OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Tag Round 2

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF Invitational Tag Team Tournament - Round 2

www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=101503&tclass=

Donovan Viper & UnderDawg vs. Harper Camby & Tommy O'Neil
Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG vs. Outback Jack & GatorBait
FF Capslock & Stank vs. Hellion & Corax
REvolution XX vs. Microplay & JW Westgaard

Non-Tournament Matches

Semaj B & Thim Reynolds vs. Brad Smoley & Smark
Endo & Morte vs. Mark Vander & GimmickMan
Blade vs. Beast vs. Niles Anderson
SoulDragon vs. Chris Alt
LD Williams vs. Firechild
Blackdragon vs. Canadian Dragon
Attitude Adjuster vs. Johnny Adrenaline - Country Club Streetfight for the OOWF Intercontinental Title



As is usually the case, card subject to change

[mooseheadjack]

Donovan Viper is at GM The Rick's door and sees the updated Tag Team Tournament bracket.

DV: Harper Camby and Tommy O'Neill? Who are these losers? Some new rookie jobbers? Tch!

A huge finger taps Viper on the shoulder. He turns around to see huge Harper Camby with his arms crossed, And Tommy O'Neill holding his left fist, cracking his knuckles.

TO: Jobbers eh? Is 'zat wot yer t'inking? 'Ere we are buustin' blokes' arses around 'ere, causin' a ruckus. An' ye don't even know 'hoo we are. 'Tis Ok, tho. You'll know 'hoo we are afte' next week.

DV: What the hell d'you just say? I can't understand a goddamn word you're saying.

HC: He's saying that you'd best respect us. Because you'll respect us next week when you face us.

DV: Damn. You're a big dude. Bigger than Dawg.

HC: You're damn right I am.

DV: And you, you're that Irish guy with the killer left hook, aren't you?

TO: So you do know 'hoo we are. Gettin' some respect 'round 'ere 'arper. The big bad champ knows wot we're all about.

DV: Yeah, I know who you guys are. You're our poor little victims for next week.

TO: Ye want I knock ye out right 'ere ye big talkin' cunt? I kin show you some respect right now, I'll smash ye mangy face in an' make it like yer precious belt. An then 'arper 'ere will flatten ye like a bad plate o' haggis. Come on 'arp. Let's crush t'is sma'tmouth baastad wot's wot.

DV: Chill out, Lock Stock and Two Smokin Barrells. I know you and Bullet Proof Tony here are undefeated in tag team competition. I know you've both beaten some tough guys around here. Do you think it scares me? Do you think that means you deserve my respect? I'm The OOWF World F**king Champion. I'm the toughest motherf**ker here. And my partner is the Underdawg. The motherf**king UnderDawg. He feels no pain, he walks through Ultimate Hell like it's his pissing yard, and I'm the toughest bastard . We're the top wrestlers in this company. Hell, in this industry. So you think we should be worried because you can knock out Mike Tyson and this guy had a growth spurt when he was in high school? We didn't get where we were by underestimating our foes. Even little sh*ts like you.

HC: First off, I'm not little (DV: I can see that), second, I'm not Irish, so that Bullet Proof Tony joke isn't funny. (DV: Darn it) You best not underestimate us. You may be the champion, but that belt doesn't mean a thing next week. Let him go, Tommy. He'll learn to respect us next week.

TO: Yer lucky I'se a reasonable man.

Harper Camby and Tommy O'Neill walk off.

Viper wipes his brow: Whew! I can't believe I talked my way out of that one....

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF interviewer and all round little twerp Joshua LLoyd slimes up to Firechild as he is calmly taping up his hands....

JL: So, Firechild, whats you're reaction to last weeks match?

<Firechild looks around, as if he heard something, and wrinkles his nose as if there's a smell, notices Lloyd and decides to humour the dweeb>

FC: First, I'd like to thank the 3 Piece Set. No really I would, and from the very bottom of my heart, because their cowardice, which, while making them an embarrasment and disgrace to this company and wholly unworthy of the Tag Team gold they carry, gave me an immense opportunity to prove myself against competitors of the quality of Canadian Dragon and Chris Alt.

JL: An opportunity that you failed....

<FC stops taping his wrists and slowly looks up, giving Lloyd a (very UT) look of slow disgust with an added slice of imminent pain>

FC: [Sighs] Yeah, I'm man enough to admit I lost, I lost clean 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring. So?

JL:.....

FC: [Shouting] SCREAM IT IN THE STREETS, FIRECHILD LOSES, GOES TO 1-1 IN THE OOWF! YEAH!

JL: [Whimpers]

FC: [Slowly, calmly, almost under his breath, rising in intensity]
But did I lose to a tremendous competitor in Chris Alt?
Didn't I send Canadian Dragon flying into the guardrails and out of the match?
Didn't I have Chris Alt THIS CLOSE to tapping out?
Didn't I go toe to toe with two of the OOWF's finest for half an hour and lose to a roll up out of nowhere, in my SECOND MATCH!
[Calmly again]
If that's failure, then what the hell is your life?

JL:..........

FC: Seeing as you're here, I've got a message for Chris Alt, or even Canuck Dragon, hell send it out to the Establishment, the AYUFF, even Donovan Viper, with his pretty little OOWF title.
In truth, I am a bit pissed that I'm down to 1-1 in the OOWF, so if anyone wants a piece, just shout me out. But Chris Alt, I want that win back, so if you wanna play with fire again, it'd be an honour.

<Firechild stands up to go, but Lloyd is a worm, and doesn't know when to quit.>

JL: And what about you're scheduled match this week with LD Will.....

<FC turns back, an evil glint in his eye>

FC: Hell, I'm ready. I'm here to prove myself, and I'll take on anyone, anytime, that the GM decides on. The question is, is Williams ready? I mean, that was a NASTY shot he took last week. And is he focussed? Because, and not meaning to put thoughts in anyone's heads now, but if MY tag partner, and supposed buddy had tee'd off on me with a five iron, <raises eyebrows and waves hands> "by mistake" <meaningful DDP style look>... I'd be pretty pissed off! And doesn't Adrenaline have a big Intercontinental Title defense this week? And wouldn't he have had to take part in the tag tourney as well? Just a thought.....
But no matter, I've already got a reputation for putting on great matches, and for being a bit, shall we say..... incendiary, so it'll be a great match, and I have no doubt that I'll be back up to 2-1.
By the way, thats a nice suit....nylon, isn't it....flammable.....

<Lloyd visibly craps himself and scurry's away across the loading bay>

<Firechild grins, picks up his gig bag and walks over to his car>

[mooseheadjack]

*SFJ#2 is standing beside Canadian Dragon*

SFJ#2: "Dragon, how do you feel about your upcoming match against Blackdragon?"

*CD pauses and shakes his head*

CD: "Former World Champ...went through 3 stages of hell...survived Ultimate Hell against UnderDawg....having to face Blackdragon in a meaningless match..."

*CD drops the mic and walks away as SFJ#2 looks confused*

[mooseheadjack]

JA: The 15th at Augusta National. And despite this rainy Thursday morning, it's still the most beautiful place in the world. The culmination of the trio of holes nicknamed "Amen Corner." Which is why I'm here. Because on April 13, on Midweek Mayhem, I have been booked into one of the most vicious matches ever concocted within a drunken mind, a Country Club Death Match. Attitude Adjuster, Alan Capps, whatever your name is... you should be praying right now. Praying that in six days, I go easy on you. Praying that in six days, I don't show up angry. Praying that in six days, I don't take a page out of Tiger Woods' playbook, and use your skull as a #2 Titleist. Amen, indeed. Follow me...

[Johnny walks down off the bridge and the video transitions smoothly over to the 18th tee, where Johnny pulls a tee and ball out of his pocket and tees off, sending a mighty echo off the pine trees. The camera follows Johnny as he walks to his ball on the fairway.]

JA: You hear that? That's the sound of a golf ball being blasted by a three wood. Think what it will sound like when your head gets smashed in by one. Think of the echo through the arena. Think of the screams of horror from your fans... all twelve of them. Think of the sound of the ambulance siren as you get hauled away to the hospital. Maybe you'll only hear a constant ringing in your ears. Maybe you won't be able to hear at all. But hear this...

[Johnny hits his second shot and it lands on the back of the green. Johnny follows it up toward the clubhouse.]

JA: ...in six days, in the Country Club Death Match, you... will... lose. Ya see, you run your mouth and run your mouth about how I've never beaten you, how you own two decisions on me, not to mention a disqualification win. But tell me, Capps, what have you accomplished with those victories? Anything? That you can get the job done when there's nothing at stake? You have accomplished nothing. Ya see, when you're talking about being somebody, being a champion, you gotta come through in the clutch, which you couldn't do at Madness, and you're not gonna do in the Country Club Death Match. You wanna see "clutch?" You're looking at it...

[Johnny rolls in his 25 foot putt and turns back to the camera.]

JA: Attitude Adjuster, in six days, bring everything you got. Then bring a little more. And it's still not gonna be enough to take the Intercontinental Title from around my waist. Despite what our so-called General Manager thinks about both of us, you just ain't got it. Mark my words, I will walk out of Midweek Mayhem as if I walked out of Augusta wearing a Green Jacket. I will walk out of Midweek Mayhem... as champion.

[As Johnny picks his ball up from out of the hole, the shot fades to black.]

[mooseheadjack]

(A Dark room. With the lighting as it is, the camera cannot make out the figures, but from the voices it's obvious that the speakers are Mark Vander and Melissa Lane.)

Missy: Mark...I didn't see you come in here. You, know, I've been meaning to talk to you.
Mark: You and Alex. Always "meaning to talk to me".
Missy: It's just that...well...we haven't really had a chance. To talk, I mean. Lately. About your career.
Mark: What career? I'm cycling endlessly down the cesspool of the undercard, wrestling in pointless tag team matches and jobbers who probably won't even be in the company the next week. Now you've got some guy running the show, making orders throwing his weight around, I've really been thinking of hanging it up.
Missy: Really?
Mark: Why not? I could probably swing a cushy job at one of my dad's companies, make a few bucks, take vacations to Tahoe. This wrestling stuff is for the birds, Lis.
Missy: You can't really mean that.
Mark: No...No, I guess I don't. But it doesn't sound that bad when I say it out loud. So what's up? Endorsment deals? Am I hawking a new line of Memorial Day Peeps? Or perhaps I'm supposed to come out with "Attack of the Show" tattooed on my ass?
Missy: Nothing like that. Alex wanted you to have dinner with the new General Manager. Make a good impression. Maybe you could swing a World Title shot out of it. If we're lucky.

(Melissa walks out. Mark stands up, and begins pacing around the room. Shortly, he notices the camera. In a dim light, half of Mark's face is almost visable.)

Mark: Hello there. What's this? Oh, they put these things everywhere don't they? Hello, OOWF fans. It's me. Your old pal, Mark. Ever been in that place, where you think your life is going nowhere? Where you think that, no matter how hard you work, how much you train, what you're willing to do, there will always be SOMEONE just that much better than you, that much quicker, who gets that many more breaks. I know you have. Everybody feels that way. Even me. Look at me. I should be on top of the world. Rich family, fans the world over, I'm living the American Dream. But there's something I want more than anything else. Something that crawls under my skin each and every night, that eats away at my dreams and destroys my every waking moment. I will not, cannot sleep until I get my shot. I will not, cannot sleep until I feel the gold of the OOWF title wrapped around my waist, feel its weight against mine. It's a passion. It's an obsession. It will consume me until I win that title, or until I stand defiant at the gates of hell tearing appart some poor, lost, condemned souls rattling on and on in my demonic tones that I want to go back for just one more day, and one more shot at the OOWF. Playtime is over kids. Mark Vander, the man you see before you, the man who pranced around in front of you holding diapers and wearing logos on his tights. That Mark Vander is dead. Alex should know that by now. This "Rick" person better be ready for a dinner he'll NEVER forget, because if I don't get what I want, when I want it, the only thing that's going to be the menu is my fist in his throat. The shadow of darkness has consumed me. And soon, the whole OOWF will feel its poison. And yet, I fear, I think, that this will not be enough. And what will happen then? Then, I guess we shall see. Until then, pray for me. Pray to whatever god you believe in, or don't believe in, or whatever object or idol you can find. Pray that I am not lost. Pray that I am not found. Pray that the man you see before you can live again tomorrow. Most of all, pray for my enemies. Because for whoever stands between me and my destiny, hope is already gone.

(With this, Mark pulls the camera from its socket, and the feed goes to static)

[mooseheadjack]

Stank turns from the monitor.

Stank – I told you. Can I call it or can I call it, eh?

F.F. Capslock – Yeah, you were spot on with that one.

Stank – I was hoping he would snap before we met at the invitational, but it all still worked out in the end.

FFC – Yeah… I worked it out.

Stank – (rolling his eyes) Anyway… like I was saying. Vander is going mental. I’ve seen that look a thousand times. The state he’s in… he’ll never team again with a mark like Gimmickman. (camera zooms in slowly on Stank’s face) Just one less tag team to worry about after we win the titles.

[mooseheadjack]

"Killing in the Name of” Begins and the OOWF Tag Champs make there way down to the ring slower then usual. Both have bandages around their arms. They gingerly get into the ring and yell at the timekeeper to bring them the microphones so that they won’t have to move to get them.

Ax: I know you all were disappointed you didn’t get to see the Tag Champs in action at Mayhem but I hope you enjoyed our video package we put together. Chris and I stayed up all night watching our matches over and over again to pick out the best moments we’ve had here in the OOWF.

CC: It was much harder then you’d think. Ax and I have had many, many great moments and Queen’s “We are the Champions” is only like a 3 minute long song. A lot of great stuff had to be taken out.

Ax: We really should consider Iron Butterfly next time. I mean we’d still have to cut out great stuff to fit into the 18 minutes but damn it the people deserve to see the greatest Tag Team Champions in all their glory.

(Pause for boos)

CC: We do have some good news. Next week 3 Piece Set will be live at Midweek Mayhem. We still will not be able to compete however due to that ingrate Firechild’s shenanigans.

(Bull sh*t chants start from the fans)

Ax: Once we heal up and defeat the winners of this tournament we are going to teach that rookie the lesson of a lifetime.

CC: We won’t be medically cleared to wrestle but we will be live on guest commentary for all of your second round match ups. And as a special treat we have some observations about the tournament thus far.

Ax: Viper and Underdawg over AA & Beast. Did anybody really get surprised by this one?

CC: Gotta respect the OOWF Champion. He, like 3 Piece Set, knows the life of the champions. Look for this team to go real far. Of course another tough team is Harper Camby & Tommy O’Neil. They beat Endo & Morte and again I’m not surprised. Endo is a pasty little freak and Morte is couldn’t protect his last partner. Harper and Tommy are chiseled athletes.

Ax: Plus you have to respect guys who know how to drink it up a little bit like we do. OBJ & Gator defeated JA & LD Williams. Nice match but don’t expect too much from the Aussies.

CC: How many more times do we need to beat Outback and Gator before they realized they aren’t in our league? A very intriguing matchup is Moosehead & Concrete. They defeated Niles and Blade last week. While both men are tough SOBs they have no chemistry, as a team and this will end ugly.

Ax: Concrete, can you really trust MHJ when he says “Trust Me”? FF Capslock and Stank defeated Gimmickman and Vander. Don’t feel to special guys I can beat GM in my sleep and Vander is a just a wuss plain and simple.

CC: You two may be large but your no match for the athleticism of Ax & myself. We’d take both of you to school. Our good friends Hellion & Corax manage a victory over Thim Reynolds and Semaj B. Congrats you beat a massage therapist and his running buddy. You must be so proud.

Ax: We can role the video package again to see all the great moments we’ve had at Hellion & Corax’s expense. Need I remind you that we beat them to win these tag team titles? Speaking of former champs, The Dragons couldn’t even get out of the first round. What a joke!!

CC: Microplay is a tough SOB but he doesn’t seem like he’d get along with that hockey freak Westguard. On Micro’s talent alone they can win a few matches but without teamwork they aren’t a threat to us. The final first round match was Revolution XX defeating Smark & Smoley. Big win fellas. You really proved your worth.

Ax: We just got done waxing the floor with Smark & Smoley so that win doesn’t impress us. You two are flashy I’ll give you that much but Eric O Mac, try flying around on a broken leg.

CC: Carl Coolname, my name is Chris Cole, not that chump you left Chris Alt. I won’t take your crap and I’m not impressed with your new team.

Ax: Wasn’t impressed with his old team either.

CC: So remember next week at Mayhem 3 Piece Set will be live for more great guest commentary and in 3 weeks you can look for us beating the piss out of the tournament winners.

Rage hits again and 3 Piece Set drops their mics in the middle of the ring and manages to gingerly exit the ring and make their way back up the ramp. Stopping at the top of the ramp to hold the OOWF World Tag Team Title high in the air.

[mooseheadjack]

Jennifer Lyttle is standing backstage with BD.

JL: Earlier this evening, Canadian Dragon had this to say about your upcoming match.

:Originally posted by bigfatgoalie
*CD pauses and shakes his head*

CD: "Former World Champ...went through 3 stages of hell...survived Ultimate Hell against UnderDawg....having to face Blackdragon in a meaningless match..."

*CD drops the mic and walks away as SFJ#2 looks confused*

JL: Any comments?

Black Dragon shakes his head, takes a deep breath and begins speaking.

BD: I have all the respect in the world for CD. Hell, the two of us electrified the crowd every time we stepped into the ring to oppose one another. But it's been a while since we last went one-on-one. Since then, he's been World Champ, something everybody in the locker room hungers for. Whether for the pay check that comes with being the champ or the honor of being the top guy in our sport, everyone that ever laced up a pair of boots wants what CD once had.

Me, I took a different path. With my student and partner, I captured the World Tag Titles and held onto them for over two months, the longest in this fed's history thus far. I could have tried my hand at single's glory. Hell I could have been IC or World champ by now. But that remains to be seen. CD, you dismiss this match as meaningless, and hell you have the right to do just that. A former World champ vs. a tag team specialist. Smart money puts you going over. 9 times out of 10, the tag specialist goes down. But what if this is that rare tenth time? This match means a lot to me. It will prove whether or not I still have it in me to compete one-on-one with the elite of the OOWF. I won't make any guarantees about victory. This could go either way. The only certainty is that a Dragon will win this match. Whether it be the one from the Great White North, or the one from the Dirty South, is all up to me.

[mooseheadjack]

Underdawg is in the lockroom when Harper Camby burst in. Dawg quickly gets to his feet and stands nose to snout with the big man.

Harper: I had to see the Dead Mutt for myself.

UD: I'm here young pup, and you happen to be in my yard.

HC: Just wanted to let you know that your boy Donnie V. had a nice little chat with me and my partner. You better keep him on a short leash or there is going to be trouble. Pun intended.

UD: You think your funny Rook?

HC: Actually I do. But when the laughter stops Wednesday night there will be two hosses in that ring and I plan on making myself famous.

UD: Is that so?

HC: See you at Mayhem. (Harper backs towards the exit and then turns and starts to leave)

UD: Harper, (Harper turns around at the door) Rest in Grease. (Eyes roll back and tounge hangs out, Harper quickly leaves)

[mooseheadjack]

Chris Cole and Ax-Man are walking backstage after cutting their promo. They walk through the curtain and end up face to face with Stank and F.F. Capslock.

CC- Oh, sh*t! You guys aren't gonna...

-Ax-man leans in and whispers something to Cole

CC- Uh...what'cha gonna do, pussies! Go ahead, injure us, if you can!

Ax- Not that we're trying to stay injured! We're simply not afraid of you two. Being such huge pussies and all!

CC- I also had inappropriate relations with each of your mothers.

Ax- As did I. Plus we filmed it.

CC- And put it on the internet.

Ax- So...what are you two, big dumb assholes gonna do about it, huh?

S- Nothing.

FFC- We actually come baring gifts.

CC- Wait...what?

S- Yeah. Here's some Neosporin. It'll help those burns. And some liquid Nu-Skin. You guys'll be in ship shape in no time.

FFC- And we also got you guys some Ibuprofin. A lot of people make the mistake of taking asprin or Tylinol. But it can really play hell with the stomach. You need to make sure you don't get ulcers. They can be pretty nasty.

Ax- Um...thanks? I guess?

CC- But what about your mothers? And the stuff about you being huge pussies?

FFC- Not too worried about it.

S- Our mothers! Ha! You guys are so funny. Let us know if you have more helarious jokes! And just take all the time you need to heal up.

FFC- So we can take your titles from you when you're at 100%. That way, you can't bitch about it.

S- Okeydokey, eat sh*t and die you little asshats!

F.F. Capslock and Stank walk off and head to get a delicious Cold Cut Combo from Subway.

Subway- Eat Fresh!

[mooseheadjack]

*Sexy Female Journalist #5 and Chris Alt are in front of the Midweek Mayhem interview set*

SFJ5: I'm standing by with one of the top competitors here in the OOWF, "the High Priest of Prime Time", Chris Alt.

CA: Don't ever call me that again.

SJF5: Chris, this week you're going one on one with SoulDragon. Are you prepared?

CA: Yeah... Chris Alt stepping in the ring against SoulDragon, just the next stop on the "Donovan Viper continues to ignore and dodge the one guy who he KNOWS can take that title away from him on any given night tour 2005". Not to take anything away from SoulDragon- he's an amazing competitor, and I'd be making a tremendous mistake if I took him lightly. But I think everyone around here can read the writing on the walls, and the writing says quite plainly "the fans WANT to see Viper vs. Chris Alt at Blood on the Walls. No, the fans NEED to see Viper vs. Chris Alt at Blood on the Walls". Are you listening, the Rick? I'm the guy who consistently overcomes whatever it is that I have to face. I'm the only guy to ever hand Niles Anderson a clean loss in singles competition. I'm the guy that Moosehead Jack himself couldn't quite finish off. I'm the guy who's defeated the icon Hardbody Harris, clean. I'm the guy that's beat Canadian Dragon TWICE. And I seem to be the only guy on the roster that Donovan Viper is so scared of that he won't even acknowledge. Viper, you can keep running from me, but eventually, I'm going to catch up with you. You and me for the title, Viper... it's just a matter of time. And it's just as inevitable that on that fateful night when we clash, I will stand above your fallen form and hold the OOWF Championship belt high above my head.

SFJ5: What about Firechild calling you out?

CA *grins*: See Viper, there's a guy you could take a lesson in having a set of balls from. This kid comes in, he learns what prime time is all about, he picks himself up and asks for seconds. I like this guy. Firechild, if you want to go one-on-one, I'd be happy to oblige. You name the time and place, pal, and I'll welcome you to prime time with open arms.

*Alt storms off the set*

[mooseheadjack]

(Mark Vander comes back to his locker room and notices a note taped to his door)

WELCOME TO HELL

MHJ

[mooseheadjack]

Viper is in the Ministry locker room watching Chris Alt's promo on the monitor.

DV: Who the hell is this guy? I swear, they'll let anyone in this company.

*silence*

DV: What the hell? Isn't Dawg usually somewhere here to comment on my comments when I watch these promos? Oh, hey Corax.

C: Yo.

DV: What's up, man? You're awfully quiet.

C: Ain't got much to say.

DV: Hey, listen. I know we haven't hung out much in a while.

C: Whatever.

DV: Dude, I'm not trying to ignore you guys. All these bastards keep gunning at me and my title. It's rough, man.

C: Man, when's the last time we helped each other out in matches? You and Dawg always seem to be at odds right now. There's been no retaliation for the times when Capslock and Stank jumped us. What's up with that? I remember when we all wrecked the Beast for messing with Smoley. We haven't done anything as a unit in a long time. No beatdowns, no retaliations, no nothing. I think you talk to Mooshead Jack more then you do to us now.

DV: Oh come on, man. You know I don't like Jack. But it's good business to keep a repoire with him. You, Hel, Dawg, and I, we're all Ministry, ok? You've had my back since day one. Just because I don't run in on all of your matches doesn't mean I don't give a damn. We're not the nWo.

C: Who?

DV: I'm just saying. You and Hellion are the best tag team in this company. That's why I got together with you guys in the first place. You didn't need my help when you became tag team champs the first time, and you didn't need it the second time. It's not like I don't want to, but I've always had tons of confidence in your ability.

C: Huh. Well, you'd better have confidence in our ability, because in two weeks, we're probably gonna face each other. And I won't hold back just because we're friends.

DV: I don't expect you to. So aren't you guys facing FF Capslock and Smark next week? Want I soften them up for you guys?

C: Don't do us any favors, ok? Like you said. Hellion and I can take care of ourselves. We've got confidence in our abilities, too.

DV: All right. Fine. Can you answer me something though?

C: What?

DV: Who was that guy I was just watching the promo of on the monitor? Chris Alternator, or Chris Alterior Motives, or whatever.

C: He beat Niles Anderson in the ambulance match at the last PPV. He's really popular around here.

DV: Oh. That must've been when I was warming up for my match against Hardbody. You know how I get pre-match.

[mooseheadjack]

Backstage at the arena, Firechild is in the locker room, rooting about in his bag, an assortment of black tees, baggy jeans, belts etc. strewn around him. He pulls something out the bag and mutters....

FC: Found it! Damn, I need thi....

SFJ#5 who had earlier interviewed Chris Alt comes in, and Firechild takes a moment to admire her lovely form, before twitching like he remembered something and quickly stuffs the as-yet-unidentified item of clothing into his bag.

FC: Good evening sweetie, and what can I do for you?
<He asks, a wry smile on his face>

SFJ#5: Um...er...well....<gets a bit flustered>

Firechild takes pity, unarches his eyebrows, releases the poor girl from his leer, and gives her a let out.

FC: You wanted to ask me something? About the upcoming wrestling event, perhaps?

SFJ#5: <recovered> Yes, now earlier on, you called out Chris Alt to avenge your loss last week at Mayhem....

FC: I remember....I was there.

SFJ#5: Well. 'The High Priest...' <thinks, and restarts.> Chris Alt says that he likes you, and says he'll happily give you that rematch. What do you have to say about that?

FC: I'm good with that, but then, Alt never seemed to be the kinda guy to duck his challenges. I mean, before I came here, I'd seen his form, beating all-comers, winning ambulance matches and I have to say, I was impressed with him. Now, unlike no mark, joy-riding, smart mouthed pussies like the 3 Piece Set and Donovan Viper, Alt is willing to do what needs to be done, for real.

SFL#5: He did seem to be a bit....wound up when he accepted your challenge.

FC: Well, he's got a right, he's been ducked for a title shot, and he's probably still feeling the pain of going toe to toe with a psycho like dragon and a prodigy like me last week...

SFJ#5: Are you saying that Alt fears you?

<FC shakes head.>

FC: No, dear. I'll slow down, maybe use some smaller words. Alt has a lot on his mind, and our awesome match last week is probably not that high on the list. But hell, I'm impressed! The guy decides that unlike most of the roster in this place, he's gonna answer a challenge, and not even one he has to take, just because it's the right thing to do. Some folks round here should take notice....

SFJ#5: You mean the 3 Piece Set?

FC: If the cap fits, honey. But back to business.
Chris Alt, if you're up to tangle again, then lets do it. Now, I don't wanna piss off the GM by demanding we go this week, and hell, after the match we had with Dragon I bet the folks back home want some notice so they can clear their diaries. So Alt, you and me, one on one, in the ring, next week, Midweek Mayhem the 20th of April. It'll be an honour.

<Firechild gives a earnest stare to camera as the crowd cheers>

SFJ#5: Arn't you concerned about THIS week's match with LD Williams?

<Firechild strokes his chin, and thinks for a second.>

FC: Concerned? No...... I'm interested, I'm aware of it, but concerned. No.

SFJ#5: Thats a great deal of confidence for someone with two weeks experience and a 50% record.

FC: <Smirks> Do you want me to put you over my knee?

SFJ#5: What!? <Looks shocked, yet interested..>

FC: <laughs> No, I'm not concerned about someone who is happy to play second fiddle to a foppish twat like Johnny Adrenaline. Someone who is going to toe the party line after his tag partner threw their tag match, and shot at the tag titles for personal reasons. Someone who is going to forgive and forget a golf club to the head, because his mate, who is SO famous for his integrity says it was an accident.
Concerned? No. LD Williams, I'm here to make an impact, and I intend to make an impact on your damaged and sycophantic skull. You might sing the party tune, but you'll end up getting D-Tuned. And Chris Alt, once I'm done teaching LD what ambition looks like, then I'm coming for my win back. You'd better all be ready, because if you play with fire....you get burned......

<FC, empowered by the intensity of his words, has shocked the cameraman, into falling, and the last thing we see is SFJ#5's legs being swept up....>

[mooseheadjack]

*Scheme Gene is scurrying along to catch up with the departing GatorBait*

SG: Gator... do you have any thoughts on your competition next week? They're a coupla big guys around the locker room...

*GatorBait stops in his tracks... drops his bag... turns to Scheme Gene and grabs him by the throat... a visible urine puddle begins to form between Gene's legs as GatorBait hoists him up and Chomps him on the concrete floor...*

*Scheme Gene is dead*

[mooseheadjack]

Viper is in the Ministry locker room watching Firechild's promo on the monitor.

:Originally posted by sharpshooter
FC: I'm good with that, but then, Alt never seemed to be the kinda guy to duck his challenges. I mean, before I came here, I'd seen his form, beating all-comers, winning ambulance matches and I have to say, I was impressed with him. Now, unlike no mark, joy-riding, smart mouthed pussies like the 3 Piece Set and Donovan Viper, Alt is willing to do what needs to be done, for real.

DV: Did you just hear that, Corax? Did you hear what he just said?

C: He called you a pussy.

DV: This two bit bitch called me a pussy! Why I oughta... I'm gonna show this asshole a piece of my mind. Disrespecting the champ like that...

Viper walks through a door and slams it.

C (yells): Donnie, that's the bathroom door!

DV (yells): I know! I had to take a massive dump.

C (yells): Are you gonna go get Firechild?

DV (yells): Nah, this one's gonna take a while. Aw man, there's no toilet paper in here. Oh wait, nevermind, there's an issue of OOWF Magazine in here.

C (yells): All right. (not yelling) Hey, waitaminute, that's my magazine. That's the latest issue with the special Sexy Female Journalists In Paradise pictorial. (yells) Hey, Donnie, don't tear any of the

*ripppp*

C: Aw, crap! My Sexy Female Journalists pictorial!

[mooseheadjack]

L.D. Williams is standing with a Sexy Female Journalist:

SFJ: “L.D., the locker room is buzzing with rumors about you and Johnny Adrenaline.”

LD: “Strange, isn’t it? For all that everyone makes jokes about me and Johnny, and tries to write us off, there sure are a lot of people who want to talk about us.”

SFJ: “They say that you are furious about what happened in the tag team tournament, and that you may be looking to finally break free from Johnny’s shadow.”

LD: Shaking his head “Here we go again. Didn’t we just do this a couple months ago? It seems that every time I try to have a little fun and make some jokes in my promos, people start doubting my ability and my motivation. I’m not in Johnny’s or moose’s or anybody else’s shadow. I don’t play second fiddle, and I don’t toe any company line. I do what I want, for my own reasons..”

SFJ: “But you can’t be happy about how you lost.”

LD: “Well, getting my bell rung by a golf club wasn’t exactly high on my list of things to do. Johnny screwed up, plain and simple. It happens. Doesn’t really matter anyway. The tournament belongs to Revolution XX. That’s always been the plan.”

SFJ: “The Establishment plans to have Revolution XX win the tournament?”

LD: “Who said anything about the Establishment?”

SFJ: “Well, you’re an associate of the Establishment, so I naturally thought…”

LD: Don’t think. You’ll hurt yourself. I’m an associate of Moosehead Jack. Period. I don’t give a rat’s rear-end about Morte, Endo, or Niles. Nor do I care about the Establishment's plans. The only plans I care about are my own.”

SFJ: “Since you mentioned Revolution XX, they have become increasingly violent lately.”

LD: “Yes they have.”

SFJ: “Do you have any comment?”

LD: “The boys learn fast. At the risk of sounding mushy, I feel kind of like a proud father. It’s great helping them come into their own.”

SFJ: “Is your involvement with Revolution XX the result of problems between you and Johnny?”

LD: “Back to that are we?”

SFJ: “Well, a lot of people believe that Johnny is focusing on the intercontinental title more than your partnership.”

LD: “If you knew what I went through, what I’m still going through, to get Johnny that belt…He better be focusing on the title to the exclusion of everything else, including his damn golf game. Johnny better protect that title with his life. If he loses it, especially to someone like ‘Mr. threatening phone message’ Alan Capps…The golf course won’t be the only handicap he has to worry about.”

SFJ: “Is that a threat?”

LD: glares “Yes. Move on.”

SFJ: “Right. Next week at Midweek Mayhem, you are scheduled to face Firechild. He’s had some things to say about you.”

LD: “I heard. Firechild, there are three things you need to know: One: A person with two matches under their belt is in no position to make promises, and especially not threats. Two: I’m not a good person to annoy. And three: If you haven’t already figured it out, you’re not the only one around here who isn’t very happy. The difference between us is that you like to talk about what you’re gonna do. Me, I don’t have to tell you anything. You’ll be able to piece it together from the hospital bills after you regain consciousness.”

SFJ: “Any closing comments?”

LD: “A lot of people like to run their mouths in the OOWF about how they’re unbeatable. I’m not. I have my share of losses, and I’m not afraid to admit it. People can insult me, make fun of me, whatever. But any man who gets into that ring with me will respect me…or die learning to….



...Fear me.”

[mooseheadjack]

(Camera follows MHJ through one of the many OOWF hallways, Moose goes right to the AYUFF locker room door and shoves it open, inside Concrete and the rest of the Establishment jump to their feet in surprise as MHJ walk in)

AA: Damn, you have a lot of nerve Jack, just barging in like that.
Beast: You got no back up either, be a real shame if something happened to you.
MHJ: Go ahead. You all feel like jumping me, go right ahead, right Concrete?
CTG: Guys, back off, remember the agreement. What do you want Moose?
MHJ: We should talk.
CTG: So talk.
MHJ: Not here in front of...them <Jack shoots an angry glare at Semaj B.>
CTG: Fine, let's go <The rest of the AYUFF look at Concrete and start to get up to go along with him> Guys, I got this, I'll be fine, trust me. <Jack grins>
*******************
<the camera picks up on Concrete and Jack a few minutes later>

CTG: Ok what do you want?
MHJ: You know what I want. I want you to admit that I am right.
CTG: Never gonna happen. Cause you are wrong, there is a right way to do things, and then the way YOU do things.
MHJ: That may be so, but can you deny that you enjoyed slamming that bat into Blade's gut?
CTG: It meant nothing, it was a dumb thing to do, it could have cost us the match.
MHJ: No it wouldn't have. You wouldn't have gotten caught. See Concrete, this is one reason why you couldn't beat me - until you thought like me - I knew you were going to use the bat, I made sure the ref was distracted while you did the dirty work. You see the potential here?
CTG: What are you talking about? It was a cheap way to get a win, I should tell The Rick what happened and withdraw from the tournament
MHJ: but you won't do that. You know why? Because honor may mean one thing to you, but winning is a whole 'nother thing isn't it? Whether we like each other or not is irrelevent, we work well as a team, well enough to take the tag titles.
CTG: What makes you think I would want to keep tagging with you? I could just walk away after this is over, I am not bound to you in any way.
MHJ: No, no you're not, and you could just walk away, but you would be making a huge mistake. Concrete, think about that bat, think about how easy it was to get away with, think about the feeling you had when steel met flesh, now think about being able to do that any...time...you...want. You think about that Concrete, think about what things would be like if you just let go, we would be feared, we would be dominant, we would be....champions.

Trust me

<Jack walks away and leaves CTG standing>

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ69: Outback Jack, your partner GatorBait put Scheme Gene into intensive care...
OBJ: Lucky bastard. I'd have crippled him for life.
SFJ69: Your fans are't used to hearing that kind of language!
OBJ: We have been pushed beyond the edge by cheating and backstabbing. Scheme Gene put his nose in where it didn't belong and he's paying the price. I respect CTG, and MHJ for that matter, but it's their bad luck to run up against us when we are ready to kick ass and take names. Gator has been holding back a little with the Chomps, but I can't persuade him to stop hitting it a 3rd time the next time an opponent pisses him off.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG walks back into the AYUFF locker room)

Beast: So what did that as<bleep>le want?

CTG: He wanted to know how I liked joining the Dark Side.

AA: you won the match, what makes him think you're evil?

SD: something about a baseball bat.....

CTG: You guys know that I don't need a weapon against my opponents.

BD: so what made you swing?

CTG: I got nothing against Blade. I notice I didn't have Niles in front of me; for Moose that would have been a conflict of interest. Instead, a neutral party was in front of me, and I had a bat in my hand. Blade, when HE was holding the bat, was about to do the same thing. I decided to let him see how it felt.

AA: that doesn't make it right

CTG: No, it doesn't. But it is kind of ironic that they lost to their own cheat.

Beast: (grumblegrowldoesn'tlikeit)

CTG: we're not going to need weapons against Outback and Gator. Moose wants to use a weapon, that's fine. I'll leave him a pencil sharpener for his horns.

(there's a pause, then the locker room breaks out in laughter)

[mooseheadjack]

*Chris Alt approaches his change room when he notices a note on his door. The note reads:

Don't think we're even close to being finished.

Alt takes the note of the door, crumples it up and chucks it in the nearest garbage and the proceeds to his change room.*

[mooseheadjack]

... meanwhile in a dark corner backstage two figures are obscured by shadows...

Random jobber 43: W-what do you want from me [fear in the voice]

Mysterious Figure: Nothing. There is absolutely nothing you can offer me. [spoken with erie calmness, and almost a strange type of affection]

RJ43: then, what - what are you going to do to me.

[silence]

RJ43: s-say something - you're freaking me out.

MF: You can offer me nothing. But I can offer you much - a first glimpse - a foretaste of what is to come...

... Peace be with you.

[Crack! the sound of an arm breaking and a jobber whaling]

[end scene]

[mooseheadjack]

(Moosehead Jack is watching Seraph's promo in the back)

Hmm, interesting, that one might just be worth keeping an eye on.

However, there are more pressing issues at hand now aren't there? Outback Jack and GatorBait. Two men that I never thought I could ever have the slightest bit of respect for. Two men who, until recently, hadn't showed me any kind of spine since they got here in the OOWF. But, that has all changed now hasn't it. Some would say we are seeing the new and improved Outback Jack and GatorBait, some would say that this hostility is a surprise, that they were never like this. That, my friends is a lie.

For those of you that do not know, let me take you back in time, before the OOWF, there were another pair of wrestlers, feared throughout wrestling for their bloodthirstines, their violence, their brutality. No one wanted to face them, they left a trail of broken, bloody wrestlers in their wake. Then one day that all changed, they sold their souls to corporate wrestling, and it all changed, almost overnight. They became pathetic characters, clowns trotted out for the idiot fans amusement. They lost, loss piled on top of loss, the killer instinct was drained away from them, they becam shells of their former selves. No one took them seriously, and when the corporate fed was done with them, they were cast aside to the trash heap of wrestlers who were consumed by their gimmick.

Outback Jack and GatorBait, you know damn well who I am talking about, you know all too well, because until a few weeks ago, you were mirroring their career. Jack, Gator, a lot of people don't remember your days in Japan, but I do, remember? I was there as well, our paths never crossed, hell we weren't even in the same promotion, but I was there, and I saw you two carve up opponant after opponant. You left the ring filled with broken bodies and blood, you two were THE most feared team in Japan, no one wanted to risk their career against you two. Gator, how many men's necks did you snap with the Chomp? Jack, how many men did you leave twisted and mangled with the crossface/STF? But then it all changed.

In September the OOWF opened it's doors. Ther eis no question they drew heaviily from Japan, hell most of the boys in the back worked the Japan circuit at one point. We came in and it was business as usual, but with you two, something changed. You left your souls in Japan and came here for the money. You two became a parody of yourselves, a joke, you two became a living, breathing gimmick. Luckily for you, you caught it before it was too late. Slowly, you are bringing back the Outback Jack and GatorBait I know, the ones who cast fear with the gaze of their eyes across all of Japan.

I'm sure you are wondering why I bring this up. Allow me to explain. I want you two to know that I know all about you two. I watched your work in Japan. I have followed you two from a distance, see as you well know, I respect carnage and chaos. I live for fear and bloodshed. But what else do you know about me? And more importantly, what do you know about Concrete? There was a reason that Morte and LI, and later Morte and Endo fought you two so hard, tooth and nail, for all those months. I knew that at some point this day would come. I didn't know it would be with Concrete, hell I never imagined that, but I knew it would come, and as always, I am ready. Morte, LI and Endo have given me enough on you to that I certainly know what to expect.

So, I hope you two take me and Concrete lightly, I hope you think we are just another makeshift tag team, I hope you are looking ahead to getting a shot at the gold because if you do, we will leave you bloody and broken, and lying in the ring wondering what the hell just happened. Jack, Gator, be ready for hell, because at Midweek Mayhem, it's coming.

Trust me

<fade to black>

[mooseheadjack]

So, Johnny, you think you’re so cool with your Mr. Perfect golf course routine there, huh? Well, check this out. I’m here on the island of Kauai…that’s Hawaii, Johnny, in case you couldn’t figure it out…at the Prince Course in Princeville, a course named the best in Hawaii by Golf Digest. Why did I fly all the way here, Johnny? What better location than this to refine my skills for our Country Club Death Match than the beautiful island of Hawaii. Ahh, Johnny, but I did not come alone. No, no, no. I spared no expense to bring in the best man I could think of to teach me the violent nature of golf. May I present to you, my best friend in the entire golf world, John Daly.

(The camera pans over to big John Daly, who’s sucking down a bottle of Hoppy’s Red Amber Ale—from Sacramento, CA’s best microbrewery, Hoppy’s Brew Pub—and tossing back handfuls of M&Ms.)

AA: We’re on the 12th hole of this fine golf course, and Big John here has taught me a number of fine pointers. For instance, John, I really liked how you wrapped your putter around that tree when you five-putted the seventh hole back there. Johnny, that putter is wedged a good four inches into the trunk of that tree. And I’m a quick learner.

JD: Hey, dude, we need some more beer. And when do I get my $500?

AA: Yeah, umm, the beer’s in the gold cart, John. But slow down. You know the contract we signed was only for a case of beer. You had three at three airport, five on the plane over here, three more at the hotel last night and you’ve consumed six more this morning on the course.

JD: Then how ‘bout some more M&Ms?

AA: Man, you already went through that 10-pound bag from CostCo. What more do you want?

JD: I want to renegotiate my contract. This sucks!

AA: Renegotiate? What would you be doing right now if I didn’t fly you here? What, you think they’d let you play at The Masters?

JD: Look, while you’re shooting this promo thing, I’m just sitting here, just wasting time. Drinking, smoking, thinking, trying to free my mind.

AA: You’re doing what? Are you quoting obscure Kid Rock lyrics? What the hell? Well, at least you have better taste than Adrenaline and the sappy 80s pop stuff he’s constantly singing. Now come on, show me how to smack the hell out of things with golf clubs before you get completely Sideways on me.

(AA settle down over his fairway shot.)

AA: Johnny, this is going to be your head at Midweek Mayhem! (AA prepares to swing.)

JD: Don’t come over the top. Stay still.

AA: Shut up.

JD: It’s all about stillness. Inner quiet.

AA: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! What is wrong with you? Just shut up!

JD: What’s with all the hostility? I know you’re a little frustrated. I know you’re frustrated with life right now that you don’t have the Intercontinental title. But you can choose to be less hostile.

(Suddenly a ball from the group behind bounces down the fairway next to AA and Daly.)

AA: Dude, they just hit into us.

Group: Hurry it up!

AA: Oh boy. Oh boy.

JD: Hey, that’s not cool, a**hole!

(AA grabs a ball and hammers it back at the group, nailing one squarely upside the head.)

AA: Look at that. Johnny, that’s you at Midweek Mayhem.

JD: Nice shot.

Group: What the hell are you doing? (Two of the group get in their golf cart and start toward AA and JD.)

AA (smiling): Oops, look out.

JD: You want to see how to abuse golf equipment? Watch this.

Daly grabs his driver and runs wildly at the approaching golf cart. The golf cart turns to drive away, but Daly catches the cart and wraps his head around the head of the guy in the passenger seat. The driver of the cart freaks out and drives the cart directly into a tree. The cart explodes in a Hollywood-style car wreck fireball. AA turns toward the cameraman.

AA: Did you see that Johnny? This is what I’m learning. So come Midweek Mayhem, you think you can beat me? Ha, you’ve never beaten me before, and you won’t beat me this time. Country Club Death Match? I got your Country Club Death Match right here. Hey John, nice job. Have another beer. This one’s on me.