OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood Park, Texas
<GM the Rick comes out on stage with a mic>
The Rick: Before tonight's event starts, I am here to take care of a little business. There were a few injustices that happened at last week's event, more than usual. I am handling them all, but first I want to bring out a wrestler who was victorious in their match last week, but with some controversy. Johnny Icepick, would you come down to the ring, please?(After a few seconds, Johnny Icepick's new entrance music hits the arena, eerily reminiscent of the Main Event Mafia)
Commentator: Johnny Icepick, the wrestler who's gone from the cellar to the penthouse in one week's time. He pulled off a major upset defeating the debuting Beer Baron. Icepick looks like he's gained some confidence from that match.
The Rick: Johnny, thanks for coming down to the ring. We have a bit of a problem on our hands...
Johnny Icepick: We don't have a problem, it's you, Commish, who has the problem. I don't have a match this week. What the hell is it that you do that you didn't dare put me on this week's card?
The Rick: Well, that's just it. I apologize for you being out of action this week, but you will have a match at the pay per view. You defeated the debuting Beer Baron.
Johnny Icepick: Yeah, and OOWF wrestlers take notice. If I can defeat a washed up former champ, I can take you out like that(snaps his fingers)
The Rick: Yes, well, I reviewed the tapes and you did in fact use a foreign object to help defeat the Beer Baron.
Johnny Icepick: What the hell you talking about? I didn't do nothing, and if I did, the ref didn't see nothing. There's no instant replay in the OOWF!
The Rick: I do not dispute that Johnny, and your win will stand, but my first order of business is that there will be a return match at the pay per view. Johnny Icepick vs. The Beer Baron.
Johnny Icepick: WHAT?! I already beat that old man! You know what? Fine! I'll do it again, I'll beat that old drunk. We haven't heard from him since he left the arena with his tail between his legs. He's washed up. Sober or drunk, I'll beat him again cause I'm the new King of the Streets.
The Rick: Very well, good luck in your match, and Beer Baron, I don't know if you're watching tonight, but you will have a match at the pay per view, if you do not show up, your contract and comeback will be voided.(just as The Rick says that, one of the ring crew comes to the ring with a wrapped box with a note on it)
The Rick: Who's this for? (looking at the box) Icepick, it's got your name on it.
Johnny Icepick: What the hell?(he rips open the box and he pulls out a six pack of beer. The camera zooms to reveal all the bottles are empty. There is a note on the 6 pack. Johnny reads the note aloud) "You better train hard, cause I already started. -Beer Baron"FIREWOMAN vs. CHAD MADISONThe crowd is hyped for what should prove to be a pretty good match. “Cowboy” by Kid Rock fires up (because I have no idea what else to use), and “Cowboy” Chad Madison makes his way to the ring in full over-the-top Cowboy regalia. He slaps hands with the crowd on the way into the ring, and starts doing some lasso tricks once he gets in. After the fun little rope trick display, he disposes of all the cowboy gear to the outside, and awaits his opponent. “Firewoman” comes over the PA, and a subdued Firewoman makes her way down the ramp, and the normal ovation of boos she receives is certainly tamped down by this attitude. Firewoman looks like she'd rather be anywhere else as she climbs into the ring and makes her way to a neutral corner. Hale looks oddly in Firewoman's direction, but obviously thinks that's good enough and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Madison slowly approaches Firewoman, who simply looks bored. They lock up, and it's a stalemate for a bit before Madison forces Firewoman into the corner. He assaults her with some knife-edge chops, and then tries for a Mount Punch. He gets a couple off before Firewoman turns the tables and reverses it into a Power bomb. Firewoman takes her time climbing the turnbuckle and takes off for a BFE, but Madison rolls out of the way as Firewoman eats canvas. Madison goes all Orton Stomp on Firewoman and appears to be in control as he locks on a chin lock. This essentially serves to piss Firewoman off, and she fights back with some chops of her own. Fire appears re-focused as she nails an Enziguri, and uses the ropes as leverage as she hits a Slingshot Northern Lights Suplex and bridges into the cover! Sweet move, but it unfortunately only gets a 2 count. Fire looks to follow up as Madison rolls onto his stomach, and Firewoman locks on a Surfboard Hold. Fire looks bored as time passes. One minute...Two Minutes...Five Minutes pass before Fire finally hits a Motherfucking Curbstomp!
Fire covers, but Madison bravely kicks out at 2. Fire seems unconcerned as she runs the ropes and tries for a Firesault, but Madison again deftly rolls out of the way. Both competitors are down, and Hale starts a count. Firewoman is up first at 5, and she takes her time getting to her feet. Madison appears dead for all intents and purposes. Fire goes to Madison's head and shoulders and looks to pull him up...but Madison hits an INSIDE CRADLE! 1...2...3! HUGE UPSET!
WINNER in 7:41 by Pinfall...”Cowboy” Chad Madison!
Firewoman is not angry, but just appears nonplussed in the ring as Madison rolls out and takes off up the ramp after scoring the monster upset from the clearly disinterested and distracted Firewoman!
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. DH MAGNUSSONThe Hollywood Park Crowd is apparently an intelligent one as the first five rows have a giant tarp pulled up and ready to go, Gallagher-style. “Rebels of the Sacred Heart” starts to play and Seamus McNasty makes his way down the ramp to a very positive response. He charges into the ring and slides in, screaming “Faugh a Ballaugh” when he gets in, which, of course, the crowd decides to repeat, even though they have no clue what it means (Let's call it the 'Konnan Response'). “Calm Before the Storm” replaces the music and D.H. Magnusson makes his way slowly down the ramp, and the crowd clearly hasn't forgiven him yet for leaving Drink and Destroy (get over it already) and boo him unmercifully until he gets in the ring. Seamus McNasty apparently isn't a very big fan either, as he tries to get at D.H. before the bell. Fall River's Own Angelo Barros deftly cuts the big man off and calls for the bell before retreating out of the way...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
The two men slowly circle and Magnusson has an ultra-smug look on his face. Jerk. They finally lockup to a stalemate. They stay there for a few seconds before Mags is able to slip out and work a headlock. McNasty works out of that into an arm bar, which Mags reverses into a deep arm drag. Seamus hits the body scissors and both men back out to a neutral standing position. They go to lockup again, but Mags cuts in quickly and works McNasty into a hammerlock. Seamus slaps his shoulder twice (as required by law) and reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Mags slaps HIS shoulder twice and tries to work a Side Suplex, but Seamus blocks it and reverses into a hip toss and he attack Mags and works a chin lock with his knee in DH's back. The crowd is getting antsy. DH powers out of that and hits a Top Wristlock on Seamus, before slipping it into another hammerlock. This is clearly not what the crowd was hoping for in this match, and they start to express their displeasure. Seamus (obviously) slaps his shoulder twice, and shows a nice burst of quickness when he reverses the hammerlock and slaps on a headlock, which forces Mags to the mat. The crowd starts to boo, loudly. DH works to a vertical base, and tries to run the ropes, but Seamus hangs onto the headlock, leaving him in the dominant position. Trash starts to rain into the ring, and a “We Want Blood” chant fires up. Jerks. The 6 indy wankers here to see Bryce Larson are enjoying this greatly on the other hand. Mags decides to work out of the headlock with some wicked back elbows, and once the hold is broken, he unleashes 3 or 4 big European Uppercuts, which rocks the jaw of Seamus, and the crowd seems a little more content now.
Seamus is rocked and gets flung into the ropes. He bounces off but is able to duck a big clothesline from Mags. Seamus hits the other ropes and Mags sets up another clothesline, but Seamus goes in low and SPEARS DH! Seamus then assaults Mags with vicious lefts and rights. Seamus soon tires of that, and grabs Magnusson by the hair and just starts slamming the back of his head into the mat. Barros finally breaks it up. Mags crawls for the ropes and tries to pull himself up. Seamus charges, but Mags hits him with the LOW BRIDGE and Seamus tumbles awkwardly to the outside. DH does the “point to his head” thing, and slides out after Seamus. He whips Seamus into the barrier, and then whips him HARD into the apron. I'm guessing that back doesn't feel real good right now. McNasty stumble forward and Magnusson catches him and hefts him on his shoulder. Mags starts running, and LAWN DARTS Seamus right into the STEEL STEPS, splaying them everywhere. Mags rolls into the ring to break the count, and then rolls back out. He stalks Seamus to follow up, but Seamus catches him with a Drop Toe Hold, and Mags FACEPLANTS into the Steel Steps! Seamus smashes Mags into the steps a couple of times before whipping him into the Chilean Announce Table. Seamus puts on his invisible maid's outfit, and starts to do some housecleaning on the announce table. Papers and monitors go flying, except for one monitor which finds its way to the side of Magnusson's head. Ouch. He drags the near-lifeless and now bleeding Mags to the announce table, and rolls him on top. He drags Magnusson to his feet and stand him up. He grabs his hands and turns and HITS THE BLACK AND TAN THROUGH THE TABLE!
The crowd is clearly happy with this turn of events as both men have to take some time to recover from that. You can't win the match from the outside though, and Seamus realizes this as he comes to. Barros has been very liberal with his count, clearly wanting a winner here. Seamus dusts himself off, and pulls the limp and lifeless Mags out of the rubble before whipping him into the apron! Mags crumples in a heap, and it looks like it's only a matter of time. Seamus rolls DH into the ring, and yells “Faugh a Ballaugh” to the crowd. Good times. Seamus rolls into the ring himself, and doesn't appear done with Mags quite yet. He pulls DH up and hits a BIG Spinning Powerbomb, and that should end it. Seamus plays to the crowd a bit, and they eat it up. Seamus hits the near ropes, looking for one final Elbow Drop, but somehow Mags grabs his elbow and ROLLS HIM UP! HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS AND BARROS HAS NO IDEA! 1..2...3!!! Magnusson steals one!
WINNER in 13:22 by Pin fall...DH Magnusson!
Post-Match, a full-on slugfest ensues, both men just throwing haymakers at each other. Mags clotheslines Seamus out of the ring, but Seamus catches Mags with an uppercut as he gets out of the ring, and they brawl to the back, refs trying to break them up.
RUN DEA vs. THE HEROES GUILDDavin Moreland and Alexander Darling come out to "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine, entering at Zack de la Rocha's first yell of the title lyric. They get a lot of pyro and a lot more fan negativity. As usual, their entrance is like five minutes long as they slowly walk towards the ring. This entrance stands in contrast to that of the following Heroes Guild, who race to the ring with manic intensity to the epic notes of "The Bridge of Khazad-Dum". They pose for the fans on opposite turnbuckles, and the cheers are both loud and abundant. Davin and Alexander both smirk at this display like the arrogant heels that they are. We have very little discussion time before it's established that Bryce Larson will be starting off with Davin Moreland.
Russ: Remember Razz, last week Bryce Larson nearly took the pin from Davin Moreland, in a very controversial finish to the match.
Razz: That's right Russ, no doubt both of these men will be looking for some closure here tonight.
OOWF Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell, and we have a standoff here. Davin cockily offers Bryce a free shot. Bryce looks at Nayr, who shrugs, so he quickly spins and chops Davin with lightning-like speed. Davin no-sells this and chops Bryce. The pain of the impact makes Bryce partly turn around, but he comes back with another chop to the chest. Davin no-sells this as well and slaps Bryce in the face. Bryce is furious- low round kick to the back of the knee. Davin isn't ready for this, his leg begins to buckle, and Bryce keeps up the onslaught. After a couple more kicks in the same area, Davin falls to one knee- just for a second, he's right back up, but everybody sees it. As Bryce shares a smug look with Nayr, Davin tenses, and he spears Bryce as Bryce turns back around. Ouch. Davin hauls up Bryce and whips him to the ropes and connects with a huge power clothesline. He wants the quick pin but Bryce kicks out at one.
Moreland stomps Bryce a few times, hauls him up for a suplex attempt. Bryce slips behind Davin and rolls him up for a one count. Davin kicks out with such force that Bryce is backed against the ropes of Nayr's corner, and Nayr blind tags himself in as Davin is getting up. Bryce charges, drop toe hold from Davin, but Nayr springboards in with a dropkick to Davin's back. Davin stumbles and falls across the opposite second rope. Nayr runs in and nails a 619 and sets up on the ring. Unfortunately for him, he's now sharing a ring side with Alexander Darling, who brutally cross checks him into a turnbuckle. Nayr falls to the floor, but Alex is quickly down to pick him up and roll him into the ring. Davin is up and tags in Alex, and we have an assisted slingshot splash from the two, with Alex landing on Nayr's chest for the pinning predicament. Early two count, and Nayr may be in some trouble here.
Alex methodically goes to work on Nayr's legs, first stomping them and then applying the Darling Money Clip. Bryce is in to break this up quickly, he knows how much depends on Nayr's high-flying. Alex does as well, and resents Bryce's interference, yelling at Bryce as he heads back to the Guild corner. This gives Nayr a second or two of breathing room, and as Darling returns to the prone Nayr and bends over to begin another submission move, Nayr kicks him in the head. Ouch. Alex drops and Nayr is up. Nayr runs the ropes, springboard corkscrew senton connects with Alex's back. Nayr rolls over Alex and goes for the pin, one, two, and Alex kicks out right at two.
Both men get to their feet, and Nayr tags in Bryce. Bryce and Alex circle each other. We have a simultaneous lock up, and both men strain before Bryce gets the go-behind. Elbows to the head from Alex, who spins around for the go-behind. He goes for a belly-to-back suplex but Bryce lands on his feet. As Alex spins around, Bryce decks him with a super kick. Bryce tags in Nayr, then picks up Alex for a power bomb. As he delivers the power bomb, Nayr jumps up for the backbreaker, resulting in a double team move blatantly stolen from the Motor City Machine Guns. Nayr goes for the cover, but Davin is in to yank Nayr off Alex and throw him across the ring.
Davin helps Alex to his feet, then dashes forward, past Nayr, and gives Bryce a cheap shot that sends him off the apron. Nayr now finds himself alone between Davin and Alex. He spins around to confront Alex, who feints, as Nayr flinches, Davin turns him around and drops him with a chop to the chest. Davin picks up Nayr and holds him up for a power bomb as Alex climbs to the top rope. They're looking for a Doomsday Device-like maneuver, but Nayr takes Davin down with a Driver of a Thousand Truths instead! Meanwhile, Bryce climbs into the ring and grabs Alex and gives him the Transporter 2! Bryce gives Nayr some leverage for an assisted moonsault onto Alex, Nayr with the pin, could this be it, one, two, two and a half, no! Alex kicks out. Bryce and Nayr can't believe it.
Davin decides to stop selling the Driver after maybe ten seconds of action. He gets up and slams Bryce and Nayr's heads together. Nayr is out! Bryce is dazed, and Davin scoops him up- Elevated Really Good Diamond Cutter attempt, but Bryce squirms out of it. Bryce lands behind him, applies a sleeper hold, and locks in the Dragon's Lair! Davin is squirming but you can't no-sell this move, and Bryce has the definite upper hand. Of course Davin won't give up, but he might fade out this time. Angelo Barros raises Davin's hand once, and it drops. He raises it a second time, but we'll never know the effects as Alex comes in with a vicious stomp to the face which breaks up the move. Davin remains grounded as Alex rolls Bryce over and sets up the Curbstomp. All of a sudden, the crowd pops as Nayr springboards in and plants him with the DDT of Wind +3. Meanwhile, Davin has gotten up only to be met by Bryce, and the two exchange strikes. Neither one backs down, until Nayr dropkicks Davin in the back of the knee. Davin drops to a knee, and Bryce goes for Harry, the first of the Shining Wizards. But Davin blocks it by flinging Bryce's leg aside. Bryce lands awkwardly.
Nayr sees this and makes a dash for the top rope, no doubt looking for a moonsault or the like, but he's not quite fast enough, and just gets to the top rope when Davin manages to club him in the back a couple of times. Davin Electric Chairs him down to the mat. Bryce goes to help him, but Alex grabs his leg and yanks him down. Davin is quickly over to take advantage, putting him in a Sharpshooter. Alex picks up the downed Nayr, setting him up for the Darling Driver. The Driver connects, and Alex makes the pin as Bryce howls in pain. One, two, three.
WINNERS in 22:11 – Run DEA
After the bell rings, Moreland refuses to let go of the hold until he sees Concrete TG and Blitz charging from the back. The two DEA members slide out of the ring and make their way to the back as the two Guild members check on their teammates.
OOWF Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-FinalsTYTAN vs. THE DEADTytan rises from below the stage, mask covering the burns on his face from his Firewoman feud. The crowd is undecided as to how to respond. On one hand he's a dominating force in the ring, but on the other, he's just gotten weird lately. None of this matters to Tytan as he walks robotically down the ramp, and to the center of the ring, where he stands motionless, staring off into space. The Dead begins his entrance to a loud pop from the crowd, who seems to appreciate the direction he's gone since returning to the OOWF. The Dead enters the ring, as Tytan still appears to look off into the distance. The referee is giving directions, and calls for the bell. Tytan is no Festus though, and doesn't leap to life just because of the bell. The Dead stares at him for a moment, and then we see Tytan's eyes focus. He's not just been staring off into space, he's been gathering his energy, as he just EXPLODES at The Dead. He runs him backward HARD into the ropes, flipping Dead over and onto the floor. Dead lands hard, clearly not expecting such a move right out of the gate. Tytan follows him out, picks him up by the hair and (to the protests of the referee) flings him into the steel steps with a resounding thud. Tytan grabs him up and Vertical Suplexes him right onto the floor. Whatever is in that Agent X, it is obviously affecting Tytan. The referee remembers he's supposed to be counting, so he starts, but Tytan picks The Dead up again, and rolls him into the ring. Tytan calmly and methodically follows him in. He picks him up, and Spinebusters him to the center of the ring. He goes for the cover, but Dead is not really dead yet, and rolls a shoulder up at 2. Tytan steps away, gathering his thoughts as the referee checks on Dead. Dead shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, and slowly gets up. Tytan has, meanwhile, been taking the pad off one of the turnbuckles, and then when he's done he turns back to the center of the ring. Tytan stands like granite, but Dead doesn't make the same mistake twice. Tytan makes a move, and Dead gets him down quickly with a drop toe-hold. He leaps up and applies some strong foot-stomps. Tytan instinctively covers his head, and Dead takes the opportunity to put him in the Deathlock. Dead wants to get out of this match quickly, and gradually applies more and more pressure. Tytan doesn't scream, but you can tell he's feeling it by how squinty his eyes are getting. Tytan starts the slow, deliberate, attempt to crawl to the ropes. Dead locks in tighter, but Tytan is tall enough that he eventually makes it to the ropes. The referee starts to count for Dead to release, which he does at 4.99999, followed by a well placed kick to Tytan's head. Instead of knocking him out, though, this seems to enrage Tytan. He stands up quickly, and approaches Dead, taking him down with a HUGE clothesline. He jumps down and peppers Dead with some stiff punches, so Dead's only choice is to put his hands up to protect himself. The referee tries to intervene, and eventually starts the count, which Tytan stops almost immediately. He picks Dead up, and slingshots him into the ropes, but Dead is still not out of it. Dead counters by bouncing off the second ropes, trying to go for the Springboard DDT, but Tytan catches him mid-air, flips him over, and hits a Backbreaker. He picks Dead up again and Sidewalk Slam! He picks him up a third time, as Dead fights for air, and lifts him up and over... Snake Eyes on the exposed turnbuckle. Uh-oh, Dead has been busted open! Blood drips down into Dead's eyes, making it hard for him to see. Could the streak be over? Tytan lifts Dead up and sits him on the turnbuckle, and goes to the second ropes. He tries to get him up for the Ultimo Ending, but Dead has enough in him that he pushes Tytan off. Tytan falls backward and Dead gets down, still wiping blood from his eyes. The ref checks on Tytan, and then on Dead. Seeing that both are mostly conscious, we continue. Tytan comes up behind Dead and tries to apply the Masterlock. Dead pushes him off once, and then, throws out a big Close the Casket, almost instinctively. Instincts work, as it lands right in the sweet spot on Tytan's jaw, knocking him out cold. Dead sees his opportunity and pounces. He pins and one-two-three! The streak remains intact!
WINNER in 15:59 – The Dead
SPIN HANSEN vs. CHRIS EVANSThis one should prove to be an interesting matchup between a re-committed Hansen and the rookie with something to prove in Evans. Out first to “More Human Than Human” is Hansen, who's got that crazed look in his eyes. The crowd seems to enjoy said crazed look and gives him a hearty welcome into the ring. The music changes to “The Trooper” as Chris “Cubheart” Evans makes his way to the ring wearing a Run DEA t-shirt, and Firewoman's doppleganger comes out to a smattering of boos because the crowd is pre-disposed to hate everything Run DEA. However, that opinion seems to be lessening a bit week-by-week. Interesting. Anyway, Evans climbs into the ring and does some douchey posing, ensuring boos from the crowd. Your referee for this one is the disinterested Mel Creech, who appears to take a nip off his hip flask before calling for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Immediately, Hansen charges across the ring, presumably to pummel the holy hell out of Evans. Evans, however, saw it coming, and destroys Hansen with a sweet dropkick on the charging maniac. Hansen doesn't fall, but he spins 180 degrees and doubles over. Shitty Bulldog from Evans plants Hansen into the mat. Evans quickly scrambles up the turnbuckle and hits a sweet Split-Legged Moonsault. He goes for the early cover, but Hansen kicks out before 2. Evans is up quickly and Hansen struggles to his feet. Evans hits the ropes and PLANTS Hansen with a Cyclone of Chaos, and he covers again, which barely gets 2. Hansen rolls to his knees as he tries to shake out the cobwebs. He does get to his feet, but Evans is there to whip him into the ropes, and hit Zeus' Fury. Again Evans covers, but again Hansen kicks out after a weak 2 count. Hansen appears more shaken than hurt and tries to get up again. Evans runs at him and tries for a Swinging Neckbreaker. Hansen catches him, and Evans tries to recover with a Head Scissors Takeover, but Hansen reverses THAT into a Powerbomb.
Both men are down momentarily, but Hansen recovers first. He charges over with a Running Knee Drop to the face, and goes all technical wrestling on Evans with some lefts and rights to the grill. Hansen simply bludgeons Evans for a good 2 minutes before pulling him up and whipping him to the turnbuckle. BIG SPLASH from Hansen, and he then assaults Evans with some Matt Morgan-esque Back Elbows. Evans is staggered. Hansen sits Evans on the top turnbuckle, and then violently pulls him off with a big overhead bodyslam. Running Hogan Legdrop from Hansen and he quickly hooks the leg. LONG 2-count from Creech, but Evans is able to kick out of it. Hansen pulls Evans up and blasts him with 4 straight headbutts. This busts Evans open right above the eye, which puts a big grin on Hansen's face. Sick bastard. He pulls up the near-dead Evans and hooks him in. He signals to the crowd and hits the JAGERBOMB! That's probably it. 1....2....thre...NO! Evans got his hand on the rope and by some miracle Creech saw it. Weird. Hansen snarls at Creech and yanks Evans to the middle of the ring. He locks on the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Evans is in BIG TIME trouble and really has no options here. Creech leans in asking him if he wants to quit, and Evans grabs onto Creech's shirt. Creech tries to pull himself away and pokes himself in the eye! Clearly, this permanently maims Creech and he falls down in a heap. This allows Evans to poke Hansen in the eye, and the hold is broken.
Everyone is down for a bit, but it's Hansen up first and he's clearly pissed off. He crosses the ring and starts stomping away on the recovering Evans. Hansen finally quits stomping and decides that smashing Evans' head to the mat is a better idea. He scrambles Evans' brain up a bit, and Creech finally comes to after violently poking himself in the eye. Hansen's had enough and he pulls Evans up, and locks him in for the Hair Of The Dog! He's got Evans up...and Evans slips out the back door! LUNGBLOWER from Evans, and Hansen is now in trouble. Creech kinda starts to count as both men are down, but his heart isn't really in it, mainly because he doesn't care. Evans is up first, but Hansen is staggering to his feet as well. Evans attacks...JERICHO SPECIAL! Hansen is in HUGE trouble in the Google Plates and he's got nowhere to go. The referee asks Spin several times if he wants to quit, but he refuses, after several agonizing minutes, and escape impossible, Spin goes limp, bleeding from the mouth a bit, the referee immediately calls for the bell.
WINNER in 11:46 by Chris Evans!
IHOP vs. CONCRETE TG, BLITZ & ZANE MYERS – OOWF Campeonas De Trios Title MatchPyro pops, music blares and everyone makes their way to the ring. Ref calls for the bell and Skurge and Crete start thinks off. Crete hands Skurge a cigar and puts his hand out for a handshake. Skurge takes the cigar and looks to the crowd to see what he should do…Crete holds hand out again for handshake, Skurge grabs hand for handshake but pulls Crete forward for a short-arm clothesline, and we are off…
Skurge picks up Crete and puts him in a side headlock, Crete counters with a whip to the ropes, Skurge hits Crete with a shoulder block and down goes Crete, Skurge goes for a leg drop but Crete rolls out of the way, both men are up and both tag…
TA and Blitz square off, collar and shoulder tie up, both men pushing around the ring with neither one gaining an advantage; TA backs Blitz into the corner and hits hit in the chest with a knife edge chop to the chest, Blitz’s chest glows bright red, TA hits another chop and Blitz returns chop and follows up with a combo of lefts and rights to the mid section to fight his way out of the corner…Blitz picks up TA and hits a sidewalk slam. Blitz covers for the pin…1and ½ and TA kicks out. Blitz pulls TA up and hits him with a twisting neck-breaker. Again with the cover, 1….2 and TA kicks out. Blitz moves in to pull TA up but TA counters with a small package, 1….2…and Blitz kicks out…both men gain their feet. Blitz looks surprised but charges in, TA counters with a drop toe hold and floats over to a sitting side headlock…
Zane is slamming the corner turnbuckle getting the crowd to rally…Blitz struggles to his feet and whips TA to the ropes. TA leapfrogs Blitz to the far ropes and comes off with a reverse elbow, Blitz goes down and TA tags in SYB. SYB jumps over the top rope and hits Blitz with a leg-drop, SYB goes for the cover, Blitz kicks out at 1 and ½.Blitz and SYB are both up and Blitz catches SYB with a right hand to the jaw that staggers SYB back to the ropes…Blitz grabs SYB and whips hit into the far ropes, and catches him with a high knee to the face, Blitz covers for 1….2…and SYB kicks out. Blitz hits SYB with several knees to the head that leaves SYB reeling…
Blitz tags in Zane and Zane hits SYB with a northern lights suplex and covers….1…..2….and Skurge is in for the save with a kick to the back…
Crete comes in and hits Skurge with a double axe handle and both men begin fighting and tumble out of the ring…
TA comes in and grabs Zane and whips him into the ropes, Zane is off the ropes and SYB and TA attempt a double team clothesline but Zane ducks under and rebounds with his own double clothesline both men go down, Blitz comes in to the ring, TA and SYB are up and met with double team drop kicks from Blitz and Myers…Blitz rolls TA out of the ring and Zane goes for the cover…1….2…and SYB kicks out.
Referee yells for everyone to get back to their corners or he will stop the match…Meanwhile in the ring Zane tags in Crete who immediately begins working on SYBs leg, first with a couple of knee drops, then with a twisting leg lock…SYB is yelling out and Ref asks him if he wants to quit….SYB shakes his head NO and reaches for his corner….Crete twist again and follows it up with an elbow drop and covers for the pin…1….2….2 ½ and SYB kicks out. Crete comes up bringing SYB with him and powers him into the corner, tag made and in comes Blitz, shoulder block to SYB in the corner and down goes SYB, Blitz grabs the ropes and hits a kick to the chest a’la Jeff Hardy and tags in Myers…Myers enters the ring and grabs SYB and walks him to the center of the ring where he delivers a spine buster that plants SYB…oh this could be it…wait Zane is going to the turnbuckle, oh he should have pinned him…Zane to the top, he’s gonna fly…but SYB was ready for him and gets his foot up catching Zane in the jaw both men are down…Ref starts his count….1….2…3…4….5…6…7…SYB kicks up and stumbles to his corner for a hot tag…Zane does likewise…In comes Skurge and Crete…Skurge strikes first with a stiff right hand that knocks Crete down. Crete bounces right back up to get hit with a DDT, Blitz is in only to get cut off by TA with a spear that doubles Blitz over…Zane enters the ring but SYB meets him with a Jersey Turnpike that has Myers grabbing himself in pain…Skurge has Crete up and TA is set up for the Smokehouse Combo, order up BAMM! …SYB stops Blitz from making the save…Skurge covers Crete…1….2…3 and your winner…IHOP!
WINNERS in 17:07 - IHOP
THIM REYNOLDS vs. MATTE – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchBoth men are in the ring, and Reynolds tries to go for an early advantage by attempting a pre-bell Pearl Harbor on the slouching Matte, but the smaller man outquicks him, sliding out of the ring, hooking Thim's leg as he goes. Reynolds crashes to the mat and Matte slides back in, quick to capitalize with a side headlock. Reynolds struggles to his feet with Matte still holding on, and a shove off attempt fails as Matte bulldogs him down, popping the big man over with a beautiful headlock takeover! Reynolds struggles to his feet, tries the shoot off once again, and Matte hangs on again! Reynolds back to his vertical base, goes for the pick up, and Matte tumbles over the back, landing on his feet and springing up to latch the side headlock back on! The crowd cheers it's approval, but as referee Davis Hightower goes in to check on the hold, Reynolds grabs a fistful of hair and yanks Matte's head back, causing him to finally break the headlock! Reynolds buries a couple of stiff forearms into Matte's kindeys, then shoots Matte into the ropes hitting a major clothesline that turns the smaller man inside out! Quick attempt at an elbow hits nothing but canvas, as does a second, and Matte is back to his feet a step ahead of Thim, leaping over with a stunning majistral cradle!
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Barely a two count before Thim powers out, landing a diving double axe handle that scores across Matte's back sending him back down to the mat. Quick pickup by Reynolds, waist lock over into gutwrench suplex, and Matte catches air before landing! Standing diving headbutt by Reynolds hits home, and cover:
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Matte kicks out at two, and gets a clubbing diving forearm to the chest for his efforts. Reynolds picks him up, fires him into the ropes and launches the big boot...But Matte slides under popping back up to catch Reynolds with a picture perfect standing dropkick! Reynolds hits the canvas and pops back up, just in time for another! The trifecta has Reynolds on the defensive, and Matte ducks a wild haymaker swing, countering with a stiff superkick that drives Reynolds into the turnbuckle! Matte backs up to the far side, charges and lauches, but Reynolds CATCHES him in mid-air, pivoting and driving Matte into the turnbuckle! Reynolds piefaces Matte, jawing at him as he buries a few knees. Hightower in for the break, and Reynolds breaks for a heartbeat before sliding back and paintbrushing Matte with several stiff slaps. Hightower goes in to get the break again, and this time he gets between the two, allowing Matte to get out of the corner.
Collar and elbow, and Thim quickly grabs another handful of hair using it to force Matte back into the corner again. Reynolds feigns a clean break, but lauches another slap that ECHOES through the arena! Hightower begins to Reynolds back, but Matte grabs the bigger man by the neck and leverages him into the turnbuckle before opening up a wild flurry of flailing lefts and rights on Reynolds! Thim is covering up, but Matte continues, a shrieking whirlwind of lefts and rights! Hightower gets to five in his count before trying to pull Matte away, but Matte shoves him backwards! Hightower goes flying, and he's almost calling for the bell before he stops, while the crazed Matte continues to pummel the trapped champion!
WINNER via DISQUALIFACTION and STILL CHAMPION at 7:14 - THIM REYNOLDS!
After the bell, it takes three OOWF Blackshirts to pull the thrashing Matte out of the ring, while he continues to scream and claw at the stunned champion
THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match Outback Jack & GatorBait, as champions, enter first. Moosehead Jack & LD Williams hit the stage, point towards the ring and run—err, walk swiftly—to their opponents. OBJ & GB meet them on the floor, and we’re under way!
OBJ immediately gets paired off with MHJ, and LDW starts fighting GB, and “initial warfare” ensures! David Hightower hits the floor, trying to get all four men in the ring, but has no success. It isn’t long before OBJ gets a chair from a fan, and takes a swing at MHJ! He misses, and the chair is destroyed upon impact with the ringpost. MHJ then kicks MHJ in the chest, sending him into the guardrail. Moose follows it up with another kick to the chest, and then starts to dig under the ring. During this, LDW and GB are brawling near the announcers table, and GB wraps a camera cable around LDW’s neck. We pan back over to MHJ, who comes out from under the ring with a barbed wire bat! The match (fight?) is barely 5 minutes old and he’s got a freakin’ barbed wire bat!?
Hightower begs and pleads with Moose, but he simply waves the bat in Hightower’s general direction, and he flinches away. Moose swings for the fences at OBJ, but he moves and MHJ connects with the guardrail. We change scenes to see that GB has regained control over LDW, tying him to a chair with the same camera cable! Production crew members rush to the ring to get the camera hooked back up so our broadcast can be back at full strength!
GB heads over to help OBJ, hitting MHJ from behind. The champs double team Moose (Australian for two guys putting the boots to Moose, not just one), and attempt to stomp him into oblivion. With Moose down, they turn to see that the crew also untied LDW, who dives off the ring steps, taking both men down! LDW gets up, and gets a hold of Moose’s bat. GB & OBJ slowly get-up, and LDW nails each with the barbed wire bat! Both men are bleeding from the forehead, just 10 minutes into the match! MHJ gets back to his feet, grabs the bat from LDW, and he connects with a shot to both opponents! The plasma is now flowing folks!
Hightower is back in the ring, now praying that someone tries to actually have a competitive match. LDW and MHJ roll both opponents into the ring, and get into the ring themselves. Hightower calls for the bell, and the match has just officially started?
kz sends both Aussies across the ring, each going for a clothesline. The Aussies duck, then rebound with clotheslines that take both members of kz over the top rope and back to the floor! Hightower screams “Noooooooooooo!” As kz celebrate together in the ring.
Suddenly the crowd all stands up and looks towards the stage. When kz both turn around, they see Nayr bounce up to the top turnbuckle! Nayr flies off, connecting with a front flip Hurricanrana on LDW. Bryce Larson then slingshots up to the top rope, coming off with a springboard dropkick for MHJ. Our cameras pan to the floor and see that Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling have hit the scene, and are brawling with OBJ and GB. MHJ & LDW take a powder to the floor, only to discover said brawl, and end up joining it. All six men quickly make their way in front of the ring at the end of the entry aisle, where the brawl intensifies. The Nerds signal for a dive, which immediately garners a positive response from the crowd. They bound off of the ropes, and hit stereo Tope’ Suicido dives over the top rope onto all six men on the floor! Hightower finally calls for the bell!
WINNER in 3:59 (bell to bell, 15:43 total action) – NO CONTEST
All eight men are still fighting on the floor, and Hightower signals for security to come out. They do, but merely get punched in the face by the 4 teams fighting. Finally, a squadron of officers in riot gear is out. They don’t attempt to stop the fighting, they just use their gear to push all eight men, causing them to brawl to the back.
POE vs. STANKStank enters the arena first, looking focused and determined. He makes his way to the ring and acknowledges the fans, then warms up on the ropes. He stops and glares up the aisle as Poe, accompanied by Selena, strides onto the stage. They pause at the top of the ramp and Poe holds the OOWF World Heavyweight Title high before they walk to the ring. Poe climbs through the ropes and holds up the belt again, and then hands it to referee Davis Hightower, who displays it to the crowd and hands it off to the timekeeper. Hightower calls both men to the center of the ring and gives them their instructions, then calls for the bell.
Poe and Stank stand toe-to-toe, neither man flinching or speaking. After a long staredown, Poe smirks and says something. Stank smiles – and hauls off with a haymaker. Poe staggers, then comes back with a haymaker of his own. The exchange continues, with each punch getting bigger, until Stank staggers back against the ropes. Poe whips him across the ring and tries for a big boot, but Stank ducks it and comes back with a clothesline. He tries to follow up with an elbow, but Poe rolls out of the way. Poe rolls to his feet and grabs a headlock as Stank gets up. Stank shoots him off and drops to the mat as Poe rebounds, then springs to his feet and catches him with a belly-to belly suplex. Stank is up and stomps on Poe, then attacks his oft-injured leg, twisting the ankle. Poe manages to get his free leg in place and break free by kicking Stank in the face. Stank staggers back and Poe gets to his feet.
Stank tries to shoot the leg, but Poe side-steps and hits a double ax handle to the back. Stank drops to one knee and Poe drives a fist into the back of his head. He hooks Stank's arms and plants him with a double underhook DDT, then rolls him over and covers, but only gets two. Poe drags Stank to his feet and rocks him with a series of European uppercuts, then lifts him for a powerbomb, but Stank breaks free and drops behind him, reversing into a backslide that also gets two. Both men are up and Poe wrings the arm. He drives his elbow into the inside of Stank's arm, then tries for another rotation on the arm wringer, but Stank reverses it. Stank twists Poe's arm up – Heartpunch! Poe staggers, but before he falls Stank turns and drops him with a stunner. He makes the cover, but Poe rolls a shoulder at two.
Stank is up and pulls Poe to his feet. Scoop and a slam, and Stank goes to the ropes – Stankonia 2.0! Stank hooks the leg, but again Poe rolls a shoulder. Stank drags Poe to his feet again, and hoists him for the Stank-U. Poe reaches out and grabs the top rope, and drags himself free. Stank turns around and Poe kicks him in the stomach, drives a knee into his temple, and drops him with a spinning neckbreaker. He props Stank in a sitting position, goes to the ropes, and dropkicks him in the face. He drops a leg across Stank's throat and covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Poe backs Stank into the corner and lights him up with chops, then whips him across the ring. Stank reverses and follows Poe in with an avalanche. Poe stumbles forward and Stank drives his shoulder into his midsection, lifting him off the mat and slamming him back into the turnbuckles. After several more shoulders he drags Poe out of the corner and hoists him for a suplex, holding him at the top of the move for nearly a minute before driving him to the mat. Stank floats over and covers, and gets a long two count.
Stank grabs Poe by the hair and starts slugging him, stopping only when Hightower threatens to disqualify him. He drags Poe to his feet, sends him to the ropes, and plants him with a spinebuster, foregoing the cover and going right back to throwing punches. Poe manages to throw him off and rolls to his knees, catching Stank with a shot to the stomach as he moves back in. Stank doubles over and Poe goes to the ropes, and nails him with a running knee lift. He slings Stank to the corner and nails him with a superkick. He sends Stank to the ropes and levels him with the Hieroglyph, then falls on him for the cover, but only gets two.
Poe backs Stank to the ropes and knocks him off balance with a couple of European uppercuts, then shoves him back and ties his arms in the ropes. He gets in some free shots and goes to the ropes. He tries for another Heiroglyph, but Stank frees himself and dodges. Poe's leg gets tangled in the ropes and he topples to the outside. Stank goes to the opposite ropes, gets up a head of steam, and launches himself over the top rope! He slams into Poe, and both men topple part way up the aisle. Hightower slides out of the ring and checks on both men, then heads back inside and starts to count.
Stank is the first to stir, staggering to his feet at five. He grabs Poe, who lunges to his feet, spearing Stank and driving him down the aisle and into the apron spine-first. Stank collapses and Poe slides into the ring to break the count before sliding back out to the floor. He grabs Stank and slams his face into the apron, then whips him into the guardrail. Stank ducks a charge and tries to backdrop Poe into the crowd, but Poe grabs the railing to block and reverses into a DDT. Poe sits Stank against the railing and steps back to line up a kick, but Stank rolls out of the way. Poe's foot catches in the railing, and Stank roars off the floor into a clothesline that drives him to the floor. This time Stank rolls into the ring to break the count before heading back to the floor.
Poe frees himself and hobbles to his feet as Stank approaches. An exchange of punches staggers both men, until Poe ducks one, grabs Stank around the waist, and falls back, dropping him throat-first onto the railing. Stank rolls on the floor choking, and Poe heads to the ring. He slides under the ropes as Hightower reaches eight, but Stank dives forward and grabs his ankle, dragging him back out to the floor. Stank hauls Poe to his feet and sets up a suplex. Poe blocks and tries to reverse, but Stank blocks that as well. He buries a knee in Poe's stomach to free himself and tries an Irish whip. Poe reverses, but Stank puts on the brakes and pulls Poe back, hauling him onto his shoulders. Poe immediately starts throwing elbows into Stank's head and Stank staggers, then drives Poe through the Algerian announce table with the Stank-U! Stank collapses as well, and crawls toward the ring. He drags himself under the ropes as Hightower counts nine. Poe's hand appears over the edge of the apron and grabs the bottom rope just as Hightower reaches ten.
WINNER, by countout, in 24:14, Stank.
After the match: Selena grabs the Championship belt and skips around the ring to Poe. Poe sits with his back against the apron and stares at the belt in Selena's hands with a look of disappointment. Inside the ring, Stank drags himself to his feet and stares at the belt as well, his expression a mirror image of the champion's.
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