|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:43:43 GMT -5
*Endo is alone in the locker room, looking ready to go in ring gear, clutching a sock.*
E: Mark Vander, you're a marked man. I may not know what you look like or who your momma was or what your managers look like, but I do know that your car hit me. And I know that when I beat you in that ring I'm going to get a lot of money. This sock *empties sock onto the floor; about 87 cents fall out* is all I have left for the year. I need that money, Mark.
I'm motivated to beat the life out of you, Mark. I will sear your eyes and attack bravely from behind. You'll feel the warm embrace of my forearm across your neck, and the powerful grip of my thighs around your waist. I'll even sing you a lullaby, Mark, just to screw with your mind a little more as you drift out of consciousness. You better have that 100,000 dollars handy Mark. Cause if not, I'm gonna do 100,000 dollars of damage to you and your management team.
*Endo puts the change back into the sock and swings it at the cameraman, knocking him to the floor.* E: "Man, I wish I could spend this dang canuk money somewhere..."
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:44:13 GMT -5
(An OOWF cameraman is running through the offices of Alexander Bensouir and Melissa Lane, chasing Mark Vander as he runs through the halls.)
Cameraman: Slow the hell down! Man, I'm too old for this crap. Mark: HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!
(Mark stops and turns toward the camera....)
Mark: Do you understand, that? Everthing was going great, I was wrestling jobbers and winning matches. But then those STUPID managers had to come in here and put up that $100,000 and now look...I actually have somebody out for my blood. And, plus did you see that hole in that guy's head? I mean, what the hell did I get myself into?!
(Alexander Bensouir comes flying in from off screen, blindsiding Mark with a punch.)
Alexander: You listen to me you SON OF A BITCH! YOU DO EXACTLY as we say. You are our meal ticket. WE OWN YOU!
(Mark gets up, dazed, and staggers backwards.)
Alexander: Woah. Sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. Listen, we KNOW you. We KNOW you can do this, Mark. Endo...he isn't that tough. Oh sure, he talks big. He talks tough. But look at you. You're the master of disaster. You've got a PhD in Pain. You're an undefeated CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, DAMMIT! Mark: Yeah. Maybe you've got something there. I guess....
(Melissa comes into view.)
Melissa: Who wants cake to celebrate our victory? Alexander: I don't think now is a great time for cake. Melissa: Oh, come on. Why not? Alexander: Mark needs to stay light on his feet for this big match. Melissa: Oh, right. How silly of me. Alexander: Mark, we're going to go clean up. Why don't you let the camera know what you think. What you REALLY think.
(Alexander gives him a wink and escorts Melissa away from the camera....)
Mark: Uh...yeah. Endo, I know you're out there, and you must be pretty confident about winning. I mean, look, you're career is certainly more vaunted than mine. And you certainly need this $100,000 more than me. But...here's the the thing. Ever since I was a little kid, my one dream in life, my one aspiration, was to become a pro-wrestler. And here I am. I don't care about this money, or endorsement deals, well, unless they land me a hot...that's not important. What is important, important to me, is getting the chance to wrestle. And I'm not going to let ANYBODY take that away from me. You talk a big talk, Endo, but when it comes to the ring, it's going to take a lot more than a big mouth to knock me down.
I accept your challenge. But understand that the man you'll see isn't the cute Mark Vander of Teddy Bears and Ford Pintos. You'll be facing Mark Vander: Professional Wrestler.
Err...now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go grab a piece of cake before they throw it all out.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:44:36 GMT -5
(Camerman comes across a battered MHJ sitting in a room lit by just a single lightbulb)
MHJ is silent for several seconds
“You know, a great man once said, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. That appears to be the problem we had tonight. There is no way we should have lost to those fools, but we did. Micro, you and I have never seen eye to eye on anything, our paths have never crossed, I have never had issue with you. But no one bails on the Establishment, you left us in the match because you couldn’t handle the action. Let me remind you, son, the Establishment is not Hardbody Harris, the Establishment is not GimmickMan, those two couldn’t hurt butter, the Establishment will end your career. Our paths will cross eventually, but right now, I have more important things to worry about.
Concrete, we are only four days away from the End. We are only four days away from me beating you senseless and walking out of Fearnot as the Intercontinental Champion. You saw the carnage that resulted from Morte and LI whipping Gator and Jack, multiply that by a million, and that’s what I will bring to you. You can recruit all the Dragons, Beasts or Unicorns you want, nothing will save you from Moosehead Jack. Nothing.
Trust me.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:45:04 GMT -5
(CTG is seated on his overstuffed couch back at the condo. He has an ornate chessboard on his coffee table with several figures on it)
Moose, you and I have been at each other's throats for some time now. In that time, I've noted that you have the Establishment at your back to make sure I don't do anything.....untoward to you. But heck, I know you can take it.
(CTG places a minotaur-like figure near the center of the board. He then places four more figures, representing the rest of the Establishment - a wizard for Eco, a troll For Grunt, a shaman for Morte, and a swordsman for LI)
I know better than to face an army alone.
(CTG then places a griffon rampant figure in front of the "Moose" figure. Behind it he places three dragons and an ogre)
Tsk.... that doesn't look fair at all, does it...?
Moose, I know you revel in this little game that we're playing. So let's make it much more interesting.
(CTG removes all but the minotaur and the griffon)
I'd like to make SURE you and I settle this. I stress "You" and "I". I call my boys off, you call your boys off. Ban em from interference.
Then this gets settled once and for all.
Either you crack me.... or I hang you over the fireplace.
I like those odds.... cause This Concrete Don't Crack.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:45:31 GMT -5
(Camera cuts to MHJ in the back in his normal dimly lit room)
Well, well, well Concrete, looks like your little plan to recruit another Dragon didn't work so well, seems like the Establishment still has the numbers advantage. I think you could call that check mate for me.
Enough about that, you claim that you want it to be one on one, no interference from either side, just you and I, Last Man Standing No DQ match for the IC title. Hmm. See normally when you open your mouth to speak, I just assume that stupid will fall out. This time however, you surprised me. See, I don't NEED the Establishment's backing to beat you, but you sure as hell need your merry band of fools to beat me, and you know it. But yet here you are, making an attempt to knuckle up and face me like a man.
Ok, concrete, when you dance with the devil, you go it alone. I'll call off my men, you call off yours. We will settle this, the last man standing walks out of Violent Resolutions as the champ.
<an evil grin spreads across MHJ's face> and don't worry, your buddies won't be carrying you from the arena on their shoulders, the EMT's will be carrying you from the arena on a stretcher
Trust me
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:46:11 GMT -5
*extreme closeup of Niles face*
The day is drawing near. The dawn of the era of the Specimen is upon us. Together with my friends from the Establishment, I think it's become clear that the man with the plan has come in full effect. And now I face Canadian Dragon, my biggest detractor upon my debut. The man who doubted my greatness.
*Camera zooms out and reveals Morte, LI and Grunt are with Niles. Grunt's arm seems awkwardly positioned offscreen, as if holding something in the air*
See these guys. Sure you do. Just some of the benefits you get from joining the Establishment. Regular protection. But they won't be coming to the ring with me. Oh no, I can take you out on my own. I have them here for a different reason.
*Zoom out even further and it is revealed that Grunt is holding a bloodied Eric O'Mac*
Now isn't this interesting. We have your tag partner here. We figured we'd drop by and give him a visit, just to give you an example of what's gonna happen to you. He might not even be able to make his match with Axeman this weekend. Too bad. Or maybe you don't care? I mean, he did eliminate you from the #1 Contender battle royal, didn't he? So maybe I'm doing you a favour here?
*Niles turns to face Eric and grabs him by the hair to get his attention*
Isn't that right Eric. I mean, why else would I do this? Spite? Maybe, but you gotta wonder why your buddy isn't here. You gotta wonder if he's smiling on the other end.
*Niles gives Eric a cocky pat on the cheek and then turns back to the camera as it zooms back into an extreme closeup*
What you see here, Dragon, isn't a "myth". This is reality. See, I back my talk with actions and it's time I take my place here. This is merely an example to be set for those not not f*** with me and mine. And what happened to your "buddy" here is just an example of what's going to happen to you. Enjoy the concrete from afar for now, Dragon, because you're about to meet it face to face this weekend.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:46:40 GMT -5
CD laughs.
CD: "See Niles, this is why nobody ever makes the mistake of calling you smart. See, I don't like Eric. In fact, I never have. It was actually your boyfriend Eco was made me team up with Eri when I got sick and tired of facing some other dragon week after week. So I don't care about what you do to him...and I don't care what Eric thinks of that."
CD shakes his head as he moves in front of Niles shiny new car.
CD: "See Niles, I don't care if you beat up Eric....and I don't if "you and yours" beat up me. See Niles. I said awhile ago that I was going back to my roots...and I am. We have people in flaming caskets, people biting the heads off eels, and some guy who calls himself the beast giving the OOWF a boatload of entertainment....but Niles, I' going to deliver the WRESTLING."
CD picks up a sledgehammer.
CD: "But just to show you that I can be entertaining...."
CD slams the sledge through the windshield. He then continues to smash in the windows and doors as he continues to talk.
CD: "I bet that your the tpy of conceited f*ck that dreams about a nice shiny car, aren't you Niles? Thinking about how cool it will make you look, and how all the sexy girls will drool over it and over look your lack of manhood. See Niles, this car that I am turning in to a piece of shit....THIS matter to YOU! And now Niles, your car is just like your career....what once was a dream is a nightmare. Sweet dreams Niles."
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:49:38 GMT -5
OOWF Violent Resolutions PPV – Live from Fearnot Pennsylvania
Carl Coolname & Chris Alt vs. The Philly Satanic & “Cheesesteak” Tony DaVida
First match for a couple of new comers. CC starts first with TPS, CC grabs a side headlock, TPS shoots him to the ropes, CC reverses it, catches TPS with a belly-to-belly suplex on the way back. Quick tag to Chris Alt, CA springboards over the top rope and drops a leg across TPS. No cover, CA hits the ropes and connects with a lionsault, CA covers but Tony DaVida breaks it up. CA comes off the ropes going for a clothesline on TPS, but TPS catches him with a black hole slam. TPS doesn’t attempt a cover, instead he tags in TD. TD comes in and drops an elbow, quick cover for a one count. Both men to their feet, exchange punches to the mouth, CA dropkicks TD in the mouth, he flails backward and falls out of the ring. CA tags CC back into the ring. TD is back on the apron; CC grabs the top rope and brings TD in the hard way. TPS is jawing with the crowd, so CC waits then super kicks him in the mouth knocking him off the apron. CC tags in CA and waits, as TD gets to his feet and turns around, CC super kicks him in the mouth, when he turns to fall, CA, the legal man, kicks him in the midsection, and lands the Tiger driver. CA covers, CC knocks TPS off the apron, the ref counts three. WINNERS in 3:33 Carl Coolname & Chris Alt
CHRIS COLE vs. SMARK vs. BRAD SMOLEY
CC and S immediately take BS out of the equation with some quick double teaming culminating in a tag team spine buster. They then square off and after some quick chain wrestling, S gets the advantage. While stomping away at CC, he retrieves a sheet of paper from his trunks. He locks in the weakest looking chin lock variation ever witnessed, but you couldn't tell by CC's expression. S rambles on for a few minutes until he is interrupted by Smoley simply tripping and falling on him, nearly snapping his neck beneath his immense body weight. As S yells about blown spots, CC kicks him out of the ring. He intentionally Irish whips BS into the ref and rolls on the outside. "No sell this, bitch!!" CC yells as he goes ROCK ON MICK FOLEY circa Royal Rumble. Once S is reduced to an incoherent mumbling shell of him self. CC rolls him back in for the easy three count. WINNER in 4:28 Chris Cole
MARK VANDER vs. ENDO
Vander and his management team come to the ring first. They appear to be arguing about something, finally a nearby camera picks up Alexandra saying, “It is all about product placement, they pay a lot of money for you to sponsor them, NOW HOLD UP THEIR PRODUCT AND SMILE!” With that Vander pulls out the jumbo can of Industrial Strength Ass Crème, smiles real big and gives the thumbs up. A cameraman takes the picture, and Vander drops the product and hangs his head in shame. While Vander is standing in the ring, the lights take on a weird black light, bathing the arena in an eerie glow, there is a huge explosion and strobe light fills the entire arena, after a few seconds it stops. When it does, Endo is in the ring standing behind Vander. Endo attacks from behind sending Vander into the corner. Endo follows it up with chops and punches sending Vander to the mat. Endo looks possessed as he batters Vander with kicks and stomps away on his face. Vander finally bails out of the ring, trying to catch his breath, his feet barely touch the floor when Endo grabs his hair and pulls him back into the ring. Endo whips Vander into the corner and follows it up with a big clothesline. Vander staggers out of the corner and Endo catches him with a choke slam. Cover gets two. Endo picks up Vander and slings him over his shoulder; running power slam gets another two count. While Vander regains his senses Endo climbs the ropes and leaps, and comes crashing down across the back of Vander’s neck. Endo covers again, another two count. Vander kicks out again, Endo picks up Vander and whips him to the ropes, Vander reverses and catches Endo with a clothesline, Endo staggers but does not fall, another clothesline staggers Endo to the ropes. Vander comes off the far ropes and clotheslines Endo over the top, both men crash to the floor. Endo is up first, and gets Vander to his feet, Endo tries to send Vander to the post, Vander reverses it and Endo crashes into the post. He staggers back a few steps and shakes his head but will not go down. Vander comes up behind Endo and clotheslines him in the back of the head; Endo crashes face first into the post, this time he goes down. Vander slides back into the ring to catch his breath. After a few minutes, Endo is back on the ring apron and Vander brings him in the hard way with a towering vertical suplex. Vander covers, but only gets one. Vander is up and waiting, Endo slowly gets to his feet, Vander comes off the ropes with a clothesline from hell, Endo is down, Vander covers but only gets two. Vander plays to the crowd, while his management team screams at him to pin him, pin him! Vander picks up Endo and chops him until they are both backed into the corner. Vander grabs Endo, and climbs the ropes setting up for a tornado DDT. Before he can finish the move, Endo pulls his head out, reaches up and applies the claw to Vander’s forehead, Endo climbs the bottom rope for leverage, picks up Vander by the head, and claw slams him off the top rope. Vander and Endo crash to the mat, Endo still has the claw locked on, Vander is screaming in pain as blood begins to flow from his head. The ref starts counting Vander’s shoulders down; he gets his foot on the ropes. The ref is trying to get Endo to break the claw hold, but he can’t see the ref, his eyes have rolled into the back of his head, he is staring up at the ceiling and he has this sick gaping grin on his face. The ref begins the five count, Endo doesn’t even move, Vander is bleeding heavily. The ref reaches five and calls for the bell. WINNER in 7:01 by DQ – Mark Vander After the match Endo breaks the hold, and rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the back, still wearing the evil grin and looking toward the ceiling and smearing Vander’s blood all over his face and chest. In the ring, Vander’s management team celebrate, they help Vander to his feet, then see how badly he is bleeding and recoil in fear, Vander collapses to the mat. Vander’s management team grabs the mic. “Lets hear it for our client MARK VANDER (some crowd cheers) lets look at what this man has accomplished here in the OOWF -He is Undefeated! -He is the Osaka Big Power Wrestling Super Junior Ultra Lightweight Champion, having defeated Hellion -He is the IWC World Heavyweight Champion defeating Smark for that title -He is the North Carolina State RidgeRunner World Champion, defeating the world renowned “Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard -And as of tonight, with his magnificent victory over the indomitable Endo, he claims the Amish Justice League World Heavyweight Championship!!
Lets hear it for Mark Vander!!!!”
Alexandra puts the mic to Vander “whaddya say champ?” <V-“I, I need medical help, please call a doctor.” Ewwwwww
VIPER vs. BLADE w/AYAKA
Quick lock up and B forces V into the corner. V rakes the eyes and stomps B's knee. A couple of haymakers are followed by a clothesline that B ducks and counters with a drop kick. Chops and punches on V, but he manages to catch B's kick and pull him into a Capture Suplex. 2 count and V locks in the chin lock/knee to back combo. B fights out with a back suplex. Both men down and B up at six. Both exchange punches, V gains advantage and shoots B into the ropes, B ducks a big boot and counters with a super kick. 2 count followed by a quick cover. B up first and sweeps V off his feet. Somersault leg drop connects for another 2 count. DDT attempt by B countered into a Russian Leg Sweep and float over mounted punches. V fakes an Irish whip and pulls B into a T-Bone suplex that Tazz would be proud off. Springboard splash ala Vader gets 2. B recovers enough to pull V into the middle turnbuckle. B then runs up his back and a corkscrew moonsault connects with V's back. Long two count. Viper bails and hides behind Ayaka. He shoves her into B and rolls back in. Ensuring she is okay, B rolls back in and is met with repeated sledgehammer blows across the back. Viper hits the 2 rolling DDT's and culminates with a leaping DDT. Too close to the ropes and ref spots B's leg. Spinning neck breaker followed by a knee to the throat garners a two count for V. B fights from his knees but gets his eyes raked. B explodes with an uppercut. Quick as a hic up, he sweeps V, hits a rolling Senton bomb, and then springs from the top rope into a moonsault. Another 2 count. B fakes an Irish whip of his own and sends V into the mat with a toe trip. Attempts a hammerlock but V rolls through with a reversal. V pops the hips and hits a picture perfect overhead belly-to-belly. Brushes off his hands and sets up the DEATH ELBOW~! B ducks it and hits a Ghetto Blaster. Both men down but V up first with stiff kicks to B's legs and mid section. He sends B in, who counters with an Asai moonsault over V's head. Northern Lights Suplex gets a two count. B signals for RYUSHIN~! But Viper rolls him up. Kick exchange goes in B's favor and V crumples to the mat. Attempted flying forearm connects with the ref and V rolls out as B attends to him. Crowd boos as V pie faces Ayaka and steals the bat. Swings but misses as B drops the mat. Ayaka in with the upper nut. B retrieves the bat, looks at it, and then hands it back to Ayaka who gives him a quizzical look before leaving. Ref coming to and B connects with the RYUSHIN~! Blade is your winner. WINNER in 18:47 – Blade
GIMMICKMAN & HARDBODY HARRIS vs. ECOSYSETEM & GRUNT
HH and Eco lock up. HH transitions into a hammerlock then a headlock. Eco fires him towards the ropes, but HH levels him with a shoulder block. He runs the ropes, leap frogs Eco and thwarts an attempted hip toss with a hip toss/neck breaker combo. Grunt runs in as the crowd cheers and HH back body drops him. He shakes his knee and tags in GM. Arm wringer locked in and the point of the elbow driven into Eco's shoulder. Four shoulder blocks are followed by an arm drag and immediately a cross arm breaker is applied. Grunt breaks that up and Eco tags the big man in. GM's punches have no effect and he is sent hard into the corner. He avoids an avalanche and retaliates with punches, chops and European Uppercuts. Double knee to the face staggers the big man. Rebound off the ropes however is counted by Grunt's Sunday Night Special (Baldo Bomb) HH breaks it up. GM avoids and big boot that traps the big man's leg across the top rope. HH in with some kicks to the afflicted leg. HH is shoved hard and catches a vicious haymaker to the face. Grunt tags in Eco who breaks up an HH rally with a kick to the knee. As he favors his joint, Eco snap mares him, kicks him in the chest, then drops a knee across his knee. Torques it with a standing knee lock and drops an elbow across it. Stops to taunt the crowd and HH slowly gets to his feet. Chop block knocks HH right back to the mat. Grunt in and lifts HH by the leg. He drives the knee into the mat twice before hitting a big splash across HH's legs. GM breaks up the fall and gets leveled by a Grunt lariat. Grunt attempts a power bomb, but HH is able to counter with a sunset flip. Grunt powers out and drags HH to his corner. HH connects with an enziguri and makes the slow crawl. Eco in and jumps on HH's knee to slow him down. Locks in the figure four in the middle of the ring. GM gets the crowd into it as a deafening "Let's Go Harris" chant rumbles through the arena. HH sits up, punches Eco a few times then reverses the pressure. Diving lunge and GM is in with a springboard dropkick to that staggers the illegal Grunt. HH back in and they hoist the monster up with a double team suplex. Eco runs into a GM tilt a whirl back breaker and HH knee drops his across the throat. Clubbing blows by Grunt as HH is forced out of the ring. His Irish whip is countered into a toe trip. A GM dropkicks sends him out through the middle ropes. HH from the apron with a leaping BG Memorial Face Buster (Fameasser) as GM stalks Eco. One SPARTAN PLUNGE~! later and GM an HH are victorious. WINNERS in 8:14 Hardbody Harris & GimmickMan
NILES ANDERSON vs. CANADIAN DRAGON
Quick start as both men exchange rights and lefts. Irish whip and CD counters with a head scissors. NA up with a shove and CD replies with a straight right to the jaw. NA staggers and catches a few more before being whipped into the ropes. He reverses a hurricanrana into a pinning power bomb but only gets a two. Hard rights and a DDT sends CD down for another quick counter. Another DDT countered into a Downward Spiral/Flat Liner like move. CD hits a from the apron leg drop that gets a two. Immediately goes to work with forearms and an Irish whip which he turns into a tilt a whirl slam. Reverse DDT gets another 2 count and he mounts NA for some punches. NA bails as CD basks in the crowds’ cheers. NA turns and side steps a plancha. Rolls in, and CD barely gets in a ten. Arm wringer by NA and a front trip. Fujiwar arm bar forces CD to grab the ropes. NA works the arm with stomps and a hammerlock power slam. Knee drop to the shoulder is followed by shoulder torquing arm bar. CD fights his way up and hits a huge back body drop. Some stomps and are followed by a beautiful drop kick. Tries to pull NA up, but NA with the single arm DDT. Niles sets up the STEED DT~! but CD counters with another back body drop. Hard rights and a spinning DDT of his own. CD is up and catches NA with a drop kick to the side of NA's head. NA up and staggers CD. Attempts a power slam, but CD wriggles free with an inverted DDT. Goes up top and hits the DRAGON SAULT~! 1, 2, and the arena is plunged into darkness. The light back on and Eco yanks CD out of the ring. Inverted Twist of Fate on a chair and he roles CD back in. Eco has the zebra stripes on, he jumps in the ring. STEED DT~! and the count is academic. WINNER in 6:49 Niles Anderson
ERIC O’MAC vs. AXE-MAN
Before the match starts, Eco comes out and announces that since Eric never agreed to a falls count anywhere match, most likely cause his sac is smaller than a pair of shriveled raisins, he can not legally sanction the falls count anywhere match, therefore, it will have to remain a standard wrestling match.
EOM is still not 100% after his attack at the hands of Niles and the rest of the Establishment. EOM is still sporting a bandage on his head and visible bruises. Ax attacks from behind to start the match, he immediately targets EOM’s knee and drops elbows on the knee, finally laying across it and wrenching it up. EOM is in pain, but shifts his weight, locks his other leg around Ax and begins to roll around the ring. After several seconds, EOM stops with Ax in a pinning position, although he is dizzy, Ax is able to kick out at two. EOM is to his feet first, he springboards off the ropes and spin kicks Ax in the mouth. Ax is down; EOM goes to the ropes again and hits a moonsault for a two count. EOM is keeping the pace fast, keeping Ax a bit off balanced. Ax is to his feet; EOM hits a perfect dropkick that sends Ax over the top rope. EOM waits a second then flies over the top rope with a suicide dive. Both men are down on the outside. Ax is slow to get to his feet, and is looking under the apron for something. He gets to his feet concealing a weapon, EOM charges and tries a spin kick, AX ducks the move, and while EOM is still in the air, he takes the weapon, a lead pipe, and slams it across the side of EOM’s knee. EOM collapses to the floor in pain, Ax tosses the pipe back under the ring, and slides back in the ring to regain his composure. When the ref reaches 9 EOM is able to slide under the bottom rope. Ax pounces on EOM and grinds his elbow across EOM’s face and digs it into his throat. Finally he just lays his elbow across EOM’s throat, choking him out. He breaks before the DQ. Ax picks up EOM and sends him to the ropes, EOM takes a few steps and his knee buckles, Ax seizes the opportunity and chop blocks EOM taking his knee out. EOM is in pain. Ax picks on the leg by applying a spinning toehold; he breaks it and reapplies it several times, each time giving it more torque. EOM finally makes it to the ropes, but his knee is toast. Ax goes after the leg again, when he bends down to pick up the leg, EOM kicks him in the head. Ax staggers; EOM pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. Ax is to his feet, EOM kicks Ax in the midsection, but Ax catches his foot. EOM quickly turns it into a ghetto blaster, both men are down. EOM pulls himself up and staggers into the corner. Ax gets to his feet and charges at EOM, EOM gets a foot up and Ax eats a big boot. AX flops out of the corner flat on his back, EOM scales the ropes and hits the frog splash. The momentum of the move, and EOM's knee crashing on the mat cause him to grab his knee in agony and hesitate going for the pin, when he finally covers, Ax is able to kick out at two. Both men are slow to get to their feet. EOM tries to kick Ax in the midsection again, this time Ax catches his foot and turns it into a dragon leg whip. Ax follows it up by locking on the STF. EOM is trapped in the middle of the ring, and Ax is wrenching up pain on his knee, EOM is about to tap when HH comes on the MamOOth-Tron. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at Ax. Ax breaks the hold and goes to the ropes to yell at the MamOOth-Tron. This lapse in concentration allows EOM to creep up behind Ax and roll him up for the three count! WINNER in 15:04 Eric O’Mac EOM’s celebration is short lived; Ax chop blocks the knee again sending EOM to the canvas. Ax quickly locks on the figure four, putting huge pressure on that injured knee. After a few minutes HH hits the ring and chases off Ax. The two have a stare down, HH in the ring, and Ax on the ramp, Ax turns to walk away, HH turns to tend to EOM. Ax grabs a chair and slides back into the ring. Before he can react, Ax slams the chair down across HH’s head. HH falls to the mat, and Ax celebrates as he leaves the ring and heads back up the ramp. HH is holding his head, glaring at Ax.
DRAGONS vs. HELLION & CORAX – Non-title, no DQ match
The four men don’t wait for the bell before they tear into each other. Hellion and Blackdragon trade shots inside the ring, Souldragon and Corax tumble out of the ring. Inside, H and BD exchange chop after chop until both men’s chests are full of welts. Finally Hellion gets the advantage by going to the eyes and not just a poke to the eyes either, Hellion has his finger buried into BD’s eye, BD is on the mat writhing in pain, Hellion is trying to gouge BD’s eye out. SD notices that his partner is in trouble, but so is he; he is on his knees after taking a hard chair shot from Corax. SD grabs Corax tights and slingshots him into the steel barricade. SD rolls under the ropes and dropkicks Hellion off of his partner. SD picks up Hellion and drops him with a DDT, BD climbs the ropes and connects with a swan dive head but. Before he can attempt a pin, Corax is back in the ring with a chair. SD charges, but just eats a chair to the head. Blackdragon spin kicks the chair out of Corax hands, drops him with a head but and locks on the cross face. He only has the hold on for a few seconds when Hellion grabs the chair and slams it across BD’s back. BD falls from the ring, and Hellion and Corax focus on SD. Corax sends SD to the ropes and catches him with a wicked spine buster, at the same time Hellion is climbing the ropes, Corax lays the chair across SD’s face and Hellion connects with a leg drop. Hellion goes for the cover, but BD reaches in and pulls SD to safety. With the dragons outside the ring, both Hellion and Corax go for top rope suicide dives. At the last second both dragons scurry under the ring. Hellion and Corax crash to the concrete floor. The Dragons quickly reappear. SD grabs Corax and rolls him back into the ring; BD picks up Hellion and slams him on the Mennonite Announce table. Inside the ring SD sends Corax into the ropes and stuns him with a super kick to the mouth. Outside the ring, BD has Hellion on top of the table; he goes behind and nails a perfect tiger suplex, both men crash through the table. Inside, SD has Corax trapped in the corner and is chopping away, Corax reverses the move and has SD pinned in the corner. Corax whips SD into the opposite corner, SD scales the ropes and back flips, Corax anticipated the move, and kneels, SD crashes down across Corax’ knee. SD is in great pain. Corax picks him up and nails a great cradle pile driver. Hellion and SD are still laid out outside the ring. Corax climbs the ropes and drops a leg across SD’s midsection. Corax goes for the cover but can only get two. By now Hellion and Blackdragon are slowly making their way back to the ring. Hellion makes his way to the apron, Corax tries to whip SD into the ropes, but SD reverses it sending Corax crashing into Hellion. Hellion flies off the ropes and crashes into the guardrail. SD grabs Corax and drops him with another DDT. Blackdragon has recovered and climbs the ropes and connects with a swan dive head but. Blackdragon covers, the ref counts one, two, out of nowhere LI hits the ring and attacks BD. LI blows mist into BD’s face. SD tries to make the save but Morte cuts him off. Morte grabs him from behind and hits a reverse brain buster. Not to be outdone, GatorBait and Outback Jack hit the scene. Hellion and Corax are now in the ring, OBJ and GB attack them as well. GB stomps on Corax, and OBJ clotheslines Hellion from behind, all eight men are battling in the ring. Morte German Suplexes SD, LI and BD tumble from the ring, OBJ and Hellion are battling outside the ring, Hellion charges, but OBJ backdrops him onto the concrete floor. Inside the ring, LI thrust chops Corax and then leave the ring, LI grabs a chair and swings, Corax ducks and low blows LI. Back inside GB picks up SD and crushes him with the chomp. Corax sees his opportunity, grabs the chair and drags himself back into the ring, a chair shot to the back knocks GB over the ropes, Corax collapses backward and falls on top of SD. SD is still stunned from the chomp and cannot kick out. Three seconds later it is over. WINNERS in 38:01 Hellion & Corax
After the match all eight men continue to brawl. Finally officials flood the area and separate the wrestlers. They move the Dragons and Hellion and Corax up the ramp, meanwhile back at ringside, Morte & LI and Outback & GatorBait watch as the cage begins to descend.
LD WILLIAMS vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER
Bell rings and immediate lock up. LD grabs a hammerlock, but AA reverses it into one of his own. LD rolls out of it into a quick arm drag. AA nods his head as the lock up again. LD avoids the collar and elbow lock up and quickly gets behind AA. AA attempts to break the hold but LD hits the Greco- roman belly to back take down and immediately floats into a headlock, which is immediately countered into a hammerlock. LD reverses out of this with a Lucha Libre like snap mare. LD ducks a clothesline, attempts a belly-to-belly suplex but is reversed into a hip toss. AA locks in the rear naked choke and rolls onto his back for the two count. Both mean up and AA back down quickly with an arm drag. AA lands on his feet after a second attempt but is leveled with a clothesline. LDW pounces on AA and locks on a side headlock, AA quickly rolls his shoulders and has LDW in a pinning position, ref counts two, LDW rolls back over. AA gets to his feet and shoots LDW into the ropes, AA puts his head down too soon, and LDW grabs him and rolls him up with a small package, two count by the ref. Both men to their feet, AA charges, LDW catches him with an arm drag, and locks on an arm bar. AA is getting frustrated. AA works his way to his feet, LDW reverses it into a backslide for another two count. Both men quickly up to their feet, AA rakes the eyes, he gets a warning from the ref. AA grabs LDW, but LDW explodes, grabs AA and stuns him. LDW picks up AA and sends him to the ropes, spinebuster gets a two count. AA rolls out of the ring in frustration. AA is on the floor leaning against the apron, when LDW reaches out to pull him in, AA blasts him with a chain. LDW tumbles back into the ring, the ref didn’t see anything. AA attacks choking LDW in the ring, the ref gets to four before AA breaks the count. AA sends LDW to the ropes and catches him with a big back body drop. AA follows it up with a suplex, then trying for a submission, AA locks on the bow and arrow. After several minutes, LDW will not tap; AA breaks the hold, positions himself behind LDW and applies the Stump Puller. LDW screams in agony, but will not quit. AA is getting more and more frustrated, he whips LDW into the ropes and connects with a stiff clothesline. AA picks up LDW and smashes him to the mat with a brutal DDT, AA makes the arrogant cover, LDW is able to roll his shoulder at two. AA is furious, he argues with the referee and nearly gets disqualified. In frustration AA picks up LDW for a pile driver, in 1970 the pile driver was illegal in wrestling, while AA is arguing with the ref about the legality of the move, LDW reverses the pile driver, picks up AA and leg slams him (a pile driver into a spine buster) rolls through and bridges, AA is so stunned he cannot kick out, the ref counts three. WINNER in 11:04 LD Williams After the match AA rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair and slams it across LDW’s head. AA sends LDW into the ropes catches him with a spine buster and locks on the claw. LDW screams in pain, blood begins to flow from LDW’s head. Suddenly out comes, Moosehead Jack? Jack grabs the chair and caves AA’s head in, knocking him out of the ring. Through the blood, LDW sees MHJ and gets to his feet ready for a fight. MHJ stands for a second, grins an evil grin at LDW, drops the chair and rolls out of the ring, Jack takes a seat at the Shaker Announce Table, after all his match is next. LDW stands and looks confused for a moment, then leaves the ring; the whole way back he keeps shooting MHJ confused looks.
Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG – Last Man Standing, No DQ IC Title match
MHJ and CTG come to the center of the ring and stare at each other. The two are jawing trading insults. Just as they are about to lock up and get the beatings started, the MamOOth-Tron goes to static, then comes to life:
"Live via satellite - Semaj appears on the screen, his image is slightly pixilated. It appears that he is in some kind of control room, with monitors in the background, many of them are smashed and some of the consoles are sending off random sparks.
SB: My apologies to the production crew, I 'ad to 'ack into the OO satellite link up and piggy-back my retrograde signal push on the encrypted download rate stream via a firewall backdoor to send this. I only 'ave a few things to say and then I'll be off your bandwidth.
First off, let me say to my friend and partner Concrete, congratulations! That was a grueling Iron Man match, but your strength of character pulled you through. I'm CERTAIN that you'll 'ave Moose'ead Jack well in hand for your match.
Next Jack, you're an insignificant, pathetic, second-rate thug. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you think that your the wolf, but you are just one of the flock. The real Establishment didn't even come to your aid at the Triple Threat; instead it was the newest in a long line of weak-willed, over-rated, untalented henchmen you needed to help you. Now I 'ave some business to take care of, but know this: I 'ave not, do not, and will not forget whot you've done to me. Your streak of may'am and destruction are about to come to screeching 'alt. When I am done, you and any others who 'ave crossed me will remember the name of Bondutahajaranishta, Semaj Bondutahajaranishta.”
The video goes black, MHJ is seething, staring at the screen, CTG takes advantage of MHJ’s distraction and attacks from behind. CTG sends MHJ to the ropes and catches him with a spear; MHJ’s head slams into the canvas knocking him silly. Out of instinct CTG goes for the quick pin, the ref has to remind him that there are no pin falls. CTG rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair; CTG slams the chair across Jack’s back. Jack yells in pain, CTG keeps it up two, three, four shots across MHJ’s back. Finally MHJ bails out of the ring, CTG drops the chair and follows him. CTG grabs MHJ and slams his head into the guardrail. CTG climbs on the apron and drops a leg on MHJ. CTG grabs the announcer mic cord and chokes moose. After several seconds MHJ appears to go limp. CTG lets go and the ref starts to count. The ref gets to eight before MHJ gets to his feet. CTG grabs moose again and slams him on the Quaker Announce Table. CTG climbs on the table as well and mounts MHJ and pummels him with shots to the face. Both men get to their feet on top of the table; CTG grabs MHJ by the neck and shorts and sends him flying off the table with enough force that MHJ hits the ring post. MHJ hits it headfirst and collapses to the floor. By the time the camera catches up with the action, MHJ is already bleeding from the forehead. The ref begins the count; MHJ is able to get to his feet at 7. CTG charges, but MHJ catches him with a back body drop. Now it is MHJ’s turn to be on the offensive. Jack reaches under the ring and pulls out some plunder, in the can is a cheese grater, Jack violently rips the grater across CTG’s forehead several times, drawing copious amounts of blood. Jack picks up CTG and slams his head into the steel steps, then drops him with a DDT on the concrete floor. MHJ doesn’t let the ref count, opting instead to pick up a broom handle and slam it repeatedly across CTG’s back. Jack puts the broom handle under CTG’s throat and pulls back, choking the breath out of CTG. MHJ waits for CTG to get to his knees then swings the broom handle like a baseball bat, cracking it right into CTG’s skull. CTG grabs his skull and collapses. MHJ steps back and the ref begins his count. At nine CTG is able to get to his feet, but a new cut right along his left temple is opened up and bleeding. MHJ smells the blood and goes in for the kill. MHJ grabs the mic cord and wraps it around CTG throat, also threading it around the ring post. With one hand he keeps the pressure on the cord, keeping CTG pinned to the ring post by his throat. With the other arm, he reaches around and repeatedly clotheslines CTG across the face, blood flows from CTG’s nose, it might be broken. There is no give; MHJ’s clotheslines slam into CTG’s face. After numerous shots, MHJ releases the cord and CTG falls to the arena floor. The ref counts again; CTG barely makes it to his feet at nine, MHJ charges and connects with a clothesline, CTG slides across the floor and slams into the guardrail. MHJ sets up CTG for a pile driver on the concrete floor, before he can finish it, CTG reverses it into a backdrop and sends MHJ over the guardrail and into the crowd. Both men are down and the ref begins to count. MHJ is up at 7, CTG is up right after. MHJ grabs CTG and tries to pull him over the guardrail and into the crowd. CTG pokes MHJ in the eyes, grabs MHJ by the head and slams it down across the steel rail. MHJ tumbles back into the seats, CTG collects himself and climbs over the guardrail, MHJ is sitting up, blood running out of his mouth, spitting out teeth. With MHJ focused on his bleeding mouth, he doesn’t notice CTG, who takes the opportunity to kick MHJ in the teeth, blood flies everywhere. CTG picks up another chair and slams it across MHJ’s head, Jack is down, but before the ref can start a count, CTG attacks again, CTG mounts MHJ and slams his head against the concrete floor. CTG gets up to allow the ref time to count and to look for another weapon. The ref gets to six and MHJ is back to his feet. Just as he gets up, CTG attacks from behind with a kendo stick. MHJ tries to escape, but CTG chases him through the crowd smashing the kendo stick across his back the whole way. Huge red welts rise on MHJ’s back; a few of them split and begin bleeding. CTG catches up with MHJ and whips him into the wall, Jack hits the wall back first and slides to the floor leaving a bloody trail of blood down the wall. CTG charges at the helpless MHJ and knees him in the face. MHJ’s head slams into the wall, then MHJ slumps over on the floor. The ref begins the count, MHJ struggles, but gets to his feet before the ten count. CTG runs up from behind MHJ and bulldogs him onto the concrete floor. CTG picks up another chair and chokes Jack with it. The two are back to their feet, and battle to the back of the arena. CTG whips Jack into a steel garage door, he charges again, but Jack moves and CTG slams into the door. Jack picks up CTG and heart punches him. CTG falls to the floor clutching his side, the ref begins the count, CTG gets to his feet before he is counted out. Jack attacks again and the two battle up a short flight of steps into what appears to be a manager’s office. Once inside, CTG slams MHJ into the file cabinet, knocking it over, CTG then picks up a computer monitor and throws it down on MHJ, the monitor just misses a direct shot on MHJ’s head, it does graze him and open a new gash. CTG climbs on top of the desk and splashes MHJ, Jack clutches his side, Jack gets to his knees, CTG nails a shining wizard kick and Jack falls to the floor again. The ref begins his count, MHJ is up at nine, CTG comes after Jack again, Jack picks up a metal wastebasket and slams it into CTG’s head, MHJ grabs CTG and DDT’s him on the fallen metal file cabinet. Jack quickly picks up CTG and throws him on top of the manager’s desk. Jack follows him up and pile drives CTG through the desk. The ref begins to count, MHJ slumps in the corner confident that the match is over. Somehow CTG is up before the ten count. Jack charges and slams into CTG, CTG flies through the plate glass window, there is now blood and glass everywhere. Jack looks through the wreckage of the desk and comes up with a pair of scissors. Jack attacks again, trying to stab CTG with the scissors, CTG is able to get his hands up, he takes several shots to the arms, drawing more blood, but Jack cannot get the finishing shot. Jack steps back and charges pinning CTG against the wall, Jack has the scissors against CTG’s throat and is trying to cut his throat! CTG saves himself by kneeing MHJ in the midsection; Jack drops the scissors, but falls into a pile of glass from the window. The two glare at each other for a second, CTG grabs the scissors, MHJ grabs a big piece of glass, the two attack each other with fury, they are rolling across the floor each one trying to stab the other, as they roll a trail of blood follows their progress across the concrete floor. Finally the two separate, MHJ looks for another weapon and quickly finds a length of chain, he wraps the chain around his fist and attacks CTG again, slamming CTG in the forehead with the mammoth tow chain. CTG falls to the floor and the ref begins to count. At nine, again, CTG makes it to his feet, enraged, Jack attacks again, punching CTG and sending him through the door to the stairwell. In a replay of their last encounter, Jack holds CTG and heart punches him, CTG tumbles down the stairs to the landing. CTG is not moving, but for some reason Moose will not let the ref count. Moose takes the chain and wraps it around CTG’s neck and tosses him over the railing. CTG manages to catch himself on a rail before he jerks to an end of the chain. It is at least two floors down, with junk, it appears to be a stack of old tables, metal barrels and boxes of old arena supplies at the bottom. Jack stomps on CTG’s hand forcing CTG to let go, CTG is now hanging by the throat, blood spewing out of his head. Using the last of his strength, CTG grabs the bottom railing and skins the cat. CTG grabs Moose by the head and pulls him over the railing! MHJ is able to grab CTG’s ankle as he falls pulling CTG off with him, they both fall the remaining two floors and slam into the debris at the bottom. Neither man is moving at all. The ref stands stunned for a moment. Officials make up his mind for him as they flood the area and call for medical personnel. The ref makes a quick ten count, neither man moved. WINNER – Draw in 55:12
MORTE & LI vs. GATORBAIT & OUTBACK JACK
JP: This is no ordinary cage match. Nor is it a normal Hell In A Cell contest. In order to win this match, both members of a team must be standing atop this demonic structure simultaneously. As you can see, this is the first ever Tables, Ladders, and Chair match closed within a roofed blue steel cage. A cage specially designed to be larger than the ring it surrounds. This will not be for the squeamish.
Both teams are locked into the cage while a phalanx of refs watch from outside. A stack of tables is prevalent in on corner. Four or five chairs are found in another and four ladders of various heights rest in a third. A wild brawl ensues until an OBJ clothesline takes Li to the outside. Double Team Suplex on Morte lands him painfully atop the tables. Li in and rocks GB with a chair shot. OBJ with a big boot and a DDT on said chair. Morte out of nowhere with a bull dog to OBJ. Morte with some stomps and Li recovers enough to do so as well. Irish whip sends OBJ into a double boot to the gut. Heinous spiked pile driver on OBJ. Li sets up a table, but GB intercepts and pounds his head on the table. Li ends this with a fall away jump kick to the back of his head. Places GB on the table and attempts a moonsault but OBJ crotches him. Rolling GB off the table, OBJ runs across it and murders Li with a BOOMERRANG~! that sends Li to the outside. OBJ rolls out and applies a CROCODILE HUNTER~! forcing Li to pass out. Back in the ring GB plants Morte with a tornado DDT. Sets up a ladder but crashes and burns on an attempted DIVE BOMB~! Morte to the outside brawling with OBJ who dominates. Broken up with an eye poke and a blatant low blow. Morte wakes Li up in time to be flattened by a GB plancha. Li and GB in the ring first and after a brief offensive furry by GB, Li reverses a clothesline into a sick neck breaker. He begins driving one of the smaller ladders into GB's throat. OBJ smashes a chair over his Li's head but can't follow up as Morte hits a super kick to the back of his head. Morte wails on GB then puts him on another table. GUILOTINE LEG DROP~! connects. As the two lie in the rubble, Li makes his way up the tallest ladder. And down the side where he runs off. OBJ recovers and instead of chasing, joins GB with some double team vengeance on Morte. GB stands on the final table and OBJ feeds a limp Morte to him. CHOMP~! Though the table. OBJ slowly makes the climb, and pokes his head up through the opening. Accidentally kicks the ladder over as he pushes himself through. Li is back and scaling the side of the cage. They duke it out atop the cage and Li slams what appears to be brass knuckles to OBJ's head. A pile driver takes OBJ out and Li drops the international object down to Morte. Morte power bombs GB from the ladder then reveals that the object is a pair of handcuffs. Handcuffing GB to the ropes he tells him to say goodbye to his tag title shot before pasting him with three vile chair shots. A leisurely climb later, and the new no. 1 contenders celebrate by choke slamming OBJ through on of the various announce tables below. WINNERS in 40:30 Morte & LI
Microplay vs. Beast – OOWF World Title
Lock up to start, Beast easily wins the lock up and clubs micro to the canvas. Beast follows it up by stomping on Micro, then stomping around the ring, Micro quickly bails out of the ring. Beast yells to the crowd, and Micro creeps back in the ring. Micro approaches beast tentatively to lock up, Beast motions like he is going to lock up, but then just kicks micro in the face. Micro bails out of the ring again in frustration. Micro jumps to the apron, Beast approaches to bring him in, micro pokes beast in the eyes. Beast turns trying to clear his vision; Micro comes up from behind and hits a double axe handle on beast. Beast staggers a bit but does not fall. While Beast’s vision is still clearing, micro comes off the ropes with a clothesline, beast staggers backward into the ropes, when his weight hits the ropes, the ropes trap his arms. With Beast trapped in the ropes, micro hammers away at beast’s forehead, viscous punches and bites rain down on the beast. The ref tries to free the beast. Micro charges and beast gets a foot up catching micro in the midsection. Micro is doubled over; beast is finally freed from the ropes. Beast comes after micro, scoops him up and slams him to the mat. Beast hits the ropes and drops a big leg across micro. Beast covers, gets two. Beast picks up micro and sends him to the ropes, and catches him by the throat for a choke slam. Beast gets him up in the air, but before he can slam him down, micro bites beast’s hand. Beast drops micro and grabs his hand in pain. Micro knees beast in the back and sends him crashing into the turnbuckle. Beast staggers backward, Micro hits the ropes again, grabs beast by the head and jumps over the top rope pulling beasts neck down across the top rope. Beast bounces back into the ring flat on his back, micro lands on his feet outside, but quickly slides back in under the bottom rope. Micro immediately starts choking beast, breaking just as the ref hits five each time. Micro pulls beast to his feet, then kicks the big man in his stomach, beast doubles over in pain, Micro grabs Beast and picks him up for a pile driver. A second later Micro sends Beast’s head crashing into the mat. Beast looks done. Micro climbs the corner and flies, connecting with an elbow to the chest. Micro makes the confident cover, but Beast is able to get his arm up at two. Now Beast is fired up. He gets to his feet as Micro attempts to keep him down with punches and clotheslines. Finally micro staggers Beast with an elbow to the head, but when micro charges again, beast catches him by the throat and choke slams him. Both men are down; beast is to his feet first. He grabs Micro and sends him to the corner and follows with a thundering clothesline. Beast keeps hold of micro and sends him to the ropes again. On the way back, Beast connects with a huge boot to the face. Micro is down. Beast picks up the champ, and sets him up for a pump handle power bomb. Beast holds micro at the top of the powerbomb for a few seconds, running around the ring for more momentum, finally he sends him crashing to the canvas. Micro looks done, could we have a new champion tonight? Beast is to his feet, he motions to the crowd, calling for the big club o’ doom. When his back is turned, Viper rushes to ringside and slides Micro the world title, then moves to the other side of the ring. Micro covers up the world title, while Viper distracts the ref, Micro blasts Beat with the title, right between the eyes, Beast is out, Micro ditches the title and makes the cover, the ref turns around and makes the three count. WINNER in 13:55 Microplay
After the match Micro and Viper take turns kicking Beast, Viper holds Beast while Micro charges at him with the world title. Beast moves and Micro nails Viper between the eyes sending him out of the ring. Beast grabs Micro, who drops the world title, and kills him with a giant club o’ doom. Micro tumbles out of the ring. Beast picks up the fallen world title and tosses it over his shoulder and poses for the crowd. The two heels try to get back into the ring, but Beast threatens to splatter their heads with the world title. Finally the two heels hightail it up the ramp, Beast celebrates in the ring with the world title, basking in the fans cheers.
THIS HAS BEEN GREAT OOWF ACTION! THANKS FOR WATCHING!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US AT OOWF!
This has been an OOWF production, produced by the Black-Jack production company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:50:33 GMT -5
[Camera crew catches up with Chris Cole backstage after his match, he is still holding the steel chair in his hand which is dripping red.] "THAT IS THE DEBUT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!, When you mess with 'The Main Event' and stick him in a match with 2 middle aged joe shmoes somebody is going to get hurt and I'm not the one who is taking the blame. I crushed Smark's skull and I'll do it again if I have to. You see the way to get to the top is to take your opportunity and seize it. No remorse, no regrets. I'm just getting started."
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:50:59 GMT -5
CD sitting on a bench.
CD: "Niles, that wasa great match. After having your buddy Eco take away the stipulations, he then is the reason you win. I guess I should have saw it coming. The Establishment is the kind of people who can't win on their own, and use their power and position to try and control others."
CD stands up as he lossesns his mask.
CD: "So Establishment, I'm going to take something from you...the OOWF World Title. Now Eco, before you start laughing about how you will never book me in a title match, rest assured that I never said that I would win the belt...."
CD looks directly into the camera.
CD: "...but Eco, Jack, Niles...I will TAKE the world title the next chance I have."
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:51:28 GMT -5
Ax-man burst’s into a dressing room, and he his in a bit of a huff.
A: That was pure crap, utter frigging bullshit. I had him, he was about to tap, jaysis.
Mystery partner answers him from the back of the room
MP: Relax man, Harris is gunna get whats comin’ his way, we’ll make sure of that, and as for EOM, that little jerk’ off, he’s nothing but small potatoes.
A: You’re right, gotta keep our eyes on the prize, great work out there too tonight man.
MP: Thanks, I had it easy but…
A: So did I, man, but I freakin’ lost. Feck, do you realise what really grabs my goat but?
MP: What?
A: Had that that match been fall’s count anywhere, that arse lick Harris, wouldn’t of been able to distract me, and EOM would picking out colours for his artificial knee.
MP: Ain’t that the truth! EOM knew that, and he didn’t have the stones to take you up. He’s just an arsey little bitch.
A: An arsey little bitch, who’s closer to a title
MP: An asrey a little bitch, who’s closer to having the absolute shit kicked out of him.
A: Well I can’t argue with that, but one thing at time, EOM’s time will come. You see the thing is tonight Harris proved one thing to me, and the rest of world.
MP: Yeah?
A: He’s dumber than dog shit. He’s picked a fight he can’t win, he’s already pissed of the Establishment, and now the 3 Piece Set are out for Blood. He’s like Napoleon and this is his Waterloo, I’m like the Duke Wellington, and when a man soils a Wellington he well and truly puts his foot it in it.
MP: When do you want to take it too Harris?
A: Maybe when the third man, gets in, or perhaps a short term alliance with the Establishment, just to tide things over, but I don’t trust those assholes.
MP: Agreed the Establishment maybe more trouble then they’re worth, especially if their rep is anything to go buy.
A: I’m going call out Dodecahedron H, and when he answers the challenge.
MP: We show the world that the greatest stable in wrestling history is only just warming up!
A: Then Harris is nothing but footnote in history, our entrée in the OOWF. Harris better sleep with one eye open, keep a close eye on his back, buy some friends, find a 4 leaf clover, and listen to whole bunch of other bull shit cliché’s because, he’ll need all the help he can get!
MP: what if Harris doesn’t answer your call out?
Ax-man and the mystery partner begin laughing
A: Let’s grab a drink, and some easy girls.
MP: Groupies?
A: Groupies!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:51:54 GMT -5
*Our intrepid Invisible Cameraman is walking by a locker room where he hears some odd laughter.
Inside a locker room, still in his ring gear, is Endo. He's got a knife in one hand, and blood all over the other.*
E: heh heh... Vander thought he was pretty tough... heh heh... but I made him bleed with my bare hands... *cuts the palm on his already bloodied palm*... heh heh... the blood of a "champion" now flows in me... and it feels good... *stares into a mysteriously floating camera* I think I'll start small... like with the IC belt... and then the world belt... and then all those who shunned me will pay... they shall be fused with me, and then no one can stop me...
*Invisible Cameraman slowly backs out of the room*
E: yes... Vander was merely the first step...
*Endo licks the mingling blood on his hands. His eyes roll back as he moans in ecstacy. Invisble Cameraman decides "screw this slowly back out stuff" and runs for his car.*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:52:20 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is in the locker room, packing up his gear and preparing to leave the arena, when a camerman and an unnamed female interviewer enter*
FI: Chris Alt, congratulations on your winning your debut match. And on a pay-per-view, no less.
CA: Yeah, well, when you're as awesome as "No Nickname Required" Chris Alt, things like that happen on a regular basis. Hey, what's your name, babe?
FI: My name is--
CA: What, so this interview is about YOU all of a sudden? I mean, I just won my first ever PPV match, and all of a sudden this is A&E Biography on some bimbo with a microphone that nobody gives a crap about?
FI: Well, you asked--
CA: Yeah, ME, and that's what this is all about, sweetheart. You'd better get used to seeing me win, because it's going to be happening a lot from here on out. DaVida and the Philly Redneck or whatever that goofball calls himself are just the first two names on a very long list.
FI: Shouldn't you give some credit to Carl Coolname? You didn't win the match by yourself, you know.
CA: Yeah, I gotta give Carl some mad props. The tag team division better pray he's not looking for some long term tag team action, because we'd have those tag team titles in no time flat. Look, I'd love to stick around and tell you exactly how sucessful I'm going to end up being here in the OOWF, but I got some hoochies waiting for me down the street at the Hilton. I'm outtie.
*CA walks off camera*
FI: What a jackass...
CA (from off-camera): HEY! I heard that!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:52:45 GMT -5
Donnie Viper is in the locker room sitting on the bench playing Castlevania on the monitor. He looks serious.
DV: Corax, Hellion! What the hell's going on with me? I can't seem to win matches anymore! Losing to fools like Blade and LD Williams. What the hell?
C: I dunno, man. you've got to get your act together.
DV: No doubt. I swear, my career has gone on a downward spiral since Boss Dawg left.
H: Things happen. Hey, you can't rely too much on UnderDawg anyway. We've been kicking ass before when we were all seperate, we're still a unit. So we don't have our leader, we can still kick a lot of ass.
DV: Says you. We've lost our gold, I've lost every match since.
H: But hey, you got back at Beast tonight. And look at us, we won our match.
DV: Barely. Dude, even you have to admit that was lucky. We wouldn't need luck if the Big Dawg was here.
C: Well, maybe you'd do be doing better if you weren't playing these video games. And what's with this old 8-bit shit?
DV: Castlevania. It's the shit. And besides, I'm trying to see if I can use this game to somehow bring back Underdawg from whereever he is.
H: And how is Castlevania going to do that?
DV: Fuck if I know. All I know is that UnderDawg has some weird ass powers. I mean, how the hell does he pop up out of nowhere? Or in hospital monitors?
C: That's almost as weird as the places you've seen Beast pop out.
DV: Exactly. There might be some mystic shit that we can use here to draw him back.
C: I think you've been smoking some of Concrete's crack.
H: Definitely. Let's get you calmed down and get some drinks in you.
DV: Oh no. I didn't catch the monitor, playing this game, but I ain't falling for that again. Hardbody's been bathing in beer this time?
C: Calm down, man. You're trippin. Now let's go to a bar.
Viper shuts off the Nintendo: All right. Yeah, you guys are right. What the hell am I thinking?
The remaining members of the Ministry walk out of the locker room to go to the local pub. When they leave, the lights go out in the locker room. The monitor flickers and turns back on. Simon Belmont is seen on the monitor hacking away at Dracula. Dracula dies and turns into this big beast... with a dog's head and proceeds to destroy Belmont in 8-bit destructsicity.
Monitor (in 8-bit midi): BONG. BONG. BARK.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:53:14 GMT -5
('Skeem' Gene Okerlund in the backstage area, alongside still reigning OOWF world champion, Microplay)
Skeem - Microplay...Can i get a word with you please...?!
Microplay - Not this time, Skeem.
(Microplay is in pursuit, looking for Hardbody Harris. He goes through the hallway area, and finds HH alongside Gimmickman)
Microplay - So...after interrupting me in the backstage area the last time, i'm gonna crash the party this time. Done with your little victory against Eco and Grunt?? Funny...because i don't remember you getting the win for your team. Gee, i wonder why?? Maybe because you couldn't win a tag match on your best day...
(Hardbody begins a staredown with the reigning champion)
Microplay - Good job Gimmick...Not. The time is going to come, HH, when you're gonna suffer the biggest defeat of your life, and that's when you ever step in the ring with me.
Hardbody - Is that so, Microplay?? I don't think so...When you're the #1 FACE IN THE OOWF!, you back down from nobody, and better yet, you gain respect!!
Microplay - You know what...You're not even worth my time...buddy.
(Microplay turns to leave, but in the most uncharacteristic of circumstances, Hardbody attacks Micro from behind)
(Microplay fights back, attempting to hit HH with the OOWF title, but both guys are finally broken up by referees in the backstage area)
Microplay - Your a punk, HH. That's all you are...The bottom line is, you couldn't beat me on your best day, and you never will!!
Hardbody - We'll see about that, Micro!!
(cameras fade, as a raged HH is still being pulled away by referees)
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:53:39 GMT -5
(camera cuts to a dark room, one bare lightbulb lights the room, in the corner, a battered, bandaged MHJ sits, with a demonic look in his eyes and an evil grin on his face. Dried blood remains on Jacks face and torso, after seveal seconds of silence Jack hoarsely speaks)
Concrete
Its not over.
Trust me
<fade to black>
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:54:07 GMT -5
*Niles is backstage, watching Dragon's promo. The rest of the Establishment is with him*
Niles - See, that whiny b**ch can't accept defeat. I mean, he keeps this vendetta going against us when he can't win.
MHJ - I told you you had this one in the bag Niles.
Niles - oh, I knew that. I'm just glad you were there to remind me that as a singles competitor, I am second to none.
Eco - Moosehead and I knew from those promotional videos that you were destined for greatness. Otherwise, we would never have brought you in.
Niles - Destined? No, not destined, I'm already there. But I gotta give you guys credit. Without you behind me, I don't think anybody would see how great I actually am.
MHJ - You had a good night Niles. I suggest we celebrate.
*MHJ cracks open a bottle of champagne and passes the bottle around. Each member of the Establishment takes a big swig. When it gets to Niles, he stops.*
Niles - I just want to make a toast. To the Establishment. You've had my back when it counted and I just want to make sure you know I have yours. Especially you Mooshead.
MHJ - I'll keep that in mind. To the Establishment.
*Niles takes a big swig of the champagne and then passes to bottle around again.*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:54:34 GMT -5
(the invisible cameraman finds Concrete recouperating at a local hospital. He's cleaned up somewhat. but the bandages are bloodsoaked. His breathing ia labored as he forces words out of his mouth)
Moose....
this is.....not....over.....
I will... rectify.... this .... situation....
Meaning.... your ..... rectum.....
My foot... is ... on its way....
(CTG smiles faintly as he drifts off to sleep)
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:55:00 GMT -5
* Attitude Adjuster is back in his attorney’s office, bandages still covering the stitches in his head. He also now has a cast on his left hand. Despite the injuries, he looks GQ-worthy in a brilliant three-piece suit. *
So this is how you treat a returning hero? I am Alan Capps, the Attitude Adjuster, worshiped on seven continents. Have I told you about the statue of me in Japan? Damn it, I’m a respected wrestling icon! Yet here in the OOWF, I’m treated like just another piece of meat. Well, I’m SICK AND TIRED OF IT!
First off, I have to fight this low-life LD Williams to gain an Intercontinental title shot that I rightly already deserve. This freak has already busted my head open and knocked out two of my teeth, costing me millions in endorsements. Then, at Violent Resolutions, in what was supposed to be a WRESTLING match, I was forced to punch Mr. Williams so hard in the head (shows digitally altered clip of the match that removes the chain from his hand) that I broke the seventh and eighth metacolicular bones in my left hand. There goes my hand-modeling contract! This is the same injury that ruined Iron Mike Sharpe’s career! That I was able to put the claw on your little pumpkin head and make you bleed shows the phenol-mental shape I keep myself in. Each finger on this hand (holding up the cast) can curl 105 pounds. I am a physical genius!
Doctors say I’ll have to wear this cast for the next six to eight weeks. Then, if I’m lucky and because of the fantastic shape I’m in, I should be able to rehab my hand and be able to play classical piano recitals by spring.
Then there’s you, Moosehead Jack. You need to stay out of the big boy’s playpen. You think it was funny bashing me over the head like that? I was to have the first set of stitches removed from my head today. But nooooo!!!!! The doctors said they had to put in 16 more because of you. I should sue you! I was sure to be the lead role on the remake of “The Greatest American Hero” until you hit me with that chair! Besides, you need to concern yourself with your own matches. Need I remind you that you didn’t get the job done against Concrete TG…a man I’ve already defeated! Oh, and I’ve already defeated you, too.
Now, on to my second problem. The OOWF released its latest ranking and, hmmmm, you’d think a star like Double A would be high in the rankings. I’ve beaten Concrete TG. I’ve beaten Moosehead Jack. (Holds up the rankings sheet.) Yet I look and I look and I look, and the Powers That Be at OOWF have me ranked LAST!!!! LAST!!!! LAST, LAST, LAST, LAST, LAST!!!!! (Near tears, throwing the sheet to the ground and stomping on it.) I don’t understand it! I AM A STAR!!!!!
(AA collects himself, straighten his tie and jacket.) Fine. Fine. You want me to prove myself, I will. Even if it’s against such lowlifes and underachievers as Carl Coolname, Chris Alt and Gator Bait. Maybe I’ll take on Mark Vander and remove those cheesy second-rate titles from his waist. Maybe I need to take out the tag team champions, one by one. Would that impress you?!!!! If I have to start from the bottom to impress the flea-bitten inbreds who run this wrestling federation, then believe me, I will. Just show me an opponent. (ranting and jumping up and down) Anyone! Anyone! Anyone!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:55:24 GMT -5
How DARE you insult me in that way, you nobody? You better go and get Chris Cole, 'BECAUSE' takes too long to write!!! OBJ and I are gonna teach you the lessons your mommy and daddy should've been doing while they were in bed with the mailman and his dog, Skippy...
and as for you, Morte & Li, you knew you wouldn't beat us in any way other than using the cuffs to hold me down... don't think we'll forget this when we have our 4-team-ECW-style-elimination match at the next Midweek Mayhem...
but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know...
Don't hate the Gator... HATE THE BAIT!!!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:55:50 GMT -5
(Camera cuts to a dark room etc. etc. ect.)
MHJ is still bandaged up, blood is still crusted across his body, the only thing different is that MHJ has his voice back a bit.
Attitude Adjuster, you're running your mouth a whole lot here lately. Bitching and complaining about every damn thing you can. Well son, let me give you a little lesson on the way things work around here. First of all, no one gives a damn about what you supposedly did in Japan, or South America, or where ever the hell you claim you have been. The fact is, all that matters here is what you have done, HERE! And so far you haven't done a whole hell of a lot.
Yeah, you got the pin on me, after that twit Semaj B. Knocked me out with a chair. Now there's an accomplishment, pinning an unconscious man, but thats ok, you pinned me, but you still didn't get the job done did you? You choked and lost to LD Williams.
Then fast foward a bit to the last pay per view. You bitch and complain and cry until you get the stips you want, the match you want, and you blow that too.
See, no one cares about what you did in some two bit fly by night organization last year, last month, whatever. You might have pinned Concrete there, that doesn't mean a damn thing here.
The difference between us, I have a set, you, well, lets just say you are lacking. I am man enough to admit that I did not win the match against Concrete, I took him to hell and back, and he will never forget my name, but I didn't quite finish the job. . . yet. That Intercontinental title is mine, and I'll be damned if you think you are just gonna walk in here and take it.
You want respect? Earn it. These idiots iin the back, like Concrete and Semaj. B and Johnny Adrenaline, if you can ever find him, they don't like me, and thats fine, I don't like them either, but do they respect me? You're damn right they do. Because I have earned their respect in this business. I don't hide behind laywers and file lawsuits, when I tell you I am coming for you, you know you have hell coming after you, they know. Soon you will too.
Now, why did I help LD Williams. Two reasons, I don't like you, and I respect Williams. He has earned my respect. That doesn't mean I won't beat him damn near to death to get that title, I will. But I respect him.
So Double A, you think you have a set big enough to call me out. Bring it. At the next MidWeek Mayhem, you and I one-on-one, you had better keep in touch with that moron lawyer of yours. This time though, he won't be filing litigation papers, he will be filing your death certificate. Your blood flows next.
Trust me
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:56:14 GMT -5
Once again, the #2 and #1 FACES IN THE OOWF! are victorious.
Grunt, Eco...easy pickins AGAIN. When are you gonna learn that you can't mess with the Face-2-Face Connection!
Two more victims have fallen to the mighty SPARTAN PLUNGE~!
The list just keeps on growing and growing...
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:56:41 GMT -5
Ax-man is wandering the corridors, he his holding a chair and is visibly upset, he soon spots a cameraman and begins to make demands
You get recording!
I’m already recording, sir.
Good, then listen up, everyone. But especially Harris, Harris I’ve got something of yours, and you can come and collect it any time you want, I’m gunna carry it with me at all times, so when you want it back, just come and find me. Ax-man holds up a chair, for all to see Look right here Harris, you see this chair, this is the chair I slammed right against your skull tonight, when you interfered… you interfered in my business. And right here, in the corner of this chair, well that’s your blood Harris, and I’ve got it, and I’ll hold on to it for you, and all you’ve gotta do is come see me, and it’s yours again. So just in case you can’t decide when you’re gunna come see me, I’ll make sure this steel… hard cold steel chair is with me at all times. If I decide to go down to the corner shop, to get a stick of butter, quart of milk and a loaf of bread, the chair goes with me. Christmas is going up, I’m going to Sisters house, I’ll walk in that door, With a Saddle Club horse for my Niece, A Ninja Turtle Sewer Bike for my Nephew and the chair, the chair goes with me, just in case you decide to claim your lost property. On New Year’s eve, I’m heading back over to Japan to work some dates, I’ll Smuggle this big metal ugly bastard on the plane, after I’ve gotten there and wrestled, I’ll head out with my friends and hit the best saki bars Tokyo has to offer, with the chair! The chair that has your Blood on it Harris. Find some friends Harris make some new years revolutions and be damn right careful. Ax-man starts tapping the chair It’s right here, all you’ve gotta do is come get it, can you Harris? I’m waiting.
The last image the camera records before it’s smashed, is the chair being swung at it, with a forceful vengeance
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:57:13 GMT -5
Camera opens at an airport landing strip. In the background the sun is setting on on an snow-covered city, its orange and brown buildings are often capped with tapered domes. Camera pans to the left ending on the bottom of a disembarking staircase. Semaj, dressed in paratrooper style jumpsuit, takes the final few steps to the ground and looks into the camera.
SB: Moose'ead, why do you bother chasing Concrete for 'is title? Clearly you 'aven't been able to defeat 'im for it. I would suggest abandoning your efferts. It is clearly a losing proposition for you.
For many people, futility and 'umiliation often lead to a myriad of small errors and unfortunate events that further complicate matters. Even the logistics of continuing your employment at the OOWF may become more difficult than it is werth. Tell me, 'ave you noticed that you forget where you 'ave made automobile reservations or per'aps your luggage is misplaced. These are often the first signs of frustration dementia, I would suggest that you watch for them. If you need 'elp just ask for me...Bondutahajarnishta, Semaj Bondutahajarnishta.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 28, 2008 12:57:39 GMT -5
[Carl Coolname is seen walking in the back hitting on ladies but getting shut down. The same Female Interviewer that interviewd Chris Alt walks up to get some thoughts.]
FI: "Carl, Carl Coolname, can we get a word with you?"
CC: "ALLRIGHT!!! You sure can. How about I get in your pants. YEAH!!"
FI: "How about no?"
CC: "SHOT DOWN OH YEAH!!!
FI: "Anyways, earlier tonight we had the chance to talk to Chris Alt. He said he would love to team up with you again to chase the Tag Team Titles. Would you like to?"
CC: "OH YEAH!!! Me and Alt are not only Ladies men, but a damn fine tag team too. We will win those Tag Titles soon. So why don't we go back to my hotel room foxy lady?"
FI: "I already told you no loser."
CC: "ALLLLRIGHT!!!!"
[The Female Interviewer runs off as Carl Stands back and pushes his glasses back to keep them from falling and rearanges his pocket protector.]
|
|