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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 1, 2009 12:08:15 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, Maryland
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Tytan
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Fear Us vs. The Chickenshit Heels
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Alexander Darling vs. Seamus McNasty
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Match[/u] IHOP vs. Concrete TG & Revenge of the Nerds0
Winner Gets a World Title Shot[/u] Stank vs. Poe
Winner Gets an Intercontinental Title Shot[/u] FF Capslock vs. Chris Cole vs. Tyson Kincaid
15 Minutes of Fame with Eric O’Mac Spin Hansen vs. Moosehead Jack Damon Wrath vs. Matte Phantos & Lucios vs. To Be Named
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:10:01 GMT -5
**Matte is walking through the halls and feels someone grab his shoulder from behind. He turns around and sees Damon Wrath staring him in the eyes.**
Matte: What's up?
Damon: You think that because you're new around here, I'm going to take it easy on you?
Matte: Nah, I don't.
Damon: You think I won't be willing to kick your head clean off your shoulders?
Matte: You can try, man. Whatever.
**Matte mutters something to himself.**
Damon: What's that?
Matte: Nevermind.
**Matte turns back around and walks away.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:10:25 GMT -5
Poe and Selena are packing up their things in their locker room when SFJ #57 sticks her head into the door.
SFJ: Poe do you have a moment before you leave?
Selena hisses at SFJ.
Poe: You're new.
SFJ: Yeah they go through us like hotcakes.
SG: I dunno who 'they' are but they sure do suck at it.
SFJ: Next week you face Stank and the winner gets a shot at the World Title...
Poe: Yes, the bookers here are finally paying attention. It's funny to me that this may very well be the first time since I've come here that I've wrestled guys I don't hate back to back. Stank, I respect what you've accomplished here and you've always been straight with me. But it's my time now. I'm sorry I'll have to go through you to get my title shot, but so be it. Revel in the new year my friend. 2009 will not start out well for you. As for Davin, the champion again...
Poe laughs slightly.
Poe: You look more like a crash test dummy than a champion. Get your TLC and talk about yourself in the third person. For soon, that's all that will be spoken of you...for I will end you. I will be World Champion in three promotions. You...will be a memory. Namaste.
Poe offers his arm to Selena and she takes it. They leave the locker room. Selena looks back to the new SFJ.
SG: Neverwhore.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:10:46 GMT -5
(SFJ #52 approaches Concrete, who is relaxing and reading a comic book)
SFJ #52: Concrete, There's a rumor that you have some considerations of reforming the Heroes' guild. Without Firechild around as your perennial sidekick and continuing accusations toward former Senior Referee Sterling Glaw, is that even possible?
CTG: (looks up from his comic) That's a strange question, Citizen - reforming the Heroes' Guild is almost like working in the Avengers. Were I to stand in Times Square and shout "AVENGERS ASSEMBLE" I will get different heroes each time. So this time has come for me to make the call - and whomever answers will help me in my quest for Justice, and perhaps bring some prestige to the gold of this company.
SFJ #52: Rick posted it as "Revenge of the Nerds"
CTG: We are Not Even Remotely Dorky
SFJ #52: Geek
CTG: that's better
SFJ#52: (rolls her eyes and walks away)
CTG: What??
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:11:09 GMT -5
In the mighty hallowed halls of the Destroyatarium
Stank- Alright gentlemen, its a big week for us. Spin, you have to take on Moosehead Jack. That's a big big match, buddy. You ready for it?
Spin- Of course I am. Are you ready for the big match with Poe?
Stank- Absolutely. I win this and I'm back in the World Title picture. Its been far too long since I've held the title.
OBJ- Indeed, mate. You look odd without it, now that I think about it.
LD- We have a tough challenge ourselves. The Chickenshit Heels are no laughing matter.
Spin- Well, I think they're funny.
LD- That's not what I meant. I meant they are not to be taken lightly.
Spin- Alright, so we covered everybody! Let's go fellas!
Capslock- Um...
Stank- What was that noise?
Capslock- Its me! I have a possibility of getting another chance at the IC Title. It was unrighteously taken from me from the biggest douchebag on the planet. I need that title back and I'm gunning for it hard.
Spin- You had a singles title?
Capslock- Yeah, I was F. Fonzworth MacCappington III and I was a two-time IC Champion.
LD- That was you?
Capslock- Yes.
Stank- Weren't you with us the whole time?
Capslock- NO! I LEFT! I WAS A HEEL AND I HAD MY OWN THING GOING!
Spin- I coulda sworn you were with us the entire time.
Capslock- Goddammit, why do I even come back?
Stank- You were gone?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:11:42 GMT -5
(Tytan post match in the Ultimo Inc locker room. He is obviously pissed off as Steele and Biggs are trying to calm him down.)
Steele: You let her get under your skin. (Smacks him in the head.) Now look at what happened you lost to Cole.
Tytan: Arrgghhhh!
Steele: There needs to be a change in tactics here. Your match next week both myself and Biggs will be down there. We need to make sure there is no outside trouble.
Biggs: Couldn't agree with you more boss.
Tytan: Arrrggghh! (Punches locker..tosses a chair.)
Biggs: I guess he is a little bit pissed off. What do you think?
Steele: I would have to agree with you. Tytan now what do you plan on doing about this?
Tytan: (Breathing hard and still ticked off) Firewoman...you and me...Mayhem....let's take this little war of ours to the next level...let's make this match no where to run no where to hide...let's make our next match a STEEL CAGE match!
Steele: Well, Firewoman you have Tytan's challenge. What's your response?
Tytan: At Mayhem it will be time to put the Fire Out!
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:12:03 GMT -5
Alexander Darling is still FIRED UP after his beat down of Eric O' Mac, and storms into the RunDEA suites, breezing past everyone in the common area and past a few doors until he gets to the one that says Firewoman's Locker Room, Sponsored by GNC. Without hesitation he busts right in, where Firewoman is fortunately all changed into her jeans and long sleeved t shirt, zipping on her motorcycle boots, even though she has no motorcycle...grrr....
AD: Just what the fuck was that!
FW: [Without looking up] What was what?
AD: You! Moose! One minute you're killing each other, then all of a sudden... you just... LEAVE?! What the fuck! What kind of game are you playing now?!
FW: [Standing up to get her leather duster] Oh that. Nothing. No games.
AD: You expect me to believe you? What was in that note you had Lucky--
FW: Nice work with Eric by the way. Make sure there's something left for me, as I still owe hi--
AD: Don't change the goddamn subject.
Firewoman grabs her bag and starts to leave. Alexander slams the door shut (the force no doubt heard throughout the arena) and stands in front of it.
FW: Really?
AD: You're not going anywhere. You're going to tell me RIGHT NOW what you've got going on with Moose! RIGHT NOW!
Firewoman, finding herself cornered, does what she does best.
FW: Are you jealous or paranoid? Look, you need to get the fuck out of my way. I don't answer to you. I told you... I told you ALL to not interfere, and you couldn't even do that much--
AD: Did you not see--
FW: Yeah, I saw them. And when neither of our allies could do what we asked them to do, we did what we had to do.
AD: And left the ring? That doesn't make any sense, Fire.
FW: It made sense to me, and it made sense to Moose, and that's all you need to know. Now I have to stop by medical, and try and squeeze in two minutes to say goodbye to Tyler before we go our separate ways, so if you'll kindly get the FUCK out of my way before I have to MAKE you get the fuck out of my way...
The not-so-implied threat of violence hangs in the air for minute, and then finally Alexander steps aside. Firewoman glares at him for a second more and then storms out. Alexander waits a moment, clearly frustrated, then leaves also, slamming the door.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:12:47 GMT -5
[The Nerds are in their lockerroom, talking about their big win against Phantos & Lucios.]
Nayr: Man, I can't believe we pulled it off again! We really have Phantos & Lucios's number.
Bryce Larson: What's this "WE" bullshit. Who scored the fall? Me. Bryce Larson. Not you. I was able to reverse his roll-up and score the fall.
N: What? He had you rolled up, and I nailed him with a shining wizard. That's why you got the pin.
BL: When are you going to realize that I carry your undersized ass.
N: Last I checked, you tip the scales at 210. You're not too big yourself.
BL: Yeah, but I've won these ... [Bryce picks up one of the nine indy titles he likes to cart around.]
N: Yeah, and you lost all of them, too. Besides, it was one of those belts that we each got pasted with.
BL: That's true, but I pulled out the victory for us in the end.
N: You know what, I can't believe you. Everytime I think you're starting to get it, you--
BL: Whatever. Let's see what's on OOWF TV.
BL: What the fuck is THAT about?
N: I talked to 'Crete yesterday. It could be good for us, we'd have some back-up.
BL: Huh?
N: The Heroes Guild. I used to be a part of it, and if I go back, you can come with me. Then we can have someone to help us if we get attacked by, say, Run DEA again.
BL: Listen midget, I don't even like having a tag team partner, and you want me to be in a faction?
N: A Guild.
BL: Whatever.
[Nayr gets a text, and pops up.]
BL: Who's that from?
N: It's from GM The Rick. I need to go to his office.
BL: Why?
N: Don't look at me, I have no idea. But I'm headed out. You should really consider The Guild. It be exactly what we need, and exactly what the OOWF needs.
BL: [Sarcastically] Yeah, I'll take it under advisement.
N: [Mumbles as he's leaving the room] Such an asshole...
BL: I heard that!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:13:07 GMT -5
*Fade In from SPRINGFIELD, MD! (no cheap pop, because no one is here yet). Davin Moreland is CRUTCHING~!! his way to GM the Rick's office (but he's down to just one crutch...OMG PROGRESS!). There are clearly fewer bandages apparent this week, although he's wearing "casualwear" (douchebag shirt with douchebag pants and douchebag shoes), so it's difficult to tell for sure. He also looks seriously pissed off, and he just barges in (with a crutch, it's a funny visual) and spots Erlana. Erlana just sighs and makes the universal "Go On In" signal, and Davin does exactly that, and GM the Rick looks up*
GMtR: Davin. Did we have an app...
DM: Shut the fuck up, Rick *apparently Davin's jaw is wired shut. That's a neat little twist* Davin Moreland has beaten the odds and while nearly on death's door; has become the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion once again. Eric O'Mac has had Eric O'Mac's moment in the sun, but Davin Moreland proved that Davin Moreland is the better man, and even when Davin Moreland was physically not 100%...
GMtR: How about physically not 10%?
DM: Fine. Even better. Davin Moreland only needs to be at 10% physically to beat these jamokes...
GMtR: Well, Alexander did cave his skull with a sledgehammer...
DM: THAT IS NOT THE POINT! Besides Eric O'Mac cashed in Eric O'Mac's Money in the Bank after Davin Moreland was busy eliminating Stank the No-Seller. It's funny GM the Rick, Davin Moreland sends Stank off the top of a steel cage, off the top of a Jumbotron into a pit of electronic equipment and through 2 flaming tables sacrifices for the Unwashed Masses. It's Davin Moreland who sells for the Unwashed Masses. Davin Moreland doesn't even LIKE the Unwashed Masses. Davin Moreland does what's best for the OOWF, because without the OOWF; Davin Moreland has no jobbers to beat. Davin Moreland helps put food on the jobbers' families tables. Davin Moreland is a philanthropist. Davin Moreland is a benefactor. Davin Moreland is beneficent and magnanimous. Davin Moreland puts food on Stank the No-Seller's table, and Stank can't even show the common courtesy of selling in return...
GMtR: I'll talk to him about it...
DM: GM the RICK will do no such thing. Stank the No-Seller will apparently never sell, so GM the Rick's words will fall on deaf ears. GM the Rick should focus on more important things.
GMtR: Such as?
DM: Explaining to the greatest Superstar in OOWF History Davin Moreland as to WHY 2-Time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Davin Moreland is NOT on the card this week.
GMtR: You're serious?
DM: Davin Moreland is rarely NOT serious. Davin Moreland would TELL GM the Rick if Davin Moreland were not serious.
GMtR: An explanation?
DM: Yes, GM the Rick. As the greatest wrestler to ever set foot inside an OOWF ring, Davin Moreland deserves an explanation.
GMtR: Fine. *reads from a paper in front of him* Compressed vertebrae in the neck and back. Multiple hairline fractures in your arms and legs. 4 broken ribs. Multiple contusions...pretty much every where. Possible ligament damage in both knees. A possible pectoral tear. Multiple medium-grade concussions in successive weeks. Davin Moreland, you are not medically cleared to wrestle. Until you CAN be medically cleared, you WILL NOT be allowed inside an OOWF ring.
DM: *mouths something without sound to GM the Rick...Was that "Thank You"?* This is BULLSHIT. GM the Rick, Davin Moreland DEMANDS that GM the Rick put Davin Moreland on the card. Davin Moreland needs to re-assert Davin Moreland's dominance as the Greatest 2-Time OOWF Heavyweight Champion of ALL-time.
GMtR: My hands are tied. The lawyers were pissed I let you wrestle this week. Until you're medically cleared, you're not wrestling. That's final. Now do me a favor...and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
*Davin Moreland looks to speak again, but thinks better of it, and crutches toward the door*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:13:27 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline is shown walking on a golf course when his cell phone rings.]
JA: [checking caller ID] Nope... don't have time for you right now, Alan. I mean, my shoulder is too messed up from where I got blasted last week with a steel chair and then ripped out of socket that I can't answer my phone. Yeah, that's it.
[Johnny looks at his ball in the fairway.]
JA: [to caddy] Hey Chico... gimme the 9 iron.
[Johnny grabs the club and takes some hard practice swings and lines up his shot as we fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:13:49 GMT -5
Meanwhile, AA is in Las Vegas for New Year's, having secured passsed to the Red Bull No Limits truck flip and motorcycle jump.
AA (hanging up the phone): You think the little fuckwad would answer his phone so he can explaain to me why he keeps losing these matches. I bet he's swinging a 9-iron right now. I got your 9-iron RIGHT HERE, Johnny.
Ticket writer behind the sports book desk: You gonna make a bet or just cut a promo?
AA: Screw you. Give me Penn State. I know they're gonna whip USC's asses.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:14:10 GMT -5
[Bryce Larson walks by GM The Rick's office door, and Nayr comes out.]
BL: Nayr. What was that about? Is it what he texted you bout?
[Nayr puts an envelope into his jacket pocket.]
N: Yeah, it's what he texted me about.
BL: Well, what was it? What's in that envelope.
N: Can't say.
BL: Can't say? Can't? Or Won't!
N: Fine fuckwad, won't. Not until you earn it.
BL: Not until I earn it? I'll earn this shit right now!
[Bryce steps up to Nayr, who doesn't back down. GM The Rick appears out of the office, and breaks them apart, again.]
GMTR: Gentlemen...gentlemen! Break it up. Bryce, get your head on straight. This isn't just about you. You, Nayr & Concrete TG have a shot at the Campeonas de Trios this week. I know how badly you want to wear some gold, and this is your chance. Take it seriously, okay?
BL: Trust me, I take it seriously.
GMTR: Right. Nayr? Thanks for stopping by.
[Nayr heads off, and Bryce follows, acting all pissed off. GM The Rick simply shakes his head and walks back into his office.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:14:29 GMT -5
*Stank, visibly bandaged from various recent war wounds, has just finished watching Moreland's promo*
Stank - Davin Moreland just regained the World Title at 10% capacity and I'M the one not selling?
FFC - I guess bandaged and bruised in a hospital room wearing a neckbrace prior to Mayhem wasn't enough.
Stank - I suppose I should have done more to sell the career ending knee injury. I should walk with a limp unable to wrestle. THAT would have been fun.
FFC - Now buddy, I don't know if--
Stank - I suppose I shouldn't be able to speak now considering I was blasted in the face twice with a title belt by a 5'7" 150lb man. That was me laid out at the end of the match, was it?
FFC - Maybe you should start blinking once for "yes" and twice for "no".
Stank - You know what? Maybe I should start blinking once for "yes" and twice for "no".
FFC - I just said that.
Stank - I don't sell? I guess bandaged and bruised in a hospital room wearing a neckbrace prior to Mayhem wasn't enough.
FFC - Wait. I said that too.
Stank - I suppose I should walk around- no scratch that- CRAWL around here like some impotent beaten man, with no will to live after failing to beat Moreland for the title. I should sell THAT, right?
FFC - Yeah, that Davin is some piece of work.
Stank - Davin is some piece of work.
FFC - AM I EVEN HERE?
Stank - I'm not ever going to get a fair shake when it comes to Davin and me. This guy has tried to bury me at every turn and I sit here and take it. I talk big, I fight big, and it doesn't matter. I'm supposed to play the game his way. Well fuck that.
FFC - Yeah fuck that.
Stank - Yeah FUCK that.
FFC - FUCK THAT NOISE.
Stank - I'm not acting out of character for the sake of the fans or to placate anybody's ego trip other than my own.
FFC - You're your own man. You do you, and let the others do themselves.
Stank - Guess what? I will do me. And the rest can do themselves.
FFC - That sounded familiar.
Stank - I'm sorry if I'm not crippled enough for you, CHAMP! Maybe I don't break as easily as you. When I beat Poe and we face each other again for the rubber match, perhaps then you will rectify this and I won't merely be stretchered out by paramedics (The REAL kind) but taken out in a bodybag (The REAL kind). Perhaps I'll sell death... it will be a damn sight more than you do in any match involving the two of us.
FFC - Hey! HEY NOW! I think you're taking things a bit-
Stank - Or maybe you'll see to it that I don't get past Poe to face you. Perhaps you'll send Xanderboy to slam me upside the head with a sledgehammer and I'll sell an injury induced coma. They'll drag my unconscious body out to the ring where Poe will hit my motionless form with a leg drop and cover me for the pin and I'll miraculously kick out at 2.99999. Poe will get pissed, powerbomb my ass through a table, roll me into the ring, and cover, where I'll kick out again before the 3. Frustrated, Poe will change tactics, trying to submit me with his Desert Scorpion Death Lock, and I'll whine like a little bitch telling him to "quit it."... but he'll just wrench back harder, and just before I tap, somehow I reverse it into a Stank-U! Don't ask me how that shit works, but I've seen stranger moves in the OOWF... anyway... I hit Poe with the Stank-U covering Poe for the 1. 2. thre-- NO! No! Young Selena has jumped up on the apron, distracting the ref where they converse on the merits of Miley Cyrus's fame. Meanwhile, Firewoman rushes the ring carrying a M2A1-7 flamethrower. She douses both Poe and I in liquid fire and we writhe in agony as we burn to charred crisps. Selena gasps in horror, the intake of air allowing Poe's charred shell to be sucked over my own, where the ref drops and finally gets a three count. Your winner and Number one contender for the World title - Poe. Firemen (The REAL kind) show up and douse the flames and they carefully load our charred remains onto stretchers and carry us out the arena to the stunned silence from the crowd. I'm sure however afterwards we can count on you champ to bemoan the fact that I didn't burn enough and I should be down to ash instead of a burnt husk.
FFC -
Stank -
FFC - ... I got nothing.
Stank - Oh. HEY Lock! Did you hear the shit Davin was just saying about me?
FFC - I was sitting right here watching it with you.
Stank - You were?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:14:54 GMT -5
*in the Destroyitarium*
Spin: Were you the guy carrying signs?
FFC: No.
LDW: Did you hang out in a church?
FFC: No, I was the rich guy.
OBJ: Were you Alex Darling or Davin Moreland?
FFC: No, MacCappington!
Stank: Weren't you in love with a Wiccan for a while?
FFC: No. At least, not that I remember. I mean, no! I was the leader of Loaded!
Spin: The team that threw people out of windows?
FFC: Well, they were part of the group for while, I think.
LDW: You mean the Defenestrators?
OBJ: Oh I remember those guys.
FFC: Now we're getting somewhere.
Stank: You mean you were a Defenestrator at the same time you were here? I hope you got paid overtime.
FFC: I didn't need to get paid overtime! I was rich!
OBJ: You can get rich throwing people out of windows?
LDW: Well, Momma makes a good living at it.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:15:52 GMT -5
We open the scene on the palatial IHOP locker room. We see SYB sitting off in a corner, playing poker with Monkh.
Monkh: Ok, I think I've got a frush.
SYB: What the fuck's a frush?
Monkh shows a royal flush.
Monkh: A frush?
SYB: Well I've got two sevens, and two sevens beats a frush.
Monkh: Oh... thank you.
The camera pans over to Skurge, The Amnesiac and Fezzik, who are all playing Rock Band 2, with Fezzik belting out his rendition of Painkiller, by Judas Priest (yikes!). The Amnesiac wears a shirt that says 'Gimme Head Til I'm Dead'. The song ends, and the three men put down their instruments.
Skurge: Hey Solly... Monkh... get over here for a second.
The group all comes together.
Skurge: So, it looks like we've got the Nerd Herd this week.
SYB: NERDS!
Skurge: Yeah, Solly... they're nerds. Calm down. We've got this under control. While these guys are trying to figure out who gets to be Spiderman, we'll be the same fighting Chimpions we've always been.
SYB: NERDS!
Skurge: Solly... listen up. I have no idea how the fuck you competed with us on Wednesday, and frankly, I don't care. Obviously, this week has left you with some residual brain damage-
SYB: NERDS!
Skurge: -but we're gonna defend these titles like we always have.
The locker room door opens. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth walks in.
DM: I just got out of jail.
IHOP: JAIL!?
DM: Yeah, I got pulled over on New Year's Eve for a DUI.
IHOP: A DUI!?
DM: Yeah, don't act surprised. Jesus, it's not like I got arrested for mopery or something.
Fezzik: What's mopery?
DM: Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person. Anyways... I'm back now, and it's all been straightened out. But I'm not going to be able to drive the IHOP tour bus anymore.
Skurge: You don't drive the IHOP tour bus now.
DM: So then nothing's changing. Can we get back to these nerd guys?
SYB: NE-
IHOP: SHUT UP, SOLLY!
DM: I've gotta admit, I'm a little worried.
AMN: Worried about what?
DM: Well, these guys beat Phantos and Lucios twice now.
Skurge: So what? My dead grandmother could beat those guys with one arm tied behind her corpse.
DM: They're on a roll now, though. They have momentum.
Skurge: Yeah, well we happen to have the wall that stops momentum. Right Fezzik?
F: I like nerd guys. They're pretty funny. Plus, CTG will be with them. He seems to have had The Amnesiac's number every time they met in the ring.
AMN: Well yeah... but that was a long time ago.
Silence comes over the crowd for a moment. After a few moments, Skurge steps up onto the makeshift Rock Band 'stage' that has been built into the locker room. He grabs the Rock Band microphone.
Skurge: Okay... so in honor of our facing the Revenge of the Nerds this week, we're gonna go ahead and have a Belching contest right now. Let's bring up our two participants. First up, Frederick Solomon.
SYB steps up onto the stage as well and whispers something in Skurge's ear.
SYB: (whispered) *That's Solly, ya bastard!*
Skurge: Sorry, Solly, ya bastard!
Solly steps up to the mic and lets out a fairly long belch. Fezzik, Monkh and Dorothy Mantooth all clap.
Skurge: Uh, next up... Booger.
The Amnesiac steps up onto the stage.
AMN: That's THE Booger.
He grabs the mic from Skurge, takes a long sip of his soda, and then begins two and a half minute-long burp. After a moment or two of stunned silence, Fezzik, Monkh and Dorothy start cheering wildly. Even Skurge and SYB have to bow to the might of The Amnesiac.
AMN: So... how else are we preparing for the Geek Squad?
SYB: NERDS!
*FADE TO BLACK*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:16:14 GMT -5
Once again, in Rick's office, Lucios is not happy
Lucios: NO! You are giving us our rematch!
GMtR: No, I'm not. You have walked around here sticking your noses up at me and everyone esle for too long. LD is right. You have pissed on the legacys of too many of our superstars. I am teaching you a lesson.
Phantos: Man, thats just stupid. We aren't in middle school. Just quit screwing with us and make it right!
GMtR: RIGHT? Has ANYTHING you two done lately been right? I tell you what. Not only am I postponing your rematch, not only will you curtain jerk for the next month, I am REVOKING your promoing privileges. No Promos. No SFJ's. AND you are back on ring set up duty. Now get out there and get to work!
Lucios: And if I refuse?
GmtR: Well, that would be gross insubordination, and you'd be in violation of your contract. You could go back to Texas and wrestle in cow pastures.
Phantos walks up to Rick and gets nose to nose with him. He speaks softly and slowly.
Phantos: This is wrong. I will make sure you regret every word you just said.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:16:34 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting in his darkened locker room when there is a knock at the door. Moose yells and Poe enters, alone>
MHJ: Poe. No Selena?
Poe: She is safe in our locker room.
MHJ: Have a seat
<Poe pulls up a chair and sits and stares at Moose for a moment>
MHJ: What's on your mind?
Poe: I have to know something.
MHJ: Why, right
Poe: Indeed
MHJ: Look, I asked you and the others to stay in the back. You came out to the top after DEA decided not to listen to to Fire either. She is more miffed about it than I am, I don't give orders, and I don't really expect you or anyone else to listen.
Poe: It was.......a heat of the moment decision, probably one that we shouldn't have made
MHJ: It doesn't matter at this point.
Poe: That still doesn't answer the question
MHJ: Let me ask you this. What would have happened if Fire and I had started wailing on one another with those weapons?
Poe: Armageddon
MHJ: Exactly. It would have been a war. Do we need to be at total war with DEA?
Poe: They are an enemy
MHJ: They are. But we have to be smarter than that. Look, the OOWF just got done with one war, we don't need another. Wise men learn from mistakes, if we go screaming headlong into a war with DEA, who wins?
Poe: <thinking for a moment> Drink and Deatroy
MHJ: Exactly. We clear out DEA, and they reap the benefits. I know you want to get your hands on Davin and the boy, I know Tytan and Tyson want to kill Fire, and I know Seamus would love to take that Onslaught title from Darling, but we have to be smarter than that. We can accomplish all that without making it personal.
Poe: You think Drink & Destroy will work against us?
MHJ: Of course they will. They are in the same situation we are. We have no real problem with Drink and Destroy, but we all have the same goal. At some point, all of our paths will cross. Those with the clearest head will come out on top.
<Poe leans back in his chair and thinks for a moment>
Poe: Your agreement with Darling....
MHJ: There is no agreement
Poe:<raising an eyebrow> I am not one to pry. But I have heard the whispers. There is a rumor that DEA would like to recruit you and Williams to make a run at the trios titles.
MHJ: I have heard that. Can you see LD working with DEA?
Poe: No, I cannot. You, on the other hand......you have said yourself, you are a mercenary
MHJ:<pausing for a moment> Like I told you, you have nothing to worry about from me. Just remember, you have a match with Stank this week, Stank is tough as hell, he knows what you can do. The way you both handle this match will go a long way toward the future of the OOWF
Poe: <smirking> Let's not forget, you have Spin this week as well
<Moose grins and we fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:16:53 GMT -5
<SYB is WALKING~! down the hallway and bumps into CTG>
SYB: What are you looking at nerd, huh?
<He smirks and walks away>
CTG: I thought I was looking at my mother's old douchebag, but that's in Ohio.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:17:15 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline, his round of golf now complete, is smoking a cigar at the clubhouse and walks out onto the porch.]
JA: NOW... I have time to talk.
[Johnny rubs his shoulder and pulls out his cell phone. He speed dials Attitude Adjuster.]
JA: ...
JA: ...
JA: ...
[AA's voice mail kicks in.]
AA: Hi, this is Alan. Sorry I missed your call. If this is my bookie, the check's in the mail. If this is the beautiful woman whom I had dinner with last night, let's do it again sometime. If this is L.D. Williams' mother, I'm sorry and I won't do it again... for a while anyway. And if this is Johnny, I know you're on a golf course somewhere avoiding me, but if you'd cut a few more promos rather than hit the links 5 days a week, maybe you wouldn't be jobbing on Mayhem every week. We have a rematch this week, so I'd like to get together and strategize sometime. Got it? [beep]
JA: Yeah, I got it, and if you...
[The voice mail cuts Johnny off before he can say anything more.]
JA: That son of a bitch.
[Johnny pockets his phone and walks back into the clubhouse.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:17:33 GMT -5
Firewoman is walking down the hall, deep in thought when she spies Selena Gomez, who is all unattended-like while Poe and Moose are meeting, wandering the halls as well, singing some stupid Disney song. Selena sees her and freezes. Firewoman smiles, kind of a cross between a Cheshire cat and a predator that catches it's prey. She *batistalaughs* and walks past Selena, who has plastered herself against the wall, without saying a word.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:18:25 GMT -5
<SYB walks back into the palatial IHOP locker room where a festive round of Rock Band just ended.>
Skurge: Fezzik you gave it a nice try, eh?
Fezzik: I don't know what happened. I really thought the chorus was "Rye or The Kaiser".
Skurge: It happens chief.
<SYB grabs the mic and pulls out a piece of paper>
SYB: Peep this. I have a new song for us. Ready?
IHOP: ...
SYB: OK then.
Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands! We're International House of Pain and... Dorothy too We come here in the ring tonight to kick some ass for you
We are the chimpions, we’re the best around Beat you through the air, beat you on the ground
We've got big ol’ Fezzik outside the ring And Monkh and some guy will be joinin' in
Skurge is the final piece of the three Listen to the rap from I-H-O-P
We've got Solly getting beaten like a gong The boys in the back are all clappin’ along
And just when you thought you'd seen it all We’re facing a team of midgets, none over 4 feet tall
So won't you come on out here, in the ring, So we can break your bones and make you sing
Break!
Skurge: Huh. Who thought of that?
SYB: Moose was nice enough to write it.
<Kayfabe breaks a guitar over SYB's head. SYB goes down in a heap and Kayfabe slowly retreats out of the locker room.>
The Amn: What the hell happened to him anyway?
DM: What do you mean?
The Amn: I mean Poe practically killed him at the PPV and Moose broke his neck right after that.
Skurge: I have a theory aboot that...
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:18:56 GMT -5
(Tytan watches on as Firewoman makes her way past Selena salivating at the oppertunity to stirke. Her head still turned eyeing down Selena as he steps in her way.)
Firewoman:(gaining her balance) Hey watch it you--(looking and realizing who it is.)
Tytan: Going back to being the bully on the playground again?
(Firewoman stares at Tytan trying to burn a whole through him)
Tytan: Be careful there Fire, you don't want to bust any of those stiches.
(Fire continues the stare..)
Tytan: By the way it looks like it is healing up nice (He moves in to get a closer look)
Firewoman: I wouldn't get any closer is I were you.....you are getting so close to crossing the line.
Tytan: Oh doing commercials for TNA now are we.
Firewoman: You are going to see a side --
Tytan: Zip it sister. You have ran your mouth rambling off that bull for how long now. It's just old and frankly I just don't care. You heard my offer for Mayhem...we are headlining the card let's make it a steel cage.
Firewoman: I could take you right---
Tytan: I said zip it. I made my offer...so now we are done here. Unless you really want to piss me off.
(Firewoman obviously fustrated and pissed walks off. Tytan checks on Selena.)
Tytan: How are you doing kid?
Selena: (Unsure) Thanks.
Tytan: It's going to get ugly around here. If I were you I would stay close to Poe.
Selena: Okay...thanks. (She runs off.)
(Tytan smiles and walks off)
Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:19:15 GMT -5
[OOWF-TV cameras catch-up with Bryce Larson, on his cell phone.]
BL: Hi, Paul? ... Yeah, this is Bryce Larson, remember me? ... Yeah, I'm in the OOWF now, thanks for asking. ... You do? How long have you followed it. ... Whole time, huh? Nice. ... Yeah, it is a big step up, I know, but I felt like I was ready. ... No, ROH wouldn't book me, not sure why. ... Maybe. Hey, remember when you were going to book me in ECW when I was starting out, and it folded? You said I could call you for advice if I needed. ... Yeah, I know it's been like 8 years, sorry about that. ... Thanks, I appreciate it. See, I'm teaming with this guy, he's real talented and popular, but I just think something's missing. Maybe it's me. ... Yeah, I know we haven't teamed all that long. Now he wants me to join a faction with another popular wrestler, it's an old faction that might get back together. ... The Heroes Guild. ... You have? Okay. ... Really? I didn't know you were familiar that with Concrete TG. ............. So go along for the ride and see what happens, huh? I guess I can do that. ... You're right, you do need someone to watch your back, especially around here. ... Listen Paul, I'm sorry to have bothered you for so long. I really appreciate it. ... Happy New Year to you, too. ... I will. ... Thanks.
[Bryce hangs up and thoughtfully checks out some more OOWF TV.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:19:36 GMT -5
We fade back in to the hallway, before Tytan can walk too far away.
FW: Hey. Asshole.
Tytan turns around.
T: I assume you mean me?
FW: A steel cage is fine with me. Think you can handle it, without your army of security guards?
T: Oh, I think I can handle it. Your buds won't be able to help you either.
FW: That totally sparkles with me. I know you're mostly brain dead, but even you have to remember that Moose and I were well on the way to killing each other all on our own until you all interfered.
T: Almost interfered.
FW: [smiles] Almost. If you think a little steel cage is going to scare me, then your Mr. Biggs isn't doing as good a job snooping around my background as his high salary would indicate.
T: You....wait.....
FW: Yeah, I know. I know many things. Right now I know that--
T: That you are oh so close to doing something really evil and scary, blah blah blah, I've heard it.
FW: Well, I was going to say right now I know that I'm going to my locker room, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
T: Ya think?
FW: Oh just try it. Go ahead. [The two start to move closer together. Firewoman's hand is in her jacket pocket and it closes on something.] Go ahead get the first shot, but you better make it a good one, or I'll shred--
DM: FIRE!
Davin Moreland appears behind Tytan, propped up on a crutch.
FW: Stay out of it, Davin.
DM: No. You want Rick to suspend you?
Firewoman is not backing down, and Tytan is smiling
T: No offense, but this doesn't concern you, Champ.
DM: If it's about my teammate, then yes it does
T: Gee, Fire, I thought you said you didn't need RunDEA to protect you.
DM: I'm not protecting her.
Tytan rolls his eyes, as Davin walks past him and stands between Fire and Tytan. He looks down at her.
DM: Let's go, Fire.
Fire doesn't move, and neither does Tytan.
DM: Fire.....remember what you said.....
Fire finally appears to notice Davin's existence, and looks at him as if she really did just notice that he was there.
DM: It's not time. Save it for the ring.
Fire relaxes and walks down the hall, with Davin hobbling along behind her. Tytan is quite pleased with himself and continues in the opposite direction.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 10, 2009 16:19:56 GMT -5
**Fear Us enter Ric's sandwich shop and walk past a table where Phantos and Lucios are having lunch.**
L: “You guys are going to pay for this.”
LDW: “Your lunch? Geez, guys, I know you've been without the belts for a couple of weeks, but are things that tough already? What about the endorsements?”
OBJ: “You guys must have gone to the Chickenshit Heels school of financial management.”
RF: (in the backgound) “Should have used ricflairfinance.com, fatboy! Whoooo!”
P: “Very Funny. Jerls. We're talking about stealing our championships.”
LDW: “I'm insulted. I've never stolen anything in my life.”
OBJ: “Not that anyone could prove.”
LDW: “True... Anyway, we didn't steal the titles. We earned them.”
L: ” They are Championships and you didn't earn them because you didn't defeat us.”
OBJ: “Funny, the way I see it, you had two sets of challengers in that match and you didn't beat either one. That kinda says you didn't deserve to be champions anymore.”
P: “We're ten times the champions you are and you know it.”
L: “And if you had any ba-guts, you'd make Rick give us our rematch.”
**OBJ snarls, but LDW puts out a hand to stop him.**
LDW: “We have nothing to do with Rick's decisions, gentlemen, and if you had any balls, you wouldn't whine to Rick, or to us, about a rematch, you'd get in the ring and earn one. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have actual challengers to prepare for.”
**Fear Us walk away, but OBJ stops and comes back. He throws some money on the table.**
OBJ: “Let me buy you lunch boys. 'Cause if you ever accuse us of not having balls again, the only eating you'll be doing is through a needle in your arm.”
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