*Stank and LD Williams are in the lounge of a Monterrey Mexico 5 star hotel, having a few drinks, having not seen any OOWF-tv and waiting for Moosehead Jack.*
LDW – Where do you think he is?
Stank – Don’t know. Check your messages.
*LD Williams reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cellphone.*
Stank – Ah Mexico… this is where my wrestling career began.
LDW – Really?
Stank – Yeah. Did I ever tell you about it?
LDW – No.
Stank – My brother got invited to a promotion here by a mutual friend. He wrestled for them and was doing well until…
LDW - … go on.
Stank – Well he got into some trouble with the promoter and he ended up getting locked up.
LDW – What did he do?
Stank – To this day I still can’t get a straight answer on that. From what I can piece together I think Jared slept with the promoter’s wife… but I don’t know for sure. All I know is the hell I had to go through to get Jared out.
LDW – Geez, what did you have to do?
Stank – It was crazy, man. For me it all started in Atlanta where I had to tell my girlfriend I was going to Mexico. She was not happy…
The scene fades to Stank standing in an apartment complex parking lot. His girlfriend stands in a balcony two stories up, throwing Stank’s things down at him while he tries to calmly respond to her. He dodges shoes and some of his old trinkets as they rain down on him from above. She is not happy.SFJ#5 – You’re SO goddamn SELFISH Lucas! I am NOT happy!
Lucas – Sweety it’s MY BROTHER! I can’t just LEAVE HIM there!
SFJ#5 – One week in Vegas, Honey! THAT is what you PROMISED me!
Lucas – I KNOW! BUT… this just came up! I can’t just ignore it! Mom would KILL me!
SFJ#5 – What do you expect ME to do while you’re bouncing around MEXICO doing godknowswhat??
Lucas – Honey it’s NOT a fucking vacation. Jared got himself LOCKED up! Held hostage… something? I don’t quite understand it, but Miguel sounded scared. I have to go!
SFJ#5 – Are you your brother’s keeper…? Well…? ARE YOU?
Lucas – Baby you’re being irrational about this.
*Stank smacks his forehead and looks down at the pavement immediately regretting his choice of words.*
SFJ#5 – I’m being… WHAT?
Lucas – I’m just saying don’t you think you’re being just a little unreasonable?
*SFJ#5 is beside herself flabbergasted.*
SFJ#5 – Unreasonable…? UNREASONABLE??? I’ll give you UNREASONABLE!
*SFJ#5 retreats back into their apartment and comes out with Stank’s…*
Lucas – No. NOT my George Foreman… NOT MY GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL!
*SFJ#5 gleefully tosses the George Foreman grill off the balcony narrowly missing Stank as it shatters in three pieces smacking into the pavement.*
Lucas – Damn it woman IT CATCHES ALL THE FAT!
SFJ#5 – And SOMEHOW finds its way to your midsection!
Lucas – Oooh fat jokes. Yeah that’ll get me to stay.
*Another object shatters at Stank’s feet.*
Lucas – Was that my SEGA GENESIS!??
________
LDW – Whoa a Sega Genesis? I remember those.
Stank – Yeah I had just got the 32x add-on so I could play Doom.
LDW – I can’t wait to get one for… myself?
Stank – Uh… the system is like ancient now.
LDW – You can still…what…? BUYTHEMINCANADA?? I’m not saying that!
Stank – LD what are you doing? Stick to the script.
LDW – A Canadian joke…? Really?
Stank – Just read the line before Kayfabe shows up.
*LD Williams motions for the next cue card and the stagehand obliges. LD reads silently then turns toward Stank shooting him a dirty look.*
LDW – We do not TRADE in Elk hides and hockey pucks. We have currency worth more than your American dollar right now, you bastard.
Stank – Barely.
LDW – I’m not in this promo for you to have me insult my homeland.
Stank – Why else would you b-
LDW – JUST FINISH TELLING YOUR BLEEDING STORY DAMN IT!
Stank – Alright fine! Where was I? Ah yes… Five was having a fit. Said I didn't care about her needs. She then started spouting off psychobabble from couples therapy. Yes back then we were in couples therapy. Anyway... I tried to explain to her that I had no choice. I couldn’t go to Vegas with her that week I had to get Jared out… And do YOU know what SHE did?
LDW – What?
Stank – Wait… are you still mad about the Canadian stuff from a second ago?
LDW – No… can we move on with the promo?
Stank – You’re pouting.
LDW – I don’t… pout!
Stank – Dude, I’m sorry. I thought it migh-
LDW – ANYWAY!
Stank – Right…Anyway she called a time out.
LDW – A time out? What are you in kindergarten?
Stank – It’s something she picked up from couples therapy. She didn't seem to get it. I didn’t want to waste anymore time trying to explain it to her especially after she tried to give me an ultimatum. She was going to Las Vegas with or without me. I told her I loved her but I had to go.
LDW – And that was that.
Stank – After she bean me in the head with a shoe, yeah. So I arrived in Mexico and the first thing I needed to do was rent a car.
The scene fades to a used car lot in Mexico.Lucas – El CaMIno!
*Several hours, and frequent car trouble later, Stank arrives at the Asistencia Asesoría y Administración (AAA) Mexican wrestling promotion offices where Jared is being held. He is met by a shady looking local dude*
Lucas – My name is Lucas Mann.
SLLD - No hablo ingles.
Lucas – My brother is Jared Mann. I believe you guys have got him locked up.
SLLD – No hablo ingles
Lucas – I’m sure SOMEone here speaks English.
SLLD – Talk to senor Pena. He runs the place. You can find his office in the back.
_________
LDW – I thought he didn’t speak English?
Stank – For the purposes of this story we will just assume everyone speaks English from here on out, okay?
LDW – Fine with me.
Stank – As I was saying…
_________
Lucas – Are you senor Pena?
AP – Antonio Pena. These are my associates El Hijo del Santo, Blue Panther, Fuerza Guerrera, and the boy over there is Rey Rey.
RR – BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
AP – Yes Rey that’s nice. Go help your uncle Eddie.
__________
LDW – Okay, NOT that I believe a word of this but… I miss Eddie.
Stank – Me too.
___________
AP – I’m afraid I can’t release your brother. He has commited a great offense.
Lucas - *Sigh* What did he do?
AP – I dare not speak it… the very thought angers me to murderous intent.
Lucas – The fact that you have my brother locked up here in your building angers me the same.
AP – Surely you are not threatening me Mister Mann.
Lucas – Of course not. What can I do to facilitate my brother’s release?
AP - … Let me think about thi-
RR – BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
*Everyone in the room falls silent, staring at the young Rey Rey*
Lucas - Why does he keep doing that?
RR - BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
AP – YES REY we GET IT! Go PLAY outSIDE! Please forgive the interruption Mister Mann. I’m afraid the boy has taken one too many bumps outside the ring these last few days. Wreckless, that one.
Lucas – Look I don’t have a lot of money but I can get some. I will pay you to release Jared.
AP – I don’t want your money senor Mann. No amount would ever make up for what your brother did… however….
Lucas – Yes?
AP – There is something that I want back which was stolen from me. Perhaps you can retrieve it.
Lucas – Then you’ll let Jared go?
AP – Yes. Yes.
Lucas – What is it?
AP – A very special. Very old, how do you say…? Antique? Weapon.
Lucas – A weapon?
AP – A pistol. It is priceless. You know what? Take Rey Rey with you. I could use some relief from his constant booyakas.
Lucas – Okay where can I find it?
___________
LDW – Wait…
Stank – What?
LDW - … I have seen this movie. Finding the pistol turns out to be easy but getting it home is a whole other matter. The pistol supposedly carries a curse - a curse you’re given every reason to believe, especially when FIVE is being held hostage by a white, gay, hit man named Leroy to ensure the safe return of the pistol. Tell me that’s not what happened.
Stank – That’s not what happened.
LDW – C’mon man! You haven’t seen The Mexican?
Stank – That’s not what happened. It didn’t GO that way.
*LD Williams smirks*
LDW – How did it go?
The scene fades to a bar somewhere in a small Mexican town. Rey Rey walks in and has a seat at the bar. The patrons all shoot him dirty looks, but he ignores them. I guess this is the one town in Mexico where small luchadores are not welcome. Rey orders a beer from the bartender. The bartender fills a glass with beer and slides it over to Rey Rey. He takes a sip then scowls.*Bartender – Anything else?
*Rey Rey considers his response before speaking.*
RR – No. I'm just glad to be alive right now. I was up a few towns away- you know Saragosa? I was visiting a bar there, not unlike this one. They serve beer, not quite as good as this, but close. And I saw something you wouldn't believe. I'm sitting there… small table all by myself. Now this bar, it's full of real low-lives. I mean, not like this place here. No, I mean bad. Like they were up to no good, know what I'm sayin'? Anyway, I'm all by myself, I like it that way. Meanwhile, things are going on... under the table kinds of things. Not too obvious, but, not too secret, either. So, I'm sitting there, and in walks the biggest BLACK GUY I have ever seen. Big as shit. Just walks right in like he owns the place. Now, nobody knew quite what to make of him, or quite what to think. There he was and in he walked. I mean, He was dark. It was as if he was always walking in a shadow. I mean every step he took towards the light, just when you thought his face was about to be revealed, it wasn't. It was as if the lights dimmed, just for him.
*The bartender stares at Rey Rey not quite knowing what to make of his story.*
RR - So this guy... takes a seat at the bar orders a soda, sits back, says nothing.
Bartender - He ordered a soda pop?
RR - I wasn't interested in his drink. I was interested in what he said. You know he was talking business because he upset the bartender. Especially when he mentioned.... He said something like Piss…?
Bartender – Piss?
RR – No. No. Not piss. Pisto..?
Bartender - ... Pistola?
RR – THAT’S what it was. PISTOLA!
*Everyone in the bar jumps.*
RR – Anyway… he pissed off the bartender plenty. Some of those unsavory characters... not like these boys here in this fine establishment, but real scum, they got pissed too. Started pulling guns and knives… starting some shit. Now, the stranger he bolts off of the barstool. He dives into the middle of the room… reaches inside his coat. I don't know what he does there, but in two shakes he’s whipped his coat open and he's pulled out the biggest hand cannon I've ever fucking seen…That was just the beginning.
Bartender – You just stood there? You didn't run for cover or join in?
RR - I was frozen stiff. All I could do was watch this... thing tear the place apart. It was amazing. Cutthroat scumbags were coming forward and dying much-deserved deaths. Don't get me wrong, this was no class-act group like you got here. Not at all. No, these guys were world-class turds. I’m sorry, but they got what they deserved. It was Judgment Night in that place. He grabs one of these guys... the only guy still breathing. He starts getting information out of him. And I knew by the whispering... this guy was giving up the goods. Spilling his guts, confessing the world. He told that stranger everything.
Bartender - Everything?
*Rey Rey scowls at his mug further.*
RR - Can I get a cleaner mug? This one's dirty.
Bartender - Fuck you. It's the cleanest one I got.
RR - So anyway...without warning... without any hint or preview, the stranger whips around and he sees...me.
Bartender - You saw his face?
RR - His face? No… His eyes.
Bartender - And he didn't do anything to you?
RR - Not really. He turned to the guy on the floor. Stranger shot him... walked over to the bartender, paid and left.
Bartender - The bartender lived?
(laughing) The bartender never gets killed.
RR - But... as he neared the door... no man, the bartender got it worse than anybody.
*The bartender and the rest of the patrons sit in silence, letting the tale resonate in their collective minds. Finally the bartender pours Rey Rey another beer.*
Bartender – Here... It's on the house... if you remember his face.
RR - Thanks, but no thanks. I’m clearing out of here. Because I think… he's headed this way. Thank you, boys! You take care!
_______________
Stank - … Then he said BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
LDW - …
Stank – No bullshit.
LDW – Right… then what happened.
Stank – I went into that bar. Shot up some Mexicans and found out who had Antonio Pena’s pistol.
*LD Williams rolls his eyes.*
LDW – You’ve lived an amazing life Lucas.
Stank – Don’t I know it… but let me finish. After I got the information I was looking for I left the bar, but I guess I missed one of them because he followed me out. Turns out he was an associate of the man who had Pena’s pistol.
LDW – And the name of the man who had Pena’s pistol? No. No. Let me guess… Bucho.
Stank – Hey! How’d you know?
LDW – Lucky guess.
Stank – Yeah. So… Bucho’s boy followed me out the bar but I was distracted because guess who comes walking in my direction… Salma FREAKIN Hayek!
LDW – Do tell.
Stank – I’m like HOLY SHIT it Salma Hayek! What the fuck is SHE doing here…? But she had a shocked expression looking at the man behind me. That was warning enough as I shoved her out of the way in time. I took one in the arm but I managed to kill that guy. The next thing I know I’m in this bookstore to see Salma stitching up my arm and let me tell you… she’s doing a piss poor job of it. Do I care? HELL NO! It’s FREAKIN SALMA HAYEK!
LDW –
(Throwing his hands in the air and feigning shock.) Whooooo.
Stank – I then pass out from the pain killers she had given me. When I come to…
The scene fades to the bookstore. Salma Hayek is looking through Stank’s things. Her back is turned to Stank while she does this. Stank rises from where he is and stands staring at Hayek’s ass.SH – Are you staring at my ass?
Lucas – Oh uh… you… don’t try to change the subject!
SH – What subject?
Lucas – Ah… Why are you going through my stuff?
SH – I know why you’re here. You’re here to get the pistol from Bucho.
Lucas – I have to. The pistol belongs to Antonio Pena who’s keeping my brother hostage. If I get the pistol for him, he will release my brother.
SH – The pistol is cursed!
Lucas – Yes I’ve heard that.
SH – Oh so you know about the pistol containing the damned soul of a heartbroken woman?
Lucas – No. I can’t say that I knew that part.
SH – If anyone tries to fire the pistol it will backfire and kill the one holding it.
Lucas – Something to remember.
SH –
Lucas – God you’re beautiful.
SH – I know. I know. It is a burden in this town because I am the only female here blessed with such beauty.
Lucas – I can’t take my eyes off of-
SH – I know… I’m up here by the way?
Lucas – Huh? OH! Yeah, I… should probably get going. I need to meet up with Rey Rey.
___________________
LDW – So you left and caught up with Mystero… I mean, Rey Rey.
Stank – Yeah. And he tried to convince me to give up, that I should probably try to find another way to save Jared because the way things were going we could end up getting killed. And he almost had me agreeing until…
The scene transitions to Rey Rey with a throwing knife stuck in his chest!RR – BOOYAKA!
Lucas – REY! REY!
*Stank turns but catches two additional throwing knives buried in his arm before getting a full view of his assailant!*
Lucas – It’s YOU!
________________
Stank - It was MACHETE!
LDW – Machete?
Stank – Fuck yeah, Machete!
________________
M – I'm here to kill you Senor Mann!
Stank – Better men than you have tried MACHETE!
M – The difference between those guys and ME is that I’m a MexiCAN, not a MexiCAN’T!
Stank – Okay Mr. MexCAN! CAN you see those guys pulling up behind you?
*A bulletproof limo pulls up behind Machete who turns to confront the new arrivals. A passenger rolls down the window.*
Passenger – Who are you?
M – Name's Machete. I’m here to kill the American.
Passenger – We are also looking for an American. He is said to be very large and dark, much like yourself. Who sent you? Who is your boss?
*Machete pulls out a… machete.*
M – THIS is my boss!
*Machete deftly STABS the passenger in his face! Stank takes this moment to sneak away, hearing cries of help and gunfire, as he flees the scene.*
____________________
LDW – So… Rey Rey is dead.
Stank – Geez Billy Dee! I tell you that fricken MACHETE freaking STABS a guy in his FACE and all you can think about is Rey Rey being dead?
LDW – You’re right. Beside the point. Please continue.
Stank – I’m bleeding to death and I’m about to pass out. I stumble my way back to the bookstore. Seconds later, Bucho’s men arrive. Salma hides me behind the counter and in walks Bucho… and he is some kind of PISSED!
The scene cuts to the bookstore.B – WHERE are THE KEYS TO my FUCKING CAAAAAAAA!!!
SH – What are you talking about?
B – Sorry. I’m not talking to you senorita. Earlier these idiots could not find the keys to my car so every now and then I have to keep them on their toes.
*One of Bucho’s henchmen run up and show Bucho the keys to his car.*
B – Thank you. You get to live. Now (turning towards Salma) WHERE IS THE AMERICAAAAAAAN!!??
SH – What American?
B – The one looking for my pistola!
SH – He’s not here.
B - … … I believe you. You’re so beautiful.
SH – I know. I know. I’m up here by the way.
B – Wha..? Oh Yes, Of course. If you see the American, be a dear and let me know immediately so that I might kill him. Gracias.
SH – De Nada.
*Bucho and his men leave. Salma runs around the counter to attend to Stank.*
Lucas – De Nada?
SH – What?
Lucas – You’re going to turn me in to that asshole.
SH – Why would you think that? Because I said De Nada? I was just being polite.
Lucas – POLITE?
SH – Stop talking! You sound delirious from blood loss. Let’s get you upstairs.
*Salma Hayek assists Stank upstairs. Once there she attends to his wounds while Stank sits silently staring at her ample bosom.*
SH – Hello? I’m up here!
Lucas – Oh. Sorry. It’s just…
SH – No. It’s okay. Kiss me.
Lucas – Say whaaaa?
SH – Kiss me you magnificent specimen of a man!
_____________________
Stank – So I did... and we made sweet, sweet, love to the melodic, electric guitar play of Grammy award winning, Los Angeles based, rock band,
Los Lobos.LDW – So you cheated on your girlfriend.
Stank – It was SALMA HAYEK, MAN!
LDW –
Stank – Hey Five cheated on ME with Johnny Depp.
LDW – What.
Stank – Let me finish telling you the story. You see what I didn’t realize at the time was that SFJ#5 was in town. And GET this… she was a federal agent!
LDW – What.
Stank – I know right? But I’m getting ahead of myself. You see after Salma Hayek and I were done making sweet, sweet, love to the melodic, electric guitar play of Grammy award winning, Los Angeles based, rock band,
Los Lobos. we had to hightail it outta there. Apparently the town was becoming unstable because the local military was staging a coup. General Marquez was the head of the military… HE shot Salma Hayek, killing her and my unborn son!
LDW –
Stank –
LDW – Of course he did.
Stank – The bastard. I learned later that the General was actually hired by Bucho to assassinate the President!
LDW – Of Mexico.
Stank – No… The United States. OF COURSE MEXICO! It’d be TOTALLY unrealistic for them to try that in the U.S.
LDW – Yeah because everything you’ve told me so far is very credible.
Stank – I’m glad you think so… anyway… Turns out, Johnny Depp is in Mexico at the time to try and stop the coup. I guess through some sort of citizen’s arrest or some shit. He hires me to take out Marquez. Which I’m more than happy to oblige because he just killed my Salma Hayek!
LDW – Of course.
Stank – With the help of Enrique Iglesias and some white guy I didn’t know, we were able to gun down all of Marquez’s army, but the General himself escaped. But not before killing Enrique and the white dude.
LDW – Uh huh…
Stank – The General escaped. And I was able to track him down to the next town over. That’s when things really got strange.
LDW – Oh so now THIS is the part of the story where things get strange. I get it. Go on continue.
The scene fades to Stank walking up to a strip club, the sun setting in the background. As he approaches he can’t help but hear the door man yelling.CP - This is a pussy blow out! Alright, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy. We got hot pussy, cold pussy. We got wet pussy. We got smelly pussy. We got hairy pussy, bloody pussy. We got snapping pussy. We got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naugahyde pussy. We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy. C'mon, you want pussy, come on in Pussy Lovers! If we don’t got it, you don't want it!
Lucas – I’m not looking for pussy. I’m looking for a man.
CP – Yo Holmes, the male strip club is about 30 miles back the way you came!
Lucas – No dumbass. He’s a General who just tried to assassinate your president. Word is he’s hiding in this club.
CP – What are you a cop?
Lucas – No. He killed my Salma Hayek.
CP – Whaaa? Nah man you got it all wrong. Salma Hayek’s inside.
Lucas – What are you talking about, ese?
CP – She's one our strippers… The bess one! Heh Heh Heh. You should come inside check her out, Holmes. I’m sure she’d be happy to see her lost love.
Lucas – Get the fuck outta my way.
*Stank pushes the doorman to the side and storms in. Sure enough on stage is Salma Hayek!*
Lucas – Holy shit!
SH – LUCAS!
*Salma Hayek runs off the stage and jumps into Stank’s arms, kissing him all over.*
Lucas – How?
SH – Shhh.. mi amor. Not now. Just make love to me.
Lucas – Whaaaa?
SH – I want you inside me.
__________________
Stank – So I kissed her… and we made sweet, sweet, love.
LDW - … Right there… on the floor of the Mexican strip club... for all to see.
Stank – It’s Salma fricken Hayek, man.
LDW – (
Rolling his eyes)Tell me something Lucas.
Stank – What?
LDW – Did you ever find the pistol?
Stank – The what?
LDW –
(irritated and through gritted teeth) The PISTOL! You know. The antique gun Antonio Pena wants back so you can get Jared out from under his custody?
Stank – Yeah. Yeah. I’m getting to that. Hold on. So I finish making love to Salma Hayek.
_____________________
Lucas – That was great baby. Damn my back hurts. You scratched me pretty hard. I think you might have drawn blood.
SH – Yeah about that. Um… I’m not exactly… alive.
Lucas - I’m sorry babe. I can do better. Chalk it up to performance anxiety…
SH – No. No. Sweety uh… don’t I feel… cold to you?
Lucas – Yeah a little, but we’re kind of exposed here on the floor of this strip club and- Oooh is that my blood on your fingers. Eww… don’t lick it!
SH – I’m a vampire, sweety. Part of the undead.
Lucas – Say what?
SH – In fact everyone in this bar is a vampire.
Lucas – Oh.
SH – You okay?
Lucas – Hmmm. Let me think.
*Stank slowly rises from the floor and pulls his clothes back on. He notices everyone in the bar creeping up on him.*
Lucas – Yo is THAT Machete?
SH – Focus honey. We’re about to eat you.
*Stank looks over to his right and sees another familiar face.*
Lucas – Rey Rey?
RR – BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!
Lucas – Oh NOT you too, buddy!
SH – Honey… sweety… it doesn’t have to be this way. I could turn you and we can be together forever.
Lucas – Uh… before I make any rash decisions could you tell me if you’ve seen the man who killed you?
SH – Oh yeah we ate the General an hour before you got here.
Lucas – So he’s dead.
SH – Dead dead not undead.
Lucas – Well then I… should be going.
SH – Honey don’t be stupid.
Lucas – No listen. It’s not you. It’s me… tempting as it is for me to stay and become one of your merry band of undead stripper dudes… and the possibility of making sweet sweet love to you for all eternity… I’ve got obligations. My brother is still being held against his will. I have to find Bucho and get the pistol from-
SH – Well then let me save you the trouble. Bucho! Venido aquí!
*From out of the Shadows arrives Bucho, all dressed in white, and with the butt of the pistol protruding up from the front waist of his pants. Stank stands there with his mouth open in mild shock.*
Lucas – Well this is an unexpected twist. I don’t suppose I can talk any of you out of letting me walk out of here alive with that gun?
SH – Let me turn you and make you forget about the gun, your brother, or any of your other obligations.
Lucas – Uh…
SH – C’mon honey… don’t you want to make sweet, sweet love to me forever?
_________________
Stank – And let me tell you Billy Dee… I was mighty tempted.
LDW – Salma Hayek.
Stank – You damn skippy. *Sigh* But it wasn’t meant to be.
The scene cuts to Stank CHARGING at Bucho! Before the white clad vampire can react, he is SPEARED to the floor by Stank! Stank grabs the gun and pulls the trigger, disintegrating Bucho in a cloud of ember and ash! The big man then draws the weapon and points it at Salma Hayek who transforms into a grotesque looking demon before getting vaporized by the cursed antique pistol. The other vampires scatter giving Stank a wide berth as he swings the weapon around wildly aiming at anything that moves.Lucas – Stay back! Just let me leave and you get to live!
*The vampires err on the side of caution allowing Stank to leave.*
____________________
Stank – Dawn was approaching so they didn’t follow me.
LDW – So you killed Salma Hayek.
Stank – I didn’t KILL her. She was already dead!
LDW – Right.
Stank – Anyway I brought the pistol back to Antonio Pena and he allowed me to leave with Jared.
LDW –
Stank –
LDW –
Stank –
LDW – That’s it? That’s the end of your story?
Stank – Oh yeah. Antonio Pena was so impressed by what I had done he offered to take Jared and I under his tutelage. It was short lived though because he fired the pistol and ended up maiming himself. He then turned us on to UWA and… the rest is history as they say.
LDW – So…
Stank –
LDW - … Rey Mysterio is a vampire.
Stank – Can’t you tell? The ink? His creepy looking eyes?
LDW -
Stank -
LDW -Where the hell is Moose?
fade
