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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:32:51 GMT -5
The bright winter sun is streaming in the windows of the RunDEA suites. Firewoman is sitting at the table, drinking coffee, hopefully without being bothered by a certain person. The door from her room opens and Alexis Darling comes out, after taking a shower.
LD: Oh my god, is that coffee?
FW: It is.
Alexis grabs a cup and drinks it as if she’s never had coffee before
FW: Easy, or it’ll come back up. I got you some water, and here’s some vitamin B complex and some Tylenol…wait, are they a sponsor?
LD: I don’t know, and I don’t care. My head is killing me.
FW: Well, here you go anyway.
LD: Thanks.
FW: No problem. Actually, Lucky went to the drug store—
LD: No I meant for coming to get me. And staying with me—
FW: [smiling] That’s never a problem. Although I do prefer you a little more conscious.
LD: [Also smiles] Me too. Maybe next time. [takes another sip of coffee, then looks at it, and up at Firewoman, who is doing a crossword puzzle.] This isn’t Dunkin Donuts.
FW: No, it isn’t.
LD: [eyeing it, at Firewoman, suspiciously.] Where’d you get it?
FW: Huh? Lucky got it for us when he got your –
LD: Lucky? Or Moose?
FW: What? Okay, you’re still drunk. You were on that last night too. There’s nothing going on—
LD: No? Do you want to recap the number of cozy little meetings you two have had?
FW: What meetings? He follows me around. I don’t go looking for him.
LD: You don’t discourage him either.
FW: Seriously. Let’s not do this right now. You’re still not 100 percent.
LD: When would you like to do it then? Maybe next time Alexander is getting laid out by some geeks in the hallway?
FW: [Getting angry… well, angrier than usual] Okay, drop it. Now. I'm not in the mood, and you're --
LD: Seriously, where were you? Discussing whether or not to use one of those new CF lightbulbs for his closet?
FW: [Standing up and leaning over the table towards Alexis] If you must know, I was being cornered by your special friend, Poe.
LD: He is not my special friend. [Alexis stands up]
FW: Not any more, no. Either way, I think we both know how much I love being cornered, especially by him, so back the fuck off with the accusations.
LD: …
FW: Besides, where were you? You’re no slouch in the ring or out. Maybe you and Eric were having a reunion?
LD: Oh….low blow.
FW: I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there.
Alexis throws the coffee cup at Firewoman, who ducks and merely grins, but it would appear that we are in that portion of such fights known as 'No Turning Back Now."
FW: Touch a nerve?
LD: Jealous much?
FW:….
LD:….
FW: I don’t have time for this. I have a match against some guy to prepare for. [She takes off towards her locker room].
LD: Yeah, go ahead. Disappear. You’re good at that.
Firewoman stops, turns with daggers in her eyes
FW: What?
LD: You know exactly what.
FW: You know, I’ve had enough of this shit. You and Alexander and even Davin can play your games, and make deals with people you fight with all day long. I have involuntary coffee with Moosehead Jack and I’m evil, I’m disloyal, I’m suspect. Well, enough is enough, Alexis.
LD: I have never --
FW: What about you and Stank, huh? You didn’t go to the Destroyitarium because you were thirsty.
LD: You’ve had enough? Fine! [Alexis storms off to her office, because we have those here, and comes back with a file]
FW: What is that?
LD: Your contract. Here, take it. You’ve had enough, right? Besides, you’re only here because you feel obligated anyway, right? That’s what Moose keeps saying. So take it. Rip it up.
FW: Seriously.
LD: Seriously.
The two women stare each other down. Finally, Firewoman grabs the contract, as she is fuming now, grabs her lighter and sets it on fire and throws it into the conveniently placed metal trashcan.
FW: I’ll be sure to ask Rick for a different locker room at our next stop.
LD: Maybe you can get one with a closet and a lightbulb in it.
Firewoman looks like she wants to just physically destroy Alexis, but chooses this particular moment to exercise some restraint and heads to her locker room. But before she can get too far…
LD: Oh by the way, Firewoman, the fine print in your contract, that you never bothered to read? That Jericho kept asking about? Your contract is for five years. If you void your contract before that time you have to pay Darling Enterprises back any expenses that you have incurred that we have taken care of for you. That means anything related to the ring like clothing, all those fines and locker room destruction fees, oh and the beach house damages? Remember those?
FW: You’ve got to be kidding me.
LD: Not even close to kidding. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can work in both damaged motorcycles too. Our lawyers will be in contact with you, about a payment plan.
Firewoman is speechless with rage, and turns to go into her locker room, slamming the door behind her loud enough to be heard three states away. Alexis stands smugly in the room for a bit, until she remembers she has a hang over and sits down. And then, as she replays what just happened.
LD: Oh shit…..Alex and Davin are going to kill me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:33:26 GMT -5
Stank - Hey Lock, c'mere for second. FFC - Yeah what's up, buddy? Stank - The price of beer, my friend, the price of beer. FFC - Yeah, I hear ya. Stank - Do you? Do you really? FFC - Yeah why do you ask-- oh wait. *FF Capslock raises the broken beer bottle he still holds in his left hand. He then looks at the beer spilled all over the floor.* Stank - FFC - I meant to finish it before... hey it was the heat of the moment. Stank - What's gotten into you? FFC - Uh... you mean recently? Stank - We used to wreck fools who carelessly mishandled beer. FFC - I know... Moose tends to bring out the worst in me. Stank - Yeah I noticed. You shot him twice. FFC - Yeah... Stank - What the fuck is up with that? FFC - *sigh* There's a lot you don't know about me, buddy. Stank - I'm pretty sure that's gimmick infringement. FFC - Huh? Stank - Phantos... never mind. FFC - Anyway, Moose and I have a storied history. Stank - I know you and I have fought Moose and LD over there, on numerous occasions in tag team matches, but I don't recall-- FFC - I mean BEFORE the OOWF. Stank - Before? Really? FFC - Yeah... I used to wrestle at this old indie promotion back in Fresno that was a little more family oriented. I was so young. I was a different person back then. _________________________ Scene fades to 6 years ago_________________________ Announcer - Ladies and Gentlemen Please welcome... The FWO WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... Positive FF BACKSPACE! *Generic Rap music fires up as FFC walks out to the cheers from the 14yr olds in the crowd. FFC is in full rap, bling, regalia. He stuts out on stage and raises his blinged out title in the air to another loud pop from the crowd. Several white kids in the crowd are dressed just like Lock with their own replica belts and bling. The parents, the kids, they all have smiles on their faces, as FFC is handed a mic and he struts his way down the ramp, toward the ring, rapping his theme song.* FFB - Whoo hoooooo a wha HA HA HA... I respect women when I am on a date, I take em to the park or maaaybe the museum and I onlytrytokiss em... IF they readeee whoo hoo asay wha wha wha asay wha-__________ Stank - HOLD IT! Wait just a damn minute! FFC - What? Stank - You... had a rapper gimmick? FFC - It was clean rap. Nothing dirty Stank - That's not even remotely the point. FFC - Can I finish? Stank - FFC - Stank - Fine. Continue. FFC - Anyway... ____________ Fade back in____________ FFB - HELP out your mom and dad with a job, so you can help pay for SCHOOL supplies awhoo hoooo asay wha wha WHOA -_____________ Stank - Stop! FFC - WHAT? Stank - You can skip the rapping part. FFC - It's an integral part of the story! Stank - FFC - Stank - Proceed. ______________ Fade back in______________ FFB - WIPE your shoes on the mat when you come indahouse someone just... CLEAN dat floor awhoo hoooooo asay wha wha whaaaaaa*FFC proceeds to step over the ropes and throw his arms up in the air in the classic "raise the roof" gesture. The kids in the crowd do the same and... YES... there's the sqeeeeeee! from the 13 year old girls, as Lock removes his jacket, revealing his CHISELED physique!* ______________ Stank - FFC - Don't. Say. a word. ______________ Fade back in______________ *FFC waits for the crowd noise to die down before addressing them.* FFB - Yo Yo It's YA BOYEEEE! *The crowd SQUEALS in delight!* FFB - FF Backspace in da house coming atcha LIVE and in LIVING CUHLAH HOLLA! *The crowd screams* ___________ Stank - I'm going to throw up. FFC - Shut it. _____________ Fade back in_____________ FFB - Ya'll make sure you buy my new CD Positve FF Backspace - My Thoughts Don't Smell! droppin in stores next week, Holla~! Alright Ya'll, before my next match, I'm gonna hit cha'll with some rhymes from track 18 which ironically just hit number 18 on the Freshno Billboard hot list. Here's my hit Listen to yo Teacha!! and it goes a little sumpin like diiiss.. *Mercifully, Lock is interrupted as “Scarecrow” by Ministry fires up over the loudspeakers and a haggard, though younger looking, Moosehead Jack walks out to a chorus of booos. This is Moose's first match in the FWO and he has already gained a reputation in indie circuits as... well let's just say no one wants to work with him. Moose actually had a manager back then who thought to give his guy a fresh start by bringing him to the Family Wrestling Organization... it would be his last day as Moose's manager* FFB - AYO! YO! Moose! Dog, I knows yous is new around chere! So yous needs to recognize the REALLY real! I am da CHAMP! and you? Yous about ta git STOMPED! Ya HEARD? *Moose scowls in confusion.* FFB - But FIRST I needs to do my thang, dog. I'm about to spread the word. Drop some knowledge on the masses about stayin in school and listening to yo TEACHAAA! *The crowd screams as Moosehead Jack's scowl grows deeper.* FFB - LISTEN to YO teach, LISTEN to YO teach, He's GAH the speech das gonna leach the breach between ya BRAIN and da bad stuff tha makes ya do da nastee and INSANE and da-*Fuck the script. Moosehead Jack RUSHES the ring and ATTACKS FF Backspace from behind, to RAUCOUS boos! FF Backspace is down as Moose STOMPS him like a mad man!* FFB - AYO dog! What are you DOING?!? *Moose ignores FF Backspace's pleas and snatches up the mic and starts PUMMELING Lock in the head opening up a huge gash, as blood spurts everywhere!* FFB - OW! MAN! OW! That hurts! MHJ - Shut the fuck up! FFB - OW! OW! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!! MHJ - I SAID! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! *The crowd is HORRIFIED as there are no blade jobs in the FWO... or cursing. Moose could care less as he continues his onslaught. Lock starts to fight back, throwing the smaller man off of him, attempting to HULK UP! but Moose isn't having any of that, as he slides out the ring, grabs Lock's title belt, and as Lock is busy flexing and posing to the cheering crowd, he has his back turned to Moose, who FLIES back into the ring, and BLASTS Lock in the FACE with his own blinged out title belt! Lock goes down HARD, covering his busted head in his hands. Moose pounces on the unsuspecting FF Backspace and locks in the JIENDO, blood SPURTING out of FFC's head! The crowd is shitting all over this. This is supposed to be family entertainment? They boo, and boo, and boo as FFC fades into oblivion. Someone in the crowd yells out to Jack--* SITC - YOU NEED JESUS! *Moose only smirks in response.* ____________ Stank - FFC - Jack was fired on the spot and I was out for weeks and had to forfeit my Championship. I fell into a depression and opted not to renew my contract. Stank - FFC - I lost my record deal. There didn't seem to be anything positive to rap about anymore. Death Metal made more sense to me. I was never the same man again. Stank - FFC - Stank - FFC - He corrupted me. Stank - He probably saved your life. FFC - HE CORRUPTED ME! Stank - Damn, if I didn't respect Moose BEFORE... FFC - Stank, I became a drunkard, a gambler, and an animal abuser! Stank - Ex.. cept.. for that last bit, I don't see what the problem is. FFC - My bitchy wife! My ungrateful kids! They left me! I was morally destitute, with thoughts of revenge! I spent months tracking Moose down! Losing myself to booze and loose women! Stank - FFC - I became morally BANKRUPT! Stank - FFC - Moose is the man RESPONSIBLE! Stank - Excuse me... I need to go. FFC - WHERE are you GOING? Stank - I need to go thank someone. <Fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:33:55 GMT -5
[Bryce Larson & Nayr are WALKING! and come to a crossroads. It's either the Hallway of Random Encounters.....or turning left. They turn left.]
BL: What's down here?
N: No idea, I always go the other way.
BL: Me, too.
N: Holy shit, is that a unicorn?
BL: And two women, one in black lingerie and one in white lingerie, serving beer?
N: And a midget riding a tricycle?
BL: Why do we always go the other way?
N: THERE'S the catering table?
BL: Woah, we've been making Taco Bell runs for nothing? I might be in a better mood all the time if I had this.
Random Voice: It's been here all along.
N: Who are you?
BL: That's John Lauranitus, from the WWE.
N: What?
JL: Yup, we're pretty much always here. But no one ever turns left.
BL: Wait, is that Maria and Maryse?
N: Naked and making out?
JL: Yup, they're cuddling after having lesbian sex. It happens all the time down here.
BL: Holy fuck.
N: I can't believe it. It's USUALLY like this?
JL: Yes. Why do you think Gryfon REALLY signed with us. [Smiling.] Because he turned left.
BL: So we turn right, and we can get our asses kicked.
N: But if we turn left, we can eat, drink, and watch WWE Divas have lesbian sex as much as we want.
BL: [Sarcastic.] See Nayr, you can't get that in a video game.
N: [Completely serious.] Not like this!
JL: If you boys are ever interested in a developmental deal, let me know. Here's my card. Florida's nice, even in the winter.
BL: Is it like this down there?
JL: Not hardly. All gutter sluts and rats. Not ring rats, but real rats.
N: Oh...
JL: But if you get called up to RAW or Smackdown--
BL: What about ECW?
JL: Oh crap, we always forget that brand even exists. You're right. If you get called up to RAW, Smackdown or ECW, you can have all of this you like.
N: Hmm.
BL: Yeah, we'll keep that in mind.
N: [Looking around JL and BL to see more of Maria and Maryse.] I know I will.
JL: If you'll excuse me gentlemen?
N: Right, no problem. Nice to meet you.
[JL exits.]
BL: Didn't you want to talk to me?
N: Yes, let's go someplace more private.
BL: In a minute. [Moves his head to get a better view of Maria and Maryse, then grabs Nayr over to watch when Beth Phoenix shows up.] I think we can put that off for a bit, yes?
N: Most definitely.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:34:15 GMT -5
*We get a blank screen, with a voice-over.*
VO: There was a man, a legend, in the OOWF.
*We see a clip of Blitz looking at himself in the mirror, clearly impressed with his appearance.*
VO: He was courageous, and would never back down.
*We see Blitz running away from various other wrestlers.*
VO: A firm believer in what was right.
*Clips of Blitz various video games.*
VO: A man who struck fear into the hearts of his enemies.
*No clips.*
VO: He’s been away, recovering from horrific injuries.
*We see Blitz being rushed to an ambulance.*
VO: While he’s been away, he has been training very hard
*A Japanese music video of a teen pop star, with a scantily clad Blitz as a backup dancer.*
VO: He’s been trying out some other career choices.
*A mustachioed Blitz having sex with a woman that looks like a younger Sarah Palin.*
VO: Well now he is back where he belongs: In the OOWF.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:34:45 GMT -5
Firewoman and Lucky are sitting in Firewoman's locker room.
L: So.... uh....
FW: Look, I'll keep paying you as long as I can. My GNC and Muscle Milk endorsements have nothing to do with RunDEA, so that'll help, some.
L: It's okay, that's not what--
FW: And if worse comes to worse, maybe Chris can put you on his payroll, although I swore to myself I'd never ask him for money.
L: It's not about any of that. I'd work for you for free. Are you going to leave here? I mean, you have to eat, train--
FW: I just got done eating the lunch you brought me. And I'll go train when I know I won't run into any body.
L: Oh...right.
FW: Look, can you just leave me alone right now? I have ... I have a call to make.
L: Oh...sure.....
Lucky leaves. Firewoman, who is still some odd combination of pissed off and zen, gets out her cell phone, and dials. Conveniently, she sets it to speaker phone.
Firewoman sighs.
FW: Alex, it's Fi...it's Lisa. Look, I need to ... oh, never mind.
Firewoman hangs up. There's a knock on the dor
FW: I'm not here.
Lucky: [Through the door] It's me.
FW: Oh. Well, come in.
Lucky comes in, but he's also followed by Alexis Darling, carrying a stack of papers.
FW: Nicely done. Remember when you worked for me Lucky?
Lucky: Very funny. She insisted.
FW: Well, whatever Lexie wants, Lexie gets.
LD: Lucky, can you please leave us alone?
Lucky: I don't think that's a great idea, Ms. Darling. She's still kind of mad.
LD: It'll be fine, Lucky.
Lucky: Okay, but I'll be right outside.
Lucky leaves, but looks at Firewoman and mouths the words "Be nice!" before he shuts the door. Alexis sits down in a chair opposite Firewoman.
FW: You know, you narrowly escaped getting your head slammed through the table yesterday. I wouldn't be tempting fate again if I were you. [looking at the papers] That my payment plan?
LD: No. In fact there is no payment plan. Unbeknownst to me, those costs were already covered by... someone else.
FW: Oh really? Who?
LD: It doesn't matter.
FW: Fine. So... what you got there then?
LD: It's a ... It's a new contract.
FW: Really. Your serious.
LD: Look, I'd really like to get this fixed before Alex gets back and--
FW: Uh-huh. Like he would give a damn.
LD: He would. And Davin... well, he yelled at me and told me to fix it.
FW: Really.
LD: Yes, really. He also called you a quitter.
FW: That sounds about like something he'd say. He can say it all he wants, I'm not sticking around where I'm not wanted.
LD: You know that's not true. Look, I was hung over. I said some things that I didn't mean.
FW: But that's the thing, Lex...Alexis. You did mean it.
LD: ...
FW: ...
LD: Okay, yes. But maybe not the way it came out.
FW: Fair enough. But I'm still not signing anything. Lord knows what kind of strings are attached to this one.
LD: No strings. You can read it yourself. No hidden clauses, no fees or fines. Nothing. Just an agreement.
FW: Well, I'll have Lucky read it. I'm not entirely trusting of you right now.
LD: .....
FW: .....
LD: There is one thing.
FW: I figured.
LD: It's just this. If you sign this....Well, it has to be because you want to.
FW: Huh?
LD: No... No feelings of obligation or that you have to because of ... well, it's just that. We--
FW: We.... Look, I know you're not talking to Alexander right now, and I'm pretty sure Davin isn't in on this 100 percent, so--
LD: Fine, I want you here because you want to be here. Anything other than that, don't bother signing it at all.
Firewoman picks up the papers and flips through them.
FW: I dunno, Alexis. I'm going to really have to think about this. Some things can't be undone. You questioned my loyalty. I don't really take that lightly.
LD: I know. Just think about it, okay?
FW: Okay.
Alexis leaves, and Lucky enters. Firewoman hands him the papers, and the two of them start to go over them together.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:35:10 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Heroes Guild/Revenge of the Nerds lockerroom.*
Nayr: Okay, that lesbian sex between Maria, Maryse and Beth Phoenix was awesome and all, but we still need to talk.
Bryce: What do you want to talk about? The fact that it's your fault we're gonna have that bullshit match for the OOWF Tag Team Title Shot at the pay-per-view- which, I might add, is a foregone conclusion? You're never there to make the save Nayr, you never have my back.
Nayr: That's your problem Bryce, you're always blaming me for everything.
Bryce: It's always your fault Nayr- I'm carrying this team. So it's a wonder that The Rick is so impressed with you. I should already have that title shot, not like it matters anyway.
Nayr: It doesn't matter? Now listen you-
*Concrete TG enters the scene.*
Concrete: Citizens Bryce and Nayr, why the strong words? We must remain united if we wish to bring justice to the OOWF.
Bryce: Oh for Christ's sake. I've been over this before. I'm not a member of your stupid Guild. I have better things to do then play superhero.
Nayr: Yeah right. Like what? Talk to your dear friend "Paul"?
Bryce: I don't want to talk about that.
Concrete TG: You must focus on your upcoming match, Bryce. Lack of preparation is the hero's worst enemy.
Bryce: Like I need to prepare. Damon Wrath has the worst record in the entire OOWF! He'll be easy pickings. Now if you guys'll excuse me, we're out of Mountain Dew.
*Bryce leaves. Nayr and Concrete shoot each other a look, then both go about their business.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:35:41 GMT -5
(GMtR is sitting at his desk, frowning. The camera pans over to reveal one Josh O'Neal...)
JoN: I WANT MY SPOT BACK! That no good ASSHOLE Hansen put me out for too long!
GMtR: Listen, chumpstain. You're out of the OOWF because you were injured, and attacking the Midnight Sons didn't help matters much!
JoN: DON'T TRY TO CONFUSE ME WITH THOSE FLASHBACKS INSIDE OF FLASHBACKS! WHAT I DID WAS RIGHT!
GMtR (getting angry): WHAT YOU DID WAS ASSAULT AN OOWF EMPLOYEE. The ONLY reason why you were allowed to set FOOT in an OOWF Arena is because DARLING hired you and pulled some strings with the owners! I guess it's too bad all hiring decisions are made by me, Potise... now GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
JoN: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! I WILL FIGHT IN THE OOWF AGAIN!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:36:03 GMT -5
Alexis Darling is leaving Rick's Sub Shop with another cup of coffee. She turns the corner and hears a slow clapping sound behind her. She turns around and sees Poe making a show of applauding her.
LD: Wha...what do you want?
Alexis looks like she's not sure if she should stay or throw the coffee at Poe and run for her life.
Poe: My dear Isis...having a rough couple of days?
LD: Do not call me that...ever...again.
Poe grins and walks towards her slowly. Alexis backs up until she encounters the wall. Poe continues to approach her until he's in touching distance. He reaches for the ankh necklace around her neck and takes it, holding it out gently.
Poe: You're still wearing this I see.
LD: It matches my outfit. Nothing more.
Poe grins.
Poe: Yes, it sure seems to. Did FireWoman sign your new contract?
LD: I left it with her. I assume she will.
Poe: *tsk tsk tsk* I taught you better than this Isis. Loyalty based on pen and paper? Really?
LD: This is the real world Poe. People do things the right way, not through fear, innuendo and sex.
Poe: And what world do you live in?
LD: You know what I mean.
Poe: How is brother dear?
LD: Like you care.
Poe: Yeah I really don't.
LD: How's your new slave? At least I was of age. She's jailbait in fourty-nine states. Sorry Tennessee.
Poe leans in close and has a slight menace to his voice now.
Poe: Your concern for my life ended the day you and your bastard brother left me lying in that ring with a shattered leg. If you thing for one miniscule moment I have forgotten any of that or your role in it, you are sadly mistaken. The Boy will pay the ultimate price for his betrayel when I say and his petulant antics will not protect him from living on as borrowed time as I allow him. As for you...well...you do hold a special place in my heart Isis. There may be hope for you...but time is running out for that.
Poe backs up and reaches into his duster. He pulls out a single red rose. He hands it Alexis and after initially hesitating, she takes it. Poe stares at her for a moment with a look that ranges between contempt and admiration before walking away. Once he's out of sight, Alexis slides down the wall, dropping the rose to the floor, remembering days long, long ago...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:36:11 GMT -5
*A few moments later*
Poe enters his locker room. Selena is standing, waiting for him with her hands on her hips.
SG: I totally saw that.
Poe: Saw what?
SG: The thing...with the rose. And bitchwhore.
Poe: Bitchwhore?
SG: There's the Boy and now there's Bitchwhore.
Poe: I like it...so you saw our little exchange?
SG: Yeah dude. From the clapping to the rose. And I'm sure "the clap" is relevent with her.
Poe: Wow, those ninjas are everywhere. Like vermin.
Selena slams into Poe hugging him.
Poe: Selena my goddess, you have nothing to fear. Alexis is down at the moment. Perfect time to reconjure old memories.
SG: So you're not...
Poe touches the side of his nose. Selena stops speaking and grins.
SG: You're evil. I love it.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:37:05 GMT -5
*Bryce Larson is WALKING~! We see Blitz STANDING~! Larson is approaching Blitz, and Blitz stops him when he does.*
Blitz: I have traveled long and far to come back to the OOWF. Word has reached me of a Guild. A Guild of
SYB: NERDS!
*SYB laughs and runs off.*
BL: As I was saying, I
Larson: The Heroes’ Guild. I’m not part of it. What about it?
B: Now I was under the impression
*Concrete TG and Nayr approach the two.*
CTG: Is it an attacker? Stop Nefarious Evildoer, and get away from our Guildmate.
B: I’m not an evildoer, I’m here to
BL: I’m not your
N: Guildmate? Seriously? What about Citizen Indywank or something?
BL: So just because you’re a Citizen means I have to be one too? Guildmate is clearly a higher rank than Citizen, and you’re just jealous.
N: I’m not jealous, I’m sure being a Guildmate is the equivalent of Jobber to the Stars. The guy that gets beat up before the other heroes make the save.
*Bryce Larson and Nayr go off arguing somewhere. Concrete TG tries to say something about unity, but it falls on deaf ears.*
CTG: So do you want an autograph? Or maybe your picture taken with Concrete TG?
B: No. I’ve heard about The Guild, and I feel I have to experience it myself. To fight the evil in the OOWF, and bring good to the masses. I want to join The Heroes’ Guild.
CTG: Hey, aren’t you a heel?
B: Pshhh, this is wrestling. We just retcon it all.
CTG: So you think you can fight alongside the greatest wrestlers in the name of what is right?
B: Who, Nayr and Larson? Sure.
CTG: First of all, you’ll have to prove yourself. If, and only if, you win your match at Mayhem this week, you may join The Heroes’ Guild.
B: I’m facing a jobber. And everybody always wins against a jobber.
CTG: My plan is foiled. You may join The Heroes’ Guild.
B: You had a plan?
CTG: No, not really.
B: Excellent.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:37:30 GMT -5
*Fear Us are taking advantage of a lull in the action at the Destroyitarium to be interviewed by Scheme Gene*
SG: You are facing the Chickenshit Heels this week, but Phantos and Lucios seem quite upset not to be getting a title shot.
LD: Hey, I thought we had our own private interviewer?
OBJ: Oh, the sheila from the office has the day off.
SG: Ahem!
OBJ: Well, I hope Phantos and Lucios enjoyed their little stunt last week, because it's costing them a lot.
SG: I thought you guys would be demanding their reinstatement?
LD: Well, if we were as dumb as Sting, that's what we'd probably be doing.
SG: But what about revenge? Payback?
OBJ: Oh, we'll get around to it in due time. Their debt will be collected and they will fear us!
LD: Speaking of collecting debts, I hear our opponents this week had some bad luck with the football games.
OBJ: Is Mr. Thumbs getting impatient?
LD: Could be.
SG: Gentlemen, who is Mr. Thumbs?
LD: No need for you to know, Gene. Let's just say we might be collecting a lot of debts at Mayhem.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:37:49 GMT -5
Firewoman is still in her locker room, in some state between meditation and chilling. But not quite. She looks at her cell phone to see if there are messages.]
FW: Dammit, Alex....
There is a knock on the door.
FW: Go away.
Voice: Hurry up and open the door.
FW: Oh, what the fuck....
She gets up and opens the door, and Moosehead Jack just barges in to the room.
FW: What the fuck? Get out of here!
MHJ: And stand in the hallway waiting for one of your ex-partners to kill me?
FW: Yeah, that works for me. See ya!
MHJ: I'll go, but first--damn, it smells like hippie in here.
FW: It's the incense. You didn't even bring Starbucks? Definitely, leave.
MHJ: Just a damn minute. I didn't risk--
FW: Oh, please, you didn't risk anything. You know everyone is out.
MHJ: .....
FW: Fine. What?
MHJ: So, have you signed?
FW: Not yet...
MHJ: So you're going to? I can't believe you'd make the same mistake twice.
FW: [Sarcastically] Yeah, some mistake. Onslaught Champion, and now Intercontinental Champ. What could I possibly be thinking? Thank the gods you came to set me straight, Johnnie.
MHJ: ....
FW: Out, out, out!
MHJ: Look. I think if you and I and Poe sat down and--
FW: and Tyson and Tytan attacked me from behind. Great idea, let's do it.
MHJ: They can go away. Seriously, I don't know what the deal is, I mean you never even met him in the ring at all--
FW: There's no "deal," and even if it was it's none of your business.
MHJ: You know there are strings attached with DEA. There always are. We have no strings, no contracts, no--
FW: Yeah, well, don't need strings to end up being someone's puppet.
MHJ: ....
FW: Okay, you've made your point, and you made it without coffee, now go. Besides, Team Aquafina will be back soon.
MHJ: So you'll think about it.
FW: Yes, yes, whatever. Go.
Moose grins, and leaves, after looking up and down the hallway. The door shuts.
FW: I gotta go back to putting curses on that door.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:38:16 GMT -5
<Moose is leaving Firewoman's room and walking through the DEA suites when Alexis Darling walks in muttering to herself and carrying the rose Poe gave her. Alexis sees Moose and gasps, and immediately looks around waiting for an attack. Moose just smirks>
MHJ: Well well, Lexie, it looks like you have seen a ghost
LD: What the hell are YOU doing in here <Alexis keeps glancing at the door like she is waiting for someone>
MHJ: Don't worry Lexie, there is no one else coming. I am just finishing up some.........business with Fire
LD: Some......business? What did she......wait, you are lying.
MHJ: <smirking again> Look Lexie, it doesn't matter. You know what is going on, you can see the writing on the wall. If not, you wouldn't have been in the Destroyitarium
LD: I was just.......I was just having a drink!
MHJ: Of course you were. Look, there is nothing wrong with having options <Moose kneels down and picks up the rose that Alexis dropped and hands it to her> Sometimes the most unexpected options are the ones most worth exploring.
Trust me
<Moose turns and walks away, Alexis stares at him, then falls into one of the overstuffed chairs in a daze>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:38:40 GMT -5
*Run DEA Suites*
Alexis is still sitting in the overstuffed chair while in a daze when her cell phone rings. She sighs before reaching into her pocket and looking at the number. Her eyes get wide as she answers the phone.
Alexis: So, you're talking to me now?
Split-screen...
Alexander You're still my sister and I saw what's been going on. How are you?
Alexis: How the fuck do you think I am Alex?
Alexander: Yea, I expected as much. I can't talk long because there's still a few things I have to do...
Alexis: Then why the fuck did you even bother...
Alexander: Because like I said, you're still my sister and I know what seeing him does to you.
Alexis: Which one?
Alexander: What do you mean which one? I just saw what happened with Poe on OOWF Mobile.
Alexis: Oh, you should be getting another soon. Moose just left the Suites...
Alexander: Wait...Moose...Moosehead Jack was just in our locker room?
Alexis: Technically, he was in Firewoman's locker room. He was just passing through the main suite.
Alexander: Motherfucker...I've left well enough alone for far too long. I'll add it to my to-do list when I get back.
Alexis: So, you are coming back?
Alexander: Oh, I'll be back. That's for sure. And I'll be bringing along the surprise you left at the house.
Alexis: You're not mad I didn't tell you.
Alexander: I was, but I had an interesting conversation with someone. I forgot that what made us so powerful was the fact that we trusted one another without doubt. Over the last few months we lost that complete trust.
Alexis: And you think we can get it back?
Alexander: Lexie, there is no doubt in my mind where your loyalties lie. Stank, Poe, and I guess even Moose can all make their pitches. And you'll listen because as you've taught me, knowledge is power. But the bottom line is that we look out for one another. And I think it's time the OOWF remembered that.
Alexis: What do you have in mind?
Alexander: First, I need to know that what I said goes both ways. I know how I feel, and I think you're with me...
Alexis: Of course I am brother dear. It's just...well, you can be a real asshole and I've been trying to take everything on myself.
Alexander: Yea, I can't really help being an asshole. We'll talk about this more later in the week, but I have to finish something up down here.
Alexis: Are you going to tell me what's been going on?
Alexander: It's a long, long story...
*Fade out on the split-screen*
*Fade in to Alexander Darling wiping blood off his face*
...To Be Continued
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:39:04 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland leaves his suite and sees Alexis Darling just closing her phone.*
DM: Why is Firewoman still here?
LD: What do you mean? She's in her locker room and...
DM: Wrong. Firewoman is in Run DEA's Locker Room. Run DEA owns that. If Firewoman is going to join every-fucking-one-else in this faction and be a petulant child; Firewoman can do it on Firewoman's own property.
LD: Davin. Listen. It was MY fault. *I* fucked up.
DM: Alexis Darling did fuck up. However, Alexis Darling did not light Firewoman's contract on Fire in a childish fit of rage. Firewoman did that. Firewoman wants to be left alone, and then wants to act like a 6-year-old who's needs aren't being met at the same time. Davin Moreland was ecstatic when Davin Moreland realized that Firewoman was part of Run DEA. But by burning that contract, she voided any bond or responsibility that Davin Moreland felt to Firewoman as a teammate. Firewoman wants to quit? Firewoman can quit. Firewoman can also get the fuck out.
LD: Davin, I've given her a new contract to sign.
DM: Davin Moreland doesn't recall being consulted in that decision.
LD: DAVIN MORELAND WASNT FUCKING CONSULTED! That's why.
DM: Davin Moreland is pretty sure there should have been a consultation.
LD: You really can't be serious right now, can you?
DM: You know what? I AM fucking serious, and you know what else, your brother would be saying the same damned thing. You know what ELSE? So would Lucios. She had a fight with you. Fine. So she burns her contract? THAT isn't your fault, that is Firewoman looking for an excuse. And *I* don't need someone who is looking for an excuse to leave watching my back. And I DAMN sure don't need someone watching my back would would be willing to give it all up in a childish fucking snit.
LD: So you don't want her back then? Is that what you're saying?
DM: This has nothing to do with how I feel about Firewoman personally. I like her. I think she's a hell of a wrestler; but you know what? I don't need a quitter watching my back. Not when everyone else goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to watch hers. No thanks. Maybe she can try something else with someone else. Clearly, Run DEA is NOT the fucking place for her.
LD: Well...she has the contracts now.
DM: Then she damn well better sign them, because she's not getting another chance. Oh, and Lexie? Leave me out of another executive decision again, and it won't be just Firewoman leaving. Are we clear?
LD: Where are you going?
DM: I have to go play Davin Moreland for a while. Davin will be taking Beautiful Samantha Darling, and Sam will likely get shitfaced so Davin Moreland will have to carry Samantha home.. So? Good times.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:39:24 GMT -5
(Tytan stands in front of the Ultimo Inc. banner. There is no Steele and no Biggs.)
Tytan: Well here we are with another edition of as the OOWF turns. This is getting ridiculous, what team will Fire side with with Alex Darling return and what Havoc will he bring to the OOWF. Come on this is suppose to be a wrestling federation. Some of these people have titles that are suppose to be wrestled for.
Now, let's get down to business there are suppose to be all these people that are gunning for Firewoman's Title, where the hell are they? I am here to tell you that there is only one person that is the true number one contender for the Intercontinental Title and that is me. So, all of those that claim they want a piece of Fire and take that title you need to wait your turn punks. If you don't agree then step in the ring with me and I will make an example of you. Oh and Cole come Mayhem you will be the first.
So Firewoman you need to realize that the time will come that the only one standing will be the one that's gonna take the title from you hands and it will be me Tytan!!
(Fade Out)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:39:44 GMT -5
<Tytan finishes his promo and starts to walk away when Moosehead Jack steps in front of him>
Tyt: Well, look who it is. Glad you had the time to pull yourself away from Firewoman, the enemy for a moment. What do you want
MHJ: First of all, Firewoman is your enemy, not mine. At least not yet.
Tyt: So are you here to protect her?
MHJ: Not at all. First of all, that would be an insult to her, and second, you wouldn't listen anyway.
Tyt: You are right about that
MHJ: You do what you have to do, just remember, for this week, Tyson is on your side, on OUR side. Your track record with tag team partners is........less than stellar
Tyt: Point taken Moose. Just make sure Kincaid is ready for the match. If he has his head in it, there won't BE a problem. If he doesn't......then he becomes a victim just like anyone who stands between me and Fire.
<Tytan snorts and walks off>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:40:08 GMT -5
(Mr. Biggs is seen talking to someone on his Cell Phone. It is Steele on the other end of the phone.)
Biggs: I don't understand boss. Tytan is not going along with the plan that you laid out. Is there anything you want me to do to remind him of your orders?
Steele: No Biggs let him play with his new friends. I don't trust those two any he will see that they each have their own agendas and once again Tytan will see the light and be the loyal puppet that I know he is.
Biggs: What if Tytan is actually thinking this out on his own?
Steele: Nonsense. That was one of the reasons I chose Tytan for the project.
Biggs: So are you getting some where with the information that I gave you?
Steele: I forgot how beautiful Japan is. I am enjoying this trip in more ways then you can think of. I am making some progress on our lead in the Firewoman mystery.
Biggs: By I still don't understand why you had to go do this one yourself?
Steele: It's all about the money, and I have some other connections that you don't even realize.
Biggs: I see.
Steele: Now keep an eye on Tytan and don't let him get into to much trouble. I have to much time and money invested in him to see him get hurt.
Biggs: I understand. I will talk to you soon.
(He hangs up and walks away looking for Tytan.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:40:44 GMT -5
*Miami International Airport* 48 Hours AgoA luxury jet is landing on an runway on the outskirts of the airport. A ninja cam turns on inside the plane and we hear a loud commotion as the plane comes to a stop. We see Alexander Darling pounding on the cockpit door. The “stewardesses” are all standing behind Alex and gathering the luggage as the cockpit door opens and the pilot steps out. Alexander: Why the fuck have we been circling for the past hour?Pilot: Because there was police activity where we were scheduled to land.Alexander: I don’t care what was going on down there. My family owns this airport. We can land anywhere we please. Remember that next time.Pilot: Yes sir, Mr. Darling.Blonde #2: Alex, we can go now.Alexander: We? You’re joking right. You ladies were a nice perk for the flight, but the flights over and I’m done with you.Alexander takes his bag from one of the brunettes and heads out the door. He makes his way down the steps and looks in the distance where he sees the police activity. He looks down and sees his family’s driver waiting for him next to a limousine. He tosses his bag over towards the driver before walking over towards the police activity. He approaches this man and taps him on the shoulder. Horatio Cane: Well, well, well…little Alex. Must be nice to be home like my Darling Clementine…Alexander: Oh for the love of everything, Horatio, shut the fuck up.Horatio: How dare you? I am a member of the Dade County…Alexander: And I remember when you were my brother’s lackey.Horatio: It did have its perks. How is that ass of Samantha’s?Alexander: That’s funny Cane. I’ll be sure to pass on that message. And I guess I can pass this on as well…Alexander kicks Horatio in the gut. And he waits for Horatio to stand back up straight before he grabs him around the neck…SOMEWHAT DECENT DIAMOND CUTTER on the concrete. Davin Moreland says to never talk about Samantha again. Davin Moreland would do worse if he were here personally. Alexander Darling is telling Horatio Cane to let this be the end of it.Darling spits on Cane before walking away…just as he’s about to get into the limo he turns back towards Horatio. And just so we’re speaking the same language…BOOYAH, Bitch!*Slow Fade* 44 Hours AgoLimo Driver: Mr. Darling, we’ve arrived at the house.Alexander: Thanks Rufus. Bring my bag up to room if you will. I’ll be in in a few minutes.Alexander slowly gets out of the limo and turns to face the house. Just as he’s about to take a step towards it, Spencer is jumping into his arms. Spencer: Hey big brother. I can’t believe you’re home. I haven’t seen you in forever.Alexander: I needed to get away from here. You know how it was.Spencer: I do, but what are you getting away from now?Alexander: I told you I didn’t want or expect a lecture, didn’t I Spence?Spencer: But you need one.Alexander: Fine. Whatever. You can lecture me later.Spencer: There’s something else we need to talk about.Alexander: Can it just wait? I’m exhausted and I just want to get some rest.Spencer: But…fine. Please make sure you see me as soon as you wake up. It’s really important.Alexander nods as he heads inside the house and right up to his room. Spencer waits to make sure he went right to his room before heading downstairs into the gym area. The first thing Spencer sees when she walks in is this: Hey Ashley, don’t say anything about you know who. I think I’m being followed.Ashley: But you should have seen him. Very chiseled. It’s very nice.Spencer: And here I thought you liked my body.Ashley: Oh you know I do. Anyways, how did he take the news?Spencer: …Ashley: Don’t tell me you didn’t tell him.Spencer: He looked so tired. I’ll tell him as soon as he wakes up. I swear.Unknown Voice: So he doesn’t know I’m here.Spencer: Not yet. I promise I’ll tell him.Voice: It’s okay. I’m just thinking we probably shouldn’t have kept this from him. There was no need.Spencer: He wouldn’t have accepted it then. And I’m not even sure he’ll accept it now.Voice: He will. He knows it’s the best play.Spencer: I hope you’re right.Voice: Me too…but Alexis thought this through really well. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.Spencer and Ashley just nod as the voice stays just off camera. *Slow Fade* 34 Hours AgoInside Alexander’s bedroom we see him just beginning to wake up. Knock, knock…Alexander: Go away Spencer. I’m still sleeping.Knock, knock…I said go away.… Knock, knock.Fine, come in…Alexander rolls over and looks up towards the door. He jolts out of bed and gets into a defensive position. What the fuck are you doing here?Voice: I think it’s time we talk.Alexander: Why would I want to talk with…The camera is just about to turn towards our unexpected visitor when something flies out of his hand and hits the camera. It turns to static and it only picks up the very last few words. Voice: All planned by Alexis…*Fade* …To Be Continued
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:41:17 GMT -5
Chris Evans is WALKING down the Hallway of Random Encounters, when he finds “The Main Event” Chris Cole.
Evans: Hey man, maybe you can help me. I’m looking for some guy named Chris Cole.
Cole: That’s me, what the hell do you want?
Evans: Cut the attitude, alright. I’m apparently your partner this week. Would’ve been nice if I had someone who actually has a winning record, but I’ll take what I can get.
Cole: Shut the fuck up! You have no idea who you’re messing with. I’m the Main Event!
Evans: Yeah, that’s why GM The Rick teamed you up with a newbie.
Cole: Oh fuck you!
Evans: Hey relax man, I’m just having some fun with you. So anyway, since you’ve got a lot more experience in this company than I do, maybe you can help me out in figuring out how tough our opponents are. I already know how tough Tytan is since he had one hell of a match with Firewoman last week, but I have no idea how tough this Tyson Kinkaid guy is.
Cole: Kincaid may have a losing record, but don’t let that fool you. That guy can go in the ring, which is to be expected from a guy who was trained by Lance Storm.
Evans: No kidding, I was trained by Lance Storm myself. Looks like I’ve got my hands full. No problem though, I live for this shit.
*Fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:41:51 GMT -5
*South Beach, Miami* 28 Hours AgoThe camera turns on the image we all see is this . The two girls look to be quite comfortable under the hot Miami sun as they seem to be having quite a bit of fun…at least until a whole bunch of sand is kicked their way. Spencer: Damn it Alex, why do you have to be such a butt munch?Ashley just turns to look at her girlfriend while Alex looks down at the two of them. Ashley: Butt munch? Really?Alexander: And here I thought you were a good influence on her. I knew I should have just given in to your advances when they were there.Ashley: You so wish.Spencer: He’s just jealous.Ashley: Of who though…Spencer: …Alexander: …Spencer: …Ashley: Right, I forgot, ixnay on the cestinay.Spencer: Anyways, I’m assuming you’re not mad since you haven’t killed me yet. Or gotten on a plane to kill Alexis.Alexander: I have to admit, it was going to be the second thing I did before…Spencer: SHHHHHH!!!!!!Ashley: Ninja cams over there and I think there and there.Alexander: God damn, it’s almost impossible to find time alone. Thanks for the heads up. But yea, after the initial shock and by the time we kicked each other’s ass enough for me to listen some stuff got through to me.Spencer: Like what?Alexander: Well, if you must know little miss nosy; I stopped trusting Alexis a few months ago. Right after she left me and I became this whining bitch.Spencer: You know she didn’t leave you.Alexander: I get that…or at least I thought I did. But I guess it took a unique perspective to open my eyes. It’s time to stop letting things happen to myself. Time to make things happen.Suddenly a large shadow looms over the three as they lay on the beach. Alexander turns and looks up to see . Alexander: Ahh man, what the fuck do you want Crock?Crockett: We heard what happened with you and Cane yesterday. You know we can’t let shit like that happen.Tubbs: Yea man, and Tubbs don’t play that.Alexander: First of all, go snort some more coke Crockett. Second of all, you’re not Homey the Clown Tubbs. And third of all, before you forget, my last name is Darling. That’s D*A*R*L*I*N*G* and if you’d like to keep your jobs, it’s time to turn around.Spencer: Alex, just let it go.Crockett: No Spence…you should let him continue, this way we can take you in and give you a full body…Ashley: Fuck you asshole.Tubbs: That’s it…assaulting a police officer.Tubbs reaches down to grab Ashley and haul her to her feet, but Ashley rolls out of the way just as Alexander picks up a handful of sand and tosses it into Crockett’s eyes. Alexander kips up to his feet and plants his elbow to the back of Tubbs’ head. As Tubbs falls to the ground Alexander lashes out with a kick that lands square in his chest. Alex tries to reach down for Tubbs but Crockett tackles him from behind. Crockett gets in a few punches to Alex’s face and there is the usual sickening crunch from a broken Darling nose. After a few punches Alex finally flips Crockett over and knees him right in the leg. Alexander fights to his feet and just as Crockett is about to follow, Darling lashes out with a field goal style kick that lands crisp to Crockett’s face. He’s about to go back after him when he’s spun around by Tubbs. Reflexively Darling throws an elbow to Tubbs face that staggers him back and you can see Alex get a look that says “fuck it” and he kicks Tubbs in the stomach. He picks Tubbs up onto his shoulders… He’s not going to… Yes he is… DARLING DRIVER on the beach. And Tubbs is down. Crockett is just about to get to his feet when he looks over and sees Spencer and Ashley kicking at him to keep him down. Alexander: Ahh, it’s always good to see my family sticking together. Spencer, you know that thing you’ve seen me and Lexie do.Spencer: Yea…you don’t…really, I can?Alexander: Sure…You can see a big smile cross Spencer’s face as Ashley keeps kicking to make sure he stays down. Spencer gets behind him and picks up his legs and locks them up…she has him in position for…she picks him up by the arms…she’s not…she is… Spencer, duck NOW…Alexander takes a running start and jumps over his sister…MOTHERFUCKING BEACHSTOMP. Spencer drops Crockett’s arms and gets down low next to him… Spencer: Remember the golden rule…Do Not Fuck With The Darlings.
Oh, and BOOYAH, Bitch!Alexander starts to laugh when another hand taps him on the shoulder. He’s about to lash out again when he pulls back at the last instant. Alexander: Holy shit…Dex, how the fuck are ya?Dexter: I’m good Alex. I see you’ve been keeping up with old times.Alexander: Yea, about that…do ya think you could?Dexter just looks at Alex… Dexter: You know me…I love cleaning up after the Darlings. Besides, I think these two have been up to no good anyway.Alex finally realizes what’s in Dexter’s hand. Alexander: Right then, we’ll just be on our way then. Good seeing you Dex. I’ll tell Alexis you said hi.Dexter just nods as he looks down at the beaten bodies of Crockett & Tubbs. Alexander grabs his sister and Ashley as they quickly leave the beach area. Ashley: Who was that?[/b] Alexander: You really don’t want to know. Spence, you know to stay away…Spencer: Of course Alex. You and Lexie have always told me he’s a last resort.Alex just nods as he opens the doors to one of the family’s cars as they head back home.[/i] *Slow Fade* 20 Hours AgoVoice: Have you seen what’s been going on back in Springfield?Alexander: Do I even want to know?Voice: I think you should check out OOWF Mobile. I’ll be getting ready to leave.Alexander: This is the last and only time I’ll be saying this, but thanks. For setting me straight.Voice: You and yours have been good to me. I didn’t wanna see that ruined.Alexander just nods as we can only see the back of the mysterious person walk away. He flips open his laptop and starts taking in the happenings of the OOWF. He sees Alexis go on her bender…and everything else. Finally he sees the moment where Poe left Alexis sitting on the floor in the hallway before he’s had enough and dials his sister’s number. *Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:42:19 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline is lining up a putt on some unnamed, gorgeous golf course, presumably somewhere in the Tropics. He stands up from his kneeling position, and just as he begins his backswing, his cell phone rings.]
JA: AHHHHH HORSESHIT!!!
[Johnny grabs his phone, checks the caller ID, then sighs in disgust before answering.]
JA: Scaia... this better be good.
[It's one of the "real life" phone conversations where we can only hear one side.]
JA: That was pretty good, wasn't it?.......
JA: I liked the part where that one jabroni guy....
JA: That wasn't....
JA: Hey now....
JA: Oh come on, Rick! That's not...
JA: That's not fair!!......
JA: Just so you know, you're fucking this all up, ya know?............
JA: Okay, fine! It'll NEVER happen again.......
JA: Bye.
[Johnny hangs the phone up and holds it intently in his hand]
JA: Well... Alan... you're gonna love this one. [turning around to the guys in the fairway] WHY DON'T YOU SMOKE ANOTHER CIGAR OR SOMETHING? I'LL BE OFF THE GREEN IN A MINUTE!
[Johnny speed dials AA as we fade to black.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:42:38 GMT -5
**Fear Us are still sitting in the Destroyitarium, watching OOWF TV and drinking.**
OBJ: “Like sands through the hourglass…”
LDW: “Amen.”
**Williams’ cell phone rings.**
LDW: “Williams…A pleasure Mr. Neck. Ma’s told me a lot about you…Well, not that much…So, what can I….We are, yes…Well there’s a few others in line, but I’m sure we can work something out…Will do.”
**Williams hangs up.**
OBJ: “Another one? How many bookies can one guy have?”
LDW: “Seventeen, apparently.”
OBJ: “How much does he owe this guy?”
LDW: “Nothing, yet. Seems AA took some dark horses in the opening rounds of the Punster of the Year Tournament. Unless murgen and flashdragon91 start getting some serious votes, we’ll be adding Mr. Neck to our list of employers.”
OBJ: <belches>“Australian for ‘The more the Merrier’”
LDW: “Not for AA.”
OBJ: “Shhh – I think Alex is going to promo again.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:43:13 GMT -5
FF Capslock walks into a hospital room and sees this woman on the bed.FF- Melissa! What happened? Melissa- I was pushed down the stairs. FF- No! Who did this to you? I swear I'll take revenge on them! Melissa- There's more...I lost the baby. FF- I...I didn't even know you were pregnant. Melissa- I didn't want to distract you. I know you have that big match for the Intercontinental Championship coming up. FF- Listen...no title match will ever be more important than you. Melissa- I just wanted you to know that I love... She dies. FF Capslock weeps over her dead body until his sister Nikki Capslock enters.Nikki- She didn't make it? FF- No, dear sister, she didn't. I will get revenge on who did this. Nikki- I know who's responsible. FF- You do!? As God is my witness, I will kill him who was it!? Nikki- I can't tell you. But I can tell you this: it wasn't a himfade...to be continued
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:43:42 GMT -5
We cut to a fairly nice backstage area, with a table set up (uh oh) and a podium. Firewoman and Alexis Darling are standing there, with SFJ#420 and assorted members of the Apter-mag media. One can barely make out Moosehead Jack in the bacground.
FW: Is this really necessary, Alexis?
AD: No, it should be in the ring, but you refused.
FW: I don't see why we need all this.
AD: Because we do. [Alexis turns towards Moonbeam and the media] I would like to welcome you all to today's contract signing. [There is a murmer in the crowd, and Moose crosses his arms and looks some combination of disappointed and angry.] That's right, the rumors are true, Firewoman is re-signing with DEA, after some lengthy renegotiating.
SFJ#420: So there are no hidden fees for early termination, or any other funny business?
FW: Damn, where did you learn the fancy words?
AD: No, none of that. All penalties have been stripped. What remains is simply an agreement of understanding that DEA will manage Firewoman's career, her royalties from merchandising, her endorsements.
FW: And....
AD: [Rolls her eyes....] Fine. We have also added a clause specifying that DEA will play no role in dictating with whom Firewoman chooses to spend her time.
Firewoman smiles. The crowd murmers some more. Moose raises an eyebrow.
AD: Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, it is time to sign.
Alexis Darling takes a gold pen and signs her portions of the contract, and initials here, here, and here. She smiles and hands the forms to Firewoman, who takes them, and the pen, and looks at them for a bit.
FW: You know, Alexis. We've known each other a long time. We've been through wars together, with your brother, that some of the folks around here can't even imagine. It should really be unecessary to put these sentiments in writing this way. It seems so cold. So calculating. So....sterile.
The crowd murmers, and Moose sits up in his seat. Alexis looks nervously about, and covers her mic, but you can still barely pick up the words
AD: What the fuck are you doing?
FW: What this really is about, is loyalty. Now, loyalty isn't a by-product of obligation. I don't hang around someplace just cos I feel I owe it to the place. That would be obligation. Loyalty is different however. Loyalty is earned. Loyalty is created. It is born out of shared experiences, of helping and being helped. Of fighting together, bleeding together, and yes, maybe even crying together. True loyalty cannot be ... it can't be created by scratching some ink on a page....
Alexis is starting to get pissed off. Moose is looking amused, and the media is abuzz. Moonbeam has snuck off for some chocolate donuts.
FW: Let's take...well, let's take you and me, Alexis. The whole reason this came about was that because, like many people who have known each other for a while, you and I know exactly how to push each other's buttons. And we can be honest with each other. For example, you can be yourself with me. You can be [and she gets right up close into Alexis's face] an evil, manipulative, lying bitch, that truly can't be trusted any farther than I can throw you.
Alexis is furious. She backs off a bit, but still maintains her space. Moose is ... is that a smile?
FW: Fortunately..... fortunately. I can throw pretty damn far. So I'm signing my name to this. Not because I have to, because Alexis, Alexander, and I ... well, they've had my back more times than I can count. And hopefully I've repaid that in kind.
Alexis sighs with relief and nods. Moose's "smile" turns into a scowl.
FW: My signing in this is strictly symbolic. The true agreements were signed in blood and sweat, years ago. In many ways, the Darlings have been like family to me. In fact, I can honestly say, they've been better at that than my own family ever EVER was, or ever will be.
She grabs the pen again and signs with a flourish. Moose's scowl turns into a snarl, and he stalks off angrily, fists clenched. Firewoman looks up to the photographers and she and Lexie embrace.
FW: Now that that is taken care of, I do have one further thing to add. FF Capslock, or whatever your name is these days. I know many of the folks in the locker room have been having a bit of fun at your expense, pretending to not remember you, and I joined in on that. But trust me, I remember you. I remember you trying to get my partner, Alexander Darling, to turn on me. And you almost got him to do it too. But he didn't. Know why? Little thing called "loyalty." That doesn't mean the attempt has gone unnoticed. I got a long memory. Just ask Tyson. And I plan to tap into that memory at Mayhem. So be ready.
However, Firewoman should have probably taken her own advice in that regard, as from somewhere behind them, FF Capslock comes out of nowhere and nails her in the back of the head with a very heavy catering tray, re-opening one of the smaller cuts from her recent dealings with Tytan. Firewoman goes down in a heap, as Alexis Darling jumps back out of the way. FF stands over Firewoman, yelling incoherently at her about... something. Alexis looks around for a bit, then leaps towards FF, grabbing him from behind, and yanking him around into a corkscrew neckbreaker. She helps Firewoman up, and the two women start to get FF into position for a slam through the table, but then Stank, Spin, LD Williams, and Outback Jack come around the corner. The media has scattered at this point, so Alexis and a somewhat reluctant Firewoman decide that five-on-two are not good odds (with Fire needing to be convinced of this by Alexis), beat feet out of there
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