OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Selkirk, Manitoba Canada
VALOR vs. DEVILSValor is announced first and Tytan and Damon Wrath make their way to the ring to the cheers of the fans. Tytan has a different look about him tonight, hard to say what it is though. They get to the ring and step between the ropes and head to the corner for some last minute discussion. Their opponents, DEVILS, are announced and Ecosystem and Tyler Vangarde come to the ring to the boos of the crowd. Eco has a peaceful look on his face, while Tyler threatens everyone around him. They make their way to the ring and Tytan makes it clear that he wants to start the match. Wrath leaves the ring and waits on the outside. Tyler lunges at Tytan, but Eco holds up one hand and he stops. Tyler shakes his head and heads to the corner. Eco walks closer to Tytan, never looking away from him. He drops to his knees and holds out his hands in a Christ pose. Tytan looks down at him and slowly shakes his head, then rears back and kicks Eco in the head sending him across the ring.
Eco gets to his feet, wipes a little bit of blood from his lip and walks right back over to Tytan and drops to his knees again, arms out. Tytan snarls and turns and tags in Wrath. Damon comes in and tackles Eco to the mat, grabs a side head lock and hammers him with punches to the face. Eco works to get to his feet and sends Wrath to the ropes, Tyler tries a kick to the back of Wrath’s head, Wrath turns and grabs at Tyler, which allows Eco to come up behind Wrath and roll him up for a two count. Wrath spins to his feet and Eco charges in and Wrath catches him with a European uppercut that sends him right back to the mat. Wrath grabs Eco’s leg and twists it, then drops several knees onto Eco’s knee. Eco yells in pain, and Tyler comes in and NAILS Wrath from behind with a forearm to the back of the head. Wrath stumbles forward, and Eco catches him in a small package, but the referee is busy escorting Tyler out of the ring and does not see the pin. Wrath escapes, and tries to make the tag to Tytan, but Eco grabs his ankle and pulls him to the mat.
Eco gets to his feet and drags Wrath to the DEVILS corner and tags in Tyler, Tyler comes in and grabs Wrath’s other leg and they make a wish, stretching Wrath’s hamstrings out. Tyler kicks Wrath in the mouth, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the corner and charges in and catches him with a back elbow to the jaw. Tyler keeps him pinned there for a moment, gloating about what he had done. He grabs Wrath in a side head lock and points to the mat and tries a bulldog, but Wrath slips out of his grip about half way there and grabs him around the waist and hits a bridging German suplex, releases it at two, then flips Tyler over and traps him in the LeBell Lock! Tyler screams in pain, but manages to make it to the ropes and force the break. Wrath releases the hold and Tyler slips out of the ring to the floor. Wrath looks at him and grins, and reminds Tyler that, just like that, it could all be over.
Vangarde slides into the ring and Wrath moves to lock up but Tyler catches him with a thumb to the eye. Tytan comes in and grabs Tyler from behind, which brings in Eco! All four men brawl inside the ring, for a moment, Tyler and Wrath spill outside the ring and Eco and Tytan trade punches. Then Eco, once again, drops to his knees and strikes a pose, yelling at Tytan “WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME! DO IT! DO IT!” Eco begs Tytan to hit him, but before he can, Tyler slides into the ring with a chair and SLAMS it on the back of Tytan’s head! The referee sees it and immediately calls for the bell
WINNERS in 11:00 – by disqualification – Valor
Tyler keeps attacking Tytan, but Eco pulls him off and says enough. Wrath gets into the ring and threatens them with a chair, but they calmly walk out of the ring and head to the back.
LD WILLIAMS vs. BRYCE LARSONBryce Larson comes out alone and walks to the ring with a look of intense concentration on his face. He ignores the mixed reaction he receives from the crowd and climbs into the ring to warm up. The lights dim and a scarlet V paints across the canvas as L.D. Williams steps onto the stage. Williams’ right arm is heavily wrapped, with a target pattern airbrushed on the bandage - cute. He walks down the aisle and rolls under the ropes to stand toe-to-toe with Larson as referee Junior Hale gives them their instructions and calls for the bell.
They lock up. Larson winds Williams’ bad arm and snaps him to the mat. He stomps the arm, and then drags Williams to his feet and over to the ropes. Larson wraps the arm around the top rope and tries to pull it off. Junior counts four and steps in to pull him off. Larson moves back in, and Williams drops to the mat, pulling down the top rope and sending Larson out to the floor. Williams rolls out after him, kicks Larson in the stomach, and slams his head into the apron. Larson stumbles away, and Williams kicks him in the back of the knee, causing it to buckle, and drives Larson’s face into the ringside mats. Williams slides into the ring to break the count, and back out to the floor. He approaches Larson, who drives an elbow into his stomach, followed by a forearm to the face. He runs Williams shoulder-first into the ring post and shoves him into the ring, leaving his arm draped over the apron. Larson hops onto the apron and stomps on the arm a few times, and then leaps off, bringing all of his weight down in a leg drop across the arm. Williams screams and rolls across the mat, clutching his arm. Junior checks on him, and Williams says he can continue.
Larson pounces as soon as Junior moves out of the way, kneeling on Williams’ shoulder and pounding on his arm. He drags Williams to his feet and winds the arm, and then rides him to the mat with an arm bar. Williams struggles, and manages to get to his knees. Larson drags him up and sends him into the corner. He follows him in, but Williams moves out of the way. Larson bounces off the turnbuckles and Williams drives an elbow into his kidneys. He shoves Larson back into the corner and slams his face repeatedly into the top turnbuckle. Larson elbows his way free. He kicks Williams in the stomach and tries for a suplex, but Williams blocks. Williams reverses, but howls in pain at the impact on his injured arm. Larson is up first and grabs the injured arm, but Williams blasts him in the face with the other forearm. Williams winds Larson’s arm one-handed Jake Roberts style, but instead of a clothesline sends him to the ropes and hits a backdrop. Williams goes to the ropes and drives a knee into Larson’s head. He covers, but only gets one.
Williams rolls to his feet and rushes Larson as he gets up. He backs him against the ropes and sends him across the ring. Larson ducks a clothesline and slams on the brakes. Williams turns around and Larson throws a super kick, but Williams catches it and sweeps the other leg. He rolls Larson over into a single-leg Boston crab, and somewhere Davin Moreland is cursing. Larson struggles and starts pulling himself towards the ropes. Williams traps the leg with his own and transitions into the STF, but can’t apply much pressure with the injured arm. Larson pries off the face lock, and manages to roll free. Williams is up and lunges, but Larson stops him short with a punch to the injured arm. He plants a few more in the same spot, and then sends Williams to the ropes and hits a standing dropkick to the arm. Williams drops like he’s been shot, but rolls almost immediately to his knees - just in time for Larson to nail him with a shining wizard. Larson covers, and Junior counts One…Two…Williams kicks out.
Larson drags Williams to his feet and slings him into the corner. He wraps Williams’ arm around the top rope and pins it behind him. He gets in a few chops before Junior steps in and backs him off. Larson moves the ref out of the way, gets a running start, and slams into Williams with a dropkick. Williams pales and sags, and then screams as his weight puts pressure on the injured arm. Junior checks again, but Williams still refuses to submit. Larson moves back in and scales the ropes to stand on Williams’ shoulder. Junior counts, and Larson steps off at four. He frees Williams’ arm and drives him, shoulder-first, into the mat. He rolls Williams over and covers for One…Two…Thr-Williams rolls a shoulder just in time.
Larson rolls Williams face-down and twists his arm into a chicken wing. He puts all his weight behind it, and pain is etched on Williams’ face, but he refuses to give up. Larson releases the hold, rolls him over, and tries to apply a cross arm breaker. Williams locks his hands to block it, but Larson starts kicking him in the head and finally manages to apply the hold. Williams tries to fight it, and makes a couple of feeble attempts to roll Larson up, but his struggles get fainter and fainter. Finally, he stops struggling. Junior checks - Williams has passed out! Junior calls for the bell.
WINNER, by knockout, in 15:26. Bryce Larson.
After the match: Larson releases the hold and sits on the mat, staring at his opponent in shock. He sees Firewoman, Moose, and Stank storming down to the ring and quickly slides out and backs up the aisle as the Five members check on their fallen partner
MOOSEHEAD JACK & STANK vs. DRINK & DESTROY – Guaranteed Title Shot on the LineGM the Rick never got around to giving this match stipulations, so evidently it is just going to be a normal run of the mill match. I would expect moves, countermoves, chain wrestling and……yeah ok. Expect a war from four guys who just plain don’t like one another. As if on cue “Scarecrow” plays and Moosehead Jack and Stank come to the ring, and the crowd showers them with deafening boos. They ignore them and wait for Drink and Destroy. The D&D music plays and they come out through the crowd, and Moose and Stank hop the guard rail and charge INTO the fans and meet them. Somewhere GM the Rick just had a stroke.
Women and children run for their lives as Moose and Taylor meet on one side of the crowd and Stank and Jack meet on the other. The four men begin throwing haymakers at one another with no regard for their lives. Moose rakes Taylor’s eyes, then grabs a chair and SLAMS it down on his head. Taylor falls to the floor, but takes Moose down as well by grabbing his leg and pulling it from beneath him. Across the arena, Stank and Jack hammer at one another, you have to wonder how much these two have left after the recent attacks. They trade punches and neither man will take a step back. A woman screams at the violence and Jack is momentarily distracted and Stank charges and spears him into a row of chairs. The back of Jack’s head slams onto a chair, but Stank gets it too, his face slams into a chair as well. Both men are down on the floor, but they are still throwing punches.
Stank gets to one knee and grabs Jack’s head and SLAMS it against the floor until Jack stops moving. Stank slowly gets to his feet and pulls Jack to his feet, Jack is nothing but dead weight at this point. Stank lifts Jack onto his shoulders and DRIVES him to the floor with a STANK U! Stank is not done though, he snarls at the people, waving them out of his way. He pulls Jack through the audience, banging his head off of chairs as he drags him back and heads to the stage.
Back to Moose and Taylor, Taylor has Moose on the floor, but he seems to be struggling a bit to do anything. Taylor’s eyes are a little glassy after taking a shot from DethBat earlier this week, then a chair today. That gives Moose a chance to get to his feet first, and he rummages around in his pocket for something. Taylor gets to his feet and goes after Moose and Moose THROWS A FIREBALL AT TAYLOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD! Oh shit. The fans scream and run for their lives, Taylor falls to the floor in a heap grabbing his face. Officials race to his aid, but Moose grabs a chair and chases them away. Moose grabs Taylor’s head and pulls it back, and we can see red spots where the flesh has been burned. Moose pulls a chain out of his pocket, evidently he is a walking arsenal today, and wraps it around his fist and hammers at Taylor’s face, opening gashes in the burns. You can see Taylor go white with pain, but he does not scream. DVD can’t watch anymore and he hops the railing and grabs Moose from behind and pulls him off of Taylor by the hair. Moose turns around and looks at DVD with a look of pure, insane rage in his eyes, then BLASTS him on the jaw with his chain wrapped fist. DVD falls to the floor and Moose pulls him up and makes his way toward the ring and throws DVD over the guard rail.
Stank pulls Jack up onto the stage and lifts him for another STANK-U but Jack slips off his shoulders and lands behind him. When Stank spins around, Jack kicks him low, then DRIVES him to the stage with a DDT! Jack gets to his feet and staggers backstage, then comes right back with a BARBED WIRE WRAPPED BOOMERANG! He grabs Stank’s head and repeatedly rakes it across his face, drawing copious amounts of blood. Stank howls in pain, but shoves Jack off of him to the stage. Stank gets to one knee, Jack tries to charge in with a knee to the side of the head, but Stank leans back and sweeps Jack’s leg sending him crashing to the floor, slamming the back of his head against the steel. Stank grabs the boomerang and tears the barbed wire off of it, then wraps it around Jack’s throat. Stank has the same sort of demented, crazy look in his eyes that Moose has. The barbed wire digs into Jack’s neck, and Stank shoves him OFF THE STAGE! Jack falls, then jerks to a stop, the barbed wire tearing into his neck, blood pouring from gouges in his neck. Holy fuck had one of those barbs hit the jugular……Jack claws at his throat trying to free himself. Stank tries to hold him up, but the barbed wire is tearing into his hands, and after just a few seconds – but let’s be honest, a few seconds of being hung by the throat by barbed wire is probably a few seconds too long – Stank lets go and Jack falls to the floor gasping for breath and pulling the barbs from his neck.
Meanwhile, back at ringside, Moose has DVD by the throat and has him pinned against the ring post. DVD begs for his life, but that probably isn’t going to get you too far with Moose. Moose NAILS him with a vicious right that sends him to the floor. Moose grabs him and tears his shirt off, kicking him in the ribs for good measure. Moose rummages around under the ring and tosses a logging chain to the floor, then pulls out some barbed wire. This may not end well for DVD. Moose picks up the chain and waits for DVD to get up, then BLASTS him in the face with it. DVD falls to the floor, and we see blood pooling from beneath his head. Moose grabs some of the barbed wire and WHIPS DVD across the back! Each lash leaves disturbing bloody gashes. Moose grabs the logging chain and wraps it around DVD’ neck and pulls him up to his feet. Moose wraps the chain around the ring post, trapping DVD. Moose grabs a chair and lines up a shot, oh god no! This is how they took out Zane! Moose swings the chair back, but Taylor has made his way through the crowd, and grabs the chair out of Moose’s hands, Moose spins around and Taylor catches him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Taylor tries to get DVD free from the ring post, but he see’s Moose getting back to his feet, so DVD is going to have to hang there bleeding for a little longer.
At the top of the ramp, Stank stands over Jack and glares down at him. He pulls him to his feet by the throat, but Jack spits a mouth full of blood in Stank’s face. Stank drops him with a straight right to the face, then pulls him back up to the top of the ramp. Stank sets Jack up for a POWERBOMB but sees Taylor battering Moose at ringside. He shoves Jack to the stage and heads down the ramp. As he gets about halfway, Jack gets to his knees and grabs his boomerang, takes aim, and throws it at Stank, catching him RIGHT ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Stank staggers forward about two steps, then falls to the steel face first. Jack struggles to his feet and heads down the ramp. Meanwhile Taylor has rolled Moose into the ring and shoves him into the corner, the referee calls for the bell, and the match is finally official. Taylor comes at Moose, blood pouring off his face, but Moose catches him with a low blow that drops Taylor to the mat. The referee, clearly deciding that a low blow is the least of his worries in this match, lets it go. The referee looks and sees Jack grab Stank and pull him to his feet and rock him with a European uppercut that sends the big man staggering to ringside, falling at the feet of the still hanging DVD.
DVD’s blood drips onto Stank’s head, but he doesn’t notice it. Meanwhile in the ring, Moose reaches into his boot and pulls something out, but we can’t see what it is at first. One of the Invisible Ninja Cameramen catches a close up shot of Moose…..HE HAS THE SCALPEL! He grabs Taylor in the Ji-Endo, carefully positioning the blade against Taylor’s throat, but hidden from the referee. As Moose squeezes the hold, a fresh trickle of blood flows down Taylor’s neck. Taylor’s eyes grow wide as he realizes what Moose is doing, he struggles to free himself, but the more he struggles the deeper the blade digs into his neck. Moose is screaming for him to keep fighting, keep struggling…..it will be easier for you, much easier. You'll see. It will be over quickly. Taylor must feel the blade dig deeper because he decides that tapping out is better than dying.
WINNERS in 4:12 – Moosehead Jack & Stank
Moose keeps the hold on Taylor, Jack rolls into the ring and kicks Moose in the face, sending him backward, and leaving a long cut on Taylor’s neck. Taylor grabs his neck and rolls to the outside. Jack is in a frenzy as well now. Moose drops the scalpel after Jack kicks him, Jack picks it up and looks at Moose, then over to Taylor and DVD who are bloody messes. HE looks back at Moose and charges in and slashes at Moose, catching him across the forehead. Moose staggers away, into the corner, where he looks at Jack, blood flowing down his face……grinning. Moose dares Jack to come after him, but before he can, the locker room empties and separates the two men. Medical officials come to the ring, but all four men are on their feet trying to get at one another, so they check on DVD, freeing him from the ring post. They get him on a stretcher and head to the back, Jack and Taylor follow him, reluctantly leaving the fight.
ALEXANDER DARLING vs. ERIC O’MAC – 15 Minutes of Fame Match“Burn it to the Ground” comes over the sound system, and, even in Canada, this generates immediate boos. They only get louder as Eric comes down the ramp in his mirrored shades and, of course, on his cell phone. He climbs into the ring and Fall River's Own Angelo Barros tells him to get off the phone, and Eric ignores him. Alexander Darling comes down the ramp to huge applause as he makes a beeline for Eric. He says something, which Eric ignores. He smacks Eric upside the head, which causes the glasses to fall off. It also causes Barros to call for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
This is a 15 Minutes of Fame Match. Alexander can only win via pin fall or submission before the 15 minute clock runs out. Eric can win via pin fall, submission or reaching the time limit.
Darling is on it early as he's blasting away at Eric. He forces Eric into the corner and kicks him in the face, body and legs a few times before Eric bails out to the floor. Darling's not going to allow this to happen, and he kills Eric with a Slingshot Plancha, but Darling ends up head-first into the barrier. Barros is counting, and Eric manages to roll in at 5. Darling is up and wobbly, and Eric tries a baseball slide, but Darling ducks him and dives onto the ring at 9. Darling's about to start the punching again, but Eric blocks it and returns a couple of shots of his own, staggering Darling back to the ropes. Eric clotheslines him over the ropes and poses for the stationary camera as he apparently thinks we're going to break.
But THIS is the OOWF!
Barros tries to tell Eric there's no commercial, but Eric seems to be telling him to stay out of the camera frame. Darling enters the camera frame with a sick Springboard Warrior's Way to the back of Eric's head! Darling covers....1....2...Eric grabs the bottom rope! Darling can't believe it, and Eric takes this opportunity to point to his head and tell us he's smart. Not smart enough, as Darling looks to level Eric with a Clothesline, but Eric somehow manages to duck it, and hit a ROCK BOTTOM! Dear God, that might be it! Eric points to the top turnbuckle and then to the sky as he heads to the top! He gets there and takes off...for an E-MAC ATTACK...which draws a lot of canvas.
Barros starts a double count as we cross the 10:00 mark of the match. There's a 5 minute countdown now starting on the Jumbotron. Darling shakes out the cobwebs and covers...1....2...NO! Eric kicks out, but Darling locks on a DARLING MONEY CLIP! Eric is in excruciating pain and is screaming out to the crowd...or anyone...to help him. No one's coming. Eric looks like he's about to tap; and this may have forced Darling to instinctively back off a bit, because Eric rolls through hard and gets to the ropes, breaking the hold.
Barros makes Darling wait for Eric to get to his feet. He does, and Darling charges at him, intending to take his head off. Darling swings for another big clothesline, but Eric jumps on his back with a MAIN EVENT SLEEPER! Eric's yelling like this should hurt or something, but Darling's not doing the fake pass out thing. He grabs Eric by the neck with both hands, and flips him off. Running Snap Mare by Darling who covers. That gets 2. We've reached the 2 minute mark. Darling pulls Eric up. He grabs Eric by the hand and puts his hand on his own throat! It's the Darling Driver! But no! Eric elbows his way out of it! Darling is disoriented, and Eric locks on a MAIN EVENT CHINLOCK! He screams “THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT!” but the crowd responds with apathy. We're under a minute, and that's announced over the PA. Darling gets to his feet, and runs, with Eric attached, to the ropes for a Springboard Inverted DDT! Time's short, and Darling pulls Eric up for one last ride. Hand around the throat, he gets him up...DARLING DRIVER! Darling beats the clock with 13 seconds to spare!
WINNER in 14:47 by PINFALL...Alexander Darling!
CHAD MADISON vs. STAN FULTON – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchStan Fulton is announced and comes to the ring first with his trusty axe handle on his shoulder. The crowd boos him, but not quite as much since he left Eco’s side. He puts his axe handle down on the table and climbs into the ring and waits in the corner, completely stoic. God Blessed Texas plays and the OOWF Onslaught Champion Chad Madison comes to the ring to a rousing ovation from the fans. He slaps hands, kisses babies and hugs the ladies, and quite possibly slips a few of them his phone number. Madison makes his way around the ring, keeping an eye on Fulton, but Fulton does not move an inch. Madison finally climbs into the ring and moves to the center of the ring and hands the referee his title. Fulton finally comes out of the corner and meets Madison in the middle. Madison extends his hand, and Fulton shakes it, the referee holds the title high in the air, which pops the crowd, then calls for the bell and we are underway!
The two slowly circle and lock up, Fulton backs Chad into the corner, the referee calls for a clean break and he gets it as Fulton slowly backs away back to the middle of the ring. Chad moves out of the corner and they lock up again, this time, Chad grabs a side head lock. Fulton shoves him to the ropes and sends Chad to the mat with a shoulder block on the rebound. Fulton pulls Madison to his feet and scoops him up and plants him on the mat with a slam. Madison kips up back to his feet and motions for Fulton to come at him. Fulton charges and tries a clothesline, but Madison ducks and Fulton hits the ropes. Madison catches him with a drop kick to the jaw on the rebound, but the big man does not go down. Fulton comes at Madison again this time Chad catches him with a drop kick to the knee that sends the big man to the mat. Fulton gets on his hands and knees, and Chad bounds off the ropes and catches him with a spinning front kick to the face that sends him to the mat grabbing his face in pain. Madison covers, but Fulton kicks out at one.
Chad waits for Fulton to get to his feet, then heads to the corner, quickly climbs the ropes and leaps and catches him with a missile drop kick to the jaw. Fulton hits the mat and rolls out of the ring to the floor. Chad charges to that side of the ring and looks like he is going to dive between the ropes, but Fulton hits the floor. Chad swings back into the ring, then waits for Fulton to stand back up and springs over the top rope and takes the big man to the floor. Madison rolls back into the ring and lets the referee count, but Fulton gets to his feet and climbs back into the ring before the twenty count.
Once in the ring, they lock up again and Chad grabs an arm wringer and catches Fulton with a savate kick that sends him back into the corner. Chad goes to the opposite corner and tries a Stinger splash, but Fulton catches him and swats him to the mat Samoa Joe style! The back of Madison’s head SLAMS off the mat and he is knocked loopy. Fulton waits for him to get up, then catches him with several punishing forearms to the back of the head. Fulton sends Madison to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a thunderous spine buster. The big man covers, but Madison kicks out at two.
Fulton lets Madison get to his feet, then goozles him, lifts him in the air and brings him down HARD on his knee, right on the small of Chad’s back. Fulton keeps him there for a long time, stretching him out before finally throwing him to the mat. Chad writhes in pain on the mat, and Fulton gets to his feet smirking. He stands on the small of Chad’s back while he argues with the referee, then finally steps off. Chad crawls to the corner and tries to pull himself to his feet, but Fulton catches him with several stiff kicks to the back keeping him from getting up. Fulton finally pulls Chad up and sends him to the ropes and SNAPS him to the mat with a powerslam. Fulton cover, but Chad manages to roll his shoulder at two. Fulton yanks him off the mat, and lifts him into a TORTURE RACK! Chad howls in pain as Fulton tries to snap him in half. The referee asks Madison several times if he wants to quit, but Chad refuses to give up.
Fulton threatens to snap him in half, but Madison doesn’t give up. Fulton staggers toward the ropes a little and Chad manages to push himself off the ropes sending both men to the mat. Fulton gets up first and comes at Chad ready to drop an elbow on him, but Madison rolls out of the way and Fulton gets nothing but mat. Fulton gets to his feet and tries another one, but Madison moves out of the way again. Once again, same result. The fans are roaring for Chad now, and he gets to his feet and waits for Fulton to get up, kicks him in the gut, but Fulton catches his foot, but Chad catches him with an enzuguri. The big man stands there and teeters, but does not go down. Madison grabs him by the head and charges to the corner and hits SLICED BREAD! Madison covers, but Fulton rolls his shoulder at two.
Chad gets to his feet and grabs his back a little bit, but heads to the apron anyway, then up to the top rope. He steadies himself and hits a TEXAS TWISTER (Harlem Hangover)! Madison covers again, but once again, Fulton kicks out. The time keeper tells us there is just under three minutes remaining. Madison once again leaves the ring and waits on the apron for Fulton to get to his feet. As Fulton stands, Madison springs to the top rope and leaps at Fulton, but Fulton catches him and spins him to the mat with a BLACK HOLE SLAM! All of Fulton’s weight (writer’s note: this is not a reflection of Stan Fulton’s weight, nor is this a crack at his size, this is merely a declarative statement regarding the mass of Stan Fulton coming down on Chad Madison, and not a judgment on the amount of said mass. The writer would like to remain free of any legal action by Stan Fulton in case the lawsuit should be revisited. Thank you.) Fulton hooks Madison’s leg hard, and the referee hits the mat and we get one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 13:18 – and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Stan Fulton
Fulton holds the title up and the crowd murmurs. Chad Madison gets to his feet and meets Fulton in the middle of the ring. You can see the look of disappointment in his eyes, but he offers Fulton his hand. What a show of sportsmanship. Fulton takes Madison’s hand to shake it, then PULLS HIM TOWARD HIM AND BLASTS HIM WITH THE ONSLAUGHT TITLE! THAT BASTARD! The crowd boos loudly as Fulton stands over a bloody Chad Madison. Fulton steps out of the ring and grabs his axe handle and comes back in and DRIVES it into Chad’s ribs. He kicks Madison over on his back and slams the axe handle down on the small of his back repeatedly. Fulton grabs Chad and drags him to the corner and climbs up to the second rope. Before he can leap, the crowd explodes as ZANE MYERS runs to the ring! Myers grabs a chair on his way in, and charges into the corner and throws it at Fulton, catching him with a glancing blow to the skull, sending the big man off the ropes, between the ropes and to the floor. Fulton grabs his title and axe handle and walks away from the ring holding his head.
Zane Myers stands on the ropes daring him to come back. Chad gets to his feet, sees his brother standing there, the two of them share a manly hug in the middle of the ring as the crowd roars their approval. Texpress is BACK! They leave the ring together, Chad still in visible pain, but happy as hell to have his brother back.
NOTHING HAPPENED vs. J-P SPARXX & CHRIS EVANS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match“The Trooper” comes up over the sound system, and the thrown-together team (thanks to some quality Darling whining) of Chris Evans and J-P Sparxx (with Jewel) makes their way down the ramp. The two barely look at each other as they get into the ring, and it's pretty clear they're not exactly thrilled. “Wat'cha Want” comes over the PA, and Davin Moreland comes out, alone, to a stunned reaction more than anything else. Not much booing or cheering, just some stunned silence. Davin proceeds to the ring, but the crowd pops big as the other half of the Tag Team Champions, Alexis Darling slowly makes her way down...and she looks PISSED. She gets into the ring and hands her belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower as Davin does the same. He holds them high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Tag Team Championships. He hands them to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
There's more discussion than usual over who is going to start. Evans and Sparxx are predictably fighting over who goes first, while Davin is trying to find out who will go first, and Alexis isn't answering him. Davin decides for her as he steps out to the apron, and Evans finally wins the argument for his side. Alexis and Evans lock up for a bit, until Evans takes the upper hand, and working a headlock. He quickly tries to get things going with a Sliced Bread #2, but Alexis is able to escape as Evans is in the air. Sparxx blind-tags himself in before Evans splats on the mat. Alexis covers Evans, but never sees the sweet Springboard 450 from Sparxx. Sparxx covers, and that gets 2. Sparxx pulls Alexis up and tags Evans. Evans goes to the top and hits an awkward Seated Senton, and in fact, nearly whiffed on it in the process because Sparxx wasn't holding her right. Sparxx distracts the ref as Alexis heads to the top. From the outside, Jewel makes her lose her balance, and she's in the tree of woe!
Evans sees it and tags Sparxx in quickly as Evans hits a dropkick to Alexis, followed up by another dropkick by Sparxx. Evans is looking for an Irish Whip from Sparxx, but he's looking for the same thing, and they do a little do-si-do as Davin is able to free his partner from the ropes without Hightower noticing. Evans and Sparxx start to argue, and Alexis makes them pay with an awesome Slingshot Double Bulldog from the outside. She covers Sparxx and gets 2. Standing SSP from Alexis is worth another 2. Alexis rolls Sparxx over and hits a MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP, and the camera cuts to Davin who looks a little sad on the outside, but is still cheerleading for his partner. Alexis takes this opportunity to lock in a Darling Money Clip, and Sparxx is feeling it. Evans looks on a bit from the outside before running in and breaking up the count. Alexis shakes out the cobwebs and looks to blast Evans in the face while he's on the apron. She doesn't see Sparxx hook in the SCHOOLGIRL ROLLUP. Hightower is counting and Evans tags himself in as Alexis kicks out at 2. Evans says something to Sparxx, and Sparxx holds Alexis by the armpits as Hightower starts a 5-count. Evans heads to the top, Sparxx tosses her straight into the air, and Evans hits a TORNADO DDT IN MID-AIR! Holy Shit! Evans covers...1....2....Davin flies in to break up the count.
Sparxx no-likey and starts raining punches down on the big man. Evans joins in and they take control. They tandem whip Davin into the corner. Big running AJ Forearm splash by Evans, followed by one by Sparxx. That's followed immediately by a Hesitation Dropkick by Evans as Sparxx heads to the top. Hurricarana on Davin as he staggers out of the corner. That was fucking cool. Sparxx follows through on it into a rollup...but Davin's not the legal man! Rookie mistake by Sparxx! Alexis takes the opportunity to dropkick Evans through the ropes, and he nearly hits Jewel in the process. Sparxx is annoyed and stands up to complain, but eats a RANHEI by the Darling twin! She covers...1...2...NO! Sparxx just did roll the shoulder. Alexis drags Sparxx to the corner. She tags in Davin and pulls Sparxx to his feet. Davin holds him up and Alexis hits a NOT TOO BAD AT ALL DIAMOND CUTTER! With a smirk she directs Davin to the top rope. Davin hits an AWESOME SSP and covers. Alexis screens off Evans as he tries to break up the count.
WINNER in 14:56 by PINFALL....Nothing Happened!
Davin and Alexis are handed their belts, and they fist bump with a little shrug as Alexis soaks up the cheers up the ramp. Davin takes a knee next to a dejected Chris Evans and over a groggy J-P Sparxx. He's talking to both of them...at length, it appears. He pulls Sparxx to his feet and claps both men on the shoulder as he heads to the back. Sparxx and Evans start an unlikely discussion in the ring as they get a standing ovation for their efforts this evening. Too bad the mic doesn't catch any of this.
THE DEAD vs. POE – No Disqualification Intercontinental Title MatchThe camera cuts back to Poe’s locker room. We see Poe bending to kiss Selena on the forehead, then leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Poe heads down the hallway making a beeline right for DELIVERS locker room. Poe gets there and kicks the door open, Dead jumps to his feet and tosses his Intercontinental title aside, and charges at Poe. They meet in the middle of the room, the rest of Delivers move out of the way and let the fight begin without interference. Dead gets a couple of shots in early, but Poe catches him with a knee to the gut and drags him out into the hallway.
Poe runs Dead into the wall, then pulls him to his feet again, scoops him up and DRIVES him back first into one of the pillars holding the arena up. Poe dumps Dead to the ground, and Dead grabs his back in pain. Poe looks around and finds a shovel in the surrounding plunder, and repeatedly brings it down across Dead’s back. Poe pulls Dead to his feet and whips him toward some equipment, showing his athletic ability, Dead leaps onto the equipment, grabs a piece of broken wood from the top of one of the cases, turns, and leaps at Poe, slamming the wood down on his head. Poe drops to one knee grabbing his head, and soon we see that Poe has been busted wide open. As the blood runs down his face, Poe snarls and gets to his feet. As Dead gets up, Poe charges at him, but Dead side steps him and shoves him into a concession stand. Poe flips over the counter, sending the people behind it screaming into the night.
Dead climbs onto the counter and waits for Poe to get to his feet, as he does, Dead leaps, but Poe has a beer bottle in his hand and SHATTERS it across Dead’s face! Dead grabs his face as a buddle of beer and blood forms on the floor beneath his face. Poe grabs Dead’s hands and pulls them away from his covered face, and we see Dead has a NASTY gash under his eye that is gushing blood. Poe smiles at this and grabs a piece of the glass and tries to slice Dead’s eye out, telling him to quit if he ever wants to see again. Dead does not give up, but he is losing the battle and the glass gets closer and closer to his eye. Finally in desperation, Dead reaches up and gouges Poe’s eye forcing him to drop the glass. Dead shoves Poe off of him and gets to his feet. He grabs Poe and they head back into the concession area. Dead clears people from a table and rolls Poe onto it, soaking a pile of discounted Chickenshit Heels t-shirts in blood in the process. Dead gets a nearby ladder and sets it up, climbs to the top, and hits a FLYING LEGDROP! The table shatters and Poe hits the ground. Dead covers Poe, but Poe manages to roll his shoulder at two.
Dead snaps at the referee in frustration then slowly pulls Poe out of the wreckage of the table and tries to whip Poe at the ladder he just set up. Poe reverses the whip and scales the ladder, turns and leaps at Poe, this time Poe catches him by the throat and CHOKESLAMS him onto the concrete! Dead may be, well, dead! Poe covers Dead, but Dead kicks out at two, just before the referee hit the cement for the third time. Poe pulls Dead to his feet and whips him at a set of doors that lead outside. Dead crashes through the doors and is outside in the parking area. Dead gets to his feet and staggers around, Poe lines him up and tries a HIEROGLYPH but Dead slips out of the way and Poe slams his knee onto the grill of a car. Dead grabs Poe and tries a pile driver, but Poe backdrops out of it, sending Dead crashing into the car windshield. Poe climbs onto the car and pulls Dead out of the glass and scoops him up and TOMBSTONES HIM ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR! Poe covers Dead, still on top of the car, but somehow, Dead kicks out AGAIN. Poe slides off the hood of the car, but when he hits the ground, his knee buckles sending him to one knee.
Poe stands, trying to get the circulation going in his knee again, when a very loud, very expensive sports car comes roaring his way. Poe steps back out of the way rather easily, but looks annoyed nonetheless. The car stops and we see Firewoman get out of the car, look at Poe and smirk. Poe snarls and turns his attention back to the Dead, who is now on his feet. As Poe turns, Dead hits the CLOSE THE CASKET! Dead covers Poe, perhaps grabbing some tights in the process, and gets the one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 16:33 – and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion – The Dead
The referee hands Dead his title and he grabs it and walks away. Poe gets to his feet and looks at Firewoman, who finishes her cigarette, tosses it aside, smiles at Poe and heads into the arena.
FIREWOMAN vs. MATT FOLZ vs. RAVENNA BLUE – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat MatchFirst out is Ravenna Blue to ridiculous cheers. Then comes Matt Folz, to a mix of boos and cheers, because even though he's a mercenary, he did take out one of the Five. Then the Champion comes out, and Firewoman soaks up the boos, although she's getting the usual smarky-cheers. The three get in the ring and look at each other, while Hightower does the usual belt-thing. He calls for the bell and we are underway!
The three kind of look at each other a bit. Firewoman looks at Ravenna who nods. Fire smiles, and the two attack with a double clothesline to Folz, who is caught off guard. Looks like Ravenna agreed to Firewoman's proposition. The two take turns dropping elbows, as Folz basically tries to block. Finally, Fire and Ravenna get bored with this, and they grasp hands and do a double ax-handle drop onto Folz's sternum. They stand and step away, nodding and pleased with themselves on their teamwork. Folz gets to his feet but not for long as the two women each grab and arm and whip him into the ropes. As he bounces out, Fire goes low, and drop toe holds him as Ravenna hits the opposite ropes, and bounces out with a drop kick, to his chest. Fire scrambles to make the pin, one...two-no. Folz gets a shoulder up just as Hightower hits two. Fire picks Folz up and punches him back into the ropes, the whips him across the ring, but Folz is not that far out. He reverses and continues the whip, and Fire hits the ropes. But she grabs on as Folz is doing his own drop kick to the air, he falls on his back and Ravenna sees her opportunity and dives in for the pin, one....NO! Folz kicks out easily and turns on her, but doesn't see Fire come from behind. She spins him around and Ravenna rolls him up for the small package, one...two...NO! Fire pulls her off, and shakes her finger at her. Ravenna indicates that while she agrees Folz shouldn't win, she doesn't think that means Fire should either. While they are discussing the details of their arrangement, Folz recovers and sees his opportunity. He grabs Fire from behind and hits a quick neck breaker, and then attacks Ravenna. He drives her back into the ropes with chops (WOOOOOO!) and then hits a quick suplex. He makes the cover, one...two....Ravenna kicks out! Folz starts to go after her again, but Fire has recovered. Fire chop blocks him from behind, and Ravenna backs off and hits a shining wizard. Fire makes the pin, but....Ravenna pulls her off? Fire is on her feet in a flash, her anger rising. She gets right in Ravenna's face, but then they're both knocked down by Folz, who truly puts the boots to Fire and Ravenna, alternating. He saves a huge foot stomp for Fire, and then wraps Ravenna up in the Tazzmission! Ravenna struggles to free herself, but she can't and is fading fast. Just as it looks like she's ready to tap, Fire breaks the hold with a knee to Folz's head. Ravenna struggles to her feet and Fire attacks her. She kicks her in the stomach and tries to get her up for the Voodoo Drop. She hits it and one...two...NO! Folz breaks up the pin!
Fire drops Ravenna, but not on her head and turns to Folz in a rage. Folz just grins and we think he says "C'mon, get your revenge." Fire smiles, looks around the ring. She hits the ropes and flies out for a lariat, but Folz ducks. Fire hits Ravenna instead (not that she's crushed by that) and knocks Ravenna into Hightower. Ravenna stops to check on his well being, while Fire appears to be playing with her shirt. Fire pulls brass knuckles out of her shirt! She puts them on, and NAILS Folz while Ravenna is arguing her point. Folz is positioned just right, and so it knocks him over the top rope and onto the floor. Fire follows him out. Ravenna looks back to see this, and rolls out of the ring, as the commotion gets Hightower to start paying attention to the match again. Fire picks up the unconscious Folz and wraps his arm around the ring post, repeatedly. Ravenna approaches Fire, but Fire stops her with a stiff kick almost to the gut, but Ravenna dodges it. Fire drops an unconscious Folz, and goes after Ravenna. She chases Ravenna around the ring, as the referee starts the count. She quickly reverses, and Fire doesn't see it. Fire runs right in to a clothesline and goes down. Fire grabs the back of her head, as Ravenna climbs up to the apron. It looks like shes going to hit something flippy! But then she hears the referee call "Eight." She smiles, turns and gets back into the ring. Fire stands slowly...."Nine....TEN!"
WINNER by count out in 19:44 – Ravenna Blue
The referee raises Ravenna's hand. Fire snarls at her, but then turns her attention back to Folz, who consciousness level hasn't really changed much, but he's moving a bit. Fire grabs a folding chair and goes over to him. She yells "Remember this?" and proceeds to Pilmanize Folz's arm, just like he did LD's. She drops the chair, and then looks at Ravenna in the ring, smiles, and shakes her head before going to the back. As Fire is about to go through the curtain to the back, Poe runs out and KILLS her with a HIEROGLYPH! Fire is OUT! Poe looks down at her and smiles, then picks up her title and looks at it for a moment, before draping it across her prone body and heading to the back.
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