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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:20:43 GMT -5
Firewoman and Lucky are walking through the halls of the latest OOWF Arena. Clearly it's not the Hallway of Random Encounters, as they encounter no one. L: I'm just saying that I don't think you're supposed to mix alcohol and -- FW: I don't pay you to think, Lucky. L: Actually, you do. FW: Hm...you're right. Okay, duly noted. And ignored. L: And I'm not so sure this is a good idea.... FW: Look, I'm thirsty. You're thirsty. They have Jameson's. L: Yeah, but I mean there's fearless...and then there's stupid. And the probability of this being stupid is-- FW: I know I don't pay you to whine. This will be a great location for this week's promo. It's got...ambience! Firewoman and Lucky walk up to and then through a door. The external ninja cam pulls back to reveal a sign above the door that says The Destroyitarium. We then switch perspectives to the internal ninja cam. Firewoman and a very nervous Lucky take the first available bar stools, and order two Jameson's. The bartender hesitates at first, but with a nod from one of the usual occupants, he relents. Firewoman and Lucky clink glasses and down their shots, ordering two more. L: Okay, can we just get this over with? FW: Excellent. What do you want to know? L: Um...It's in my notes here....I'm so nervous.... FW: Calm down. Just do your job. L: This is so...Okay, here it is. Firewoman, you are recovering from a potentially career ending, if not life ending, injury, and now face the potential of not one, not two, but three matches against some of the toughest competitors in the OOWF. FW: Well, first of all, Lucky, *batistalaughs* my injuries were nowhere near as severe as some imagined, and not nearly as severe as a certain former tag team partner of mine would have hoped. I am medically cleared to work, and that is all that matters. L: LD Williams has said that he will do whatever it takes to get a shot at Davin's World Championship. Does that concern you, given your obvious....um....what's another word for 'weakness' that won't get me punched? FW: There isn't one. And no it doesn't concern me. "Oh, Mistah Williams! Please don't hurt me!" Is that what you want to hear, LD? Well, fuck that. I feel better than I have in weeks. Make no mistake, Williams. I know how tough you are. And your mother is a fine, fine woman I admire alot. Much like Spin Hansen, you are a true legend in the OOWF, but you are a legend I know how to beat. Will I do it again Wednesday? Well, I'm certainly planning to, but anything can happen. Turns out, that's why we have the actual matches. L: So, assuming you get past LD, then you wrestle his partner in Fear Us, Outback Jack, or PMS member Seamus McNasty. FW: Outback Jack and his other two personalities, you mean. Shouldn't that make it a handicapped match? *batistalaughs* L: You've been hanging around Davin too long. FW: We'll get to him in a minute. Outback Jack ... someone else whose work I admire greatly, although I don't fear him. I don't "Fear Them." I don't fear anyone, Outback. Another legend, whose accomplishments I admire, but another obstacle to be overcome. L: Wow, all this talk about legends...you sound like... FW: Don't even finish that sentence. L: No prob. The bartender brings the third round, as they had both made the international sign for "Keep 'em Coming." L: Okay, Seamus... FW: Hehehe...Oh trust me, I know what it takes to make Seamus submit. Kayfabe glares at Firewoman. L: Um...so let's say you beat Williams...then you win the next. That leaves your partner and friend, World Champion Davin Moreland, who is also sporting injured ribs. FW: Indeed he is. Davin and I have tangled before. World Champion Davin Moreland knows that it doesn't matter to me if we're friends, partners, or even family. If I get an opening, his belt is mine. L: I think that's it....um....we should probably go. FW: Naw, that bottle over there is only half empty.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:21:20 GMT -5
We seem to be interrupting a ritual that Poe and Selena are performing in their locker room. Selena is pulling candles rolled out of what appears to be Poe’s blood (he is bandaging his hand). Two crutches are conspicuously placed against the wall near the altar of the winged goddess Isis they are using.
SG: Do we really have to do this on the first of every month?
Poe: Yes, goddess, there are things we all must do every month.
SG: Don’t remind me. Ready?
Poe: Yes, goddess.
Poe kneels in front of the altar, wincing a bit as he moves his heavily taped ankle to a comfortable position.
Poe: Lord Osiris, head my call. I ask in your great wisdom, your forgiveness for my sins. I wish to appease the judges who will one day judge my eternal soul. I ask the Far-strider of Heliopolis forgiveness for any falsehood I have committed.
Selena lights one of the candles and places it on the altar.
Poe: I ask the Fiery eyes of Letopolis forgiveness for my crookedness.
Selena lights another candle.
Poe: I ask White of teeth from Fayum to forgive any transgression I may have committed.
Selena lights another candle.
Poe: I ask Doubly evil of and Andjet forgiveness for any disputing I may have done.
Selena Lights another candle.
Poe: I ask See whom you bring from the House of Min forgiveness for misbehaviour.
Selena lights another candle.
Poe: I ask Over the old one of mau forgiveness for terrorizing.
Selena smiles as she lights another candle.
Poe: I ask the Demolisher of Chois forgiveness for transgressing against others.
SG: Didn’t you already do that one?
Poe: Selena…
SG: Sorry.
Selena lights another candle.
Poe: I ask the Disturber of Weryt forgiveness for being hot-tempered.
Selena lights another candle.
Poe: I ask the Foreteller of Wenes forgiveness for making disturbances.
Selena giggles slightly as she lights another candle.
Poe: I ask the Hot-foot of the dusk forgiveness for neglect.
Selena frowns as she lights another candle.
Poe: I ask You of the darkness forgiveness for quarrelling.
Selena smiles as she lights another candle.
Poe: I ask the Owner of faces from Nedjefet forgiveness for my impatience.
Selena is about to light a candle but stops.
SG: That’s a new one.
Poe: It is my impatience to get my hands on Davin Moreland again.
SG: Ah, yes.
Selena lights the candle.
Poe: Judges please accept my offering of fire and blood as I will one day plead for mercy on my soul.
Poe bows, kisses the ground in front of the altar. Selena hands Poe his crutches and Poe then uses them to stand. Poe then looks at the ninja cameraman.
Poe: Davin Moreland, congratulations. You defeated me in the center of the ring. That indeed puts you in rare company. You went after my one weakness, which shows your intelligence that has led to your position in this company. Kudos.
Poe sneers.
Poe: However, if you think this is over, you are sadly mistaken. For you see, Davin Moreland, my quest for your title and your blood has just begun. While you attacked a weakness, I created one within you. Tell me, how does it feel to be in severe pain every time you take a breath? Do you think of me and the pain I have and will continue to inflict upon you every time you draw a breath? Breath deeply…Champ for one day you will breathe no more as champion at my hands. I will leave you in the center of that ring broken and defeated, just like I have all those who ever stood before me.
Poe breathes deeply.
Poe: Ah, that’s nice. Isn’t it…Champ?
SG: Um…Master?
Poe: Yes, goddess?
SG: You left out a bunch of the judges. *Selena leafs through a book*
Poe: I have not sinned against those judges.
SG: yeah, I see that. Most of these judges are against destroying food and gay sex.
Poe: They are indeed a bit outdated.
Poe looks back at the camera.
Poe: I suppose I should address my upcoming match against this Strebor Nhoj of the Four Norsemen.
Poe thinks.
Poe: You may appear Norse, but you are not a true Norseman. Valhalla does not await you my friend. For you see, I plan on delivering you to Hel herself so she may feast on the marrow in your bones. You may think you have a shot against me, me being in my present condition. Trust me when I say this, I plan on making this a very short match. See you Wednesday Strebor Nhoj. May Hel have mercy on your wretched soul…
Selena cozys up to Poe in the camera.
SG: Nevermore.
Poe grins wickedly.
Poe: Namaste.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:21:42 GMT -5
*Stank wakes from his nap in the back room of the Destroyitarium. He hears out front, applause, then seconds later the bartender on a mic.*
B - Ladies and gentlemen, we are privileged to have with us tonight... LUCKY and the MODSQUADS!
Stank - What the fuck?
*Stank rises from the couch, walks through the door, and out to the front of the Destroyitarium. A small gathering of folks occupy the bar area, including an intoxicated Firewoman seated at the bar, Jenna Fischer next to her, and Shannon the barmaid. Stank looks over at the occupied tables, as the lights dim and a spotlight shines down on Lucky, Modprime, plus Modsquads 002 through Underdo- I mean... Modsquad 004. They are all dressed in shiny blue suits. Lucky begins to sing acapella.*
L - In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps toniiiiight, In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the lion sleeps toniiiight. Ee-eeeeeee-ee-ee-aee-um-um-aweeeh
M1-4 - Aweemoweh,Aweemoweh, Aweemoweh, Aweemoweh, Aweemoweh, Aweemoweh, Aweemoweh, Aweemoweh
*Stank stands there incredulous for a few moments. He then starts over towards Firewoman.*
Stank - Un FUCKING believable.
FW - I know, right? I had NO idea Lucky could sin-
Stank - I mean YOU! In here!
FW - Oh. Jameson's. Have one?
Stank - Get. Out... Now.
FW - But I haven't finished my drink? And Lucky is just getting star-
Stank - EVERYBODY OUT! RIGHT NOW!
*The singing stops. The lights cut back on. Everyone turns and stares at Stank.*
Stank - Do I LOOK like I'm KIDDING? GET THE FUCK OUT!
FW - My drin-
Stank - TAKE IT with YOU! It's the LAST gift you will EVER get from me. And tell your BOY DH MAGNUSSON, there will be NO mercy from me! NONE! Now get the fuck out BEFORE I THROW you out on your ass!
FW -
Stank - And you can SAVE that dirty look for someone who GIVES a damn.
<Fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:22:20 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland gets an OOWF-Mobile alert on his Sprint PCS Treo. He batistalaughs, followed by a string of expletives. He walks to the Designated Run DEA Interview Area and yells some more* DM: MOONBEAM! SFJ420: *from the other room* Are you fucking serious? DM: Moonbeam, it appears that this is going to be "Cut Promos on Davin Moreland" week. Unfotunately, Moonbeam will have to be prepared, and go easy on the sticky-icky. SFJ420: *wanders red-eyed into the room* Dude...wait...what? DM: Fuck, never mind Moonbeam. Get Moonbeam's mic. SFJ420: *from another room* I can't find it! DM: It's where Moonbeam fucking left it from the last promo! SFJ420: Do what now? DM: IT'S ON THE FUCKING COUCH! OW! SFJ420: *comes back into the room with her mic* You don't have to yell. DM: Will Moonbeam hurry the fuck up please? SFJ420: *sighs* Fine. I'm here with the Greatest Wrestler Ever to Walk the Face of the Earth, and the Greatest 2-Time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion of All-Time Dav...You know, this name is getting ridiculous to say, Davin. DM: Does Davin Moreland pay Moonbeam to think? Now, Moonbeam will continue and address Davin Moreland properly. SFJ420: Alright man, alright. I'm here with the Greatest Wrestler Ever to Walk the Face of the Earth, and the Greatest 2-Time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion of All-Time Davin Moreland. Davin, you interrupted me puffin' a sess again for something. What? DM: Moonbeam's insolence will not be tolerated. Davin Moreland rescued Moonbeam from sucking dicks for weed. Moonbeam should be thankful and stop being such an uppity bitch. SFJ420: That was mean. DM: *batistalaughs* Ow. Davin Moreland is mean, but truthful. Davin Moreland is brutally honest. Davin Moreland tells it like it is. Davin Moreland doesn't deal in spin. SFJ420: *rolls her eyes* You have something to say, right? DM: Davin Moreland does, Moonbeam. Davin Moreland thanks Moonbeam for Moonbeam's fantastic interviewing skills. Davin Moreland has found it necessary to address yet again someone ELSE who Davin Moreland isn't wrestling this week, and that's Poe the Kid Toucher. In fact, Monkeys in the Truck? Let's go to the video tape. Poe: Davin Moreland, congratulations. You defeated me in the center of the ring. That indeed puts you in rare company. You went after my one weakness, which shows your intelligence that has led to your position in this company. Kudos. Davin Moreland thanks Poe the Kid Toucher for Poe the Kid Toucher's sincere compliment. Defeating Poe the Kid Toucher isn't all THAT rare, especially not for Davin Moreland; but perhaps Poe the Kid Toucher meant tapping out in the middle of the ring like a little bitch? Because that indeed is a bit more rare. Davin Moreland will assume Poe the Kid Toucher meant that. Monkeys? Poe sneers. Poe: However, if you think this is over, you are sadly mistaken. DM: *in a terrible Rocky Balboa voice* NOTHIN' IS OVER! SFJ420: *in an even worse Mickey voice* YOU'RE LOSIN' ROCK! YOUR LOSIN' EVERYTHING! DM: CUT ME MICK! CUT ME! SFJ420: *in a much more believeable Adrian voice* ROCKY! DM: YO ADRIAN! *Both laugh, Davin laughs and swears, and he nods to the camera, cuing the truck* For you see, Davin Moreland, my quest for your title and your blood has just begun. DM + SFJ420: *in beautiful harmony* We've only just begun to live, White lace and promises A kiss for luck and we're on our way. And yes, We've just begun. Before the rising sun we fly, So many roads to choose We start our walking and learn to run. And yes, We've just begun. Sharing horizons that are new to us, Watching the signs along the way, Talking it over just the two of us, Working together day to day Together. (Together...) And when the evening comes we smile, So much of life ahead We'll find a place where there's room to grow, And yes, We've just begun. While you attacked a weakness, I created one within you. DM: Ah, Poe the Kid Toucher is wrong. LD Williams caused this weakness within Davin Moreland by throwing Davin Moreland down the stairs from the top of the arena on the night Davin Moreland made history. The only difference now is that Davin Moreland is sporting the Diamond Dallas Page tape on the ribs. Of course, if Poe the Kid Toucher had done proper scouting, Poe the Kid Toucher wouldn't need the tape to do Poe the Kid Toucher's work for Poe the Kid Toucher. Tell me, how does it feel to be in severe pain every time you take a breath? DM: It hurts like a bitch, Poe the Kid Toucher; but let Davin Moreland ask Poe the Kid Toucher something. Poe the Kid Toucher? DM: How's Yer Ankle? How does it feel not to be able to use your own legs to walk, or even stand? How does it feel to know that EVERYONE now knows Poe's weakness, and will exploit it throughout his career? Alexander Arn Anderson Darling started it; and bah gawd...Davin Moreland is going to finish it. Davin Moreland won't be satisfied until they have to amputate that fucking foot. You're like the Zebra with the bad wheel, and I'm the Lion who's been in his share of fights - but will ALWAYS be able to pick off the Zebra with the bad wheel. Do you think of me and the pain I have and will continue to inflict upon you every time you draw a breath? Breath deeply… ChampDM: *breathes deeply, and winces a bit* Ahh...does Poe the Kid Toucher know what Davin Moreland thinks of, when Davin Moreland's broken ribs begin to hurt? Davin Moreland thinks of 3 things. First. Davin Moreland's ribs hurt a hell of a lot less than what's left of Poe's ankle. Second. Davin Moreland with four broken ribs made the *cough. batistalaugh. swear.* "Great" *clears throat* Poe the Kid Toucher tap like a little bitch in the middle of the ring. Tapped like a bitch in a title match? Some Legacy. And Third. *grabs his title belt and slings it over his shoulder. He feigns polishing it* Davin Moreland thinks of being the Greatest 2-Time OOWF World Heavyweight Champion of all-time; and a little bit of pain is nothing compared to the feeling of being the absolute best there ever was. Otherwise known as...a feeling Poe the Kid Toucher will never know. Let's wrap this up, Monkeys! for one day you will breathe no more as champion at my hands. I will leave you in the center of that ring broken and defeated, just like I have all those who ever stood before me. DM: Davin Moreland is confused. Davin Moreland is perplexed. Davin Moreland is confounded. Was it or was it not Poe the Kid Toucher who tapped like a little bitch in front of God and Everyone to embarrass yourself in the presence of such greatness as Davin Moreland? Did Poe the Kid Toucher have a stand-in? Is there an Imposter Poe the Kid Toucher? Should Davin Moreland call the authorities, to search for the REAL Poe the Kid Toucher? Poe breathes deeply. Poe: Ah, that’s nice. Isn’t it… Champ? DM: *breathes deeply, without wincing this time, and then starts to sniff at the air* Poe the Kid Toucher? It is beautiful. Does Poe the Kid Toucher Know why? Davin Moreland recognizes that smell. You've smelled it before Poe the Kid Toucher, haven't youland knows this smell. Does Poe the Kid Toucher? Probably not, because it alwways seems to radiate from Poe the Kid Toucher. The False Bravado? The pathetic attempts at intimidation. The relentless touching of an underage girl in an inappropriate manner...Oh sure, that one wasn't on camera; but we ALL know... DM: It smells like fear, Poe the Kid Toucher. Fear. Poe the Kid Toucher can't handle being systematically beaten and forced to tap out like a little bitch. Davin Moreland is the GOAT. Davin Moreland is the best Poe the Kid Toucher has ever been in the ring with. There is no shame in tapping like a little bitch to Davin Moreland. Davin Moreland has made better men than Poe the Kid Toucher tap like a little bitch. Davin Moreland will make better men than Poe the Kid Toucher tap like a little bitch in the future. DM: *takes off his sunglasses* Poe, don't worry about me, boy. I'm just fine. You want another shot? That's up to the bookerman. Lots of people want shots. I'll say this; you're going to have to improve dramatically if you want to beat me. I made you tap like a little bitch. That fact does not change. Davin Moreland Beat Poe by Submission to retain the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. That's how it will always read in the results. You're simply not on my level yet. Why not allow Moose to mentor you some more; you know, someone who has PROVEN himself in the OOWF. You have proven nothing, and continue to live on this reputation you gained in Japan. DM: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You may be in the heads of the Darlings; but I'm not a Darling. Who am I? I'm the guy who made you tap like a little bitch. This is a grown man's game, boy. You need to watch where you're standing, or the men will run you over. Again, if you think you can man up and not embarrass yourself again? DM: Come get you some...boy. *fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:22:48 GMT -5
*OOWF House Show – Black Earth, WI*
Fans from all over Wisconsin have escaped the cold and come to Black Earth for a special OOWF house show. They’ve just seen the epic Fumunda Mang defeat Kiwi Joo in a tune-up for his match against Takaken Gryfon in the first round of the invitational. Mang has just made it through the curtain in the back while Joo is still recuperating in the ring and the lights in the arena go off. “There Can Be Only One” hits and the crowd pops huge for a split second as a crowd is apt to do when one of the main roster members make an appearance at a house show, but then they realize who it is and they turn rabid with the booing. “Prelude 12/21” starts and the blue spotlight starts circling the arena and Alexander Darling steps out from the back in slow-motion, fuzzy coat complete douchebaggeryness. He takes in the atmosphere of the arena and seems to be reveling in it. He waits for the first song to end and then he starts making his way down the aisle as “Princes of the Universe” plays. He slides right under the bottom rope and circle behind Kiwi Joo who is just getting to his feet. Alex quickly lifts Kiwi up and plants him with a DARLING DRIVER. Kiwi may be dead and Alex slides him out of the ring. The song finally ends and all of the lights are back on and Alex is about to take his perch on top of the turnbuckle when he stops and shakes his head. He slides out of the ring and starts looking under the ring and he starts to slowly pull out a ladder. He gets it out and slides it into the ring. He sets it up and takes the mic.
Alexander: Hello unwashed masses of the frozen tundra in Wisconsin. You should all be thanking your lucky stars that someone as great as me has decided to grace you with my presence in the dead of winter. In a few days, just down the road in Springfield the first round of the OOWF Invitational will take place, but that isn’t what I’m here to talk to you about. I’ll get to Skurge in due time, but in case you unwashed masses don’t realize it, this is a ladder.
Alexander starts to climb up the ladder;
It was exactly a week ago at Dance of Death when Eric O’Mac and I finally faced off one-on-one. And exactly what I said would happen, did happen. I told everyone that when Eric wanted to show it, he could be one of the best in the world. And I also said that it wouldn’t matter because I’m better than he is. For almost an hour we went back-and-forth, and this time it was just the two of us. No cage. No other wrestlers. No gimmicks were needed. And it was I, Alexander Darling who got his hand raised.
Alexander gets to the top of the ladder and he stands straddling the top and he makes his douche bag pose. He smirks as he continues,
So then the moron in the back who runs this company thought it would be a good idea to put Eric and I back against each other. Well, no one has ever said Rick was the brightest man in the world and there was no chance Eric would allow himself to lose twice in 4 days. So we were introduced to one of these beauties. The ladder. Eric finally realized that he couldn’t beat me straight and clean, so let’s start adding things to make up the difference.
Alex takes a seat on the top of the ladder and he looks hard into the camera.
Eric, I’m not going to run and hide from you and the ladder. I won’t run and hide from you and tables. Hell, if you want to know the truth, I won’t run and hide from you if you want to introduce chairs to the mix. It all comes down to this Eric. I told you we were a lot more alike than you care to think about. We’ll go out there and put on the best matches possible, but times have changed. There was a point where Eric was looked at as one of the best pure wrestlers in this company.
That time has passed. There is a new group that occupies that the upper echelon of this company. The name is Run DEA. People around here are beginning to think that we are losing a step. They can come out and talk about being the best; talk about defeating us; claim that this is their ring; talk about becoming champions. Well all of you need to remember, it isn’t going to happen. We are Run DEA. We’ve been doing it our way for months and no one has been able to stop us. And no one will be able to. So, Eric…anytime you want more, you come get some. I’m right here waiting…
…
…
“COME ON MAN…Don’t Call It A Comeback” blasts over the sound system and the lights get low again. And YES, Eric O’Mac is here and he’s carrying a ladder of his very own…
*…To Be Continued (maybe?)*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:23:13 GMT -5
(Bryce Larson is SHOPPING~! at a local GNC when he runs into Crete)
BL: Wouldn't expect you to be in a place like this....
CTG: Citizen Larson, physical health is a mandate for continued excellence in my chosen field. The perception that shopping here for "buying Steroids" is a media-contrived fallacy only exacerbated by the strictures of some organizations' Wellness policies.
BL: Jeez, speak English!
CTG: If you can buy it here, it should be legal.... (checking labels) however, since this is an industry poorly understood by those who are not on the athletic end of the business.
BL: Do we even have a wellness policy?
CTG: at this level, you're well aware that many such leagues are "if you are well, we want you in the ring."
BL: (nods because it's true)
CTG: However I did need to speak to you about my up and coming opponent...
BL: They're jobbers
CTG: they're "Hometown heroes" and apparently well-known through NWA Wisconsin. If you've been through the area, I thought you might-
BL: Look man, I'm not a "Hero" (again with the quotes!) and I'm not your "Buddy" (quotes!) so you want any intel on these guys, forget it.
CTG: I would have hoped you would be more forthcoming on the matter. Best of luck to you at the show. (CTG gathers a couple of things and heads to the register)
BL: (grumbles as he continues to shop)
CTG: (putting his items on the counter) this should hold me for a time.
BJ Whitmer: (running the register) you might want to swap the Burn Fuel for CLA - that stuff works wonders
BL: (pauses, listening)
CTG: Obliged for the expert opinion, Citizen Whitmer.... tell me, are you fully retired now?
BJW: just spot shows anymore.... why do you ask?
CTG: (as he's swapping something out) tell me about Fumunda Mung... was he NWA Wisconsin?
BJW: Oh, him? You'll be fine, glad he's still getting work.
CTG: You're welcome to attend our show
BJW: I might do that, much obliged.
CTG: Good travels, good citizen, and your advice well-taken. (leaves the store)
BL: (walks up to the counter and drops his stuff there) that'll do it.
BJW: No problem, man (rings it all up)
BL: .... not gonna talk to me about wrestling?
BJW: Who are you, again?
BL: ..........................
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:23:46 GMT -5
<we get an opening shot of a barren windswept plain. Off in the distance we see four horses charging, their riders whipping them into a frenzy. When they get within a few hundred feet, the horses stop and one man dismounts and walks toward the camera. He looks around for a moment, the wind blowing his hair somewhat heroically, and finally he speaks>
At Mayhem Mid-Week I will prove that the Poor Norsemen are force to be reckoned for. Poe, I know you, you do not make Strebor Nhoj scare. Last time, you tap like girl. At Mayhem Mid-Week, the Norse Thunder will make you cry like little girl.
<Strebor comes a little closer to the camera>
And when done, I show Little girl with you what real man like. Get ready Poe, Strebor Nhoj, he is coming!
<Strebor gets walks back to his horse and climbs on and the four riders storm toward the camera riding right over it, sending us to black>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:24:15 GMT -5
*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room. SYB and The Amnesiac are still talking to Lt. Frank Drebin. Skurge, Fezzik, and Monkh are taking a short break from Rock Band to catch up on some OOWFTV with the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth… I’ll get to Skurge in due time... Skurge: Well would you look at that. I guess Alexis can’t even speak for herself. She needs her husband or her brother or whatever he is to speak for her. DM: Wait, didn’t you storm out of here recently? Skurge: Meh. I quietly stormed back in shortly thereafter. It’s almost like it never happened. DM: I see. Uh, so what do you think about Alexander Darling’s comment about you? Skurge: It makes no difference to me who does the talking, eh? I’m still going to take Alexis to the limit this Wednesday at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1 Live! From Springfield, WI. DM: Please tell me you know you’re not scheduled to face Alexis. Skurge: Of course I am. Go look at the card. DM: I have. You have to face Alexander. Skurge: Right. Back to Alexander. [to camera] Alexander, if you know what’s good for you, you won’t get involved in my match this week at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1 Live! From Springfield, WI. Whether it’s your sister or your wife I’m facing (and really, what’s up there, dude? You know that’s a fucked up relationship either way, right?), you need to stay oot of my business, or– DM: Skurge. Seriously. Shut up and read the card again. You’re not facing Alexis this week at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1 Live! From Springfield, WI. You’re facing Alexander. Skurge: Really? Let me see that. Huh. So I am. Well then, um…[to camera] Sorry for the harsh words, Alexis. Nothing personal. And Alexander, now I’m really pissed. You’ve got a match with me at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1 Live! From Springfield, WI, this week, and you cut a promo on Eric O’Mac? Not cool, kid. You want to look past me? That’s fine, but I wouldn’t go challenging people to matches that you might not make it to. See you Wednesday, hoser. *FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:24:45 GMT -5
Mele Kalikamuka is seen overseeing a luau, flanked by two fine coconut & grass skirt clad Hawaiian ladies on either side. A large Hawaiian man hands him a pole with two flaming ends, and nods to Mele in approval.
Mele then hoists the pole over his head, letting out a yell, and gets a positive response from the audience. The camera turns to Bryce Larson, sitting in the luau audience, alongside Erlana and Farrah.
Music starts up, and Mele hurls the pole into the air. It then becomes evident that Mele has spend way too much time on the mainland learning how to wrestle, and not enough time on the islands learning the traditions. The highlights prove this, as the flaming pole comes down, landing on the stage cover made from bamboo and grass! The stage is immediately engulfed in flames, and Mele makes a mad dash for the water. Luau attendents quickly put out the fire, and Mele's four Hawaiian ladies leave in disgust. The camera focuses on Bryce, sitting in between Farrah and Erlana, both smiling.
BL: Mele flew me out here for this?
E: Maybe he was making a statement.
F: Yeah, maybe he wanted to get in your head.
Both ladies laugh.
BL: Now it looks like I'm facing a burn victim at Mayhem, ladies. That was some statement!
The four Hawaiian ladies approach the American trio, and all seven leave in a limo, paid for by the Kalikamuka family.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:25:26 GMT -5
Biggs is sitting in an office, uh somewhere. There's a knock on the door.B: Come in. The door opens, and a three Japanese men wearing suits come in to the office.B: Can I help you gentlemen? The first man (hereafter, Japanese Guy 1) hands Biggs a business card, with this on the front.
and Japanese writing underneath where the name would be.B: I'm sorry, I can't read-- JG1: It does not matter. My associates and I are here because it has come to my employer's attention that you have been seeking information about some entertainers in Japan. B: Huh? JG1: Specifically, you have made a series of inquiries about talent that was previously employed at NOAH. B: Oh, yes! So do you have some informa-- JG1: We do indeed. We have information that you have reached the end of the.... trail. B: Huh? JG1: Maybe I did not say that right. My employer wishes to let you know that there is no further information, therefore your search is at an end. B: Are you employed by NOAH? JG1: No... But our employer does have a vested interest in that wrestling promotion, and in some of the talent. Our employer-- B: Okay, well, I appreciate you stopping by, but I think I'll be the judge of when I've exhausted a particular line of inquiry. JG1: Perhaps I am not making myself clear. Your current...line of inquiry is it? Is at an end. If you keep going further, I'm afraid it might be a ... dead end. B: Say...who is this employer of yours? JG1: That is none of your concern. B: Well, then I have no intention of changing my plan of inquiry into-- JG1: I was afraid you would not be in agreement with our request. Perhaps a more direct method will convince you. If you will excuse us Mr. Camera person... The ninja cam is "escorted" out the door by one of the other Japanese Guys, who shuts the door. The camera stays fixed on the door, as the sounds of some sort of disturbance can be heard from outside.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:26:06 GMT -5
**Matte is driving down the road, no cars other than his own are present. He starts drifting off at the wheel. When he pulls his head back up, he sees a sign.** **He reads the sign with concentration, then puts his focus back towards the road. He looks into the distance and sees none other than Moosehead Jack.** **He rubs his eyes to make sure he isn't seeing things. He blinks repeatedly; however, one of the blinks turns into a slight slumber. Seconds later, his eyes open.** Matte: AHHH~!!11ONE **Matte sees Moosehead Jack, just feet away, staring him in the eyes... Trying to intimidate him. Before Matte can react, the car CRASHES!** Matte: AHHH~!!11ONE **Matte wakes up. He is sitting against the hallway wall. He sighs a sigh of relief and closes his eyes once again and continues to dream of, of course, Moosehead Jack.** Matte: AHHH~!!11ONE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:26:32 GMT -5
*OOWF Backstage*
Standing in front of an old-school OOWF blue screen is Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson and she has a microphone. I wonder what she’s about to do.
OGM SJ: Hello to the entire non-gold medal having losers who have tuned in today to another exciting week of OOWF action. True it may only be exciting because of a select few people, but I have the honor and privilege of having 2 of those people join me right now. Two of the greatest wrestlers, hell two of the greatest people in this great country of ours and in no way, shape, or form are yucky Orientals.
Alexander steps into camera range first and just smirks before stepping to the other side of OGM SJ and allowing his sister, Alexis into the picture. Alexis is jumping up and down on the balls of her feet and looking really hyper. OGM SJ is about to turn to Alexander to ask him a question when he waves her off and points at his sister. OGM SJ nods as she realizes this is time for a little Lexie Darling promo.
OGM SJ: Alexis, tomorrow is the first round of the OOWF Invitational.
Alexis: You’re damn right it is Shawnie. And let me speak on that.
Shawn turns to look at Alexander, but he just shrugs as Alexis places her hand on Shawn’s chin and has her turn to face her.
As I was saying, the by gawd almighty OOWF Invitational starts tomorrow and GMtR showed that can rub two brain cells together and come up with a good idea. Because he put me, Alexis Darling, that’s A*L*EX*IS* Darling, into the tournament. 31 other wrestlers from around the world.
OGM SJ: So, what do you think you’re chances are?
Alexis: I have a 3.125% chance.
Alex gets a smile as he gets the sense of what’s to come. Shawn just turns her head to Alex and not sensing any help coming from him she turns back to Alexis.
OGM SJ: Okay, so those are your literal chances, but you must think you can do better than that, don’t you.
Alexis: Of course Shawnie. Do I look like a moron? I was in the top of my class back at West Palm High. Ranked 6th out of 373 students. You know what percent that puts me in? No, I doubt you do…
OGM SJ: Actually it puts you into the…
Alexis: It was rhetorical. Let me tell you what it makes me. It makes me smarter than 98.39% of the people I went to school with. You put that 98.39% of higher intelligence with the actual 3.125% chance of winning and it puts us at 101.515% chance of winning this Invitational.
OGM SJ: Alexis, not to contradict.
Alexis: Then don’t. I’m not done yet. Believe me, you’ll understand by the time I’m done. So, in any singles match, you have a 50% chance of winning. But I’m a Darling and we don’t follow the rules of literal math. So, we take that 50% and add in a Darling Factorial and that brings us up to 69%...
Alexander: *batistalaughs*
OGM SJ: *giggles*
Alexis: Oh shut up you two. Wait….two. I knew I was forgetting something. Shawn, you will be accompanying me tomorrow night.
Shawn turns to look behind her and Alexander is trying to hold back his laughter.
OGM SJ: Me?
Alexis: Yes you. You are Run DEA, are you not?
OGM SJ: Of course I am, through and through. But I’ve never.
Alexis: That’s a lie. Hell, I know that’s a lie.
OGM SJ is now not only gold, but also she’s a bit red as well.
Anyways, since you are Run DEA and you will be accompanying me tomorrow, which doubles the advantage I already have over…who am I facing again?
Alexander: That would be “The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard.
Alexis: Ugh. He’s gonna be one of those perverted type fella’s isn’t he?
OGM SJ: Fella, really?
Alexis: Don’t mock my use of the English language. That’s not what I’m pontificating on tonight. Back to my chances. So, we were at 69%, not a word you two, and then you walking to the ring doubles that to 138%. You add in the Darling Factorial and my superior intelligence quadratic formula and I believe we’re at a 392.65% chance of winning my first round match.
OGM SJ: And the rest of the tournament?
Alexis: God, stop rushing me.
Alexander: That’s what she said.
Alexis: Who?
Alexander: What?
Alexis: You said…never mind. So, with regards to the rest of the Invitational, well, in the 2nd round I’ll either be facing Capslock who has already proven he’s too dumb to keep up with the Darlings or I’ll be facing…
For the first time Alexis’ hyper attitude disappears as she looks over at her brother. He just looks back and he crosses his arms as if he’s waiting to see what she’ll say.
And the other, well the other knows what it’s like to be pinned by a Darling so that will be nothing new to him.
Alexander: I don’t think it was new when I pinned him either.
Alexis: Brother dear, can we not do this here and now? We’ve been through this.
Alexander: Of course sister Darling. So, once you get passed the second round, you do realize who awaits you next, don’t ya?
Alexis: I believe I have some idea brother. And if that were to happen, my 392.65% chance gets thrown out the window, because that match would be 1000% great. But let’s not look too far ahead. 3 weeks is a long time and my chances change on a minute by minute basis.
OGM SJ: They do?
Alexis: Of course they do Shawnie. I have a lot to teach you. We can start with where I got the 69% chance of victory just due to being a Darling.
Alexis puts her arm around OGM SJ as they walk off.
Alexander turns and looks at the camera.
Alexander: Skurge, don’t think I’ve overlooking you. I know exactly what I’m looking at when I see your name. Someone who just isn’t as good as me. Don’t feel bad, not many people are. The names of people I’ve beaten in this company is long. You’ll just be another name. Hell, you won’t even be the best Canadian on it. Sorry about your damn luck, Skurge. Maybe another time. And in case you forget…BOOYAH, Bitch!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:26:52 GMT -5
*Fear Us, with Wally, are sitting in the Destroyitarium*
WBK: I was thinking, if you guys meet in the 2nd round...
OBJ(drinks, belches): Australian for not likely, given the story lines.
LDW: Yeah, and I doubt they'd book a tag team wrestler to win the championship...
*Kayfabe throws a shoe at each of them*
LD: Hey, that's Momma's gimmick!
WBK: As I was saying, you guys could put on a 5 star match.
OBJ: Right.
LD: I'd look forward to it.
WBK: Leaving the winner in rough shape. Have you considered a coin flip followed by a Fingerpoke of Doom?
Nash: Hey, that was totally a shoot!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:27:11 GMT -5
Phantos & Lucios are in front of the OOWF Banner
Lucios: Fear us. You had better be thankful for the Inviational. That gives you a break from facing The Measuring Stick.
Phantos: Unlike last year, we will be making a deep run into this tournament. And when one of us wins it, we're cashing in that Championship Opportunity IMMEDIATELY. AGAINST YOU!
Lucios: So keep haivng your fun with your midget friends. No matter how you disparage us, you know deep in your soul, that you could never Measure Up to The Division Killers
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:27:31 GMT -5
The scene opens up at the converted warehouse that is Storm Wrestling Academy. The camera zooms into the ring to show Tyson Kincaid running through drills with the students under the watchful eye of Lance Storm.
TK: Alright, guys. Once more.
One by one, each student runs the ropes and takes a shoulder tackle from Kincaid, each one landing on the mat with a thud. After the last student takes his turn, Storm steps in.
LS: Good job, everyone. That’s enough for today. Hit the showers.
The hopeful wrestlers leave the ring and hobble out of frame. Storm turns to Kincaid.
LS: So, you just can’t get enough of hurting my students, can you?
TK: What are you talking about? I was actually going pretty easy on them with those tackles.
LS: I wasn’t talking about them. I meant Chris Evans. First you put Firewoman in the hospital and now you’re wrestling him this week on Mayhem. I can tell you want to injure him.
TK: He needs to learn his place. If he wants follow Firewoman around like a puppy dog, he can suffer the same fate as his master.
LS: Speaking of her, how is she doing?
Tyson shoots Lance a hard look.
LS: Look, just because I don’t agree with some of the choices she’s made doesn’t mean I don’t still care about her.
TK: Fair enough. But I really don’t know how she is and to be honest, I don’t care. I did what I needed to do and now the ball is in her court. If she comes back to OOWF and shows remorse for her actions, then my job will be complete. If not, I’ll just put her right back in that hospital bed.
LS: Alright. Just be careful you don’t end up in ICU yourself.
Kincaid snorts and rolls his eyes as Storm leaves the ring. Tyson stands in silence for a few moments before leaning over to exit the ring. Suddenly, he groans and falls backwards. He sits in the corner of the ring clutching his chest briefly before shaking it off and rolling underneath the bottom rope as the scene fades.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:27:56 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 1 Live! From Springfield, Wisconsin
Tournament of Champions – Round 1[/u]
FIREWOMAN vs. LD WILLIAMS
LD Williams, one half of the OOWF world tag team champions is announced first and makes his way to the ring to the cheers of the crowd. He steps between the ropes and holds his tag title high in the air then hands it off to the referee. The OOWF Intercontinental champion Firewoman comes out, and one look tells you she is clearly not one hundred percent. She comes to the ring and holds her title up and winces in pain a little. LD notices this and smirks. Fire hands the title to the referee and turns to Williams, the referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. The two move to the middle of the ring and lock up, and Williams immediately catches Fire with a knee to the ribs that sends her to the mat. Before Williams can follow up, Fire sweeps Williams legs from beneath him and sends him to the mat. She immediately tries to lock Williams into a triangle choke. Fire gets it locked in, but Williams gets to his feet and lessens the pressure some. LD grabs Fire and picks her up off the mat and SLAMS her to the canvas breaking the hold! Fire arches her back in pain, and is seen gasping for breath. Williams shakes off the effects of the choke and waits for Fire to get to her hands and knees, then runs across the ring and kicks her right in the ribs sending her between the ropes to the floor. Fire sits up on the outside grabbing her ribs and gasping for breath. The referee leans between the ropes and ask her if she wants to continue, since we are a family program, we cannot print her response. LD reaches between the ropes and grabs Fire by the hair and tries to pull her back into the ring, but Fire reaches up and NAILS LD with a right cross, then pulls him between the ropes to the floor. Fire pulls Williams to his feet and sends him into the guard rail, then charges and catches him with a boot to the face that sends Williams backward over the railing into the crowd. Fire pulls LD to his feet and hooks him and suplexes him over the guard rail and onto the floor. Fire hits the floor hard too, and grabs her ribs in pain. Fire gets to her feet first and shoots LD back into the ring and follows, and falls across him for a cover and a two count. Fire pulls Williams to a sitting position and drives several knees between his shoulder blades. Fire pulls Williams to his feet and connects with a spinning heel kick that sends Williams staggering back to the corner. Fire charges in for a monkey flip, but Williams catches her and runs out of the corner and delivers a devastating SPINE BUSTER in the middle of the ring. Williams floats over and covers, but somehow Fire kicks out at two. LD pulls Fire to a sitting position and connects with several stiff kicks to the back. Then locks her in a sitting abdominal stretch, keeping all his weight on top of her, while also elbowing her in the ribs every chance he gets. The referee asks several times if Fire wants to quit and each time she refuses. Williams keeps up the pressure and it actually looks like Fire is going to pass out from either the pain or the lack of oxygen, but she slowly starts inching her way to the ropes. Just before Fire reaches the middle rope, Williams breaks the hold, slams Fire back onto the mat, and drops a knee across her chest and covers, and gets another two count. Williams pulls Fire back to a sitting position and traps her in a stump puller. Fire howls in pain and the referee is right there checking on her, but she will not quit. Fire reaches up in desperation and rakes Williams eyes forcing the break and drawing a warning from the referee. Fire gets to her feet using the ropes and Williams charges, but Fire ducks and back body drops LD to the apron. Williams tries a running clothesline, but Fire falls to the mat and sweeps Williams legs, LD falls forward and SLAMS his head into the ring post! LD falls to the floor stunned and sporting a nice gash on his head. Fire rolls back to the middle of the ring, struggling to catch her breath. She seems content to take a count out here tonight. The referee starts the count and Williams gets to his feet at six and takes a few wobbly steps and catches himself on the apron. The referee hits nine and LD rolls back into the ring just avoiding the count out. Fire is on her feet and she pulls LD to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a kick to the midsection, then hooks his arms and hits a FIREDRIVER! Fire hooks the leg, one……two, NO! LD rolls his shoulder. Fire pulls Williams up once again and sends him to the ropes and hits a release belly to belly suplex that sends LD flying, but Fire pays the price as well, hitting the mat hard again, and once again coming up clutching her ribs. Fire stalks Williams, waiting for him to get to his feet, as he stands and turns around, Fire POPS him in the mouth with a super kick! Fire covers again, and once again can only get two! Fire shows a little frustration, then heads to the top rope! It looks like she is setting up for the BFE! She steadies herself on the top rope, but Williams was playing possum! He jumps to his feet, and runs to the corner, and climbs to the second rope to get under Fire! Fire tries to fight out of it with several shots to the face, but Williams fights through it and POWERBOMBS FIRE OFF THE TOP ROPE! Fire hits the mat HARD and her eyes kind of roll back into her head, LD holds on and keeps Fire folded in half, and gets the three count. WINNER in 15:14 – LD Williams
After the match LD rolls out of the ring and heads to the back, Firewoman gets to her feet and takes the Intercontinental title from the referee, then immediately falls to the mat. The referee tries to help her to her feet, but she shoves him away and rolls out of the ring where Lucky holds her up and helps her to the back.
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. OUTBACK JACK
Outback Jack comes out first, and much like his partner, he gets a nice ovation from the crowd. Jack makes his way to the ring and steps between the ropes and waits for the OOWF Onslaught champion. He has a pretty short wait as the OOWF Onslaught champion, Seamus McNasty is announced next, and he heads to the ring. This match is a regular match, they do not need to obey Onslaught match rules. The two meet in the center of the ring and bump knuckles, the referee calls for the bell, and they immediately start throwing haymakers! The fight spills against the ropes and Seamus ducks a left from Jack and catches him with an uppercut that sends him between the ropes to the floor. Seamus follows Jack and slams him face first against the apron, then scoops him up and plants him on the floor. Seamus climbs to the apron and tries a running elbow drop, but Jack moves out of the way and Seamus gets nothing but concrete. Jack catches Seamus with a boot to the mouth, then pulls him up and rolls him into the ring. Jack steps between the ropes and waits for Seamus to get to his hands and knees, then connects with a running kick to the jaw that snaps Seamus’ head back and sends him back to the mat. Jack covers, but Seamus rolls his shoulder at two. Jack pulls Seamus to his feet and sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. Seamus hits the mat, and bounces right up and Jack connects with a kick to the gut, then sends Seamus into the corner shoulder first. As Seamus staggers backward, Jack grabs him and hits a t-bone suplex! Seamus lands awkwardly on his neck, and Jack quickly covers, but once again Seamus manages to roll his shoulder. Jack gets to his feet and waits in the corner. Seamus slowly struggles to stand and Jack charges, but Seamus side steps him and sends Jack into the corner HARD sternum first. Jack hits the turnbuckle and staggers backward a few steps and Seamus KILLS him with a clothesline to the back of the head that sends Jack into the second turnbuckle face first. Seamus gets a running start and connects with a kick to the back of Jack’s head. Jack slumps out of the corner and Seamus pulls him to the middle of the ring and locks him in a Rocking Horse Submission! Jack grunts in pain, but will not give up. Seamus slams his head into the mat several times, then releases his legs, but keeps hold of his arms and hits a CURB STOMP! Well that will not make Fire or the Darlings happy. Seamus rolls Jack over and covers, but Jack just manages to roll his shoulder at two. Seamus pulls him off the mat and shoves him into the corner and follows him in with a clubbing clothesline. Seamus sets Jack on the top rope and climbs up and hooks him for a superplex, but Jack fights him off with shots to the gut, then grabs his head and slams him with a head butt. Seamus falls off the top rope, dazed. Jack climbs to the top rope and leaps and hits a FLYING DOUBLE KNEE DROP!! OH MY GOD! Seamus is dead. Call the paramedics, it’s over. Jack covers, this is academic. One, two, thre….NO! HOLY SHIT! Seamus kicked out! Jack can’t believe it. He pulls Seamus to his feet and sets him up for a pile driver, but Seamus escapes by standing up with Jack over his shoulders. Seamus keeps hold of Jack and starts spinning, then stops and DRIVES Jack to the mat with an Alabama Slam! Jack’s head slams against the mat, but Seamus is a little dizzy from all that spinning and falls to one knee and takes a few seconds to recover before he falls on Jack. The referee is in position and counts two before Jack reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. Seamus kicks Jack out of the ring and follows him to the floor. Jack catches Seamus with a shot to the gut, and tries to whip him into the guard rail, but Seamus reverses it and catches Jack with a drop toe-hold that sends him shoulder and neck first into the steel. Jack winces in pain and when he gets to his feet, his arm dangles lifelessly. Seamus grabs Jack and shoots him into the ring, then whips him to the ropes. Jack shows he was playing a little possum and catches Seamus with a kick to the chops that stands him up. Jack grabs Seamus and sets him up, oh no, he hits the CHOMP! Remember when I said Seamus was dead earlier? Well this time I mean it. Jack falls on Seamus and covers, one, two, Seamus gets his foot on the bottom rope just before the three. Folks I cannot believe it. And neither can Outback Jack. Jack pulls a barely conscious Seamus to his feet and sends him into the corner. Jack charges, but Seamus regroups and hits him with the KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT (KTFU – a right hook to the temple)! Jack staggers out of the corner and Seamus grabs him and lifts him CELTIC CROSS! Seamus pounces on Jack and locks him in a cross face! Jack struggles to free himself, but the ropes are too far away. Seamus leans back with all his weight, threatening to tear Jack’s head off his shoulders, and finally Jack has had enough and is forced to tap. WINNER in 16:11 – Seamus McNasty
After the match, Seamus and Jack meet in the center of the ring, and once again bump knuckles before going their separate ways.
OOWF Invitational – Round 1[/u]
POE vs. STREBOR NHOJ
This next match is a first round match in the OOWF Invitational. Davis Hightower is YOUR referee. Strebor Nhoj of the Four Norsemen is in the ring. Every time a fan shouts at him he shouts “HUSS!” at them.
Suddenly the lights go out. “Miseria Cantare” hits as the stage lights on fire. Poe rises up through the stage with Selena clinging to his leg. Poe pulls off his trademark bloody towel and spits red mist into the air before making his way to the ring.
Selena makes her way to her corner as Poe climbs (gingerly) up the ring steps and climbs over the top rope. As Selena gets to her corner, Strebor Nhoj is flicking her tongue at her with a sick grin. Selena cuts her eyes at him and we hear her say “Freak.”
Poe stands in the corner, visibly supporting himself with the ropes. Strebor Nhoj makes his way to the center of the ring pointing his finger and shouting. “I break you ankle! You! I make tap!! HA HA you quit like woman!”
Davis Hightower calls for the bell. Strebor Nhoj looks at Hightower and then turns back to Poe. Poe springs from the corner and…HIEROGLYPH kick to the face! Strebor Nhoj’s feet take to the air and he lands on the back of his neck. His body remains stiff for a second before flopping down to the mat. Poe kneels over him, giving the crucifix signal before placing his hand on Nhoj’s chest. Hightower counts 1…2…3. WINNER BY PINFALL in :15 - POE
After the match, Poe gingerly leaves the ring with Selena taking his arm. We hear Selena say to Poe “I swear that dude looks familiar.”
THE AMNESIAC vs. LUCIOS
Lucios and Amnesiac circle each other as we get underway. L charges and gets in a couple of rights before TA can fend him off. Power moves from L. Fall away Slam. Running power slam. Repeated forearm smashes to the back. L hoists him up for a press slam, but TA slides off and catches L with a dropkick. L stumbles into a corner, where TA follows up with a handspring elbow. TA hip tosses L out of the corner. Double arm DDT. TA tries a cover, but barely gets a 1 count. L gets to his feet and is met with a flying burrito. TA kips up, but L blocks a slam attempt and hits a gut wrench suplex. He traps TA in an abdominal stretch. After a few minutes of struggling, TA starts to go limp. L hits a standing belly to belly suplex and covers for a 1 count. TA pops up and catches L off guard with a backdrop. German Suplex. Springboard back elbow and L goes down. TA locks in the anaconda vice, but L refuses to tap out. L uses his power advantage to break the hold. Both men to their feet. TA with a kick to the gut. Axe kick and L goes to the mat again. TA locks in a Cattle Mutilation, but L is able to inch to the ropes and force another break. L slides out of the ring to recuperate. TA follows him and they begin to brawl on the arena floor. TA’s head gets rammed into the ring post. BORDER TOSS THROUGH THE MICRONESIAN ANNOUNCE TABLE! L drags TA’s corpse into the ring. He goes down to make the cover. 1..2.. and L pulls TA up by the mask. The referee admonishes him, but L continues to administer punishment. High Delay, Slingshot and Gordbuster Suplexes, and TA falls to the mat. L follows Suplex School up with a huge Hogan Leg drop. Rather than make the cover, L goes to the top rope? L is posing and then jumps off with a fist drop, but NOBODY’s HOME! TA rolls out of the way, and L crashes to the mat, holding his right arm. TA pounces, wringing the arm in an arm bar, then wrapping it around the rope and pulling down. Hammerlock and TA hits a Russian leg sweep ONTO the hammer locked arm. L is in serious pain. TA sets up PURE AMNESIA, but L is able to block it and toss TA into the corner. TA springs out and L hits a Left handed Black Hole Slam! 1…2.. and TA is up again. L still favoring the right arm, whips TA into the ropes. TA ducks the clothesline and hits a neck breaker. BURNING HAMMER! L is struggling to get to his feet. TA whiffs on a super kick and L catches him from behind in a cobra clutch! He tries to force TA to the mat to lock in the death grip, but the right arm gives out and TA is able to reverse it into another hammerlock. L backs them into a corner and TA breaks the hold. L reverses a whip into the corner and sends TA crashing into the turnbuckles. L charges in and TA leaps over him BRISCOE ROLLUP! 1…2…3! WINNER in 7:34, The Amnesiac
CHRIS COLE vs. DAMON WRATH
The lights dim and Dream Theater’s “The Mirror” blares out of the intercom, strobe lights and fog begin and out storms Damon Wrath. Looking focused and determined Wrath ignores the boos from the crowd as he steps though the ropes. “Ladies in gentleman, the next bout is a “ “ match first in the in the ring, hailing from Tombstone Arizona, Damon Wrath” The crowd gives Damon a big round of boos and “Master of Puppets s” drowns them out and out steps Chris ”Main Event” Cole. Cole steps to the edge of the entrance ramp and flails his arm, as he plays air guitar along to his music. “And making his way to the ring from…” “ Stop, just stop my music” Cole interrupts “Everyone knows who I am, all these rednecks, white trash, blue balls, Bubbas here in Springfield know, love me or hate me…they must admit, I’m pretty damn good…and now Damon, you’re about to find out.” Cole makes his way up the ring steps as Damon smiles and glares out him…the bell sounds and off we go…
Both men tie up in a collar and elbow, pushing each other around the ring, jockeying for position. Cole finally backs Wrath into the corner. Referee calls for the break…Cole delivers a knife edge chop that echoes through the building. The crowd gives the necessary “whooooo”. Cole grins and delivers two more quick chops to Damon’s reddening chest.
That’s enough Damon grabs Cole and quickly changes places with him, Damon then proceeds to shoulder smash Cole in the mid section…after breaking at the 4 count Damon backs out of the corner and Cole slumps to the ground. Damon picks Cole up for gut-wrench suplex…Cole bounces off the mat. Damon quickly attacks Cole with a series of elbow drops…followed by his WrathXface (cross-face).
Chris Cole is in trouble…his face tells the story, he reaches out, is he going to tap? His hand goes up…wait he digs deep down and reaches out and grabs the rope…1, 2, 3, 4…referee steps in and begins to move Damon off of Cole…Damon begins to threaten the ref…the ref is not backing down…he points to his shirt and reminds Damon that he is in charge…
Cole meanwhile has recovered and as Damon turns around Cole springs up from his knees and catches Wrath with a clothesline from hell, nearly ripping Damon’s head off…Cole begins to return the punishment now with knees to the head…Damon tries to cover up but the clothesline really dazed him…Cole Picks him up and hits him with a swinging neck breaker…
Cole is headed for the high rent district…what’s he going to do? Ohhhh Cole hits a frog splash off the top rope. Both men are down. Cole is grabbing his rips, Damon is bent over looking like a bug on a windshield…Ref starts the count…1…2…3…4…both men starting to stir…5…6…7…Cole is up and staggering…8…
Wrath joins him in the center of the ring…they’re trading punches, Wrath, Cole, Wrath, Cole…this thing has broken down to a slug fest…both men standing toe to toe…out of nowhere Wrath hits his Lights OUT…Oh my God, call his next of kin Chris Cole may be dead…That’s the thing with Wrath and his MMA background…he can strike at any time…folks we need a medic out here…Cole is going to need a good dentist. Damon for the cover….1…..2....he kicks out…
How in the hell did he do that…he must be running on instinct, because he has to be out on his feet…Wrath can’t believe it…he turns to the ref again and starts to scream to him to count faster…the ref holds up the universal 2 sign and yells back at Damon…Damon picks Cole up and Cole come up and reverses the hold into a Cross-face Chickenwing. Turnabout is fair play and Damon now shows the pain in his face…Wrath turns into Cole, kicking Cole into the chest and sending him to the mat…You gotta think Cole just hasn’t recovered from that Lights Out to make that Cross-face count…
Cole comes after Wrath, grabbing him in a side headlock, he really wrenches in on it. Wrath pushes Cole off into the ropes, shoulder block, down go Wrath, and we are back to the headlock, Wrath reverses, Cole changes it to an arm bar, Wrath ducks and under to deliver his own headlock, Cole picks up Damon and comes down with a knee breaker…Wrath releases the hold and Cole floats over to reapply the Cross-face…both men showing a little of their wrestling skills in that exchange.
Wrath gets his fingers up to pry the Cross face off…Wrath turns it into some kind of wristlock…he twist back on Chris’ wrist…that backs Cole up...both men make their way back to a standing position. Wrath grips the wristlock and Cole stands up on his toes in pain…Damon backs Chris into the far turnbuckle and twist his arm and delivers his knee to Cole’s midsection…Cole bends over in pain. Wrath grabs Cole and Bulldogs him out of the corner. Damon for the cover…1….2 and Chris is out. Damon slams his hands down on the mat in frustration.
Cole is first to his feet and grabs Wrath and slings him into the ropes…catches him with a twisting power-slam and covers Wrath for a quick 2 count…both men once again pull themselves up and warily look at each other…
Wrath closed that gap between the two men, grabbing Cole he slips around to deliver a release suplex…Cole is staggered, Damon smells blood, picks Cole up again…sidewalk slam, Wrath for the cover…1, 2…Cole kicks out…Damon again on the offensive, grabs Cole by the hair and set’s him up for a Northern Lights suplex…Cole blocks it once….Wrath goes for it again…blocked, Cole delivers a sling shot suplex that leaves Wrath planted in the middle of the ring…shades of Tully Blanchard, Cole now struggles to his feet and brings Wrath up with him…Cole snaps off a DDT that plants Damon like Momma’s tulips in the spring…he goes for the cover…1…2…2 and ½ and Damon kicks out…
Both men on their knees grabbing at each other…Cole delivers an uppercut that staggers Wrath back…Wrath rebounds with a poke to the eye…Cole reaching both hands to his eye…Referee steps in to abolish Wrath….Wrath pushes him out of the way, to get to Cole…Cole slips out of Damon’s grasp and delivers a back stabber…ohhh Damon is hurt…he reaches for his own back as he flounces around on the mat…
Cole grabs Wrath and set’s him up for Headliner…POW…Damon’s head bounces off the mat…Cole goes for the cover….1, 2, 3….Cole does it! He gets the win! What a hard fought victory for the Main Event! WINNER in 12:11 – Chris Cole
STANK vs. DH MAGNUSSON
“Skin” comes over the sound system, and Stank is greeted at the top of the ramp by a huge ovation. Stank looks a bit agitated, but ends up slapping hands with fans as he climbs into the ring, where he’s met by Sterling Glaw, who will be overseeing his evening’s festivities. Stank does the requisite posing to complete his entrance, and his music stops. The crowd murmurs as there is a distinct delay before the next entrance. “Ladies and Gentlemen” fires up, and the crowd clearly isn’t happy by this turn of events. D.H. Magnusson busts out a quality Douchebag pose, as he’s flanked by the rest of Run DEA. They walk him down to the ring, deflecting the ever-popular trash that’s being thrown, and D.H. makes his way into the ring. Stank comes right over to the ropes, and start jawing with Davin Moreland, but Davin just ends up gesturing that “Stank is Number 1”. D.H. strikes a pose on the turnbuckle much to the disdain of the crowd, and the rest of Run DEA applauds this like it’s the greatest thing ever. Whatever. Go away. They do, thankfully, go away, and head back up the ramp; leaving D.H. to his own devices against his former stable mate. With the crowd properly primed for this match; and both combatants ready, Sterling Glaw calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Slow circle, with lots of trash talk to start, culminating in a SLAP OF DISRESPECT from Mags. Well, obviously Stank doesn’t take too kindly to that, and tries to retaliate. But, DH beats him to the punch, and hits him with a SHORT SPEAR, taking the big man off his feet. DH sits on top, and just starts to RAIN down lefts and rights into Stank’s grill. They’re closed-fist punches, so obviously Glaw has to be a little baby about it, forcing DH to stop after a 5-count. Stank tries to get up and clear the cobwebs, but DH doesn’t give him a chance, as he jumps back on Stank and starts blasting him in the face. Clearly, DH has been waiting to do this for a while. Again, Glaw pulls DH off, and now he gets in an argument with Glaw, concluding to the “logo on the shirt point” spot. This allows Stank to regain his senses, and HE Spears DH from behind (that sounds kinda bad), and starts landing RABBIT PUNCHES to the back of DH’s head. Glaw has to pull STANK off this time, and their short conversation allows DH to bundle to the floor. Not exactly Steamboat/Flair here early on.
DH wanders around outside, trying to collect his thoughts, so he doesn’t see Stank take off for a SUICIDE DIVE! My God that was cool. The crowd fires of a “That Was Awesome” chant as Stank’s momentum drove Mags all the way into the barrier. And now? More punching. Stank does mix in some elbow-to-the-temple shots and a couple of headbutts, but it’s nothing technical here. Stank gets up, and then pulls up a loopy DH, and hits a DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX RIGHT INTO THE APRON! Freakin’ ow. Stank’s not done, as he pulls DH up again, and hooks him in for a POWERBOMB…AND ANOTHER…AND ANOTHER! STANKBOMB from Stank to DH on the floor. DH has GOT to be done for. Stank pulls DH, and rolls him into the ring before getting in himself. Stank covers, 1, 2, thr…NO! DH barely rolls the shoulder and Stank can’t believe it. He starts to engage into a deep conversation with Glaw, and doesn’t see DH CRACK him in the back of the head with a JERSEY HAMMER! He pulls up Stank and hits a HANGMAN’S NECKBREAKER! DH quickly covers, but it just gets 2. He pulls Stank near the ropes. He pulls Stank up in what looks like an UNDERHOOK SUPLEX, but uses the ropes as a springboard, and turns it into an UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER! Ouch. DH covers here, and that gets a long 2.
DH pulls Stank up and hits a Beautiful GUTWRENCH SUPLEX which shakes the ring. DH covers again, and again gets a long 2 count. DH looks quizzically at Glaw and starts to argue, but then re-thinks it, and goes back to Stank. He pulls up Stank, who looks out on his feet, and goes to stand next to him. He’s looking for DREAM STREET, but just as DH starts to pull back for the Side Russian Leg sweep, Stank breaks himself out of DH’s hold completely and jumps behind DH, catching him. Stank uses DH’s momentum against him, and easily gets him up into a PILEDRIVER! Stank plops on DH, exhausted and covers; getting a long 2. Stank slowly gets up and runs the ropes, looking for STANKONIA 2.0! He EATS CANVAS, as DH just does get out of the way. DH is up pretty quickly, and just starts to repeatedly KICK Stank in the back of the head. I don’t know how much Stank has left. DH pulls up Stank and points out into the crowd. Glaw, because he’s a little slow, looks. This allows DH to hit the Ol’ Jersey Turnpike on the already hurting Stank. That was probably unnecessary. DH goes to the side to try DREAM STREET, but this time, Stank quickly spins to the front and hits a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Stank collapses to the mat holding his junk before rolling outside.
Catching his breath and whatnot, Stank climbs back into the ring, but eats a DROPKICK at the apron, sending Stank flat on his back. DH then hits a HOGAN LEGDROP FROM THE APRON! DH pulls up Stank, and hits a BLUE THUNDER BOMB ON THE FLOOR before rolling back in. He yells at Glaw to count, and goes to the other side of the ring to pose. The crowd, clearly, doesn’t enjoy this much. Stank starts to stir at 6, and makes the apron at 8. He just DOES roll into the ring before the 10 count. DH, with his back turned, doesn’t see Stank and he ROLLS HIM UP! 1, 2, thr…REVERSE TO AN INSIDE CRADLE! 1, 2, ANOTHER REVERSAL! 1, 2, 3! Just as the cradle is reversed again! WINNER by PINFALL in 12:39…STANK!
CONCRETE TG vs. FUMUNDA MUNG
"With Jupiter In Mind" fires up, and "Concrete" Takaken Gryffon appears, to massive face-pop cheers. He marches to the ring, which is already occupied by one Fumunda Mung, wearing red trunks. CTG extends his hand to the newcomer, and Mung shakes it, in a lovely display of facey-sportsmanship. We can just barely make out Mung saying something like "It's an honor to be in the ring with such a legend." Creech gags, calls for the bell, and we are off.
At the ringing of the bell, Ming’s demeanor changes. Not in that Festus kind of way, but he rushes CTG and shoves him hard into the turnbuckle, and follows up with a flurry of punches and chops. CTG tries to get his arms up, but spends a great deal of his time blocking. Creech yawns and begins the count. Mung backs off at 4.5, waits a minute, and then lands one big right haymaker. Creech half-heartedly chastises him as he steps between Mung and a somewhat reeling CTG. CTG stumbles a bit coming out of the corner, shaking the cobwebs. Mung deftly sidesteps Creech and kicks CTG in the gut. He grabs him around the neck and DDT! Mung quickly makes the cover and one...t....No, CTG kicks out. CTG sits up and Mung wastes no time locking in the rest hold around CTG's neck. Creech checks to make sure it's not a choke, and asks CTG if he's okay. CTG glares at him, and tries to get Mung to release the hold. CTG struggles, and Mung continues to lock it down. CTG gets up to one knee, but Mung is still not releasing. But that is okay, because CTG is a veteran, and knows what he's doing. He ducks down, flipping over, taking Mung with him. Mung lands on his back, and CTG is on top, so Creech makes the count one...two....no, Mung kicks out, but also breaks the hold. Mung is up first and puts the boots to CTG, keeping him down. He runs to the ropes and bounces off into a slingshot leg drop. He makes the cover again, and still only gets a 1.5 count. CTG looks around and sees Creech ... laughing? Surely he's not laughing at CTG! Doesn't matter if he is, because CTG thinks he is. CTG drags himself up the ropes, and glares at Creech. Mung is also up and, after some posing to the crowd, he turns around, right into CTG, who is shaking the Hulk Hogan finger at him. Mung runs the ropes and instead of catching CTG with a kick, CTG grabs his leg, and spins him around. He grabs Mung from behind, and NECKBREAKER!! CTG is going to make the -- No, he DOESN'T make the cover. He kicks Mung over, and gets up him into position for...FINAL JUSTICE! Mung is out. CTG makes the cover...1...2...3! WINNER in 6:31 – Concrete TG
JOSH O’NEAL vs. BLITZ
“Enemy” fires up over the PA, and the crowd stays in their seats. There are a smattering of boos; but not much reaction for Josh O’Neal, who’s job is on the line tonight. O’Neal tries to heel it up as he makes his way to the ring, but gets a whole lot of nothing in response. “Peace Sells” starts to blast and Blitz makes his way down to polite applause. “Jobber Blitz” no more, he’s looking to make a statement tonight. Junior Hale looks at both competitors and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
At the bell, O’Neal snarls and charges Blitz. He catches Blitz off guard, and just LEVELS him with a clothesline. O’Neal stomps away at the smaller Blitz, and it’s starting to look bad already. O’Neal WHIPS Blitz into the corner and follows him in for a HUGE SPLASH! Blitz stumbles out. O’Neal hits a DDT! O’Neal poses for the crowd, and gets a whole bunch of nothing in response. He pulls up Blitz and whips him into the ropes. He catches Blitz and hits a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!
Russ: Really popped those hips! Nash: Smurfy, Russ. You really need to stop being such a toaster oven.
O’Neal picks up Blitz, and whips him into the ropes again. He catches Blitz’s feet on the way by. He’s going for the OBLITERATOR! He spins Blitz around and…BLITZ REVERSES INTO A TOR-NA-DO DDT! Both men are down, and Hale starts to count. O’Neal is up at 5, and Blitz isn’t too far behind him. This gives O’Neal a half-second jump on Blitz, and O’Neal tries to charge Blitz again, but this time Blitz gives him the OL’ LOW BRIDGE! O’Neal crashes and burns on the outside; and Blitz heads into the Blitz Zone! The crowd cheers at this development. Blitz hits the top turnbuckle, and takes off…450 SPLASH TO O’NEAL ON THE OUTSIDE! Blitz props up O’Neal against the barrier, and jogs back a few steps. He SPRINTS to O’Neal and hits a SHINER! O’Neal’s head smashes against the barrier in the process. Blitz struggles and rolls a lifeless O’Neal into the ring, and heads to the top again. BLITZ FLIP! Blitz floats into the cover, and O’Neal’s OOWF career is over! WINNER in 6:21 by PINFALL…BLITZ!
After the match, O’Neal is STUNNED in the middle of the ring. GM the Rick comes out to the top of the ramp and has security escort O’Neal from the building as the fans serenade him with the appropriate NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY GOOOOOOODBYE!
TYTAN vs. JOSE MANUEL RAMIREZ ORTIZ CUERVO
"The Fight Inside" by Red blares over the sound system, and Tytan marches out, looking very imposing with his trench coat and crazy hair. Already in the ring is Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo, known among the OOWF Developmentals for his killer left hook. Tytan's handler Mr. Biggs is looking as smug as anything. Tytan climbs into the ring and glares at Jose as "Junior" Hale calls for the bell. Jose wastes no time, charging Tytan and unleashing the KILLER LEFT HOOK! Tytan no-sells it. Jose panics and thinks for a second. KILLER RIGHT HOOK! What brilliant innovation! Again Tytan no-sells it. Jose freezes, looking at first his left hand, then his right, uncertain as to what to do. Tytan grabs him and hurls him into the corner. Jose lands in the tree of woe position, and Tytan begins the Corporate Fallout. Kicks to the chest are followed by a nasty stomp to chin and Jose crumples to the ground in a heap. Tytan picks up Jose and whips him out of the corner, then follows him out with a monster clothesline. Jose hits the ground and then his eyes glaze over. Tytan goes for the pin, one, two, and then he lifts up Jose's shoulders right before the three count. Such unbelievable arrogance. Tytan picks up Jose and whips him to the ropes and looks for a super kick on the rebound, but Jose slides under it and small packages him. This doesn't even get a one count. Jose goes around Tytan and schoolboys him. Again, not even a one count, and the kick out sends Jose across the ring. Jose quickly runs to the corner and scales the top rope. Cross body block from the top! Caught by Tytan. Tytan marches back to the corner and places Jose on the top rope. Jose pleads for his life. Tytan has no mercy! Ultimo Ending! Easy three count, as Biggs does a little dance on the outside. WINNER in 3:02 - Tytan
CHRIS EVANS vs. TYSON KINCAID
In the break between matches, several OOWF fans along the ramp have rolled out a huge 'WE WANT TCH' banner and are trying to secure it along the ramp. This leads to the crowd to start a "We Want TCH" chant, or at least part of the crowd. OOWF Security comes out and tries to take the banner down. A minor altercation starts up as Chris Evans' music begins. He merely comes to the top of the ramp and waits for order to be restored. Once it is, he makes his way down the ramp, to a variety of responses. Some cheers, some boos, since the new guy can't make up his mind which faction he wants to join, if any. In the ring he goes, and the lights go down for Tyson Kincaid's entrance, to cheers. Tyson is looking around as if he expects some shenanigans, but seeing nothing out of the ordinary, gets into the ring and the two Storm Wrestling Academy grads nod and bump knuckles. Hightower call for the bell and we are off.
The first few minutes are a clinic in technically efficient wrestling, with plenty of arm drags, arm locks, shoulder slaps, and the like. Some fairly balanced chain wrestling, with neither party getting the upper hand, but both able to counter easily. They break, and give each other the Nod of Respect, as the fans show their appreciation. But the clinic is officially over, as Evans rushes Tyson, shoving him into the ropes. He grabs an arm and whips him to the other side, fully intending to follow up, but Tyson is more the veteran, and leaps with an elbow at just the right moment. He knocks Evans off balance enough to get him up and over for a vertical suplex. Tyson switches direction, and bounces off the far ropes, and hits a leg drop. Evans sits up, holding his neck and collarbones, and Tyson grabs him for a Dragon Sleeper. Evans arms flail, and Hightower asks him if he's done. Evans answers this by finally reaching up and pulling Tyson's hair. He pulls Tyson's head down at the same time as he raises his knee up, connecting with Tyson's jaw. Ouch, that's gonna hurt. Tyson and Evans both break their holds. Tyson rubs his jaw, but Evans doesn't rest, and bounces of the rope into a lariat, knocking him down. Tyson gets to his knees, but Evans has quickly hit the ropes again, and comes in with a Shining Wizard. Tyson is down, and Evans makes a pin. One, two....Tyson has his shoulder up barely at two. Evans discusses with Hightower the benefits of going One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi to make sure he's counting quickly enough. This gives Tyson enough time to recover, and he gets up... waits... and clubs Evans from behind with a double axe handle. Tyson, breaking out the power moves! Evans goes down on one knee, and Tyson abandons the brawling. He hits a missile drop kick that sends Evans the rest of the way to the mat. Instead of covering immediately, he heads across the mat while Evans climbs up the turnbuckle. Evans turns into the center of the mat... right into Running Leg Lariat from Tyson. Evans is down, and Tyson gets ready to fly. Moonsault! He covers, but Evans finds the strength to kick out at two! Tyson is not discouraged, and goes up top again. But wait! Firewoman's pyro goes off! Tyson drops down of the rope, and turns towards the entrance, but she doesn't appear. Evans sees his opportunity and takes advantage of it, getting a roll-up. But Tyson manages to kick out at 2, in clear violation of Wrestling Rule #237!!! They're close enough to the ropes that Evans jumps up to the second rope and hits his Toronto Twister. One, two, three! WINNER in 15:41 – Chris Evans
Tournament of Champions Semi-Finals[/u]
LD WILLIAMS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY
We come to the semi-finals of the Tournament of Champions, the winner of this match will receive an OOWF world heavyweight title shot tonight. LD Williams is announced first, and he comes out to the ring with a bandage on his head from his earlier match. LD hands the title to the referee and waits in the corner for Seamus. Onslaught champion Seamus McNasty is announced and comes to the ring, he also hands his title to the referee. Mel Creech calls for the bell, and this one is underway. The two men slowly move to the middle of the ring and circle before finally locking up. Seamus grabs Williams in a side head lock, and gets a couple of shots to Williams forehead in, trying to open that cut again, before Williams sends him to the ropes. Seamus takes him down with a shoulder block, then heads to the opposite ropes. Williams stays on the mat and Seamus steps over him. LD gets to his feet and catches Seamus on the rebound, and tries a hip-toss, but Seamus blocks it, and tries a clothesline, but LD ducks it and grabs Seamus from behind and tries a German suplex, but Seamus reaches between his legs and grabs LD’s leg and pulls him to the mat and tries a figure four, but Williams kicks him off, sending him to the ropes. LD tries a monkey flip, but Seamus swats his legs aside and tries to drop an elbow, but LD rolls out of the way. Both men get to their feet and Williams catches Seamus in the mid-section with a knee, then wrings the arm and drives him to the mat and tries to lock in the cross face, but Seamus blocks it, and spins out of it, rolling LD into a crucifix for a one count. Williams is quickly to his feet and he hits the ropes and charges at Seamus but Seamus catches him with a side suplex and drives him to the mat. Seamus covers, but LD kicks out at one. Seamus flips Williams over and grabs him in a camel clutch, trying for the submission, but Williams will not give it up. Seamus repeatedly drops elbows on LD’s forehead until the cut on his forehead opens back up. Blood runs down LD’s face as Seamus drops him to the mat, and punctuates it with a stomp to the back of the head. Seamus pulls LD to his feet and sets him up for a power bomb, then drives him into the corner, LD’s lower back bouncing off the top turnbuckle. LD staggers out of the corner grabbing his back and Seamus hits the ropes and nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. Seamus pulls LD to his feet and drops him across his knee in a pendulum back breaker, trying for the submission. Williams grunts in pain but will not quit. After several agonizing minutes Seamus finally drops Williams off his knee, but the pain doesn’t end there. Seamus drops a knee onto LD’s lower back and pulls him back in a chin lock, still trying to get Williams to quit. Seamus rips at the gash on LD’s forehead, drawing a warning from the referee. Finally Seamus releases it and lets LD get to his feet. Seamus grabs LD and hooks him for a suplex, and lifts him over the ropes and drops him. Williams hits his lower back on the apron and falls to the floor. Seamus waits for him to struggle to his feet, then leaps off the apron and hits a double axe handle to the small of the back sending Williams to his knees on the floor. Seamus rolls Willimas into the ring and covers, but LD kicks out. Seamus grabs LD and tries to squeeze the life out of him with a bear hug, but LD quickly escapes with a scientific rake of the eyes. LD hits the ropes while Seamus is stunned and catches him with a high knee between the eyes. Both men remain down on the mat while the referee starts the ten count. Ld gets to his feet first and pulls Seamus up and delivers a little CANADIAN VIOLENCE on him, hitting him with repeated head butts to the face, then backing him into the corner and blistering him with chops. Williams pulls Seamus out of the corner and hits an exploder suplex. Williams gets to his feet and channels his inner Benoit and heads to the top rope for a flying head butt. Seamus gets to his feet and runs to the corner though and catches Williams on the top. A fight breaks out as Seamus tries to throw LD and LD does his best not to be thrown. Williams catches Seamus with a knee to the face, then several forearms, then slams his head on the turnbuckle, then hits a TOP ROPE CANADIAN DESTROYER! Jesus Mary and the Saints Seamus is dead. LD crawls across the ring and covers, one, two, thre….NO! Seamus somehow gets his foot on the ropes. Are you serious? A CHOMP and a TOP ROPE CANADIAN DESTROYER and he is still alive? LD Williams gets to his feet and pushes the referee aside as he was checking on Seamus, and pulls McNasty to his feet. Seamus rocks Williams with several rights and lefts and has LD on wobbly legs, though Seamus isn’t exactly on the steadiest of legs after the destroyer either. Seamus steps back and calls for the KTFO and winds up and swings, but Williams ducks and grabs Seamus in a full nelson, DRAGON SUPLEX! LD holds on and bridges, one, two, THREE! LD Williams has earned an OOWF World Title Shot! WINNER in 20:39 – LD Williams
OOWF Invitational – Round 1[/u]
BRYCE LARSON vs. MELE KALIKIMUKA
Bryce Larson vs. Mele Kalikamuka Hawaiian music blares throughout the arena as Mele Kalikamuka heads to the ring, covered in many bandages from his public fire dancing display of Monday night/Tuesday morning. "War Pigs" brings Bryce our shortly thereafter, and Mele attacks as Bryce hits the ring!
Russ: Mele is all business with Bryce! Razz: He can't be too happy after getting embarrassed in Hawaii. Russ: Rumor has it Bryce ran off with this women! Razz: Well, Mele is in it for revenge tonight!
Mele doesn't maintain the advantage very long, as Bryce ducks a clothesline attempt and dropkicks him in the knee. With Mele down, Bryce connects with a Shining Wizard! He lines up for another one, when suddenly three Hawaiian men come to ringside, with another pole with flaming ends! Mele slowly gets up, seeing the fire before him. He grabs the pole, taking it into the ring and threatening Bryce with it. Bryce backs away as Hightower immediately heads the outside! Mele takes two swings at Bryce, and each flaming end of the pole goes out! Mele is confused, and grabs the end to see what happened. He burns his hand, dropping the pole to the floor as he screams in pain.
Ring crew members join the three Hawaiian men in getting the pole out of the ringside area, as Mele is in obvious in pain. Bryce, feeling bad for Mele, extends his hand as a show of respect. Mele accepts, but the handshake on his burnt hand hurts so bad that Mele taps out! Hightower sees this while still on the outside and calls for the bell. Bryce wins by tap out! WINNER in 3:54 - Bryce Larson (tap out due to handshake)
THE DEAD vs. PHANTOS
Phantos & The Dead lock up and Dead sends him into the ropes. Phantos leapfrogs Dead and rebounds off the ropes. Dead arm drags Phantos and holds on to an arm bar. Phantos powers up and reverses the move. He hip tosses Dead and hits a bulldog. Cover for a quick 2 count. Phantos hits a dropkick on Dead and sends hit tumbling through the ropes. Phantos follows up with a plancha dive over the ropes, but Dead was waiting for it and catches Phantos in mid air, ramming his back into the ring post. Dead rolls in to break the referee’s count, and then rolls back out. Suplex on the floor. Dead on the apron, and drops a leg onto the masked man. Dead drags Phantos into the ring and hits a Tiger driver. He covers for 2. Dead lets Phantos get to his feet, and appears to be ready to Close the Casket, but Phantos ducks and pulls Dead onto his shoulders. Forward Roll Slam. Phantos to the top rope quickly, and catches Dead with a flying clothesline. Cover for 1…2… and Dead is just able to get the shoulder up. Phantos hits another dropkick and then goes back up top. He flies off, but Dead catches him with a Close the Casket! Dead scrambles to make the cover, but Phantos’ leg is close enough to the ropes for him to cause a break. Dead props Phantos in a corner and hits a bronco buster, followed by the Jeff hardy memorial handstand momentum kick. He drags Phantos into the middle of the ring and continues the assault. Shining Wizard. Springboard moonsault elbow. Single leg crab. Phantos struggles in the hold, and appears near submission. He is able to find the bottom rope and force a break. Dead doesn’t let go, and the referee has to get physically involved. Dead Spends time arguing with the official and that give Phantos a chance to climb the turnbuckle unseen and missile dropkick Dead to the floor. Phantos slumps in a corner as the referee begins to count. Dead starts to roll back in and Phantos baseball slide dropkicks him back to the floor. The referee issues a warning before resuming his count. Dead climbs back in at 8 and is met with a flying burrito. Phantos Kips up. Atomic Drop. And another. Scoop slam. Phantos goes to the top rope. Big Elbow. Dead struggles to his feet, and Phantos tunes up the band. Dead turns around, and Kick Wham Stunner! Dead flops to the mat and Phantos makes the cover. 1..2..No! Dead finds that inner strength and kicks out. A gut shot and Phantos is doubled over. Axe kick. Hangman’s neck breaker. Dead crouches and readies himself to finish Phantos off. CLOSE THE CASK…. But Phantos grabs the kicking leg and twist Dead to the mat. HE locks in a REAL STF! Dead struggles mightily and eventually inches towards the ropes. He makes the break, and Phantos has to release him. Phantos takes Dead back to the middle of the ring. Sets up for a suplex. He lifts dead up, but he shifts his weight and comes back down. Dead attempts the suplex, but Phantos is able to block this one as well. Phantos then catches Dead with a Small Package. 1…2… and Dead reverses it! 1..2..Phantos reverses it! 1..2..3! WINNER in 10:43, Phantos
SYB vs. DR. STONE COLE DEATH VON ERICH
Dr. Stone Cold Death Von Erich makes his way to the ring first. He grumbles at the referee, warms up briefly, and glares up the aisle awaiting his opponent. SYB marches to the ring, all business. He ignores the jeers of the fans and slides into the ring, getting right in Von Erich's face. They stand nose-to-um, chest, and have words as the fans try to decide what to chant (“Dr. Stone Cold Death Von Erich's gonna kill you” is a little unwieldy, and “Death's gonna kill you” just sounds silly).Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell and we're underway.
SYB tires of talking and slaps Von Erich across the face. Von Erich chuckles and responds with a right hand that somersaults SYB across the ring. SYB rolls to his feet and runs at Von Erich, but gets caught by a boot to the midsection and taken down by a suplex. Von Erich floats over and pummels SYB with punches until Junior threatens to disqualify him.
SYB uses the ropes to pull himself up. Von Erich lunges, but SYB moves back to the corner. Von Erich moves in, and SYB uses a greco-roman eyepoke to gain the advantage. He follows up with a foot stomp and a shin kick, then hooks Von Erich and spikes him with a DDT. SYB covers, and sneaks his feet onto the ropes for leverage, but Junior notices and refuses to count. SYB is indignant, and gets in Junior's face, which leaves him open to a double axe handle from Von Erich. He follows up with a series of punches, then sends SYB across the ring and plants him with a spine buster. He covers, but SYB is close enough to get a foot on the ropes. Von Erich pulls SYB to his feet and tosses him into the corner. He barrels in after him with a clothesline, then tosses SYB to the opposite corner and does it again. SYB stumbles out of the corner and gets planted with a power slam. Von Erich covers and Junior counts One...Two...Thr-SYB rolls a shoulder to escape.
Von Erich drags SYB to his feet and rocks him with a European uppercut. He slings him to the ropes, but SYB ducks a clothesline. SYB comes back with a Thesz Press, but Von Erich catches him and turns it into a bear hug. SYB struggles, and finally has to go to the eyes to break free. SYB goes to the ropes and hits a shoulderblock – to no effect. He goes back to the ropes and tries it again, and simply bounces off. SYB goes to the well a third time, making sure to place Von Erich between him and Junior. Instead of the shoulder block, SYB puts on the brakes and hits the Jersey Turnpike. Von Erich doubles over, and SYB hits the ropes behind him, rebounds off the opposite ropes, and hits a rising Hebrew Hammer. Von Erich goes down with what appears to be a broken nose, and SYB falls on him for the cover. Junior counts One...Two...Three! WINNER, in 8:42, SYB.
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. MATTE
“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” fires up over the PA, and one of our brightest new superstars, Matte, makes his way down the ramp. Sweet, the Flannel AND the Ripped Jeans. Live the gimmick, brother. Matte pretty much mopes his way down the ramp, occasionally slapping hands with a fan. He rolls into the ring and slumps down into the far corner. Fall River’s Own Junior Barros just kinda looks over at him, and says “whatever”. Funny, Junior. “Scarecrow” blasts through the sound system now, and the crowd boos the holy hell out of Moosehead Jack. This is probably in response to his vicious beat down of Stank after their match this past week. Moose is literally chuckling at the crowd response. Clearly, he finds this all very amusing. HE rolls into the ring, and slumps in the opposite corner as Matte. This is quite the sight. Barros calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Both men sigh and pull themselves up to a standing position. Moose is first to the center of the ring, and he’s looking for a lockup. Matte rolls his eyes and says “whatever”, and goes to join him. Moose, the bigger man, shoves Matte into the corner. Barros calls for a clean break. Yeah, right. Moose BURIES an elbow right in Matte’s throat, and as Matte keels over, Moose hooks him in for a SPINNING POWERBOMB. Moose goes to work with the old school offense. He’s dropping elbows. He’s dropping knees. He’s stomping. He’s kicking. Finally, Moose dramatically hits the near ropes and hits THE HOGAN LEGDROP! The cover gets 2, and Moose actually appears surprised that didn’t end things. Moose slowly pulls Matte up, and DRILLS him with a Headbutt. Jumping Elbow Drop to the Face. Moose covers again, and AGAIN only gets 2. He’s clearly frustrated, and pulls Matte up again, positioning him for a PILEDRIVER that will surely end things. Moose jumps forward, but MATTE REVERSED IT INTO AN INSIDE CRADLE! That got a LONG two, and Moose just did get out of that. Matte gets to his feet and kind of shrugs at Moose.
Moose snarls and pounces, going for a Spinning Chop to the Neck, but Matte grabs Moose’s arm, and SHOCKS him with a CROSS-ARM BREAKER! Moose is actually in a bad spot; but he tears at Matte’s hair; ripping it back. Matte has to let go before Barros can count to 5. Moose is PISSED and charges Matte. Matte tries to hit a Drop Toe Hold, but Moose holds up, and SMASHES Matte’s head into the mat (ha!) with a SHITTY BULLDOG! Moose is clearly unnerved, and is letting his emotions get the best of him. Moose pulls the now-bleeding Matte onto his shoulder, and literally JAVELINS him from the ring through the Detroitian Announce Table! Luckily, no one is there. Matte is twisted up in a bunch of wreckage, and Moose is actually going to follow him out. A countout would win, Moose! Don’t be stupid!
Too late, Moose is already out and has found a STEEL CHAIR. He purposefully stomps over to Matte and is looking to SWING and…EATS CHAIR! Moose drilled Matte’s foot with the chair, and blasted himself in the face! Matte slowly starts to get up, and finds a nearby monitor. He just UNLEASHES the Monitor on Moose, his rage growing with every blast, culminating with one to the head. That made a really disturbing sound, and Moose is just leaking blood from his head. Moose rolls over, and Matte has moved on to a jagged piece of table. He smashes it up and down the length of Moose’s body, and then starts to jam it into him with almost a stabbing motion. Moose is simply a bloody pulp at this point. Matte shows no signs of stopping. Moose, somehow, grabs the STEEL CHAIR near him, and tossed it sideways, so that it catches Matte in the temple. It’s not a knockout shot, but it’s enough to get him off Moose. Moose staggers around on all fours. Barros wants to count…but SOMEONE MUST ADVANCE!
Moose gets to a knee, and has a monitor in his hand. He’s about to swing when he GETS A FACE FULL OF GREEN MIST! Matte follows this up with repeated shots from the STEEL CHAIR. Matte pulls up Moosehead Jack, and hits the NEVERMIND DDT INTO THE WRECKAGE! Moose is potentially dead. Matte slowly gets up, and gets to the ring apron, pulling himself up. Using the ropes to steady him, Matte is standing, and looks like he’s going to climb into the ring. However, he takes another look at Moose and stops himself. That’s a long jump, Matte. Matte TAKES OFF ANYWAY! It looks like he’s trying for a SPLASH from the apron…and he comes up about 2 feet short, and smashes his head into the pile of rubble. Moose starts to stir, and it looks like Matte knocked himself out, although I doubt he cares. Moose slowly walks over to Matte, and picks him up like a sack o’ potatoes. He stumbles a few times, but is able to get to the apron. Moose rolls Matte into the ring. He pulls himself up now, and it’s a real good thing they don’t do this tournament in one night! Moose manages to climb through the ropes, and simply collapses on top of Matte. Barros counts, and MATTE kicked OUT JUST AS HIS ARM WAS COMING DOWN THE THIRD TIME! Moose simply can’t believe it, and actually, neither can Barros.
Moose pulls himself up by the ropes, and Matte gets to his knees. Matte just starts landing body shots to Moose from his knees. Moose, already weakened, drops to his knees. Matte uses Moose to push himself up. He then pulls Moose up, looking for the NEVERMIND DDT! Moose REVERSES into an EVENFLOW DDT try of his own! Matte reverses THAT back into his OWN NEVERMIND DDT try, but Moose grabs Matte’s arm, and hits THE HEARTPUNCH!
Matte just kind of looks down with an “are you fucking kidding me” look; but Moose uses the distraction to HIT THE EVENFLOW DDT! Alas poor Matte, we hardly knew ye. WINNER by PINFALL in 12:57…MOOSEHEAD JACK!
NAYR vs. HI-VO SAKAMOTO
Handshake at the bell, as the real Hi-Vo Sakamoto is here and not some fat imposter. As the two competitors feel each other out - boy, THAT didn't sound right - Mike Tenay of the Wrestling Insiders joins Russ and Razz at ringside to share his knowledge of Sakamoto's international success, including but not limited to, multiple titles in Central America and Australasia. Crisscross and Sakamoto goes to the mat, Nayr hops over and looks for a Lionsault, but Sakamoto rolls out of the way. Nayr lands on his feet, they both try to grab a leg, and kick each other away. Both charge for a shoulder block, which gets nothing, and stereo dropkicks cancel each other out and we're back to square one. Sakamoto grabs a headlock, but Nayr shoves out of it and gets a drop toehold. Nayr runs across Sakamoto's back, springboards off the middle rope and dropkicks him right in the face. Sakamoto to the floor to cool off, and Nayr rushes in for a suicide dive... but he grabs the ropes instead. Hi-Vo takes a walk around the ring, but doesn't see Nayr come across with a baseball slide, wrapping his legs around Sakamoto's head, and taking him into the guardrail with a hurricanrana - and Tenay's voice cracks. Nayr up and walks the guardrail, but Sakamoto pulls the railing, and Nayr falls stomach first to the rail. Sakamoto works him over with judo kicks, then tosses him back in. Nayr's out of it, and Sakamoto flies in with a corkscrew tope, and that gets two. Irish whip, but Nayr reverses. Leapfrog doesn't exactly work, as Sakamoto simply catches him, but Nayr turns it into a victory roll, but Sakamoto rolls thru and gets another two count. Sakamoto grabs a leg before Nayr can get up, wraps the knee around his neck and we get a modified airplane spin. Sakamoto lets Nayr sail into the turnbuckle to be a jerk, but when he goes to follow up, Nayr slides under him, brings him down and rolls thru for two. Nayr ducks a roundhouse kick and takes Sakamoto down into a modified ankle lock, but Sakamoto climbs the ropes with his arms to break. Sakamoto to the top, but Nayr follows. They slug it out, but Sakamoto loses his balance and crotches himself. Nayr brings him down with a SPLASH MOUNTAIN, and that's enough to finish it. WINNER in 9:44: NAYR
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Post by mooseheadjack on Feb 9, 2009 12:28:25 GMT -5
ALEXANDER DARLING vs. SKURGE“Bawitdaba” comes over the PA, and the crowd gets to their feet as IHOP member Skurge makes his way down the ramp. He slaps some hands and caters to the crowd a bit, but he looks very focused for this rare Singles match. He nods to Angelo Barros, who’s leaning against a turnbuckle. Skurge turns toward the ramp to await his opponent. The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena. We hear ”There Can Be Only One” which leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits, but oddly, there’s no Darling. He’s probably just being fashionably late. The wait for Darling continues until we hear Darling over the PA. AD: Call ME Alexis, you disrespectful piece of shit? BOOYAH, Bitch!We hear a microphone drop and suddenly the lights come on, just as Darling is landing a SLINGSHOT DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF SKURGE’S HEAD! Darling came through the crowd! He is just PEPPERING the back of Skurge’s head with punches, and finally resorts to simply smashing Skurge’s head into the mat. The crowd is shitting all over this, but clearly, Darling doesn’t really care. He’s now stomping and kicking Skurge’s head. Finally Barros, who let a lot of this go, has to pull Darling off. Darling shoves Barros off, and pulls Skurge into a Surfboard Hold…MOTHERFUCKIN CURBSTOMP! Darling quickly rolls Skurge over and looks to cover. We see blood covering Skurge’s face. The cover gets a long 2, and Skurge tries to crawl away. Darling’s having none of this and locks on the DARLING MONEY CLIP! Darling is near the ropes, but Skurge is facing the wrong way, and is in HUGE trouble. Barros leans in to check on Skurge, and Darling heels it up by grabbing the ropes for additional leverage. He lets go when Barros looks over, and this repeats a couple of times until Barros actually catches him, and gives him a long 5 count to break. Darling finally does, but he’s not done, as he just starts stomping away at Skurge, the assault continuing. Darling’s finally satisfied, and tries to cover again. AGAIN, this gets a very long 2, and Skurge tries to crawl away. Darling’s not interested in letting this happen at all. He tries to lock in the DARLING MONEY CLIP again, but this time Skurge is able to kick Darling off, and bundle out to the floor. Skurge tries to reorganize and wipe the blood off his face, but Darling has regrouped and hits a TOPE CON HILO to the outside. Darling goes back to the punchy offense again, but eventually, Skurge is able to block one, and the bigger man just SHOVES Darling off of him; and Skurge stumbles the other way to regroup. Darling’s only got one speed tonight, and quickly bounces to his feet and goes after Skurge again, but Skurge counters with a tremendous SPINNING SPINEBUSTER which used most of Darling’s momentum against him. Skurge, still reeling, again, just walks away. Darling has to recover from the big Spine buster, but when he does, again just runs full-speed at Skurge. Again, Skurge sees him coming, and takes two steps forward, catches, and hits a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX which sends Darling all the way to the Barrier. That one hurt, and Darling isn’t getting up right away. Skurge rolls into the ring, and Barros starts a count. Darling is slow to get back. Darling DOES get back to the ring at 7, and Skurge, all the way across the ring trying to gather his bearings, sees him coming. Darling makes a half-hearted attempt to run at Skurge again, but it ends up in a lockup. Skurge is about to shove Darling across the ring, but Darling buries a knee in his gut. Darling quickly hits a DDT. He covers, but that gets a pedestrian 2. Darling is up relatively quickly, and locks Skurge in. He tries to get Skurge up for a POWERBOMB, but that’s not going to happen, and Skurge easily sends him over for a BACK BODY DROP, but Darling HANGS ON FOR A SUNSET FLIP! A shocked Skurge just barely does kick out, and Darling slaps the mat. Skurge gets up, and eats a YAKUZA KICK for his trouble. Luckily for him, he ends up under the ropes, so Darling doesn’t even consider a cover. He does drag Skurge away though, and tries for another DARLING MONEY CLIP. Skurge has this scouted by now, and kicks Darling off. Darling ends up hitting and facing a turnbuckle. He doesn’t see Skurge running top speed for a HUGE SPLASH! Darling stumbles out of the corner. Skurge gets him on his shoulder, and hits SNAKE EYES! Skurge hits the near ropes and LEVELS Darling with a CLOTHESLINE! The cover gets 2. He pulls Darling to his feet, but Darling fires back with BIG RIGHT HANDS! Skurge is ROCKED and actually spins around. Darling closes in. He puts his hand on Skurge’s throat. He’s going for a Darling Driver? He gets Skurge almost all the way up…and Skurge pulls on Darling’s neck! SMALL PACKAGE! 1, 2, 3!!! Just as Darling kicks out! Skurge peels up the aisle with the HUGE upset! WINNER in 14:47 by PINFALL…SKURGE! ALEXIS DARLING vs. “LOVE MACHINE” BILLY WAYNE WOODARDTo the shock of no one, Billy Wayne Woodard is already in the ring as Sixx AM’s “Life is Beautiful” starts and Alexis Darling steps into the arena. Alexis is in a skintight black and gold bodysuit and Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson who is actually wearing a New York Jets Brett Favre jersey is accompanying her. Wow, that’s some cheap old-school heel heat and the crowd is frothing at the mouth to get at Shawn. Luckily security is big here in Wisconsin due to the beer and cheese so Alexis and OGM SJ get to the ring untouched by the unwashed masses. OGM SJ rubs Alexis’ shoulders as she waits in the corner for the bell and it is finally called for by Angelo Barros. OGM SJ hops off the apron and Alexis does a somersault roll out of the corner before hopping up and meeting “The Love Machine” in the center of the ring. Well that’s an interesting way to start the match and they lock up. And The Love Machine lives up to his nickname as he starts rubbing the neck in a very suggestive manner. Alexis looks disgusted as she pushed Billy away. She takes a second before getting back in there and she locks BWW in a side headlock, but he doesn’t seem to mind this position as he takes a hold of Alexis’ backside. Again AD pushes him away and complains to Barros about the tactics of “The Love Machine.” Barros says there is nothing he can do and that just makes the look of disgust from TLM BWW transfer to Angelo. Alexis turns around just in time to catch an approaching Woodard with a snap arm drag. Both get back to their feet and Alexis hits a standing dropkick as soon as Billy Wayne gets back to his feet. And she drops down and plants her elbow right across BWW’s throat. He doesn’t seem to making any unwanted advances anymore as the elbow digs deep into his windpipe. Barros counts and Lexie finally lets go at four. Ms. Darling does not seem happy as she lifts Billy up by the hair are starts striking away with some knife hand chops. Woodard takes a few before reversing positions and hitting a few of his own. But he throws his own flava into the chops by sliding his hand over Lexie’s chest after each chop. You can see her face get beet red as she fires out of the corner with a straight right to Billy’s face. And quite possibly for the very first time ever in a Darling match, it’s the opponent’s nose that shatters. “The Love Machine” puts his hands to his face and he sees the blood pooling in his hand and he has no time to reach when Lexie rushes out of the corner and takes him down with a clothesline. She picks BWW up and locks in a double under hook before lifting Woodard up and over in a Butterfly Suplex. She floats over with the move and lifts Love Machine back up in the air. She changes her hand positioning and DARLING (VOODOO) DROP plants Woodard and his neck snaps in a precarious position. Alexis rolls over and makes the cover… 1… 2… Billy slides his shoulder out and gets off the mat. LD lifts BWW back up and whips him towards the ropes, but she puts head down to soon and Billy hits a kick that staggers Alexis back. He follows it up with a spinning leg lariat, taking Darling off her feet. He stands over her and does some pelvic thrusts. Alexis goes for a kick to get TLM BWW away but he grabs the foot and rolls Lexie back before grabbing her in a front face lock and taking her over with a vertical suplex. He doesn’t let go and he yells out something about Latino Heat when he tries for a second, but Alexis blocks it with a few strikes to Billy’s midsection. Alexis works it so she’s behind BWW now and she locks his arms across his chest…STRAIGHT-JACKET GERMAN SUPLEX. Lexie bridges with it and Barros gets down to make the count… One… Two… Th…And Billy Wayne gets his shoulder off the mat. Darling gets back to her feet and she waits for Woodard to get up…kick to the stomach bends “The Love Machine” over at the waist. Alexis locks his arms and spins him around…THE BITCH KILLER and she plants Woodard right on the back of his neck. She rolls him over and makes some pelvic thrusts of her own over the near comatose body of “The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard. Once she’s satisfied with that, she makes a nonchalant cover… 1… 2… 3. And this one is over. Moving on in the OOWF Invitational to the second round representing Run DEA is Alexis Darling. She should have quite an interesting match in the 2nd round as she faces the winner of FF Capslock and Eric O’Mac. I wonder what her feelings about that may be. Let’s see if she has any more math for the masses. WINNER in 9:17…Alexis Darling FF CAPSLOCK vs. ERIC O’MACF. F. Capslock is out first, to a considerable reaction from the crowd. He stops at ringside for a brief word and a beverage with some fans as he waits for his opponent. “C'mon man...Don't call it a comeback!” Eric O'Mac bursts onto the stage and the crowd erupts. Eric greets a few fans and makes his way down the aisle. He and FFC meet in center ring and referee Junior Hale gives them their instructions. He calls for the bell and Eric & FFC exchange a nod and a handshake before they start to circle. They lock up and FFC uses his size advantage to back Eric into the corner. Junior asks for a clean break and gets it. They lock up a second time, and FFC grabs a headlock. Eric shoots him off, and drops below his first pass. He tries leapfrog on the second pass, but FFC catches him. He tries to turn it into a spinning power bomb, but Eric re-reverses into a hurricanrana. Eric rolls to his feet and hits the ropes, driving a knee into FFC's temple. He covers, but FFC tosses him across the ring at one. Both men get to their feet. FFC fakes a lock up and drives a knee into Eric's midsection, then scoops him up and slams him to the mat. He drops a leg across Eric's throat and covers, but Eric rolls a shoulder at two. FFC tries another body slam, but Eric slips out, landing behind him. He pushes FFC to the ropes and rolls him up, but can only hold him for two. Eric puts the boots to FFC, keeping him on the mat. He sits him up and cinches in a chin lock. FFC works his way to his knees and drives an elbow into Eric's midsection. Eric hangs on, so FFC gets his feet under him and drops Eric with a belly-to-back suplex. Amazingly, Eric hangs on, so FFC rolls in the hold, pinning Eric to the mat and forcing him to let go to kick out. Both men get to their feet, but Eric is a little faster and gets in some punches until FFC catches one and drags Eric off balance, lifting him onto his shoulders and hitting an Angle Slam. He covers, but Eric kicks out at two. FFC hauls Eric up and tosses him into the corner. He brutalizes him with a series of body shots and whips him across the ring. Eric runs up the ropes and leaps off into a cross body, but FFC catches him and turns his momentum into a power slam. He hooks the leg, but Eric rolls a shoulder just before the three. FFC stomps on Eric, then pulls him to his feet. He rocks Eric with some clubbing blows, then hoists him for a power bomb. At the top of the move, Eric starts throwing punches. FFC staggers, and Eric manages to reverse the move into a DDT. He rolls FFC over and drives a series of elbows into his chest. He scales the ropes and hits the 5-Star Frogsplash – but FFC gets his knees up! Eric rolls around the ring clutching his midsection, and FFC gets slowly to his feet. FFC goes to the corner and waits for Eric to get up. He gets up a head off steam and attempts a spear but Eric dodges, FFC hits the corner hard and stumbles back, and Eric rolls him up. FFC kicks out at two. Eric presses the attack as FFC fights his way to his feet. FFC starts to take the advantage, so Eric buries a knee in his midsection, then tries an Irish whip. FFC reverses and follows Eric in with an avalanche. FFC sits Eric on the top turnbuckle and climbs up for a superplex, but Eric starts swinging and fights him off. Eric grabs FFC's head and attempts a tornado DDT, but FFC grabs him in the air and manages to reverse it into a sidewalk slam. FFC climbs the turnbuckles and hits the Greetings from Pacific Heights! He hooks the leg and Junior counts One...Two...Three! WINNER, in 14:27, F.F. Capslock. Tournament of Champions Finals[/u] DAVIN MORELAND vs. LD WILLIAMS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchLD Williams makes his third trip to the ring tonight. He has to be pretty well worn out having wrestled over 35 minutes already tonight. Williams climbs between the ropes, this time he hasn’t even bothered with a bandage on the gash on his head, it looks like it is just superglued shut. Yeah I am sure that will hold. The lights go out and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Davin Moreland makes his grand, douchebagish entrance. He stands at the top of the ramp with his arms crossed and his head down, then slowly looks up and smirks at the boos. Davin and Samantha Darling make their way to the ring. As the lights come back on, we notice Davin has his ribs HEAVILY taped. Davin steps between the ropes and hands the title to the referee who holds it high in the air. He moves to hand it to the ringside official, but Moreland takes it back and hands it to Samantha Darling, who hops off the apron and heads to the timekeepers table, the title sitting across her lap. Clearly Davin plans on leaving with the title tonight. The referee checks both men, and we get the official announcement, and finally the bell rings and this one is underway. Davin and Williams lock up in the middle of the ring, and Davin pushes Williams to the corner. The referee calls for a clean break, but Davin does not give it, instead he buries a knee into Williams’ midsection, and grabs him for a RGDC, but Williams shoves him off. LD comes out of the corner and connects with a clothesline that staggers Davin, LD snapmares Davin to the mat and locks him in a chin lock. Moreland starts fighting to his feet. And sends Williams to the ropes, and catches him with a big boot to the face that sends LD to the mat. Davin immediately covers, but LD kicks out at one, Davin covers a second time, and LD kicks out again, Davin covers a third time, and LD kicks out at two this time. Moreland gets to his feet and pulls Williams up and sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a big back body drop. As Williams gets to his feet, Davin clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. Moreland follows him to the outside. On the outside, Davin pulls LD to his feet and slams him face first into the announce table, LD sinks to his knees. Standing right in front of the announcers Davin looks out at the crowd, grabs LD’s head and tilts it back and repeatedly drives elbows down on his forehead, then tears at the gash on Williams head, opening it up again. Davin slowly pulls Williams to his feet, and starts to whip him to the guard rail, but pulls him back into a short clothesline. Davin rolls a stunned LD Williams back into the ring, follows him in and covers, but LD kicks out at two. Moreland pulls LD to a sitting position and hammers him with clubbing forearms to the chest, then gets him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches Williams with a big boot to the face. LD collapses in a heap and Davin falls on him, but still can’t get a three count. Davin looks pretty confident right about now. He plays to the crowd while LD struggles to get to his feet. Moreland kicks LD a couple of times sending him back to the mat, then finally pulls him up and shoves him into the corner. Davin slaps Williams a few times and grabs him by the hair and tilts his head back and says something to LD that only they can hear. Whatever it was, it pissed LD off something fierce. Williams grabs Davin by the back of the head and slams him in the face with a head butt and spins him into the corner and UNLEASHES a barrage of chops and kicks. Davin staggers a out of the corner a little bit and Williams hits the ropes and connects with a knee right to Davin’s ribs. Davin looks like he has been hit with an electric shock. He falls to his knees, pain etched on his face. Williams snarls and lands several head butts to the ribs that sends Moreland out of the ring to the floor gasping for breath while Samantha Darling tries to buy him some time. Williams slips out of the ring and walks up to Samantha Darling and just glares at her. At first she tries to stand her ground, but then she wilts under Williams menacing stare and steps back. Williams pulls Moreland to his feet and scoops him up and slams him on the floor. Davin howls in pain as Williams climbs to the apron, gets a running start and drops a knee across Moreland’s ribs. Davin howls in pain, and gasps for breath. Samantha Darling looks deeply concerned and starts looking up the ramp for possible DEA back up. Williams rolls the champ back into the ring and steps between the ropes and covers him, but Davin kicks out at two. Williams gets to his feet and pulls Davin up and hits a release belly to back suplex. Moreland hits the mat hard, and Williams immediately pounces on him, but once again, he can only get a two count. The champion pulls himself to the corner and clutches his ribs. Williams charges in and catches Davin with a boot wash across the face, then unloads a barrage of kicks to Moreland’s ribs. LD grabs Davin’s legs and pulls him to the middle of the ring and covers, but the champ shows his resiliency and rolls his shoulder. LD pulls Davin to his feet and tries a whip to the ropes, but Davin reverses it and catches LD on the rebound with a DOLPHIN KICK! LD hits the mat, lights clearly dimmed, but Davin can’t take advantage of it, because he hit the mat hard too. Moreland slowly crawls across the ring and drapes his arm across Williams chest, one, two, thr….NO! Davin looks a little frustrated and grabs his ribs and winces in pain. Moreland pulls Williams to his feet. We are almost thirty minutes into this match, so Williams has wrestled over an hour tonight, he has to be exhausted. Moreland sends him to the ropes and somehow finds the strength to press Williams over his head, it appears Davin is going for an elevated Really Good Diamond Cutter, but Williams slips out of Moreland’s grasp and lands on his feet behind him, grabs an arm and spins him to the mat and locks Moreland in a cross face! Williams pulls back on Moreland’s head, while keeping his weight across Moreland’s ribs as well! Every few seconds Williams drops his full weight on those injured ribs. Moreland howls in pain, and the referee is right there asking him if he wants to quit. The crowd is going insane thinking Moreland will surrender the title. Davin fights through the pain, and after a whole lot of agonizing minutes, he manages to reach the bottom rope and force the break. Williams keeps the hold on until the referee is about to call for the disqualification, then breaks the hold and slumps to the mat. Williams is up first and he pulls Davin to his feet and connects with several shots to the ribs, then sends Moreland to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a pendulum back breaker. Davin howls in pain, and Williams covers again, but once again cannot keep the champ’s shoulders down. LD pulls him up again and tries a whip, but Davin reverses it, but lowers his head a moment too soon, LD catches him and is about to go for a CANADIAN DESTROYER! But Davin tries to reverse it to a backdrop, but LD holds on and tries a sunset flip, Davin hooks LD’s legs and leans forward, even grabbing the middle rope for a little extra leverage, but LD still manages to kick out at two. Now Davin shows some real frustration, getting to his feet and grabbing the referee and yelling that it was a three count. The referee disagrees with Davin’s assessment of the situation, so Davin rears back to nail the referee, but Williams grabs him from behind and gets the one, two, thre……NO! Davin kicks out of the backslide JUST before the referee’s hand hits the mat for the third time. Both men get to their feet quickly, but LD catches Davin with a kick to the ribs that drops him to one knee, Williams rolls Moreland up in a Mahistral cradle, but the champ kicks out. You can see Williams is running on fumes, and he is a little too slow to his feet this time and Davin ducks a clothesline attempt, spins LD around and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Moreland looks at the crowd and laughs, then falls across LD and yells for the ref to count. One……two……thre…..NO! Williams gets his foot on the bottom rope! Moreland is FURIOUS! He pulls LD to his feet and sets him on the top rope facing the crowd. Davin climbs up behind LD and grabs him for a top rope Olympic slam, but Williams slips out of his grip again, lands on his feet and catches Moreland with a LUNGBLOWER! Only it probably should have been called a rib breaker. Davin convulses in pain. Williams pulls him to his feet and sets Moreland on the top rope, also facing the crowd, and climbs up for a dragon suplex! But Davin hits Williams with several elbows to the face. Williams is teetering, and just before he falls off, he grabs Moreland and hits a belly to back suplex off the top rope! Both men’s shoulders are down, the referee hits the mat, one, two, THREE! Wait, what happened here? The referee calls for the title, both men remain on the mat. Officials rush to the ring to get a decisive finish. As they argue both men pull themselves to their feet using the ropes. Finally we get a replay on the OOTron, and we see Williams rolled his shoulder a fraction of a second before the referee hit the mat for the third time! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! WINNER in 44:08 and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION – LD WILLIAMS The referee hands the title to Williams and he slumps to the mat overcome with emotion. Davin Moreland is standing in the middle of the ring, his mouth hanging open in absolute shock. The members of Drink & Destroy flood the ring and congratulate Williams as confetti falls from the ceiling and the crowd roars their approval. Davin slowly steps out of the ring and makes the long walk to the back as a former champion, Sam trying to console him the whole way. We cut back to the ring and see Williams standing on the turnbuckle, the OOWF World Heavyweight Title on one shoulder, and his half of the OOWF World Tag Team Title on the other. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days IV! Live, March 1, from Springfield, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 2, Live! February 11th from Springfield, Minnesota
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