Ref: Welcome back Justin, welcome back.

[mooseheadjack]

Capellan is checking out of hospital (again) when he is approached by SFJ#13.

"Capellan, have you heard Moosehead Jack's comments about your match?"

"No, but I bet I know what he said. Something about leaving me bloody, and doing it again this weekend, right?"

"Actually, he talked about how this was all payback for you not choosing sides in the war with Rick."

"What?"

"you haven't chosen sides -"

Cap looks surprised. "Does everyone around here have wax in their ears? I've said twice that I'm on Rick's side in this thing. I don't like Rick - he's a jackass, and so is Davin Moreland, in all honesty - but Bennett's hanging with Moose, and that means I'm lining up against him."

"Oh." SFJ#13 looks flumoxed. "Uh ... do you think that will make any difference to your match at Manilla Warfare?"

"Nope. I'm still going to pin him."

"You seem very confident for a man who was coughing blood last night."

"Pfeh." Cap waves off the comment. "I took a beating from Underdawg, back when that still meant something. Moose has a long way to go before he can measure up to that."

[mooseheadjack]

Stank's cellphone rings

S- Hello?

FFM- Yo! Its me MacCappington.

S- Hey FF, what's going on?

FFM- Nothing much. Just calling to let you know that Zabka has just arrived and no fucking WAY will he be outdrawn by stupid Michael Winslow!

S- That wasn't my id...

FFM- Whatever! Just letting you know that my party is gonna be better than yours. You can come over to the cool party if you want.

S- I don't really want to go to my party actually.

FFM- We got Zabka, baby!

MW- BRRRRING! NEE ner ner JER JER! MmmmmmmmmYOW!!!

S- Does he do sound effects?

FFM- Not a damn one.

S- I might have to come over there for a bit.

MW- ZZZZZZZYOOOOOOOOOM!!!

[mooseheadjack]

**Bunny is kind of just walking through the halls. He sees the scene with Justin Sane and squeals in excitement.**

Bunny: I love that guy!

Alexander Darling: you suck and are banned.

Bunny: What!?

Alex: Baggett?

Bunny: Yes, please.

Alex: Too bad, fucknarc.

**Alexander slaps Bunny across the face with the baggett, then leaves to take care of more important bussiness.**

Bunny: I quit, wahh!!