|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 31, 2009 22:42:19 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Illinois
<we cut to the ring where GM the Rick is standing with a mic. The camera pans out a little and we see all the OOWF superstars gathered on the stage looking somber.>
GM the Rick: Ladies and Gentlemen before we get started the OOWF would like to pay their respects to one of their fallen comrades. It was recently reported that Conrad “SD Jones” Efraim passed away some months ago. The OOWF would like to wish the Conrad’s family and friends the best. SD will always be in our thoughts
<with that, the OOWF Job Squad streams out from the back and surrounds the ring. As the bell begins to sound, they all drop to one knee as a sign of respect to their fallen brother>
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
[ding]
CHRIS EVANS & THE DEAD vs. PERRY WILLIAMS & JORDAN MICHAELS
Perry “The Icebox” Williams and Jordan Michaels are the Windy City Championship Wrestling world tag team champions. They come to the ring and the crowd cheers the local boys loudly. Their opponents are announced, first out is Chris Evans, who gets a decidedly mixed reaction from the fans. Next out, making his OOWF return, is The Dead. He gets booed loudly, but completely ignores the crowd and they make their way to the ring. The Dead looks to start things off against the mammoth Perry Williams. The bell rings and they lock up in the center of the ring and Williams shoves The Dead to the mat, the plays to the crowd a bit. Big mistake. The Dead kips up and ducks a clothesline attempt from Williams and catches him with a spinning heel kick to the face that staggers the big man. He grabs Perry and sends him to the ropes, then drop toe holds him and leaves him hanging on the middle rope, then spring boards over the top rope and drops a leg across the back of Williams head. Perry rolls back into the ring, and The Dead covers, but Perry kicks out with authority at two. Dead reaches out and tags in Evans, then gets on his hands and knees as Williams gets to his feet. Evans springs to the top rope and catches Perry with a missile drop kick to the mouth, and Williams staggers back and falls over The Dead. Evans gets to his feet and immediately hits a spring board lionsault, covers, and gets another two count. Evans pulls Williams to his feet and throws him over the top rope but Williams lands on his feet, and when Evans turns back around, Williams launches himself over the top rope and DRILLS Evans with a shoulder block, sending him across the ring. Williams tags in Michaels, and he pulls Evans to his feet, scoops him up and DRIVES him to the mat with a sit out power slam, then climbs to the top rope and LEAPS getting impossible air, trying for a leg drop, but Evans rolls out of the way, and quickly tags in The Dead. The two men wait, and as Michaels gets to his feet and turns around Evans and The Dead hit the EYE OF THE STORM and CLOSE THE CASKET! Michaels collapses to the mat, and Williams runs in and they BLAST the big man with the same, he staggers to the ropes and Evans charges at him and takes him over the top rope with a clothesline. Evans waits for Williams to get to his feet on the outside, when he does, he runs across the ring, leaps to the top rope, jumps in the air, spins around, lands back on the ropes, then moonsaults to the outside and takes Williams out. Inside the ring, The Dead grabs Michaels by the legs and locks him in the Death lock! Michaels tries to fight it, but after a few seconds of excruciating pain, he taps out.
WINNERS in 3:51 – The Dead & Chris Evans
<SFJ#101 is in the back, with Davin Moreland and Bryce Larson.>
SFJ#101: Davin & Bryce, tonight you both embark on your journey as tag team partners. You face The Hometown Heroes tonight--
DM: Davin Moreland is confused. I assumed Single Female Journalist number 101 would have mentioned opponents Davin Moreland had heard of.
SFJ#101: I'm terribly sorry Mr. Moreland, but that's what the format says.
DM: Right. Davin Moreland is ready to dispose of Mr. and Mr. Hero, and will head into tonight's main event with plenty of momentum.
BL: You damn right! Tonight is just the beginning...the beginning of a beautiful--and fruitful--partnership. Davin? Let's hit the ring and get this done.
DM: And Poe the Kid Toucher? Don't think Davin Moreland hasn't forgotten about tonight's main event. This is merely a warm-up.
BRYCE LARSON & DAVIN MORELAND vs. "THE HOMETOWN HEROES" MIKEY & DOUG E. SPRINGFIELD
The HH made their way out during the promo, and are followed by the newest team in the OOWF. The bell rings, and Bryce starts off with Mikey. Davin Moreland wastes no time…in joining the commentary table?
Russ: Razz, we have an unexpected guest on commentary, the OOWF World Champion Davin Moreland.
Razz: That's ri--
Davin Moreland: Davin Moreland has heard enough. Let's watch as Bryce Larson easily wins this match for us.
Bryce dropkicks Mikey into the corner, followed up by two super kicks! Shinobi’s Rage!! Bryce moves in for the kill as he looks to complete Shinobi’s Rage.
Doug E. steps in and eats the third super kick for Mikey. With both Springfield brothers down, Bryce signals for Davin to come in.
Davin: Obviously Bryce Larson wants Davin Moreland to enter the ring and show off one of Bryce Larson & Davin Moreland's superior double team moves.
Bryce ascends to the top rope, and Davin throws him off for a Missile Launcher (rocket launcher into a missile dropkick) on Doug E. as he gets to his feet. Davin picks Doug E. up and tosses him, leaving Mikey. Davin nails Mikey with a DAMN GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, leaving him lying on the mat. Bryce sits on the top turnbuckle, and Davin climbs up, looking like he'll superplex Bryce. Instead, Davin takes him over and releases Bryce into an assisted 450 Splash. Cover, 1...2...3!
WINNERS in 3:45 - Bryce Larson & Davin Moreland
As soon as the announcement is made, the lights go out in the arena! "For Whom The Bell Tolls" plays in the arena, and about 30 seconds later, the lights are back on. We see Bryce standing in the ring, with Poe behind him. Davin has made his way to the floor, and is livid! Bryce turns around, and Poe lifts him up for the Exploder Suplex! Poe points to Davin, then hoists Bryce up and connects with the Crucifixion! Bryce is lying in the ring, and Davin is frantically trying to get him out. Poe slowly makes his way to the floor, staring down Davin before he makes his way to the back. Davin gets in the ring, looks at Bryce, then lifts Bryce up onto his shoulder (and puts his OOWF World Title on the other shoulder) and carries him to the back.
SPIN HANSEN vs. JOSH O’NEAL
YOUR referee for this match is Junior Hale!
The match opens with Spin Hansen, dressed as Voldsohmet and in full face paint, walking through the crowd. He has a look of pure determination on his face, barely noticing the fans that he passes through. Next up is Josh O'Neal, coming down the ramp to a HUGE chorus of boos.
The bell rings and the two big men stare each other down. Josh tries getting up into Spin's face and shoves him, and Spin is having none of it... he kicks O'Neal in the midsection and goes to hit a jawbreaker but gets countered! The two do a few lockups to try to show who has the biggest set of stones, but neither man is gaining much of an advantage, and Spin is FRUSTRATED. He hip tosses O'Neal and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Angry about this, O'Neal kicks the steps, grabs them, and tries to charge Spin but Hale steps in the way warning O'Neal not to use them OR hit him or its CURTAINS. Spin climbs back up and hits O'Neal with a charging boot, throws him back into the ring, and POWERBOMB! That gets a two count. Spin goes for a rabbit punch and connects. O'Neal DROPS and again rolls out to the relative safety outside the ring as Hale starts a ten-count. Spin goes to follow but O'Neal grabs him by the boots and DRAGS him to the floor. O'Neal whips Spin into the steps and begins to work over Spin’s midsection by ramming it into the post. Hale again breaks the two up and warns Josh O'Neal. Spin suddenly stands stalk-still and starts chanting something, looking as though he's trying to focus and gain an edge. He starts pounding on O'Neal but O'Neal isn't backing down. The two trade blows until Spin hits a European uppercut and Josh backs down, but comes back with a power slam. That gets 2. O'Neal tries to wear Spin down with a bear hug but Spin powers out... that doesn't discourage O'Neal, though. After another exchange of blows Josh battles back and puts him back into the hold. Spin escapes by RAMMING O'Neal against the ring post and then going for a CHOKESLAM! He connects, but again only gets a TWO! Spin looks VERY distracted and out of it-- he's obviously running on empty. Spin goes for a running clothesline but O'Neal counters and THROWS SPIN OUT OF THE RING ONTO THE BARRICADE! Spin is BLEEDING. O'Neal takes full advantage of this and attacks the open wound! He grabs the ring steps to smash Spin in the head but Spin grabs the steps and throws them away... RIGHT INTO JUNIOR HALE! Hale is OUT! Spin sees this and grabs his CROWBAR and NAILS O'Neal in the kneed. O'Neal goes down! Spin sees this and STOMPS ON O'NEALS DAMAGED KNEE! Josh YOWLS with pain as the crowd cheers. Spin throws O'Neal back into the ring and hits SPINAL JUSTICE but there’s no ref. Spin slumps into the corner to catch his breath as O'Neal lies prone. Mel Creech comes out to the ring and Spin tries to cover... but O'Neal kicks out at TWO! O'Neal hits a spine buster and covers, but Spin kicks out at 2. Spin hits a DDT and then goes for a JAEGER BOMB, but O'Neal escapes and WHIPS Spin into the ref. Creech goes DOWN! O'Neal grabs a chair and SMACKS Creech in the head to make sure he stays down and goes for a running chair shot to Spin, but Hansen boots the chair into his face! Now Spin gives Josh a pair of chair shots. BOTH MEN ARE BLEEDING!. Spin boots O'Neal and goes for a CHAIR-ASSISTED TOP ROPE LEGDROP! The ref is STILL down but it looks like all Spin cares about is crippling O'Neal! Spin signals for the finish and lifts Josh up for the HAIR OF THE DOG but Josh COUNTERS INTO THE OSAKA STREET CUTTER! Spin's DOWN and the referee is OUT! O'Neal is going under the ring apron... HE'S GOT A BOX OF FLOURESCENT LIGHT TUBES! HE SHATTERS them all on Spin's prone form, and Spin is a BLOODY MESS! Angelo Barros comes running down the ramp and Spin is trying to struggle to stand up... Barros is about to call for the bell, but O'Neal scoops Spin up and hits THE OBLITERATOR! Josh makes the quick pin... ONE. TWO. THREE! JOSH O'NEAL HAS DEFEATED SPIN HANSEN AND IS BACK IN THE OOWF!
WINNER in 15:04 – Josh O’Neal
O'Neal is celebrating in the ring while Spin struggles to pull himself into the corner and has a look of shock that he lost so badly to the man who betrayed him so long ago. O'Neal ignores Spin and grabs a mic from the ring announcer, and starts talking...
"ALL OF YOU FUCKERS, LISTEN UP. JOSH O'NEAL IS BACK! I BEAT THAT WASTE OF LIFE HANSEN FAIR AND SQUARE! I PUT HIS LIGHTS OUT! I'M BETTER THAN HIM, AND I'M GOING TO TAKE THE OOWF BY STORM! NOW, RICK... GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE AND GIVE ME MY CONTRACT!"
<The Rick comes to the top of the ramp, giving a slow clap.>
"Well, Potsie... I have to say that I'm shocked. I didn't think that you had it in you to be a man who can't win a match to SAVE HIS LIFE. I don't know WHO on the Booking Committee you blew to get this against Hansen, but congratulations nonetheless. Come and sign your contract."
O'Neal runs from the ring to the ramp, ecstatic at his big OOWF return. He grabs the contract from The Rick, signs it, throws the pen down, and yells
"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, YOU LITTLE SHITSTAIN?"
The Rick’s face lights up in a huge smile. "Shitstain, Josh? You're a helluvalot more stupid than I thought. Truck Monkeys, zoom in on Section 14 of the contract!
Section 14: At no time shall the undersigned demean, belittle, mock, insult, assault, aggravate, or otherwise annoy the General Manager, his assistant, or any OOWF production staff. Any violation of this section will result in immediate termination.
GMtR: Congratulations, you BIG shitstain. Your comeback lasted all of forty-five seconds. YOU'RE FIRED! GET THE HELL OFF OF MY STAGE!"
JoN: NO FUCKING WAY.
GMtR: Yes fucking way. Now leave before I call the police.
JoN: Come on! I EARNED this! Maybe I got a LITTLE carried away…..
<GM the Rick ponders for a moment>
GMtR: Fine. I’ll tell you what. I will give you a spot in the OOWF invitational. You lose a match though, and you are GONE! Got it? Good
The camera pans to the ring, as Spin gets up from the corner and starts making his way to the ropes to slide away in defeat. He takes a few steps and then... collapses? He's clutching his throat in pain!
Suddenly, the crowd's attention turns back to the OOTron. A large cloaked figure stands behind The Rick and the stunned Josh O'Neal. His (or her) face is obscured completely and the crowd knows who it is... the Shadowed Figure who formerly served as Spin's advisor and trainer who Spin abandoned in December!
JO: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? YOU'D BETTER NOT BE TRYING TO TAKE THE SPOT THAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE!
The figure ignores him and starts walking toward the ring. O'Neal shoves him, and the cloaked man turns toward him. Josh goes to shove him again, and the figure BLASTS him with a barbed wire baseball bat! O'Neal is DEAD!
The figure walks toward and enters the ring, produces a microphone from his cloak, and starts speaking in a slow monotone.
SF: Hansen! You didn't listen to me when I told you that you would lose everything, and now look at you! You're the laughingstock of the OOWF because YOU COULDN'T FOLLOW THE EMPTY TEAM WAY! Now we do things MY way. Like we did before. Like you should have.
(The camera pans over to Spin's face, strained in pain but otherwise unreadable. Suddenly, the arena goes completely black! The lights come up a few seconds later, and there's no trace of either Spin Hansen or the cloaked man!)
Russ: BAH GAWD, THEY'VE VANISHED! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY SIXTY YEARS OF BROADCASTING, FOLKS!
Razz: You're only in your seventies, you idiot! I don't know why I still work with you...
Russ: And on to our next match!
PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. MATTE & DAMON WRATH
Matte and Damon Wrath come to ringside first, soaking in the cheers of the Springfeildians. Phantos & Lucios are introduced next, and with entrance music this time! The referee pats down all four competitors, and calls for the bell.
Big man standoff gets things going. Lucios and Damon lock up and push each other back and forth between the neutral corners. They push each other away and circle the ring again. Lucios calls for a test of strength, and Damon tentatively complies. They go chest to chest and again, neither man gains an advantage. Again, they break their hold and square off. Damon comes in again to lock up, and Lucios ends this madness with a kick to the gut. Forearms to the back and a running knee lift take Damon to the mat. Lucios drops 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 big elbows in quick succession before reaching out to tag in Phantos.
Phantos vaults into the ring, hits the ropes and baseballs slide dropkicks Damon as he was trying to get to his feet. Damon tumbles into the corner. Phantos stands and waits for him to get back up. Damon charges, and gets arm dragged across the ring. Wrath pops up and charges again, this time eating a hip toss into his own corner. Matte tags himself in, Phantos charges in, and grabs a headlock. Matte reverses into a hammerlock. Phantos reverses that and grabs another headlock. Matte hits a belly to back suplex. Phantos rolls over, still cinching the headlock. Matte and Phantos make their way back on their feet, Phantos still cinching in the headlock. Matte sends him off into the ropes. Matte drops down and Phantos leapfrogs him and goes off the opposite ropes. Matte hip tosses Phantos down and grabs an arm bar. Phantos back flips out of the arm bar and sends Matte to the ropes. Matte ducks the clothesline attempt, hits the opposite ropes, and flies off with a body press. Phantos rolls thru the pin attempt and quickly pops up on his feet. Matte is up too and they circle each other and the crowd attempts some lame chant. Matte goes to lock up with Phantos, and he kicks matte in the gut, doubling him over. Gut-Wrench suplex. Standing Moonsault for a 2 count. Tag in the Lucios, and the Division Killers hit a double suplex. Wrath is in to even the score, and spears Phantos; both men tumbling out of the ring.
Lucios whips Matte around the ring, leveling him with a back elbow. He hoists him up. BORDER TOSS into the corner. Matte crumples in his corner and appears to be out. Damon is up and tags himself in. Lucios charges and Damon is ready, stopping Lucios in his tracks with a relentless barrage of lefts and rights. Standing belly-to-belly suplex. Damon drops a huge leg and covers Lucios for a 2 count. Phantos scurries in and breaks up the pin. Damon kicks Phantos to the mat, only to be nailed from behind with a Mafia kick. Lucios lifts Damon up and hits all three courses of Suplex School. After the Gordbuster, Lucios tags in Phantos, who climbs to the top and flies off, hitting a twisty, flippy senton frog splash. Phantos bounces off and scurries over for the pin. 1…2…and matte is back to his feet and hits a lung blower. Tiger bomb. CATTLE MUTILATION! Matte calls for the Nevermind DDT, but Lucios levels him from behind. Quickly, Lucios latches on the DEATHGRIP on Matte, and after 20 seconds of agony, Matte taps out.
WINNERS, in 8:31, Phantos & Lucios
CHRIS COLE vs. FF CAPSLOCK
“Master of Puppets” echoes through the arena, and Chris Cole begins his entrance. The crowd cheers. He makes his way to the ring, still unaccustomed the accolades, and grabs a mic, as per his custom.
CC: Helloooooo Springfield!
The crowd gives the obligatory cheap pop.
CC: Normally, I’d spend this time dissing your town, but I would rather spend this valuable time talking about my opponent. FF Capslock. Caps is new to the OOWF, and we welcome—
FF: No I am not!!
“For Those About to Rock” fires up after Caps interrupts Cole’s monologue. He comes flying down the ramp and slides into the ring, shoving Cole. Cole drops the microphone, and looks at Caps like “Oh no you did NOT just do that!” And he shoves Caps. Caps shoves Cole again, and the referee decides this match is about to start, and calls for the bell. The shoving continues for a bit, with the crowd yelling ‘Yay” when Cole pushes, and “Boo” when Caps does. Some enterprising fans start to yell “Who” when Caps does it, and this gets picked up quickly. Eventually, everyone tires of this and Cole hits Caps with more than just a shove, that sends him back into the ropes. Caps bounces out and Cole kicks him in the stomach. Caps doubles over, and as Cole grins at him, Caps recovers and barrels head first into Cole’s stomach. He drives Cole back into the ropes, and then lifts him up and over, for a back body drop. Cole however hangs on and tries to bring Caps down. It isn’t working though, and Caps jumps onto the first rope and then down with a butt drop. The referee starts the count, but since they are so close to the ropes, Cole merely reaches out and grabs them at about one-half. Caps gets up and takes two steps backward. Cole stands up slowly, but it’s early yet, and he’s not even winded. He lunges at Caps with a chop, and then another, and then another, driving him back. The last one spins Caps around, and Cole grabs him and lifts him up and over for a suplex. He follows that up with another one, releasing this time. He gets over and pins Caps, but Caps kicks out strong at two. Cole dives onto Caps, and locks on the Crossface Chickenwing. The referee asks Caps if he wants to quit, and Caps shakes his head (as best he can). Cole has it locked on tight, and the crowd cheers. Caps however, manages to maneuver himself until he’s on one knee. He tries to stand once…twice….and finally his size works to his advantage and he’s able to stand. Cole has no choice but to break the hold. Caps turns around and does the Hulk Hogan Finger of Doom. He puts his hands to his ear, and the crowd boos. Cole shakes his head and goes for him, but at the last minute, Caps shoots his hand out and greets Cole with a thumb to the eye. Cole turns away, holding his face, and Caps goes to the turnbuckle to set up the Spirit of Fresno. He leaps…but Cole is ready for him and catches Caps mid air, and redirects him with a power bomb to the mat. He grabs his legs, and gets him over into the Texas Cloverleaf. It’s too much for Capslock, after the damage sustained by Tytan in two matches in a row, and eventually he has to tap.
WINNER in 15:44 – Chris Cole
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. STANK
“Scarecrow” starts up, and Moosehead Jack makes his way down the ramp to a mixed reaction. He’s really straddling that tweener line of late. He climbs into the ring and slumps down in the corner, making eye contact with Angelo Barros while doing so. “Skin” fires up and the crowd gets to their feet for super-uber face, Stank. Even Stank is a bit uncomfortable with the reaction of the Springfield crowd, but takes in the accolades anyway. He gets into the ring and looks over at Moose before bouncing off the ropes a couple of times. Angelo Barros looks hesitant; and if he’s hesitant already, it’s gonna be a long match for him. Angelo does his cursory look to both competitors and calls for the bell…and WE’RE UNDERWAY!
This one should prove to be just a brutal match…or so we think as the two circle each other. Moose dives in for a lockup, Stank reverses and works an Arm bar. Moose reverses into an Arm bar of his own, and works a hammerlock. As required by law, Stank slaps his shoulder twice, before reversing into a hammerlock on Moose. Moose slaps HIS shoulder twice, before sending Stank over in an ARM DRAG, but Stank HOLDS ON to the hammerlock. Moose, doing his best Greco-Roman impression, reverses on the mat into an Arm bar. Stank counters with a Head Scissors, and Moose escapes; with both men returning to a vertical base. The crowd responds with a smattering of golf claps. Apparently, not many Indy Wankers here, who by now would have fired up the “That Was Awesome”chant. Both men circle slowly again, and both dive simultaneously to lock up, but Moose ducks under and works a Rear Waist lock. He manages to dodge a left and right Back Elbow from Stank; but Stank reverses into a STANDING SWITCH! Now HE ducks elbows from Moose. Stank tries for a German Suplex, but Moose blocks it. Moose tries for a Hip Toss, and Stank blocks THAT. Eventually, Moose breaks Stank’s hands apart and works another Arm bar. Predictably, the crowd starts to shit on this. But, knowing their history, would you expect anything different?
Moose works the Arm bar into a Top Wristlock. Stank feigns immense pain, and reaches up to try to break the hold. At the last second, Moose switches to a hammerlock, and Stank slaps his shoulder twice. The crowd is demonstrably unhappy now, and have started a “This Is Bullshit” chant. Stank reverses into a hammerlock of his own, and of course, Moose slaps his shoulder twice. This is not a pleased crowd, who surely expected a couple of pints of blood to be lost by now. However, Stank’s got something for them; and hits a HAMMERLOCK NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Barros, shocked by someone hitting an actual move, is late getting into position as the Big Man is showing off with the bridge. Barros manages to get to 2 before Moose kicks out. Even Moose looks a little surprised, and the crowd applauds after someone finally hit a real move. Moose rubs the back of his neck before locking up with Stank again. This time, Stank just shoves him toward a turnbuckle, and is right on Moose’s heels as he stumbles back. Stank hits a MONSTER SPLASH on Moose in the corner. Stank WHIPS Moose to the other side and Stank repeats the performance across the ring. Moose is holding himself up by the ropes. He grabs the back of Moose’s head, and hits the SHITFACED! Stank jogs across the ring and then starts in a full sprint toward what’s left of Moose’s limp form, barely propped up in the corner. Here comes Stank…STANKONIA 2.0! Stank quickly drags Moose out of the corner and covers. That gets 2. Stank pulls Moose up by his hair, and now onto his shoulders…He’s looking for the STANK-U! He gets Moose up and…MOOSE REVERSES INTO A TOR-NA-DO DDT! Moose does the full HBK-flat-on-his-back spot here, causing Barros to start a count.
Moose, sadly, does NOT kip-up here, because that would have been awesome; but he does beat Barros’ count at 6. Stank is not too far behind, but it’s clear he’s likely concussed here. Moose runs up and hits a BIG SWINGING NECKBREAKER. The cover gets just 2. Moose pulls Stank up and hits a HUGE CHIMERA BOMB! That gets 2, but Stank just did get the shoulder up. Moose has a very surprised look on his face, and decides conventional means aren’t going to settle this one. Moose rolls out to the floor and grabs Stank’s legs, positioning one on either side of the steel post. Make a wish! Every male member of the audience here and at home just cringed. This, however, manages to wake Stank up from his stupor, and when Moose tries it again, Stank is able to kick him off. In fact, he kicked Moose so well, Moose went all the way into the barrier. Not hard, but enough. Stank is able to roll to the outside, and is on Moose relatively quickly. He fires Closed Right Hand after Closed Right Hand on Moose, and then smashes Moose’s head on the barrier a dozen times or so. Moose crumples into a heap, and Stank goes under the ring, looking for treasure.
In the ring goes 2 chairs, a table, a trash can and a Stop Sign. Angelo Barros is “admonishing” Stank not to do that, but really, what can he do? Around him, Stank has a shopping cart, another steel chair, a barbed wire baseball bat (how did THAT get there), and a kendo stick. Moose starts to struggle to his feet, and Stank fires the Shopping Cart at him; crushing him against the barrier. We see Moose for the first time since the barrier beating; and he is “busted wide open”. Stank comes over and just starts pummeling Moose with the kendo stick. Moose sells it like a champ, yelling and howling all the way. Stank actually shatters the kendo stick across Moose’s back and heads back to his pile o’ fun for the Steel Chair. Moose sees this, and tries to quickly get to his feet. Stank runs over and swings the Steel Chair, and it HITS THE BARRIER, SMASHING STANK IN THE FACE! Moose rolled out of the way just in time. Stank is DOWN, and Moose, clearly suffering from severe blood loss, manages to crawl his way over to his old friend, Mr. Barbed Wire Bat. In fact, he’s petting it, and it’s a little creepy. Moose LUNGES over toward Stank, and blasts him in the back with the bat. Stank yells. Moose, regaining his balance, uses the bat lodged in Stank’s back to pull himself up. I’m sure that felt good. Moose starts going all Chase Utley on Stank, blasting him on the back, in the front, on the head…Moose pulls Stank to his feet, and starts ASSAULTING him with KNIFE-EDGE CHOPS! He tosses Stank into the ring, and follows in close behind. He grabs the Trash Can and BLASTS it across Stank’s back. He puts one steel chair UNDER Stank’s head, and one on top. He SMASHES the baseball bat over and over onto the top chair, before he discards the bat. Moose heads over to set up the table, and apparently it’s more difficult than building a nuclear submarine, because it’s taking a REALLY long time.
Finally, Moose manages to finish the project, and turns around in time to see the bloody Stank SMASH a Stop Sign across his face. Moose collapses where he stands. Stank slowly pulls Moose up and lays him on the table. He climbs the nearest turnbuckle, and faces out to the crowd. He’s about to take off, when Moose FLIES up the ropes, and locks in a Waist lock on Stank. He’s trying for a German Suplex off the top rope! This isn’t working, as Stank just won’t budge. This calls for some fighting and shifting around on the top rope. Finally, Stank has the edge, and gets Moose up for a DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE! However, Stank misjudges where the table actually IS in all the commotion, so they BOTH go through the table. Moose’s head smashes into the trash can; and Stank’s head smashes into the Stop Sign. To his credit, Barros doesn’t rush the 10-count, but he does, indeed, reach 10.
YOUR DECISION in 14:59 by DOUBLE-COUNTOUT…NO CONTEST!
After the match, Stank gets to his feet and staggers around and slips out of the ring. He didn’t see that Moose had done the same and is on one knee on the other side of the ring. As Stank rounds the corner, Moose springs and SLAMS Stank in the face with a chair, knocking the already wobbly big man to the floor. Moose snarls and throws the chair down on Stank and walks to the back.
<We cut to a pre-taped segment with Russ sitting behind his desk>
This week's matches result in 6 semi-finalists; all of whom earn spots in the upcoming OOWF Invitational. In addition to wrestle on Midweek Mayhem next week, the semi-final and final will be televised LIVE on Midweek Mayhem!
In the Duane Gil Bracket
Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich eliminated Chile Bean Amezaga when Amezaga attempted a moonsault, DSCDVE catches him in mid air and hit a running power slam for the pin fall.
His opponent in the semi-finals will be "The Love Machine" Billy Wayne Woodard, who knocked off Bert Clarke via submission with a Scorpion Death Lock.
In the George South Bracket
Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo survives Vasco de Gama XVII, but barely. de Gama is disqualified when he threw the referee across the ring. The official was trying to break a chokehold that had already rendered Cuervo unconscious.
His next opponent: Fumunda Mung. Mung takes care of Buddy "P.S." Gordy by pin fall after not one, but TWO HUGE top rope Samoan Drops.
In the Jake Milliman Bracket
It took nearly an hour, but Hi-Vo Sakamoto ended The Philly Satanic's run with a Super kick out of nowhere.
Sakamoto's next foe, Mele Kalikamuka. Mele takes down Dean Krzyzewski with a Diving head butt through a table while the referee was knocked out. Mele dragged Dean into the ring, woke the referee, and made the pin fall.
So that it. Mele Kalikamuka, Hi-Vo Sakamoto, Fumunda Mung, Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo, Billy Wayne Woodard, and Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich all have earned slots in the OOWF Invitational next week. On February 11th, they meet in 3 semi-final matches LIVE on Midweek Mayhem. and the Final, a three-way elimination match will ALSO be live on February 18th. Stay Tuned for all the Great Action!
ALEXANDER DARLING vs. ERIC O’MAC
The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena. The first thing we hear is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of “Prelude” hits and The Darling Twins take a step onto the ramp. They don’t move until it finishes, and a blue spotlight focuses on them. Finally, ”Princes of the Universe.” Hits, and Alexander and Alexis make their way down the ramp, complete with Fuzzy Boots and Slow Motion. Ugh. They weave through the trash being thrown at them, and make their way into the ring. Both Alexander and Alexis crank up the douche, posing and preening all over the ring, while the crowd is worked into an absolute frenzy. Suddenly, the lights in the arena go out for about 10 seconds. About 5 seconds in, we hear "C'MON MAN!" The lights stay off until the lyrics "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!" hit. At that point, pyro, lots of pyro, and Eric comes out onto the ramp. Eric's entrance attire consists of a trench coat/hooded robe that matches his black, clue and silver ring attire. The funny part is, this entrance is also pretty douchey, but the fans eat it up. Introduced as “The Former OOWF World Champion”, Eric grins and slowly makes his way down the ramp while Alexander seethes. Eric hits the “Pose formerly known as the Douchebag Pose” at the bottom of the ramp. He doesn’t go directly into the ring; but walks all the way around to where Alexis bailed out to. No words are exchanged, but Alexis tries to look disgusted: and fails miserably. A sly smile crosses Eric’s face as he finally climbs in. Mel Creech holds Alexander back from attacking, and Eric and Alexander exchange pleasantries from across the ring. Suddenly, Eric’s music stops, and GM the Rick appears on the Jumbotron, getting a nice little face pop.
GMtR: Gentlemen…due to the, well, extraordinary nature of your levels of hatred for each other, I decided to let Mel Creech know…This isn’t exactly a NO DQ match…because we don’t just GIVE that shit away for free, Potsie. No sir. However, we’ll call this a “Limited DQ” match. In other words, Mel Creech might let a thing or two go as this match progresses. Right, Mel?
Mel gets off the phone with his bookie and nods emphatically.
Good. Glad we got that out of the way. Now, START THE DAMN MATCH BEFORE MY VAGINA IS SANDIFIED ANY MORE THAN IT ALREADY IS!
Mel Creech immediately calls for the bell…and WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Alexander and Eric fire the trash talk back up as they circle each other. Finally, both dive in for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Alexander works that into a Side Headlock, and Eric reverses that into an Arm bar. Darling does the double-kip thing and flips out of the Arm bar, working one of his own. Eric leverages Alexander over with a Deep Arm Drag, and hangs on. Eric locks on a Short Arm Scissors, and Alexander locks in a Head Scissors. Eric breaks and ducks out. The crowd applauds appropriately. Both dive in for another lockup, and Darling BLASTS Eric with a knee to the midsection; and thus ends the Indy Wanker Portion of this evening’s match. Darling grabs Eric’s head, and tries to hit a DDT, but Eric somehow shoves him off. Darling is surprised and is slow to get to his feet, giving Eric a chance to charge and DRILL Alexander with a Running Lariat. Eric sees Darling is not immediately getting up, and quickly goes to the top. He takes off for an E-MAC ATTACK…and EATS CANVAS! Darling rolled out of the way just in time, and Eric landed right on his face. Quickly, Darling locks Eric’s feet together and stands on his back, locking on a Surfboard Hold…You know what’s next…MOTHERFUCKIN’ CURBSTOMP! Darling quickly runs up the turnbuckle and takes off with a PHOENIX SPLASH…and HE EATS CANVAS! Eric rolled out of the way, actually in plenty of time, and comes up rubbing his mouth, apparently bleeding from the lips from the Curbstomp.
Now Eric goes over to an obviously hurting Darling, and starts the ENTERTAINING STOMP (well, entertaining for some, I’m sure.) Stompity-stomp-stomp-stomp, and Eric pretty much got everything. Eric hits the near ropes, and lands a Nice Knee Drop to the back of Darling’s head. Eric covers, and that gets 2. Eric slaps the mat, and pulls Darling up. Eric locks in and hits a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!
Russ: He really popped those hips that time!
Nash: That just sounds gay, Russ.
Darling landed on the back of his hard, and flat on his back. Eric looks down and smiles to the crowd. They get to their feet. Eric takes off his elbow pad, and throws it…to Alexis Darling? Eric hits the far ropes…he hits the near ropes…and HITS THE ENTERTAINING ELBOW! Eric covers, but that just gets 2. Eric really can’t believe it, and Mel Creech’s expression shows that he could really care less what Eric thinks. Eric slowly pulls up Darling, and hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! He smiles again, and waves his hand in Darling’s face. The crowd responds appropriately. Eric hits the near ropes…brushes his shoulder off…and PUNCHES THE CANVAS! Ow. Darling was playing some possum, and just starts raining Haymakers to the back of Eric’s head. Darling punctuates it with an Elbow Drop to the back of the neck, and Eric instinctively rolls over. Darling pounces. He grabs Eric’s legs, and locks on the DARLING MONEY CLIP! Eric shakes out the cobwebs just in time to start yelling, and Darling pulls back on the hold. Eric is in HUGE trouble. However, Eric manages to push himself up, and then makes a desperate dive for the ropes. He grabs them, but Creech, doing what he was told, counts VERY slowly, and Darling doesn’t break the hold until 4.99999. Eric grabs the ropes and bundles to the outside.
Eric takes a second or two to regain his bearings and start to get to his feet. Darling’s been waiting for him on the inside, and hits the far ropes…TOPE CON HILO! Darling lands on his feet and poses for the crowd, and they all throw beer at him. Darling pulls Eric up. He loads him onto his shoulder. Darling goes into a sprint and hits a RUNNING CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB ON THE STEEL STEPS! Eric screams out; he felt that one. Alexander signals across the way to his sister, who simply nods. Darling stretches Eric across the steps, and heads all the way up to the top turnbuckle. Darling takes off and hits a HARLEM HANGOVER ON ERIC’S THROAT ON THE STEEL STEPS! Eric literally bounces off the steps, and on to the floor. Just at that moment, Alexis comes by with 2 steel chairs and the special signed Sledgehammer. Darling slips one chair under Eric’s head, and the other chair on top. Alexander orders Alexis to the top turnbuckle. She refuses. What? He does it again, and again Alexis refuses, and she just walks away. Huh. Anyway, Darling grabs the Sledgehammer, and raises it over his head. He swings it down toward Eric, and Eric JUST DOES avoid death.
Alexander hits the chairs, and he is PISSED. He quickly goes over to Eric and pulls him up. He hits a VICIOUS DDT on the STEEL CHAIRS! Darling goes over to the timekeeper, and steals his Ring bell. He also grabs a trash can, lid, and 3 tables from under the ring. Darling grabs the Ring bell, and runs over to Eric. He tries to SMASH the Ring bell into Eric’s head, but AGAIN Eric gets out of the way. This time, it’s Eric playing possum, as he is quick to his feet; although he’s a bloody mess. Mel Creech counts “1”. Eric grabs one of the Steel Chairs, and just starts BLASTING Darling with Chair shots to the back. He takes the other chair, and head to the top turnbuckle. He takes off and lands an EMACINATOR to Darling’s head. Darling’s head snapped back and everything. Eric is satisfied with himself, and hits the Pose formerly known as the Douchebag Pose. The crowd just eats it up. Eric takes a quick look around, and spots the tables. He shoves all 3 into the ring. He fishes under the ring and grabs 2 ladders, shoving them in the ring. Eric grabs the trash can, and HITS A SOMERSAULT SPLASH WITH THE TRASH CAN to the back of Darling’s neck. Eric is certain that Darling is dead, so he pulls him over and rolls him into the ring. Eric quickly follows, but instead of covering (dumbass), he goes to work on the tables and ladders; which is apparently like building a brand new Space Shuttle each time.
Eric’s got what he wants, one ladder set up; 3 tables stacked on each other, and the other ladder in his hands. He holds it with the platform facing Darling. Eric charges, and Darling hits a DROP TOE HOLD! Eric’s face SMASHES into the ladder. Now it’s Darling slowly getting to his feet, and we see for the first time that HE’S a bloody mess. Eric didn’t quite knock himself unconscious, but he got pretty close. Eric props himself in the corner, with the ladder lying directly across him. I’m sure that won’t come into play at all. Darling snarls and charges. He hits a BASEMENT DROPKICK ONTO THE LADDER! That will crush a few ribs. Darling walks over and tosses the ladder back toward the middle of the ring. He pulls the bloody Eric up, and gets him onto his shoulders, as he walks toward the ladder. Darling puts his hand across Eric’s throat. He gets Eric up for a DARLING DRIVER, but Eric slips out and REVERSES! It looks like a Tornado DDT at first, but instead, Eric just lands on his feet, puts his arm around Darling’s throat, and hits THE SMACKDOWN ON THE LADDER! Darling is REALLY yelling after that one. Eric hits the near ropes, and hits a SENTON SPLASH ON THE LADDER! I’m sure that felt good. Eric grins and pulls Darling off the ladder and onto the mat…1…2…th..NO! Darling just DOES kick out, and Eric can’t believe it.
Eric slaps the mat repeatedly, and glares at Creech, who simply shrugs. Eric is clearly agitated, and lays Darling across the ladder again. He drops a couple of elbows, and Darling just howls in pain. Now Eric takes a look, and makes the international gesture for “It’s Over”. Eric starts climbing up the ladder…slowly. Eric is about 3/4ths of the way up the ladder, when Darling suddenly SPRINGS to life! He hits the closest ropes and does his very best Shelton Benjamin imitation, as he SPRINGBOARDS RIGHT ON THE LADDER! Eric is shocked, and he gets to the top. He tries to kick at Darling. Darling pulls at Eric’s leg. Darling gets to the top, and the two bloody men start firing HAYMAKERS at one another. Neither man is getting the advantage. Finally, Darling locks his arms around Eric’s head. Eric quickly locks his arms around Darling’s head. They both JUMP~! It’s a Diamond Cutter/EKO unintentional combination; and they BOTH GO THROUGH ALL THREE TABLES!~!~!!
Even Creech is a little surprised, but he does what he was told. After another full minute with neither man moving, Creech hits 10, and calls for the bell.
YOUR DECISION in 19:58 by DOUBLE COUNTOUT…NO CONTEST!
IHOP vs. THE HEROES GUILD – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match
Concrete TG, Blitz, and Nayr, representing the Heroes Guild, make their way to the ring first to a rousing ovation. The heroes exchange high-fives with the fans and pose for a few pictures before climbing into the ring. As they warm up, IHOP, accompanied by the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and Fezzik, enter the arena. They stop at the top of the ramp and raise their Chimpionships high to a less than enthusiastic response. Ignoring the crowd, IHOP march down the aisle and into the ring, and again hold the chimpionships high before handing them to referee Angelo Barros. After a brief stare down, Nayr & Blitz and SYB and Skurge head to their corners and Barros calls for the bell.
CTG and The Amnesiac circle, but SYB starts into the ring before they lock up. Barros turns towards SYB, and The Amnesiac delivers a swift kick to little 'Crete. CTG doubles over, and The Amnesiac runs him face-first into the IHOP corner. TA spins him around and delivers some chops before Barros inserts himself between them. TA backs off, and SYB wraps the tag rope around CTG's throat and starts throttling him, letting go just as Barros turns around. TA moves back in and hits a kick to the midsection followed by a DDT. The Amnesiac covers, but CTG kicks out at two. TA mounts CTG and punches away, drawing a warning from Barros. After a final slap, he reaches out and tags SYB.
TA scoops and slams CTG, as SYB comes off the top rope with a flying knee. He covers, but again CTG kicks out. SYB drags CTG to the corner and Skurge tags himself in. SYB pins CTG's arms and Skurge delivers a bionic elbow, then hooks him and takes him down with a suplex. Skurge sits CTG up and locks on a headlock. CTG fights to his feet, but Skurge snaps him over back to the mat. He grabs CTG's arms and pulls back, planting his knee in his back for leverage. SYB ducks into the ring and dropkicks CTG in the face. Skurge covers, but Nayr dives across the ring to break it up. SYB slides back in and spears Nayr into the ropes. The Amnesiac is in as well, and Blitz sprints across the ring and levels him with a leg lariat.
IHOP gains the advantage in the ensuing brawl, and back their opponents into three separate corners. They try a triple Irish whip, but the Guild reverses. IHOP put on the brakes just before they collide, and turn around into a triple dropkick that slams them together in the middle of the ring. IHOP staggers, and Blitz and Nayr hip toss SYB over the ropes to the floor. The Amnesiac lunges at them, but they hook his arms and CTG delivers his trademark kick in the rear that sends TA to the outside as well. Skurge grabs CTG in a full nelson, but CTG jumps as Blitz and Nayr sweep Skurge's legs. CTG frees himself in the air and grabs Skurge's head, turning his momentum into a stunner. CTG covers as Nayr and Blitz bail back to their corner. Barros counts One...Two...Thr – Skurge kicks out!
CTG rolls to his corner and tags Nayr, who sprints across the ring and nails Skurge with a knee to the temple. He gets a couple of stomps in, then springs off the second rope into a moonsault. He hooks the leg, but SYB comes of the top with an elbow to break it up. As Barros sends SYB out, Skurge rolls to his knees and drives an Elbow into Nayr's stomach, then gets to his feet, slings him to the ropes, and plants him with a spine buster. With one foot on Nayr's throat, Skurge reaches out and tags The Amnesiac.
TA and Skurge scrape Nayr off the mat and hit him with a tandem suplex. TA hits the ropes and drives a knee into Nayr's head, then starts to cover, but rolls out of the way as Blitz dives into the ring. Blitz manages to miss Nayr and land on his feet, but TA takes his head off with a super kick. TA tosses Blitz out of the ring and turns back to Nayr, who rolls him up and gets a two-count.
Nayr pulls TA up and sends him to the ropes, nailing a beautiful dropkick to the face. He slings TA into the corner and tags Blitz. They pull TA out of the corner and drive him back into the turnbuckles, then hit stereo punches to the stomach, followed by elbows to the back of the head. Nayr lifts TA onto his shoulders as Blitz climbs to the top rope. Nayr hits a Death Valley Driver and Blitz lands a leg drop as TA hits the mat. He makes a cover, but SYB is in to break it up.
SYB sling Blitz into the IHOP corner and drives a shoulder into his stomach. Nayr and CTG come in to help, but Barros cuts them off, giving SYB the chance to hit the Jersey Turnpike before ducking out of the ring. TA staggers to the IHOP corner as Barros turns around, and makes the tag to SYB. SYB climbs to the second rope and hooks Blitz's head, leaping back into a brutal DDT. He covers, but CTG breaks it up.
Skurge comes in to help his partner, and things break down quickly. SYB grabs CTG around the waist and Skurge delivers a brutal shot to the kidneys. Nayr sprints across the ring and runs right into a big boot from Skurge. Skurge and SYB send CTG to the ropes, and The Amnesiac pulls the top one down, sending CTG toppling to the outside. Skurge picks Nayr up as SYB hits the ropes – Smokehouse Combo! SYB falls on him for the pin, but Barros points out that Blitz is the legal man. With a frustrated cry, SYB pounces on Blitz, slamming his head into the mat, while Skurge tosses Nayr to the outside and follows him out. SYB scrapes Blitz off the mat and tosses him into the corner. After a few punches – and a Jersey Turnpike when Barros isn't looking – SYB sits Blitz on the top turnbuckle and climbs up. Incredibly, he snaps off a hurricanrana! He makes the cover and Barros counts One...Two...Thr – CTG just manages to reach in and drag him off!
SYB slams the mat in frustration and gets to his feet. Ignoring Blitz, he slings himself over the top rope and crashes into CTG, wailing away with lefts and rights. Skurge and The Amnesiac brutalize Nayr as Barros starts to count. Blitz gets to his feet and shakes off the cobwebs, then hits the ropes and sprints across the ring, leapfrogging Barros and spring boarding off the top rope, slamming TA and Skurge (and Nayr) into the railing. Distracted, Barros re-starts the count.
CTG fights to his feet as SYB continues his attack. He grabs SYB and drops backwards, flinging him into the ring. Blitz crawls onto the ring apron as SYB staggers to his feet. Blitz springs to the top rope – Flying Bulldog! Blitz rolls SYB over and hooks the leg. One...Two...Skurge and The Amnesiac try to get into the ring, but Nayr manages to tangle himself in their legs just long enough...Three!
WINNERS, and new OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions, in 18:48, The Heroes Guild.
The Heroes Guild celebrates in the middle of the ring, but their celebration is cut short when Alexis Darling comes to the top of the ramp and speaks:
Celebrate that win now, and cherish those titles while you have them, because I am out here to announce that sometime this month I will be putting together a team and cashing in my shot at the Trios titles. I will be bringing home the belts to DEA.
<Alexis drops the mic and heads to the back>
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match
The arena gets dark for a moment before Arcade’s “Calm of the Storm” hits and DH Magnusson steps into the arena. Coming out with him is Alexis Darling. Magnusson is clearly not liked here in Illinois, but then again, this is a state that supports the Cubs, so their taste is in question. The beer is flying at Mags and he’s about to go after a fan with his chain when Alexis pulls him back and guides him towards the ring. He starts swinging the chain wildly as Sterling Glaw bails from the ring. A green explosion hits and an Irish flag starts waving on the OOWFTron as Seamus McNasty enters the arena. He doesn’t even give his music a chance to really kick in as he rushes down the aisle and slides under the bottom rope and under the chain swings of DH. McNasty grabs his ankles and takes DH down before starting an onslaught of fists. Mags drops the chain and it slides to the outside where Alexis grabs it. Glaw gets back in the ring and he tries to get McNasty off of DH so we can get a legal start to this match.
Seamus backs off just enough to clear the distance and allow Sterling to ring the bell. As soon as it’s rung McNasty leaps across to DH and takes him down with a Thesz press. He starts pouring blows down on DH once again, but Glaw is making sure they aren’t actual punches and he finds them clean. It looks like Seamus is connecting with elbow strikes and DHM is trying to cover up. The crowd is really behind SM tonight and he gets up and takes in the cheers as Mags tries to find some space to recover. Seamus won’t let him though as he drags him to his feet and pushes him into the corner. SM starts lighting up DH’s chest with knife-hand chops and it starts turning a deep shade of red. Mags is trying to fight back and he pushes Seamus back enough and he slightly bumps into Glaw distracting him for a quick second. But that’s enough time to allow Magnusson to throw an old poke-to-the-eye at Seamus and then he explodes out of the corner with a clothesline.
Mags starts stomping down on Seamus as he tries to get back to his feet. DHM picks up the now standing McNasty and goes to attempt a vertical suplex, but Seamus blocks it. DH tries again and again it is blocked. He goes for a third attempt, but SM reverses it again and he lifts DH up for a vertical suplex but instead of going over with it, Seamus just lets DH fall to the mat and he crashes hard. McNasty starts dropping hammers onto DH’s back now as he tries to wear down DH to finish him with the Celtic Cross later. He leans down and grabs Mags around the waist and he lifts him up and takes him down with a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB. He makes a cover, but it’s still a bit early and DHM is able to kick out at an early 2.
McNasty stays on the attack though as he whips Magnusson off the ropes and takes him back to the mat with a quick power slam. He quickly tries to lock in a Fujiwara Arm bar, but DH squirms away and grabs the bottom rope. Glaw pulls Seamus off and the announcement is made, DH Magnusson has used rope break #1. He has 2 remaining. DH slams the mat in frustration as he gets back to his feet and stares over at Seamus. He makes the bring it motion and Seamus is more than happy to oblige as he charges. DH is quick to side step him though and hit an enzuriguri-type kick to the back of McNasty’s neck. He starts throwing some heavy European uppercuts that has SM reeling in the corner. Glaw is trying to get a break and he finally pulls Mags off and they start arguing. This allows Alexis to jump up on the apron and start choking Seamus with the tag rope in the corner.
He tries to swing back, but Alexis is able to duck and drop off the apron as DH charges back into the corner and hit a big splash. Seamus stumbles out and Mags hits a high-running knee to Seamus back. Mags quickly stays on the attack as he jumps down on the back with a DOUBLE STOMP. And then DH takes a seat and locks in a CAMEL CLUTCH. He’s got the arms over the knees know and he’s really wrenching back. It takes a few minutes but Seamus is finally able to crawl over and grab the bottom rope. DH doesn’t let go of the hold at first as Glaw begins a count. Mags finally lets go out at four and we hear the announcement, Seamus McNasty has used rope break #1. He has 2 remaining.
Magnusson doesn’t give Seamus any time to recover at all as he drags him to his feet and grabs a fistful of hair before running towards the ropes and jumping over and all the way to the floor; snapping Seamus’ throat right across the top rope. Mags gets back on the apron and wait for McNasty to turn around. When he does DHM leaps up to the top rope and goes for a SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE, but Seamus is able to catch him coming off with a TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER. And both men are down. Seam us is the first to move, he crawls over and makes the cover…
1…
2…
DH gets a shoulder up. Magnusson rolls away and pulls himself to his feet using the ropes as does Seamus on the opposite side. Seamus charges and DH is able to see him out of the corner of his eye and he drops down pulling the top rope and Seamus flies over the top and plants himself on the floor. Glaw is pulling DH away from the ropes and is explaining something to him and then we hear the announcement, DH Magnusson has used rope break #2. He has 1 remaining. Alexis is screaming on the outside that there was no rope break, but Glaw explains that using the ropes as a defensive move, constitutes a rope break. DH is furious as he heads to the outside and he turns to look at Glaw and flips him off as he closes his fist and starts punching away at Seamus. Glaw is warning him from inside the ring. If he gets another warning, that will be his last rope break. Seamus starts blocking the punches and now he’s returning with some of his own and now HE gets the warning.
And now both guys are slugging it out with closed fists. Glaw has seen enough of that and he makes a motion to the ring announcer, Due to illegal punches, both Seamus McNasty and DH Magnusson have been charged with a rope break. That is DH Magnusson’s 3rd rope break. He has no more remaining. It is Seamus McNasty’s 2nd rope break. Ha has one remaining. Both guys don’t seem to care, but Seamus does try to toss Magnusson into the ring, but DH hits the bottom rope…REBOUND LARIAT almost takes Seamus’ head off. DH slides into the ring and Glaw begins his count on Seamus…
1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
6, 7, 8, 9…And Seamus is starting to stir on the outside.
10, 11, 12…He grabs the ring apron and starts to pull himself up and DH goes to help him enter the ring and both guys are fighting over a suplex. Seamus is able to lift DH out and over onto the apron. Seamus hits a few knees and he’s able to lift DHM up into the air and he hooks a leg…FISHERMAN BUSTER on the apron. Both men are hurt but Seamus is able to take DH and roll him into the ring. He follows him in and makes the cover…
One…DH’s leg is on the rope.
Two…But he has no more rope breaks.
Th…DH is able to kick out at the last moment. Seamus stays on the attack as he whips DH hard into the corner. He follows him in with a hard elbow. Seamus lifts Mags up and places him on the top rope with his back facing the ring. McNasty tries to climb up…he’s going for the CELTIC CROSS, but Magnusson is firing back with some elbows and Seamus stumbles off the turnbuckle. DH starts to turn around and Seamus is heading backing in but DH hits a hard kick to the side of SM’s skull and he crumbles to the mat. DH gets to his feet and he leaps off the top rope…THUNDERCRACK connects. He makes the cover.
1…
2…
Seamus barely gets his shoulder up. DH is frustrated but he stays on it as he lifts Seamus up to his feet. He picks him up in an inverted suplex position. He starts spinning around…INVERTED BRAINBUSTER and he hits it. Magnusson thinks he has it. He drops down for the cover…
ONE…
TWO…
THRE…NO…Seamus barely was able to reach out and grab the bottom rope. DH doesn’t realize it and thinks he has the match won. He has his hand raised, but Sterling Glaw has to explain and the announcement makes it obvious, Seamus McNasty has used rope break #3. He has no more remaining. Magnusson is pissed and he goes back over to Seamus. SM surprises him and rolls him up with a small package…
1…
2…
Kick out. DH is really pissed off now and he goes to kick Seamus, but SM is able to sweep him off his feet and he gets back to a vertical base. Mags is back to his feet as well and they are fighting over position. Seamus is able to whip Magnusson to the ropes. He catches DHM coming off with a drop toehold. Seamus quickly floats over and locks on a cross face…IRISH CAR BOMB. Seamus has the IRISH CAR BOMB. And there isn’t anything DH can do. He has no more rope breaks. Seamus has it locked in and he’s really cinching back. And then all of a sudden…
The bell rings???
The 15-minute time limit has expired. This match is a draw. And Glaw hightails it out of here before one of these guys goes nuts as no one likes a draw. Seamus looks up the aisle and is asking for more time as he wants to beat down DH. Unbeknownst to him, Alexis Darling has slide the chain into the ring and DH Magnusson is wrapping it around his forearm. Seamus turns around and goes to pick up DH…but Mags goes for THE JERSEY HAMMER. Seamus ducks it though and the chain falls. Seamus grabs one side and they’re playing tug of war with the chain as they both fall to the mat. They roll out of the ring as DH uses the chain and whips Seamus hard into the barricade. DH charges him, but McNasty lowers his head and back body drops DH into the third row. Seamus follows him with the chain and DHM starts tossing chairs aside as the two guys are brawling through the crowd. And they keep brawling and brawling and brawling through one section, up and down another section. They’re hitting each other with everything they can find in their path. Finally they head into a backstage area and we hear a bunch of loud crashes as someone rips the camera out of the ninja’s hand and uses it as a weapon. It seems like we’ve lost the feed now.
There is no winner as a result of a 15-minute time limit draw. Seamus McNasty retains the OOWF Onslaught Championship.
|
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 31, 2009 22:43:16 GMT -5
FEAR US vs. TYTAN & TYSON KINCAID – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchWilliams and Kincaid with a stare down at the bell and they lock up. Kincaid grabs a headlock and LDW reverses. Another reversal and Kincaid gets a hammerlock, but Williams snap mares out of that, but Kincaid grabs a leg on the way down and trips him up. Jackknife rollup gets a quick two, and Tyson tells L.D. he was this close to winning the match. Williams slaps him in retaliation and grabs the headlock, but Kincaid reverses again and gets a belly to back suplex. Tag to Tytan, but Williams quickly trips him up and tags out to OBJ. Jack in and he and Tytan slug it out, neither man gaining an advantage until Tytan gets a knee lift. Gutbuster and fallaway slam follow, and OBJ bails to the apron to regroup. Tytan grabs Jack and suplexes him back in, but Jack lands on his feet and gets a roll up for two. Tag Williams, but a Hart Attack fails as Tytan DDT's Jack and kicks Williams at the same time. Jack gets tossed, Williams gets power slammed, and tag to Kincaid. TK to the top and gets a double axe handle, and that gets two on Williams. Back up and a monkey flip then an arm drag. Hip toss, however, gets blocked via a timely grab of the hair, and an inverted DDT puts Kincaid down hard. Tag to Jack, and OBJ comes in and pounds Kincaid down. Short clothesline, and Jack pulls him up by the arm and does it again, and then a third time, turning Kincaid inside out. Guillotine with the bottom rope, and LDW's back in. Williams measures TK with a running knee lift, but he wanders to close to the wrong corner and Tytan nails him with a right hand, drawing a warning from the official. Williams grabs TK for the DDT, but the ref being distracted allows Biggs to slide in and clobber LDW from behind. Jack runs him off, but the culmination of the sequence winds up with Kincaid getting the hot tag to Tytan. Down goes Williams, down goes Jack. Backdrop Williams, tiltawhirl slam for Jack. LDW runs into the DECAPITATOR, and a gut wrench power bomb gets two. OBJ to the ropes, but Tytan puts his head down early, and Jack pile drives him instead. The ref has to shoo OBJ out of the ring, so when Williams crawls over and covers Tytan, Kincaid comes in off the top with a leg drop to break it up. That draws OBJ back in and it's BREAKING LOOSE IN SPRINGFIELD! Jack and Kincaid have it out, and a flying forearm sends OBJ to the floor, and TK follows out with a MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! That leaves Williams and Tytan in the ring, and Tytan grabs the FULL NELSON~! Williams counters before he get cinch it in, dropping down and rolling him thru for a pin. One, two, but Biggs reaches in and shoves them over, and Tytan gets a long two. Williams pops up and goes right after Biggs, who feigns innocence. They scrum on the apron, and Tytan runs in for the kill, but Williams steps aside at the very last moment. Tytan and Biggs knock heads, and Williams schoolboys Tytan, grabbing the tights just to be sure, and gets the three count!! WINNERS and STILL OOWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: FEAR US DAVIN MORELAND vs. POE – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchIt’s time for the main event, and the Springfield crowd is on their feet in anticipation. “Miseria Cantare” fires up, and the crowd goes batshit as Poe appears at the top of the ramp with Selena. The crowd sings along with the song at first before just breaking into a “Poe” chant. Poe climbs into the ring and does some token posing before patting Selena on the head and shuttling her out of the ring. Head Referee Davis Hightower rests against the turnbuckle and takes in the festivities. Poe’s music stops and the crowd just erupts in cheers. Poe bounces off the ropes a couple of times and does some stretches. The crowd dies down a bit, and the delay has become noticeable. Boos start to rain down from the top of the arena, and we’re all in a holding pattern as Davin Moreland takes his sweet-ass time to get to the ring. The boos continue to get louder until FINALLY the disco lights start to flash throughout the arena. This brings the crowd to full throat. “NO! NO!...NOTORIOUS!” is heard over the PA, and here comes the trash from the crowd. Ostentatious amounts of pyro go off, and finally we see OOWF World Champion Davin Moreland and the Lovely Samantha Darling (who is oddly looking a lot less whore-y these days) at the top of the ramp. Davin rips the Championship from around his waist and raises it high in the air for all to see. This draws a predictable reaction and the Darling-Moreland couple ducks and weaves, completely oblivious to the trash being thrown. Davin gets in the ring and stares down Poe before doing the full four corner pose with all the ruffles and flourishes. He then busts out a Douchebag Pose, and the crowd doesn’t seem to take kindly to this. Finally, Davin hands his belt to Davis Hightower. He raises it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Davin smirks at Poe and starts yapping. Poe is completely focused and stone-faced, not getting into it. The two circle and get closer until they’re virtually nose-to-nose. Davin’s mouth refuses to stop, and Poe continues to refuse to say anything. Davin finally smirks and looks away before landing a SLAP OF DISRESPECT! Davin really ratchets up the trash talk now, as Poe sells the slap. Poe uncoils and unleashes a Double Axe-Handle to Davin’s ribs. There’s rumor around as to whether or not those ever healed right after LD Williams threw him down the stairs. Davin eats another Axe-Handle, before Poe gets in and hooks up a Beautiful BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Davin lands awkwardly, but Poe isn’t waiting here at all. Poe immediately grabs Davin’s leg and tries for a DESERT SCORPION, but Davin is able to kick Poe away, and bundles to the outside, where he’s greeted immediately by Samantha. This draws Selena over, who comes over screeching “Get back in the ring”. Ugh. Stop talking. Poe has quietly made his way out to the apron, and sizes up the Champ. He hits a MISSILE DROPKICK that NAILS Davin in the ribs, and THAT looked like it hurt. This runs off Samantha, who wants no part of this. Poe pulls Davin up, and gets him ALL the way up in a PRESS SLAM position, and just DROPS Davin on the RETAINING WALL, right on his ribs. Davin makes an odd noise, and it’s clear he’s actually hurt. Poe pulls Davin up and WHIPS him into the STEEL STEPS, and they splay out everywhere. Poe chuckles to himself before following up. Poe grabs Davin and hits another PRESS SLAM, this time on the STEEL STEPS! The Champ’s got nothing at this point. Poe is full on laughing now as he drags Davin over to the Bostonian Announce Table. The announcers tell Poe they “hate him a wicked lot”. This confuses Poe momentarily, but doesn’t stop him from bending a lifeless Davin over the Table. Poe gets on top of the table, takes 2 steps, and hits a LEGDROP ON DAVIN’S RIBS ON THE TABLE. He intentionally did a leg drop so the table wouldn’t break. Brilliant. He pulls Davin up once again, and hits a rear waist lock. GERMAN SUPLEX INTO THE APRON! You can hear Davin gasping for breath. Poe tosses Davin into the ring, and goes to follow up, but Samantha has showed up again, and starts screaming at Poe. Poe laughs at her and takes two steps toward her. Samantha sprints away. Poe climbs into the ring and looks down at the dead Moreland. He nonchalantly covers, although he does hook the leg, and he’s got a big smile on his face. Hightower counts…1, 2, thre….NO! Somehow, Davin rolled the shoulder, and Poe looks at Hightower incredulously. Hightower shrugs and holds up two fingers before resuming his position. Poe pulls up Davin, and WHIPS him HARD INTO THE CORNER, so hard that Davin bounces off and hits the mat. Poe repeats this, going in the other direction. Poe tries it again, going for the hat trick, but this time Davin stays in the corner. Poe charges and hits a HUGE SPLASH that has Davin stumbling around gasping for air. Poe WHIPS Davin into the corner again, and again he’s still standing. Poe charges looking for a HUGE SPLASH again, and EATS BIG BOOT! Poe took it directly on the chin, and immediately drops to the mat. Davin just uses the ropes to hold himself up, unable to follow up here. Poe is still out when Davin seems to have recovered slightly, and pulls himself up to the top turnbuckle. Davin leaps and hits a MACHO MAN ELBOW, and hit it right in Poe’s sternum. Davin covers, that gets a quick 2. Davin uses the ropes to pull himself up, but Poe catches him in a SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP! That gets a long 2 before Davin is able to escape. Davin is on all fours as Poe walks over to follow up. Davin DIVES at Poe’s Ankle, and succeeds at chopping the big man down. Davin floats under and locks on an ANKLE LOCK! Davin’s got it, but he’s on one knee, and not able to get everything behind it. Poe is SCREAMING in pain, and calling Davin some not very nice names. Poe manages to inch near the corner. Finally, summoning up all his strength, Poe turns and kicks off Davin. Davin goes FLYING over the top rope, catching himself on the ring apron before hitting the ground. Samantha dutifully comes running over, and Davin whispers something to her, and Samantha takes off as quickly as she got there. Poe is in the ring, trying to get the blood circulating to his ankle again, and Davin is trying to get to his knees, but he’s holding his ribs, and looks to be in rough shape. Poe uses the ropes to get to his feet, and manages to put some weight on his ankle. He limps slightly as he rolls out of the ring. He takes a couple of steps and BLASTS Davin in the ribs with a VICIOUS KICK! Lather, rinse, repeat three or four times here. Poe is grinning again, and he goes for another kick to the ribs, when he is BLASTED in the domepiece by a STEEL CHAIR! Great work, Samantha. Poe drops where he stands, and Davin does his best trying to pull himself up; and Samantha helps him the rest of the way. Davin directs traffic, and Samantha puts the chair around Poe’s ankle. She then fishes a BASEBALL BAT out from under the ring. She tosses it to Davin, and in the same motion, Davin catches it and just starts WHALING on the chair. There must be about a dozen shots in all, with Poe just yelling out in pain. Davin winds up for another shot to the chair; when out of nowhere, Selena grabs the bat and takes it out of Davin’s hands. She starts Banshee Screaming, and Samantha takes a step toward her. Davin holds her back and directs Samantha to the other side of the ring. Davin grins wickedly at a terrified Selena, and is looking right at her as he STOMPS on the chair repeatedly. Selena is reduced to tears as Davin is finally through with what’s left of the chair, and rolls Poe back in the ring, just as Hightower counts “7”. Davin heads to the top rope and faces the crowd. He gestures that “they’re number 1” before he takes off and HITS A MOONSAULT! He floats right into the cover and gets a long 2 count. Davin is clearly laboring and is having a tough time standing up, or doing much of anything normally. He grabs Poe, and gets him up for a STALLING BRAINBUSTAHH~! Ouch. Davin covers and gets another 2. Davin pulls Poe up and hits him with an F-5! Davin has to take a second to catch his breath, and can only get a 2-count out of it. Davin slaps the mat, and he’s going to try for a CRUCIFIXION! How disrespectful. He gets Poe on his shoulder, but right before Davin throws Poe to the mat, Poe KICKS Davin as hard as he possibly can in the ribs. Davin yells and drops Poe. Davin is literally rolling on the mat in excruciating pain. Poe finally pulls himself to his feet, but he can but NO weight on his injured ankle. Davin manages to get to his hands and knees. Poe sucks in a deep breath and CHARGES. With a painful yell, Poe hits Davin with a SHINING WIZARD! Davin is OUT! Poe can’t follow yet, that took a lot out of him. The crowd is on their feet in anticipation! Poe finally does cover and hooks the leg! 1…2…thre…NO! Poe thinks he’s the new champ, but Hightower taps him on the shoulder and tells him it was just 2. Poe is FURIOUS and grabs Hightower’s shirt, and Hightower points at the OOWF logo on his shirt. THAT will end any argument. Poe gets to his foot again, and looks to land ANOTHER Shining Wizard, but this time Davin GRABS Poe’s leg and hits a DRAGON SCREW! Davin slowly gets to his knees, and then to his feet. He pulls up Poe, and tries for a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Poe REVERSES into a SICK IMPLANT DDT! Poe goes for a cover, but luckily for Davin, Samantha makes the save by putting his foot on the rope. Poe is INCENSED and starts SCREAMING at Samantha, calling her some not-so-very-nice-names. Poe gets up and is about to hobble over to Samantha, when Davin is able to lock in an ANKLE LOCK OUT OF NOWHERE! The camera cuts to Samantha, and a smugger, more self-satisfied look I don’t think you’ll ever see. Poe almost taps immediately, but sees the proximity of the ropes and is able to get there for a break. Poe starts to pull himself up, and Davin charges. Poe tries for the LOW BRIDGE, but Davin SNAPS Poe’s neck on the rope on the way by, and ends up landing on his feet. Davin Douchebag poses for the crowd. He climbs back in and goes right after Poe. He pulls him up and goes for a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Poe REVERSES and it looks like another DDT, but Poe stops mid-move, and hooks Davin up, and goes for a CRUCIFIXION! Poe’s ankle betrays him, however, and just as he’s about to drop Davin, Davin REVERSES and HITS A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Goodnight Poe. Davin makes the international sign for “It’s Over”. The crowd shits all over this turn of events. Davin physically drops to his knees holding his ribs, as the adrenaline rush (not the Johnny Adrenaline kind) seems to have ended. Davin is about to cover, but seems to be hit by a spark of inspiration. He drags Poe to the middle of the ring and locks on an ANKLE LOCK…and GRAPEVINES THE LEG! Poe isn’t going anywhere. Once Poe comes to, there are just some sick, guttural cries of pain. Poe holds out as long as he possibly can, but I don’t know if even the immortal can take this amount of pain. A minute later, Poe taps out. WINNER in 19:14 by SUBMISSION…DAVIN MORELAND! As soon as the bell rings, Davin’s eyes roll back in his head, and he immediately goes unconscious. Poe, as well, goes unconscious after the hold is broken. Hightower starts hitting the “Dreaded X” sign to the back, and the REAL Paramedics, not the indy workers, come out to tend to both men. Interesting spot in this sequence when both Samantha and Selena rush into the ring, look at each other briefly and seem to call some sort of non-verbal truce for the time being. Run DEA and the Moose Posse also come out ringside, and leave each other alone as they tend to their respective charges. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days IV! Live, March 1, from Springfield, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1, Live! February 4th from Springfield, Wisconsin
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
|
|
