OOWF Brawl of Saigon PPV

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF Brawl of Saigon PPV
Live! From Saigon, Vietnam

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Chris Cole

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Donovan Viper vs. Alexander Darling

OOWF Onslaught Hell In The Cell Match[/u]
The Dead vs. Firewoman

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
IHOP vs. Winner of the Phantos & Lucios vs. Midnight Sons Match

OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u]
Attitude Adjuster & The Worlds Greatest Fag Team vs. Gaelic Storm & Outback Jack

OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title Taipei Death Match[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Justin Sane

Winner Gets an OOWF World Tag Team Title Match TONIGHT[/u]
Phantos & Lucios vs. The Midnight Sons

Submission Match[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Poe

The Amnesiac vs. Concrete TG
ZK DeBeers vs. Stank
Tytan vs. Knife
Blits, Tyson Kincaid & Eric O'Mac vs. Carl From Fresno, Bunny & Mark Vander

card subject to DMZ rules

[mooseheadjack]

After the end of the 06/25 episode of Mayhem, the camera follows a very pissed and bloody Justin Sane down the back hallways. The camera zooms in on his face where we see a large gash that has swollen his left eye shut. Justin stops in front of the door to the Run DEA suite and kicks the door open which immediately swings back into his allready injured face. The sound of someone saying "what the hell theyr'e attacking again" is heard from inside. Justin reaches down and more slowly opens the door, when he is nearly decapitated by a clothesline from Davin Moreland.

DM: What the hell? He's not one of Bennets guys.

JS: (rising to his feet) No I'm not, especially after what happened tonight. Things have gone to far, things are getting to personal, one can't fight without allies around here anymore. That's why I'm here to throw in my lot with team GMtheRock.

AD: Why would we want you on our team?

JS: Look around You guys got screwed out of two belts tonight, and had one of your own team members turn on you, can you really aford to turn away help. Besides after MooseArm Jack dared to bring my arch nemisis in on a double team this weak, I can't aford to fight alone either.

P: Look we appreciate the offer, but right now we need to look after our teamates.

DM: We don't have time for games.

JS: This isn't a game, you need me to prove I can handle myself, fine, this sunday I have a title match against MooseArm Jack, name any stip you want, and I'll get it added to the match, and beat him at it.

AD: How about a Taipei Death Match?

JS: If that's what it takes to prove myself, fine. (with that Justin turns to leave)

AD: Hey man I was just kid...(Darlings words are cut off as Justin slams the door shut behind him) Justin than procedes to head towards the trainers room to get his reopened face stitched back up.

JS: (under his breath) Now I just have to figure out what the heck a Taipei Death Match is.

[mooseheadjack]

[After a grueling championship match with L.D. Williams, Stank is making his way to the back from the ramp, as he steps through the curtain...]

BAM

[Blindsided, Stank is knocked out by a Z.K. DeBeers Diamond-Plated Knucks (c) aided punch. He takes off the knucks, gives a little chuckle...then looks down in seriousness.]

Z.K.: YOU WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME? YOU WANT TO ATTACK ME WHEN I'M NOT PREPARED? NO ONE DOES THAT TO Z.K. DEBEERS....NOBODY!

[He starts walking towards his entourage that has all their stuff ready to hightail out of there. At the last moment, he turns around]

Z.K.: Next time, I'll do to you what I always do to all of your kind, I will own you. See you at the Brawl, servant.

[The Entourage leaves before anyone can see what DeBeers did. Fade out.]

[mooseheadjack]

*Inside The Run DEA Suites*

Alexander Darling and Davin Moreland are still the only two people in the suite as the rest of the group is with Fire as she recovers from her match.

Alexander: That Justin sure is off the wall. I kinda like him.

Davin: You would. Your whole family...

Alexander: Cut it right there. I'm not dealing with the bullshit between you and my sister. That's a personal thing. We're business and we work well together. So let's just keep it there before something else is said that one of us regrets.

Davin: Whatever.

Davin turns on the TV and like all locker rooms it's automatically tuned to OOWF-TV. Davin calls Alexander over and they see ZK DeBeers attack Stank.

Davin: Well now...feel like taking a walk?

A gleam is seen in Alexander's eyes.

Alexander: I think I need to stretch my legs a little, actually. Let me grab something first.

Alexander walks into his room and grabs something,
Hey Davin, heads up.

A piece of steel rebar flies through the air and Davin catches it,
Davin: Perfect.

Alexander joins Davin and he's got his personally signed OOWF Eric O'Mac barbed-wire wrapped sledgehammer.

Davin: Why do you still have that?

Alexander: Cause go fuck yourself, that's why!

Davin: Good answer. Let's walk.

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin and Alexander have crept up on ZK DeBeers and entourage. After quickly laying out the dumb muscle, the both turn their attention on ZK.*

DM: Hey Alex...isn't this the guy that just pulled a lame-ass sneak attack on our teammate?

AD: *smacks the sledgehammer in his hand a couple times* I think you might be right, Davin. You know, we've really had a rough time with team unity of late.

DM: *cracks his neck* You're right. You know, we should really get on board with that.

AD: Well, *stretches* I'll be honest; he's talked a lot of shit since showing up here; and the blackface thing? Not funny.

DM: No, especially when our teammate here would be very offended by that.

AD: You know, I think he's said a couple things about YOUR home as well...

DM: You know, I seem to recall that his first promo here was talking shit about Boston...I don't really like that very much.

AD: Well sir? You have the honors.

DM: Appreciated. *walks right up into DeBeers' face* So, asshole, you want to take cheap shots at our teammates?

ZKD: Fuck you, chowderhead!

DM: Wrong answer. *Davin unleashes a wicked blow with the rebar right on the bridge of ZK's nose*

AD: *cringes* I HATE when you do that.

DM: Sorry partner.

*ZK is holding his nose, which is gushing blood*

DM: So anyway *shot to the kneecap* THAT is for talking shit about Stank. *Shot to the side of the head* THAT is for being a pussy and attacking Stank from behind. *shot directly across the chest* THAT is for being offensive as all fuck. *Shot to the nutsack* THAT is for fucking with Team Rick. *REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE CEMENT FLOOR* and THAT is for Boston. *shot to the back of the head* THAT is for the Red Sox. *again* THAT is for the Patriots. *again* THAT is for the Celtics. *Motions for Sop to hold ZK up in a Liontamer, and start to repeatedly whip him in the back with the rebar* THAT'S for talking shit about me. THAT'S for pissing me off. THAT'S for trying to steal my finisher. And THAT is just because I don't like you.

*Davin and Alexander stare down at the near-dead bloody corpse below*

DM: Well, I'm done. Did you want a turn?

[mooseheadjack]

Alexander: Yea, pick him up and hold him there.

Davin picks DeBeers up and holds him a bit off to the side. Darling starts measuring him with the sledgehammer, and just as he's about to strike there is someone yelling down the hall.

Alexis: STOP IT!!! Stop this instant. What the fuck do you two think you're doing?

Davin: We're being unified teammates. He attacked Stank...but knowing you, you probably put him up to it.

Alexis flips Davin off, and turns to her brother.
Alexis: Did he really attack Stank?

Alexander nods. Alexis looks like she's deciding the next move and she holds out her hand and Alexander just shakes his head as he hands her the sledgehammer. She's just about to lay it on the ground when she swings it like a baseball bat right to DeBeers gut. As he's crouched over she locks his arms and spins around...BITCH KILLER on the concrete floor.

Alexis: I don't know what you were thinking ZK...but you picked the wrong guy to attack.
Brother dear, LG's looking for you...Davin, it's been real. I'm gonna go look for Seamus.

Davin just eyes her as she walks away.

Alexander: Not a word.

Davin: We done here?

Alexander is about to nod yes, when he looks at DeBeers laying flat on his stomach and steps between his legs...Locks them up...MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP.

Alexander: Now I'm done.

[mooseheadjack]

DM: All right then. Later. I'm glad both your sisters aren't straight bitches.

AD: Seriously, enough, we're getting along so well now and everything.

DM: Fine, Later then.

*Davin quickly moves to the beat-up body of Stank who is just now moving*

DM: Stank, man, can you stand?

S: THE FUCK?!? Get the fuck out of here.

DM: You're hurt man. Let's get ya to the ambulance, k?

*Davin hefts Stank up and leans him on his shoulder, they slowly make their way to the ambulance out back*

S: New meds...working out then?

DM: Team Unity; I'm not gonna tell you to shut the fuck up.

S: Fine. Team Unity.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

*Eric O'Mac is walking down the hall and notices a bloody corpse on the ground. He doesn't even see who it is when he says...*

Eric: Ha.

*Eric walks away to his locker room.*

[mooseheadjack]

[Sometime much later...more than a few minutes at least, ECW, WWE, and TNA come by and notice DeBeers beaten and bloodied on the ground failing to get up. As they tend to him, ECW hands DeBeers and packet up something which he immediately snorts up his nose, which had stopped bleeding until this point]

ZK: Thanks [Coughs, and spits some more blood] Ephrom.

ECW: Um, boss...your bleeding everywhere...and what exactly is this stuff I give you every time you get fucked up by people.

[ZK goes to respond but falls from dizziness caused by bloodloss. CTC helps to hold him up]

ZK: Crushed up diamond formula. It's the strongest thing to a rejuvination medicine outisde of that awesome Mamajuana shots I've heard about. [Coughs up blood again] Where the hell were you guys?

WWE: We were licking our own wounds boss...we got our asses kicked aga-

[DeBeers with his last bit of strength bitchslaps WWE]

ZK: I'm your boss, your supposed to defend me. Anyway, you three, go prove your worth. I'm leaving. Go get me some revenge on those bastards.

[ZK motions for Regina who helps him to walk away to go to his limo. They leave for real this time. WWE, TNA, and ECW look at each other. None of them want to mess with the dumb Bostonian or the Birdman, but they know they have to do something. Luckily, CTC sees Rabbxt standing around by himself.]

ECW: Fuck it, its not worth it to me to get on their bad sides. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

[ECW leaves, but the not so smart TNA and WWE decide its time to get revenge, even if its against a meaningless person of their group. They both grab him from behind and throw him through one of the buffet tables.]

WWE: Yes, we finally did something right. Now lets leave before the rest of that damn group kicks our ass too.

[They both turn to leave, but slip on two of the bananas that fell from the table. They knock themselves unconcious. The Samoans have fallen.]

Fade out.

[mooseheadjack]

(A ninja cameraman somehow finds his way into the office of LJ Bennett, who is sitting behind his desk. Sitting facing him is The Amnesiac. Neither of them looks very happy. The Amnesiac wears a t-shirt that says 'Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy!' Bennett looks thoughtful, then speaks.)

LJB: So... it seems like the rats are fleeing a sinking ship.

Amn: I have no idea what you've heard, Mr. Bennett. I'm no rat. And I'm not fleeing anything.

LJB: So tell me what you're doing here.

Amn: I'm here because I've been doing some soul-searching. I've figured out who I am, and it's not this funny, silly, crazy guy that everyone out there wants to love. I'm not him at all.

LJB: Yes, but-

Amn: Please. Don't interrupt me.

(Bennett looks pissed.)

Amn: As I was saying... I'm not the squeaky-clean father-figure that people wanted me to be. I'm not that guy. I've got a blacker heart than that. It wasn't my responsibility to take care of Monkh. To feed him. To put him up in hotels. That wasn't my job.

(Bennett's glare softens a bit.)

Amn: What I am, though, is something altogether different. But when I took a step back and looked at my situation, I realized I was in the wrong place. I realized that my talents were being wasted.

(LJ nods curtly. He lets The Amnesiac continue.)

Amn: I have a lot of innovative spirit inside of me, just waiting to get out in very creative ways.

LJB: Please explain.

Amn: Well, back when I was visiting Gotham City, I got to meet a lot of... well, what you might call 'supervillains'. People whose talents had gone unrecognized, and even punished in most cases. I was there to try to discover what it was about insanity that drew me in. I wanted to see how to defeat it.

LJB: Yes. I saw your vignettes. Very interesting stuff.

Amn: But it was about that time, I realized, that I felt at home with these people. These were my family. My kinship. I knew that I didn't belong on Team Rick anymore.

(The Amnesiac almost spits out those final three words, as if it disgusts him just to UTTER the team name.)

Amn: I got to speak briefly with Moosehead Jack.

LJB: Yes, he told me about your conversations, both on the phone and in his office.

Amn: So then you know how interested I am in joining Team Bennett.

LJB: The subject was broached, yes.

Amn: And...?

(LJ Bennett stares at The Amnesiac for a good minute before even blinking. The Amnesiac meets his stare and doesn't blink either. Finally, after a tense minute, Bennett stands up, smiles, and extends a hand to The Amnesiac, which is quickly enveloped in a handshake.)

Amn: Believe me, Mr. Bennett, you're making a very good move here.

LJB: I know. I've done my research on you, Mr. THE Amnesiac. I know about your past. Probably moreso than you do, actually.

Amn: That's entirely possible, since I don't remember anything before a few years ago.

LJB: Well, let's just say I'll be keeping my eye on you. Welcome to the team, THE Amnesiac.

(The two men complete their handshake, and The Amnesiac moves towards the door.)

LBJ: Oh, and Amnesiac?

(The Amnesiac flinches just a little bit at the lack of 'THE', but turns around.)

Amn: Yes?

LJB: Do me a favor. Go see Eric O'Mac and Tyson Kincaid. I believe they have some thanks to give you for their win tonight.

(The Amnesiac nods and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. *FADE*)

[mooseheadjack]

<Moosehead Jack is waiting to get on the plane to the Saigon Arena when LD Williams comes up to him>

LDW: You see the pay per view lineup?

MHJ: Yeah, I have Justin Sane again. The kid is persistent.

LDW: Oh hell, you didn't hear then?

MHJ: Hear what?

LDW: He challenged you to a Taipei Death match

<Moose just stares at LD for a minute>

MHJ: Get the fuck out of here

LDW: I swear he did. He wants you in a Taipei Death Match

MHJ: That little bastard IS insane

<there is a long silence between the two>

LDW: You're going to hurt him aren't you

MHJ: That's the plan

[mooseheadjack]

[The Dead gets on the plane and makes his way to his seat. He's got his shiny new Onslaught title slung over his shoulder as he moves down the aisle.]

Dead: Had to get this thing polished. Didn't want to catch whatever Fire has.

[Just then The Dead sees Firewoman. He notices her looking at the belt.]

Dead: You know, this thing just looks so much better on me than it ever did on you.

[Rage burns in Fire's eyes and it looks like she's about to lash out, but Dead just winks at her and moves down the aisle to his seat.]

[mooseheadjack]

Attitude Adjuster and The World’s Greatest Fag Team (that is going to get fixed, right?) are reviewing tape of last week’s victory.

FFC: Wait a second! We’re watching tape? Who the hell do the writers think we are, Phantos and Lucios? I’ve never watched tape before.

AA: I know. Me either. But apparently it gives us a reason to be together and cut our first promo together as a group.

FFC: Ok then, that makes sense. But can’t we be doing something more heel-ish? Like maybe watching porn and eating popcorn?

RH: Yeah, porn!

AA: Been there, done that. Besides, Popcorn and Porn didn’t even win an award for best promo. Some promo about a Parking Lot Brawl won that year.

FFC: Not the airplane flight to Hawaii? Not the “D&D and TCH goes Western” series? Not even “TCH Teases Breakup to Swerve D&D”? How is Johnny, anyway?

(AA points to the television screen, where suddenly the TV shows Johnny, still wrapped in bandages and attached to various tubes. He gives a thumbs up sign.)

FFC: So 36 holes at Kapalua today, huh?

AA: Probably. Anyway, who wants to start this promo? Ryan, how about you?

RH: Really? Me? But you guys are the masters. All I do is fornicate.

(AA looks at FFC with a quizzical look.)

FFC: Yeah, he’s even worse than Jesus F. Kidneypuncher.

AA: Come on, Ryan. Aren’t you even going to question why FFC and I didn’t jump in to break up the pin on you last week at Midweek Mayhem in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia! (Cheap pop comes from some random location.)

RH: OK, so why didn’t you guys come in to break up the pin? We could have lost our titles.

AA: That’s better, Ryan. Good job. FFC, tell him, big man!! (AA slaps FFC in the chest, then winces as if he’s hurt his hand.)

FFC: You OK?

AA: Yeah, it’s just that I didn’t have my therapeutic glove on, and I think I re-injured my hand. I’ll have to wear that mysterious black glove to the ring for another couple of months now.

FFC (shaking his head): Wow, that’s classic, AA. Anyway, Ryan, AA and I knew that even if you were pinned, someone would overturn the decision because you weren’t the legal man in the ring.

RH: That’s it! The non-legal man gets pinned all the time in wrestling.

FFC: Look, between AA and I, you’re looking at five OOWF title reigns. Of course, D&D had three of them. (FFC elbows AA in the ribs.)

AA: Yeah, but you didn’t include our PHWF titles. We were the original PHWF champs!

FFC: You gave yourselves those titles!

AA: No we didn’t! We won them in Las Vegas!

FFC: Yeah, and Pat Patterson won the Intercontinental title in a tournament in Rio de Janeiro.

AA: He did!

FFC: Of course he did.

RH: Are you guys going anywhere with this?

FFC: Oh yeah. Anyway, we knew someone would overturn the decision because we just won the titles two weeks ago, right after a tournament to create the titles. There’s no way the booker would have a title change hands again so quickly. It would devalue the title. Plus, he’s already got one chick running around with a title, so he couldn’t have the “Woman with a title” angle going twice at the same time.

AA: But Firewoman dropped her title to The Dead.

FFC: Yeah, but that was after our match. Plus I think The Dead might be a chick.

RH: PWNED!!!!!

AA: What the hell does that mean, anyway?!?

RH: So what you’re telling me is that winning and losing in professional wrestling has nothing to do with physical abilities?

AA: He hasn’t been around long, has he?

FFC: He takes some getting use to.

AA: OK, well that was pretty good. Now let’s make sure this match against Gaelic Storm and Outback Jack, at The Brawl in Saigon PPV this Sunday in Saigon, Vietnam (cheap pop emanates from some magical location) doesn’t get too long, because I have to fly back to Florida before next week’s Midweek Mayhem to take part in the Sting vs. Assassin #2 match for the OOWF Championship Committee seat.

FFC: Doesn’t Sting realize he’s going to get screwed by someone?

RH: Yeah, even I see that coming.

FFC: That’s why I love this guy.

AA: Dude, you might want to watch your love proclamations until you get that tag team name fixed.

FFC: Oh yeah. When are they going to fix that?

[mooseheadjack]

[It's a short flight.]

Team Run DEA is settling in to their nearly identical digs that follow them everywhere, in the City Formerly Known as Saigon, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Firewoman comes in, with death in her eyes, Lucky following behind, somewhat meekly. They walk through the suites as everyone stops and stares. She doesn't stop or even acknowledge their existence, and goes into her office followed by Lucky, and the door slams loudly.

Alexander: I guess she's not quite over her match yet.

Davin: I guess not.

Before the conversation can continue, Lucky comes out in a hurry, carrying a piece of paper, and the door slams behind him.

Lucky: [yelling through the door] Okay, I'll go straight there. And I'll tell him to come alone.... [he sees Davin and Alexander staring at hime.] Oh...uh, hi. Look, uh, not that either of you can, but I really wouldn't go in there right now if I were you.

AD: Don't have to tell me twice.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan sits alone in the Weight room at Ultimo Inc.)

Tytan: It's seems I have to face you again Knife at Brawl. You know what I could really care less. In fact I thought the last time I put a pretty Ultimate Beat down on you. So st Brawl you will simply turn out to be another W in the win column for me. But this time they will be using you to whip up the ring with all the blood you will spill.

But now onto other things. Jack guess what? I won. (Laughs) Or did you forget because your head is still ringing. So I decided I beat you once, now I want to punish you. I decided I just don't like you Jack and I want to make an example out of you. So simply put until I face you again in the ring I want to make your life a living hell. Besides, Dr. Podovd wants a chance to put a little revenge on you.

(Looks at the cameraman.)

Now get out of here. I need to get back to my training.

(Fade to Black)

[mooseheadjack]

*SFJ17 catches Outback Jack and Wally at the Destroyitarium, watching as cases of liquor are being unloaded*

SFJ: Outback Jack, how well will you and Gaelic Storm function as a team?

OBJ: I think we'll work well together. Wally did some research, and it seems that a lot of our ancestors emigrated from Ireland!

WBK: Well, technically they were deported.

OBJ: Close enough. Besides, I'm looking forward to training with Gaelic Storm.

SFJ: So you'll be working on tag team wrestling tactics?

OBJ: No, I'm looking forward to working on my capacity for Irish whiskey. We're loading the Destroyitarium up with Powers, Paddys, Jamesons, Bushmills (we're an ecumenical faction), Tullamore Dew, and even some Knappogue.We're sparing no expense!

WBK: Well, the Knappogue may have fallen off a truck, so to speak, along with some nice single malts from Scotland.

OBJ: Right. That reminds me.

*OBJ takes out his phone and places a call. Through the magic of OOWF-TV, we are suddenly switched to a party in progress at the bar in the Fortress of Snobbery, with the World's Gayest Fag Team hosting AA and a number of local dignitaries . Lance is berating the bartender*

Lance: What do you mean the Balvenie, Highland Park, and Bowmore are "missing", you ignorant peasant! Master McCappington left specific instructions for those to be served to his guests and...

*Phone rings*

Lance: Fortress of Snobbery, Lance speaking...to whom do you wish to speak?...a Mr. Jablome?...and his given name is Haywood, sir?...very well...(raising his voice to be heard over the string trio)...HAYWOOD JABLOME?

RH: Well, you're really not my type. Maybe once out of sympathy, but that's it.


*Meanwhile, back at the Destroyitarium*

OBJ: Anyways, Wally, I seem to have angered Ultimo Inc.'s pet ape.

WBK: Apparently so, mate.

OBJ: Guess I'll have to live with that.

WBK: Have you talked to "him" about that?

OBJ: I don't need to.

WBK: Dr. Halfrunt said you and he should talk sometimes, you know, to give "him" an outlet, just so he doesn't try to take over permanently again.

OBJ: He gets to take over sometimes. That's enough. In my last match with LD we actually cooperated for a while, and almost won the title. Besides, what does Dr. Halfrunt know, anyways?

WBK: Dr. Halfrunt's affidavit got you off medication.

OBJ: Which was all "his" fault, anyways, not that I don't appreciate what the Doc did for us. "I" am not psychotic, even if Jack wants to say that I am.

WBK: But "he" did protect you in that reform school until I could get you out.

OBJ: You know I don't like to talk about it.

WBK: But what happened to Monkh must have brought back memories.

OBJ: Wally, drop it. I can handle Tytan by myself. Jack can sit back and watch. Maybe I'll let him take over during the Taipei Fence Match if he promises not to interfere.

WBK: Would you believe him?

OBJ (slams a pint of Smithwick's and belches): I think that's Irish for "probably not" Wally.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG sees The Amnesiac on his way to talk to Eric and Tyson)

CTG: Do you have a moment?

Amn: What, no "Halt, evildoer"?

CTG: This goes well above and beyond that.

Amn: I thought that was your "life"

CTG: It can be. But so is my dedication to Team Rick

Amn: I feel better where I am now. This is more suited to who I really am.

CTG: you were poisoned by the darkness of Gotham City. Listening to the dregs of society tell you things that are not entirely true. We welcomed you with open arms and were willing to work with you but you have walked away.

Amn: (smirks) there's that superherospeak crawling into your words. You think your side is all squeaky clean? I know you've got a side in you too, Concrete. I'm sure Moosehead Jack will tell me about it and maybe I will face it in the ring.

CTG: ......

Amn: now if you'll excuse me, I'll be talking to some fellas who will be helping run this place soon. I'm sorry your little boy scout camp isn't sticking together. (shrugs) who knows, maybe I was a trendsetter.....

(Amn wanders off. CTG decides not to follow and returns to the Team Rick locker room)

[mooseheadjack]

(Z.K. DeBeers emerges from his limo, licking his wounds...)

ZkD: The Bostonian and The Birdman are no better than that second-rate Stank. Regina, come to my room. We need to discuss some... business.

(He walks past the front door of the limo only to get SLAMMED by it as it bursts open, revealing a furious Spin Hansen wielding his crowbar!)

SH: Listen to me, smallballs. NO ONE (he takes a massive swing at DeBeer's knee) calls Stank a servant. NO ONE (he hits the other knee) attacks a member of Drink and Destroy and won't receive retribution from our team. And finally, NO ONE (he hits him in the stomach, doubling him over) gives that piece of shit Josh O'Neal a job. So congratulations, you son of a bitch. You've managed to piss me off. And very, VERY bad things happen when I'm pissed off.

(Spin BLASTS DeBeers with a rabbit punch to the back of the head, and hits a MASSIVE chokeslam onto the hood of the car!)

SH: And there's not a damn thing that you can do about that.

(Spin walks to a motorcycle and drives off.)

[mooseheadjack]

*A car pulls up and Eric O'Mac emerges. He sees an unconscious body on top of a carhood, not seeing the face.*

Eric: Ha.

*Eric walks inside to his locker room.*

[mooseheadjack]

D.H. Magnusson is WALKING!~ through the parking lot of the Saigon Civic Armory Memorial Amory Auditorium Hall, with SFJ18 in tow.

DHM: Naw. I'll tell you Shannon, Phantos and Lucios, they're good guys. It don't take a rocket scientist to see what that mook Bennett thinks he's doin', but all he's really doin' is givin' the best two damned tag teams in the world today a showcase for the fans...Before me an' Spin bring those straps home. Nothin' against Pha -

Magnusson sees the cumpled remains of Z.K. DeBeers heaped on the hood of a nearby parked car

DHM: Give me a sec, will ya, Shannon?

SFJ18: My name's not -

DHM: Thanks.

DHM makes his way over to DeBeers

DHM: Bro...you look like a train ran you over.

ZKDB: Mo....Da....Han...

DHM: Yeah, yeah....You took a swipe at Stank. Not smart, bro....Lotta mean guys around here, and more than a few of like Stank. Lucky for you, I'm a nice guy.

ZKDB: Bu...Sp...Dr...

DHM: Naw, don't let th' chain bother ya none, I'm sweetheart, I like puppies and kitties and everything. Here, let's get ya inside, see if somebody can give ya hand back in th' trainers room.

DHM picks up ZKDB, helping to the rear access door of the arena.

DHM: Those guys, they're alright, but they ain't quite nice. Now me? Me, I'm a nice guy.

DHM opens the door with his free hand, helping ZKDB inside. Once he's halfway through the doorway however, Magnusson slams the door into him repeatedly, first with his hands, then progressing up to a series of straight kicks.

DHM: And I keep bein' a nice guy, unless you take a swipe at one my people. Me an' Stank might not always be best buddies all th' time, but we watch each others back. You take a poke at one of us, y'can be damned sure that we're gonna poke back. Y'get it?

Getting no response, DHM finally kicks the body the rest of the way through the door, listening to it hiss shut.

DHM: 'kay. Where were we Shannon?

SFJ18: Ummm...Actually, you have a call. On my cell phone.

DHM: Huh? Oh thanks.

DHM: (into the phone) Yeah? Oh, hey....Yeah, glad you called. Naw. Ain't no thing. Look lemme find a payphone and call ya back, huh? Naw, just wanna discuss somethin' with you. Yeah, soon as I can. Thanks.

DHM: Look Shannon, I gotta go return that call. Can we do this a little later or somethin'?

SFJ18: Sure, but my name isn't -

DHM: Thanks, doll...You're a good one.

DHM leaves, off in search of a payphone

[mooseheadjack]

*Blitz is in his hotel room, staring at his computer screen. Every 10 seconds or so he hits the refresh button. There’s a knock on the door.*

Blitz: Yeah, come in.

*Eric O’ Mac and Tyson Kincaid enter.*

EOM: Hi, we’re teaming together at the PPV tomorrow night, and we’re trying to get some sleep, but your screaming is keeping us up. It’s 2 am, can you keep it down?

B: IT’S YOUR TURN TO FUCKING [image] ERIC!

EOM: Already? Fuck. Mind if I use your computer? Thanks. He types away at it.

B: YOU TOOK TIGER MASK? FUCK YOUUUUUUUU!!!

EOM: Well you took Finlay and Tommy Dreamer, so you’re no saint yourself.

B: Wanna trade?

EOM: No way. Tiger Mask is way cool. Hey, he’s online. HIT THE REFRESH BUTTON GODDAMNIT!

*5 second silence while the screen loads.*

B: HE TOOK SHANE HELMS! NOOO…

EOM: And I so wanted to feud him with Shane McMahon.

TK: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

B: Shit, I need to take a break.

*Blitz and Eric O’Mac leave the room and storm up and down the lobby, look generally pissed. Tyson Kincaid is just confused. Firewoman walks by and bumps into Blitz.*

FW: Watch where you’re going.

B: You took RVD, you sumbitch.

FW: Whatever. I have things to do than argue with a jobber like you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to cuddle up with Jericho.

EOM: Except you can’t do that, Davin drafted him. First pick and all.

FW: Hey, I’m sure Davin would be willing to share.
B: I wouldn’t count on it. I heard he was pretty set on doing the feud with Shane Helms.

*Firewoman walks up to a door we presume to be Davin Moreland’s, and knocks.*

FW: Davin, can I get Chris Jericho for a minute?

DM: Nope, we’re busy booking his epic feud with The Hurricane.

B: Hey Davin, can you IM The Amnesiac? It’s his turn to pick.

DM: I don’t know, he’s been acting awfully strangely lately.

EOM: Oh yeah, he turned on Crete. Weird.

DM: No, I meant he drafted Shane McMhaon in the first round and then did this weird trade where he just basically moved backwards.

*Firewoman is throwing various objects against the wall due to the loss of her precious Jericho. Blitz, Eric and Tyson head back to their respective rooms. Silence falls, except for screams of [image] and ‘FUCK YOU’ throughout the hotel. All the none-drafters are crying somewhere.*

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF-TV is in the streets of Saigon with SFJ#8 with a crowd of young people.

SFJ: Fans we are here on the street with the local people here in Saigon, Vietnam who are so excited to have us here! Hey buddy! How do you feel having OOWF come right to your home?

Boy: chúng tôi là tại ti-vi! (we're on television!)

SFJ: I think that means he's excited!

Other boy: tôi hy vọng này không phải là một nhiều hơn phim tài liệu về kẻ khó tại chúng tôi thứ ba thế giới nước (I hope this isn't another documentary about the poor people in our third world country.)

Boy: hoặc một riêng về chúng tôi đồ ăn exotic cho một cáp Mỹ trạm (Or a special about our exotic foods for an american cable station.)

Other Boy: như thế nếu chúng nó có quán ăn kia dịch vụ dịch vụ thịt con chó ? chẳng xiết của chúng tôi làm ! chúng nó ăn possum thịt đó và kia là gai mắt càng thêm ! (So what if they have restaurants that serve dog meat? Not all of us do! They eat possum meat over there and that's much more disgusting!)

Another Boy: kia là chân chính! (true dat!)

SFJ: I think the two are arguing over who is going to be world champion after the Pay Per View! Chris Cole or LD Williams! You must be so happy that you finally get to watch a live pro wrestling event here in Vietnam!

Another Boy: gì là thân vật ? (what is pro wrestling?)

Some girl: chúng tôi không bị như thế vật tại nước chúng tôi và nó không phải là biểu lộ ra tại ti-vi (We don't have such thing in our country and it is not shown on TV.)

SFJ: So who do you think is going to walk out of Brawl of Saigon as the World Champion? LD Williams or The Main Event Chris Cole?

Another boy: con chó cái , bạn ngớ ngẩn ! (bitch, you are stupid!)

Girl: tại sao là sưng phồng chị rất lớn và vòng nhưng chị là gầy ? (Why are her breasts so big and round but she's so skinny?)

Other boy: chúng nó giả . tại Mỹ , đàn bà để si líc tại sưng phồng chúng nó đến làm chúng nó lớn . nhưng trái lại , nó cũng làm chúng nó cũng công ty và cứng ép chẹt (They're fake. In America, women put silicon in their breasts to make them big. However, it also makes them too firm and hard to squeeze.)

Boy: thực ? để cho chúng tôi xem . (Really? Let's see)

The boy squeezes SFJ#8's breast and to his surprise it really is firm and hard to squeeze.

SFJ: Sounds like they're having an intense debate on which wrestler will come out on top!

Man: Hey! HEY! Evybody tawk about EL DEE Willyum and Main Event Chlis Coor! Peeple foget best match of show. Danjrous Donavun Vipah and Arexanda Daahring!

SFJ: My goodness! It's former PHWF star Viet Cong Viper! FINALLY! Some one here who can speak English! Sort of.

VCV: Herro and wercome to my country! Vee here in VIET-nam ah happy to have dee best resuleeng company in the world come to our home right here in Ho Chi Minh Cty VIET-nam! Arexanda Daaring, tomorrow at Peh Pah Viyu, you get kill by Vipah! He hurt you like POW! You go down!

SFJ: Ok, I'm beginning to think those rumors that you're actually Donovan Viper is true.

VCV: No! Am Viet Cong Vipah! No Donavun Vipah!

Boy: dường bao tình dục đồng giới ! (what a homosexual!)

VCV: I AM NOT A HOMO! And I'll show you!

Viet Cong Viper grabs SFJ#8's breast (the same one the vietnamese boy grabbed before) and she punches him in the face!

SFJ#8: PERVERT!

And the screen cuts to commercial.

We pan back to the Mobile Fortress of Snobbery where various Bennett Army members are watching OOWF-TV

MHJ: I thought you said you weren't Viet Cong Viper.

DV: I'm not.

FFM3: Looks like it to me.

DV: I'M NOT!

RH: Then why do you all of the sudden have a black eye?

DV: I tripped!

AA: Didn't you go out for some pho this morning? You were gone a long time.

LDW: Yeah, and you even had me watch your Intercontinental Belt while you were gone.

DV: I AM NOT VIET CONG VIPER!

MHJ: Whatever you say. Just make sure you beat Alexander Darling tomorrow. It shouldn't be a problem, since he hasn't acknowledged that he has a title fight this weekend. So stay focused, ok?

DV: Don't worry about me. Darling can go hang out with his sister and trade stats with Lucky all he wants. His eye's not on the prize. Which is me.

RH: That sounded kind of g... (Viper cocks his fist back) great. (Viper relaxes his fist).

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan's just finished up training for today he is being checked out by Dr. Podvod's staff as she is getting ready for today's round of injections.)

Tytan: This is going to be short simple and to the point. Knife I thought I killed you the last time we met. Then you got a shot at the title. I thought the champ then killed you in that match. But it seems like you have a couple of lives to waste or you are just dumb. You better be hoping that you are dumb because this one could be your last life to spare then what are you going to do?

(Heading toward Tytan with the latest injection.)

Podvod: Tytan, I am glad you beat that sleaze Outback Jack.

Tytan: Thanks. But somehow I still feel unfulfilled.

Podvod: Good, because I still want to get some revenge on him. Now do you see what he is up too?

Tytan: Something about a shrink.

Podvod:That explains a lot about him then. Maybe he has a problem dealing with his short comings.

(They laugh.)

Podvod: But seriously, I have an idea that may help us both.

Tytan: I am listening.

(They stop and look at the camera and the camera fades out.)

[mooseheadjack]

It's early in the morning before the PPV, and Lucky is PACING~! outside Firewoman's Locker Room door. A randomly numbered mic stand comes up to him.

RNMS: What are you doing?

L: What does it look like I'm doing!? I'm pacing!

RNMS: We can see that. Why?

L: Why? WHY? My boss is in a Very Dark Place right now, and has locked herself in. No one has seen her for days. Ric's Sandwich Shop is delivering food, but... It's almost like she's been hanging out in a park listening to music with a bunch of hippies or something all weekend....

Kayfabe peeks around the corner and glares at Lucky

L: I said "or something!"

Kayfabe shakes her finger at Lucky and goes back to wherever it is she stays.

RNMS: Are you at all concerned about her upcoming match? The Hell In a Cell against Dead?

L: Of course I'm concerned! But not for her.. well, kind of. I've only been here a short time, but even I can't be sure that this won't be a very bad match for Dead. I don't know if I'll be able to control--

RNMS: Wait, now. Dead is no slouch.

L: No, he isn't. And he's able to match her. But if she takes it to the level where I fear she is right now? They could both end up in serious trouble.

RNMS: At least there will be no outside interference...

L: I don't put it past Bennett's side to not at least give it a try.

At that moment, the door opens, and a tall tattooed man with dreadlocks walks out, carrying what looks like a doctor bag. Lucky blinks for a second, and then goes inside. The RNMS and NinjaCam hover in the doorway.

FW: It's okay, Lucky. Tattoo artist.

L: You got a new one?

FW: Yeah, back piece. Hurt like hell, but the pain allowed me to focus. Last Mayhem? All the stupid backstage shenanigans and mind games got to me. I was distracted, and so totally not on my game.

That is not the case today.

L: But you still look...Angry. I mean "angry-for-you," not your usual level of --

FW: Yes. I am. And I get to use that step in to the ring and take back what is rightfully mine. [She smiles.] And that so totally sparkles with me.

[Looking into, or is that through, the camera] See you in the ring, Dead. Time for you to live up to your name.

[mooseheadjack]

<SFJ13 catches up with Moosehead Jack in the back. Jack is taping his fists>

SFJ13: Moose, you and Justin have both been very quiet this week since he challenged you to a Taipei Death Match, why the sudden silence on your part

MHJ: You know, I have probably been in more of these matches than anyone in the OOWF. I have probably taken years off my career just so I could torture my opponents more than they torture me. I take these matches seriously because there is so much potential for injury. So when Justin Sane challenges me to a Taipei Death Match without even knowing what it is? That annoys me. Now Justin, I don't know if you are just the bravest bastard in the OOWF, or the stupidest, but I guarantee you one thing, after tonight, you will NEVER forget what a Taipei Death Match is.

Trust Me