OOWF Judgment Eve III PPV

[mooseheadjack]

<one more time, we see LJ Bennett standing outside the door ready to post the lineup. Once again, he speaks>

LJB: Davin, I have to hand it to you, you said you would let nothing stop you, and that included cheating your best friend and teammate to get what you want. Well, even though I am slightly impressed, you still haven't earned a damn thing. Now, I started thinking to myself, who could I possible get that is in the right frame of mind to give you the kind of challenge you need? I needed someone with championship experience, someone who would not be rattled by the situation, someone who will also do whatever it takes to win. But most of all, I needed someone who was seriously pissed off and looking for a fight.

I am happy to say, I have found that man. Davin, you only have four days to get ready, so you better use them wisely, because at Judgment Eve III, your final test to determine whether you get your number one contender spot back will be against...........

Stank

<Bennett posts the lineup and walks away>


OOWF Judgment Eve III
Live From Qeqetarsaug, Greenland

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match - Hell In The Cell with Special Enforcers Moosehead Jack, Stank, Poe and Davin Moreland at Ringside[/u]
LD Williams vs. Tytan

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Chris Cole

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Attitude Adjuster vs. Firewoman

OOWF World Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match[/u]
Phantos & Lucios vs. The Worlds Greatest Fag Team vs. Dead & Blitz

OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u]
IHOP & The Amnesiac vs. Insane Homeless Bunny

#1 Contenders Match[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Stank

Gauntlet Match[/u]
Spin Hansen vs. Tyson Kincaid vs. Apocalyptic Existence vs. Damon Wrath

DH Magnusson vs. Seamus McNasty
Poe vs. ZK DeBeers
Moosehead Jack & Eric O'Mac vs. Outback Jack & Concrete TG

Card subject to whatever happens in Greenland staying in Greenland

[mooseheadjack]

(Sylvia and her cameraman finally catch up to Tytan who is trying to leave the arena but is stopped by even more fans then before. The crowd sees Sylvia and starts up the chant "Tytan is gonna kill you."

Sylvia makes her way to Tytan who meets her and takes the mic.

Tytan: You see LD everything I have said has come true and it looks like I am facing you at Judgment Eve.

Sylvia: Now what about the Stips?

Tytan: The Stips have been delivered to the Boss already. It seems I have the upper hand here LD and I am going to use it. You said take it advantage of my title shot and...

(The chants get louder.)

...you see the fans know it and soon you will know it too.

Sylvia: Now the other question that everyone is asking what is the story about your hooded friend, and why didn't you treat Spin the way you treated the others?

Tytan: Spin is a good man and one hell of a fight. Anytime you want to go at it again I will be there. I have nothing but respect for the man, I almost wished he beat LD so I could face him again. And as far as my friend is concerned he has nothing but respect for you too.

Sylvia: So now what about Davin and his offer to LD?

Tytan: He is willing to protect the man he wants to kill. Davin I will give you credit pretty genius move for a desperate man. Whatever you do just stay out of my way, because at Judgment Eve it will be a fair fight. I want to show LD that Tytan can hang with the "Big Dogs". Davin you screw with that and I will hunt you down and make you pay like the dog you are.
So now Sylvia are you going to come with me and celebrate the continuation of the streak?

Sylvia: What are we waiting for let's go!

(Tytan and Sylvia head off as the camera man pans back to the arena to see the hooded man watching on.)

Fade out

[mooseheadjack]

In the hallway of OLD SCHOOL ECW "PULP FICTION" style promos...

D.H. Magnusson: They call it starting over...They call resetting...They call it working your way up from the bottom...The calling it going back to square one...

I call it gettin' back t'basics.

Judgement Eve...LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW...I step in the ring with Seamus McNasty. Seamus, I like you. You're a good guy. Fun t'drink with, fun t'scrap with...But this Sunday, that all has go out th' window.

Y'see, this Sunday it'll be damned near a year since I walked into the company. In a little under a year, I been a lotta thinga around here. I been a punchin' bag, a champion, a Midnight Son, a junior member of Drink an' Destroy...

This Sunday in Qeqetarsaug, Greenland, I go back t'bein' who I am. D.H. Magnusson - The New Jersey Nightmare. Seamus, I'm sorry as hell about what's gotta happen in that ring. It ain't nothin' personal I got with you...it's somethin' personal I got with myself.

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is SITTING~! in the Run-DEA Suites by Aquafina getting her luggage together, as it is already packed, as usual. Yet Another Production Assistant comes in.

FW: Why didn’t you tell me about your shoulder? You should have never gone out there—

AD: Oh hush. Don’t be mad. You have your own issues to deal with.

FW: Yes, and I’ve been totally straight with you about them. OOWF medical cleared me, I can definitely have your back especially when—

YAPA clears his throat.

AD: What do you want?

YAPA: Mr. Bennett would like to see Firewoman before we get on the plane.

FW: Fantastic. Thank you. [The PA leaves.]

AD: I’m going with you.

FW: What? Don’t be silly. There’s still a ceasefire.

AD: It’s not about that. I have a bad feeling about this.

FW: Fine, Han Solo, but make it snappy.

They walk down the hall to Bennett’s office, which is about half packed up.

LJB: Fire, come on in. Oh, hello Alex. Yes it figures you’d be there too.

AD: No way I’m letting her come here alone.

LJB: Fine. You can both have a seat. [They do]. Fire, I’ve called you here, because there’s been quite a bit of speculation on who the father of your little bundle of joy is.

FW: So I have heard.

LJB: So…out with it.

FW: Huh?

LJB: Tell me.

AD: She’s not telling you anything.

FW: It’s none of your fucking business.

LJB: Normally, I’d agree with you. But this kind of speculation is disruptive, and there’s enough of that in this company. If you won’t tell me, I’ll have no choice but to demand paternity tests, and reveal the father live in the ring at Judgement Eve.

AD: That’s ridiculous! That’s insulting!! That’s—

FW: Fine.

AD and LBJ: Huh?

FW: Fine. Whatever.

AD: You can’t be serious.

FW: It’s gotta come out one way or the other. Set it up, Bennett, I’ll cooperate. But Alex has to be the host of the segment. It’s a deal breaker.

LJB: Fine. I’ve even compiled a list of possible candidates. Will you at least tell me if he’s on the list?

Firewoman scans the list, her eyes lingering over one name in particular.

FW: This is insulting. I've only had sex with two people on this list.

LJB: Is he on the list or not?

FW: Yep. Unfortunately.

LJB: If you’re lying, you’re fired.

AD: She’s not lying. You better hope this doesn’t make things worse for her, Bennett.

LJB: Get out of my office and get to the airport.

They leave. Bennett looks at a production assistant who was taking minutes of the meeting.

LJB: I think I know who I’m putting my money on. He’s awfully protective. Here, post this list on the door next to the line-up.

The PA comes out and posts the list near where Firewoman and Alexander are standing

FW: This is not going to be fun.

AD: Don’t worry. I’ll be right there.

The List

By order of LJ Bennett, authorized by the OOWF Board of Directors, the following people will report to OOWF medical for a blood test to determine paternity of Firewoman’s baby. Those who are not OOWF personnel are still asked to participate, or be banned from all future OOWF events.

Eric O Mac
DH Magnusson
Phantos
Lucios
Davin Moreland
Alexander Darling
Carl from Fresno
Justin Sane
Moosehead Jack
Attitude Adjuster
Seamus McNasty
Poe
Sven
Concrete Takaken Gryfon
Tyson Kincaid
Chris Jericho

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG walks into the infirmary)

CTG: I understand I'm here to submit blood

??: that's right, promise it won't take too long

CTG: (boggles) Mick Foley?

Foley: who knows more about bleeding than Mrs. Foley's little boy?

CTG: so how do we go about this?

Foley: like so (SLAMS CTG with a chair)

CTG: >.<

Foley: (gets some rags and a vial) ok, don't waste it....

CTG: ow ow ow ow.....

Foley: that wasn't so bad,I'll get you a cookie in a minute.....

[mooseheadjack]

Lucios stands in front of the OOWF banner.

Lucios: Wonderful, well done Bennett. This is the best you can come up with? A 3-team Clusterbomb of a match featureing one team who we have beaten repeatedly, and then another team who's 3 matches together Clearly qualify them for a Championship Match.

Lucios: so Dead, Blitz, MacCappington, Hardcore, bring your A game Sunday. You're going to need it to beat The Division Killers.

Lucios: and Rick, Bennett, I expect to see some Real competition... and soon

[mooseheadjack]

Phantos approaches Firewoman somewhere in the Arena.

Fire: Captain.

Phantos: Firewoman. I....I'm sorry It had to come to this. I should have come forward earlier and taken responsiblity. I mean, I never saw myself as parent material, but I realize now I need to take this like a man.

Fire: What the Blue Fuck are you talking about? You know damn well we never slept together.

Phantos: Well, I Do have Lockerroom Priviledges, and you are a pretty sound sleeper sometimes. You've come stumbling in from going out with Lexie a couple of times, and....

Fire: STOP. Right. There. I am NOT a light sleeper, And If I find out you ever snuck in my personal space like that, I will END you.

Phantos: Then there was that night out in Thailand. We all got a little out of control....

Fire: WE NEVER HAD SEX!

Phantos: (putting an hand on her shoulder) It's alright hon, I'll always be there for you and our child.

(Firewoman storms away, fuming)

[mooseheadjack]

There’s a knock on Poe’s dressing room. Poe looks up from his meditating towards the door with a sneer. He stands up out of the lotus position and walks to the door. A messenger stands on the other side of the door, obviously intimidated as Poe opens the door.

Poe: Yes?

The messenger stares up at Poe who towers over him by at least a foot. The messenger hands Poe a folded piece of paper.

M: This is…for you…sir.

Poe looks at the nervous messenger and takes the letter.

Poe: Namesdeh young man.

Poe closes the door and is about to open it as Selena hops up to him.

SG: Oooh, mail, can I see, can I see?

Poe smiles at Selena as she hops up and down, handing her the paper. Selena unfolds it with a huge smile that quickly disappears as she reads.

Poe: What does it say my dear?

SG: You are to be tested for the paternity of FireWoman’s baby. Eww, as if!

Selena slowly looks towards Poe, who says nothing.

SG: There’s no way! You two don’t speak to each other! I’ve been by your side every minute since you came here…except for that week in Thailand, but still…Ew! You’d never…right?

Poe gets really close to Selena, stroking her cheek. His hand reaches behind her head and grabs a handful of hair, jerking her head back slightly.

Poe: Selena, my pet, you need to learn one thing you clearly have not. I do what I want, when I want. I take what I want from who I want. Very few people in this world say no to me. In fact, if I didn’t adore your innocence and naivety along with respecting your vow of chastity…I’d probably have tested your will a while ago.

Poe lets Selena go. Selena simply stares at Poe with a pout on her face.

SG: I’m sorry master.

Poe smiles and hugs Selena.

Poe: Fear not, my goddess. I love you more than words can say. I also hold a special place in my heart for FireWoman. She fascinates me. Such raw emotion and power. Her will is like none I’ve seen. Not even I could break her. She has my respect and deserves yours.

Both are silent for a few moments.

SG: So…is the baby yours? Did you…

Poe: You are a heavy sleeper…

SG: Ew!

Poe laughs.

Poe: You’ll have to wait and see like everyone else.

[mooseheadjack]

In the DESTROYITARIUM

D.H. Magnusson: Hey Jack, you seen Stank?

Outback Jack: Still getting stitched up, lad....'Crete did a number proper on him. Besides, I don't he's in the mood to be very talkative right now, old son.

Spin Hansen enters, staring directly ahead as he powerwalks to the bar, grabs several bottles and then turns on his heel before stalking out.

DHM: Yeah....seems like there's a lotta that goin' 'round. How in th'hell is that workin' anyway? You an' th'Hero taggin'?

OBJ: Can you think of a better way to see what he's doing? Besides you know the deal, boy-o. They make the dance, you do it and get paid.

DHM: Can't argue...But I'm thinkin' I might still pay a little call on th' cape m'self...I don't think I ever introduced myself, proper.

OBJ: Don't be getting to aggressive there, mate. 'Crete's still my partner, and you know how Stank gets about people nosing into his business.

DHM: Me? Nah...I'm a pussycat. Jus' a friendly chat an' all.

OBJ: Whatever you say, mate. And by the by, box came for you. Bass player signed for it. It's by the bar.

DHM: Box? Box of?

OBJ: Do I look like the kind that looks in other people post?

DHM: Fine...Where's Wally?

OBJ: Not here yet. Open it, the suspense is killing me.

DHM makes his way over the bar, where the bass player points towards a large box

DHM: Well, it ain't tickin'...an' it don't smell like a dead body...

OBJ: Just open the damned thing already!

DHM slices open the packing tape, revealing three slightly smaller boxes with evelopes taped to them, and an envelope setting atop all of them:

Larry called me and told me you might need a little bit of help. Glad to see you're getting your head straight. Call these an early Christmas. -Manny

DHM reaches in, pulling out the first box and opens the letter attached with his teeth while ripping the tape open. Inside is a large length of chain.

A friend of my Dad's said you might like to have this.
-LaToya Ritter

DHM: Damn.

DHM smiles a little, carefully wrapping the chain around chain around his neck as he reaches for the next box. Inside is yet another length of chain:

Tell Fernandez thanks for the 20 bucks.
-Uncle Ivan

DHM hums a small portion of the Russian National anthem as he adds the second chain to the first, and then reaches for the final box. Inside is a third length of chain, along with a letter that letter that he almost drops after reading.

DHM: Holy....

A friend of Frank's said that you'd need to have this. I hope it helps with whatever you need.
-Barbara G.

After a moment, DHM picks up the length of chain with near reverence, and places it atop the other two.

Bartender: hey, Maggs...they need you over in medical. Something about blood and fire?

DHM: HUSS!

DHM stomps out of the Destroyitarium, shouldering his way past Moosehead Jack. MHJ stares as he leaves, and then turns to Outback Jack.

MHJ: Didn't Stank and I do that angle for Christmas last year?

[mooseheadjack]

(Fade in)
<We see Damon Wrath in a weight room lifting very large weights muttering to him self>

DW: That son of a bi*# I’ll Break him in half (muttered half under his breath) (Breathing hard as he lifts weights) Mother Fu*#er better have eyes in the back of his head. You step on the tracks and the train runs you over.

(Moves to heavy bag striking with punches and kicks)

DW: But that can wait till I take out everyone else in the gauntlet match at Judgment Eve.

(Striking still talking to himself as he punches and kicks)

DW: There not in my league they will all feel the pain.

(Moves to a sparing partner Ken Shamrock in a ring wearing an E O’Mac T-shirt)

DW: Ken you bastard that’s the dumbest thing you ever did!!!!

( Wrath snaps. He beats Shamrock like he’s a small child. DW Standing arm bars Ken and hits Lights out. Then he picks him up and f5’s to the mat. Then he locks in the Wrathface)

(Muttering as he holds the Wrathface)

DW: Erin you son of a bit*# I’ll kill you

<still holding the Wrathface as 4 or 5 other people in the gym try to pull Ken and Damon apart… You hear Ken screaming in pain>

Fades out

[mooseheadjack]

OBJ - Don't think it's a good idea for you to be here, mate.

CTG - I have to talk to him.

OBJ - I don't know if you should talk with him, but you and I have... uh oh.

<Stank comes walking out from the back bearing a large bandage on his forehead. He spies Concrete standing over by Outback Jack at the bar. He glares at Crete momentarily before seating himself at a nearby booth. Shannon, a new NPC waitress for the Destroyitarium walks over to Stank's booth and gives him a beer. Crete walks over and sits across from Stank.>

Shannon - What will you have?

CTG - Water.

<Shannon rolls her eyes and walks over to the bar.>

Stank - Save it Crete. I know you didn't mean to hit me during my match.

CTG - You do?

Stank - Yes.

CTG - That's a relief.

Stank - Nyah... let's not get ahead of ourselves.

CTG - ... okay.

Stank - You did cost me a win.

CTG - This is true... I feel bad about that.

Stank - That's the thing... your interference cost me. Now had you warned me ahead of time, perhaps the outcome would have been different.

CTG - Um... you were not in any kind of mood to talk to me before that match.

Stank - True. But my point is you went off and did something on your own which cost me. Just like this thing with Blackdragon.

CTG - That is not true. Blackdragon came to me with some information... which... I promised someone I wouldn't divulge.

Stank - Who did you promise... Rick?

CTG - I will not say. Are we good?

Stank - ... Look Rick has the exact same information I have from Alexis. Why is this new bit of info such a secret? Does this have something to do with my brother?

CTG - No.

Stank - No?

CTG - No.

Stank - Then what?

CTG - I can't tell you.

Stank - Get out.

CTG - I need to discuss strategy with Citizen Outback Jack.

Stank - Don't let me stop you.

<With a heavy sigh, Crete rises from his seat and walks over to Outback Jack. Shannon intercepts him with his water. Crete downs the water and motions for OBJ to follow him out. Jack looks over at Stank, who simply nods, and walks out the Destroyitarium with Concrete TG. Spin Hansen walks over and seats himself across from Stank.>

Stank - Tough break in your match.

Spin - Might have been a little easier had I not already been through a war with Tytan.

Stank - Might have been, but not by much. LD is as tough as they come. I should know.

Spin - Well now it looks like you might get another shot at him.

Stank - I do want my World title back. The affairs of this war have distracted me.

Spin - I s'pose Davin feels the same.

Stank - I suppose so.

Spin - Has he approached you, yet?

Stank - I suspect he'll make his way in here, seat himself, we'll have a terse conversation about the battle ahead, a few words about mutual respect, he may echo Alex's opinion concerning Moose leading me around on a wild goose chase, a warning, drain his beer, mention something about team unity in a sarcastic tone, then leave.

Spin - Or he may be waiting just outside the entrance with a bat and the hero's cape to drape over your unconscious body.

Stank - What?

Spin - I'm just saying... Just because Moose wants to think it's Crete that's been messin with you, doesn't mean it isn't someone else messin with you. I think it's possible Davin could have had a hand in this.

Stank - C'mon! Davin's been too busy dealing with 10 kinds of bullshit from Bennett to be concerning himself with me.

Spin - True. But do you really believe no one saw this match you have against him coming? If he got past Phantos, Everyone knew Bennett would up the ante even more. Who better than you? Davin's never beaten you.

Stank - I don't believe it... I don't even know why you would suggest it.

Spin - Just thinking out loud.

Stank - This is too much... and it's REALLY pissing me off.

Spin - Sorry, I'm just throwing it out there.

Stank - I... I can't deal with this right now. I'm going out for some air.

Spin - I'll come with you.

Stank - No. I need to be alone for minute.

<Stank rises and walks out the Destroyitarium... He gets a few feet before he senses movement behind him. He WHIPS around... but no ones there.>

Stank - Get ahold of yourself, Lucas. You're acting paranoid.

<Stank turns to resume his walk when BLAM! He gets PASTED in the head by a baseball bat! Stank is out and Crete's cape is draped over his unconscious frame. The camera pans around to see the assailant, but only catches a glimpse of an obscure figure running down the hallway, as the camera fades.>

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan sits in the hospital room of Jonathan Steel who ironically is still in a coma. It's dark and except for the light off the side of his bed.)

Tytan: You see Steel I did it. I one the Tournament I am finally getting a shot at the title and I did it without your help. Heck Steel, I am even getting fans. People are cheering me and once again that's not because of you. It's not even because of Diana and her bag of tricks I did this all on my own and come Judgement Eve. I will be the one that beats LD and I will come back here and lay the strap down on this bed to show you I am my own man now and don't need your help anymore.

(Suddenly there is a little stir from Steel.)

Tytan: (Suprised) Nurse ! Nurse!

(FAde to Black)

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is in the Run DEA Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. Sitting across from him is Samantha Darling*

SD: He's not happy.

DM: I know.

SD: What are you gonna do about it?

DM: Nothing. One of 2 things will happen. Either he'll get over it and know I had to do what I had to do, or he won't. At this point, there's nothing I can do to change any of. We did what we had to do.

SD: We did.

DM: And there are two more hills to climb.

SD: So you're NOT going to the Destroyitarium?

DM: HA! No. Sorry, this isn't some random tag match or anything; and I think it's pretty clear that I don't care much about team unity right now. It's fucking go time, Stank. Unfortunately for you, you stand in the way of me and what I want; and I'm going to run you over. I'm a different wrestler from the one you faced last time. And Bah Gawd are you going to find that out the hard way.

DM: Hey, no hard feelings, team unity right? Respect? Blah blah bullshit bullshit? I'll tell you this Champ, we're headed in different directions; and you're going in the wrong one. Now is my time. Nothing, and I mean nothing, not feelings, not associations, not past history is going to get in my damned way.

DM: I'm tired of being the watercarrier for Team Rick, and it seems like you've taken over that mantle quite nicely; you and your buddy Crete. Because through all of this, it gave me the opportunity to see what was really important to me; and Lucas, you're going to find out this Sunday the hard way. No hard feelings.

DM: And you'd better come with the "A Game" Stank, because otherwise it will be a very short match; and that would look pretty bad for the "leader" now, wouldn't it?

SD: I just plot deviced you?

DM: Yup, was it good for you?

SD: Yeah, it wasn't so bad.

DM: Wanna do it again?

SD: Sure. What about LD?

DM: LD's lucky, he gets the week off from the 800-lb Gorilla in the room, and gets to take on Ivan Drago with flowers in his hair or whatever. You'd better win LD; because otherwise I'll make it awfully painful for you if you don't. You WILL NOT deny me my destiny. No one will. Not anymore. What happens when I'm pushed too far? I guess we're all finding that out, aren't we?

SD: Ooh, I like that destiny thing.

DM: It wasn't too "Darling"-ish?

SD: Nope. You've got to be careful though, or people are going to get the wrong idea about you and what you're about.

DM: *rubs his temples* Maybe I'm just finding out what I'm really about.

SD: Deep.

DM: Fuck off.

SD: You know, we could be in Nova Scotia in a couple of hours.

DM: For true? People speaking English and shit?

SD: You up for it?

DM: Yeah, I think I've gotten all my points across for the day. Wanna grab Alex and Fire?

SD: Nah, I don't feel like looking for them.

DM: Word. Let's go.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan makes his way to an empty ring. This is where he trains, the place that once was Ultimo Inc.)

Tytan: The people want to know...OOWF wants to know...and I bet you champ want to know what kind of match it is going to be. What is the match going to be that you and I are going to be facing off in.

(He looks to one of his training partners and nods. The guy hits a button and a cage slowly lowers down around the ring.)

LD...your match against me will be a HELL IN A CELL match! This way there will be no one to cause any outside interference in this match. But this isn't going to be just any Hell in A Cell match. I decided to put a little twist onto the match. Around the ring will be some special people to help out in this match. The enforcers. They will make sure nothing goes to crazy..or maybe just a little bit crazier. The enforcers have already been decided and this has been sent up to the GM. The Enforcers to the match are: Poe, Moose, Stank, and last but not least.....

DAVIN!

LD I would get ready if I were you because this is going to be one hell of a war! See you at Judgment Eve.

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin is sitting at the bar of the Destroyitarium. He's alone, D.H. headed to give blood, Stank getting his head clear, and OBJ... somewhere.)

SH (muttering to himself): Who the hell was at the match yesterday? (He looks at the bartender.) Any ideas?

Bartender: I'm required by the Destroyitarium Code to inform you that any response that I give in regards to secret identities is going to be very vague and only serve to confuse and infuriate you further.

SH: Really? When did that happen?

Bartender: It all started in the 1920s...

(Hazy lines appear on the screen...)

SH: Stop that! I don't have time for a brief but hilarious flashback spotlighting past incarnations of Drink & Destroy!

(The screen goes back to normal.)

Barkeep: Your loss. It's an epic story involving prohibition, G-men, and the time the Destroyitarium was an illegal speakeasy.

SH: Damn! Rain check?

Barkeep: Sure.

[mooseheadjack]

At the OOWF Medical Trailer, Alexander Darling is EXITING~!

D.H. Magnusson: Yo, Darling! You got a second?

AD: No, actually. While I'm quite sure that whatever threats and tough words you want to act like I care about are very interesting to you, I -

DHM: Naw, man...Look, I don't like you, an' you don't give a damn about me, but I wanna say thanks for helpin' Fire out with all this stuff.

AD: Listen, you peice of street trash, I...wait - what?

DHM: Just sayin'. It real standup of you t'support th' lady. Shows loyalty. That goes far.

AD: ...Thank you?

DHM: You're doin' good by her, that's gonna earn ya point or two my book...Maybe in other people's too. Now, where a I givin' this blood? I heard someone say somethin' about Foley?

AD: Well...About that...Everything is set up in there, but I -

DHM: Yeah, hey...see ya 'round or something, huh?

AD: Magnusson, you need to -

*DHM Heads in the door before Darling can finish the sentence*

AD: I got someone special to take your sample....

*Magnusson looks around the room, seeing no one.*

DHM: Hey? Anybody home? I'm hear t'give some blood...Name's Magnusson. Hello?

*Abdullah the Butcher steps in from the cold storage area, a fork in his hand and a smile on his face*

DHM: Balls.

*Outside the trailer, Alexander Darling walks away quickly, whistling innocently over the sounds of carnage*

[mooseheadjack]

*OBJ and Crete are standing outside a men's room, as OBJ crumples his beer can and belches*

OBJ: Australian for you can't buy it, you only rent it!

CTG: I don't understand.

OBJ: Nevermind, let's go. *Opens door to men's room*

CTG: Oh, I don't need to use the facilities. I'll wait for you here.

OBJ: A suspicious person might think you'd run off and attack Stank while out of my sight.

CTG: Citizen, that is preposterous!

OBJ: Besides, it's a long walk to your locker room. You should go now. You did drink a lot of water at the Destroyitarium.

CTG: But I don't have to go!

OBJ: Well don't come crying to me when we're halfway there! Anyways, keep me company.

CTG: That's a little, um, odd, citizen.

OBJ: The sheilas do it all the time.

CTG: Well yes, but...

OBJ: Oh, alright then. Nevermind. *Drops the beer can on the floor and walks into the men's room*

CTG (gasps): Littering! Not on my watch, citizen! *Picks up the can, looks around, and realizes he has to go into the men's room to throw it out* A hero's work is never done!

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG enters the men's room, pitching the beer can)

CTG: a clever ploy, Citizen

OBJ: Jus' doin my part to keep you straight, mate.

CTG: Are you insinuating I'd be trying to take Stank out?

OBJ: you got motivations for it - you two might not be friends

CTG: we're certainly not enemies - and the attacks are coincidence

OBJ: what about the capes over 'im?

CTG: Probably remnants from OOWFShop.com!

OBJ: you sold capes? (belches) that's Australian for "and people bought em?"

CTG: My merchandising more than covers my financial needs

OBJ: them WWE checks helped a bit too

CTG: leading back to my argument - if I were to place a bounty on anyone, it's Moosehead Jack. He's the one who speaks of this ridiculous bounty, and if I were the one who posted it, why would I be the one attacking Stank? Paying myself is a redundancy that defies logic.

OBJ: it's wrestling, mate. Don't have to be logical

CTG: Regardless, the bounty itself is not heroic.

OBJ: (finishes up) I b'lieve yer not doin it, mate. Stank's a tougher one to crack on that.

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is in her locker room sponsored by GNC with Lucky, who keeps answering his Sprint PCS cell phone. She’s mostly ignoring him, reading instead the latest issue of Fit Pregnancy. Finally, he says something that catches her attention.

L: Okay, so that’s $20 on Alexander, thanks. [he hangs up]. Fire, can I get you anything? Some more Aquafina? You need to stay hydrated. Especially since you have to go to OOWF medical—

FW: Don’t remind me. And what’s $20 on Alexander?

L: Oh… uh, nothing.

FW: Spill it.

L: Well, it’s just . . . Well, you know how the guys are, they wanna bet on everything.

FW: Oh, no….

L: So. . . well, I hope you don’t mind. Now that the list is out, well, the guys are placing bets on --

FW: And you’re helping them?

L: Well, you won’t tell me who it is, so I’m impartial. Unless you want to –

FW: It doesn’t matter who it is, I don’t need any help. None of this is anyone’s business. It’s just Bennett once again trying to make my life hell because I wouldn’t side with him.

Lucky looks down sheepishly, while Firewoman fumes.

FW: Okay, now you have me curious.

L: [suddenly animated and excited to be dealing with something he’s so comfortable and familiar with] Okay, well, I figured the odds are related to those with whom you spend the most time, so like Alexander is – hm, wait.

FW: What?

L: Well, it just occurred to me. "BD" (that’s what we’re calling him, short for Baby Daddy) could bet on himself and ruin the whole thing.

FW: “BD?” Seriously? It doesn’t matter anyway, he doesn’t know either.

L: No?

FW: Didn’t want him involved either, but that choice has been now taken away from me.

L: Oh, okay… well, anyway, Alexander is currently the favorite, with odds of 1-2.

FW: Not Jericho?

L: Well, no, since there’s the ‘access’ issue. Since he was banned from most OOWF events, and since we’ve been on the road. Plus, people have detected a distinct change in Alex's attitude towards you….

FW: Right... "access issue." That's classy.

L: But he’s still close. Jericho, DH Magnusson (also in the really supportive category), and Phantos are 3-1. Davin and Lucios are 4-1. Then it kinda goes up from there. At the other end, we have Moose 250-1, Eric 200-1, and Attitude Adjuster, Tyson and Poe are tied at 150-1, Seamus at 50-1, and—

FW: Okay, enough. I don’t want to hear any more about this, okay?

L: Oh, okay. Sorry.

There’s another uncomfortable silence. It is interrupted by a knock at the door, which Lucky gets.

AD: Hey, she busy?

L: Let me check. She’s not been really interested in seeing anyone.

Lucky turns around and Firewoman mouths “No.”

L: Yeah, not right now. She’s uh, sleeping or something

FW: Oh wait, no. Lucky I do need to ask him something.

AD: Wow, this is twice in two weeks I’ve been invited into the inner sanctum.

FW: Can it, Alex. I need some money.

AD: For what?

FW: Prenatal vitamins? Who cares, can I have the debit card?

AD: Last time you borrowed this—

FW: [tears well up uncharacteristically in Firewoman’s eyes] It’s okay, I understand… I’ll manage without them, somehow…..

AD: No, wait, I’m sorry….here [He hands her the card]. Just, keep it. Use it for whatever you need.

FW: [smiling up at him through her tears] Thanks, Alex. I’m sorry, these hormones just make me all out of control.

AD: It’s fine. Just get your rest, okay?

He leaves. Firewoman’s tears dry up.

FW: C’mon Lucky, I need to stop at an ATM before we go for my blood test.

[mooseheadjack]

**Moosehead Jack walks into L.D. Williams' locker room.**

LD: “So, 'dad', how was the paternity test?”

MHJ: “Fuck you.”

LD: “Hey, your name's on the list.”

MHJ: “What do you think the odds are that I'm the one?”

LD: “No idea, but I'm pretty sure somewhere AA is betting on it.”

MHJ: “AA's on the list too...” <Moose stares off into space for a moment and shudders> “Anyway, what's this crap about you going neutral?”

LD: “It's crossed my mind. I've never been Bennett's biggest fan, and it's no secret that Eric's out of his tree. Why wait to be double crossed?”

MHJ: “You think going alone in this war zone would be better?”

LD: <sarcastically> “But Jack, Davin's guaranteed my safety.”

MHJ: “HA! ask Alex how well that works.”

LD: “Besides, Davin has to get past Stank.”

MHJ: “And you have to get past Tytan.”

LD: “I’m just glad he picked Hell in a Cell…I was afraid it’d be a syringe on a pole match or something.”

MHJ: “Sounds like I get a ringside seat, anyway.”

LD: “That’s the part I don’t get. If he wants Hell in a Cell to prevent interference, why the hell did he add enforcers? It’s not like the four of you are going to just stand there and watch.”

MHJ: “Don’t look at me – I don’t book this stuff.”

LD: “-”

MHJ: “Not a word.”

LD: “Fair enough. I need a drink.”

MHJ: “Good idea.”

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan catches LD's latest promo and decides to give him a quick response.)

Tytan: LD it's actually quiet simple. It's so you don't decide to take off and run went you can't take anymore of the beating I'm going to give you. You see I actually wanted the enforcers to be on the outside of the ring to keep anyone else from coming in. But after some talking. Someone dropped the idea of putting them on the inside. And you know I was feeling a little crazy that day and decided why the hell not. If there are some guys that are going to do a run in I might as well pick them.

(Fade)

[mooseheadjack]

*We fade in to the Run DEA Suites, Presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling are watching OOWF-TV on the Sony Multimedia Center*

SD: Do you think he knows that no one was going to run-in on that match anyway?

DM: Paranoia makes people do crazy things. Just ask your brother.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is leaving the OOWF medical offices with Lucky.

L: So, they really had paternity tests with them?

FW: Yeah, apparently that’s standard equipment for wrestling promotion training rooms. Who knew?

L: But the obstetrics stuff?

FW: Yeah, I don’t get that either. Here we are.

She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door that says L. J. Bennett. He yells “Come in” through the door.

FW: Here you go.

LJB: What is this?

FW: This here is proof that I’m really pregnant. And this is clearance from the OOWF doctors that I can still wrestle.

LJB: Really? That I didn’t expect.

FW: Me neither, but hey, I’m no doctor.

LJB: Fine. Did you do whatever it is you needed for the paternity test?

FW: Yes…. Did you?

LJB: What? My name isn’t on the list.

FW: No, no it isn’t. I didn’t notice that at first, but .. well, maybe it should be, hm?

LJB: Just what are you implying?

FW: Oh, nothing at all. Just thought, you know, to be fair…you’re ordering a bunch of your men to get tested, who you know have absolutely no chance of ever getting near me. To show solidarity, I’d think you’d get tested. [She leans in close to whisper…well, okay, it’s a stage whisper] Besides. Who knows what could come out during the ‘live paternity segment.’

She leans back and smiles at Bennett, who just looks at her for a moment.

FW: See you around, Larry.

Firewoman leaves, with a confused Lucky. LJ Bennett picks up the phone.

LJB: Moose?

[mooseheadjack]

**SFJ#47 is standing with L.D. Williams.**

SFJ#47: “L.D., Tytan has had a lot to say about your upcoming match. Do you wish to respond?”

LD: “Tytan, you have potential. I realize that. I’m sure the day will come when I’ll shake your hand and offer a toast to the new World Champion. It might even be after you beat me. But, it won’t be this Sunday. You know how I know? Because you are about to have the biggest match of your life. You’re going to main event a PPV with the greatest wrestler this world has ever seen. And more than that, you get to choose the stipulations – you get to choose the rules, the format, the location, anything you want. And you choose…a hell in the cell match.
Tytan, I have walked that aisle with barbed wire ropes and broken glass glued to my fists. I’ve wrestled in an Ultimate Punjabi Prison X Triple Scaffold Weapons On A Pole Match, and thirteen months later I still don’t know what that is. Cage matches, ladder matches, chain matches, street fights, barroom brawls, you name it, I’ve done it and bought the T-shirt. And your big plan is…hell in a cell.
And then – then – you follow up this brilliant master stroke by…adding enforcers. This is somehow supposed to tip things in your favor? Moose doesn’t interfere in my business, but if it comes to taking sides, we both know how that’ll go. They’ll have to bring Stank out in a straight jacket the way he’s going, and he’s liable to kill us both. Davin is so convinced that he’s the chosen one and that he has to be the one to beat me that I’m more afraid he’ll try to help me win than make me lose. And Poe…I have no idea why Poe would give a rat’s rear-end about either one of us.
But Tytan, all kidding aside, I will give you credit for this: If you want to make a name for yourself, if you want to prove that you belong among the elite, this match is the way to do it. Sunday night, you and I will give new meaning to Hell in the Cell, and for the next twenty years the people of Qeqetarsaug will be saying ‘I remember when’, and maybe, if, AND ONLY IF, you are as good as you think you are, Qeqetarsaug, the OOWF, and the world, will Remember. Your. Name.”

[mooseheadjack]

<LD walks away from his promo segment and we see Moose waiting>

MHJ: One hell of a promo right there

LDW: Sometimes they come, sometimes they don't. So what are your intentions this week?

MHJ: Well, I plan on somehow getting Eric to focus for twenty or so minutes so we can kick the holy shit out of Crete and Jack

LDW: That's not what I mean and you know it

MHJ: Oh, YOUR match? You have some sort of cage match or something, right?

LDW: Fuck you Moose

MHJ: Look, I have your back. That's all you need to know. Stank and Davin are going to be near death, I would bet, after their match, and who the hell knows, they may keep on fighting DURING your match

LDW: And Poe?

MHJ: Poe........Poe doesn't strike me as the type that would get involved. He will do what he is asked to do, and I know he doesn't particularly like Davin, so that should also work in your favor.

LDW: It seems like you, Stank and Poe are there to keep Moreland in control.........but why have Moreland there in the first place then?

MHJ: Well, Tytan believes he is going to win the belt, you have to think he will like it just a little more if Moreland is right there to see it

LDW: True

MHJ: And come on LD, you have to think in the back of your head that beating Tytan while Moreland is right there would be a nice shot to him too

LDW: I am not worried about that, I will leave the mind games to you. Speaking of which, you are just going to be hanging out there the whole time huh

MHJ: No, I was thinking about waiting until about halfway through the match knocking out Moreland, Stank and Poe, then grabbing the title and blasting you in the face with it allowing Tytan to get the win. Then as he is celebrating, I would invoke some long forgotten title shot I was promised and demand the match right then, beat an already weakened Tytan and walk out of there with the title.

<LD just stops and stares at Moose, Moose notices he stopped and turns and laughs>

MHJ: Calm down champ, I don't have a long forgotten promised shot at the title that I am aware of. Relax man. You DO need a beer

<Moose and LD head down the hall and we fade out>