OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (03/23) Live! From Portoviejo,

[BookerShark]

*SFJ#1 Approaches Stank for an interview.*

SFJ#1 - Stank how do you mentally prepare yourself to stand across the ring from a challenger like Psykle?

Stank - You hit the nail on the head there, Alicia. About 90 percent of the game here is mental. How do I prepare? I'm the World Champion. I've been here before. I've beaten rookies and legends alike. I'm in good shape. I've had time to rest my knee for the first time in a long time. So I'm rested and in better condition than when I beat Evans to become Champ. Psykle has earned his spot. He beat three other men to get his chance to face me. I won't be making it easy for him to take my belt.

SFJ#1 - Switching topics for a moment, our new GM has met with you and appeared to be quite, shall we say, complimentary toward you given your past relationship with him. Would you care to comment on what was said regarding your future with the company and what was offered to you?

Stank - First off Alicia, regardless of who the GM is, my future with this company is secure. There were talks about everyone's contracts being reviewed, renegotiated, what have you, in the coming month, but I'm in a good position and not too worried about any of that. Second in regards to what Juni has offered me... what has he offered me? I mean what exactly are we talking about here? He says a level of control I've not had before. He says I'll have active say in how this company is run. What is he talking about? These are vague if not empty promises. My primary concern, first and foremost, without hesitation or doubt, is to defend this World Championship against ALL who would challenge me. I am NOT interested in becoming Ecosystem's lackey. His past actions are an offense not soon forgotten. I will say this however... any interest I might have in his offer, begins and ends with the ability I'd have to keep his ass in check. I'm heading to his office now so if you'll excuse me.

Fade

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the OOWF arena in Portoviejo, where we find El Lobo Sangriento RUNNING~! on a treadmill as SFJ33 approaches…

SFJ: Can I have a word, Lobo?

ELS: As long as I can keep running while we talk, sure. I need to sweat last night’s alcohol out of my system.

SFJ: I was wondering what that smell was. You’ve been hitting the booze pretty hard since your win last week. Any worries that it will affect your chances against Crusher this week?

ELS: Look, I’m 100% focused on my match this week against Fulton. I did a bit of celebrating after my match last week, then it was St. Patrick’s Day, then DVD bought me a nice bottle of Jack. It would have been rude not to drink it.

SFJ: Somehow, that makes sense. Back to Crusher, what’s your gameplan for your match?

ELS: Fulton’s basically a wrecking ball with legs. I’m going to have to use my speed to stick and move, maybe hope to take him off his game by frustrating him and tiring him out. It’s not going to be an easy match. I have no doubt about that. But I’m sure it’ll be a good match and a fair match. Hopefully, we can go out there and compete in an atmosphere of mutual respect.

SFJ: You realize this is the guy who recently tossed Comrade Sharkoff into a trash compactor, right?

ELS: I’m really, really hoping that was a one-time temporary insanity thing. We done here? I have some thinking to do.

*Lobo walks away from SFJ33 with a worried look on his face as we *FADE*

[BookerShark]

CUT to outside the workout area and El Lobo Sangriento walks straight into the massive form of Stan Fulton, the Crusher. Lobo backs up, looks over the Crusher's prodigious midsection and finally up to his face.

ELS: "Alright, we can do this here, big man. You ready?"

Crusher just looks at Lobo, his eye narrowing.

ELS: "That's right, I was the one that arranged your losing the DDT belt. What are you going to do about it?"

SF: (in a whisper) "Listen good, El Lobo Pequeño. If Sharkoff wanted the title that bad, he can have it. I've made my statement. And Wednesday night I'm going to make my statement with you.

(even quieter) "Enjoy the pain, niño."

Crusher walks off and you can hear him start laughing, the laughter getting louder and louder until it's almost maniacal (but not quite... Fulton's still one of the sane ones, ya know).

El Lobo Sangriento gets an even more worried look on his face as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

Stan Fulton turns around, walks...and crosses paths with Ecosystem, who is carrying some particularly nice-looking streamers on his back.



Fulton: Going to a party?

Eco: Oh, just preparing for one. You might remember my coronation on Wednesday?

Fulton: Speaking of which, have you decided when to deign to defend your stolen title, oh benevolent General Manager?

Eco: I don't like your tone.

Fulton: I don't like your style.

Eco: I don't like your FACE.

Fulton: Have you SEEN your hair?

Eco: You want a title match with me? You really think you're ready to carry THIS?



Fulton: I would probably take the front plate off, but yes.

Eco: Fine. You want your title shot at MADNESS? You've got it. I need something to pump the ratings, with no World Title feud past Mayhem on the horizon.

Fulton: Good. That's all I needed.

Eco: (handing Fulton a small cage) Well, you'll need this too.

Fulton: What's this for?

Eco: Did you already forget your invitation to my coronation? You're the guest of honor! You get to release the doves when the trophy is handed to me.

Fulton: ...you're not serious?

Eco: Fulton, this isn't a wrestling company. This is an entertainment company. We make entertainments. You are contractually bound to perform two entertainments this week: your match against El Lobo, and the release of doves in the MAIN EVENT CORONATION. Enjoy The Fame.

Stank comes into frame.

Eco: Mr. Mann. We have business to attend to.

Stank: We'll see.

Eco and Stank enter into the GM's office as Stan Fulton looks at the cage with bewilderment.

Fulton: Yep. Still one of the sane ones.

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Ecosystem sits at his desk. Stank walks in and lays eyes on Commissioner The President.*

Stank - Get the fuck out.

TP - I beg-

Stank - One.

TP - -your pardon.

Stank - TWO.

TP - Are you addressing-

Stank - THREE!

TP - -ME??

Stank - FOUR!

TP - How DARE Y-

Eco - Perhaps Mr. President it is best that you leave before Mr. Mann here does something he might regret, a rash action that could get him fined.

*The President scowls at Stank, glances over at Ecosystem who nods his head. The President scowls once more at Stank then leaves peacefully. Stank watches The Commissioner go. He then looks over at the GM and can't help but notice Eco's image plastered on the front of the desk. The World Champion looks around and finds the walls decorated with large photos of Eco.*

Stank - Is that a painting of you?

*Ecosystem looks up at the large painting of him which dominates the far wall.*

Eco - Yes. I had it done yesterday. I'm debating whether to bring it to my coronation on Wednesday.

*Stank shakes his head, walks over, and sits on the chair directly in front of the desk and as the champ swivels to the right, the camera picks up yet another photo of Eco glued to the back of Stank's chair. Stank raises his hands and gestures all around.*

Stank - I love what you've done with the place, Juni.

Eco - You don't think it's a bit much?

Stank - No you've hit the perfect balance between id and super-ego.

Eco - That's exactly what I was aiming for.

Stank - Target acquired.

*Ecosystem offers one of those fake smiles which hides contempt. Stank returns the smile.*

Eco - So you want to know exactly what it was I had offered you.

Stank - Past tense? I heard your crack about there being no World Title feuds beyond Mayhem.

Eco - We'll get to that in a minute.

Stank - Save it. I know what you were trying to do. Like you said. You have burned a lot of bridges. And you realize that should the roster decide to revolt, you will have little in the way of allies. Alex, hates you. Davin doesn't trust you. The BKK...? You took Folz's Intercontinental title. Texpress? They don't do politics. The Hawaiians? Perhaps, but I have a feeling you would be a tough sell to Noelani. Drink & Destroy? DVD is already recruiting folks to rise against you. LD? Crusher? Prentiss? Tytan? Firewoman?

*Stank pauses after saying her name. A flash of anger briefly marrs Stank's face, but soon gives way to composure.*

Stank - No matter where you look, you have a problem. The World Champion could do much to help you with the potential headaches, but then again... the World Champion is me, and I don't like you. So what are we to do about this? You can't fire me as long as I'm World Champion. Everyone who was on Team Rick during the war has that clause in their contract. You could strip me of the Title I suppose... but if you were going to do that I assume you would have done it already. So what's your play here, Juni?

Eco -

Stank - Silence? So should I save you the trouble?

*Stank lifts his World Title belt and places it on Eco's desk.*

Stank - You want to take this from me?

Eco - I already told you, Lucas. You are a valuable asset to the OOWF as World Champion.

Stank - Doesn't mean you won't try to screw me, or turn my reign into a joke. I'd sooner resign and ply my trade elsewhere.

*Ecosystem sighs.*

Eco - Listen... what you and many others around here fail to realize is this... a war against me... is pointless. I've already won. I own and operate this fed. Game over. You like to bring up the war as some sort of precedent. Bennett's failure was that his claim was illeagal... and that he allowed Eric O'Mac to take this company into war in the first place. I remind you that I fought on the side of Team Rick and I assure you there will be no war. Mostly because I do not share the failings of LJ Bennett, or the weakness and incompetence of your previous GM.

Stank - What do you want from me, Juni? No double talk, no fucking vague consolations. I want details.

Eco - Or?

Stank - Or I shove that belt straight up your ass and I walk.

Eco - You would walk away from your career? From your legacy? I took you for someone who was smarter than that Lucas Mann. You really need to hear what I have to say.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is PACING~! back and forth outside of a door, and appears to be chain-smoking. Lucky is standing there holding a cardboard beverage holder with two cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee.

L: You should have told Alex.

FW: Alex has enough to worry about.

L: He's not going to be happy.

FW: I don't care, this is something I have to do, and I have to do it by myself.

Firewoman puts out her cigarette and field strips it, because littering is for losers. She grabs the beverages from Lucky.

FW: Go. If he notices I'm not there, or chooses TODAY to start watching OOWF-TV I'll need you run interference.

L: I'll tell him you're with Eliot.

Firewoman gives him a look, and Lucky scurries off. She takes a deep breath...and knocks. OGM&AS Shawn Johnson opens the door.

OGM&ASSJ: Oh....you.

FW: Yeah, um...I need to talk to Samantha.

OGM&ASSJ: Oh, that's not going to happen, you crazy mick.

DM: SHAWN!

OGM&ASSJ: Sorry.

DM: Who is it....*Davin comes to the door and is displeased* Oh...go away. *he starts to slam the door but Firewoman gets her foot in the way.*

FW: I'm not here to see you, I'm hear to see Samantha.

DM: HA! Not happening...

He tries to shove the door shut, but Firewoman manages to get her shoulder and side in between the door and the jamb.

FW: Yes-it-is-happening-because-you-told-me-I-had-to-do-this-so-I'm-doing-it-because-it's-what-you-told-me-to-do-not-because-I'm-trying-to-start-anything-and-to-prove-it-I-searched-all -over-Portoviejo-myself-not-getting-Lucky-to-do-it-for-me-and-found-the-ONLY-Dunkin Donuts-in-Ecuador-to-bring-you-each-a-cup-to-show-that-I'm-really-sincere.

DM: Okay, breathe, sheesh.

Firewoman breathes.

DM: I did NOT say--

SFJ420: Dude, yes you did.

DM: I did?

SFJ420 and OGM&ASSJ: You did.

DM:.......

FW: .....

DM: Fine.

Davin opens the door but glares at her. Firewoman comes in, almost meekly.

FW: Thank you. Here...this is yours. I got decaf for Sam.

DM: You did? Why?

SD-M: What's all the commotion out there?

Samantha comes out from another room.

SD-M: Oh....

DM: She wants to talk to you, and yeah, it was my idea, but I don't think now is the right time, so she's leaving.

SD-M: It's fine.

DM: Huh?

SD-M: It is. Why don't you take the girls out there for ice cream.

DM: Ice cream...are you serious?

Me gives him a look that says, unmistakeably yes, she is very, very serious. Davin has no choice in this.

DM: Fine.

He picks up his coffee Fire bought for him and dumps it in the trashcan.

DM: Dunkin Donuts gives us enough to brew our own whenever we want.

Davin storms out, with Moonbeam and Shawn Johnson ahead of him, slamming the door. Fire looks at the trashcan where Davin dumped the coffee and sighs.

SD-M: Is there really only one Dunkin Donuts in Portoviejo?

FW: Only one in the western half of the country, as best I can tell.

SD-M: Well, I'll take it then. Thank you. *Firewoman hands it to her and she takes it.* Have a seat. No roofies in this, right?

FW: No, not this time.

SD-M: Good....

FW: You ... um....look good. Healthy and stuff.....

SD-M: Thanks.

FW: .....

SD-M: ....

FW: ....

SD-M: Okay, what.

FW: What?

SD-M: Why are you here, Fire.

FW: Oh....well...two reasons, really. First....*She takes a deep breath*... I'm sorry.

SD-M: For....what exactly. And you need to be specific Fire.

FW: Davin's right. I could have stopped Trinity...Ecosystem...I could have stopped them any time I wanted, both before I died and after I came back. If I hadn't been so focused on what I thought I could get out of it...how it would benefit ME....I'm smarter than that.

SD-M: I used to think you were.

FW: No, it's not even that, you know? I just...missed it. I missed what he was doing because I wanted to be.....

Her voice trails off.

SD-M: You wanted to be what?

FW: It doesn't matter. Actions. Lack of actions. THAT'S what matters. And I'm sorry that mine caused you any pain at all.

SD-M: So that's it?

FW: No, Sam, that's not it. It doesn't even come close to it. But it's what I have, right now anyway. A cup of coffee you don't need or want and a flimsy apology that no one is going to believe.

Sam thinks a minute, sipping her coffee.

SD-M: Actually, I do believe you.

FW: You do?

SD-M: Yeah, I do. I mean, I'm not sure where I am on forgiving you, yet, but I believe you. But you're wrong about one thing.

FW: What is that?

SD-M: It very much does matter. You said it yourself in the ring, you were trying to do what you thought was the right thing, or at least the wrong things for the right reason. My husband...your cousin...he doesn't see that. At least not yet. You really betrayed him more than me. I wasn't surprised in the least.

FW: Um....thanks?

SD-M: The point is....I get it, even if he doesn't. Doesn't mean we're going to be best friends just yet, or share recipes around the family hearth...

FW: Yeah, I don't see a Quinn-Darling Thanksgiving dinner on the horizon any time soon.

They both laugh a little, and Firewoman relaxes a little.

SD-M: Macaroon?

FW: Ew, no. Can't stand coconut. Thanks though.

SD-M: Neither can Davin. I get 'em all.

FW: Heh....

SD-M: So you said you had two things, and while that is certainly big enough to be two things....

FW: Oh, yeah...it's about.....your brother. I think it would mean a lot to him if you guys patched things up.

SD-M: We used to be close...but things have changed a lot recently, and I'm not sure we can be again.

FW: I know, and I'm not saying you have to be now, it's just...

SD-M: We see things so differently now, and last time we talked we just argued and--

FW: I know. I'd give just about anything to argue with my brother again.

SD-M: ...

FW: ...

SD-M: Okay, point taken. I'll think about it.

FW: He does miss you and he does care.

SD-M: Okay. So does yours.

FW: We'll see........Okay..um, that's it. Thanks for listening.

They both stand and Samantha walks Fire to the door.

SD-M: Don't worry...Moose will be fine, and once he's done being mad....well.....okay, I know how you guys hold grudges, but .... it'll be fine.

FW: Thanks.

SD-M: And I'll talk to Davin too. He's mad and feeling betrayed.

FW: He WAS betrayed. I betrayed him, and you.

SD-M: Technically just him. There's no love lost between us. And you did it with a little chemical and psychological help from the asshole my husband currently thinks he can help. Trust me, I have lots to talk to him about on this issue, and I can remind him of his own history with such things and how much forgiveness HE'S been given.

FW: Okay...thanks. It'd be nice to have one of my blood relatives at least talking to me.

Firewoman leaves, fumbling for another cigarette as she walks out. Samantha shuts the door and looks all thoughtful and stuff.

[BookerShark]

Back to the office.

Eco: Since you asked, let me first tell you what I want, and then we'll move into what I'm offering. Fine?

Stank: Go for it.

Eco: I want a New Normal, Lucas. My beautiful portraits...(Eco gets up and strokes the freshly dried paint)...are antagonizing to many, sure, but they're not threatening. I have no interest in being a threatening villain any more Lucas, and I doubt I could signal that any more clearly. My symbol is not a boot stomping on a human face forever; all I want is a tiny pedestal, lifting me a little bit higher than all the rest forever...not high enough to be a god, but high enough to be safe.

Stank: Let's try again, and only once more. That's not "what you want from me."

Eco: Fine, I'll be clearer. What I want from you is, first and foremost, an ironclad commitment to not support a war against me. I don't care if it's Drink and Destroy, Firewoman, LD Williams. You can be their buddies all they want, but you do not lift a hand against my administration.

Stank: So no going after the President.

Eco: Under the same rules as now. You can beat me or him up in the ring, and I don't care. I'm concerned with challenges to the structure, not sticks and stones.

The second thing I want is a positive public face for this organization. Our public relations are in the pits, and after my prior actions, I do nothing in the short-term to reassure shareholders.

Stank: Oh really?

Eco: Don't be cute, Lucas. Point is, I need you to be my Cena. Whether you're champ or not, I need you making press appearances, via-satellite interviews, twitter responses to fans, every single day.

Stank: What else is there?

Eco: What do you mean?

Stank: Sure, I might want to raise a hand against your administration..or a fist or two...but it doesn't take effort not to. Where's the big ask?

Eco: The "big ask" is part and parcel of the first. Calm LD and DVD down. Let Firewoman, Alexander and even Tytan know that attempting revenge--beyond occasional pettiness, and even that can drop--would be counterproductive on my part, and that the shoe isn't dropping.

Mind you, I'm not judging you for success on this score. But I want to see an honest attempt.

Stank: All right. And what are you offering back? You're in a weak position, Juni, much as you might want to deny it. I'm not sure you can offer me anything that strong.

Eco: What do you think of the title "Head Corporate Liaison to Individual and Collective Contractual Negotiation"?

Stank: I think it's too long and I don't know what it means.

Eco: I want to delegate out my powers over contracts to you. You would become the one to negotiate and renew OOWF contracts with the talent. I may not be able to fire you, Lucas, but if I was to fire any of your friends with "records"--even if my regime was brief--things might become very difficult for them.

You want Moosehead Jack back? I'll revoke the suspension, but you choose the terms and pay scale. Want to hand LD Williams a nice shiny "Legends" contract? Create the template and it's his. Even at the height of the Five, it's a power you never had.

Stank: So you're handing me contracts for the company in exchange for my allegiance.

Eco: That's not quite it...

Stank: What's the catch?

Eco: No catch, I'm just prepared to offer you more. You want a chance to reign me in, right? Here's your chance: Three Vetoes A Month. You don't get to make corporate policy, book the cards, decide suspensions and releases--but if you don't like the decision I'm making, you can drop a veto, and I'll have to change my plans.

Stank: What if you do more than three insane things a month?

Eco: (smirks) Mr. Mann, if I go on a total power trip, I will be deposed. The opportunity cost will be lowered, since people would rather be fired than work for me at my most insane. I understand that.

But the edge cases--one firing, one backstage policy, one title unfairly awarded to myself--those don't spark rebellions. You'll get the chance to shoot those right out of the sky, keep your company on the track you want, and be the big hero--without erasing anyone's memory of what I tried to pull off.

Don't be a fool, Lucas. Don't be consumed by who the messenger is here. I am directly offering you more power and control than you've ever had in this company, more than Rick or anyone else would have or will ever offer you, at the moment you hold its highest title. This is a one-time opportunity.

What do you say?

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is relaxing in the Darling Suites, wearing some plane grey sweats and one of Alex's shirts. She's flipping through some contracts or something. She gets up, pours herself a Jameson, and brings the bottle and the glass over to the sofa, with the papers. She flops down on the couch, and grabs the remote to watch some TV with the paper work. She's not paying attention and then suddenly she hears something familiar and looks up at the screen to see...this....



She watches the whole show, kind of stunned. About half way through, Alexander comes in and sits down.

FW: Did I know about this?

AD: I think it was announced while you were in Trinity, so uh...probably not.

FW: Oh....

They finish watching the show.

AD: Well, that was something.

FW: It was.

AD: So...

FW: Never have I been so glad to have gotten so drunk last year.

[BookerShark]

The camera comes on in the courtroom. We see Psykle, obviously uncomfortable in the shackles and orange jumpsuit, with OOWF Legal Counsel Josef Cohen sitting next to him. At the other table, the random camera guy that Psykle threw into the building is sitting, still in the wheelchair, with a neck brace on and both his legs in casts. His lawyer is sitting with him. The bailiff enters the room.

Bailiff: All rise. The honorable Judge Harold T. Stone presiding.

Judge Harold T. Stone walks in and takes a seat at the bench. He begins going through the file for this case.

Harry: Be seated. We’re here today for the case of Roberto C. Guittierez vs. “Psykle”…”Psykle” really? We don’t have your real name on file?

JC: My client had it legally changed 17 years ago.

Harry: OK, someone takes his job a little too seriously…moving on. Psykle you are being sued for six and a half billion dollars…wait? Are you serious? Six and a half BILLION dollars for pain, suffering, loss of work, loss of livelihood, mental distress, and medical bills?

Lawyer: That’s right, my client was launched like a lawn dart into the side of a building, and has been unable to work, has gone through immense pain and suffering, and has a significant amount of medical bills to cover.

Harry: I see. Is there any proof of this alleged attack?

Lawyer: It was all caught on camera by my clients own camera and aired on OOWF TV. I have the tape right here. I’d like to enter it as exhibit A.

The lawyer hands the tape to the bailiff who pops it into the VCR (seriously? Who uses a VCR anymore? Or tapes for that matter!). The TV plays the tape of Psykle gorilla pressing RCG and throwing him into the side of the building.

Harry: Well, that’s pretty damning evidence right there. Mr. Cohen, do you have anything to say in your client’s defense?

JC: Actually, your honor, my client has asked me to remain silent and not say anything beyond what is directly asked of me.

Harry: Really? Well, Psykle, why did you even bother having him show up then?

Psykle stands up and clears his throat, preparing to explain and give his own defense.

Psykle: “A man who represents himself, has a fool for a client.”

Harry: *chuckles* Amusing. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Psykle sits down, apparently with nothing further to say.

Harry: Well, I am sorry to say this, but if you are found guilty, in addition to the six and a half billion dollars Mr. Guittierez is asking for, you’re also going to have to go to jail for quite some time.

RCG: Yea! And then you’ll miss your big title shot! (sarcastically) Boo-hoo!

Harry: Mr. Guittierez, you will remain silent in my courtroom unless you are addressed directly, is that understood?

RCG: Sor....

Lawyer: (cutting RCG off) My apologies your honor, it won’t happen again. However, before you pass judgment, I have a witness to the event to call to the stands.

Harry: Go ahead.

Lawyer: I call Sandra Fawn Janetty the 13th to the stand.

SFJ13 walks in and heads toward the stand. As she passes Psykle she mouths “I’m sorry” to him, and we can tell that it really pains her to be here.

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?

SFJ13: I do.

Lawyer: Miss Janetty, you were present when the defendant attacked my client, is that correct?

SFJ13: Yes.

Lawyer: Did my client provoke Psykle in any way shape or form?

SFJ13: Well, you see…

Lawyer: A simple yes or no will suffice, Miss Janetty.

SFJ13: No.

Lawyer: And can you think of a reason, ANY reason at all, why it would have been OK for Psykle to attack my client? Remember, just a simple yes or no answer, please.

SFJ13: No.

Lawyer: Now, in your own words, tell us…

A cell phone ringer version of “Riot” by Three Days Grace is heard.

Harry: OK, who’s cell phone is that?

Everyone looks at each other stupefied, until they all realize it is coming from SFJ13. They all stare at her.

SFJ13: It’s not mine! My cell phone ringtone is “Pop! Goes My Heart” from the movie Music & Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore!

Psykle: It’s my phone.

SFJ13: OH! I forgot I still have that!

SFJ13 reaches into her purse and takes out Psykle’s cell phone. It’s ringing as predicted.

SFJ13: OH! It’s I…I mean, it’s your Mentor!

Psykle: Yea, that’s his ringtone.

Harry: Give the phone here.

SFJ13 hands the cell phone to Harry, who answers it.

Harry: Who is this?

Harry listens, and his eyes go wide in shock at who is on the other end of the phone.

Harry: I’m sorry, sir. Please, forgive me. Who did you want to speak to?

Harry listens, nodding his head.

Harry: Yes sir, right away.

Harry puts his hand over the mic on the cell phone.

Harry: Mr. Guittierez, he wants to talk to you.

RCG: Who is it?

Harry: He told me not to say his name where it would be picked up on the microphones. Bailiff, give Mr. Guittierez the phone please, and hurry!

The bailiff takes the phone and gives it to RCG.

RCG: Hello? Who the hell is this?

RCG listens, and his jaw drops as he hears who is on the other end.

RCG: I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t realize.

RCG listens more, and his eyes light up.

RCG: Seven point two BILLION? Right away sir! Thank you sir!

RCG hangs up the phone and hands it to the bailiff.

RCG: Your honor, I’d like to drop all charges.

Lawyer: You can’t do that! This case is going to make my career! There are also the criminal charges that the state has on this!

RCG jumps up out of the wheelchair and grabs the lawyer by the lapels.

RCG: Shut up man! We’ve got this! We both knew we’d never get the six and a half billion, but he just offered me SEVEN POINT TWO BILLION DOLLARS to drop it!

Harry: Mr. Guittierez? Can I ask you a question?

RCG: What?

Harry: How are your legs?

RCG looks puzzled for a minute, then looks down, realizes he is standing, revealing his injuries to be fake, and quickly drops back into his wheelchair.

Harry: Well, considering this latest development, I think it doesn’t matter whether you drop the charges or not, as it’s obvious that Mr. Guittierez was making a mockery of our legal system and trying to get himself some money for nothing…

SFJ13: (singing) …and your chicks for free! I LOVE that song!

Harry: *ahem* As I was saying…since Mr. Guittierez is obviously not injured, I am not giving him the option to drop the charges, as I am dismissing all charges against Psykle.

RCG: But if I don’t DROP the charges, I don’t get the seven point two billion dollars!

Harry: IN ADDITION, while normally I would just charge you fifty dollars plus time served, in this case I am fining Mr. Guittierez sixty-two THOUSAND dollars in court fees, for wasting all of our time, and having us wrongfully arrest Psykle in the first place.

RCG: Sixty-two THOUSAND? That’s THREE years pay for me!

Harry: Case dismissed!

Harry bangs his gavel, rises and leaves the room. The bailiff walks over to Psykle and unlocks his restraints. SFJ13 comes running over to Psykle and jumps up and hugs him. She quickly realizes she stepped over a line and lets go, dropping back to the ground and looking at her feet, very shyly.

SFJ13: Sorry…

Psykle puts his hand under her chin and tips her head up to look her in the eyes.

Psykle: It’s ok.

They share a moment, before SFJ13 suddenly snaps out of it.

SFJ13: OH! We have to get to Ecuador for your match, fast!

Psykle: I’ve got it covered.

SFJ13: We can’t ride your bike all the way there!

Psykle: I should say, my mentor has it covered. We’ll just be riding to the airport. The jet is ready and waiting for us.

Fade to black.

[BookerShark]

The scene comes up and we see Comrade Sharkov walking down the hall with DVD and DDT steps behind him. They turn a corner and see the mohawked form of Justin Sane walking down the hall with Chad and Zane behind him. All six men stop moving forward and a silence fills the room. The camera zooms in on a close up of Sharkov. Then it zooms in on Justin.

Justin: YOU
HAVE
MY
BELT!

Sharkov: You want it Amerikan, come and get it.

Justin: (Motioning to the Texpress) Let's get em guys!

Sharkov: (Motioning to DDT and DVD) Forward Comrades!

Sharkov and Justin rush at each other and begin......grappling? Yeah let's call it that. As this goes on, DVD, DDT and the Texans meet behind them.

DVD: So, do you have any clue what is happening here?

Chad: No clue. Justin just asked us if we wanted to get some lunch at Flairs Sandwich shop. You?

DDT shrugs and motions carrying something heavy.

DVD: Yeah, we are just restocking the bar. He came out of nowhere and just started walking with us. However a Sandwich God Special does sound good right about now. Mind If I join you?

Chad: Not at all. Let's go.

Zane: Actually, I'm going to help Danny with the kegs, its a good conditioning exercise.

Chad: Suit yourself.

With that Chad and DVD exit stage left as Zane and DDT exit stage right. Suddenly both Comrade Sharkov and Justin Sane turn towards where they expect their "allies" to be.

Justin: Quick I need a weapon, but not a ~LADDER~

Sharkov: Comrades, where is my hammer?

Both men pause looking around realising that they are now alone in the hall. Silence fills the air, only the sound of cricket can be heard. Both men shrug.

Justin: This isn't over, I want my belt.

Sharkov: Another time puny Amerikan.

With that both men wander off to wherever secondary characters go when they aren't needed.

FADE

[BookerShark]

There's a knock on the Flyin' Hawai'ians' locker room. Noelani opens the door to see...

DVD.

She slams the door, but DVD uses his foot to keep it from closing. He swears under his breath in pain, but opens the door. He's immediately cut off by Aina.

A: You don't wanna be here, brah.

DVD: I am here to merely talk. No trouble, I promise. I did not bring any of Drink & Destroy with me.

Noelani pushes Aina aside.

N: Fine, you got five minutes. Aina, go find Kai. He shouldn't be wandering alone.

A: I'm not leaving you here with him alone.

N: I got this. I'm sure Vic doesn't want another broken nose.

Aina glares at DVD, but leaves the room. Noelani walks over to the mini fridge and opens a bottle of wine. She pours two glasses and hands one to DVD.

DVD: It's not poisoned is it?

N: I figure you'd be more likely to poison me than the other way around.

DVD: Touche.

DVD takes the glass and takes a sip. Noelani gulps down half the glass.

DVD: So...

N: Just spit it out, Vic. Clock's ticking.

DVD: I will never forget your betrayal. I doubt I'll ever be able to trust you. But we should put the past behind us. Let bygones be bygones.

N: Awfully big of you. But why?

DVD: There are bigger threats at the moment.

N: And you speak of?

DVD: Ecosystem as the new General Manager. The President as the Commissioner. The Brass Knuckle Kings as Tag Team Champions, not to mention their two allies in SUPREME.

N: The Brass Knuckle Kings should be worried about us. The have my boys' belts. But as for now, I have no issues with any of the others you mentioned. My boys would be foolish to get involved in any politics here.

DVD: It may be unavoidable. Eco's... unstable.

N: Until he gives me or my boys a problem, I have no issues with Eco. Starting issues would be career suicide right now.

DVD: Perhaps I should speak to "your boys" then.

Noelani eyes DVD.

N: I see what you're doing.

DVD: I really have no alterior motive. Believe me.

N: Like you'd believe me?

DVD: Just think about it. Before it's too late.

Noelani seems to reflect on all that has been said.

N: I'll take it into consideration.

DVD holds up his glass for a toast. Noelani is hesitant, but clangs glasses.

N: Your time's up.

DVD: I'll see myself out.

Noelani gulps down the rest of her wine as he leaves.

[BookerShark]

*Back in the GM's office. Stank sits in front of Eco's desk.*

Stank - Okay... I'll do it.

GM theEco - Excellent.

Stank - I have two conditions.

GM theEco - Name them.

*Stank looks at Ecosystems Intercontinental title mounted on a stand near his desk.*

Stank - You're quite fond of that belt.

GM theEco - As I'm sure you are yours.

Stank - I earned my belt.

GM theEco - I would argue I earned mine, but I think I know where you're going with this. I don't know if you were paying attention earlier, but I've already scheduled a match with Stan Fulton so that when I beat him there will be no more excuses.

Stank - That's all fine and good... but Folz is the one who was wronged here.

GM theEco - You would speak on Folz's behalf?

Stank - It might make the job you're asking of me easier.

GM theEco - What do you suggest?

Stank - I would ask you to simply surrender the title back to Folz and let Crusher and he fight it out, but I know you would never go for that. So add Folz to your match for the IC title and let the cards fall where they may.

*Ecosystem continues to lean forward on his desk staring at Stank.*

GM theEco - You mentioned a second condition?

Stank - What happened on the plane ride over was unacceptable.

GM theEco - I assume you mean what happened to Firewoman and not to me.

Stank - No way should the The President hold any sort of office in your administration after that.

GM theEco - He has been reprimanded and fined. What more do you want me to do?

Stank - More.

GM theEco - I'm not firing him.

Stank - Not exactly what I'm suggesting.

GM theEco - Then what?

Stank - Make Firewoman's match with him no disqualification.

*Ecosystem smiles broadly at this suggestion.*

GM theEco - You think you're doing her a favor by requesting this?

Stank - No. I think I'm doing her a favor by asking you to make that match for the commissionership of the OOWF.

*Ecosystem's smile fades a little.*

Stank - When Firewoman wins she becomes the commissioner. You put those stipulations in her match and that shows me how serious you are about the offer you've made me. I'd ask for it to be a cage match to insure no outside interference, but I understand the logistics of that may not be doable by Wednesday. Anyway you do this for me... and you and I have a deal.

GM theEco -

Stank - Don't be a fool, Juni. You think about it. I'm not really asking for much.

*Ecosystem leans back in his chair and thinks.*

Stank - Oh yeah... and absolutely we're hiring Moose back.

Fade

[BookerShark]

We're in a dark, dank warehouse somewhere. Water's dripping audibly. The camera pans around the warehouse, searching for any movement. We hear chains rattling. Finally, we see Moose being held up by chains attached to his wrists. Moose is moving, but doesn't seem to be conscious.

A raven flies through an open window. The camera follows it until it lands on top of a pile of pallets. The raven is not alone, as we see A'isha al-Takriti perched atop the pile. She has HDB2 in her hands and seems to be studying it.

Aa-T: Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Who's afraid of the Happy Deth Bat?

A'isha grins. She then looks at Cain, her pet raven.

Aa-T: He's gonna be awake soon. Then we can play.

A'isha begins to smash the pallet she's sitting on with HDB2. She laughs and then looks at it again.

Aa-T: C'mon, Ket. Wakey wakey!

[BookerShark]

Hallway, the Arena, Portoviejo, Ecuador

The President is in his wheelchair, rolling out away from General Manager Ecosystem's office, when Sexy Nurse rushes up to him.

SN: Finally! You weren't supposed to leave the hospital, you know, you require minute-to-minute care.

TP: I know dear, I know, but this is important. That ceremony on Wednesday marks the beginning of a new era here in the OOWF. It's important every detail gets finalized and that everything that can be done to make that event better, gets done.

Sexy Nurse begins pushing the wheelchair, directing him around and towards the back entrance.

SN: We have the ambulance waiting, so we'll just take you back and you can rest. You know you won't be here Wednesday.

TP *Smiling*: Oh yes I will. That ceremony is the most important thing to happen to this company since it was founded. *There's a small pause.* And I will be in that ring competing against Firewoman too.

SN: You can't! You are in no-

TP: The doctors can't stop me from being there, what makes you think you can keep me from being there? Aside from your very ample charms.

SN: ....

TP *Staring Off Into the Distance*: No, I need to be there. I must be there in the ring against Firewoman. You'll see why...as will the OOWF. Make sure they have people sent to my hospital room tomorrow, get my official promo for this thing done. And make sure Nicole gets those Ecosystem-faced balloons and fake money ready for the celebration! Damn that woman for disappearing on me like this....

FADE

[BookerShark]

Ecosystem meets the President outside in his wheelchair.

Eco: Thank you for being understanding back there, Mr. President.

President: Of course. Some things must be handled more delicately than others, and some fools must be suffered longer than others. In more positive news, I have developed a more efficient means of balloon delivery.



Eco: I...I don't know what to say. It's beautiful.

President: It's the least I could do, after the most recent commissioned portrait came back...below standard.

Eco: How so?

President: Sexy Nurse?

Sexy Nurse holds up a portrait of Eco's face projected onto the Virgin Mary.

Eco: Well...that crosses a couple lines, doesn't it?

President: I figured you'd say that as a Catholic.

Eco: What were my specifications anyway?

President: "Present me as the highest, most glorified instrument of the divine."

Eco: Oh. I guess that was also over the top.

President: Never fair, I got a quick redesign.



Eco: Perfect. Now, in other news, Mr. Mann is insisting, as a condition for his acceptance of the role of Corporate Champion, that your match with Firewoman is made No Disqualification but No Interference, and puts the Commissionership at stake. I think it's too much, and I'm likely to turn it down. We may just go to Plan B and try to launch you up there.

President: Well, as much as I would like to be placed into the World Title picture sooner rather than later, there may be ways around that stipulation, even if I win.

Eco: How so?

President: Roll with me, friend.

The President rolls off with Eco, leaving the Sexy Nurse with the portraits.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is sitting in Ric's Sandwich Shop, over in the corner, drinking her morning coffee, and being amazed that we didn't get to five pages last night, despite everyone's best intentions to do so. Some of the production staff nods at her in greeting, and she nods back, but she's still mostly isolate from the in ring talent. But this morning she doesn't seem to mind, and sips her coffee, staring out at the rain, when a large shadow falls over her.

Stank: Not like you to sit with your back to the door.

FW: *sips her coffee* I'm trying to be a more trusting person.

S: Uh-huh. And how's that working out for you.

Firewoman shrugs as Stank sits down

FW: So um..........how's your knee.

S: It's getting there. You and your stupid exercise addiction. I can't sleep past 5am now, so I get up and walk instead of jog, They think that's why it's healing.

FW: Good....I'm sorry......

S: I know. It's over, remember?

FW: Right....

awkward silence

S: Caught some of Dancing With the Stars last night. Wanted to see if you were doing okay.

FW: Huh?

S: *laughing* All that could have been yours, baby!

Fire hesitates at first...then starts to laugh along with him.

S: Your boy had some moves there.

FW: Yeah well... no, he looked good. I'm okay.

S: Really?

FW: With that? Yeah.

S: And everything else?

FW: It's......

S: Because.... I don't know if you saw OOWF TV last night....I did something.

FW: No, I was ...busy.

S: Heh...good for you. Anyway, your former Sensei *Firewoman stiffens when she hears the name* has asked me to be a part of his new regime.

FW: Uh huh.

S: Yeah. He wants me to be his "Cena," as he calls it. Basically I think he wants me to keep the locker room from killing him.

FW: Think you could do that?

S: I think even at about 50 percent there's not a person alive who could keep you from doing what you REALLY wanted to do. Including me. And you're not the only one around here like that. But, Fire....I'm kind of thinking about it.

FW: *looks down, and it's hard to tell if she's sad or angry* Well, you do what you need to do, Lucas.

S: Fire...

FW: No, go ahead. Moose did...Davin is...There were three of us in Trinity, and while I was the one that got bloody he was the one pulling the strings. But now he's everyone's best friends, and I'm the pariah. Whatever.

Fire starts to stand up.

S: Sit down, woman.

Fire slowly sinks back down into her seat.

S: As I was saying...I was thinking about it...with conditions....

FW: Conditions?

S: Well, the one that concerns you directly....

FW: Uh oh...Lucas...what have you done.

S: I wanted to make your match with The Pres No Disqualification and No Interference. You get free reign, and despite this whole 'new leaf' thing, I can't even begin to imagine what kinds of things have been running through that sadistic mind of yours all week while you've been trying to behave that you'll do to him.

FW: I would do them anyway, even without the stip.

S: I know....Now you can actually win the match by doing it.

FW: Okay...thanks. Not sure why you made such a big deal about--

S: And the other thing...you win, you get his job.

FW: Huh?

S: Eco hasn't necessarily agreed to that part yet...I wanted it to be a cage match too, but I'm not sure the stuff will get here in time....

FW: Commissioner?

S: Yeah...what do you think?

FW: I think.....I think I don't even know what a commissioner does.

S: All this time in the business and you don't know?

FW: I don't pay attention to that shit, Lucas. I make people bleed, I cash my check.

S: Right...anyway...

FW: Besides *she gets quieter* That puts me........I'd be Eco's second in command....again.....I don't know, Lucas.......that's too familiar territory for me......

S: Oh....yeah....I wasn't....I wasn't thinking about that.

Firewoman finishes her coffee and stands to walk out. Stank follows her.

S: Look, Fire, I think you could handle it this time...You know who he is now, and--

FW: That's just the trap though Lucas, with people like him. You think you know...you think you can handle it...and then they change, just enough...just slightly.....almost without you noticing. And then it's too late.

S: But Fire...this time....You wouldn't be alone.

Firewoman looks at Stank, and something unspoken passes between them.

FW: I'll think about it, Lucas....

S: Okay....He may not okay it anyway.

FW: Thanks...though.....Hey...um...wanna come with me?

S: You're not running are you?

FW: *smiles* no...Found a place that rents motorcycles. I'm going to find the curviest mountain road I can, and clear my head.

S: They rent helmets?

FW: It's fucking Ecuador, Stank. Of course they don't.

S: It's raining.

FW: Yep...all day probably.

S: I'll pass....you be careful.

FW: *smiling* Of course!!

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Stank turns and walks back toward catering where he finds LD Williams grabbing a cup of coffee.*

LDW - Well well if it isn't the corporate champ.

Stank - It's just a title doesn't mean I've sold out.

LDW - MMM Hmm

Stank - Besides Muyo-san hasn't agreed, yet.

LDW - And if he does...? Do you actually think you could prevent the roster from revolting?

Stank - No. But all he wants me to do is try and in return I get to keep him honest.

LDW - And who keeps you honest?

Stank -

LDW - I'm just playing devil's advocate.

Stank - I don't have an answer for that LD. It's a fair question. I am prone to irrationality at times. I suppose I'd have to rely on you to call me out on any bullshit.

LDW - Look. When we formed The Five we knew it would piss a lot of people off. We had a mission to blow up the OOWF and play. That was just last year. People see you in this position and they're going to wonder. Whose side are you on?

Stank - Then they're asking the wrong question. What they need to ask is can I continue to work under Ecosystem the same way I have since I joined this Fed? There needs to be a balance of power at the top. The board is only interested in money... not necessarily what's in our best interest. That's why they allowed the war to happen even though it damn near ended the OOWF. We can't rely on them for that balance. Ecosystem and The President? A deposed cult leader and a fucking rookie? If I get the position I can make sure everything is on the up and up.

LDW - As you see it.

Stank - Sure. Why not? We can take a poll. Whose judgement do you trust more.

LDW - Well clearly I would trust you over Juni... but there are a lot of people who would not like any of the above.

Stank -

LDW - Especially anyone in the World Title picture.

Stank - Now hold on a second. I wouldn't have the book. I wouldn't be able to make matches or stips. The only way I can defend my World Championship is by beating my opponents in the ring.

LDW - Yeah... and let's say Alexander Darling or Davin beats you for the title? Eco is talking about giving you power over their contracts.

Stank - I wouldn't fuck with their contracts just because I lost a match.

LDW - Really?

Stank - Really. I'm not saying I'm above pettiness, but I would keep it in the ring or maybe if I'm so inclined a backstage attack or two, but to mess with someone's career by politics and paperwork...? That's quite frankly not in my makeup. It would be too impersonal anyway. If I'm going to fuck up your career I'll cripple you in the ring. I'll bury you with promos... I'm not going to undercut you in contract negotiations.

LDW - Not even if Eco ordered you to?

Stank - He can't. And if he tried he could go fuck himself. Listen I'm not perfect and I'm sure there will be disagreement with a choice I make here or there... but I think I could convince the roster that I have better intentions at heart for them than Ecosystem or The President. And then maybe I could convince them with me working with the GM, a war against him won't be necessary. Save that shit for the ring and against BKK or The Darlings or Crusher, Texpress, or ME even. I can keep Juni in check and I can compete in the ring. I think this is the best option for all involved. Would they rather see ME as corporate champion or The President?

LDW - You sound pretty full of yourself.

Stank - Have we not met?

LDW - So this is the lay of the land?

Stank - It isn't anything, yet. Let's see if the GM agrees to my terms.

LDW - You sure you know what you're doing with that? I mean... Firewoman as commissioner? Aren't you concerened with putting her that close to Juni?

Stank - It's like I told her... she wouldn't be alone this time. I only asked for that stip because I didn't think beating The President would be enough. Winning the match wouldn't be enough. Taking his position in Eco's administration...? That would be a start. I could have said just put me in a match with Prez and let me beat the shit out of him and take his job... but I felt like that would be robbing Fire of the opportunity... I don't know. Given her reaction maybe I'll drop that condition and just stick with the one where he puts Folz in the IC title match with him and Crusher.

LDW - And hiring Moose back.

Stank - Well actually Eco offered that. I just agreed it should happen.

LDW - Have you heard from him.

Stank - Moose? Not since Sao Paolo.

LDW - Have you been watching OOWFtv?

Stank - Hmmph I've been busy.

LDW - We should probably give Poe a call.

Stank - Poe? What's going on?

LDW - I'll fill you in.

FADE

[BookerShark]

CUT to somewhere in Portoviejo. Firewoman is negotiating with the local who's renting motorcycles when Stan Fulton rides up. He's riding this:

wearing goggles and a smallish helmet.

SF: "Fire."

FW: "Fulton. Didn't know you rode."

SF: "Don't usually get a chance."

FW: "Harley, huh?"

SF: "It's not called a Fatboy for nothing."

Fire almost cracks a smile.

SF: (to the proprietor as he throws him the keys) "Uh... Gracias por el paseo."

FW: "Spanish too?"

SF: "I memorize a few phrases at every stop. Just enough to get what I need."

Fulton removes his helmet and goggles and shakes the water off of himself.

SF: "Enjoy the ride. If you're heading north, be careful about three miles out. There's a cattleherder moving his cows across the road. I almost "mosh pitted" myself over the top of them."

FW: "Thanks. See you later."

SF: "Sure. I'd offer you my helmet, but I doubt you use one."

FW: "True, but even for me your's is pretty small."

SF: "It's more of a statement anyway. Anyone who'd wear a helmet like this with a noggin like mine either is crazy or is too funny to try and start something over his bike.

"See you back at the arena."

Fulton starts walking back towards the downtown area while Firewoman goes back to haggling as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

Moosehead Jack is still unconscious as he hangs from the chains in the warehouse. Suddenly water splashes on his face, reviving him. He looks into the eyes of A'isha.


MHJ: Do you want me to kill you?

Aa-T: I've done nothing to you.

MHJ: You hit me. You kidnapped me.

Aa-T: Wah-wah, nothing you haven't done to others in the past.

MHJ: Never thought you of all people would be the conscience police.

Aa-T: Oh, I'm not. Just the opposite, actually.

A'isha turns around to get something.

MHJ: You know, Lisa's always hated you. She's gonna come aft...

A'isha turns around with HDB2. She runs part if it through her hair; small cuts starting to bleed and run down her face.

Aa-T: The feeling is mutual. Trust me.

MHJ: You really don't wanna do this.

A'isha walks slowly towards Moose, waving HDB2 like a toy.

Aa-T: You told me your sister was dead?

MHJ: You know what I meant.

Aa-T: Sadly, yes I do. So what shouldn't I be doing?

MHJ: Whatever it is you're planning in that twisted brain of yours.

A'isha looks puzzled.

Aa-T: I shouldn't let you go or let you have a beer?

MHJ: That's right, you shouldn't...wait. What?

A'isha laughs. She grabs some keys off a table and unlocks the chains around Moose's hands.

Aa-T: Silly Ket. Olly olly oxen free!!

Moose immediately tackles her, grabbing HDB2 and stands over her, holding her down with his foot and holding HDB2 in front of her face. A'isha only laughs again.

Aa-T: I've missed you too! Oh, by the way, Selena says hi.

Moose seems to be debating what to do with A'isha.

Aa-T: C'mon, Ket. Did you really think I was gonna torture my favorite uncle?

MHJ: I'm not your uncle.

Aa-T: Whatever, let me up.

Moose considers his options and then takes his foot off A'isha and extends a hand to help her up.

MHJ: You have some explaining to do.

A'isha takes his hand, stands up, then heads to a mini fridge, opening it, and grabbing two Tiger beers. She pops them both open and hands one to Moose.

Aa-T: I "kidnapped" you because you were wandering around aimlessly. Lost. Like a little boy who lost his mommy.

MHJ: I got fired.

Aa-T: And?

Moose says nothing, just drinks his beer.

Aa-T: The Uncle Ket I remember would have left GMtheRick in traction once he was fired. You've gone soft, old man.

Moose nearly chokes on his beer.

MHJ: ME?!??! SOFT?!?!?!

Aa-T: Oh, please. You gave up the World Title for your so-called friend. You pine away over the death of the Five. You whine about Alexander Darling being alive. Well, that one, I can't blame you for.

MHJ: So what do YOU think I should do.

Aa-T: The Five's dead. Get over it. Be selfish. You think Father got to where he was by worrying about his friends?

MHJ: I'm fired, remember?

Aa-T: So? Eco owes you.

MHJ: He does?

Aa-T: Well, convince him he does. He did "kill" your sister after all. Plus you two seemed chummy.

MHJ: You just said to not cater to my friends.

Aa-T: Ew, Eco's your friend? I think he kinda liked me. Anyway, use them to your advantage. Pops might even be able to pull some strings. My point is, it doesn't matter how you get back. You'll get back. You're a draw. I just wonder what you'll do once you get back.

MHJ: What do you suggest.

Aa-T: Destroy them all. Friends. Allies. Enemies. Doormats. All of them. Take what's yours.

MHJ: And what is mine?

Aa-T: Whatever you want.

Moose drinks his beer as he lets what A'isha said soak in.

MHJ: You are definitely Poe's daughter.

Aa-T: Takes a village.

A'isha and Moose clang bottles and drink.

MHJ: You need a towel.

[BookerShark]

(Tytan is outside the arena and walking.)

Tytan: Once again how quickly the scene changes. It seems that Stank is going to be "Cenafied". We will just have to see how that plays out. But Eco it seems you are finally getting your court. Congrats brother! The cards will fall where they may, once that is done then the we will see. The the possibility of Firewoman as the new GM. Something smells funny, I don't like it.

The thing is there is a plan....something is brewing. Soon things will change and then it begins.

(Laughs)

It will all come sooner then later.
The Kingdom will fall,
and the truth will all be reveled.

(FADE)

[BookerShark]

*Starfire Huckabee and Carl from Fresno are competing at a local OOWF House show in an epic Cheeseburger on a Pole match that has left both men bloody and beaten, much to the delight of the Ecuadorian crowd. Of course, Carl has more Will To Eat than poor Starfire, and Carl is able to grab the cheeseburger to end the match. He devours it within seconds. The crowd is on their feet in appreciation for the match, and both men do some acknowledging before limping to the back. The ring crew has just finished cleaning up when the house lights (such as they are) go out, and on the mini-jumbotron by the entrance ramp, we see a new video firing up. It's clear immediately who it's for, as it's Davin beating lots of different people up to this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD5G8T2ESsw - highlighted by the "Too fat, fat you must cut lean" section of the song, quick pictures of Stan Fulton and Moosehead Jack followed by an emaciated-looking Alexis Darling. The crowd tries their best not to laugh because Davin is JERK~!, but the lights come back on and Davin and Samantha (who looks just killer in a little black dealie) make their way down WITH MICS~! Halfhearted boos rain down, but both Davin and Samantha are flashing wide smiles as it's time for Davin to do what he does best. Talk. About himself.*

DM: Howdy Ecuador.

*More halfhearted booing, combined with a cheap pop*

DM: So, for once, Davin stays pretty quiet as the events around him unfold. Whaddya think? Good strategy?

*More mixed reaction*

SDM: Yeah, I don't think they're buying it, honey. Also, hi everyone.

*Samantha gets a genuine pop, because she's a girl, probably*

DM: That's right, it was decided that there's only so much protecting that needs to be done here. So Samantha's back, which makes Davin happy. And a happy Davin is a dangerous thing to the OOWF.

SDM: Ok, first, how can you be happy after what Evans did?

DM: I'm happy because I finally get to do to Evans what I've been wanting to do for months now. Son, I brought you up the card, and I can bury you back down it. I've warned you. I've suggested. I've used every possible means at my disposal to get the message across to you. And even STILL, you don't get it. I mean, plus 5 points for joining up with a pro like Eric, minus several million points for joining up with Bryce McBotchalot - who was supposed to be your sworn enemy, by the way, and FuckThatGuy, who is someone who can't hold even YOUR jock, Evans. You really think my friend Eric is looking out for YOUR best interest? Are you new here, fucko? Eric's going to do what Eric's going to do. I can't even imagine this is all his idea. Sammy, honey, can we send him a fruit basket? Pineapples. He loves the pineapples.

SDM: *pushes a few buttons on her smartphone* Done, sweetie.

DM: Good. So, while everyone else seems to lose their mind every time someone turns on them - Davin Moreland stands here before you, not mad. Not even a little. Hell, this is wrestling, right? Whether it's 2 weeks or 2 years, nothing lasts forever.

SDM: Except us, baby.

DM: Yeah, except that. And probably Sparxx and Jewel too. You know Sparky, now that you're making a decent paycheck, you might want to make an honest woman out of Jewel, there.

SDM: Davin, it's not right to pressure them.

DM: I know. I'm just saying. My point is, these things happen. Now am I going to sit in the back and go "Oh woe is fucking me" like SOME people?

SDM: Gee, wonder who you're talking about?

DM: Well, I don't want to come right out and say it, but suffice it to say his name rhymes with "Alexander Darling".

*Crowd gets a chuckle out of that*

SDM: Nice, honey.

DM: Also, let the record reflect that GFY was far more successful than Unforgiven (lou: Unforgiven) ever dreamed of being.

SDM: I don't even think Alex would argue that at this point.

DM: So yet again, I win, I prove I'm the better man - on to the next mountain to climb.

SDM: Don't you get bored, honey?

DM: Bored? With what?

SDM: By being so damned awesome? By having to find your own challenges over and over while people with half your talent get the stage to put themselves over?

DM: See sweetie, that's the best part about being the Greatest of All-Time. I don't have to prove a damn thing to anyone. All I do day after day is pad my legacy. I mean, hell, at this point I'm going to be remembered not only as a great wrestler, but as a guy who makes careers. Who puts the kids over. So not only am I the best to ever walk through the curtain, but I give back that which was so freely given to me. I do things the right way. The old school way. The way things were always done before the advent of the Horsemen and the Kliq and the nWo and all that. I am Davin Moreland. Throwback. Purist. Philanthopist. These are universal truths that others will try to dispel, but the truth is the truth.

SDM: That's right, honey. You may not like his methods. You may not like his braggadocio. But he's going to keep telling you the truth until you believe it as such. You don't have to like him, and in most cases, he doesn't WANT you to like him. And you can pretend you don't respect him, but get these fuckers off the record and ask them which wrestler they respect the most - they'll say "Davin" most of the time. BECAUSE he does things the right way. BECAUSE he's such a joy to work with in the ring. BECAUSE not only is he capable of carrying a broomstick to a 5-star match, but if you're the broomstick, he'll make you look like a million bucks in the process, regardless of the finish. He polishes even the turdiest of turd angles, and bails out creative in the process. You want to cheer, you want to boo, you want to chant, you do whatever you want - but you react. And you'll always react to Davin. Strongly. Because he is what he says he is, the Greatest of All-Time.

DM: *displaying his t-shirt* That's what my t-shirt says. Get yours after my promo at the merch tables out front, and send some to your friends by using OOWFShop.com.

*Crowd is, well, reacting. There seem to be lots of smart fans at this house show, so he's getting a decent amount of cheers*

SDM: Seems like a smart crowd here, honey. I'm guessing they've been with you since you were "Internet Wanker Darling Davin Moreland".

DM: That's the great thing about me. I don't simply lose accolades when I get other ones. I'm still an Internet Wanker Darling. I'm still the Toughest Onslaught Champion on All-Time. I'll always be the Leader of the Often Imitated, Never Duplicated, Greatest Stable of All-Time, so sayeth the scoreboard, Run DEA. Also, the fastest EVER winner of the Grand Slam trophy by more than a year, and to date, the first and ONLY 6-Pack Champion. And now, after all the time as passed, after all the smoke has cleared, there is one man who stands alone as the epitome of achievement. The list of greatest wrestlers in OOWF history reads as such: 1) The Greatest of All-Time Davin Moreland 2) Everyone else. And i know it kills you all to hear it. I know it pisses you off. I know you're out here to cheer Alex or LD or The Hawai'ians or Texpress. But in the back of your mind, you know, YOU KNOW who the Cock of the Walk is here in OOWF. And I will run my mouth and run my mouth and run my mouth and be the subject of so many promos from those who really aren't fit to be in the same company as me, never mind the same ring - Until I hear you all shout out as one "Davin! Moreland! The Greatest of All-Time!"

*Believe it or not, there's a small contingent of people who will either chant anything, or decide to buy what Davin is selling*

SDM: Ok honey, you've talked about yourself enough. How about talking about your match this week?

DM: Yeah. SHOULD BE A SHORT ONE~!

SDM: He's not good enough to be in your ring, dear.

DM: He's not. He won't be in it long. Because I took 5 minutes out of my busy day and installed a strategy.

SDM: Ooh, a strategy. He should be honored.

DM: Well, ask him after the match, love. Ok, we're done here?

SDM: Yeah, we're done here. Hit the music and give it up for The Greatest!

DM: Cock a doodle doo, motherfucker!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD5G8T2ESsw

*fade*

*Fade back in to backstage*

SDM: Damn, that was fun.

DM: Look at you. Like riding a bike with you, eh?

SDM: We're the greatest tag team ever, baby.

DM: Ain't that the truth. Let's go eat. Also, LD - You're a fucking fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud.

*fade for real*

[BookerShark]

*Starfire Huckabee and Carl from Fresno are competing at a local OOWF House show in an epic Cheeseburger on a Pole match that has left both men bloody and beaten, much to the delight of the Ecuadorian crowd. Of course, Carl has more Will To Eat than poor Starfire, and Carl is able to grab the cheeseburger to end the match. He devours it within seconds. The crowd is on their feet in appreciation for the match, and both men do some acknowledging before limping to the back. The ring crew has just finished cleaning up when the house lights (such as they are) go out, and on the mini-jumbotron by the entrance ramp, we see a new video firing up. It's clear immediately who it's for, as it's Davin beating lots of different people up to this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD5G8T2ESsw - highlighted by the "Too fat, fat you must cut lean" section of the song, quick pictures of Stan Fulton and Moosehead Jack followed by an emaciated-looking Alexis Darling. The crowd tries their best not to laugh because Davin is JERK~!, but the lights come back on and Davin and Samantha (who looks just killer in a little black dealie) make their way down WITH MICS~! Halfhearted boos rain down, but both Davin and Samantha are flashing wide smiles as it's time for Davin to do what he does best. Talk. About himself.*

DM: Howdy Ecuador.

*More halfhearted booing, combined with a cheap pop*

DM: So, for once, Davin stays pretty quiet as the events around him unfold. Whaddya think? Good strategy?

*More mixed reaction*

SDM: Yeah, I don't think they're buying it, honey. Also, hi everyone.

*Samantha gets a genuine pop, because she's a girl, probably*

DM: That's right, it was decided that there's only so much protecting that needs to be done here. So Samantha's back, which makes Davin happy. And a happy Davin is a dangerous thing to the OOWF.

SDM: Ok, first, how can you be happy after what Evans did?

DM: I'm happy because I finally get to do to Evans what I've been wanting to do for months now. Son, I brought you up the card, and I can bury you back down it. I've warned you. I've suggested. I've used every possible means at my disposal to get the message across to you. And even STILL, you don't get it. I mean, plus 5 points for joining up with a pro like Eric, minus several million points for joining up with Bryce McBotchalot - who was supposed to be your sworn enemy, by the way, and FuckThatGuy, who is someone who can't hold even YOUR jock, Evans. You really think my friend Eric is looking out for YOUR best interest? Are you new here, fucko? Eric's going to do what Eric's going to do. I can't even imagine this is all his idea. Sammy, honey, can we send him a fruit basket? Pineapples. He loves the pineapples.

SDM: *pushes a few buttons on her smartphone* Done, sweetie.

DM: Good. So, while everyone else seems to lose their mind every time someone turns on them - Davin Moreland stands here before you, not mad. Not even a little. Hell, this is wrestling, right? Whether it's 2 weeks or 2 years, nothing lasts forever.

SDM: Except us, baby.

DM: Yeah, except that. And probably Sparxx and Jewel too. You know Sparky, now that you're making a decent paycheck, you might want to make an honest woman out of Jewel, there.

SDM: Davin, it's not right to pressure them.

DM: I know. I'm just saying. My point is, these things happen. Now am I going to sit in the back and go "Oh woe is fucking me" like SOME people?

SDM: Gee, wonder who you're talking about?

DM: Well, I don't want to come right out and say it, but suffice it to say his name rhymes with "Alexander Darling".

*Crowd gets a chuckle out of that*

SDM: Nice, honey.

DM: Also, let the record reflect that GFY was far more successful than Unforgiven (lou: Unforgiven) ever dreamed of being.

SDM: I don't even think Alex would argue that at this point.

DM: So yet again, I win, I prove I'm the better man - on to the next mountain to climb.

SDM: Don't you get bored, honey?

DM: Bored? With what?

SDM: By being so damned awesome? By having to find your own challenges over and over while people with half your talent get the stage to put themselves over?

DM: See sweetie, that's the best part about being the Greatest of All-Time. I don't have to prove a damn thing to anyone. All I do day after day is pad my legacy. I mean, hell, at this point I'm going to be remembered not only as a great wrestler, but as a guy who makes careers. Who puts the kids over. So not only am I the best to ever walk through the curtain, but I give back that which was so freely given to me. I do things the right way. The old school way. The way things were always done before the advent of the Horsemen and the Kliq and the nWo and all that. I am Davin Moreland. Throwback. Purist. Philanthopist. These are universal truths that others will try to dispel, but the truth is the truth.

SDM: That's right, honey. You may not like his methods. You may not like his braggadocio. But he's going to keep telling you the truth until you believe it as such. You don't have to like him, and in most cases, he doesn't WANT you to like him. And you can pretend you don't respect him, but get these fuckers off the record and ask them which wrestler they respect the most - they'll say "Davin" most of the time. BECAUSE he does things the right way. BECAUSE he's such a joy to work with in the ring. BECAUSE not only is he capable of carrying a broomstick to a 5-star match, but if you're the broomstick, he'll make you look like a million bucks in the process, regardless of the finish. He polishes even the turdiest of turd angles, and bails out creative in the process. You want to cheer, you want to boo, you want to chant, you do whatever you want - but you react. And you'll always react to Davin. Strongly. Because he is what he says he is, the Greatest of All-Time.

DM: *displaying his t-shirt* That's what my t-shirt says. Get yours after my promo at the merch tables out front, and send some to your friends by using OOWFShop.com.

*Crowd is, well, reacting. There seem to be lots of smart fans at this house show, so he's getting a decent amount of cheers*

SDM: Seems like a smart crowd here, honey. I'm guessing they've been with you since you were "Internet Wanker Darling Davin Moreland".

DM: That's the great thing about me. I don't simply lose accolades when I get other ones. I'm still an Internet Wanker Darling. I'm still the Toughest Onslaught Champion on All-Time. I'll always be the Leader of the Often Imitated, Never Duplicated, Greatest Stable of All-Time, so sayeth the scoreboard, Run DEA. Also, the fastest EVER winner of the Grand Slam trophy by more than a year, and to date, the first and ONLY 6-Pack Champion. And now, after all the time as passed, after all the smoke has cleared, there is one man who stands alone as the epitome of achievement. The list of greatest wrestlers in OOWF history reads as such: 1) The Greatest of All-Time Davin Moreland 2) Everyone else. And i know it kills you all to hear it. I know it pisses you off. I know you're out here to cheer Alex or LD or The Hawai'ians or Texpress. But in the back of your mind, you know, YOU KNOW who the Cock of the Walk is here in OOWF. And I will run my mouth and run my mouth and run my mouth and be the subject of so many promos from those who really aren't fit to be in the same company as me, never mind the same ring - Until I hear you all shout out as one "Davin! Moreland! The Greatest of All-Time!"

*Believe it or not, there's a small contingent of people who will either chant anything, or decide to buy what Davin is selling*

SDM: Ok honey, you've talked about yourself enough. How about talking about your match this week?

DM: Yeah. SHOULD BE A SHORT ONE~!

SDM: He's not good enough to be in your ring, dear.

DM: He's not. He won't be in it long. Because I took 5 minutes out of my busy day and installed a strategy.

SDM: Ooh, a strategy. He should be honored.

DM: Well, ask him after the match, love. Ok, we're done here?

SDM: Yeah, we're done here. Hit the music and give it up for The Greatest!

DM: Cock a doodle doo, motherfucker!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD5G8T2ESsw

*fade*

*Fade back in to backstage*

SDM: Damn, that was fun.

DM: Look at you. Like riding a bike with you, eh?

SDM: We're the greatest tag team ever, baby.

DM: Ain't that the truth. Let's go eat. Also, LD - You're a fucking fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud.

*fade for real*

[BookerShark]

*Stank and LD finish watching A'isha al-Takriti's promo.*

LDW - Those ninja cams don't miss a thing.

Stank - Did she call me Moose's "so called friend"?

LDW - That she did.

Stank - What the fuck did I ever do to her?

LDW - I don't know. Did you hit on her?

Stank - That's Poe's daughter, man. I wouldn't do that. I don't go around hitting on all the SFJ's and female NPC's like I used to. Chad stole that gimmick from me a long time ago.

LDW - I don't know.

Stank - I guess A'isha feels Moose has gone soft.

LDW - Because he dropped the World Title?

Stank - Because her dad wouldn't have. Especially for me. Poe and I were a great tag team but he would have given up the tag belts in a second for a chance to be World Champion. I guess she doesn't know that Moose doesn't really care about the World title and is confused as to why he really dropped it. Sure a small part of that was for us to dominate the tag ranks, but Rick fucked all that up.

LDW - Man you're really hung up on what A'isha thinks.

Stank - No I just don't appreciate her suggesting I'm not Moose's friend. Who the fuck is she to say that? She don't know me.

LDW - That's not what's upsetting you.

Stank - You're right.

LDW - You think she gets that idea from Poe.

Stank - Is she? I guess we'll have to call him and find out.

LDW - Let's do that later.

Stank - Why can't I call him? We were tag team champions together.

LDW - Don't you think you have enough on your plate? I haven't even promo'd about my own match.

Stank - Yeah but you hardly ever promo. You speak more in my promos than you do your own.

LDW - Promoing is not my thing. I like to do my talking in the ring.

Stank - How come I don't speak as much in your promos?

LDW - You really want to poke that tiger?

Stank - I suppose not... uh what were we talking about?

LDW - We were deciding not to worry about Poe or his daughter.

Stank - Oh yeah, yeah. Cause I'm busy.

LDW - Right.

Stank -

LDW -

Stank - Yep... really...

LDW -

Stank - ...busy.

LDW -

Stank -

LDW - aaaaaannnnd fade.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman watches this:

You've lost the physical, and now I am about to win the mental as well. For there is no way for you to leave that ring tomorrow having truly won. Only two options lie before you, both of which ensure my complete victory. You can do what I and nearly everyone believes you are going to do, and leave me a broken, bloody, crippled mess in that ring. But in doing so you will prove to the OOWF fans, wrestlers, administration, the people of Ecuador, America, the Western Hemisphere, and the WORLD...you will prove to them you are nothing more than a deranged psychopath, whose purpose is merely to maim, injure, and kill.

FW: He says that like it's a bad thing. The near-rapist is giving me morality lessons. Awesome. Can't wait to rip your windpipe through your throat.

Firewoman turns off the rest of the promo, and instead turns on 'Being Human.' After a while, she gets disgusted and throws a shoe at the TV as Alexander comes in.

AD: HEY!

FW: Whatever....what the hell has happened to vampires these days?

AD: Um......huh?

FW: Vampires! They used to be creatures of absolute horror, striking fear in the hearts of all who heard of them.

AD: And now they aren't?

FW: NO! Now they're a bunch of emo pussies who sit around and contemplate their existence and how terrible it is to live forever looking hot while they sit...IN THE SUN?

AD: Oh...

FW: At least these don't sparkle.

AD: Well, to be fair, there's been a wide variety of interpretations of vampire myth, and there's not a lot of consistency about --

But Alexander stops short when he sees her glaring at him.

AD: This is where I'm supposed to say "Yes, dear" right?

FW: Very funny. Seriously, even if there are variations, one thing that's fairly consistent is that MOST of them, with very few exceptions are pretty cool with the whole vampire thing. In fact, they REVEL in it. Even Louis in Interview came around eventually. And he did it without sunglasses and 100 SPF sunscreen.

AD: Okay.....Look I have something to tell you...have you seen any OOWF-TV today?

FW: Just the President's latest rant about how I'm a violent sociopath. Like no one knows that?

AD: He's one to talk.

FW: I know, right?

Fire watches some more of 'Being Human,' and then throws her other shoe at the television set.

AD: Okay, really?

FW: Sorry. It just sucks.

AD: I dunno, maybe it's more realistic. One day you're a regular human being the next you're a soulless killing machine who can basically do whatever they want with impunity forever. Who would want that?

FW: ....

AD: Okay...never mind......

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 3/23
Live! From Portoviejo, Ecuador

Stan Fulton vs El Lobo Sangriento

New guy El Lobo Sangriento comes to the ring, with a mixture of cheers and boos, as the crowd is not sure which side of the fence he's on. Crusher enters as well, with some cheers and boos too. The crowd is all mixed up. It's okay though, we get the bell and start going.

Opening lock up and while Lobo has considerable size, he's no match for the self-proclaimed 'bowling ball with arms.' Crusher has him backed into the corner almost before he can get any kind of control. The referee counts them down and at four, Crusher relents. He backs up, and Lobo nails him with a stiff chop to the chest. WOOOOOOoooooo. He follows up with one, two...and three more, driving Crusher across the ring to the far corner. Crusher hits his back on the turnbuckle and bounces out with enough of his own momentum, that Lobo can use it to throw Crusher to the side ropes. Crusher rebounds and looks to knock Lobo over with a lariat, but Lobo ducks. Crusher takes two steps and realizes he missed! He turns around and sees Lobo flying at him feet first. It seems Lobo had time to bounce off the ropes into a flying drop kick. It lands right dead-center of Crusher's chest, pushing him back to the other ropes. He comes out in time for Lobo to get back to his feet and get Crusher over...barely...with an armdrag. He pulls the arm up for an armbar. Time for commercial? No! Not here at the OOWF! Crusher is able to roll toward Lobo, break the hold enough that he can grab Lobo's arm, and get to his feet, with Lobo in a fireman's carry. He lifts him up with a military press and then steps back, dropping Lobo face and chest first to the mat in front of him. He pushes Lobo over with his foot, one...two...NO! Lobo just barely gets a shoulder up. Crusher is displeased and suggests to the referee that he should perhaps learn to count at the right tempo. Lobo, meanwhile, rolls to the side, and uses the ropes to get to his feet. Crusher discontinues his lecture for the moment and turns to face Lobo. The two men begin a regular Pier Two brawl, which the referee lets go for a little bit, until the closed-hand punches start to outnumber the legal ones. The referee backs them both off with a warning to each of them, that if there are any more shenanigans, he'll call for the bell. Lobo nods, but Crusher merely sneers and goes on the attack again. He charges at Lobo who ducks and hits a drop toe hold, sending Crusher to the mat. Lobo begins to put the boots to Crusher, in Garvin-stomp type fashion, but one gets too close to a free hand, and Crusher grabs it, pulling Lobo down to the mat as well. Crusher pulls him up by the hair (drawing another warning) and throws him into the corner. Crusher backs up and runs into him with a body avalanche. He draws back again for a second one, but this time Lobo moves, so Crusher eats turnbuckle. He staggers out, clasping his sternum. Lobo poses in the ring, a bit pleased with himself, but Crusher is not so pleased. He spins Lobo around and the two start another brawl, complete with forearms, uppercuts, knees, etc. Crusher again backs Lobo into the corner, and let's a closed punch sneak in...or so he thought. The referee sees it and starts the count to get them out of the corner, one, two....a few more closed punches....three....four.....FIVE! The referee calls for the bell and Crusher is ENRAGED! He yells at the referee who points to the OOWF logo on her shoulder as we hear the ring bell.

Your Winner in 12:48 by Disqualification...El Lobo Sangriento!

After the match, Crusher's rage boils over as he grabs Lobo, still woozy from the punching. He sends him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex and then heads to the corner. He gets to the second rope and...what a coincidence! Lobo is in perfect position for what follows! Crusher lands The Crusher! He stands, looking down at Lobo, and finally allows the OOWF referee to kick him out of the ring.

We’re back in the parking lot, and we find Psykle parking his Harley, SFJ13 with him.

SFJ13: Wow, he sure has a nice plane. It was cool we could bring your bike on with us.

Psykle: Yup, he thinks of everything. That’s one of the reasons they call him…

SFJ13: Shhhh…Arena? Cameras?

Psykle: Right. Forgot. Thanks.

Psykle begins to take his bag off his bike, and we see a few random fans walk up.

RF1: So, you’re that Psykle guy, huh?

RF2: Not so big.

Psykle: Look guys, I’d love to stay and give you autographs, but I’ve got a match I need to get ready…

RF3: We’re not here for an autograph.

RF4: We’re here for revenge.

Psykle: Revenge?

RF1: My name is Roberto F. Guittierez, these are my brothers. Perhaps you know our cousin Roberto C. Guittierez?

RF2: You cost him big money, jefe.

RF3: Now we’re gonna cost you.

Psykle: You’re joking, right? There’s four of you.

RF4: Odds are in our favor.

Psykle: *chuckles* You really think so?

Psykle chuckles again, taking a more menacing edge this time. RF1 pulls out a chain. RF2 picks up a brick. RF3 grabs a wooden plank. RF4 spies a lead pipe leaning against the building and picks it up.

Psykle: *pointing at RF4* Looks like you just volunteered to be Pettengill’ed.

A short siren burst is heard, and a long black limo accompanied by four police motorcycles pulls up. The Guittierez brothers stand frozen as the cops dismount and aim their guns at them. Meanwhile, the rear window of the limo rolls down, and we hear a man’s voice from inside.

LimoMan: Is that how I taught you to act?

Psykle: *Happily surprised* You’re here…

*Fade*[/i]

Matt Folz vs. Davin Moreland

"Baker Street" fires up and the crowd boos – Some booing Matt Folz, and some booing his shitty entrance music. Either way, it's having the desired effect as he makes his way down the ramp. Waving to the crowd, and egging them on, the crowd is worked into a pretty good frenzy by the time Folz starts posing on the turnbuckles. The lights go out, and the opening notes of "Pull Me Under" fire up from the sound system. This, well, it's an odd reaction. Lots and lots of boos, most of them wearing DDT shirts or Crete masks, some strong cheers by some fat teenagers that could use a shower, and the adults are split 50/50 between polite applause and good-natured booing, with smiles on their faces. The lights come on as the heavy section fires up, as we see Davin (with his "LD Williams is a Fraud" t-shirt) and Samantha (so, so hot in a royal blue sleeveless dealie), and they make their way down. Davin taunts the children on the way down to the ramp (jerk) before doing his Double Jump of Impressive Athleticism into the ring. More posing on the turnbuckles when Folz attacks Davin from behind with some clubbing blows. Fall River's Own Angelo Barros is taken by surprise and immediately calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Folz continues his attack, finally getting Davin off the turnbuckle. A couple of backhand "chops" (which look more like "slaps" and, well, yeah) to Davin leaves him selling in the corner. Folz takes a few steps back and then looks to the crowd, signaling something. Meanwhile, Samantha reaches down her back and hands something to Davin, who's not even looking at her, but takes an item in his hand anyway. Folz charges in, and gets BLASTED IN THE DOMEPIECE WITH TRUSTY REBAR!

YOUR WINNER by DISQUALIFICATION in 1:26...Matt Folz!

Davin shows no mercy with the rebar, landing headshot after headshot until Folz' face is a bloody mess. Davin pulls Folz up long enough to kill him with a DDT, and then wraps one of Folz' legs around the ringpost. There's a good portion of the crowd saying "Don't do it", but, yeah, like that will work. Davin starts going apeshit on Folz' knee and then his ankle, leaving his right leg in some very rough shape. Suddenly someone comes running down the ramp with no music, and DROPKICKS Davin in the back, ramming his face into the ringpost! It's Chris Evans, and he is stomping his way to a beatdown of Davin. It gets ugly quickly, as Davin sports the crimson mask after some Cheese Grater action on the barricade. Evans takes a break to gesture to the crowd, and it's at that precise moment that he falls to the ground after a loud “thud”. The camera pulls back, and it's Samantha, with a sick, little smile on her face, who has blasted Evans in the head with a chair. Davin gets to his feet, and instructs his wife to drop the chair.

Davin pulls up Evans and hits him with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE CHAIR! Evans is out, and is now bleeding. Just then, chairs fly at Davin and Samantha, and we see a limping (badly) Matt Folz throwing them. Davin and Samantha make eye contact, and she walks in one direction as Davin goes to the other. They've surrounded Folz, who's got one chair for 2 people. Folz smirks and takes a wild swing at Samantha. Bad idea. Before he's anywhere near making contact, Davin CHOP BLOCKS Folz on the bad leg, the right leg. Samantha stomps Folz a couple of times in the head, yes, in her heels, and Davin points to where he wants the chair. Samantha lays it on the floor, and Davin pulls up what's left of Folz. REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE STEEL CHAIR!

Davin and Samantha admire their handiwork as they kiss and then hold hands on their way back up the ramp, to mostly boos. Suddenly, the BKK come from the back, and Eric and Bryce look at Davin and Samantha, staring daggers. Davin smirks and shrugs as if to say "what else was I supposed to do?" Eric sort of nods and they both check on their Not-Stablemates. Davin and Samantha wave to the non-adoring crowd as we get things cleared out for the next match.

Firewoman vs. The President - Yellow Hanky Match

“Inkubus Succubus” plays over the PA system, as the wrestler called Firewoman emerges to a mostly positive reaction. Firewoman’s recent swings have left many fans more confused than anything else, but it doesn’t overpower the fame pop she brings when she arrives. She acknowledges the positive fans, slides into the ring and waits on the turnbuckle. Elliot Spencer is in audience, the camera panning to him for a bit.

“Hail To The Chief (Metal Version)” plays over the PA System, and the crowd begins to boo appropriately. Ecosystem comes out pushing The President in his wheelchair, which kind of evokes FDR but not really. He rolls down the President with Sexy Nurse behind looking concerned for the President. At the end of the ramp, he stands up out of his wheelchair, and Eco and Sexy Nurse dutifully clap as he walks gingerly up the stairs and into the ring. The referee is telling Ecosystem to leave due to the match being “No Disqualification, No Interference.” Eco has a little jaw-jaw over his status, but eventually accedes to the referee, heading back up the ramp.

The bell is rung….and Firewoman goes nuts. She jumps on President with a Lou Thesz Press, and starts wailing on him with rights and lefts. He reaches up and rakes her eyes, pushing her off after the distraction. The President moves surprisingly quickly, getting up and kicking Firewoman in the ribs before she can gain her bearings. The Leader of the Free Locker Room goes to the outside to find a weapon under the ring, but as he pulls out a Singapore Cane-filled trash can (required to set up any arena), Firewoman slides to the outside with a baseball slide kick to the face. President stumbles back, swinging a cane wildly to keep Fire away, but she picks up the whole trash can and launches it at him, knocking the President on his back and sending canes everywhere.

She picks up one as he rises, HARD shot to the back. She swings again, and this time it breaks. The President howls as he climbs up to the apron, but he’s moving slowly, his actual injuries showing. Firewoman grabs the half-a-stick and swings it—right between the legs of the President. The resulting howl deafens even the “E-C-Dub” chants this prompts. The President is rolling in the ring, grabbing his tortured, traumatized testes, as Firewoman picks a barbed-wire cookie sheet out from under the ring—WHY DO WE HAVE A BARBED WIRE COOKIE SHEET—and slides into the ring with it.

Firewoman raises the sheet over her head to slam down on The President, but he turns and kicks it back up, sticking it into Fire’s shoulder. The President is back on his feet, knocking Fire back with a punch. President off the ropes with a clothesline attempt, but Fire yanks the sheet out of her shoulder with one hand and catches the President with the sheet right into his extended arm before she tears it off. Something on there must have caught him nasty, because his arm bleeds quickly. Firewoman pulls out a garrote of sorts to go for a choke, but the President, almost out of instinct, swings his bloody arm wildly for a HARD chop across Fire’s chest, sending her back onto the cookie sheet as she drops the wire.

Fire pulls herself up as President rises, and she is enraged, throwing the Commissioner onto the same sheet with a big armdrag. She then grabs the back of the sheet, cutting her hands, and uses it to force him into the corner. Firewoman begins smashing the President’s face into the top turnbuckle. In her rage, she manages to pull off the top turnbuckle pad with one tear, then proceeding to smash his head into the exposed buckle, until she notices he is resisting less. Fire releases him, and he drops back, bleeding from the forehead. Firewoman’s eyes gleam, and she goes back to the outside, reaching into a bag by the announcers’ table…where she finds lighting tubes she had left there, sliding back into the ring.

She waves the tubes to the audience, who mostly pop in expectation. Firewoman has President laid out atop the lighting tubes, looking to replicate the plane incident on the bloodied President. However, Ecosystem suddenly comes back out atop the ramp and catches Firewoman’s eye. He shakes his head, seemingly more in sadness than in saying No. Fire hesitates momentarily, then FIRESTOMPS him into the lighttubes regardless, turning around to face away from Eco.

Firewoman picks the President up overhead and bodyslams him onto the broken glass with no resistance. President is basically being ragdolled at this point, and Firewoman suddenly has another evil grin flash across her face. She grabs President’s ankle and begins twisting, meeting no muscle resistance or tension from the President as she attempts to rip the muscle in half. She’s laughing as she does it even as Ecosystem runs down to the ring, grabbing a towel from the trainer and throws it into the ring. The referee calls for the bell, as Firewoman shows no sign of stopping.

Winner in 14:25…Firewoman.

Eco takes a microphone and steps into the ring.

Eco: The tradeoff you make if you continue that hold is not worth it, Lisa. Doesn’t matter if you respect me, doesn’t matter if you fear death, you know that’s true.

Firewoman throws President’s leg to the side, stepping over his body to go toward Eco’s face.

Eco: I am willing to take Lucas’s deal as he initially proposed it. But you have to decide if it’s right for you. 72 hours to decide if you want to be at my right hand once again, Lisa. Until then, the CURRENT Commissioner of the OOWF needs some assistance.

The medical staff, which apparently does include people besides Sexy Nurse, takes The President out on a stretcher as Eco follows closely behind, looking back to Firewoman. Firewoman smears the President’s blood across her chest as she stares daggers back to Eco, who nods.


Tytan vs. J-P Sparxx vs. LD Williams

Jekyll and Hyde hits and LD Williams makes his way to the ring to a chorus of cheers. LD seems to appreciate this show from the fans, and slaps a couple of hands as he makes his way into the ring. Let it Rock Hits and JP Sparxx and Jewel come out and pose on the ramp. The crowd mostly boos, but a smattering of cheers can be heard. Sparxx and Jewel make their way to the ring, jawing with some fans along the way. Bird and the Worm hits and the crowd erupts in boos as Tytan makes his way out. His past transgressions have not yet been forgiven by the fans. LD stands motionless in the center of the ring, but Sparxx heads over to say something as Tytan enters. Tytan ignores him, and shoves JP into the corner as he makes a bee line for LD. Tytan and LD go eye to eye, and Tytan has some words to say. LD listens in silence, until Tytan goes to shove him back. LD is having none of that and throws a punch and the two big men go at it. The ref calls for the bell and we are underway.

JP decides to take advantage of the brawl and springboards from the outside in, dropkicking into Tytans back. Tytan slams into LD, and both men stumble towards the ropes. Sparxx charges at them and lands a double dropsault taking both men through the ropes. As Tytan and LD recover outside the ring, Sparxx bounces off the far ropes looking to go high risk. This is not LD's first rodeo, and as Sparxx comes over the top rope, he grabs Tytan and pulls him out of the way. Sparxx crashes and burns hard slamming into the barricade. Jewel rushes to check on him as LD bounces Tytan's head off the announce table before throwing him back into the ring. LD follows in, but Tytan has recovered and drops a double axehandle to his back. Tytan slams him a couple more times before sending LD to the ropes and planting him with a massive spinebuster. Tytan covers, but LD kicks out at one.

Tytan whips LD into the corner and follows him in with a stiff clothesline. Tytan sends him into the opposite corner, but when he attempts to follow, he eats a flying clothesline from a recovered Sparxx. JP charges the corner and nails LD with a running knee. He grabs LD pulling him out of the corner with a bulldog attempt. Tytan is back up and looks to cut him off, however JP catches him first, and lands a bulldog on LD along with a simultaneous DDT on Tytan. Sparxx hops up and starts to pose, until he hears Jewel yelling for him to make a cover. JP covers LD who kicks out at Two, Sparxx shrugs and covers Tytan, who also kicks out at two. JP looks a little frustrated at this point, and doesn't realise LD is behind him until too late.

LD plants Sparxx with a massive German suplex laying him out. Tytan is back up, and him and LD start to exchange haymakers. LD catches Sparxx recovering out of the corner of his eye. When Sparxx attempts to get involved, LD dodges a mafia kick from Tytan, causing Sparxx to eat it hard. This causes Tytan to pause long enough to eat a superkick from LD sending him down. LD notices Sparxx getting back up grabs him, and plants a massive Canadian Destroyer. Sparxx is out. LD covers One....Two....Thre..no Tytan is in to break it up just in time. Tytan sends LD to the ropes, but LD grabs them stopping momentum. Tytan charges in and clotheslines both LD and himself over the top.

With two men down outside the ring and one down in, the ref starts the ten count. He gets to three and both LD and Tytan are up and throwing punches at each other. Neither man is focused on the ring, just on taking each other down. When the ref hits six Sparxx gets to his feet and sees them outside the ring. A smile crosses his face and he heads towards the far rope thinking to go high risk. To JP's surprise, his leg is grabbed by Jewel stopping his momentum. JP turns around surprised at her actions. Jewel points to the ref, and a confused JP looks over at him just as he reaches the count of ten and calls for the bell.

Your winner in 18:16 via count out J-P Sparxx

Sparxx's look of confusion turns to a smile as he realizes what just happened. Meanwhile outside the ring, the sound of the bell breaks Tytan and LD up as both realize what has just happened. Tytan lets out a few choice obscenities, kicks the ring steps and then storms up the ramp. LD takes the situation better, shaking his head in amazement, before offering a small golf clap to JP and heading up the ramp. JP and Jewel take time to pose in the ring celebrating his victory.


Darius Prentiss vs. D.H. Magnusson - Submission Match

The familiar strains of “Alcohouling Ass” play over the PA system, and the crowd pops for the arrival of DH Magnusson, who plays to the crowd by chugging just one more before heading down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans as he charges. Drink and Destroy merchandise sales have gone through the roof as of late, the more they occupy the clear position of fan favorites.

“Knights of Cydonia” by Muse is next, and the still-enigmatic Darius Prentiss emerges from behind the curtain, staring daggers through the Magnusson signs as he approaches the ring. Prentiss is enthused at the chance to take on the hard drinking brawler in a submission match as he hops up to the ring apron and steps between the ropes.

As the referee rings the bell, DH Magnusson and Darius Prentiss lock up in the middle of the ring, Magnusson obviously with a strength advantage but the almost-diminutive Prentiss jerking him around with leverage tricks. Magnusson is a bit too strong however, launching Prentiss into the corner and jabbing him with a few tough blows to ribs. Prentiss drops down and hooks out the knee, attempting to trap Magnusson in a heel hook, but DH grabs the ropes immediately, kicking the short submission stylist off as he releases. Prentiss goes back to the front facelock, taking a couple sharp forearms from Magnusson but still holding on. Finally, DH whips his body hard enough to launch Prentiss through the ropes, to the floor outside!

As Darius Prentiss stumbles up, getting his bearings, DH Magnusson goes to the outside apron, coming off with a double axehandle to the cocky rookie’s head. Magnusson whips Prentiss shoulder-first into the ring post, Darius bouncing off holding his left shoulder in pain. Magnusson stomps on the MMA specialist, pulling up his arm and dropping down into a cross-armbar. Darius struggles against the comparatively beefy legs of Magnusson, but manages to push off the guardrail with his legs, kicking Magnusson hard enough in the face for him to reverse the hold into another heel hook, but Magnusson uses his free leg to stand up and SOCKS Darius before sliding back into the ring to shake off the twist.

Darius Prentiss climbs back up to the apron after regaining his bearings, but he is launched back into the ring by DH Magnusson, who throws him over the rope onto his back before welcoming him back to the ring with a hard kick between the shoulderblades. Magnusson picks up Prentiss and launches him into the turnbuckles from nearly halfway across the ring. DH Magnusson charges into the corner, but Darius Prentiss hops up to the top turnbuckle as Magnusson goes chestfirst into the pads. Prentiss locks his les around the neck of DH Magnusson and drops down hangman style…FADE TO BLACK! Prentiss has Fade To Black locked in on Magnusson, and he petty obviously caught DH by surprise. The referee orders him to break due to Magnusson touching ropes, but Prentiss launches himself off toward the ring while maintaining the hold, and Magnusson now finds ropes out of reach! DH is trying to roll toward, but the torque on his neck is inhibiting his mobility. We see Magnusson trying to gasp for air, pounding the mat with fists but not tapping out. The fists are getting weaker, however…Magnusson is fading, the eyes are rolling back, the referee lifts the arm…it drops. Again..drop. Again…drop. The referee calls for the bell.

Winner in 10:10 by knockout…Darius Prentiss!

The cocky Prentiss poses with his foot on the chest of DH Magnusson as the referee raises his hand to pretty harsh boos before heading to the back.


Texpress vs. The Hawai'ians - Best of Seven Series (Hawai'ians lead 3-2)

The Hawai’ians enter first, led by Noelani as U2‘s “Vertigo“ plays. As they make their way down the aisle she makes it clear that they expect this match to end the series. Kai and Aina look confident as they step between the ropes. They scale the turnbuckles, and point at the OOWF logo hanging over the center of the ring while Noelani poses beneath it. They hold the ropes for Noelani to step to ringside, and then warm up as the lights dim and “God Blessed Texas” starts to play. Chad Madison and Zane Meyers are a study in concentration tonight, ignoring the wild cheers of the crowd and striding directly to the ring. They don’t even spare a glance for the hanging logo and go straight to center ring. Zane moves slightly in front of Chad as referee Angelo Barros gives the teams their instructions and calls for the bell.

As soon as the bell rings Zane throws himself forward and levels both Hawai’ians with a double clothesline. Chad turns and sprints to the corner. He hops onto the top turnbuckle and leaps onto the wire, rapidly swinging toward the center. Aina rolls to his feet and leaps for Chad, but Zane slams a shoulder into his gut, driving him back. Zane manages to hold the Hawai’ians at bay until Chad reaches the center and swings himself up so he’s sitting on the ropes. He reaches down and starts to unhook the logo. Looks like this one is going to end before it starts. Kai leaps to the top rope and dives across the ring, grabbing a wire. Zane grabs his legs, but Aina tackles him, breaking Kai free. Kai swings himself up and straddles the wires behind Chad. He slams a forearm into the back of his head, causing him to release the logo. Kai grabs Chad around the waist and throws his weight back, flipping him off the wires with a German suplex. Chad slams into the canvas, while Kai flips in the air and lands on his feet. Zane’s up by this point and levels Kai with a lariat as he lands.

Aina takes advantage of Zane’s distraction and starts to climb the ropes. Zane turns toward him, but Kai rolls into him from behind, taking him off his feet. Aina reaches the middle of the ring and swings his legs up, hanging on with them to free his hands. He reaches for the logo, but before he grabs it Chad springs off the top rope, hooks his head, and yanks him off of the wires into a stunner! Aina bounces out of the move and collapses into the ropes. Chad also hits the mat hard, and seems to be stunned.

Zane and Kai are still on the mat, throwing punches. Zane gets the advantage and drags Kai to his feet. He knees him in the stomach and takes him over with a suplex. Zane rolls Kai back to his feet and stuns him with a European uppercut before sending him into the corner. He follows him in with a clothesline and, as Kai stumbles out of the corner, throws him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Kai flips in the air and lands on his feet, albeit unsteadily. He spins and sweeps Zane’s legs. Kai hits the ropes as Zane gets up and nails him with a flying forearm. Kai rolls to his feet and goes right to the corner and starts to climb. Chad has cleared most of the cobwebs and follows him to the corner. He attacks Kai as he grabs the wire, keeping him on the turnbuckles. Chad climbs up beside him and a slugfest ensues. With his back to the pole holding up the wires, Kai has a positional advantage, and knocks Chad off balance. Chad teeters for a moment, and then falls - but Zane steps up behind him and Chad lands sitting on his shoulders. Zane steps back and boosts his partner up so that he can grab the wire in front of Kai. Kai swings his legs up and kicks Chad hard in the chest, but Chad hangs on. He tries it again, but Chad manages to grab him around the waist with his legs. Kai tries to shake him off, but Chad lets go with his hands and drops dragging Kai to the mat as well.

Zane surveys the ring. Chad is down. Kai is down. Aina is just starting to sit up. Zane looks up at the logo, shakes his head, and goes to the corner to climb. He makes it to the top rope and swings out over the ring as Aina lurches to his feet. Zane pulls his legs up as Aina approaches, but Aina hops up and grabs him. Before he can pull him down, Chad pops him in the mouth with a super kick. Zane pulls himself up and straddles the wires at the center. Kai is up and starts toward the corner. Chad starts after him, but Aina catches him with a knee to the kidneys and then spins him around and plants him with an STO.

Kai reaches the top of the turnbuckles and sees Zane trying to unhook the logo. He swings himself on top of the wire and runs across it like a tightrope. He slips off as he reaches the center, but uses the momentum to hit Zane with a flying clothesline. Kai slams into the mat while Zane does not fall but ends up hanging upside down with his legs caught in the wire. Aina grabs Zane’s arms and actually climbs up him until he can grab the wire. He wraps his legs and one arm around the wire and uses his free hand to reach for the logo. With a sudden roar Zane sits up. He drives his elbow repeatedly into Aina’s face until his grip slackens and he falls to the mat. Zane reaches down and unhooks the logo, and Barros calls for the bell.

WINNERS, in 20:32, tying the series 3-3 The Texpress.

After the match: Still clutching the logo, Zane topples backwards off the wires and falls to the mat. Chad crawls over to check on him and raises the arm holding the logo. Meanwhile, Noelani climbs into the ring and checks on
her men.


Chris Evans vs. Alexander Darling - Non-Title Match

The Trooper fires up and your Onslaught champion Chris Evans enters to massive boos, which he pays no mind to, as he slides into the ring, and motions to the back for Alexander Darling.

The lights go out, and...Prelude 12/21 plays. Alexander Darling stands at the top of the ramp, and stands there, biding his time, while Evans paces around the ring, frustrated. After the song ends, Princes of the Universe plays and the crowd goes crazy.

The two step to the middle of the ring, and are actually able to have a handshake to respect. Maybe this won’t be too bad. Evans lets go, and unleashes a huge bitchslap of disrespect. Evans gets a shit-eating grin on his face as Darling sells this. Darling quickly recovers and unloads a flurry of right hands that rock the Onslaught champion.

Alex throws Evans against the ropes, and goes for a clothesline, but Evans slides between his legs and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that drops Darling. Evans goes for the pin and gets a 2-count.

Evans picks up Darling by the hair and brings him to the turnbuckles, where he lands 2 stiff kicks, and then follows up with leaping roundhouse kick. Evans then flips off a fan that looks surprisingly like Father Lou, who shouts, “Kick his ass, Waltman!!”

Evans is getting very full of himself as he continues the beat down for the next few minutes, focusing mainly on the back of Alexander Darling.

Evans goes for the pin, and tries to grabs the ropes for leverage, but Darling is able to shift his weight and reverses the pin!

1..

Darling grabs the tights!.

2...

Darling puts his feet on the ropes!

3!!! Alexander Darling just beat Evans at his own game with the patented Darling Finish!

Winner, in 10:34, via Darling Finish, Alexander Darling.

Evans is stunned at this, as Darling walks down the ramp, looking at him as if to tell him, "Know your place, Cubby".

TTHE BRASS KNUCKLE KINGS vs. DRINK & DESTROY – Non-Title Steel Chain Match
(if D&D wins, they get a tag team title match at MADNESS with a stipulation of their choosing)

Alcohaulin’ Ass leads Drink & Destroy to the ring, and they are all business. Per GM The Rick’s final decree, no one can accompany either team to the ring, so it’s just Outback Jack and Dynamite Danny Taylor out for this one. They hit the ring and immediately each attach to a chain, awaiting the Kings.

Black Pegasus plays over the PA, as The Brass Knuckle Kings enter to their own tailor made theme music. Despite the rules, they are flanked by all 10 members of the Posse, as well as Matt Folz, Chris Evans, Maria Kanellis and Lauren Phoenix. Eric and Bryce enter the ring, and Eric (shockingly) grabs a mic.

Eric O’Mac: Okay, okay, I hear you booing me. But understand one thing. This farce was booked by GM The Rick, and last I heard he was prepping plates of food at the local Dayton Hooters.

Bryce Larson: If you don’t get what he’s saying, it’s simple. We’re not strapping these chains around our wrists unless our team can stay out there. They are a part of us, and they’re not going anywhere.

The referee surprisingly agrees to this! Eric & Bryce, having their bluff called, strap into the chains and are ready to go. Before calling for the bell, the referee turns and kicks The BKK’s team out of the ringside area! Eric and Bryce are livid, but as their crew leaves the bell rings and we’re underway!

Eric and Bryce, despite being chained to members of D&D, both immediately head over the top rope and try to make their way to the back. DDT & OBJ simply laugh at this action, as once they hit 15 feet, the BKK can’t go any further. They immediately try to unlatch the wrist straps, but D&D start to drag them back to the ring!

Bryce is pulled in first, and he’s pulling against DDT and losing. DDT finally poises the chain for one final tug, pulling Larson in for a huge lariat! No chain assist on the lariat, just a straight blow that puts Bryce down! At this point, Outback Jack has Eric O’Mac coming over the top and into the ring. Eric makes it to his feet, and OBJ keeps dragging him in to the center of the ring. Eric takes a dive and avoids OBJ’s clothesline, and comes back up to his feet with his hand in his trunks.

Gus Johnson: BRASS! KNUCKLES!

Eric takes aswing at OBJ who ducks and plants a shoulder into EOM’s stomach. The knuckles go flying and land in the hands of...Dynamite Danny Taylor! DDT looks at the knucks, then at the fallen Bryce Larson. He pulls Larson to his feet, looks at the knucks, smiles and tosses them away! DDT FLOORS Bryce with another short arm clothesline!

The camera pans to OBJ, who was standing in the exact right spot and he catches the knucks! Eric slowly makes it to his feet and OBJ swings at him with the knucks, but Eric ducks! OBJ doesn’t miss a beat and immediately clocks Bryce Larson with the knucks instead! As Eric tries to escape, OBJ slowly walks over to Eric and clocks him right in the head.

Gus Johnson: COLD BLOODED!

DDT tosses Bryce over the top rope and OBJ casually covers a prone Eric O’Mac for the 1..,2...3! It’s all over, D&D gets their World Tag Team title match at MADNESS! D&D grab two microphones.

Outback Jack: Our match at MADNESS is simple boys. We’re going to do whatever we want to you, and we will leave MADNESS with those tag team titles. We’ll see you on PPV. Yeah, and we can do whatever we want, because it will be NO HOLDS BARRED! [Belches loudly] And that, mate, is Australian for “you’re gonna get your asses kicked!”

WINNERS in 5:45 – Drink & Destroy (pinfall, OBJ on EOM, Brass Knuckle shot)


Stank vs. Psykle - World Heavyweight Championship Match

”Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace begins to play, and the arena is flooded in red light. Psykle makes his way out to the stage and stops. His music stops playing, the lights go back to normal, and “Riot” by Three Days Grace begins to play instead. As the music reaches a crescendo, a man impeccably dressed in what could only be an Armani gray suit steps out.

Razz: That must be Psykle’s mentor!

Nash: Who is that?

Russ: I’m surprised at you two! How can you not recognize the phenom of Wall Street? The international self-help guru who built himself from the ground up making wise investments? The single greatest mind in the history of promoting wrestling? He’s bought and sold more entertaining companies in the past than you guys have been in! The UWWF, The RWWF, Blazer of Glory, WWEWF, and the last one, almost 8 years ago, the FTR. I’m shocked to see him here! I thought he was done with entertaining after the FTR. If he’s Psykle’s mentor, then we've got some interesting times ahead of us. His financial holdings are out matched by very few people, he has more money than Bill Gates, which rumors have it that he may be the illegitimate son of.

Razz: That’s all good and fine, Russ, but what the hell is his name?

Russ: That’s Isaac Quincy Warner, more commonly known as Genius IQ.

Nash: That’s IQ? Wait, is Psykle his former bodyguard?

Russ: If you mean the man formerly known as Bloodsport, he could very well be. He’s got the same build and demeanor, and Bloodsport was well known for his vicious rage. This paints this world title match in a whole different light now.

Psykle climbs in the ring and waits for Stank, as IQ makes his way over to a leather office chair that is sitting at ringside. A butler brings him a martini
as IQ settles in to watch the match.

"Skin" by Nonpoint plays and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Stank comes out. The crowd erupts in a mix of cheers and boos. The cheers seem to be coming from Adults, and the boos from teenage girls and children. (Quick cut to West Newbury Massachusetts, where John Cena sits alone under a streetlight, and he sheds a single tear. Quick cut back to the arena.) We see Stank enter the ring and move eye to eye with Psykle. No words are spoken, but Stank holds the championship belt high in the air drawing a pop from the crowd. Psykle says nothing but a rage can be seen starting to burn in his eyes. Stank hands the belt off to the ref and moves back towards a neutral corner. Psykle steals a glance at his mentor Genius IQ just as the bell rings. The wily vet Stank takes advantage charging in with an avalanche attack. Psykle is rocked, but remains standing. Stank lays in with a combo of clubbing blows and knees. To Psykles credit, he is able to block the majority of them. He attempts to come in low pushing the champ back. Stank responds by dropping a massive elbow to his back that drops Psykle to one knee. Stank follows up by grabbing Psykles head and dropping him with a DDT. Stank covers, but Psykle kicks out before the ref can even start a count.

Stank pulls Psykle up and lands a couple of stiff forearm shots before sending him to the ropes. Stank drops his head for the back bodydrop attempt, but Psykle delivers a swift kick that puts the champ back upright. Psykle follows it up with a massive clothesline that sends Stank crashing to the mat. Psykle grabs Stanks leg and starts laying in stomps to his bad knee. A solid strategy, however Stanks week off has strengthened it up, and he is able to pull free. Stank heads back towards his feet as Psykle charges in. Stank is ready for him and this time lands the back bodydrop. Stank follows it up by dropping another elbow, and covers. This time he gets a one, before Psykle is able to kick out.

Both men are back up and circle each other more warily this time. The meet in the middle and lock up. Stank gets the advantage and pulls Psykle into a
headlock. Stank twists on it, but Psykle channels his inner rage, and surprises the champ by lifting the big man up into a back suplex. Both men are momentarily stunned, but Psykle recovers first and comes off the ropes with a knee drop. He covers Stank, but only gets a one. Stank heads back to his feet, when Psykle grabs him and attempts a vertical suplex. He pulls the big man off his feet, but Stank shifts his weight on the way up, crashing down onto Psykle.

Stank goes to pull Psykle up when he is rocked by a headbutt from the massive man. Stank stumbles back and Psykle jumps up, rage visible on his face. Psykle presses the attack with a massive shoulder block. Stank is rocked but remains standing. Psykle continues to press the attack landing stiff forearms pushing Stank back towards the rope. Psykle rears back and charges in for the big boot. Stank surprises him with his agility by moving at the last minute causing Psykle to crotch himself on the top rope. Stank throws up a boot of his own and Psykle tumbles out of the ring.

Stank wastes no time in following him out and puts the boot to his opponent. He grabs Psykles head and goes to bounce it off the announce table when Psykle counters with an elbow to his gut. Psykle bounces Stanks head off the table, and it clips a monitor. The champ comes back up and a trickle of blood is already starting to flow. Psykle whips him into the ring steps before tossing Stank back into the ring.

Psykle goes to reenter the ring, but Stank shows the resilience that made him world champ, and charges in with a massive knee. The lights seem to dim in Psykles eyes as he is obviously rocked by the blow. The veteran Stank takes advantage, pulling Psykle into the ring and planting him with a massive powerbomb. Stank covers but Psykle kicks out at one. Stank puts a boot to the rising Psykles face, then bounds off the ropes dropping the Stankonia 2.0 on him. Stank covers, and this time Psykle kicks out at two. Stank pulls Psykle to his feet, whips him to the corner, and crushes him with an avalanche. Psykle stumbles out of the corner, and Stank hoists him to his shoulders. He delivers the full force of the Stank-U, and covers. The ref makes the count, and Psykle rolls his shoulder up a second too late, and the refs decision is made.

Your winner in 22:17 and still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Stank

Psykle rolls out of the ring to his waiting mentor. The ref hands the bloodied Stank the belt, and the crowd erupts for the show they have just seen. Stank holds the belt high in the air as the crowd continues to show their support for this night of ENTERTAINING entertainment.

The ring crew busies itself preparing for the next match, or whatever, when they start putting a red carpet around the ring and what not. That can only mean one thing!

Ecosystem's Grand Slam "Grand Coronation" (how grand? So Grand!)

JR: Well, it’s time for Ecosystem’s Grand Coronation.

Nash: You know, JR, he might skip all the pomp and circumstance. After all, his friend President got beat up pretty bad earlier. He might think it’s distasteful to spend a lot of time talking about how great he is(Pause)

JR/Nash/Razz: HA HA HA HA HA HA!

After some preparation, the ring has been decorated with streamers and balloons bearing Ecosystem’s face. Ten peacocks are standing around the ring, leashed to the ropes, spreading their feathers on command. A table in the center features platters of chocolate-covered bacon cut into the shapes of trophies, and facsimiles of every OOWF singles and tag title, with Ecosystem’s face on the front of all of them.

Michael Buffer comes out from behind the curtain to a pop.

Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, will you all please stand up, and place your hand over your heart, out of respect for the greatest wrestler of all time and NEW Grand Slam Champion…Juuuuunichiro Mu-yo! (Explosive boos)

PA: I know who you are…the leader of lost souls…

"Immortal" by Adema plays as Eco comes out in full suit, Intercontinental Title around his waist. He points to the sky, and red, white and blue fireworks fire off behind him and he is bathed in blue spotlight. Ten staff members follow behind him and roll out a red carpet in front, but Eco shakes his head.

Eco: No, no, no. This is a special occasion. You ARE the carpet.

The staff members look at each other and then slowly lie down in front, as Eco steps on their backs on his way to the ring, trash being hauled at him until his guards step closer to the fans. Ecosystem snaps his fingers and yells at his staff, and they lift him up into the ring, where he raises the microphone back up to his mouth.

Eco: Ladies and gentlemen, I think you for your time here tonight. We are gathered tonight to celebrate the career and achievements of the greatest wrestler in OOWF history. (Crowd boos)

It’s funny. I knew you’d boo. But can you deny it? I founded the Online Onslaught Wrestling Federation, the most profitable company the business has ever known. I have been a Tag Team Champion, a Tag Team Invitational Champion, an Onslaught Champion, a World Champion, and now, with the Intercontinental Title, a GRAND SLAM Champion. I am the only OOWF superstar EVER to be inducted into the Hall of Fame as an active wrestler. That’s because there was no question, ever, about what I have meant to this company, to this industry. You might want to claim I stole this title—and Folz will get his shot back—but let’s be honest. Wins and losses aside, who DESERVES to be Intercontinental Champion? Who DESERVES to be a Grand Slam Champion? Someone who has never known any skills or talents in his lives other than how to beat people up? Or someone who is a leader…a creator…a savior. I gave myself the Intercontinental Championship not as a gift to myself, but as a FAVOR to all of you! I gave myself the burden of being Grand Slam Champion so your children would have someone to look up to!

Throw away the Drink and Destroy merchandise; they exalt a lifestyle that teaches complacency and hedonism. Trash the Tytan authentic replica cast; being the biggest dog in the yard only means you live in a yard your whole life. Burn your Alexander Darling shirt; teach your children not to throw away their gifts, but to use their privileges to the fullest.

I want to introduce to you now a man who understands what it’s like to be a leader. He revolutionized this company, not based on principles, or camaraderie, or other excuses for mediocrity. No, the most important thing he gave this company…was corporate sponsorship. And while everyone called us phonies and sellouts, little Holden Caulfields they were, our paychecks grew and our influence with them. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting me with my Grand Slam trophy…Davin Moreland!

"Pull Me Under" blasts, and Davin Moreland comes out carrying the Grand Slam Trophy. He gets something of a mixed but loud reaction, par for the course, though the boos are louder for even proximity to Ecosystem. He steps into the ring to hand the trophy over, but Eco motions for him to set it aside, and then shakes his hand.

Eco: No, no, Davin, let’s not rush the moment. I want to draw out this story a little more.

You know…it’s no secret that I am the most educated wrestler in the back, the most academically advanced of anyone on staff with this company. But like all of you…I was once a failure. (Crowd boos)

You see, there was once this time, in seventh grade. Times were tough at home, was doing odd jobs, and I didn’t have much time to prepare for the science fair. In our school, I came in second place to this girl named Malia. Now, you can’t go to Japanese science fair regionals if you came in second, unless you pay for your entry. So I took on as many odd jobs as I could that week—cleaning houses, helping garbagemen, whatever I could do to pick up extra yen. And finally, I earned enough money…to pay the janitor to go into the school after hours and destroy Malia’s science project. And when I came in the next day, and Malia was crying, and the teacher informed the class that I would have to go to regionals…for the first time in my life…I felt like a winner.

The crowd boos. Davin Moreland looks kind of embarrassed.

Eco: And tonight, despite your booing and your judgment, tonight, I intend to be treated like a winner. As such, I now call down the man who will release the doves upon presentation of my trophy…ladies and gentlemen, the man who will lose to me on Sunday, the choke artist, the man who my booking committee will NEVER let near a title once he loses…Stan "Crusher" Fulton!

"Crusher" by the Ramones plays over the PA system as Stan "Crusher" Fulton comes out with a weird crooked smile. He is carrying a large cage of doves and walks peacefully down to the ring with them, waving to the fans as he steps into the ring.

Eco: It’s so nice to have you here to share this moment, Stan. Thank you for performing your job.

Stan: No, no, I understand, Juni. I am just…performing my job, right?

Eco: Well, of course.

Stan: It’s not embarrassing at all to release doves on this magnificent day for you. Really, in this entertainment era, there’s no legal way to distinguish between "wrestling" and what we’re doing right now, right?

Eco: None whatsoever.

Davin: Eco…

Stan: So it’s just you and me, in a wrestling ring, and according to your own GM rules, if we’re performing an entertainment together, than means I can…

Stan Fulton SMASHES the entire cage of doves against Ecosystem’s face! Davin Moreland moves toward Crusher, but the big man grabs the trophy and smashes it against Davin, knocking him out of the ring before bringing the trophy down on Ecosystem’s back! Stan Fulton grabs the cage and opens it…right on Eco’s face, the maddened doves clawing and scratching past his face as they rush to get free! Eco rolls out of the ring, holding his face in pain! As he looks at the ring, he sees Stan Fulton pick up the facsimile Intercontinental Title—and he tears off the Ecosystem faceplate with his teeth, spitting it down on the ground before raising the title above his head to a big fan reaction. The camera focuses on the now-bloody Ecosystem, with Stan Fulton and his title projected on the OOTron behind him.