IHOP vs. THE HEROES GUILD – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Cage MatchThe Heroes, Crete, Blitz and Nayr, are announced and sprint to the ring. Instead of going through the cage door, they climb the cage and sit on top of the cage and wave to the crowd and get the crowd fired up, chanting HE-ROES, HE-ROES. They climb down and wait for the champs to make their way to the ring. The OOWF Campeonas de Trios champions, SYB, Skurge and The Amnesiac are announced next, and they make their way to the top of the ramp, flanked by The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik, Monkh and someone who looks like it could be Jeffrey From Las Vegas, but he is so wrapped up in bandages, it’s hard to tell. They make their way to the ring, SYB is in surprisingly good shape considering his recent hospital stays. The champs step into the cage, the referee calls for the bell and locks the door, and this one is underway.
Nayr charges across the ring and catches an unsuspecting SYB with a drop kick before he can get out of the ring, looks like he will be the legal man in the ring. Nayr pulls him to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then leaps in the air and hits a spinning heel kick to the back of SYB’s head that sends him into the cage face first. As SYB rebounds, Nayr takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold, then reaches out and tags in Blitz. Blitz climbs to the top rope as Nayr holds SYB down, and hits a senton splash on SYB’s back! SYB howls in pain, but Blitz is not done. He pulls SYB to his feet and sends him into the cage face first. As SYB staggers back, Blitz knees him in the midsection and takes him over with a tilt-a-whirl suplex, then tags in Crete. Crete comes into the ring, and he and Blitz each grabs a leg, and make a wish, then roll forward and NAIL Amnesiac and Skurge, who are still waiting outside the ring.
Crete turns his attention back to SYB and waits for him to get to his feet, then lands several stiff kicks to the back of SYB’s legs sending him to the mat. Crete grabs SYB’s legs and traps him in the figure four trying for the submission. SYB howls in pain, but will not give up. After several excruciating minutes, Skurge slips into the ring and breaks the hold with a kick to Crete’s chest. Crete tells the referee to get Skurge out of the ring and tries to pull SYB to his feet, but SYB hits the JERSEY TURNPIKE! Crete is doubled over in pain! SYB grabs Crete and throws him into the cage face first, then tags in The Amnesiac.
The Amnesiac steps between the ropes and sends Crete to the ropes and catches him with a power slam on the rebound, covers, and gets two before Nayr breaks it up with a kick to the back of the head. The Amnesiac pulls Crete to his feet and sends him into the cage once, twice, three times, and finally four times, visiting all four sides of the steel. The Amnesiac pulls a weary Crete to his feet for a suplex, but Crete slips out of The Amnesiac’s grasp and lands on his feet behind him. TA turns around and Crete catches him with a chin buster, then lunges toward his corner and makes the tag to Blitz.
Blitz comes in like a house on fire and takes The Amnesiac to the mat with a clothesline, then catches Skurge coming in and sends him into the cage face first. SYB comes back in and tries a clothesline, but Blitz ducks and catches him with a super kick for his troubles. The Amnesiac is back on his feet and Blitz grabs him and sends him into the cage, then on the rebound lifts him onto his shoulders and starts an airplane spin! He takes out SYB and Skurge and then drops The Amnesiac and staggers around the ring, eventually getting close enough to Nayr so he can make a tag. Nayr springs to the top rope, then decides that that isn’t enough and climbs the corner of the cage and perches on the top of the cage and tries a MOONSAULT! But The Amnesiac moves out of the way at the last second and Nayr crashes and burns!
The Amnesiac makes the tag to Skurge, and he comes in and drops an elbow across Nayr’s chest, and covers for a two count, but it is broken up by Crete! Crete pulls Skurge to his feet and hits the TIGER SUPLEX 85! Crete turns around to get out of the ring, but he is stopped by The Amnesiac, who hits PURE AMNESIA! The Amnesiac turns around and Nayr catches him with HALFLING WIZARD! Nayr celebrates before he should have and SYB charges into the ring and hits a HEBREW HAMMER right to the face! Nayr is down! SYB turns around and Blitz leaps off the ropes and hits a BLITZ FLIP on SYB! Everyone is down! The referee looks around at the carnage and starts the standing ten count. Finally the sides sort themselves out and Crete and Skurge tag in and are now the legal men.
Crete ducks a clothesline from Skurge, but hooks the arm and does one of those Rock float-over DDT’s! Crete covers, but the pin is broken up with a dive from SYB. This brings Nayr and Blitz into the ring, as well as The Amnesiac. As the four men brawl, and the referee struggles to regain order, Crete backs Skurge into the corner and sets him on the top rope and climbs up and hooks him for a superplex. The Amnesiac sees this and catches a charging Nayr with a big boot to the jaw. With Nayr down, and Blitz preoccupied with using the cage to grate SYB’s face like cheese, The Amnesiac runs over and gets underneath Crete and POWERBOMBS him to the mat! Crete’s head SLAMS off the canvas and his eyes roll into the back of his head. Skurge pulls himself up in the corner and steadies himself, then hits the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH from the top! The referee turns around and sees Skurge making the pin, The Amnesiac keeps Nayr at bay and the ref makes the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 15:11 – IHOP
As SYB and the rest of IHOP celebrate, holding their chimpionships high in the air, Brian Dennehy comes out to ringside with a sawed off shotgun and puts it to SYB's head as he backs up the ramp. He pulls SYB away from the rest of IHOP and heads to the back. The cameras follow him through the hall, and we see Dennehy push SYB into a room and lock the door. Dennehy keeps the shotgun pointed at SYB's head, then bends him over a table. Dennehy pulls a red ball gag out of his pocket and slips it around SYB's head, making sure the ball is snugly in his mouth. From there, he proceeds to make a woman of SYB.......repeatedly. Thankfully, the camera falls over, so we just get audio and not the graphic details. Just when you think it can't get any worse for SYB, Dennehy stops. He fixes the camera, and we see he is panting and perspiring heavily. He leaves the room and SYB stops weeping for a moment, and tries to get up, but he hands have been cuffed behind his back. Dennehy comes back into the room, this time leading a 1200lb steer. He instructs the Steer to put his legs on the table. We get a close up of SYB's face and his eyes go wide and a muted scream escapes from the ball gag, and we lose our feed.
The camera cuts back to the arena, where this was being shown on the OOTron. The crowd has been shocked into stunned silence. Skurge, The Amnesiac and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are standing there with their jaws dropped staring at the screen. Inside the ring The Heroes Guild have recovered and saw the entire spectacle as well. After a few more seconds, they break out into uproarious laughter, which prompts the crowd to erupt into wild laughter and screams of MOOOOOOOO. IHOP, still looking SHOCKED, rushes to the back to try and find SYB.
MATTE vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchSeamus McNasty is out first, to a bit of a mixed reaction from what he did earlier. You can tell the Irish folks in the crowd, because they are cheering at the top of their voices. Seamus heads to the ring, salutes those cheering, sneers at those booing, and waits. “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” plays, and Matte comes out just about dragging the Onslaught championship. Matte looks like he would rather be anywhere but here. He tosses the Onslaught championship on the announce table and rolls under the bottom rope into the corner. The referee calls for the bell, and we are ready to start this one.
Seamus starts toward the corner, but then stops and barks at the referee to make Matte come out of the corner and fight. Matte slowly gets to his feet, and Seamus charges in and tries a sneak attack clothesline, but Matte sidesteps and pins Seamus in the corner and lights him up with chops to the chest. Matte grabs Seamus in a side head lock and tries to bulldog him out of the corner, but Seamus holds on and throws Matte across the ring. Matte gets to his feet and Seamus clubs him between the eyes with a running forearm that sends Matte between the ropes to the floor.
On the floor Matte shakes his head trying to get his bearings back. Seamus starts out of the ring, but the referee stops him and tells him he has to give Matte time to get back into the ring. Seamus seems rather annoyed by this, but he waits. Matte climbs onto the apron and Seamus shoves the referee aside, which draws a warning from the ref, and hooks Matte and brings him back into the ring with a suplex. Seamus floats over and covers, but Matte kicks out at two. Seamus pulls Matte to a sitting position and repeatedly hammers him with forearms across the face, then locks him in a surfboard, driving his knee between Matte’s shoulder blades. Matte howls in pain, but will not give up. He fights his way to his feet and finally Seamus breaks the hold with another clubbing shot to the back of the head that sends Matte to the canvas face first.
Seamus bounds off the ropes and drops a leg across the back of Matte’s head, hooks him and rolls him over and gets a two count. Seamus pulls Matte up and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Matte catches him with a kick to the mouth that stands Seamus upright. Matte then bounds off the ropes and takes Seamus to the mat with a Hard attack clothesline. Matte keeps Seamus down on the mat, and repeatedly drives knees into the side of Seamus’ head trying for the submission, but the tough Irishman will not give up. Matte stands up, measures Seamus and hits a falling head butt, covers and gets a two count of his own.
Matte pulls Seamus up and backs him into the corner. He lands a few more chops, then delivers several shoulders into Seamus’ mid-section. Matte takes a couple of steps back and tries one last shoulder, but Seamus catches him with a knee to the face as he is coming in. Matte staggers backward, Seamus comes out of the corner and catches him with a kick to the gut doubling him over, then runs the ropes and takes Matte to the mat with a spinning neck breaker. Seamus covers again, but once again Matte slips out at two. Seamus shows a little frustration and hammers Matte with closed fist punches to the face, drawing a second warning from the referee. One more warning and Seamus will be disqualified. Unfazed, Seamus pulls Matte to his feet, traps his arms, and repeatedly slams him in the face with head butts, until Matte can barely stand. Then he lifts Matte and hits a PILEDRIVER! Matte is DONE! Seamus floats over and covers, but once again, somehow, Matte manages to roll his shoulder before the three count.
Seamus shows a little frustration now, but also knows he is dangerously close to a disqualification. He lifts a dazed Matte by the hair and shoves him into the corner and sets him on the top rope. Seamus slowly climbs up after him for a superplex, but Matte fights him off with rights and lefts to the face, then finishes him off by biting him on the bridge of the nose! Matte shoves Seamus off the top rope sending him to the mat, then hits a flipping senton that seems to do just as much damage to him as it did to Seamus. Matte is on his feet first, but Seamus gets an eye rake in behind the referee’s back. He sends Matte to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Matte ducks it, grabs Seamus and hits a side Russian leg sweep! Matte gets to his feet and heads to the top rope, he waits for Seamus to get to his feet, and when he does, Matte leaps and tries a hurracarana, but Seamus catches him and delivers a TRIPLE POWER BOMB! On the last one Seamus sits out and covers, the referrer falls to the mat, one, two, thr…..WAIT What happened?
Thim Reynolds pulled the referee out of the ring! He slides in behind Seamus and connects with a stiff kick to the back of Seamus’ head! Seamus falls to the mat, and Thim is right on him, hammering him with rights and lefts. Seamus manages to get to his feet and the two of them go toe to toe. Thim ducks a punch and NAILS Seamus with a clothesline that stuns him. Matte grabs Thim by the arm and spins him around, but Thim connects with a punch to the jaw that sends Matte to the canvas. Thim picks Matte up and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then turns around and sees Seamus getting back onto his feet. Thim charges, snarling the whole way, and spears Seamus taking him to the mat.
Matte gets to his feet on the outside and shakes his head. He looks at the referee who has waved this match off. Matte takes his title, shrugs his shoulders and heads up the ramp. The referee, meanwhile, calls for reinforcements from the back, and police once again make their way to an OOWF ring and try to break up the melee. At the first sight of police, Seamus bails out of the ring. He eyes them suspiciously and points to his head, then slowly heads around the ring and up the ramp.
WINNER – no contest in 9:14
THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Taipei Fence I Quit MatchEach team takes a gander at their surroundings once they enter. An imposing 15 foot high black barred steel cage, about four feet between the fence and the ring, with barbed wire interwoven between each square, with no give to lessen any impact with the wire. Two metal buckets mounted to the base of each ring post, one with glue, the other an assortment of broken glass, nails, tacks, razor blades, and God knows what else. The ONLY way to win the match is to make your opponent say the words “I Quit” into one of four microphones placed within the ring.
The crowd starts to buzz as our four participants stare each other down as our expert guest referee, Ding Wong Soo, flown all the way in from Taipei this morning, explains the rules to each team. The bell sounds and the Aussies and the challengers waste no time in going at it, lefts and rights at the bell and it’s an instant donnybrook. Moose pounds on OBJ, but Gator clotheslines Williams down. GB mounts him for some shots, but LDW blocks and manages to roll him over for some punches. Gator head butts him to break. OBJ fights back on MHJ and takes him down, then attempts to break him in half by putting his throat over the bottom rope, then pulling the rest of his body around the middle rope. Moose reaches his hand in the glue bucket though, then the bucket of goodies, and rakes a mix of glass and tacks down OBJ’s leg. Gator follows over and stomps on Moose while he’s down, making sure to stomp the fist of chards, to put them in MHJ’s hand. Gator Gets a fist of glue, but Moose kicks him thru the ropes and out to the floor, into the cage, and it’s Gator who gets the barbed wire first. LDW jumps on OBJ’s leg, and kz with some double teaming on the leg, and Moose works the calf until OBJ’s jeans are ripped and Moose opens up a gash on his leg. Williams jerks the leg as it bleeds, and while LDW holds it, Moose with a soccer kick to the wound, and OBJ’s hurt early. Gator comes back in having finished loading his fist up and levels Williams with a right to the face, and yeah, he’s bleeding now. Moose blocks a shot though, but Gator blocks back and gets a knee lift. Right hand to the jaw puts Moose down and Gator slugs the top of MHJ’s head and Moose is a bloody mess in short order too. Gator tosses Moose over the top and into the fence, and Moose’s shirt is all torn up by the barbed wire. Williams loads up, and drills Gator in the nuts to stop all that nonsense, and GB is DOWN! Williams drags Gator across the ring by his hair and props him up in the corner – and kicks him in the nuts again just to be a jerk. OBJ is on the floor with Moose and grates his face into the wire, then slams it into the steel. He tries to shove Moose’s head thru the cage, but has to opt for slamming it again instead. In the ring, LDW ties up Gator in the corner, and Williams gets some unprotected shots with the charded up punches, then hits a running dropkick to the gut to take the air out of him. LDW takes a piece of glass off his fist and blatantly jabs it into Gator’s forehead and rips it across in a sick spot. OBJ sneaks in from behind though and comes off the top with a spear to Williams!
Lefts and rights, and OBJ realizes he’s the last one who hasn’t gone to the buckets, but when he goes to the floor, Moose drives him to the post, and the glue bucket dislodges from the ring post. MHJ pours the glue onto OBJ’s back, then pops the other bucket off and dumps the glass, nails, tacks and all that shit onto him too! OBJ climbs back in, and Williams with a simple scoop slam and all the goodies go right into OBJ’s back! Moose brings a chair into the ring and drives it across OBJ’s back! Every shot to the back has got to be torture with all that stuff back there. LDW walks across OBJ’s back, but Gator explodes up and clotheslines Williams down! Moose pounds down GB, but Gator fights back and they fight to the floor. Irish whip into the cage and Moose eats steel again. Gator rams Moose’s face into the cage repeatedly, then pulls free some barbed wire from the fence and chokes Moose down with it. Gator grabs another piece of wire and wraps Moose’s face with it, then slams his face into the steel again. Good lord. Williams tries to sneak up from behind, but Gator catches him and flapjacks him into the lower part of the cage, and LDW’s head snaps back pretty nastily. OBJ tries to pick some chards out of his back to no avail and comes out to join the fun on the floor. With the wire still around Moose’s head, OBJ places the empty chards bucket on MHJ’s head… then DRILLS him with the steel chair!! And again! And AGAIN!! Moose crumples to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Gator drags Williams across the floor by his hair, loads up in the bucket again, and punches LDW right in the nuts!! Payback is indeed a bitch. Gator crotches Williams in the cage, then climbs the fence and peppers him in the face with right hands until Williams falls six feet to the floor. On the other side of the ring, Moose still has the bucket stuck on his head, and OBJ FINALLY loads up his fist and goes to the body like Rocky Balboa, rips Moose’s black shirt off, then goes to the body some more. He rolls Moose in the ring, bucket still on the head, and slams MHJ into the turnbuckle over and over and over again, the crowd counting to 27 before OBJ’s had enough. Moose staggers around, the blood visibly coming from under the bucket, and OBJ pulls the bucket off his head and there is indeed blood everywhere. But OBJ sucks in the cheers for a moment too long, because Moose drills him with a LOADED HEART PUNCH OUT OF NOWHERE before collapsing himself to the mat.
With both OBJ and Moose down, Gator goes under the ring for some more fun… and pulls out a plate glass table! GB slides it into the ring and sets it up, and it’s clear what he wants to do with it. Gator tries suplexing Williams from the apron thru the table, but LDW twists and lands on his feet. German suplex thru the glass? Nope, Gator counters and looks for his own… but Williams counters that with the good ol’ standby: the blind kick to the nuts! Gator to the mat, and Williams grabs him by the legs, adjusts him slightly – and CATAPULTS GATOR UP THRU THE GLASS TABLE!!! HOLY SHIT!! Glass shatters everywhere, all in Gator’s face, and after Williams gets the glass off him, LDW slaps on the STF~! GB’s trapped, blood pouring down his face, but will not quit. So Williams grabs a large piece of the broken table, and uses that to assist the hold, modifying it to a chokehold with the glass! He’s gonna slit Gator’s throat!! But OBJ is up and breaks up the hold!! He tries a camel clutch, but Moose is back up and wants another Heart Punch, but OBJ breaks the hold, and grabs Moose arm for a judo throw. OBJ tries to lock on a Fujiwara Arm bar, but Williams with a running knee from behind and that sends OBJ thru the ropes and back to the floor. Williams now uses the free barbed wire to assault OBJ, tying the wire around OBJ’s neck. Williams drags OBJ back into the ring by the barbed wire, but Moose grabs him and tosses him back over the top and they HANG OUTBACK JACK WITH THE BARBED WIRE~! As Williams holds on, Moose rolls out to the floor and loads up the fists again. Lefts and rights to an exposed OBJ who can’t protect himself and can’t breathe! Moose hits him with the chair a few times! But back in the ring, Gator is up, unbeknownst to LDW… and CHOMP! WILLIAMS IS DEAD~! That frees OBJ to the floor, and Moose sees what’s happened and goes after GB, but Gator hotshots him to the ring post! CHOMP~! MOOSE IS DEAD~! Gator rolls out, rips the buckets off of one corner, sets them inside and grabs the chair. Gator pours the glue all over the chair, then dumps the chards on the chair. This isn’t good. Gator grabs Moose and it’s a PILEDRIVER ON THE CHARDED UP CHAIR~! There is blood all over the ring, all over the ref, all over the floor – even on some fans in the front row. And let’s have some more, and Gator returns the favor again to LDW by taking some glass and carving up HIS face, too.
OBJ is somehow stirring and pulls out ANOTHER plate glass table from under the ring. The champs set that table up and they want the CALL OF THE WILD~! Gator grabs Moose, but Williams grabs his foot enough to distract away from the move. But as Williams crawls up and shies away from Gator, OBJ comes from the other side with the BOOMERANG~! Williams sells it to the floor. Moose has tipped the table over, and is leaning against it, but Gator kicks him in the head. GB puts Moose’s throat over the glass edge of the table. OBJ grabs the chair with all the chards on it… they’re gonna decapitate Moosehead Jack! OBJ takes the chair to the top rope. Gator has Moose held down. OBJ looks around to the crowd… and the bell rings??? A suited man hurries from backstage with a microphone to massive boos:
“Stop this madness! Stop it now! I am Thomas P. Whittington and on behalf of the Oregon State Athletic Commission, I cannot allow this bedlam to continue any longer! Get the gurneys, the EMT’s, paramedics, get them out here now! This debacle is over! When we agreed to have this rasslin show staged here, we were NOT told it would consist of such barbaric activities as what I’ve witnessed over the past 45 minutes. Per the Oregon State Athletic Commission, this match is over! And if I see so much as a hint of action in the remainder of this show that would be considered a criminal activity, I will shut the entire event down on the spot! Now get this garbage out of the ring!”
Mr. Whittington of the OSAC leaves to boos as the cage is raised. OBJ and GB are in disbelief, but set the table back up and hit Moose with the CALL OF THE WILD THRU THE GLASS TABLE anyway!!! Both Gator and OBJ collapse in exhaustion and blood loss afterward. The EMT’s and gurneys indeed do come out, and the challengers are hauled away. Gator and OBJ refuse medical treatment and instead want to walk to the back on their own power. They make it about ten feet from the ring and collapse to the floor. Medics quickly attend to them as well, loading them up, and taking them to a waiting ambulance.
WINNER - NO CONTEST AT 49:07 DUE TO STOPPAGE BY OREGON STATE ATHLETIC COMMISSION
<we cut to GM the Rick in the back, who has caught up with Thomas P. Whittington>
GMtR: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
TPW: What?
GMtR: I am trying to run a show here! How can you just come out and stop the match?
TPW: A MATCH? You call that a MATCH? A match is an athletic contest between two athletes in a competition, THAT was nothing at ALL like a match! That was pure barbarity! Those men could have DIED!
GMtR: Oh please, they have been in FAR worse than that
TPW: It appalls me that you are serious about that, and for that, you should be charged with a crime. What we saw out there was the human equivalent of cock fighting! Mr. Rick, I let the earlier match slide, where a referee, not even a participant in the match, was hit with a SLEDGEHAMMER! I let the match where two competitors were surrounded by FLAMES slide, I even let what appeared to be forced sodomy from a bull slide, simply because I was too repulsed to step in and stop it, but I will NOT sit back and watch four men do their very best to end one another’s lives! You CAN NOT tell me that that was within the bounds of a scripted match!<kayfabe pokes her head around the corner and sees TPW, then quietly shrinks back into the shadows>
GMtR: Ok fine, maybe they were a little overzealous, but I know my men, they were in no real danger…..
TPW: Mr. Rick, where are those men right now?
GMtR: Well……they are on their way to the hospital, but……
TPW: On the way to the hospital. Mr. Rick, if I see so much as a hint of that kind of action again, I will pull the plug on this show and make sure you never run in Oregon again. And furthermore, I will see to it that you are charged with endangering the lives of employees, OSHA will be happy to hear about that.<TPW turns on his heels and leaves, leaving GM the Rick standing there with his mouth hanging open. Erlana walks up next to him>
E: I think he’s serious
GMtR: Do me a favor, go get Poe and Darling and tell them they need to come to my office IMMEDIATELY<Erlana leaves and Rick heads back to his office>
CHRIS COLE vs. CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match“The Trooper” by Iron Maiden plays over the PA system, and your challenger—“Lionheart” Chris Evans—makes his way to the ring. Evans looks focused and ready to walk away with his first major OOWF championship. But he must first get past the OOWF Intercontinental Champion, “Main Event” Chris Cole. Cole comes out to his traditional “Master of Puppets,” complete with Air Guitar. No promo from Cole tonight, as he wants to get on with the action, and past the actions of Davin Moreland from last night. We exchange pleasantries, and our match is underway!
Both men immediately lock-up, and Cole gets control of the left arm. But Evans is ready, immediately rolling through and taking Cole over with an arm drag, coming up with an arm bar. Evans works on the arm, wrenching it in multiple directions—you can see the pain on Cole’s face! Evans gets them down to the mat, and applies the pressure. He releases long enough to land three knees into the arm, and goes right back to the pressure. The referee asks, but there’s no way Cole is submitting mere minutes into the match!
Cole finally makes his way over to the ropes, but Evans pulls him back into the center of the ring. Rinse and repeat, as Cole gets back to the ropes once more. Evans wraps his arm through Cole’s and pulls them back to the center again, but Cole uses that momentum to roll-up Evans. 1…2…NO! That was close! We nearly had the champ retain in quick fashion. Evans and Cole are on their feet, as Evans looks at the champion with amazement. Cole points to Evans, telling him to watch out, because he can end it at any time. Cole signals for another tie-up, but Evans kicks him in the side of the leg, a move that Cole obviously wasn’t expecting. Evans connects with a second kick to the side of the leg, and Cole screams in pain. But he also flexes his arms, points at Evans and immediately grabs him for a Leg & Head Suplex! He tosses over, pops up and immediately takes him over with an Exploder Suplex. Cole is relentless, finally connecting with a third straight high impact move, dropping Evans with a Michinoku Driver! Cover by Cole, and he only gets two!
There is a slight murmur from the fans, and we see Alexis Darling make her way to ringside, and take a seat next to the announcers, without saying a word to anyone.
Evans is slow to get up, and Evans catches him with yet another suplex, this time an Overhead T-Bone Suplex! He covers once again, and gets two. Cole retreats to a corner as Evans gets up. With his opponent up, Cole charges and connects with a Yakuza kick that also gets a near fall! Cole has racked up four near falls in ten minutes!
Cole changes his strategy a little, sending Evans to the outside. Cole slingshots himself over the top, taking Evans down. From there, he sits Evans in a chair. Cole, for some reason, then goes to the time keepers table and admirers his championship, the one that completed his OOWF Grand Slam. He then turns and charges at Evans for another Yakuza Kick, but misses! Cole has straddled himself on the chair! Evans connects with a Super kick, but Cole is still balanced on the chair. So Evans hops onto the ring apron, and takes Cole off of the chair with a clothesline! Evans rolls Cole into the ring, and climbs up top.
Evans flies off and connects with a Double Stomp to the midsection of Chris Cole. Evans covers…1…2…NO! Cole gets the shoulder up. Evans won’t let-up, lifting Cole into a fireman’s carry, turning it into the Lethal Vortex! He connects and covers…1…2…NO! Cole is nearly out, but kicks out in instinct. Evans gets Cole into position, and signals for the Chain of Olympus! Power bomb! He lifts him back up for…a second power bomb! He holds him in a pin position…1…2…NO! Cole turns to his side, and Evans uses that momentum to take him over, holding onto the left leg for the single leg Boston Crab. The referee asks, and Cole motions like he’s about to tap out. His hand drops toward the mat, but he pulls it up right before tapping. Cole is still in the match! After holding the Half-Crab, Evans finally turns through and locks in the STF. Both men are in the center of the ring, and Cole has a long way to go to make it to the ropes.
As Cole gets within 6 inches of the hold, Evans releases, going back to Cole’s legs. He steps through and locks in the Ode to Canada, pulling him into the center of the ring. You can see the frustration on Cole’s face, as he’s seemingly not himself tonight. Cole seems resigned to tap, but instead hooks Evans’ heel, pulling one le through, releasing the pressure of the Sharpshooter. Evans loses balance and drops to the mat, just as Cole pops up and drops multiple knees to Evans’ leg.
Cole lets Evans up, and goes behind to get in position for a belly-to-back suplex. Cole turns Evans to the side, curling his leg under, dropping Evans’ shin across Cole’s knee. Cole then takes him over in a back suplex. Cole hangs on to one leg, rolls through with Evans and locks in the Texas Cloverleaf! He pulls it upright and pushes his knee into the back of Evans’s neck. Evans is trapped, but refuses to tap. Evans reaches for the ropes, but Cole pulls him back to the center multiple times, not allowing Cole to break the hold. After two minutes of being locked in, Evans starts to squirm, and Cole is losing his position. Cole adjusts, stepping over into a traditional Texas Cloverleaf in the center of the ring. Evans struggles, but can’t move toward the ropes, and has no choice but to tap out!
WINNER by SUBMISSION in 22:23 and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Chris Cole
<we cut back to GM the Rick’s office where Poe and Alexander Darling are both standing>
AD: We have a match to get to Rick, can we speed this up? I have reservations at the finest restaurant in Oregon to celebrate my title victory
P: Boy, the only reservation you will be making is at the local hospital
AD: Call me boy again and see what happens to you
GMtR: ENOUGH! I need to talk to both of you. I know your match had been billed as a no-rules match, but I have the Oregon State Athletic Commission breathing down my neck. If they see anything they deem inappropriate they will shut this show down.
AD: Sounds like your problem
GMtR: It is, and now I am making it YOUR problem. If EITHER of you get out of line during this match, if EITHER of you do ANYHTING that will get his panties in a bunch, there will be hell to pay, do I make myself clear?
P: Crystal. Now, if you will excuse me, the CHAMP has some last minute preparations to make
AD: Shine that title up Poe, it will be mine soon enough!
GMtR: Darling?
AD: Fine Rick, but let me ask you, just what are you gonna do if it DOES get out of hand?<GM the Rick gets right in Darling’s face, slightly unnerving Alex>
GMtR: Darling, if you fuck this up, for the remainder of your contract, you will not so much as SNIFF a title shot. You will be done with your match and back at catering before half the boys are even ready for their match. You will be the personal whipping boy for every wrestler in the OOWF. You will be jerking that curtain so hard, you will make Rocky King look like Ric Flair. Do I make myself clear?<Darling glares at GM the Rick, then a smirk crosses his face>
AD: Sure thing boss. Is it ok if I go now? I have a title to win<Darling leaves and Rick slumps into his seat>
POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchRun DEA member Alexander Darling is announced first, and after his lengthy, pompous, entrance is complete, he heads to the ring, accompanied by Alexis Darling. Alex steps between the ropes and looks like a man who is completely confident that they will walk out of the match as the world heavyweight champion. His looks of confidence changes to a sneer as Poe’s music plays, and the world champion comes out to the top of the ramp, a black, blood-soaked towel over his head, the OOWF World Heavyweight Title in one hand, and Selena on his arm. Poe gets a nice ovation and makes his way to the ring. He and Selena step between the ropes, Darling gives a little look toward Selena and Poe responds with a threat that Darling completely ignores. The referee checks both men and calls for the bell, and this one is underway. Both men bail out of the ring before anything happens, and grabs chairs. They stand on opposite side of the ring, staring at one another and volumes seem to pass between them. Finally, they seems to come to a silent agreement, perhaps Rick’s threat DID make a dent. They toss the chairs aside and slide into the ring.
The two men meet in the center of the ring and the mood immediately changes to cold hatred. They stare at one another, and it seems like a lot is being said between them without a word leaving either mans lips. Darling slowly looks down to Poe’s oft-injured ankle, and he smirks. That’s all Poe needs, he unleashes a right hook to Darling’s jaw that catches him off guard and ends him to the mat. Darling springs back to his feet, but Poe catches him with several more shots to the face, then sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. Darling gets to his feet quickly, and Poe charges across the ring and catches him with a boot to the face that sends him over the top rope to the floor.
Darling hits the floor and grabs his jaw, but he is quickly back to his feet and glares at Poe before Poe can do anything. Alexander slowly climbs onto the apron and takes his time getting back into the ring. Poe waits in the center of the ring, daring Darling to come to him. Darling obliges, and calls for a test of strength. Poe puts his arms up, and they lock fingers and grunt like two wild bulls. Poe has the height advantage, which gives him the edge. He starts driving Darling to the mat when Darling kicks Poe’s ankle! Darling kicks it several times, breaking the hold and dropping Poe to one knee. Darling hammers Poe with shots to the head and face, then bounds off the ropes and catches Poe with a knee to the face that sends the champ to the mat, then out of the ring to the floor.
Now it is Poe’s turn to regroup, he gets to his feet quickly, but that doesn’t stop Darling. He charges across the ring and dives between the ropes and takes Poe to the floor with a suicide dive. Darling is up quickly and immediately starts stomping on Poe’s ankle. Poe fights back though, catching Darling with several shots to the midsection, then he reaches up and grabs him by the head and slams him into the guard rail. Poe gets to his feet and shoots Darling back into the ring and follows him.
As Poe steps between the ropes Darling rakes the eyes and takes Poe to the mat with a side head lock. Poe quickly gets to his feet and shoves Darling to the ropes, and takes him to the mat on the rebound with a shoulder block. Poe then hits the ropes, but Darling stays on the mat and Poe steps over him, as Poe rebounds, Darling leap frogs over him sending Poe to the ropes again. This time on the rebound, Poe tries for a clothesline, but Darling catches him with a knee to the midsection that doubles him over, then DRIVES him to the mat with a DDT. Darling rebounds off the ropes and drops a knee right across Poe’s throat, then keeps it there while the referee gives him the four count of doom. Darling breaks the choke just before the referee disqualifies him.
Darling keeps Poe on the mat and repeatedly drives knees into Poe’s side, then grapevines the arm, and hammers Poe’s ribs. Poe winces in pain, but that pain is quickly replaced by rage. Poe fights to his feet, eating several more shots to the ribs along the way, and backs Darling into a corner. The referee calls for a clean break, but he does not get one, as Poe DRIVES and elbow into the side of Darling’s head. Poe then unleashes a barrage of chops that nearly cave Darling’s chest in. Poe grabs a stunned Darling and sets him on the top rope, and starts to climb up after him, but Darling connects with several elbows to the top of Poe’s head that stun the champ. Darling stands on the middle rope about to attempt a double axe-handle, when Poe recovers and catches Darling with a stiff uppercut that sends the challenger off the ropes. Darling falls over the top rope awkwardly, hits the apron, then falls to the floor shoulder first.
Darling grabs his shoulder in pain, and Alexis immediately runs to his side with a look of concern on her face. Poe immediately leaves the ring and walks toward Darling and glares down at Alexis. She moves out of the way and Poe pulls Darling to his feet, hammerlocks his arm and runs the injured shoulder into the stairs. Darling grimaces in pain leaning against the ring steps, Poe gets a running start and connects with a boot to the injured shoulder, then pulls Darling off the mat and rolls him back into the ring and covers, but Darling kicks out at two. Poe is unfazed as he grabs an arm bar and puts all his weight on Darling’s shoulder, pulling his arm back. Poe has a look of joy in his eyes as Darling suffers in pain. Darling fights to his feet and Poe snaps Darling’s arm and wrings it and grabs his hand and lifts him off the mat! Darling howls in pain, but does not submit. Finally after several agonizing seconds, Poe lets him fall to the mat. Poe looks like he wants to rip Darling’s arm off and beat him with it.
Poe stands over Darling as Darling tries to get off the mat, his arm hanging limply at his side. As he gets to his feet, Poe grabs Darling and locks him in a chicken wing, then lifts him off the ground, once again trying for the submission. Darling howls in pain, but once again will not quit. Poe holds him up there forever, and finally wanders close enough to the ropes so that Darling can kick off the top rope and send both men to the mat. The referee starts the ten count, but Poe is up at about four. Poe waits for Darling to pull himself to his feet, then catches him with a shoulder block on that injured shoulder that sends Darling to the ropes gasping in pain. Poe then sends him into the corner, Darling hits shoulder first and falls to one knee. As he stands back up, Poe charges into the corner and tries for a big boot to the face, but Darling side steps and Poe hangs his foot up on the top rope. Darling immediately dives for the plant leg (conveniently the one with the injured ankle) and rolls his leg, violently twisting Poe’s knee and sending him to the mat.
Poe grabs his knee in pain while Darling pulls himself to the corner and tries to get some feeling back in his arm. Poe is on his hands and knees grabbing his knee and wincing in pain. Darling pulls himself to his feet using his good arm and charges out of the corner and connects with a perfect Randy Orton punt to Poe’s head that sends the champ to the mat. Darling flips Poe over and covers, but the champion rolls his shoulder at two. Keeping the dazed Poe on the mat, Darling puts his injured leg on the bottom rope and leaps up and drives his knee across Poe’s knee. Darling falls to the mat and uses one good arm to pull Poe toward the corner. He manages to grabs both of Poe’s legs and he pulls forward POSTING Poe! Darling then takes the injured leg and SLAMS it into the ring post several times, then traps Poe in a POST FIGURE FOUR! Poe grunts in pain and closes his eyes tight against the pain. Now Darling has a look of pure hate in his eyes as he threatens to snap Poe’s leg like a twig. The referee starts the ten count and Darling breaks at seven and hurriedly gets back into the ring, just beating the count out. Darling covers Poe and gets another two count, but Poe reaches out and grabs the bottom rope forcing the break.
Darling pulls Poe to a sitting position and rains elbows down on top of his head, and lands several cross faces across Poe’s nose that leaves it bloody. Darling slams Poe back on the mat and drops a knee across his face and covers again, but once again Poe kicks out at two. Darling lets Poe get to his feet, then grabs his leg and DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIPS him across the ring. Darling torques the hell out of Poe’s knee, and it sends him under the ropes to the floor. Poe pulls himself up and tries to walk it off and almost falls to the floor. Poe grabs the apron to brace himself, and from the inside Darling reaches over the ropes and grabs Poe and pulls him onto the apron, hooks him and suplexes him back into the ring. Darling floats over and covers for a two count.
Darling shows a little bit of frustration and heads to the top rope and waits. As Poe gets to his feet, Darling leaps trying for a flipping splash, but Poe drops to one knee and kind of catches Darling and DROPS him across his knee! Darling bounces off Poe’s knee, and grabs his lower back, his mouth drops wide open, but no sound comes out. Intense pain registers in Darling’s eyes, but no sound comes. Poe snarls and pulls himself to his feet and limps to where Darling is lying in pain on the mat, leaps in the air and drops a leg across Darling’s lower back. Poe plants a knee into the small of Darling’s back, grabs the injured shoulder and grapevines it and pulls back. Sweat pours off of Darling’s face as he fights the pain, he is nowhere near the ropes, so if he is going to escape, he is going to have to fight out of it somehow. Darling finally gets desperate and bites Poe’s hand, forcing him to break the hold.
Poe waits for Darling to get to his feet, then grabs him in a bear hug, lifting him off the mat. But the damage done to Poe’s leg won’t let him hold Darling’s weight for long and he is forced to let him back to the mat, and runs him into the corner. Darling hits the turnbuckles hard and he and Poe smack skulls and fall to the mat. The referee starts another ten count, and neither man moves at all until the referee hits six. Darling is up first, and he tries to pull Poe up, but Poe connects with an uppercut that rocks Darling’s head back and sends him into the corner. Poe gets to his feet and grabs Darling’s leg and pulls him to the middle of the ring and traps him in a sharpshooter! Poe leans back as far as he can putting all the pressure on Darling’s lower back. Once again Darling howls in pain, and once again, he will not quit. He works the move until he can get hold of Poe’s injured leg and upset Poe’s balance, sending Poe to the mat. Darling somehow manages to reverse the move into an ankle lock! Now it is Poe’s turn to howl in pain, especially as Darling gets to his feet and really ramps up the pressure. Poe rolls onto his back, careful not to let his shoulders get counted down. As he bends his legs to relieve the pressure, he pulls Darling in closer and HAMMERS him with several stiff kicks to the face. Darling releases the hold and falls to one knee. Poe gets to his feet and Darling pops up and charges, but Poe goozles him and CHOKESLAMS HIM TO HELL! Poe falls on top of Darling, but can’t get the three count.
Poe pulls Darling to his feet and shoves him into the corner and sets him on the top rope. Poe climbs up for a superplex, pulling Darling onto the top rope. Both men are perched precariously on the top turnbuckle. Poe has Darling hooked and is about to take him over when Darling kicks Poe’s ankle. Poe’s foot slips off the top rope and he falls down, crotching himself on the top! Darling falls off the top ropes as well, but fortunately for him, lands on his feet on the apron. Darling slips back into the ring and grabs Poe by the back of the head, pulls him off the ropes and DROPS him on the apron with a neck breaker! Poe grabs the back of his neck in pain as Darling floats over and covers, hooking the leg this time. The referee hits the mat and counts, one……two……thre…..NO!
Darling shows a little frustration, and barks at the referee, then grabs Poe by the head and hammers him with closed fist punches to the face. Darling gets to his feet and calls for the CRUCIFIX BOMB! Darling pulls Poe up and tries to lift him for the Crucifix Bomb, but his back gives out and Darling drops Poe to the mat and falls to his knees. Both men are down, again, and once again the referee starts the count.
Both men are exhausted as this match passes the forty-five minute mark. Poe pulls himself to his feet on one side of the ring, still barely able to put any weight on his leg. On the opposite side of the ring, Darling slumps against the ropes while Alexis shouts encouragement at him. Poe staggers to the middle of the ring and Darling springs to his feet and charges attempting a spear, but Poe side steps and shoves Darling to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a HIEROGLYPH! Darling’s head nearly makes it to the twelfth row. He hits the mat and his eyes roll back into his head. Poe falls on him and covers, hooking the leg, but once again, Darling shows his resiliency by kicking out at two!
Poe slumps to the mat next to the Boy and looks at him for a moment, then snarls and pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a boot to the midsection, then hooks him and DROPS him with an OBELISK! Darling is dead. That’s it, it’s over. Poe drags himself over to Darling and drapes an arm across his chest, the referee falls to the mat
One…..
Two…..
Thre……NO!
Jesus H. Christ on a cracker, how did Darling kick out of that? Poe slowly gets to his feet and pulls a dead Alexander Darling to his feet and sends him to the ropes, Poe tries a clothesline, but somehow Darling ducks. On the rebound, Darling tries a cross body block, but Poe catches him, and tries to heft him up for a slam, but Darling shifts his weight and grabs Poe around the head and PLANTS him with a DDT! Darling gets to his feet and pulls Poe up to his feet, lifts him, CRUCIFIX BOMB! Poe hits the mat hard, and Darling folds him up like an accordion and covers…..
One…..
Two…..
THRE…..NO!
Now it is Darling’s turn to look shocked. He struggles to his feet as the announcer announces that fifty five minutes have passed. He kicks Poe until Poe is face down on the mat, then grabs his arms and hits the CURBSTOMP! Darling flips Poe over again and locks in the DARLING VICE! Poe fights the move, reaching up and hammering Darling in the face with closed fists, weakening Darling’s grip. Poe manages to sit up, taking the pressure off his throat and neck and catches Darling with several closed fist punches to the temple until he finally breaks the hold. Both men get to their feet and Darling tries a kick to the midsection, but Poe catches his leg. Darling connects with an enzuguri that rocks the big man! Darling heads to the corner, pulling Poe with him, grabs a front face lock and climbs the turnbuckle and is going to try a tornado DDT! Before he can pull the move off though, Poe slips free and grabs Darling, lifts him up, and drops him with a powerbomb ON THE TURNBUCKLE! The back of Darling’s head hits the metal that connects the turnbuckle to the ring. Poe holds on, and when he lifts him again, we see blood running off the back of Darling’s head and down his back. Poe turns and DRIVES Darling to the mat with a second power bomb, holds on, and gives one final power bomb. Darling’s eyes roll back into his head, and Poe crawls over to Darling, hooks his leg and folds him up and gets the one, two, three. This one, mercifully, is over.
WINNER in 58:57 – Poe
After the match, Poe is handed the title and he slumps to the mat. Alexis slides into the ring and pulls Darling out and motions to the back. Firewoman and Davin come to ringside and they help Alex to the back. Inside the ring, Selena hands Poe the title and he slowly gets to his feet and looks at the title, then at Selena gratefully. The camera catches Darling stop on the ramp and turn around and look at Poe with hate burning in his eyes. Poe hobbles over to the ropes and holds the title high in the air and sneers at Darling. Selena holds the ropes for the champ as he gingerly leaves the ring, and we fade to black.
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