OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 05-28-08

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Kokopo, Papua New Guinea

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Outback Jack

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Donovan Viper vs. Concrete TG

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Gaelic Storm vs. The Midnight Sons

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Firewoman vs. Blitz

Eric O'Mac vs. Stank
Moosehead Jack & The Dead vs. Capellan & Amnesiac
Phantos, Lucios & Alexander Darling vs. IHOP & Poe
Davin Moreland & Carl From Fresno vs. The Nerve Agent & Volt vs. The Worlds Greatest Fag Team
Chris Cole vs. Mark Vander
Tyson Kincaid vs. Firechild vs. Tytan
Attitude Adjuster vs. Bunny vs. Knife
Justin Sane vs. TBA

Card subject to change. Why? Go fuck yourself thats why!

[mooseheadjack]

...after his match with Mr. Vander we goto the Ultimo Inc. locker room in it Tytan sits alone he is covered with sweat after his victory and looks like he is ready for another fight.

(Tytan grabs a towel and wipes his face and then stares into the camera as Ninja cameraman carefully pushes inward as he notices that no one is here to speak for Tytan.)

Tytan: Maybe the GM is testing me. Maybe they are starting to notice Ultimo Inc. and the work of Mr. Steel and Dr. Podvod. But most importantly the OOWF is starting to take notice of the "Wrestling Prototype for the 21st Century". They are finally noticing that Tytan is coming up fast on the horizon.

So now you want to put me in a triple threat match against Firechild and Tyson Kincaid. I watched your match Firechild and I saw that you got your ass handed to you in a beat down by the WGFT. If that is what they did to you think of what I am going to do when I get my hands on you. Two beat downs in less then a week, your fire will be going out real soon.

Now, you Kincaid. You also lost your match and I see that you can get a little pissed off. Handcuffs! Come on, you call yourself a fighter is that the only way you are able to get the advantage? All I got to say to you punk is bring your handcuffs, your chains, your damn brass knuckles when you step in the ring with me because you are going to need it. Hell if you want bring your whole damn army I don't care because I will give you the Ultimo experience.

(Stands up and heads to the camera, Ninja cameraman quickly backs up because he remembers what happened to the last cameraman that got Tytan on video.)

And both you Kindcaid and you Firechild will both Crash and Burn, because I am Tytan and you need to fear me.

(Mr. Steel and Dr. Podvod then enter the locker room.)

Dr. Podvod: Good match tonight Tytan you tore him to pieces.

Mr. Steel: That's it now keep the streak going in making your opponents bleed.

(Steel notices the cameraman and smiles.)

Mr Steel: (To the camera) That's right another successful test for Tytan and Ultimo Inc. Tune in Wednesday as Tytan keeps the bodies piling up. Now, let's go head back to the ship and celebrate.

(The three start to head for the door when Mr. Steel stops and turns to the camera man as he reaches in to his suit jacket and pulls out a green shirt. He then tosses it to the Ninja Camera man.)

Mr. Steel :Here have a shirt, take it and wear it with pride because the Future of Wrestling is Ultimo Inc.

(The three walk out and close the locker room door as the camera fades to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

We fade into a sunny day in Bootless Bay, Papa New Guinea, near the capital city of Port Moresby. The sun gleams off the hood of a black Aston Martin as it speeds down a finely groomed secluded dirt road towards a small fishing wharf in the looming distance. The camera changes perspective to the familiar “backseat cam” as Tyson Kincaid and Eric O’Mac converse in the front while Queens Of The Stone Age’s self-titled debut record plays through the 700 W sound system.

EOM: Where the hell are you taking us, Kincaid?

TK: A nice secluded island where we can unwind and re-focus.

EOM: Our place in Manila was a secluded island and look at how that turned out.

TK: Yeah, but do you really think that Stank and Crete are in any condition to hunt us down after Sunday? They may have won, but I can guarantee you that they don’t feel like it.

EOM: You’re right. But this isn’t over between us. We’ll both get payback on Crete and his new Super Friend. Speaking of which, I’ve got Stank to worry about this week.

TK: And I’ve got Firechild and “Totally Not Drago” to contend with…OK, we’re here.

The DB9 pulls to a stop at the small wharf and EOM exits the passenger seat, while Kincaid pops the trunk and then exits himself. Both men grab a gym bag and a large piece of luggage and head towards the boat.



EOM: [pointing back towards the DB9] So this car really isn’t a rental?

TK: No, of course not. When I first made it big in wrestling, I bought the two material possessions that I’ve always dreamed of since I was a little kid: an Aston Martin and a small beach villa in Port Antonio on Jamaica’s north coast. And Mr. Bennett seems to like me enough that he offered to transport the car wherever I went as long as I was on his side.

EOM: So that was what you did with your first paycheck? You didn’t spend it on family? Or friends?

Kincaid ignores the question as EOM looks at Kincaid, realizing that he touched a nerve.

EOM: Change of topic. It looks we have company.

Kincaid looks around and realizes that both men are being surrounded by several curious indigenous islanders.

TK: [indicating with his head] Hey, Eric, have you wondered what Firewoman looks like topless?

Eric looks in the direction that Kincaid specified.

EOM: Dude! Not cool! You just ruined a perfectly good fantasy.

TK: Sorry. And on a completely unrelated note, I think we need to discuss alternate sleeping arrangements.

They finally reach the boat and both shake hands with a local fisherman, keeping their gaze pointed towards the ground, as is the custom. They board the small 20 ft. fishing boat and sit in the stern as the fisherman starts the dual outboard motors and takes the boat underway towards a miniature-looking island on the horizon.

TK: I hope you don’t get seasick.

The camera fades

[mooseheadjack]

The camera fades back into the scene after some time has elapsed. Kincaid and EOM are disembarking onto an exotic island filled with several small raised bungalows. They are greeted by a local woman, small in stature, wearing a sleeveless white shirt, cutoff khaki pants and straw sandals.

Woman: Mr. Kincaid, Mr. O’Mac, welcome to Loloata Island Resort. We hope you enjoy your stay. Your accommodations are the first two bungalows on the left. Dial 7 for room service. Mr. Kincaid, I know you said that you were interested in the island’s wildlife. You will find many different species ranging from wallabies to peacocks. Also, you can use our complimentary scuba gear and enjoy some of the rare marine life we have in our waters.

TK: That sounds perfect.

Eric. Yes it does. Kincaid, you’re handling the travel arrangements from now on.



Fade

[mooseheadjack]

And now a word from the founder and CEO of Ultimo Inc. Mr. Johnathan Steel....

(The Camera comes up on Mr. steel as he sits behind his desk in his office on the Super Yacht. Ultimo Inc. mobile training facility.)



Mr. Steel : So Mr. Kincaid you want to take my warrior, my Tytan lightly. You got guts, I like that about you. That's why I'm going to hate having Tytan beat you to a bloody pulp. But maybe after that we could do some business together. I think you would like the things that Ultimo Inc. would have to offer you. Chains...Ultimo Inc. has the strongest and best chains you need to draw blood on your opponent. Maybe I will send you one...(laughs)....or better yet maybe Tytan should give it to you as he uses it to pound in that face of yours. But anyway I will leave the violence to Tytan.

For me, if you want to have a pissing contest on who has the best toys. Don't temp me I made my first million while you were sitting at home wanting to be like Hulk Hogan.

So I would forget about the relaxing and get ready for a fight because you haven't seen anything like Tytan. And on a side note fans can go and download Tytan's matches on the Ultimo Inc. web site for a fee of course.

So Mr. Kincaid we will see you at Mayhem.

(fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

Stank - So let me get this straight... Eric and Tyson handcuff me, then take Creech's belt and WHIP me, THEN go scurrying off... HIDING on yet ANOTHER island resort?

<Stank looks up at the camera.>

Stank - Kincaid I'm going to let Firechild and the other rookie deal with you... as for you Eric... you rest up. Relax. Get that massage you were supposed to get back in the Philippines. I promise. I won't visit you this time.

But when you get back

Know this...

I... am going... to HURT you.

I am going to END you. I am going to BEAT you to within an inch of your life and then drop your miserable carcass at the feet of Bennett.

Then you will know, just like everybody else...

You have fucked with the wrong man.

[mooseheadjack]

And now a word from your sponser.....

(The video is running and we see Mr. Kincaid's car by itself and Dr Podvod and Tytan talking to one of the locals and then handing him a small wad of money.)



(After that we see the local run away and Tytan smiles and heads to the car. A voice over of Mr. Steel begins as the video continues.)

Mr. Steel : Mr. Kincaid, I thought about it and decided maybe I should give you that gift we talked about last time.

(The video continues and we see Tytan climbing onto the car with a chain in his hand.)

I also wanted Tytan to be the one to give it to you.

(The video then shows Tytan swinging and busting the window with the chain. He then continues to bust out all the windows with the chain.)

So Tyson, let me ask you now....have we gotten your attention? Ultimo Inc. is to be taken seriously. Tytan isn't some rookie pushover.

(Tytan is then seen leaving the chain in one of the windows he smashed in. Then he and Dr. Podvod are seen walking away.)

Maybe now you will actually take us seriously, because if you don't the next time something gets busted up it will be your face.




(Fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

A wheezing SYB makes his way back to the palatial IHOP locker room. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and Dr. Rumack are tending to a still delirious Skurge.

SYB calls Rumack over.

SYB: How's Skurge?
DR: He wouldn't go to the hospital.
SYB: A hospital? What is it?
DR: It's a big buil... you stupid fuck, he's got malaria and we need to treat him immediately.
SYB: Let me just talk to him before you go.

SYB heads over to the makeshift ward in the palatial IHOP locker room. Skurge is lying down on a bamboo stretcher, shaking furiously.

SYB: Skurge?
Skurge (his voice barely rising above a whisper): What?
SYB: Skurge?
Skurge: Wh... what? Wh-wh-what? Is it over?
SYB: Yeah. Yeah, it's all over.
Skurge: Hey, listen. What happened?
SYB: It was a pin. I busted out the Hebrew Hammer.
Skurge: Who helped? Who helped?
SYB: Muerte and AA.
Skurge: Yeah, I knew it. That's good. We did it, eh?
SYB: We did it. We did it. You don't have to worry about nothin' no more. Everything's gonna be OK, Skurge.
Skurge: Yeah. Solly, we did it.
SYB: Listen, we got more to do. Skurge, whatever you wanna do, we'll do it, OK?
Skurge: Don't worry Solly... (he turns over to face the camera) I'll be back.

Dr. Rumack beckons for the EMTs and they slowly lift Skurge's body up and take him away. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth follows them out, leaving SYB alone, collapsed on his LA-Z Boy.

SYB: Well ain't this a kick in the balls. I can't imagine this getting much worse.

Selena and Poe appear in the doorway.

SYB: I was wrong. Well if it ain't Poe and Ho. Don't you have a poetry slam to go to? What's up, Shel Silverstein?

Poe slowly walks over to SYB, favoring that shattered ankle.

Poe: I'm not happy about this arrangement. I have one good ankle, one worthless partner and another one on the brink of death.
SYB: What's your problem, Poe?
Poe: You're everyone's problem. Every time you wrestle, you're unsafe. I don't like you. You're dangerous.
SYB (stands up on top of his chair to get face-to-face): That's right, Poe man... I am dangerous.

SYB hops off his chair and starts filling a cooler with Molson Ice.

Poe: What the hell is this?
SYB: Care package for Skurge. I'm off to the hospital in a bit.

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

We see an overhead shot, zoomed in on Selena’s face as she lies on an table surrounded by candles. The camera pans and we see Poe caress Selena’s face.

Poe: “The bowers whereat, in dreams, I see
The wantonest singing birds,
Are lips – and thy melody
Of lip-begotten words –

Thine eyes, in Heaven of heart enshrined
Then desolately fall,
O God! On my funeral mind
Like starlight on a pall –

Thy heart – thy heart! – I wake and sigh,
And sleep to dream till day
Of the truth that gold can never buy –
Of the baubles that it may.”

Poe then licks cognac off of Selena’s stomach. The camera lowers to a side shot and Poe turns his eyes up to the camera as he licks his lips.

Poe: “Cognac has always cured my ills. Alexander, your sister knows this all too well. I must say though, Selena tastes much, much better than Isis ever did.”

Poe smiles at Selena as she smiles back as she sits up and faces the camera. Selena tilts her head slightly with a grin.

SG: “Solly boy, you wanna be my new toy? I broke my last one. It was sad.”

Selena pouts, but then her face lights up.

SG: “It might be fun to break another one!”

Poe places his hand on Selena’s shoulder.

Poe: “SYB, I attempted to play nice with you, but you continued to be your moronic and now increasingly annoying self. You tell your partner to man up and be in Papua New Guinea for our match, or he’ll wish he was dead when I’m finished with him. And if you so much as lay a finger on my moon goddess, Selena…may Yahweh have mercy on your soul.”

“Alexander, you’re proving to be a much tougher challenge than I expected. I’m almost impressed. As for your partners on Wednesday…well…they’ll be more victims on my long, long list. So, Boy, I hope you enjoyed the blood you drew. I’ll be drawing much much more from you this Wednesday.”

Poe wraps his arm around Serena, resting his chin on her shoulder. Selena rests her head against his and smiles widely.

Poe: “Until then, gentlemen…Namesdeh.”

Selena grins mischievously.

SG: “Nevermore.” *giggles*




OOC: Poem lyrics from “To –“ by Edger Allen Poe

[mooseheadjack]

*Scheme Gene is interviewing Outback Jack*

SG: That was a tough loss for you in the title match.

OBJ: LD was the better man in that match. And he won without outside help, man to man. Now I've got another shot coming up, and, whatever happens, it's a safe bet the fans will get their money's worth.

SG: That's it? No threats? No bragging?

OBJ: This isn't the time for that. I'm planning on taking care of business in the ring. Besides, I have to get over to the Destroyitarium. We got some extra inventory recently, I want to make sure it gets put away properly.

SG: Well, in that case, let me tell all the fans to call my hotline! Kids, borrow your parents' credit cards. Because, speaking of the champ, LD Williams, I've come up with some juicy gossip about a member of his family! This is hot stuff! Find out all the dirt by calling...

*A very large ladies' spiked shoe flies through the air and drops Scheme Gene*

OBJ (drinks, belches, looks down at SG): Australian for sucks to be you, mate.

[mooseheadjack]

[The Dead is in his locker room taping up his hands in preparation of heading to the gym.]

Dead: Let's recap the last few weeks, shall we? Seeing that Firewoman made no effort to give The Dead a title shot, The Dead had to go and take one. Firewoman then tries to destroy The Dead's ankle while claiming that The Dead "had better be at 100%" for the match. Cute, isn't it? This past Sunday, The Dead KICKED THE HELL out of Firewoman, and she hasn't been heard from since. That alone should show you the kind of person she is.

[The Dead stands up and heads down the hallway.]

Dead: So now this week The Dead gets to team with Moosehead Jack. Two sadistic sons of bitches on the same side in one ring. On the other side of that ring is Capellan, who Moose has destroyed lately, and that Amnesiac guy. Two glorified jobbers who should feel lucky to even occupy the same arena as Moosehead Jack and The Dead.

[The Dead enters the gym and begins striking the heavy bag.]

Dead: The Dead relishes this opportunity to tag with the most violent, twisted, sadistic man on the roster. The Dead has no doubt of who will win the match, The Dead just wants to show that he can be just as twisted and sadistic as his partner.



Dead: So Cap, Amnesiac, you should probably go ahead and reserve your hospital beds now.

[The camera fades to black.]

[mooseheadjack]

*FADE IN TO SKURGE'S PALATIAL HOSPITAL ROOM AT KOKOPO GENERAL HOSPITAL*

A groggy Skurge is propped up in his bed with IVs coming out of both arms. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth is pacing back and forth.

Skurge: Where is he?
DM: He'll be here sugarplum. Just relax, ok? Keep your panties on.
Skurge: What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? DOROTHY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?

DM just shakes her head and keeps pacing before she's interrupted by an orderly.

O: Papa bilong mipela...
Skurge: Baxter, you know I don't speak tok pisin.
DM (to the orderly): I don't understand you sweetie.

SYB appears in the doorway.

SYB: He was starting to recite The Lord's Prayer.

Dorothy gives him a quizzical look.

SYB: What, you thought I was all about movie quotes? (to Skurge) How ya feelin brother?
Skurge: I'm fine. Look, a squirrel!
DM: He's not fine. He keeps babbling on and on and I don't know if he'll be ready for your match on Wednesday.
SYB: He'll be fine. I brought some help.
DM: Poe and his jailbait-ish whore?
SYB: No this is real help. Skurge will HAVE to respond to this.

He puts the cooler full of Molson Ice next to Skurge's bed.

SYB: Oy. Check it oot dood.
Skurge: Fe fi fo fum, I smell some FOOKIN BEER!
SYB: That's my boy. How many do you want?
Skurge: Go easy. Let's start with 5.

SYB opens 5 cans and proceeds to pour each one into Skurge's mouth right after another.

Skurge: Much better. What else did you bring for me, eh?
SYB: A local delicatessen. (He snaps his fingers and the orderly wheels in a covered tray. SYB lifts the cover to reveal 20 slithering snakes.)
Skurge: Why did it have to be snakes?
SYB (with a devilish grin): Asps. Very dangerous... you go first.

Skurge waves his hand to dismiss the food and the orderly.

Skurge: This beer is just aboot all I need. Now tell me what's going on with Mayhem.
SYB: Well we're teaming with Poe to take on Darling and Phantos & Lucios...
Skurge: Poe? What aboot Muerte? Wouldn't that have made more sense since he bailed us oot? Maybe I'm not the only one who's delirious around here, eh?
SYB: Seriously you'd have to be blind not to see that.

The two look at the camera for a second before continuing.

Skurge: Now how am I getting oot of here?
SYB: Why can't we just you know, go?
DM: The doctors have advised us that Skurge going anywhere in his present condition would be disastrous.
Skurge: So now what?
SYB: In his present condition, eh? I have... a plan.

*FADE OUT*

[mooseheadjack]

(We see The Amnesiac on his cellphone. He's wearing the most obvious of all t-shirts: "Can you hear me now?" Monkh doesn't appear to be anywhere in sight.)

Amn: Mmmhm... that's right. Wednesday night. (Pause.) Check-in time? Oh, I dunno... maybe 10:30? Actually, we're probably curtain jerking tomorrow night...

(Kayfabe sticks her head out around a corner and glares.)

Amn: Better make it 9:30. (Pause.) Yes, that's right. 2 double beds. (Pause.) My name? Uh... go ahead and register us under the name Monkh. (Pause.) Okay... sounds good then. (Pause.) Okay, we'll see you then. Thanks for taking my call.

(The Amnesiac hangs up the phone, just as Monkh is coming around the corner.)

Monkh: Hey, I could have sworn I just saw Kay-

Amn: Nevermind that now. We're all booked for tomorrow night.

Monkh: Alright! No problems making reservations like that?

Amn: Not at all, seems like people do that all the time, strangely.

Monkh: Really? I can't imagine people reserving hospital beds the day before an actual injury occurs.

Amn: Well, I took The Dead's advice, and figured hey, what's the worse thing that could happen? They could laugh at me and hang up. But it turns out you can apparently actually reserve hospital beds. Huh. Who knew?

(Monkh and The Amnesiac walk around the corner. As he turns, we can now see the back of The Amnesiac's t-shirt which states plainly - "Good, then go fuck yourself." The camera fades to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

<Camera cuts to a back alley where we see Stank leaving the Destroyitarium to get some fresh air. Stank appears to be mumbling to himself.>

Stank - Damn it Outback! What the hell is are we going to do with all that shit?

<The next thing we hear is a loud SMACK! as MOOSEHEAD JACK comes FLYING in from off camera wielding a snow shovel he just used to whack Stank on the back of his head. Stank falls down in a heap. Moose turns the big man over into a pinning position and out of nowhere Angelo Barros appears for the count...

ONE... TWO... NO! STANK KICKS OUT! WTF??

Moose jumps up, incredulous. He turns to grab the shovel, but by the time he has it in his hands, Stank is on his feet... and he is none too happy. With blood pouring down the back of his neck Stank says...>

Stank - The first one is free... the next one will cost you.

<Moose considers this for the briefest of moments before SWINGING the shovel toward the big man's head! Stank catches it at the handle and POPS Moose in the jaw. Moose loses his grip and staggers backwards from the blow, clutching at his jaw. Stank rushes Moose and clubs him across the back of the neck, then throws him into a nearby garage door. As Moose staggers back from the door, Stank scoops Moose up over his shoulder and SLAMS him HARD down to the pavement. Moose writhes in pain and Stank walks away waiting for Moose to get to his feet. As he does, Stank comes FLYING in from off screen and connects with a BIG BOOT to Moose's mouth. His jaw just might be broken as Moose is nearly knocked out cold!>

Stank - Had enough?

<Moose lies on his back and weakly raises his hand, motioning for Stank to bring it! Stank obliges. He grabs Moose and tosses him over his shoulder. Moose struggles, falls, and lands on his feet behind Stank. Stank whirls around and Moose fires off a couple of shots to the midsection, but Stank barely notices. A MASSIVE standing CLOTHESLINE spins Moose end over end and just about decapitates him as once again Moose finds himself on the pavement.>

Stank - Are you done yet?

<Moose lying face down pushes himself up on his hands and knees and starts to chuckle, which crescendos into a full blown laugh! Stank grins then begins to laugh as well. Moose is on his knees now just guffawing uncontrollably. He stops every now and then to clutch at his aching jaw, but starts the laughter back up with each and every throb of pain. Stank remains where he is standing and continues to share the laugh.

Stank looks over and sees a pallet of bottled beer. Stank walks over , grabs two bottles of beer, then hands one to Moose. Moose still on his knees takes the beer, twists off the cap, and begins to guzzle it down. As he does so, he notices an up turned garbage can close by. In one quick motion, Moose grabs the can and THROWS it at Stank, but Stank just catches it and drops it to the pavement, stomping it flat. Stank charges at Moose with another BIG BOOT, but Moose ducks this time and with another swift motion, picks up the flattened trashcan and flings it at the back of Stank's head. The sharp corner of the metal can digs into the back of the already marred flesh, which was hammered earlier by the snow shovel, making a small gash much bigger. Blood now flows more freely from the back of Stank's head as he goes down to one knee.

Bleeding from the nose and mouth, Moose staggers over to Stank and applies the Jiendo. Stank struggles in the chokehold and is now down on both knees, as he tries to rip Moose free from his deathgrip. Stank with Herculean strength stands while Moose squeezes tighter, Stank's blood running down the smaller man's arms and dripping onto the pavement below. Stank staggers around with Moose clutched to his head and neck and hiked up on his back. The big man, through blurry vision spies a broken pallet stacked on top of other pallets, it's jagged edge protruding out. Stank wearily makes his way over to the pallet and BACKS MOOSE HARD INTO THE JAGGED EDGE OF THE PALLET! A piece of wood bites into Moose flesh and juts out of Moose's side in a spray of blood. Moose screams as this is enough to finally get Moose to loosen his grip. Stank staggers out from Moose's position. He turns and looks at his opponent as Moose hangs suspended on the jagged piece of wood.>

Stank - Ha Ha... now ... have y... you had... enough?

<Stank falls on his back unconscious with a hard THUD!

Moose falls to the pavement, the jagged piece of wood which held him, breaking and finally collapsing under Moose's weight, granting him release to the ground below. Moose is giggling now as he crawls over to Stank's prone body. His last act before losing consciousness is to drape his arm over Stank's massive chest...>

Angelo Barros - ... Jesus Christ!

ONE, TWO, THREE!! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION - MOOSEHEAD JACK!!!

<Camera Fades>

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback Jack, hearing a commotion, walks out of the Destroyitarium. He sees Stank and Moose passed out on the ground. He looks at the beer bottles on the ground and shakes his head, holding up 2 fingers.*

OBJ: I thought these guys could hold their liquor better than this.

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose staggers to his feet and grabs the title and stumbles out of the room into the hall wheezing for breath. Once in the hallway he sees Dead. Dead looks stunned and walks over to Moose>

Dead: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?

MHJ:<wheezing> I won the <cough> title back

D: All that for the DDT title?

MHJ: <coughing> Do Rick's guys have the title?

D: No......

MHJ: Then it was worth it

<Dead grabs Moose and helps him back to the Bennett Suites>

[mooseheadjack]

ConcreteTG is in the interview area with Sexy Female Journalist #555.

SFJ555 - ConcreteTG, you've made quite the impact since you've returned to OOWF. First you ally with your former rival, Stank, and this week you have a shot for the Intercontinental Title with Donovan Viper. What are your thoughts?

CTG: Well, Citizen Sexy, Mr. Viper and I have fought for that belt before, many years ago, when the belt was around my waist. He didn't beat me then, and he shant beat me no....

*BLAMMO* Viper runs in cracking CTG in the head with an Intercontinental Championship-assisted Death Elbow! Attitude Adjuster walks in right behind Viper holding a pole as SFJ#555 runs off. At the end of the pole... OMG A SHARPIE! He takes the sharpie off the end of the pole and writes in big letters over CTG's unconcious body. Just then, Stank appears (he's no longer unconcious).

Stank: You animals! Who do you think you are? The nWo?

DV: The who?

Stank: You know. nWo? The biggest stable in wrestling history?

DV: I don't follo...

AA: ExCUSE me? No one was bigger than the Four Horsemen! Hell, the nWo couldn't even tie the Fabulous Freebirds' shoelaces!

DV: Who are these people you guys are talking about?

AA: Way before your time, Donnie, but good guys to study.

DV: A-ha.

AA: Taaaake oooon meeee...

DV: Take on me.

AA: Man, that's a good song...

DV: It is, isn't it?

St: Man, I should bust you guys in the head for what you just did to Concrete. Attacking him and then writing your stables initials on his body... waitaminute. LBJ?

AA: Huh?

St: Man, you couldn't even spell your stables initials right?

DV: Oh snap, he's right.

AA: What are you talking ab... OOh! Haha! LBJ isn't L.J. Bennett. It's Lyndon B. Johnson!

DV: Who?

AA: President of the United States. 1963-1969. Before your time, son.

DV: I went to public school, remember?

AA: I know. Poor lad. Anyways, it looks like I have to correct my mistake. You got any of that correction tape, Don?

DV: Yup. You never know when you need to cover up a mistake. Although, Concrete's not wearing white, so...

AA: No matter. Help me out with this...

Viper covers up Adjuster's error with correction tape as Stank watches on. Attitude rewrites the initials.

St: Ok, you're either really that stupid or you're just doing this to mock me.

AA: What?

St: JBL?

AA: Oh...

St: That guy doesn't even work for the company!

DV: Who's this JBL?

St: John Bradshaw Layfield?

DV: Who?

St: Longest reigning Smackdown Champion?

DV: Smackwhat? Sorry man, I'm not following...

AA: We got more of that correction tape, Donnie?

DV: A little bit, but I think I'm about to run out.

St: JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BEAT YOU BOTH SENSELESS!!!

AA: You and what army?

The rest of Rick's Army show up to more than even up the odds.

AA: Ok, well we're out of here. Later skaters!

OBJ: Who knew that Attitude had spelling problems?

DM: Is it really spelling problems when he mixes up acronyms rather than words?

Luc: That's more like dyslexia, right?

St: Will you guys shut up and help me with Concrete?

[mooseheadjack]

(The Amnesiac and Monkh sit at Ric's Diner, munching on sandwiches and watching the TV tuned in to the OOWF channel behind the counter. They watch Moose and Stank's epic battle. The Amnesiac just smiles.)

Amn: Good. It's all going according to plan.

Monkh: What plan?

Amn: The one I haven't devised yet.

Monkh: Oh, well that makes sense.

(They both continue grazing.)

[mooseheadjack]

(Phantos and Lucios are in the Dunkin Donuts Limousine driving around beautiful downtown Kokopo)

Phantos: HEY! There's that hotel we stayed at the first time we ever came here. You remember that Luc? We got off the plane and that guy with the eye patch met us a drove us here?

Lucios: (takes a long drink from a 1-litre bottle of Aquafina) Yeah.. good times

Phantos: Man, you seem kind of distracted. Is it because we lost?

Lucios: Wha? Sorry, My mind is jsut elsewhere right now.

Phantos: You know, Dr. Freedman says that we should really learn to put our wins and losses in perspective. It's Sports Entertainment after all, There are people far worse off than we are after a loss.

Lucios: Yeah. Listen, Phantos, can you just keep it down for a while? I've got some things on my mind.

Phantos: Maybe You should call Sydney. He's done wonders for me!

Lucios seems not to notice Phantos was still speaking. Fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

(In The War Room at Ultimo Inc. Mr. Steel, Dr. Podvod, Tytan as well as several other groundlings sit and discuss stategy.)

Mr. Steel : So have we gotten a response from Mr. Kindcaid?

Groundling#1: No, sir it seems like he may have actually noticed Ultimo Inc. after we destroyed his car. He has been pretty quiet. We have actually seen him going to several Auto Shops trying to get estimates on the damage Tytan did to his car.

Tytan: Then maybe next time he will think twice about leaving the car with the locals.

(The Whole room laughs)

Mr. Steel: Now then what about the one they call Firechild?

Groundling #2: We have checked all the surrounding hospitals and Firechild is no where to be found.

Dr. Podvod: After the beatdown he took in the ring at the PAy-Per-View. I wouldn't be showing yself for a while either.

Mr. Steel: Good. So that means everything is going according to plan. The heads of each side of this war are going to take notice and soon the offers will start to come in. One of them will want the services of Ultimo Inc.

(The room laughs.)

Then come Mayham if either one of those guys make it to the ring. What are you going to do to them Tytan.

Tytan: Give them an Ultimo Experience in Pain!

(The room laughs and the fade to black.)

[mooseheadjack]

The Camera comes up as Justin Sane is seen in the arena hallway staring at a vending machine, apparently in deep conversation. SFJ#138 comes over to him with a Mic in hand.

SFJ - Justin you've scheduled interview time with us?

Justin spins around missing a collision with SFJ#138 bye inches.

JS - Yes I just wanted everyone to know that even tho I was once more betrayed bye that dastardly Ladder, I am still determined to win back my OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Intercontinental Onslaught Tag Triple Threat King of the Mountain Royal Knockout Title. So Watch out Stank, because the bigger they are the harder they fall on Justin Sane..... I Mean fall into Justin Sane, No I mean fall in love with Justin Sane. Ummm Phil what do I mean?

(Justin turns around to once more see just a vending machine behind him.)

JS- (turning back towards camera) Right, No Phil, have got to remember that. Anyways Stink I'm coming for my belt back.

SFJ - Actually Justin, Stank is no longer the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion, Moosehead Jack just defeated him for it a couple of promo's ago.

JS - Whosinthewhatsitnow? Say that again.

SFJ - Moosehead Jack beat Stank for the belt.

(Justin's eyes seem to grow wider, but not in terror, but in an odd sense of joy?)

JS - Moosehead Joke the deadliest competitor in the OOWF, this is the chance to prove myself I've been waiting for. This shall be a showdown for the ages.

Justin starts to leave, stops turns back towards SFJ#138 and quickly grabs her hand holding the Mic, and proceeds to smash himself in the head with the Mic. He instantly falls to the ground, he then reaches over and places her foot on his chest. An OOWF ref slides in and makes the 3 count declaring SFJ#138 the winner.

Justin hops back to his feet and snatches the Mic out of her hand and stares directly at the camera, looking more serious than he ever has before.

JS - Now that we've gotten that out of the way.... Moosehead Jerk you have something I desire more than anything else, and I'm going to take it from you, This is not a promise, it is a threat. (slight pause) Threatening Moosehead John is it crazy, or is it JUSTIN SANE.

Justin leaves as both SFJ#138 and the Ref look on amazed.

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose is sitting in one of the training rooms having the piece of wood removed from his side, a remnant of his battle with Stank earlier when Eric O'Mac and Chris Cole burst into the room laughing hysterically>

CC: HOLY SHIT MOOSE DID YOU SEE THE PROMO?

MHJ: What promo?

EOM:<between fits of laughter> Justin Sane called you out!

MHJ: What?

CC: Yeah watch the promo, CAMERAMAN!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way.... Moosehead Jerk you have something I desire more than anything else, and I'm going to take it from you, This is not a promise, it is a threat. (slight pause) Threatening Moosehead John is it crazy, or is it JUSTIN SANE.

Justin leaves as both SFJ#138 and the Ref look on amazed.

<Eric and Cole convulse in laughter, Moose just looks on slightly amused>

CC: Well Moose, its been fun, but with Justin Sane gunning for ya, you better head out of town.

EOM: RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

<They both double over in laughter. With the last bit of stitching done, Moose hops off the table and looks at the two rolling in laughter>

MHJ: Lets just find out how sane Justin is

[mooseheadjack]

As Moosehead Jack, EOM and Chris Cole prepare to leave, The door is kicked open bye Justin Sane. The door swings back quickly and in a shocking move Justin stops it before it can hit him. Justin steps forward staring at Moose who just stares back. Justin looks down at the DDT belt Moose is holding and than looks back at Moose.

JS - You have something I desire.

MJ - (lifts up the belt slightly) Than come take it.

JS - I will, but I won't sneak attack, no ambush, no jokes, no surprises. I will take it from you on your terms. Whatever kind of match you want, name the time the place the stips, whatever you want. I want to win it from the violent-est most devastating wrestler in the OOWF. Bring the best you've got that's what I...

Justin is cut of bye a sudden and vicious HEART PUNCH from Moosehead Jack. Justin just stands there apparently no selling the move, rage can be seen building on Moose's face. However before anything else can happen, Justin slowly leans forward and proceeds to vomit everything he has eaten over the last week onto the floor. Justin stands back up and stares Moose in the eyes.

JS - Touche (with that Justin's eyes roll into the back of his head and he collapses to the floor.)

MJ - (Leaning over the nearly unconscious Justin) You don't want this fight, Trust me.

Moosehead Jack walks out of the room followed by EOM and Cole laughing hysterically.

As the camera pans down to the semi-coherent Justin we see a smile on his face.

JS - (whispering) but I do.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan, Steel, and Dr.Podvod are walking around in the parking lot seeing if they can find Kincaid or Firechild. They aren't having the best of luck. As they are walking they see EOM, Chris Cole, and Moosehead Jack heading to their cars.)

Mr. Steel : Impressive victory earlier Mr. Jack.

MJ: Thanks, now who the hell are you?

CC: It's the guy that does those infomercials on OOWF TV.

Mr. Steel: The name is Johnathan Steel and by now you know Tytan.

(Everyone nods to acknowledge each other.)

And his handler Dr Podvod.

(The guys all check her out but still keep their cool.)

EOM: Hey.

Dr. P: We were wondering Gentlemen have any of you seen Mr. Kincaid or Mr. Firechild.

CC: I would check the hospitals for Firechild.

EOM: Haven't seen Kincaid since we left the resort. But you pissed him off about the car.

Tytan: Good, because that is only a sample of what's going to happen to him in the ring.

MJ: Settle down, big man he ain't here.

Mr. Steel: Damn, they are hiding too damn good.

(Everyone starts to walk away.)

Mr. Steel: Oh and guys since you were such good sports. (He pulls out three Ultimo. Inc Shirts.) Have some Shirts.

CC: Cool.

(Ultimo Inc. walks away.)

MJ: Who in the hell were they?

EOM: No idea.

(Fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

*Voiceover*

Eric: You know, I think that we need to stop going out to secluded islands. Or at the very least, stop telling people that we're going out there.

Tyson: But the important thing is everyone is ok.

Eric: We lost our pay per view match too. But Stank still has a grudge.

Tyson: Well, you did whip him.

Eric: It was a wrestling match! Everything was legal! Doesn't Stank know who the fuck I am?

Moose: I think he does. That's why he hates you.

Eric: Moose, where did you come from?

Moose: Well, you guys are in my locker room. That's why it's dark in here.

Eric: Oh.

*click*

Eric: Ohh, light. That's much better.

Chris Cole: At least you are in a meaningful match.

Eric: You're in a meaningful match. Who are you up against?

Moose: It doesn't matter. What does matter is that you take care of business tomorrow night.

Eric: What did I ever do to Stank anyways?

Tyson: Didn't you ambush him on a segment of Stank's pub?

Eric: He deserved it.

Tyson: Isn't this the same kind of attitude that makes everyone hate Alexander Darling?

Eric: Hey, he's made some new friends. If Alexander Darling can make friends, anything is possible. Like me beating the shit out of Stank.

Moose: Right.

Eric: So Stank can make his threats. The bottom line is I'll survive his angryness and his wrath and he'll wish he was on Bennett's side when I'm done with him. Trust me.

Moose: My phrase.

Eric: Oh. Booyah?

Moose: No.

Eric: Whatever. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it.

Moose: That's more like it.

*End*