OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 01-05-05

[mooseheadjack]

MidWeek Mayhem Lineup (01-05-05)

Morte & LI vs. Brad Smoley & Smark
LD Williams vs. Antoine Cutter
Outback Jack & Gator Bait vs. Ax-Man & Chris Cole
Niles Anderson vs. Mark Vander
Moosehead Jack vs. Endo
GimmickMan vs. JW Westgaard
Hellion & Corax vs. Ecosystem & Grunt
Viper vs. Eric O'Mac
Canadian Dragon vs. Blade vs. Beast
Dragons vs. Carl Coolname & Chris Alt - Non-Title Match
Concrete TG vs. Attitude Adjuster
Microplay vs. Hardbody Harris

As usual card is subject to change

[mooseheadjack]

*Chris Alt is sitting on a folding chair in the locker room talking on his cell phone when Carl Coolname comes crashing in*

CC: Chris! Yo, Chris! I gotta talk to you!

CA (covering the mouthpiece): Carl! I'm on the friggin phone, here!

CC: It's IMPORTANT!

CA (exaspaerated, into the phone): Hey, can I call you back? Something came up at work I need to take care of. K, later. (hangs up phone) What is it, spaz?

CC: Have you seen the lineup for next week's MidWeek Mayhem?

CA (rolling his eyes): No, but let me guess: Hellion and Corax want a rematch.

CC: No, but I'm sure we'll have to give em one sooner or later.

CA: OK, you got me. Who are we facing?

CC: The Dragons!

CA (jumping to his feet): The Dragons? Carl, are you kidding me? We've got a shot against the Dragons?

CC: Slow down buddy... it's a non-title match.

CA: Dammit!

CC: BUT all we gotta do is beat them, and we'll get a title match for sure. We can do this, Chris. We're a sweet ass team dude, we can beat anybody. We beat Hellion and Corax, why can't we beat the Dragons?

CA (starting to grin slowly): You're right, Carl. We can beat the Dragons. We WILL beat the Dragons. We're going to have the tag team titles before you even know it, buddy.

CC: I told you this was awesome!

CA: Go get your car ready. We're hitting the gym. I don't want you to think about one single solitary thing other than defeating the Dragons next week. It's time to get focused.

CC: But it's New Year's Eve! I thought you were going to take me out to meet some babes!

CA: Forget the women, Carl. FIRST we get the tag team titles... THEN we get the women.

CC: Then let's get moving!

[mooseheadjack]

* Attitude Adjuster is in line at the famous, elite night club Club Chic when The Microphone Stand with Boobs and No Name walks up to him. *

TMSwBaNN: "Attitude Adjuster, you finally got your match with Concrete TG. How do you feel?"

AA: "Honey, right now, I'm on top of the world. It's New Year's Eve. I'm hanging with P. Diddy, J. Lo, J. Garn, B. Fleck...and some guy named Stuart Stone. But I got the 411 about my match, and I have to tell you, this pisses me off. Now I have to prepare for a match against the one person I half-way respect in the OOWF, just five days after New Years."

* The line moves forward, and AA nears the club's door. *

"I was going to party until dawn, then get on my jet and fly around the world, just for the fun of it. But now I figure I have to leave this place about 3 a.m., get some sleep, go to the gym and maybe do some push ups or something. That ought to be enough."

* AA is next to get into Club Chic. *

"So remember, Concrete, the reason I beat you to a pulp January 5 is because I don't get to enjoy myself tonight. This is your fault!"

* A bouncer confronts AA. *

Bouncer: "Dude, how many times do I have to tell you: You're not getting in the club tonight. We threw you out last night, the night before that and the night before that. Don't make me hurt you again. And get that stupid camera away from me!"

* The bouncer turns to TMSwBaNN * "Now YOU can come in. In fact, here's some VIP passes so you can get on stage and dance for us tonight. Maybe I'll see you later tonight?"

TMSwBaNN giggles, smiles and leaves. AA walks to the back of the line to try again.

[mooseheadjack]

The camera focuses on L.D. Williams and Johnny Adrenaline relaxing in JA's living room, reading the lineup for the next Midweek Mayhem:

LD: “Who the heck is Antoine Cutter?”

JA: “Some new guy. He beat some jobber last week.”

LD: “That’s what I thought, <sigh> You know, I really wish Eco’d stopping using me like this.”

JA: “What do you mean?”

LD: “A new guy shows up, Eco puts them in the ring with me, and I kick their backside, showing them what life is like in the OOWF.”

JA: “So you don’t think this guy’s much of a threat?”

LD: “Actually he probably is. Eco give the useless ones to Moosehead to initiate. Mr. Cutter must have something going for him, not that it’ll matter. I’m still gonna beat the crap out of him.”

JA: “Well, I don’t have a match next week, so maybe I’ll come to ringside with you. We can teach Antoine the same lesson we taught Concrete. Messing with one of us is dangerous, messing with both of us is suicide.”

Williams crumples the lineup and throws is away.

LD: “Johnny, it’s good to have you back.”

[mooseheadjack]

Dangerous Donovan Viper is sitting in the Ministry locker room with Hellion when Corax comes into the room.

V: where's the trainer?

C: Screw the trainer. Take a look at the Midweek Mayhem lineup.

V: Eric O' Mac AGAIN?!?! Didn't I just massacre that guy over the weekend?

H: Yeah, well not in a match.

V: But still. Does Eco never learn? Shit, I'll just have to massacre him again. Oh, wait... hey... you two have a match against Eco.

C: Yeah. You thinking what I'm thinking, Hell?

H: Teach him a lesson about booking you with guys with Eric O' Mac again?

C: We're going to hurt him so hard, he won't even think about keeping you from the world title scene. First we're going to crush, then we're going to torture him, then we're going to show him what real pain is. Tell 'em, Hell.

H: WEEELLLL....

V: Hey, I thought our coming up with original catchphrases that was never used by other legendary wrestler was finished over on that other thread.

H: Aw. but I wasn't there...

V: Oh, ok.

H: Ooooohhh what a rush!

C: Whoooo!!!!

V: Arriba!

H: Who said Arriba?

V: Tito Santana.

C: That's not a legend, man.

H: No, not at all.

V: Man, you guys suck. Tito ruled.

H: Tell me you didn't just say that.

V: <groan>

C: Man, don't hate the player, hate the game.

V: <double groan> Just fuck Eco up, ok?

C: Man, you're not telling us anything we don't already know.

H: Quoth the Corax, Nevermore.

Viper puts his head in his hands and walks out of the locker room.

H: Have a nice day! Bang Bang!

[mooseheadjack]

(Camera catches up with MHJ, still wearing filthy coveralls, in a dark back room)

Ok, usually I am a patient man. Usually I will sit back and watch, and wait for the right moment to strike. I will attack on my terms, when you least expect it. This time, this time things are a bit different. I know it is you Semaj B. I know you are the one trying to play mind games with me.

You keep popping up with your damn little videos, one minute you are training like you are James Bond, the next you are in some godforsaken wasteland. First my luggage dissapears, then my room gets rented, then I have to spend an extra night in jail because somehow my bank account is tapped. And now, the car I rented has been mysteriously towed. Semaj, do not mess with me. Drag your worthless ass back to the OOWF. I nearly ended your career before when you were just an insignificant bug blocking my way to Concrete's title. Now, you have really pissed me off. Stop running, stop playing super heroes, and bring your carcass back to the OOWF, when you get here you ....are......mine.

Now, until Semaj decides to grow a set and show his face around here again, I am stuck beating on whoever I can get my hands on until I get another shot at Concrete. Concrete, I may not have pinned you, but you couldn't beat me either. I will get another shot, and I will not wait long to get it either. You can rest assured that at the Dance of Death pay per view, I WILL be one of your opponants, and I WILL walk out of there with the gold.

Endo, I have no problem with you, in fact, you are another one that I have some respect for. With a little toughening up, you could very well be Establishment material. It is just your bad luck that you get me next week, and I am not in a particularly good mood, you can thank Semaj B for the beating you are about to recieve.

Until I get what I want, Semaj B's head on a pike and that Intercontinental title around my waist, blood will flow in the OOWF.

Trust me

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG is watching Moose's promo on a monitor in a locker room someplace. He smirks as he tosses a towel into his duffel)

Ah, Moose.... I see that Semaj is better at the mind game than I am. But I'm no slouch, either. I'll have to send Semaj something as a thank you.

Which reminds me, how will I pester my nemesis of matches gone by?

(CTG rummages thuogh the duffel, and pulls out a BRAND new blister pack of Sharpies)

Ah, yes.....AA needs a new mural.

(grabs the duffel and leaves with a smile on his face)

[mooseheadjack]

*Camera cuts to a dark room*

CD: "Happy New Year to all the members of The Establishment. I'd like to say what a great job you are doing...hell you even have your World Champion making the late night rounds this week to promote MidWeek Mayhem!"

*CD reaches under his jacket and pulls out the OOWF World Title*

CD: "But tell me something Eco, Jack, and Niles...isn't your World Champion missing something? Perhaps 14 lbs of solid gold known as the OOWF World Title belt?"

*CD takes the title and puts it on his shoulder*

CD: "You see, I said along time ago that the OOWF was a joke...that the title I now hold is nothing more then a prop that allows The Establishment to pretend that they are running a wrestling promotion, and not just some farce to boost their collective egos. And now the OOWF doesn't even have a belt for their World Champion to hold."

*CD looks at the belt before the camera zooms in on his eyes.*

CD: "But Establishment, the thing that's really funny is that I'm just getting started making your lives hell! Oh and Microplay, enjoy your match with Hardbody Harris...I know I will."

[mooseheadjack]

(Microplay, in the backstage area, is watching CD's parade with the Establishment intently on a monitor, realizing what's happened to his world title)

(Meanwhile, 'Skeem' Gene is in the backstage area, as Microplay approaches furiously...Microplay grabs the mic. from him right away)

MP - So...Since NO ONE has been able to beat me for my OOWF world title yet, they decide to go out and steal my title...That's right, they STEAL it. That just happens to show how cowardly the OOWF stars are, because they can't even win a match against me...

Skeem - Ahh...Micro...didn't Blade just...'

Microplay - Didn't Blade just what?! I'm STILL the OOWF world champion, and no one's ever beaten me yet...See Gene, ever since the formation of this industry, the OOWF tag titles have changed hands, and even the Intercontinental title's changed hands, but Microplay is STILL the OOWF champion. Your first, and ONLY undefeated champion, EVER. And if you think things are going to change, then you can think TWICE about them...

Canadian Dragon...You CAN'T beat me in the ring, and that's why you stole my OOWF title. You're a coward...and that's ALL you are. And if and when you step into the ring with me, that WILL be your last match!!

(Microplay leaves the interview area intensely, as cameras fade)

[mooseheadjack]

*Camera cuts to Microplay's empty dressing room...the camera pans to find Canadian Dragon looking at Microplay's collection of suits.*

CD: "Well, we finally have word from our halfwit world champion. Microplay, you are an example of EVERYTHING that is wrong with OOWF. See, I couldn't care less about you, and have no desire to represent the OOWF as it's champion."

*CD picks up one of Microplay's suits.*

CD: "But you Microplay...you are the perfect example of the OOWF. You are consumed by greed, pride, and lust. You wear your idiots crown as World Champ and fail to defend your title with skill...but instead use your connections and cheat every chance you get to hold on to your precious title."

*CD pulls out a zippo lighter and starts playing with it."

CD: "But Microplay, what you seem to be forgetting is how disposable to The Establishment. See, as easy as it is for you to walk out on The Establishment in a match...it'll be as easy for them to replace you. Hell, they all ready tried to do so with Hardbody Harris. See, in your lust for money and possessions you forget that their is no honour with thieves. See Microplay, you are playing with fire."

*CD pull out the OOWF World Title and places it on his shoulder before setting Micoplay's suit on fire.*

CD: "And when you play with fire, you run the risk of seeing everything you cherish go up in smoke. Sleep well, Microplay...and Establishment, I hope you have insurance."

*CD drops the zippo as the entire room catches on fire before the video signal cuts out.*

[mooseheadjack]

* The camera opens with a closeup of two hands adjusting a camera. One of the hands knocks on the lens. *

"Hey Concrete, are you listening? Are you there? This isn't about Sharpies any more, man. This is about the one and only reason I came to this rundown wrestling association, your title.

I beat you a couple months back, on a card that was named Indy Card of the Year for 2004, thanks to me...and you, I guess. Since then you've run like a coward from me. What, you expected me to find you here? In the OOWF? Get real. I expected more from even you than to be here. You have more talent in your right hand than any of these wrestlers put together. Of course I have more talent in my left thumb than you do in your entire body, but that's a story for January 5.

This is all I've asked for since I've been here. I beat every possible contender: LD Williams, Mooseheadjack, even survived a sneak attack from Johnny Adrenaline. I could have taken him out last week for you, but I saw you were doing so well by yourself.

Shine that title up nice and bright. And don't mark it up any with those damn pens either! Because January 5, the Intercontinental Title will be around the waist of someone who can make the OOWF mainstream.

After I beat you, Concrete, that belt will be on Letterman, Leno, hell, it will even make an appearance on Jon Stewart just for my personal friend, The Rick. I got his brother his start in Hollywood, you know...

January 5, Concrete. Be ready for a real opponent for a change.

[mooseheadjack]

*Niles is on his cell phone*

Niles - Did you see the match listings? Yeah yeah, I know about you, but did you see who they put me up against? Mark Frickin' Vander. You know, North Carolina RidgeRunner World Champion? That's not a title to be laughed at. My undefeated streak in singles competition is in jeopardy. So what I'm saying here is I need some insurance during that match. I can't lose no matter what the cost. And I want that title too. Mark Vander has to realize that when you're steppin' to the Specimen, your to tread lightly, or you're gonna get burned. Yeah yeah, I'll pick up the melba toast for our meeting today. Good bye.

*Niles hangs up the phone and heads down the hallway as the screen fades to black*

[mooseheadjack]

OOwf locker room, J.W. Westgaard sitting by himself in front of a locker

Westgaard (talking to himself): so tonight, in my second match of my OOWF career, i get to fight someone who is considered a world title contender. Well This should be fun." (smiles) "Don't ya know there's nuthin' like brawling with someone who knows how to fight. Hey Gimmickman..." (picks up goalie stick resting it on his shoulder and looks into the camera)..."after the match beers are on me, at least you'll still be able to drink a few brewskis with your jaw wired shut"

[mooseheadjack]

*shot of Cutter from behind, standing next to a huge swimming pool overlooking the city of LA*


LD Williams...

LD Williams.....

What the fuck is a LD Williams?!? I'll tell you what it is, it's a walking joke that ain't gonna be walking no more after this weeks match. I'ma teach you what it's like to experience pain son. I'm new around here, and you got the unlucky slot of meeting me on my way to the top. Kiss your wife and kids before Thursday man, after that that bitch'll be feeding you through a tube...

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem III (01-05-05)

Live! From Baldhead, Maine! At the Rogaine Civic Center and Barber College!

MORTE & LI vs. “THE RABID BISCUIT” BRAD SMOLEY & SMARK

Morte and LI are in the ring first, Smark comes out followed by Smoley, although this time, Smoley has on some really tight wrestling pants and a dead serious look on his face. Hmm. Smark starts off with LI; it does not go very well. Smark tries a few chops; they have little effect on LI. LI turns and spin kicks Smark, nearly knocking him out of his boots. LI backs him into the corner and lays in some sick chops, nasty red welts raise up on Smark’s chest. Judo thrust to the throat leaves Smark gasping for air on the mat. LI tags in Morte who picks up Smark and levels him with an atomic drop. Cover gets two. Morte sends Smark to the ropes and catches him with a Samoan drop. Both men to their feet, Smark rakes the eyes and hotshots Morte on the top rope. Smark drops an elbow and makes a tag to Smoley. Smoley makes a cutting motion across his throat and climbs to the top rope (!) It appears that he was trying for a swan dive head but, but he crashed to the mat a good four feet from Morte, Morte looks somewhat amused. He tags in LI, who picks up Smoley and connects with an enzuguri. Smoley falls to his knees, LI measures him and tajiri kicks him in the face, Smoley is out. LI tags Morte who scales the ropes and drops a flying leg drop across the prone Smoley. Three seconds later, it is over.
WINNERS in 3:19 Morte & LI

ANTOINE CUTTER vs. LD WILLIAMS

LDW attacks to start, throwing AC from the ring and following him to the outside. LDW slams AC on the concrete and chokes him with his boot. LDW rolls back inside and waits, AC gets to his feet and taunts LDW from the outside, LDW leaves the ring and chases AC, Ac makes it around the ring and slides in before LDW can catch him. As LDW slides under the bottom rope, AC comes off the ropes and connects with a drop kick right to LDW’s mouth. LDW falls to the mat grabbing his jaw in pain. Ac climbs the ropes with a single leap and hits a flying elbow that connects right on LDW’s jaw. Cover gets a two count. Ac gets LDW to his feet and grabs a side headlock, LDW shoves him off, AC rebounds and leaps on LDW’s shoulders, he rolls forward in a victory roll that gets a two count. Both men up again, AC with a head scissors that leaves LDW laying on the middle rope, AC charges and hits a 619 knocking LDW back into the middle of the ring. Like a cat, AC hits the top rope again and lands a perfect moonsault for a two count. As AC tries to pick up LDW again, LDW stops his momentum with a low blow. With AC doubled over in pain LDW jumps up and drops him with a DDT. Cover gets two. LDW picks up AC and hits a pump handle suplex for another two count. LDW whips AC to the corner and charges in for a shoulder block, AC moves, climbing to the top rope, and sunset flips through for a two count, LDW rolls through and murders AC with a lariat. LDW picks up AC and power bombs him and locks on the STF. AC makes it to the ropes to break the hold, LDW releases, picks up AC and tries another power bomb, AC reverses the move into a pinning combination. LDW kicks out at two. AC tries a clothesline, LDW moves and hits a full nelson slam, he pounces on AC, rolls him over and reapplies the STF, this time AC can not reach the ropes and is forced to submit.
WINNER in 9:03 LD Williams

OUTBACK JACK & GATORBAIT vs. AX-MAN & CHRIS COLE

Jack and Cole start out; CC gets the advantage by kicking OBJ in the midsection and clubbing away at the back of his neck. The two battle to the ropes, CC chokes Jack on the rope, breaking only at four. CC slingshots OBJ back to the center of the ring, then lays his knee across Jack’s throat. The ref threatens to DQ Cole. Cole picks up Jack and slams him hard to the canvas. Cole tags in Ax, Ax drops an elbow onto Jack’s sternum and covers, Jack is able to kick out at one. Both men to their feet, Ax whips Jack to the ropes and tries a dropkick, Jack is able to hold on to the ropes and Ax hits nothing but canvas. As Ax gets to his feet, Jack levels him with a clothesline. Ax springs up again, and is leveled again with a clothesline. Jack tags in Gator, Gator charges and nails Ax with an elbow between the eyes. Gator lifts Ax into the air and delivers an atomic drop, Ax collapses in pain. Gator climbs to the second rope, waits for Ax to get to his feet, and drops him with a double ax handle right between the eyes. Quick tag to Jack, who comes in and buries a knee into Ax’s midsection. Jack rebounds off the ropes and bulldogs Ax to the mat. Cover is broken up at two by CC. Both men to their feet, Ax goes to the eyes and slams Jack’s head into the turnbuckle. Ax whips Jack across the ring to CC’s corner, as Ax argues with the referee; CC chokes Jack with the tag rope. Gator comes in to argue with the referee and Ax goes to the corner and picks up Jack’s legs, making the rope choke more intense. Finally after several seconds, the ref is able to get Gator out of the ring, turns and sees the illegal double teaming. The ref threatens the DQ and AX and CC break the hold. Jack stumbles from the corner gasping for breath. Ax sends Jack to the ropes and hits a devastating spine buster. Gator makes the save, or this one might have been over. Ax picks up Jack and tries for the submission with a hangman’s neck breaker. Jack refuses to quit and Ax drop him. Ax sends Jack to the corner and charges in behind him, Jack gets the boot up and Ax eats Jack’s size fourteen. AX is down, Jack staggers toward his corner, but before he can make it CC comes in and levels him with a high knee to the face. Both men down, the ref begins the ten count. Jack pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, Ax is also up, he comes after Jack, but Jack lunges and makes the tag to Gator. Gator comes in on fire, he levels Ax with a brutal chop, CC charges in the ring, Gator stops him with a boot to the face. Gator then grabs CC and Ax, double noggin knocker sends CC to the outside and Ax to the mat. Jack is recovering on the apron. Inside the ring, Gator waits, when Ax gets to his feet, Gator scoops him up and nails a chomp. Ax is out. One problem though, Gator did not notice the ref standing there and when he scooped Ax, he clipped the ref. The ref is down. Outside, CC pulls Jack off the ring apron and pedigrees him on the floor; he grabs a chair and slides inside the ring. Inside, Gator is covering a prone Ax looking for the ref. He never sees Cole behind him, and Cole slams the chair down across the top of Gator’s head, opening a gash on top of his head. Gator is out, Cole rolls Gator over and pulls Ax on top of him, Cole drags a groggy ref over to the pile of wrestlers, the ref makes the three count, he never saw the chair shot.
WINNERS in 12:34 Ax-Man & Chris Cole

NILES ANDERSON vs. MARK VANDER – For the North Carolina State RidgeRunner World Title

Niles is the aggressor for most of the match, keeping Vander off balance with a mix of brawling and mat wrestling. Vander nearly gets the win when he reverses a superplex into a second rope German suplex. Vander is able to keep up the momentum, getting another near fall when he hits a t-bone power slam. NA bails out of the ring, Vander catches him on the apron, and tries to belly to back suplex him back into the ring, but Vander simply collapses and NA falls on top of him. The ref looks puzzled but makes the three count. When the ref raises Anderson’s hand, he notices the chain wrapped around his fist. The ref immediately disqualifies Anderson and declares Vander the victor.
WINNER by DQ in 18:00, Mark Vander

After the match, NA snaps, he turns to the ref and KO’s him with the chain. He goes after Vander, but Vander’s management team is able to pull him from the ring in time. Anderson turns back to the ref, mounts the fallen official and pounds away at his forehead until the ref is wearing a crimson mask. Vander breaks away from his management team to save the ref. Vander tackles Anderson and the two brawl around the ring, Vander finally gets the upper hand with a series of rights. Moosehead Jack hits the ring and attacks Vander from behind. MHJ and NA set Vander up for a powerbomb-neckbreaker but officials flood the ring and chase the Establishment members from the ring. Vander and his associates celebrate in the ring, and check on the bloody referee.

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. ENDO

MHJ comes back out to the ring for this match. These two have no issue with each other, but you would never have known it from this match. This one was a bloodbath; both men were pouring blood within five minutes. Jack drew blood first when he slammed Endo’s face into the ring post. Within a minute, Endo returned the favor, bloodying Jack with a bottle to the forehead. The ref was barely able to contain the match; the ring was littered with weapons and blood. At one point the two had each retrieved kendo sticks from under the ring and stood toe to toe trading headshots. At about the ten minute mark, Jack was holding a barbed wire baseball bat, Endo was holding a piece of lead pipe, both men are covered in blood, there are chairs and table debris all over the ring. The two stare each other down in the middle of the ring and then . . . . both men begin laughing. They drop their weapons and meet in the middle of the ring, and shake hands?!? What the hell? As Endo turns to leave, Jack keeps hold of his hand, he pulls him toward him, kicks him in the midsection and DDT’s him on a chair. Jack covers and gets three.
WINNER – Moosehead Jack in 13:58
After the match MHJ helps Endo to his feet, shakes his hand and leaves the ring beckoning Endo to follow him. Endo looks confused for a moment and slowly follows Jack to the back

GIMMICKMAN vs. JW WESTGAARD

GM doesn’t take the newcomer very seriously at first. JWW nearly gets a pin fall when he hits Gm with a pounce. GM bails to regain his senses and JWW makes the mistake of following him outside. The two brawl around ringside for a moment, but GM is able to free himself and get back into the ring. When JWW comes in, GM is able to attack and levels JWW with several European uppercuts. GM keeps JWW grounded and works over the knee and back. JWW fights his way back up and stuns GM with a power slam. JWW lifts GM and gets a two count after a jackhammer. JWW picks up GM for his spinning pile driver, but GM escapes with a back body drop. JWW quickly recovers and hits a spear for another near pin. Thinking the match is his to win, JWW tries to whip GM to the ropes, GM reverses the whip, holds on to JWW, pulls him back and right into a Spartan Plunge. GM covers and hooks both legs to get the pin and win.
WINNER in 8:42 GimmickMan

HELLION & CORAX vs. ECOSYSTEM & GRUNT

Hellion and Corax start off strong, taking their anger out on Ecosystem. They double team Eco often and keep Grunt out of the ring. The end nearly comes early when Corax hits a shining wizard that Hellion turns into a spike DDT on Eco. The pin is broken up by Grunt. After several minutes of being thrashed by Hellion and Corax, Eco is able to make a tag to Grunt. Grunt destroys Corax with a choke slam, and a big boot takes Hellion out of the ring, crashing to the floor on the outside. Hellion and Corax regain the advantage briefly by taking out Grunt’s knee, but they can not keep the big man down for a three count. As Grunt staggers to his feet, Corax attempts a cross body block from the top rope; Grunt catches him, presses him high above his head and throws him over the top rope through the Canadian Announce table. Eco rushes over to Corax and taunts him, kicking him the whole time. Back inside, Grunt crushes Hellion with an avalanche in the corner and grabs him in a choke slam. Grunt holds Hellion high in the air and walks him around the ring. Before he can slam him to the mat, Blade comes through the crowd with his bat. Blade hits the ring, and lays out Grunt with a shot to the back of the head. Blade escapes back through the crowd, Hellion falls on Grunt and the ref, once again not seeing anything, makes the three count.
WINNERS in 13:02 Hellion & Corax

DONOVAN VIPER vs. ERIC O’MAC

Eric comes out strong and dominates the match. Angry over being taken out last week, EOM puts a beating on Viper. Viper tries to escape to the outside, but ends up eating a chair to the mouth (RVD’s old move where he tosses the chair to his opponent then spin kicks the chair in his face) With DV down, EOM puts him on the Venezuelan Announce table and hits a five star frog splash from the inside of the ring out through the table. With DV seemingly out of it, EOM rolls him into the ring, a flying leg drop almost gets a three count, but DV gets a foot on the ropes. EOM throws DV out of the ring again, and power bombs him off of the apron to the arena floor. DV is able to make it back into the ring just before getting counted out. EOM takes DV over the top rope with a flying clothesline, with both men on the floor, DV is able to reach under the ring and grab his chain, he wraps it around his elbow and hits a death elbow on EOM. Viper is able to roll back into the ring just before the ten count, EOM is not so lucky. DV collapses to the mat after the ref raises his arm.
WINNER in 6:52 by count out, Donovan Viper

After the match, EOM is furious, he brings a chair into the ring and waits for DV to get to his feet, he levels DV with a brutal chair shot to the head. EOM slams the chair across DV’s ribs several times, then slides the chair under DV. EOM scales the ropes again and lands a brutal frog splash on DV. DV screams in pain (once he gets some of his wind back) and grabs his ribs. EOM leaves the ring, taunting DV.

CANADIAN DRAGON vs. BLADE vs. BEAST

CD irritates the other two by carrying the world title to the ring and taunting them with it. Beast puts an end to that little display by slamming his fist down on top of CD’s head. It is obvious that Blade is nursing injured ribs from the attack from Grunt at last weeks show, Beast takes advantage of this by working over Blades ribs with power moves. CD was not as active for most of the match, choosing instead to pick his spots to attack. End almost comes when Beast catches Blade coming off the top rope and turns it into a thunderous power slam. As the ref was about to count three, CD breaks up the pin with a kick to Beast’s head. CD bails from the ring before Beast can get his hands on him. With Beast distracted by CD, Blade takes over, doing what he can to take the big man off of his feet. Blade gets a near pin by hitting a tornado DDT on Beast, but as usual CD makes it in the ring and breaks the pin up. This time however, as CD is trying to flee the ring, Blade catches him and wails on him with shots to the head. CD escapes the beating by kneeing Blade in the ribs. His escape doesn’t last long, he runs right into the hands of Beast, who gives him a giant choke slam. Beast covers, but Blade is able to break the move up. As Blade and Beast battle, CD is able to escape to the outside ring apron. Beast levels Blade with a massive clothesline and hits the ropes to finish him off. When he gets to the ropes, CD low bridges him and Beast tumbles over the top rope, crashing to the concrete floor. CD grabs his stolen world title and cracks Beast right between the eyes, putting him down on the arena floor, he then slides under the bottom rope and slams the title into Blade’s injured ribs. Blade crumples to the mat; CD tosses the title out of the ring, hits a dragon sault on Blade and gets a three count.
WINNER in 15:09 Canadian Dragon

After the match, Microplay hits the ring and lays out CD with an attack from behind. MP grabs his title and turns to leave the ring . . . where he runs into Beast. Beast sees MP holding the title and assumes that he was the one who hit him. MP begs off, but Beast levels him with a right cross to the jaw. MP falls to the mat, and his title slides across the ring. CD, ever the opportunist, grabs the title and takes off to the back.

DRAGONS vs. CARL COOLNAME & CHRIS ALT – Non-title Match

The Dragons come out and dominate the match, wanting to send a message to the other teams involved in the four way dance of death. Every time Alt or Coolname get the upper hand, one of the Dragons cuts them off. End nearly comes early when BD hits a top rope dragon suplex, and SD springboards into the ring with a spin kick. Alt fights back hitting a modified front suplex and rolling it through to a pinning combination on SD. BD makes the save at two. The match appears to be over when the Dragons hit a German suplex, leg drop combo, BD picks up Alt and hits a release German suplex, just as Alt crashes to the mat; SD springs off the top rope with a flying leg drop. Instead of going for the pin, SD picks up Alt for a DDT, with the ref escorting BD out of the ring, neither sees Coolname come in and super kick SD in the mouth, SD falls and a semi-conscious Alt rolls him up. The ref turns just in time to see the pin, and counts three. BD assumed it was SD making the cover, by the time he realized that it wasn’t, it was too late, BD tried to make it into the ring in time to break up the pin, but Coolname cut him off by hitting a reverse DDT.
WINNERS in 20:21 Chris Alt & Carl Coolname


CONCRETE TG vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER

These two finally square off after over a month of AA bad mouthing CTG. CTG is sporting a lot of bruises and bandages; he has been through hell in the last six weeks. AA attacks quickly to start. A series of clotheslines and neck breakers gets AA a quick two count. AA seems to focus on the neck, CTG tries to fight back, sending AA to the ropes, CTG lowers his head a moment too soon and AA drops him with a corkscrew DDT. AA gets long two count, CTG is able to roll the shoulder just in time. AA goes old school and uses everything he can to injure CTG’s neck, which has already been damaged by, well by damn near everyone in OOWF. AA grounds CTG with a neck vice. AA applies the dreaded Vulcan nerve grip of doom, CTG winces in pain, but will not submit. Finally CTG fights to his feet and goes on the offensive. CTG gets a close pin when he hits AA with a perfect plex. Surprisingly this remains a clean match; the two keep it inside the ring for most of the match. Finally, frustrated with his inability to pin CTG, AA throws him over the top rope, CTG is able to hold on, and skin the cat and make it back into the ring. CTG attacks from behind and lifts AA into a backbreaker/airplane spin. After spinning for several seconds, CTG lets go and AA crashes to the mat. CTG staggers over to AA and makes the cover, but AA is able to roll the shoulders at two. CTG grabs AA’s legs and nails a giant swing. When he is released, AA falls out of the ring; he tries to get up, but can not stand. The only thing that saves him from a count out is that inside the ring, an equally dizzy CTG stumbles into the referee, knocking him over and breaking the count. Finally AA makes it back into the ring. CTG tries a shining wizard, AA ducks and when CTG spins back around, AA applies the claw! CTG screams in pain and sinks to his knees, then collapses to the mat. The ref counts two, CTG gets the shoulder up, another two count, CTG just gets the shoulder up, the crowd is going insane cheering him on. CTG finally inches his way to the ropes and the ref forces the break. AA climbs the ropes, as CTG gets slowly to his feet, AA leaps trying for a double axe handle; CTG catches him and turns it into a belly to belly overhead release suplex. Both men to their feet, AA tries a clothesline, CTG ducks, goes behind and lifts AA for a belly to back suplex. They crash to the mat, CTG holds on to the move, both men’s shoulders are down, 1, 2 CTG rolls his shoulder 3! AA rolls his shoulder as well, but the ref says it was not in time.
WINNER in 28:22 and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Concrete TG

After the match, AA realizes the mistake he made and rolls out of the ring to the floor he buries his head in his hands in frustration. In the ring, CTG stands victorious, for about a second when LD Williams and Johnny Adrenaline storm out from the back. They hit the ring, CTG fights them off for a moment with lefts and rights, but finally the numbers game catches up with him, LDW rakes the eyes and JA attacks from behind. LDW picks up CTG for a pile driver and JA climbs the ropes intending to make it a spike pile driver. Johnny leaps, but before he can connect he is caught in mid air by. . Attitude Adjuster? AA floors the caught JA with a power slam, LDW drops CTG and tries to attack AA, he is kicked in the midsection and AA DDT’s him. JA and LDW bail out of the ring, CTG is back to his feet, AA turns and the two lock eyes for a moment. Beast and the Dragons make it to the ring; AA leaves the ring and walks to the back, never turning around to look at CTG or the other members of the as-yet-unnamed-face-faction.

MICROPLAY vs. HARDBODY HARRIS

MP attacks to start, pounding away on HH. The whole time he is yelling about Canadian Dragon and his suits. MP throws HH from the ring and follows him to the outside where he chokes him with the mic cord. MP pounds away on HH, HH finally is able to back body drop MP to stop the onslaught. HH makes it back to the ring, MP follows and attacks again, HH can not seem to stop MP who is in a craze, screaming about wanting HIS title back. HH gets in a few offensive moves, but can not sustain any advantage; MP is able to keep coming back. HH gains the advantage by hitting a To Be Edited In Later out of nowhere, but is too dazed to make a cover. When HH finally gets to his feet, MP meets him with a ridiculous clothesline that sends HH to the floor. MP picks up HH and slams him across the railing. MP then slams a chair across HH’s back leaving him on the railing. MP climbs the ropes and is about to leap off on HH, presumably crushing his throat across the rail when CD comes out on top of the ramp carrying MP’s title. MP leaves the top rope and takes off after CD. CD beats a hasty retreat to the back. HH rolls back into the ring and slumps in the corner. The ref makes the ten count and we have a winner.
WINNER by count out in 15:59 Hardbody Harris

Harris climbs to the middle turnbuckle and celebrates with his fans, the celebration does not last long however, CC and Ax hit the ring, CC catches HH on the ropes and delivers a Razor’s Edge, HH slams into the mat. The two kick HH into oblivion, Ax rolls from the ring and grabs a chair, which he uses to slam into HH’s head CC picks up HH and reverse tombstones him on the chair. Ax mounts HH and pounds away at HH’s forehead with a chain, blood pours from HH’s face and forehead. CC picks up HH and holds him; Ax swings the chair and slams it right into HH’s already tender knee. HH crumbles to the mat, CC locks on the cloverleaf. HH is tapping furiously and screaming in pain. Officials try to break it up, but Ax keeps them away. Finally GimmickMan hits the ring carrying a baseball bat, Ax and CC bail out of the ring and celebrate as they make their way to the back.

Meanwhile, in the back, MP is seen running through the back, trying to find CD. As MP rounds the corner into the parking garage, CD blindsides MP with a title shot to the head. MP falls to the ground; CD lifts him up and drops him with a michinoku driver on the concrete. CD taunts MP for a moment, then leaves. Offs screen we hear a car engine rev. As MP gets to his feet, a car comes speeding through the lot, hitting MP as he gets to his feet. MP flips onto the hood and slams into the windshield spider webbing the glass. CD slams on the brakes and MP flies off the hood and crashes in a heap to the ground. CD stops, gets out looks for a second, then gets back in the car and speeds away. The camera focuses on MP for a moment, then cuts back to the ring and focuses on a bloody HH still laying in the ring, then fades to black.


**** ok guys, quick note, some of the matches are a little shorter than the others, I am starting a full schedule of classes tomorrow and I want to keep doing the cards cause I am having so much fun, but to do that and keep up with school work, the matches will have to be a lot more brief. Besides, I am sure you guys got bored trying to wade through the matches blow by blow. Hopefully you guys will still enjoy a more condensed form****

[mooseheadjack]

*OOWF's token female interviewer is standing in the locker room with a battered and dazed but jubilant team of Chris Alt and Carl Coolname*

FI: Chris Alt, Carl Coolname, congratulations on your non-title victory over the Dragons tonight. You two have been an amazing tandem in your first few weeks here in the OOWF. What's next for you?

CC: What's next? Baby, the sky is the limit from here! We gave the champs everything we had, and we beat them, one, two, three! And sure, they're a phenominal team, and they didn't win those tag team titles by being easy to beat, and I'd even dare go so far to say that they're so good that they could possibly beat us in a rematch... but they won't.

CA: Dragons! Take a good long hard look at us. We're the team that's going to take your tag team titles. We beat you tonight, and we WILL beat you again. It wasn't easy. Hell no it wasn't, it was the fight of our lives. But we did it tonight, and I know that we can do it again. 2005 isn't going to be the year of the dragons... but it will be the year that Chris Alt and Carl Coolname conquer the tag team division in the OOWF.

CC: Now hit the bricks, chickie. We got some partyin to do!

*fade to black as Carl lets out a loud "whoooooo" while Alt sneers intensely at the camera*

[mooseheadjack]

The Camera goes backstage with The 3 Piece Set and random interviewer-man. Who is none other then Lord Alfred Hayes love child with Sensational Sherri.

LAH Jr: I’m standing backstage now with the 3 Piece Set, The Ax-man and the Main Event Chris Cole. Fellows you displayed an unnecessary amount violence and aggression tonight against HH, care to answer why?

C: No.

A: what my esteemed colleague meant to say was, bugger off, no. Here’s our theory Alfred Martel. You see I beat Hung-over Harris twice and he’s never beaten me ever, and do you know why?

LAH Jr: Well…

C: Of coarse he doesn’t.

A: And your right Chris. Lil’ Alfred doesn’t know. So I’ll tell everyone why, Harris isn’t in my league, he isn’t in Chris’s league. I’ve beaten the ever livin’ hell out of that ass wriggling cum-stain on a foam mattress twice, and he gets a shot a the world champion? Not me, or Chris.

LAH Jr: Well he hasn’t beaten HH.

A: Yes, but he could.

C: That’s right I could, don’t you believe us?

LAH Jr: Well it’s just that, things don’t work that here.

A: He’s the Main Event Chris Cole, not Hardbody Chris Cole, or “THE RABID BISCUIT” Chris Cole or the Albino Dragon Chris Cole. And that’s all you need to know lil’ Alfred.

C: Precisely, we are cut above everyone else in this company.

A: Well I don’t think I could have put it better my self. So Hardly Harris can consider himself luckily, next time he should concentrate on where he is…

C: and that lil Alfred is not sucking up to the fans and posing, but rather in the firing line of the Set.

A: Now that’s enough time talking about Googolplex H, next question.

LAH Jr: Any warnings for Gimmickman

C: Just clear out, and mind your own business


LAH Jr: Any comments on your tag match tonight.

C: The Dragons better study that tape, and learn, and that is their only warning.

A: exactly as it stands, we might not be top contenders but that works to our advantage.

LAH Jr: how?

A: You see at the up coming OOWF PPV extravaganza, the Dance with death, the Dragons are going to face 3 opponents, and the match doesn’t end until there’s been 3 decisions.

C: That’s right so the way we see it who ever wins is going to be mighty sore and as you explained previously lil’ Alfred you’ve got to beat people in the OOWF to get a title shot not crow about. And we are going to continue beating people, and after the Dance of death when everyone else is beaten, then that’ll leave the champ’s who wrestled 3 teams in one night and us, the 3 Piece Set, fresh as ever and as hungry for gold as ever.

A: We can beat any two man combinationthis company has to offer,and Hardlyanyone Harris, just do you self and all your Hard-on-maniacs a favor and just give it up, you can’t beat this. Now lil Freddy this interview is what we call in the industry over.

C: You can have exclusive interview rights, to interview the new tag-champs in about a month, OK. Gotta go, we’ve got Women to have.

[mooseheadjack]

back in the lockerroom as Chris Cole and Axe-man are preparing to leave for a party with their groupies.

CC: Can you believe that prick Hayes implying that I couldn't beat Harris. Did you see him crying like a baby when I had that cloverleaf locked in?

A: I know you can beat him. I've wrestled him and I've seen you in action. It would be no contest.

CC: Nothing like being out their in the Main Event. We proved tonight we belong their and not Hard-on Harris. He claims to be the number one face in OOWF but all he is to me is the first face in the OOWF that I split open. Oh wait, I did split open Smark too. he he, that was damn funny too.

A: We were awesome tonight. It's time to go hit the road and claim our reward. Bitches!!!

CC: Now your talking

[mooseheadjack]

[The scene cuts to Sexy Female Journalist #237 standing in in the backstage interview area, where she is getting ready for an interview when Johnny Adrenaline and L.D. Williams storm in, highly pissed off.]

SFJ: Guys, I'm supposed to be interviewing Outback Jack and GatorBait right now.

JA: Well plans have changed sweetheart! Cause we're here!

LDW: Besides, didn't you read the script?

SFJ: Well, I, uh...here, you guys just talk!

[SFJ #237 hands Johnny the mic and leaves looking like she ready to cry.]

JA: So that's how it is, huh? Attitude Adjuster, you've been out here for weeks now, taking your little potshots at the good name of Johnny Adrenaline! You just stroll up into the OOWF and think you can just make a name for yourself like you're some kind of big shot! What's it to you if me and L.D. put that piece of trash Concrete on the shelf?? That's our business, not yours! But since you feel the urge to stick your nose in OUR business, I'm throwing out the challenge: me and you, next week, Midweek Mayhem.

LDW: And another thing, Concrete. That little title around your waist, it's mine. It's only a matter of time before it comes home.

JA: Concrete, me and you, we ain't done. I know I can't challenge you one on one ever again for that title; that was part of the deal. But it doesn't mean my main man, L.D. Williams can't. So be a man and give him another shot. You know yourself that it was a fluke that you walked away with the title last time.

LDW: Fear me.

JA: Fear the man! Cause Johnny...Knows...Best.

[Johnny drops the mic and walks off, as L.D. glares into the camera and slowly leaves the picture.]

[mooseheadjack]

Viper, Hellion, and Corax are in the locker room celebrating. Well, trying to celebrate as they nurse their wounds.

V: Good job out there guys. (clutches ribs)

H: Yeah, (rubs neck) that was rough. Grunt's a tough bastard.

C: I just wish we got to beat up on Ecosystem some more. (eats pudding)

H: You did good too, Viper. Although I think you pissed him off.

V: Yeah, I did. Well, I'd be pissed off too if I was as much of a bitch as him. I'm gonna do a lot of pissing people off around here. I'm gonna piss off Canadian Dragon, because he stole my idea for stealing belts. I'm gonna piss off Microplay, because I'm going to win his belt. I'm gonna piss off Beast, because he's just that annoying. And I'm gonna piss off Hardbody Harris, because I'm going to go steal his bitches. And his shoes. Those nice shoes of his.

C: Uh, Donnie?

V: And you know who else I'm going to piss off? Ecosystem, because he's not going to be able to stop the world title belonging to the New Age Ministry. And then, I'm going to piss ON him.

C: Um, I heard he likes that, actually.

H: Yeah, he's kinda weird like that. You've never seen the video tape with him and Korya?

V: Oh god, I have. My god, Korya is the most disgusting woman I've ever seen. Her clitoris is like 3 inches long! and it's above her ass instead of her pussy? What the hell is up with that? And all that acne... on her feet! That's just disgusting. (clutches ribs again) Ow!

C: Feet acne?! I'm gonna hurl. (throws up into pudding)

C: Ah fuck! My pudding!

[mooseheadjack]

*The arena goes black. The crowd is wondering what goes on when all of a sudden, the deep humming bass of Massive Attack's "Angel" starts playing, alerting the crowd to Niles Anderson's presence. Blue streaks of lights are strobing through the arena, giving the ring entrance a sort of mystic feel as Niles approaches with Grunt and LI in tow. LI is carrying a fancy looking box with hinges and a lock. Niles takes his time getting to the ring, shunning those who boo him because he knows he's great and doesn't need crowd approval. Finally, he gets to the ring and grabs a mic.*

Niles - Well well well. It seems I've done something no one else in the OOWF has done. I've pinned the incredible Mark Vander 1... 2... 3.

*Niles pauses as the crowd boo's him*

Niles - that's fine, boo me all you want. I know you recognize greatness, you just don't appreciate it. That's fine by me. But none of them hold a pinfall victory over Mark Vander. And none of them can claim themselves as...

*LI opens the box in his arms and presents the contents to Niles. Niles reaches in and pulls out...*

Niles - The North Carolina RidgeRunner World Champion!

*Niles holds the mock belt high. The crowd is going crazy with boos*

Niles - that's right, not only am I undefeated in singles competition. Not only am I the only man in the OOWF to pin Mark Vander. I am also the greatest champion to ever wear the North Carolina RidgeRunner World Championship. I'm sure Mark Vander's management team is cringing right now. I mean, he needed a management team to win this title. Mr Vander is all hype and no delivery. Whereas me? You've seen the hype behind me. But you've also seen me bring in the goods. I am one of the Establishments big players. I am the only member of the Establishment to hold gold, although after Moosehead is done with ConcreteTG, that won't be the case. I've paid my dues and now I am being recognized for it. Thank you Mark Vander for allowing me to ascend to the greatness I have been destined for since the beginning.

*Niles drops the mic and puts the North Carolina RidgeRunner World Championship over his shoulder as he leaves the ring. Grunt and LI follow as the screen fades to black*

[mooseheadjack]

* The camera opens to Attitude Adjuster in his dressing room. He's ready to leave the arena but has something to say. *

I’ll make this short and sweet (like MHJ’s new recaps), because trust me, I have better things to do than talk about lowlifes like Johnny Adrenaline and LD Williams.

Johnny, you want me at the next Midweek Mayhem, you got it. Do you think it was smart running down and attacking me last week? Wait, let me answer that for you…No! Other than I don’t respect you, I didn’t have a problem with you. You were out of the picture, gone, adios, bye-bye, ugly girl in the corner, forgotten.

You ask what’s it to me if you two decide to put Concrete on the shelf? I’ll tell you what it is to me. Concrete TG, for all his faults, is a fighting champion. He doesn’t leave the OOWF for a month and then sneak attack me while I’m in the middle of important business. I was THISCLOSE to closing out your little running buddy’s wrestling career. I don’t know what you see in LD, but then again you are Johnny Adrenaline. Not something to write home about, boy.

Now then, Concrete, here’s the deal. I’m not going to whine and complain about our match, even though it’s readily apparent that my shoulder was up and yours wasn’t. The OOWF really needs a better vision plan for the referees. Concrete, take a look at the video of our match.

* Video starts to play at the time of the decisive pin. *

Pay special attention to the time after the bell rings. You see Adrenaline, you see Williams, you see both of them kicking your tail. Then there’s me, kicking back outside the ring, watching the carnage, when it dawned on me that if someone is going to end Concrete’s title run IT’S GOING TO BE ME. So I took out Johnny Boy, took out LD. (LD, dude, how many of my DDTs do you need to eat before you avoid me?) Oh, now look, here comes your “friends,” Beast and the Dragons. Lot of good they did you there, huh? In fact, lot of good they’ve done you at all.

* Video goes black, camera comes back to AA *

All I’m saying is, Concrete, I may not like you, but I respect you. Because of that, any time you’re getting beat down or it looks like you might lose that Intercontinental title, know that I will be there. Because there is only one person that beats you for that Intercontinental belt…and that’s me!

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG is icing his neck down yet again as he watches AA's promo. He nods to himself as he packs up his duffel)

AA, you and Moose have a lot in common...

before either of you take that wrong, let me explain.

You two are the most intent on ending my title reign, and possibly my career if the opportunity presents itself. Everyone else here keeps trying to do one or the other.

You two, however, give me reason to turn it up a notch in the ring, because you two are more than capable of actually succeeding.

Now while I'm sure you two have plans, please keep me in mind - I'm not sure who is gonna take a shot at my IC title next, but rest assured I'll be ready.

As to my compatriots in my as-yet-unnamed face faction - can we at least TRY for a name here? Yeah, it's kinda funny, but it doesn't sell T-shirts or comic books.

(CTG rubs his neck with the ice pack before tossing it out and gathering his gear to go)

oh, and AA.....

....Thanks.

[mooseheadjack]

*A child's birthday party is shown on the screen. Kids are running around, yelling, laughing, playing, and having a good time. Most of the children have popsicle sticks in their hands, and the sun is shining brightly in this backyard scene. The camera zooms out, and the audience can see the back of Hardbody Harris's head as he watches the television screen. He speaks, with his back still to the camera.*

"You know, all my life I've been the best at what I do. I've won several Kung Fu awards, won many a "hot body" contest during my college years, and even had one of my questions answered in Nintendo Power. I'm more able than anyone, and I've always been able to put my money where my mouth is."

"Unfortunately, with talent comes envy, and ever since I was a young kid I've had people cheat me and beat me up. Look here at my 9th birthday party. That's me in the B.U.M. Equipment shirt and the baseball hat with rhinestones on it. Some friends and I are playing musical chairs, and I have the game in hand, when..."

*On the TV screen a third grader whacks Lil' Hardbody across the back of the head with one of the chairs. Several children begin crying as the malevolent child pounds him into submission*

"See? Whenever I'm about to win, some punk attacks me from behind. Sure, I won musical chairs via disqualification, but I gotta tell you, that victory has always been tainted. I mean, only I would get busted open during Musical Chairs."

"Take a look at this. A few hours later, I'm recovered and ready for the biggest moment of the day: blowing out my eight candles. The one time of year where I'm the star, where the focus is on me, and I was going to make the best out of it. Did things turn out for the best? What do you think?"

*Hardbody sits at the table as the cake is set down before him. His mother lights the candles, and the rest of the kids sing a merry "Happy Birthday" as Hardbody gets ready to blow out the candles. The song is finished, and he huffs, puffs...and a rat-tailed boy blows out Hardbody's candles and, while Harris sits in shock, the punk grabs the candles and licks the frosting off of them! Several children laugh as Lil' Hardbody convulses under his rhinestoned hat.*

"THAT GODDAMED PUNK ADAM GAMBLE BLEW OUT MY CANDLES AND LICKED THE FROSTING! THAT'S THE BEST PART! NOBODY, AND HARDBODY MEANS NOBODY, DOES THAT!"

*The real-life Hardbody goes ballistic, and throws the couch at the TV. He then lights the couch on fire. He uses a fire extinguisher to put out the fire, only to set fire to it again. Frothing at the mouth, he finally turns to face the camera; his eyes are swollen, bandages cover his face, and his nose is a bit discolored. The audience is stunned at this outbreak, and remains silent as Hardbody begins speaking with a quiet rage.*

"Day in and day out, I'm abused, cheated, backstabbed, blindsided, robbed, and attacked for no other reason than I'm the absolute best at everything I do. That son of a bitch Adam Gamble was the first to test me; let's just say I made sure he paid for messing with the #1 FACE AT MCKINLEY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Those who get in my way pay."

"Microplay, your time will come. You can't beat me, and you never will. It's a simple matter of me getting you alone, and belt or no belt, I'll finally show you what a Microbitch you are. But not today. Oh, no. Not today."

"Ax-Man, Chris Cole. Together, you've cheated and robbed me as only two men with deathwishes could. Blows to the knee to make me tap out? You've done it. Surprise attacks in a no DQ match? Fits you to a "T". I've had enough; no more Mr. Nice Hardbody."

"Soon, my friend, I'm going to ruin your birthday party. I'm playing "Pin the tail in your eye." I'll make sure the Neopolitan Ice Cream only has strawberry left in it. I'LL STEAL THE MONEY FROM YOUR BIRTHDAY CARDS! Boys, it's time to get even, Hardbody style."

"Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
You're de-ad, dear Ax-Man
I Can't Wait To Kill You."

[mooseheadjack]

Bit of a timewarp Vignette, as Endo has been without decent net access while on break.

*we cut back to a few weeks ago, the morning after Endo lost to Mark Vander via DQ. We see a sleeping Endo. His alarm sounds*
E: ugh... *looks at clock* Whatthe.... it's 8:30 already? I'm gonna be late! *looks out the small window of his apartment next to the tracks* Oh, it's only 8:30 AM. Man, I'm so dumb. *as he goes to make breakfast, he hears the radio say it's the 22nd of December*

"... the 22nd.... my match with Vander was yesterday, curses! I'll call him and see if he's up for a re-do... let's see... vander.... jane.... leroy... ah, mark."

*ring ring*
M: Hello?
E: Hey Mark, it's Endo, listen...
M: WHAT THE FRICK DO YOU WANT FROM MY YOU PSYCHOTIC LUNATIC!!
E: Huh? Dude, I know I missed the match, but don't you think calling me...
M: MISSED THE MATCH? You put me in the hospital!
E: I did?
M: Yes, don't you remember, you clawed me and blood was everywhere and everything and then I woke up in the hospital.
E: *looks in the mirror* ... Oh... that does explain the blood. So I guess I didn't win the Mark Vander challenge?
M: .... no....
E: Dangit. Well, sorry about all that Mark. Later *click*

E: This is really weird... guiess I gotta go find some way to make more money.

*Skip to New Years Eve, after getting DQ'd again, this time against Chris Cole, Endo is awakened with his alarm.*

E: Ugh... whatthe.... oh, this is my place, right. But how'd I get here? I was wrestling cole, now I'm in my bed. How the frick did I get to my bed from the ring.... Here we go again... *grabs his well used Wrestler's Picture Phone Book* Cole... Cole... aha! Chris Cole.
*ring ring*
CC: Hello?
E: Hey Chris, it's Endo
CC: Look man, you're in trouble. Call the Ref. #5.
E: Um... OK. Thanks. *click. Looks up ref #5 and dials*
*ring ring*
R5: Hello?
E: Hey R5? It's Endo... umm... what's up?
R5: You made me bleed last night. Why'd you do it?
E: Huh? What? *looks at his hands, sees the blood* Oh, dang. Sorry... *click*

E: OK, this is weird, why don't I remember any of my crazy blood lusting rages? Ugh... *a note slides under the door*. Huh? Let's see,
Endo,
Your beatings against Vander and Chris Cole have impressed the Ministry. At Midweek Mayhem, you will face Moosehead Jack. If you prove yourself able to withstand his beating, you will have powerful new allies.

E: Oooh, I bet I can ask them for money and then I can stop having to live off of rats and fatback. Sweet!