OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Pennsylvania
MATTE vs. JOHNNY ICEPICK Johnny Icepick is out first, he is a local worker from the Philadelphia Hardcore All-Star Wrestling Network, the people know who he is, and they don’t like him. He revels in the boos as he steps into the ring and waits for his opponent. “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” plays and OOWF newcomer Matte makes his way to the ring, looking either bored, confused, or both. The fans give him a nice ovation as he slides into the ring. Before he can get to his feet Icepick attacks him with boots to the back of the head. Johnny pulls him to his feet and whips him to the ropes and elevates him with a big back body drop. Icepick pulls him up and tries another whip, but Matte reverses it and sends Icepick to the ropes, following him the whole way. When Icepick rebounds, Matte takes him over the top rope with a clothesline sending them both to the floor. Icepick gets to his feet first and waits for Matte to get up, when he does, Icepick charges and Matte takes him down with a drop toe hold that sends Icepick face first into the stairs. Icepick’s head bounces off the stairs, and he writhes on the floor in pain. Matte pulls Icepick to his feet and backs him against the ring post, then gets a running start and hits a high knee to Icepick’s chest. Icepick falls to the floor gasping for breath, Matte rolls him into the ring and follows, but instead of covering, he heads to the top rope and leaps, trying for an elbow, but Icepick gets his foot up, catching Matte right under the chin. Both men are down, but Icepick is on his knees first. He makes the motion for the Asiatic Spike (the icepick, naturally) and waits for Matte to get to his feet. When he does, Icepick charges, but Matte catches him, trapping his arms and repeatedly slamming him in the face with head buts. Icepick staggers, and Matte grabs him again and takes him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex and covers, but Icepick is out at two. Matte grabs Icepick and whips him into the corner, then bounds off the ropes and catches him with a bulldog as he staggers out of the corner. Another cover gets another two count, and Matte pulls Icepick up and backs him into the corner, then sets him on the second rope. Matte climbs up after him, and almost falls when Icepick lands a couple of shots to the gut. Matte stops him with an elbow to the bridge of the nose, then leaps and takes him off the ropes with a FRANKENSTEINER! Icepick hits the mat hard, but bounces right back to his feet. Matte grabs him and starts to whip him to the ropes, then pulls him back and catches him with a kick to the mid-section, then PLANTS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Icepick is DONE! Matte rolls him over, and lays across him for the one, two, three!
WINNER in 5:13 - Matte
CONCRTE TG vs. DAMON WRATHGet ready for some mind meltingly spine tingly face smashingly OOWF action as Concrete Takaken Gryfon faces off against Damon Wrath in a rematch from a couple weeks ago. If you'll recall, Damon Wrath scored a count out victory after smashing Crete in the head with a geography textbook. Crete is looking to even the score today. Your referee today is the black one. He signals for the bell and this one is on.
The traditional lockup goes nowhere until Wrath gets impatient and knees Crete in the gut a couple of times. Hard Irish whip into the corner, and Wrath follows that up with a running knee that doubles over Crete. From behind Crete, Wrath charges for the “spear to the back of the knees” move. He looks for the “Wrath X-Face”, but Crete is able to struggle up and get out of it with an arm drag. Wrath charges again and gets hit with another. Crete is up, continuing to hold the arm. And now Crete locks on the “Scaffold”! In desperation, Wrath simply falls backwards, and both men collide awkwardly to the mat.
Both men stumble to their feet. Wrath charges in with some jabs. Another Irish whip to the corner, and Wrath goes for a running elbow which misses its target, and he slumps back first into the corner. Crete grabs him, some forearms and then Wrath is placed on the top rope. Crete is looking for a superplex, but Wrath pushes him off. No way Wrath is going for a top rope maneuver, and he starts to climb down. But Crete is up with a springboard dropkick out of nowhere! Wrath collapses face first onto the mat. And Crete runs up the ropes with a moonsault! He lands square on Wrath’s back. Wrath grunts in pain, and Crete rolls him over and goes for the pin. One, two, no!
Concrete helps Wrath to his feet, but Wrath goes berserk with martial arts strikes, bringing Crete to his knees. Wrath hits a nasty looking buzz saw kick, but doesn’t stop there, and he goes to work with some mounted punches. After a couple solid shots, Crete manages to block one and nails Wrath with a forearm. Another forearm as Wrath is forced to back off. Crete with an Irish Whip and grabs a sleeper on the rebound. He’s looking for the “Cement Mixer”, but Wrath won’t go and hits a couple of elbows to break up the sleeper. A vicious elbow to the jaw stuns Crete. Wrath pulls him down and knees him in the face for good measure, and Crete is bleeding from the mouth. Wrath looking to finish him off with the “Lights Out!”, but Crete somehow has the awareness to duck and Wrath is left wide open for an Impaler DDT! Both men are down as the black referee starts the count.
Both men are up around the seventh second, and Wrath charges. Drop toe hold from Crete sends Wrath into the second rope. Crete hits an impressive looking “C-T-G”! He lands on the apron as Wrath stumbles away. Wrath regains his composure and gets a look of intense fury on his face. He charges and Crete grabs him with an OVER THE TOP ROPE HIPTOSS that sends Wrath flying into the barricade! Wrath is almost certainly out cold. The referee begins the count as Crete plays to the crowd. 8 seconds elapse before Wrath can even get up. Realizing what’s about to happen, though, he charges for the ring but is met with a baseball slide from Crete! The referee finishes the count, and this one is over. What a spot, er, match.
WINNER in 14:14 by Count out – Concrete TG
REVENGE OF THE NERDS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOSPhantos & Lucios are introduced first and are obviously NOT happy to be in this matchup. Larson & Nayr come down next and after the usually preening, we are underway. Larson locks up with Lucios first. Bryce gets in some small offense before taking Lucios to the mat with a head scissor. A nice dropkick and then a back handspring turns into a twisting splash. Larson covers, but gets not even a 1 count before Lucios powers up. Larson tags in Nayr, and holds Lucios in an arm bar while Nayr climbs up. Phantos attempt at a save draws Junior Hale away from the action, and Nayr drops a Moonsault Elbow onto Lucios back. Nayr follows up with a beautiful flying lariat as Lucios got to his feet. Again, Phantos rushes in and Hale ushers him out. Larson takes advantage of the delay to bulldog Lucios while Nayr runs the ropes and lands a springboard leg drop. Nayr covers as Hale turns around and gets 1…2… and nearly 3, but Lucios is up in time. Larson tags back in and slingshots over the ropes and connects with a forearm. Lucios staggers back, and gets Larson nails him with a dropkick. Larson in control now and he hits a wheelbarrow face buster on Lucios. Larson covers for 1…2… and would have gotten the 3 is Phantos hadn’t made the save. Hale chases Phantos out again. Nayr comes in, does the ‘slap hands in the air to simulate a tag’ thing and he and Larson each grab a leg of Lucios, turn him over and lock him in a Double Half Crab. Hale turns around and ushers Larson out of the ring. Phantos drops off the apron and runs around the ring, knocking Larson off the apron. Phantos grabs one of Larson’s 9 Indy belts he carries to the ring and BLASTS him with it in the face! Phantos climbs in the ring, shoves Hale aside and catches Nayr from behind with the same belt. Hale has no choice but to call for the bell.
WINNERS in 8:13, via Disqualification; Bryce Larson & Nayr!
<After the announcement, Lucios grabs the mic and speaks!>
NO! This is NOT how this is going down! We are the MEASURING STICK for tag teams, not just in the OOWF, but in the WORLD! We are not done sending you punks a message. Now, I am not asking, I am DEMANDING that you two get back here, and we have another match. We are not done with you yet, not by a long shot<Larson and Nayr look at one another and shrug, then sprint back to the ring and slide under the bottom rope>
REVENGE OF THE NERDS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS IIP&L shove around Larson and Nayr at the bell until the little guys rush back and give it back to them and we have a pier sixer to start things out. The fracas ends up with Larson and Phantos on the floor, and when Lucios reverses an Irish whip, Nayr simply springboards off the top rope onto Phantos on the floor. Lucios follows out, but Larson cuts him off with a roll the dice on the floor. BL and Nayr back in and it's gonna be a quick count out win, but P&L crawl back in at 8. Things settle down now, with Nayr and Phantos starting out, and Phantos overpowers Nayr. To the corner and will we get a clean break...? We will NOT, as Phantos sucker punches him. Phantos stomps a mud hole, but fails to walk it dry, as Nayr trips him up and gets an Oklahoma roll for a two count. Phantos wants a tiltawhirl, but gets a head scissors takedown instead. Tag to Larson who gets a quick sunset flip for two. Dropkick sends Lucios off the apron, but Phantos rolls up Larson for a quick two himself. Both guys pop up, and its hip toss, backdrop, and a deep arm drag sends Phantos scurrying to the floor and P&L regroup. They reset, and Lucios tags in and the big guy immediately takes charge, pounding Larson down, tossing him into the corner and daring him to tag in Nayr. But Nayr tags in freely and takes it right to Lucios, making a little headway before eating a big boot. Lucios with an elbow and shoulder thrusts in the corner, and a short arm clothesline out of there puts Nayr on dream street. Big overhead belly to belly throw and Phantos is back in. P&L trade out, working over Nayr in their corner, effectively cutting the ring in half, just as it's drawn up. This goes on for a few minutes, until the German suplex/super kick combo is broken up by Larson, who's seen enough. The diversion flusters Phantos just enough for Nayr to drill him with an enziguri out of nowhere, which Phantos sells like he's been shot. Race for a tag, but Lucios hops in early and drags Nayr back. That allows Phantos to hook the ankle and make his tag, but Larson's stranded on the apron. But Lucios takes his time dragging Nayr to his feet, and Nayr crawls between Lucios' legs and MAKES THE TAG! Larson's in a house of fire, spearing Lucios down and pummeling with lefts and rights. Phantos hops in and gets hotshotted to the top rope. Soccer kick puts Lucios on the floor, and a TKO puts Phantos down. Nayr with a corkscrew moonsault to Lucios on the floor which pops the crowd. Larson with a rocker dropper on Phantos, but he's not the legal man. Nayr gets Lucios back in, and Larson stalks him for the DRAGON'S LAIR~! But as Larson wrenches back on the hold, Phantos kicks him right in the head! The ref tries to get Phantos out, who's having none of it, but before Phantos can do anything else, Nayr flies in from the top, lands on Phantos' shoulders, spins and plants him with the DRIVER OF A THOUSAND TRUTHS~! Now the ref sends Nayr out, but Lucios is stirring and gets to his feet and wants the DEATHGRIP~! But Larson fights it off and fights to his feet, Lucios pushes him to the ropes and rolls him up. But Nayr pops him with a shining wizard, and Larson rolls thru and gets the THREE COUNT!! We have an upset!
WINNERS in 15:15: BRYCE LARSON & NAYR
This time, Larson and Nayr slip out of the ring and hop into the crowd where they celebrate with the fans. Inside the ring, Phantos and Lucios have seizures of rage. Even the referee bails for fear of his life.
CHRIS COLE vs. TYTANDavis Hightower is YOUR Referee!
The two big bruisers circle each other slowly, Cole's expression serious and Tytan one of stone. The two lock up in the center of the ring and push back and forth, trying to gain some ground early, but the two end up breaking the hold and staring each other down. The two lock up again, this time Tytan getting the upper hand and SHOVING Cole to the mat. Cole is on his feet in an instant and charges, the two locking up once more. Cole actually backs Tytan up a step or two, then Tytan powers Cole into a corner. Hightower counts off Tytan, who breaks at three but adds a forearm to Cole for good measure. Hightower admonishes Tytan, who is ignoring the tirade as he demands Cole to attack again. Cole charges and eats a monster clothesline. Tytan stomps Cole and stands on his throat, drawing another count from Hightower. Tytan drops down for a cover and gets a two count. Tytan gathers Cole off the mat and slams him again. Cover gets another two count. Tytan mounts Cole and pounds away a bit before grabbing a free arm and hauling Cole off the mat. Tytan with the armwringer, chaining smoothly to a hammerlock. Cole slaps at his shoulder incessantly before managing to hook a rope and force Tytan to break the hold. Tytan turns to Hightower as Cole gets his bearings (and shakes out the bad arm). Tytan turns back in Cole just in time to eat a clothesline - but Tytan doesn't budge. Cole hits the ropes and tries again- Tytan is knocked back a step. Tytan grabs Cole and whips him into the corner- hard - and charges in to stun him. He then hauls Cole up to sit on the top turnbuckle as setup for the ULTIMO ENDING. When he turns to the crowd, a flash of red catches his eye - is that FIREWOMAN sitting in the front row waving a "HUSS" sign? Tytan climbs out of the ring and marches over to her. She smiles sweetly and reminds him of Rick's edict (like anyone listens). Hightower starts the ten count. Fire offers Tytan the sign to vent on, and Tytan rips it to shreds. Fire then stands and politely leaves her seat. Meanwhile, Hightower is still counting. Tytan turns back to the ring at about six and gets a baseball slide to the chest! Tytan staggers into the barricades, and Cole slides the rest of the way out. Tytan starts brawling with Cole, but Cole has his second wind and bullrushes Tytan into the aprons! Hightower restarted the count, but he's at 6 again. Cole rolls Tytan into the ring and climbs after him. Tytan is dazed from the sudden comeback and flails as he feels his legs being grabbed! Cole is trying to get the Raised Texas Cloverleaf in place, but Tytan's not out of this yet! He tries to power out, but freezes when he sees Fire sitting at the Gaelic announce table. She waves again, and Tytan's face flushes purple with anger! He starts to struggle again, but Cole brings the knee down on Tytan's neck! The cloverleaf is in place! Tytan screams in anger and pounds the mat in frustration. Hightower takes that as tapping out and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 9:34 "The Main Event" Chris Cole
Fire walks back up the ramp while Cole keeps the hold in place. Hightower has to get more refs to get Cole to break the submission hold, and once he does Tytan tries to get up to beat Cole down.
POE vs. TYSON KINCAIDThis should be quite an interesting match as we’ve got two men trying to re-establish their position in the singles divisions. And there is the added element that both men have been tied to Moosehead Jack in recent weeks. Poe’s alignment with Moose has been pretty obvious, but the relationship between Tyson and Moose is a bit different. We’ll see if any of that comes into play tonight. Let’s get to the ring for our introductions. “Idle Hands” by the Gutter Twins begins to play; Introducing first from the island of Jamaica, weighing in at 227 pounds, it is “The Riot Act” Tyson Kincaid. TK makes his way out from the back to quite a bit of boos from this crowd after his recent attacks on everyone’s hero, Concrete Gryfon. Kincaid ignores the crowd and slowly makes his way down to the ring before sliding under the bottom rope and crawling to the corner to await his opponent. AFI’s hit “Miseria Cantare” begins to play and our ring announcer introduces our next wrestler. Hailing from Cairo, Egypt, weighing in at 298 pounds, standing 7 feet tall and escorted by Selena is the man called Poe. Poe forgoes his normal rising entrance and instead steps out from the back with Selena. Poe is getting more of a mixed reaction from the crowd based on them approving of his issues with Run DEA but opposed to what he’s done to IHOP. Poe and Selena get to ringside and Poe hands his long black leather duster to Selena as she takes a seat at ringside far away from the ring.
Poe steps into the ring and glares at the still seated Tyson Kincaid. Sterling Glaw calls them to the center of the ring and Tyson slowly makes his way over. Glaw goes over the rules one more time and sends both back to their corners before calling for the bell. Once the bell rings Tyson charges at Poe unexpectedly and starts slugging away with overhand forearms. Poe staggers back into the corner, but then he picks Tyson up and switches position before firing away with rights and lefts of his own. TK blocks a few shots before dropping down and sliding between Poe’s legs and hitting him with a quick dropkick to the back. Poe drops to his knees with his throat resting on the second turnbuckle. Kincaid tries to place his leg across his neck to choke Poe but Poe shrugs back hard and Tyson flies across the ring. Poe gets to his feet and turns around to catch TK coming in and he slams him hard to the mat with a STO.
Poe sneers in disgust and just starts working over Kincaid. He starts pounding away with clubbing forearms to the back of Tyson each time he gets closer to getting back to his feet, Poe is there with another clubbing blow. Kincaid gets up to a kneeling position as Poe patiently waits…SHINING WIZARD connects. Tyson falls back to the mat and starts to roll to the outside when Poe picks him up in a dead lift and tosses him back into the corner. Poe measures TK and slams an elbow right into the jaw. And then a second. And a third. Tyson is on dream street and he staggers out of the corner right into a big PRESS SLAM from Poe. Tyson is down and Poe makes a lazy cover that only gets a two count.
Poe drags Tyson up by his long hair as TK tries to fight back. He hits a few glancing blows to the midsection that loosens Poe’s grip and he gives Kincaid enough room to run off and bounce off the ropes. Poe goes for a clothesline, but Kincaid ducks under and bounces off the other ropes. Poe goes for a back elbow that Tyson dodges and again he bounces off the ropes and this time he catches Poe coming off with a beautiful leg lariat. Tyson feels the tide shifting and he hits a dropkick as soon as Poe is back to his feet. Poe staggers back into the corner and Tyson follows him in and hops up onto the second turnbuckle and starts raining punches down. The crowd, like good little sheep, begins to count along and once Tyson hears them he stops right at the count of 7 and hops down. He turns to face the crowd and flips them the double bird…BIG MISTAKE.
As soon as TK turns around his head is almost taken clean off by a Poe YAKUZA KICK. Tyson does a full 360 spin in mid-air before he crashes hard to the mat. Poe stalks him and once TK is back to a standing position Poe traps his arms like a straightjacket…AZTEC SUPLEX. Poe holds on and Kincaid’s shoulders are down…
1…
2…
And Kincaid rolls his left shoulder. Poe slams the mat, but doesn’t delay in picking TK up. He picks him up for a vertical suplex but Tyson floats over and connects with a kick to Poe’s midsection. He quickly follows it up a TIGER BOMB…Holy shit, that’s a nice feat of strength from Kincaid to get the big man up. Unfortunately for Tyson, Poe had enough ring awareness to roll towards the ropes and Kincaid can’t make a cover. He stays on the attack and drags Poe up and hits a quick snap suplex. He positions Poe near the corner…SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT connects. He hooks a leg…
1…
2…
Poe kicks out. Tyson stays on the attack though and he starts kicking away at Poe. This seems like a bad strategy as he’s letting the anger get the best of him and the blows don’t have Kincaid’s full concentration it seems and it lets Poe start fighting them off. Tyson throws one too many kicks and Poe catches it. Poe grabs Kincaid around the head…HEAD-AND-LEG EXLPODER SUPLEX and Tyson landed on his neck. He’s got to be in serious trouble now.
Poe drags him to his feet and whips him to the ropes, Kincaid bounces off…BLACK HOLE SLAM. Poe gets down to make another cover…One, Two, Th…Kincaid barely gets his shoulder off the mat. Poe’s having a tough time putting Kincaid down for three. He drags TK back to his feet once again and whips him into the corner and he follows in with a hard clothesline. He picks Tyson up and places him on the top turnbuckle…it looks like Poe is attempting to go for a muscle buster, but TK fights him off. Kincaid wraps his legs around Poe’s head and starts slamming it into the top turnbuckle. Poe is a little woozy as he staggers back to the center of the ring. Kincaid gets to his feet on the top turnbuckle…MISSILE DROPKICK connects and Poe crashes backward into the opposite corner.
Tyson quickly kips up to his feet and heads to the corner and tries to drag Poe to his feet, but it’s taking him a while as Poe is pretty out of it. He finally gets Poe to a standing position and he’s trying to get him onto his shoulders for the OCD-DT. Poe is struggling but Kincaid gets him up. He spins him, but slithers out at the very last second and winds up standing behind TK. He pushes Kincaid towards the corner and then he quickly changes direction and rolls back and completes the roll with a hold of Tyson…CHAOS THEORY…Poe makes the cover…
1…
2…
2.5 before Tyson grabs a hold of the bottom rope. Poe doesn’t hold back though as he drags Tyson to his feet. Tyson is trying to fight back and punches away at Poe, but he’s been weakened and Poe shrugs them off before Poe lifts TK straight in the air…BRAINBUSTAAAA. Tyson is down and Poe is stalking him now. He’s making sure to stay out of Tyson’s sight line as he drags himself up to his feet by the ropes. Poe gets into position behind Kincaid…ASP DEATHLOCK is locked in and Kincaid is in serious trouble. He’s struggling to get free and flailing away. He tries to make it to the ropes but Poe locks the hold in even more. Kincaid is close to fading and he drops down to a knee and now Poe has even more leverage.
Kincaid drops to his other knee…and he’s fading. Glaw gets in there to check to make sure it’s not a choke. He doesn’t see anything wrong as Kincaid falls all the way down to the mat. Glaw gets right down there and he checks on Tyson…he lifts the arm…it falls dead.
ONE…
Glaw checks the hold again before lifting the arm…it falls limp again.
TWO…
Glaw makes another check to make sure it isn’t a choke. He lifts Tyson’s arm and it once again falls to the mat.
THREE!
Glaw calls for the bell as this match is over. Tyson Kincaid as been choked out and Poe quickly lets go of the hold as he doesn’t want to do any extra damage.
Your winner in 17:12…POE!!!
IHOP vs. STANK, SPIN HANSEN & FF CAPSLOCK – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title MatchDrink and Destroy enter the arena first, to a massive ovation. They make their way to the ring, with FF Capslock and Spin Hansen obviously pacing themselves to allow Stank to keep up. Once they reach the ring, the lights dim and the Chimpions, accompanied by the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, step onto the stage. The Chimpions pause for a moment to bask in the crowd’s mixed reaction, and then head to the ring.
Once in the ring, Chimpions and challengers go nose-to-nose and trash talk ensues. After a few moments Stank & Skurge and SYB & Spin trail off, as the exchange between FFC and The Amnesiac grows increasingly vehement. In a burst of rage FFC calls The Amnesiac an “Idea Stealing Bastard”, and The Amnesiac explodes, bowling him over. The other combatants exchange a four-way shrug and head to their corners as referee Davis Hightower calls for the bell.
FFC and The Amnesiac roll around the ring with The Amnesiac getting the upper hand until FFC remembers his size advantage and puts an end to it. FFC slams The Amnesiac into the corner and rocks him with punches, then whips him across the ring and squashes him with an avalanche. The Amnesiac stumbles out of the corner and FFC gorilla presses him, but The Amnesiac struggles and manages to reverse it into a crucifix and gets a one-count. Both men roll to their feet and The Amnesiac ducks a clothesline attempt, hitting a hard kick to the midsection and coming off the ropes with a bulldog. He covers, but FFC kicks out at two. The Amnesiac locks on a reverse chin lock, but FFC quickly elbows out. FFC lunges to his feet and snaps off a power slam, then drags The Amnesiac to the D&D corner and tags in Spin.
Spin stomps The Amnesiac to the mat, then drags him to his feet in center ring. He staggers The Amnesiac with a European uppercut, then comes off the ropes with a clothesline. He hits the opposite ropes, and drops a leg across his throat. He covers, but SYB comes off the top rope with a splash to break it up. SYB gets in a hard kick to Spin’s head before darting back out of the ring. Spin gets to his feet, but The Amnesiac is there first and catches him with a shining wizard before diving to his corner to tag Skurge.
Skurge goes on the attack and beats Spin to the mat, then pulls him up and plants him with a vertical suplex. He pulls Spin up as SYB sneaks into the ring, and they hit the Smokehouse Combo. SYB dives out of the ring as Skurge covers, but Stank lumbers in and drops an elbow to break the count. Stank stays on the mat and rolls to the outside as Skurge gets to his feet. Skurge grabs Spin, but gets doubled over by a punch to the midsection. Spin lurches to his feet and tries an Irish whip, but Skurge blocks it and sends Spin into the IHOP corner and tags SYB.
SYB gets in some chops and forearms, then drags Spin out of the corner. He doubles him over with a kick and comes off the ropes with a bulldog. SYB covers, and then rolls out of the way as FFC tries to break it up with a splash. FFC squashes Spin, then rolls to his feet and gets taken over the ropes to the floor by a tandem clothesline from Skurge and The Amnesiac. SYB falls on Spin for the pin again, and gets a two-count before Stank lifts him bodily out of the cover and hurls him into the corner. Stank is slow to follow up, however, and SYB hits the Jersey Turnpike as he approaches and darts around him, only to run straight into a clothesline from Spin. As Hightower directs Stank out of the ring, Spin sends SYB to the ropes and plants him with a spine buster. He covers, and gets 2.75 before The Amnesiac breaks the pin.
Outside the ring, Skurge and FFC continue to trade blows. FFC gains the advantage and sends Skurge hard into the railing. FFC starts back into the ring, but Skurge hooks his ankle and drags him back out. FFC takes a wild swing but Skurge ducks. Meanwhile, Spin hurls SYB to the ropes, and SYB uses the momentum to vault over them and hit a cross body on FFC. FFC staggers, but doesn’t go down, so Skurge sweeps his legs from behind, sending him to the floor. FFC throws SYB off and gets to his feet as Stank ambles over to help. D&D original put the boots to SYB, and FFC tosses him into the timekeeper’s table. They grab Skurge, and Stank assists FFC in power bombing him into the floor. As FFC stomps on Skurge, Stank grabs SYB, who slams him in the face with a Chimpionship belt. Stank staggers, and a second shot takes him down. FFC sees the second shot and goes after SYB, but Skurge trips him up from behind. This Hightower sees, and turns his attention to ringside. SYB takes advantage and tosses the Chimpionship to The Amnesiac. Before he can swing, Spin kicks him in the midsection and grabs the belt. As they struggle over it, Hightower tries to separate Skurge and FFC on the outside. He sees Stank laid out on the floor and checks on him, then turns and sees Spin and The Amnesiac struggling with the belt. Shaking his head, Hightower calls for the bell.
Double Disqualification in 18:42. IHOP retain the Chimpionships.
After the match: The Amnesiac snatches the Chimpionship from Spin and bails out of the ring. SYB grabs the other belts and Skurge extricates himself from FFC. IHOP hold their titles high and back up the ramp as Spin and FFC check on Stank.
ALEXANDER DARLING vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchThe sound of bagpipes hits the PAs and the crowd responds accordingly, slam dancing to "Rebels Of the Sacred Heart." Seamus appears on the top of the ramp, greeted by cheers and cries of "faugh a ballaugh" and the occasional "tiochfaidh ár lá" from a few smarks. Seamus appears to be a good mood as he makes his entrance. Just as he hits the apron, the lights start, and the strobes begin for "Prelude 12/21." Alexander Darling appears on the ramp, accompanied as always by the ravishing Alexis Darling. Alexander stops....poses specifically to direct attention to the Onslaught Championship belt.....soaks up the boos....and then is interrupted by Seamus McNasty who has a mic! The music cuts off and the lights come back on as Seamus hits about the tenth word.
SM: Alright, enough of that. No disrespect intended to you, Ms. Darling, but really, we've all seen the pose. Did you come to defend that belt or just do some runway work, Xander?
Alexis smiles nicely at Seamus, almost amused. Alexander is annoyed by both Seamus's interruption, and Alexis's amusement, as he shoots her a look. He rips the belt off his waist and hands it to Alexis, who is trying (and failing) to stifle a laugh. He storms down the ramp to a mixture of boos (for him) and cheers (for Seamus). He gets in the ring, does some more douchey poses, and then comes to the center to wait for the bell. The big 20 minute clock appears on the OOWF-tron.
The bell rings, and Seamus goes in for the lock up, but Darling ducks it, and comes around behind him, gets his arm hooked, and gets Seamus into a half Nelson, right off the bat. Darling is not interested in messing around, especially after his ring entrance was interrupted. He tries to step in front of McNasty for a take down, but McNasty instead counters by reaching up and pulling Darling down to his knee for a Facebreaker Knee Smash. Darling staggers backwards, grabbing his most likely surgically-reconstructed nose, but the smash wasn't enough to cause any damage. Alexis yells strategy from the corner, and Darling nods and gets back into the fray. We go for a lock up again, and this time Darling doesn't dodge it. A more traditional start now, as Seamus shifts and gets Darling into a side headlock. He pushes Darling so he bounces off the ropes and back, into a Clothesline. Darling goes down and Seamus puts the boots to him. Seamus picks Darling up, winks at Alexis, and hits a Vertical suplex. He rolls over and pins Darling. Darling kicks out. Seamus gets up, smiling, and grabs Darling's arm, tossing him into the ropes again with an Irish whip for the Irish Car Bomb, but before he can get the cross face portion locked in, Darling wriggles free and stands up, grabbing Seamus's leg to apply his Death by Darling. Seamus is having none of that though and kicks Darling back into the ropes. Seamus gets up, but Darling comes from behind with a Bulldog. He immediately goes back to the leg, and this time does get the Death by Darling locked in, but thanks to the bulldog, they're too close to the ropes, so Seamus is able to reach up and touch the ropes. Darling drops the hold almost immediately when the count begins, and the ref signals that this is Seamus's first rope break.
As Seamus recovers, Darling runs over to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle. Seamus shakes the cobwebs, off and follows him over. Darling turns around just in time for Seamus to have made up the distance. Seamus gets Darling on his shoulders and falls backwards, faceplanting Darling. He's really trying to rebreak that nose. He rolls Darling over for another pin, but Darling kicks out again. Each man rolls to two different sides of the ring to pull themselves up as the referee starts the count. Both men are up at six, and turn towards the center of the ring. They get to the center and lock up, but Darling again ducks, this time countering with a drop toe hold, that knocks Seamus down. He grabs Seamus by the hair and pulls him up and then they go back with a Russian leg sweep. Seamus is seeing stars again as Darling pulls him up, grabs and arm and whips him into the ropes. Seamus bounces back, and into Darling who knees Seamus in the stomach. Seamus doubles over, and Darling reaches across, and Pendulum Backbreaker. Darling clearly working the back, as he rolls Seamus over and tries to once again get the Death by Darling. He has it locked it pretty well, and checks the clock. He's got seven minutes left, and although he's screaming in pain, Seamus is showing no signs of tapping. Darling drops the hold and stomps hard on McNasty's back twice before going up top again. This time he makes and Moonsault right onto McNasty, and gets him over for a pin. One, two, NO the Irishman kicks out. Darling pulls him up and tries to set up a Brainbuster, but Seamus digs deep, and flips Darling around to get him into a Sleeper hold. He's really cranking down on it. Darling is flailing his arms around trying to counter, but it's not working. Darling starts pushing Seamus back towards the ropes, but it's no easy task as Seamus digs in, using his size to his advantage. Alexis jumps up on the apron, calling encouragement to her brother, which has some affect as Darling manages to push Seamus back one step.....then two.....Seamus digs in more and steps one step forward away from the ring, but then with a groan, Darling manages to find enough in him to make one more giant shove, and pushes Seamus into the ropes...and Seamus's elbow right into Alexis's head! The referee steps in for the rope break, and Seamus, who noticed that he hit something in addition to the ropes, turns and sees Lexie on the floor, holding the side of her head. Seamus is concerned, but not for long, as Alexander takes advantage of the situation and DARLING ROLL-UP. The ref makes the count one-two-three. WINNER: Alexander Darling
FEAR US vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchThe Chickenshit Heels come out first, accompanied by…….Scott Boras? What the hell? They step between the ropes and wait in the corner, huddled together clearly discussing……something. The new OOWF World Tag Team champions Fear Us come out and stand at the top of the ramp and raise their titles high above their heads. The crowd goes crazy for the champs, and they drape the titles over their shoulders and head to the ring. Jack and LD step between the ropes and Boras walks to the middle of the ring with his arms out to prevent violence and hands Williams and Jack leather bound books. He then takes the mic as LD and Jack flip through the pages.
Gentlemen, as you are no doubt aware, my name is Scott Boras, and I am the representation for Mr. Adrenaline and Mr. Adjuster. Now, what you have before you is the book on my clients. As you can see, their accomplishments are more than worthy of being the highest paid, and most promoted team in the OOWF. Now, as I understand it, the OOWF World tag team titles are the ultimate sign of prestige in this company. So, what I propose to you, is to give the titles to Mr. Adrenaline and Mr. Adjuster. Once they have set the bar, I would be happy to represent you so that you can get your fair shake.[/b]
<Boras offers his business cards, Jack and Williams look at one another and kind of nod, then drop the books, and take the cards. Boras turns back to The Chickenshit Heels and smiles, he turns back to Fear Us, and now they are grinning. Boras looks a little uncomfortable, as well he should, and Fear Us grab him and hit the CALL OF THE WILD! Scott Boras is DEAD! And the crowd cheers!>
Adrenaline and AA charge out of the corner and try to attack, but Jack and Williams duck the attack and send them to the ropes. Jack catches Adrenaline with a big boot to the face that sends him out of the ring. Williams grabs AA and whips him toward Jack and he picks up one of the leather books and BLASTS AA in the head with it, sending him out of the ring as well. Fear Us stands in the middle of the ring, and they destroy the books that Boras gave them, much to the delight of the crowd.
Adrenaline slides back into the ring and attacks Williams, catching him with a forearm to the side of the head. Johnny tries a whip to the ropes, but LD reverses it and catches Johnny cold in his tracks, tags in Jack, then bounds off the ropes and takes Johnny to the mat with a swinging neck breaker. Jack comes off the second rope with a knee drop, stunning Adrenaline. Jack covers, but AA comes in and breaks it up before the referee can count three. Jack quickly gets to his feet and catches AA with a drop kick from behind that sends him out of the ring! Jack keeps his attention on AA a moment too long and Johnny nails him from behind with a low blow.
Adrenaline hammers Jack on the mat, keeping him down while motioning to AA on the outside. Johnny turns and spits at Williams, which brings him into the ring. The referee moves to cut Williams off, and AA slides into the ring with a chair. Johnny pulls Jack to his feet and holds him while AA lines him up for the chair shot. Well, predictably, Jack breaks free and AA KILLS Johnny with the chair. Johnny falls to the mat, out cold, Jack grabs AA and throws him over the top rope, then kicks the chair out of the ring just as AA gets to his knees, the chair catches AA in the face, and he falls to the floor. Jack tags LD into the ring and he climbs to the second rope, and they hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER on Adrenaline! Johnny is DEAD! LD rolls him over anyway and locks him in the cross face, the referee doesn’t even wait for the tap out, he just calls for the bell and ends the slaughter.
WINNERS in 10:11 and Still OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Fear Us
FIREWOMAN vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match“Scarecrow” blares through the speakers and Moosehead Jack slowly makes his way to the ring, slides under the bottom rope and flops into the corner, sitting watching up the ramp for Firewoman to make her entrance. The Cult’s “Firewoman” plays, and the OOWF Intercontinental champion Firewoman comes out to the top of the ramp – alone, with the IC title strapped around her waist. Fire walks to the ring and steps between the ropes and stands defiantly in the middle of the ring. Moose gets to his feet and meets her and they go nose to nose, but not a word is said. Fire takes her title off and hands it to the referee, never once taking her eyes off of Moose. The referee holds the title up, and calls for the bell, this one is underway.
Neither Fire nor Moose move, they just keep up an intense stare down. Finally Moose breaks the tension with a forearm to the side of the head. Moose grabs a stunned Fire by the back of the head and hammers her with shots to the face. Fire shoves Moose off to the ropes and Moose tries a clothesline, but Fire does the cool Matrix move to avoid it, then turns and catches Moose on the rebound with a spinning front kick that catches Moose on the mouth. Moose hits the mat and Fire covers, but doesn’t even get a one count before Moose kicks out and spins to his feet. Fire charges in, but Moose catches her with an elbow to the jaw that sends the champion between the ropes to the floor.
Moose follows Fire to the outside and grabs her head and slams it into the announce table, then hammers her in the face repeatedly, opening the barely healing cuts left from Tytan. Blood is pouring down Fire’s face as she slumps to the floor, but Moose pulls her to her feet and hits a snap suplex on the outside, then quickly rolls under the bottom rope to break the count. Moose slides back outside and grabs Fire by the head, but she breaks the grip with a mouth full of blood to the face of Moose. Moose staggers for a moment trying to get his vision back when Fire grabs him from behind and whips him head first into the ring steps. Moose comes up with a gash on his head, so he is also pouring blood. Folks we are less than five minutes into this match.
Fire pulls Moose up and rolls him under the ropes into the ring and follows him in. Fire pulls Moose to his feet and scoops him up and plants him on the mat, then climbs to the corner for the BFE, but Moose rolls out of the way, to her credit, Fire lands on her feet, but Moose sweeps her feet from beneath her and Fire hits the mat. Moose mounts Fire and hammers her with straight rights to the face, then hits the ropes and drops a knee across her chest. Moose doesn’t even try to cover, opting instead to pull Fire to her feet and tie her in the tree of woe! Moose gets a running start and BURIES a knee into Fire’s midsection. All the air rushes from Fire’s chest and she falls to the mat gasping for breath, but Moose isn’t done. He pulls Fire head first to the corner and puts her head next to the ring post, gets a running start and KICKS Fire’s head into the post! The crowd gasps as Fire goes limp. Moose rolls back into the ring and covers, hooking the leg, but Fire kicks out at two.
Moose snarls and pulls Fire to her feet and hauls her up in a vertical suplex, but Fire shifts her weight in mid air and reverses it into a spike DDT! Moose grabs his neck in pain and both remain on the mat for a six count. Moose is up first, and pulls Fire to her feet, but Fire slips behind Moose and hits a release German suplex, sending Moose OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Moose manages to land mostly on his shoulder and side, to avoid breaking his neck, but he is still in considerable pain. Fire slides out of the ring and now it is her turn to punish Moose. As Fire heads toward Moose, the audience buzzes. The camera pans around and we see that on one side of the ramp Run DEA is assembled and waiting, and on the other, Poe, Tyson Kincaid, Tytan and Seamus McNasty are all out watching the match. Fire grabs Moose and pulls him to the corner of the ring, then grabs his arms and pulls him back into the surfboard then FIRESTOMPS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE RING POST! Moose remains motionless on the ring post for a few seconds before slowly sliding to the floor. Fire grabs Moose and gets a few kicks in for good measure then rills him under the ropes into the ring. Fire follows and covers, but Moose is out at two.
Moose slowly gets to his knees and Fire connects with a shining wizard that leaves Moose slumped against the ropes. When Moose falls to the mat, Fire leaves the ring and climbs to the corner, but Moose gets to his feet and stumbles around the ring and falls against the ropes, sending Fire tumbling off the corner, hotshotting herself on the top rope! Fire staggers backward, right into the waiting arms of Moose who grabs her from behind and locks her into the ji-endo! Fire struggles to stay up on her feet, but Moose is trying to take her to the mat. Fire leans toward the ropes and falls through them to the floor, breaking the hold and perhaps saving her title as well. Fire and Moose both get to their feet and start trading haymakers. Moose blocks a punch and staggers Fire with a head but between the eyes, then takes her to the floor with a clothesline. Moose heads around the ring and rummages under the ring for something, and comes up with a barbed wire baseball bat. Fire slides under the bottom rope with a chair. Both get to their feet, weapons ready. Both stand there breathing heavy and bleeding badly, but neither one makes a move. The camera catches Fire looking over Moose’s shoulder at the Poe and his crew waiting to hit the ring the moment the action gets out of control. We then catch Moose looking back at DEA, all their members ready to sprint to the ring. Moose and Fire then steal a quick glance back at their stable mates, then back at one another. Without a word, Fire and Moose both drop their weapons and back toward the ropes. They both leave the ring and head up opposite ramps. As Moose passes, Poe gives him a strange look, but doesn’t say a word. As Fire passes with her title, Moreland looks amused, while Darling is nearly exploding with rage. The referee looks confused for a moment, then starts the count, by the time he gets to ten, both members are in the back out of sight.
WINNER – Double Count Out in 13:49
ERIC O’MAC vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchThe lights in the arena go out, and Davin Moreland’s Jumbotron comes up on the screen, as “Lux Aeterna” fires up over the PA. The crowd instinctually boos and readies their trash to throw. Davin Moreland appears at the top of the ramp, and he is literally covered in bandages; he almost looks mummified. Samantha and Alexis Darling each have one of his arms around their shoulders, and it’s clear that they’re literally carrying Davin down to the ring. Alexander Darling is with them too, trailing a couple of steps behind. It appears he’s making sure nothing untoward happens to Davin as he makes…as he’s HELPED to the ring. Once the 4 are inside with Davin Hightower, the Darling Sisters lean Davin against a turnbuckle, and all 3 Darlings take turns screaming at Davin, pleading with him to not wrestle. Davin mouths something like “Fuck Off”, and that’s pretty much the end of that conversation. The Darlings bail, but remain ringside as the lights go out again. The fans hear "C'MON MAN!" The lights stay off until the lyrics "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!" hit. At that point, there’s pyro, lots of pyro, and Eric comes out onto the ramp. Eric's entrance attire consists of a trenchcoat/hooded robe that matches his ring attire. He’s sporting the Red, White and Blue combination, and is wearing his OOWF World Heavyweight Championship around his waist. The ring announcer gets on the mic…
RA: Now approaching the ring area…from Miami, Florida…weighing in at 240 lbs…and the NEW OOWF World Heavyweight Champion…ERIC…O’MAC!
The crowd goes absolutely batshit and Eric drops the hood off his head and poses for the crowd before heading down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans, and it’s clear he is super amped-up for this one. He barely acknowledges any of the Darlings around the ring before climbing inside and posing for the crowd again. For whatever reason, they like the Douchebag Pose now. Whatever. Davin hasn’t moved from the corner yet, and this all looks very familiar. OOWF Senior Referee Davis Hightower takes the belt from Eric O’Mac and holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. He hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Eric slowly approaches the turnbuckle, but Davin still hasn’t moved. Eric turns away and suddenly CHARGES the corner…and EATS A BACK ELBOW! Ow. Anyway, Davin tries to take a couple of steps out of the corner to follow up on the offense, but his legs give out and he lands on his knees. Eric recovers quickly, and tries to follow up with a SHINING WIZARD but Davin ducks it and grabs Eric’s ankle, tripping him. Eric faceplants onto the mat, and it’s clear he’s unhappy as he crawls away. The Darlings are in full-throated applause on the outside, and Davin pulls himself up by the ropes. Both men get to their feet, and Davin provides the fake applause to Eric O’Mac, which gets some trash thrown in the ring. Davin gives Eric the “C’Mon” motion. Eric charges across the ring again, but as Davin gets his elbow ready again, Eric stops short, takes one step to his left, and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX on Davin, and Davin just falls wrong. He’s in a heap near the other side of the ring.
Immediately, Alexis Darling hops up on the apron, and starts screaming at Eric. Eric says nothing and just looks over. Alexis catches herself mid-sentence and just shuts up, climbing back down to the floor. Awkward. Eric turns around, and sees that Davin has gotten himself to a standing position again; but was really unable to do much else. Eric slowly walks over and signals for a lockup. They do, but Eric is easily able to lock in a headlock. He tries to cinch it in; but Davin smartly lets his body go limp, and Eric tumbles over into a Modified SNAP MARE. Davin quickly covers, and barely gets 1. Eric is PISSED he even got taken down, and MULE KICKS Davin in the head. HE covers, and Davin barely rolls the shoulder at 2 ½. Davin is flat on his back. Eric looks around and the crowd gets to their feet. OFF comes the elbow pad! Eric hits the far ropes…then the near ropes…and HITS THE ENTERTAINING ELBOW! Crowd goes batshit, and that’s probably it! Eric COVERS…and Davin JUST gets his shoulder up at 2.999999. Eric slaps the mat in frustration. He notices Davin is still flat on his back. He holds up his hand. The crowd goes nuts again! He bends over and waves his hand in front of his face! The crowd chants “YOU CAN’T SEE ME!” Eric hits the ropes, dusts his shoulder off and DROPS a BIG FIST…RIGHT INTO THE CANVAS!
Davin was able to avoid the punch, and relatively quickly traps that arm with his legs, and locks on a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Eric is in BIG trouble in the middle of the ring, and NOBODY saw this coming. Eric is hurting, but in a few seconds, it becomes clear that Davin really has nothing left on the hold, and Eric is easily able to escape it. Davin looks crestfallen as he rolls to his knees. Eric’s shaking his arm out as Davin uses the ropes to pull himself up again. Eric seems to formulate a plan and stalks Davin, and walks over to him purposefully. Davin futilely tries to lock up, but Eric easily slips underneath and hits a LUNGBLOWER but continues to hold Davin up…IT’S THE SMACKDOWN! This one is OVER! Hightower makes the academic count…1….2….and he’s PULLED OUT OF THE RING BY THE DARLING SISTERS!
Hightower is pissed and starts to admonish them, and they end up getting into a heated discussion about Brett Favre and why he sucks. Meanwhile, Eric is LIVID, and, while still in the ring, goes to head over to the fracas. However, he doesn’t see Alexander Darling behind him, carrying a SLEDGHAMMER with blood and an autograph on it! Not this shit again. Yes, again. Anyway, Darling SWINGS for the fences and CAVES the Champion’s skull in, possibly. At the very least it’s a concussion. Either way, Eric is completely unconscious and flat on his back. The crowd is shitting all over this. Trash floods the ring. Alexander poses with a sick grin on his face, which leads to an even bigger reaction. Satisfied, Alexander drags a still unconscious Davin Moreland across to Eric O’Mac, and drags his arm over. No…the crowd doesn’t like this…it doesn’t like this at ALL! Alexander bails. Coincidentally, this is when the sisters decide to stop arguing and point to the ring. Hightower, oblivious, slides into the ring to make the count…
Cole: NOT THIS WAY!
West: NO! No! No.
YOUR WINNER in 8:14 by PINFALL and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…DAVIN MORELAND!
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Dance of Death V! Live, January 25th from Hell, Michigan! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! January 7th from Springfield, Maryland
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!