Midweek Mayhem 12/25 Christmas Chaos! from Baldhe

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: Christmas Chaos!
Live! From Baldhead Maine
December 25, 2013

Team Warfare!
(Teams selected completely at random)

Team 1
Christian Carter, Chris Evans, Jason Allen, Chloe, Danny Taylor, DK Murphy

Team 2
Stan Fulton, Awesome Bill From Dawsonville, Miranda Williams, Stank, Moosehead Jack, Alexis Darling

Team 3
Firewoman, Daniella Murphy, Chad Madison, Ecosystem, Zane Myers, Alexander Darling

Team 4
LD Williams, Mai Muyo, Justin Sane, Matt Folz, Tommy Wilder, Joey Reyna

Wins: Six man = 1 point, tag team = 2 points, singles = 3 points

Team 1 vs. Team 2
Chris Evans vs. Stan Fulton
Team 1 vs. Team 3
Christian Carter, Jason Allen & Chloe vs. Firewoman, Ecosystem & Alexander Darling
Team 1 vs. Team 4
Danny Taylor & DK Murphy vs. Matt Folz & LD Williams

Team 2 vs. Team 3
Moosehead Jack & Stank vs. Texpress
Team 2 vs. Team 4
Awesome Bill From Dawsonville, Miranda Williams & Alexis Darling vs. Mai Muyo, Justin Sane & Tommy Wilder

Team 3 vs. Team 4
Daniella Murphy vs. Joey Reyna

Winning Team Battle Royal
Winner gets a check for $50,000

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Ghosthead vs. TBA

SPECIAL START TIME!!! 12:00pm!

Card subject to me actually writing it!

[BookerShark]

FADE in backstage at Boring, MD. Standing talking quietly after the show is LD Williams and Stan Fulton.

LDW: “You’d be surprised. An extra half pound of pressure can make all the difference.”

SF: “Interesting. I would have thought that when you’re talking that much that a half pound wouldn’t change much.”

As they talk, the rest of the Saints of Sinners arrive. Moose is keeping Chloe on a short leash as she looks like she’s ready to claw Fulton’s eyes out. Moose puts a hand on her shoulder and she relaxes... a bit.

SF: “Moose. Stank. (pause) Miss Neal.”

Chloe seems to take that as respect (and perhaps it was...) and relaxes more visibly.

MHJ: “Fulton. Congratulations on your win with LD tonight.”

SF: “Just like old times.”

LD smirks a bit at this.

LDW: “It’s your turn now, guys.”

S: “Meaning what?”

LD hands him the lineup for Christmas Day.

S: “Well, well, well. Fulton gets to hang with the Saints another week. This might actually help your merch sales. And LD's sister. Quite a team.”

SF: “Har har. I don’t care who I work with during this clusterfuck. Let’s go out and dominate. Just like LD and I did to Murphy and Myers.”

MHJ: “Agreed. Bill and Alexis? We’ll see how they react. The rest of us? Pure talent and a mean streak a mile wide. That money is easily ours.”

Fulton nods and shakes Moose’s outstretched hand as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

Sexy Female Journalist #2 is seen, and starts talking.

SFJ#2: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my guests, The Suicide Kings.

Camera zooms out, and Carter, Allen, & Reyna Jr. comes walking into frame.

SFJ#2: Gentlemen, last night, you took two out of three matches again this week, making it 4 out of 6 these last two weeks against your upcoming PPV opponents, Matt Folz, Alexander Darling, and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Ghost…

Carter cuts her off…

CC: His name is Jared Mann. There is nothing ghost like about him…he is nothing more than jackass wearing white paint. It’s very pathetic really, trying to act all supernatural, when he’s from Atlanta, GA. Jared, you seem to forget, I’m good friends with your brother, and yet what he tells me, you’re nothing like this in real life…

Just then Kayfabe walks in and smacks the SFJ#2 in the ass! Carter looks at him, shakes his head and continues..

CC: Jared, our battles these past weeks have been very grueling, yet the results always end up the same, you lying flat on your back, looking up at me beating you over and over again. You think it’s a coincidence? It means one thing, and one thing only…I’m better than you. I’m better than all of the OOWF roster, and no one can prove it wrong. Not Folz, Not Darling, no one. Jared, come New Year’s Evil, you definitely will not walk out of New York with that belt…your tag team partners will see to that.

SFJ#2: Now, you mention beating Gho…uh Mr. Mann, but last night, you had help. Do you have any comments on that.

CC: Jason and Jose here were not in the ring. They were taking care of Darling and Folz. I beat Jared Mann all by myself, like I always have. I think you got your facts wrong sweetheart.

SFJ#2: No, my facts aren’t wrong, and don’t call me sweetheart!

CC: Oh…I’m sorry sugar lips. Main thing is, one of us, will be the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, and that is when the party will begin. MY GOAL is to make sure Jared Mann, Matt Folz and Alexander Darling does not ever see that OOWF title ever again, and then the New World will shine bright throughout the land for the Kings to RULE. It will be career suicide for our opponents. This interview is over, cupcake!

Carter, Allen and Reyna Jr. leave the frame as the SFJ looks irate. Fade.

[BookerShark]

*Ghosthead is roaming the halls of the OOWF when he spies Christian Carter's promo on a nearby monitor. He simply smiles and shakes his head then turns toward the nearest camera.*

Ghost - Chris Carter's hubris is exceeded only by his ignorance. If indeed you've had any talks with my brother he most assuredly told you nothing of my "real" life because he knows next to nothing about it. You even less so. It does not surprise me that you would reduce yourself to mocking me with so little else to hang your proverbial hat. No one with half the mind of a mite would mistake your wins over me as victory. Delude yourself if you must Chris Carter, but this unknown agent who dares insert themselves in our matches has much to answer for... and will... this I promise. As for your certainty that I will lose my OOWF World Championship to you, or anyone else at the upcoming Pay Per View, let me state a certainty of my own. If I do not walk out of New Year's Evil 9 as the OOWF World Champion, neither will you, or the other two whelps in the Suicide Kings.

I will bleed you dry first before consuming you once again in Phantasmagoria, then you too will know... just like everyone else... The Death Knell tolls for thee.

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SITTING~! in the Darling Luxury Suites, doing something with her phone. Davin comes in and sits across from her, and she kind of nods but doesn't look up.

DM: What the hell is up with Lexie?

FW: Huh? Oh, nothing, prolly.

DM: I dunno, she seems awfully...what are you doing?

FW: Solitaire.

DM: Still?

FW: I have to win three in a row.

DM: This is one of your obsession things isn't it.

FW: Mmmhmmm..

DM: Okay, well, we need to talk about a few things. First next week, there's some sort of team warfare clusterfuck. I don't know, you're on a team with Dee Murphy, Chad, Eco, Zane, and Alex.

FW: Gee, that'll be fun. No drama or anxiety there.

DM: Dr. Sid has been alerted.

FW: Great.

DM: So I think you compete first in a six man--

FW: Person.

DM: *eyeroll* PERSON, fine....and there's points there, and then there's some individual matches...I can't figure it out. Regardless, the person with the most points at the end wins 50 grand.

FW: 'Kay.

DM: So I basically got all my binders about the whole roster, and started updating them, mostly of the people who I think you'll be facing the most in this thing...the rest I'll update and send you.

FW: 'Kay.

DM: Which brings me to the other thing I need to talk to you about, and that's I'm leaving.

FW: 'Kay...wait, what?

Firewoman looks up from her 37 millionth game of Solitaire, and begins to panic.

FW: What do you mean! You can't leave! I need binders!

DM: I was just TELLING you that I have some of them updated and I'll e-mail you the rest. You'll have to print them out and then get a three hole punch and put them--

FW: Wait, E-MAIL? I don't know my password!!

DM: Alex does. And Lucky, enabler that he is, set up your tablet so that it remembers you so that you don't have to remember the password, which is so unsecure, I can't even begin to--

FW: And where do we find a printer?!?

DM: Most hotels have business centers that--

FW: And then three hole punch? What am I, a genius? How will I know where the pages go, and which ones to get rid of and whether they should be alphabetical or chronologicalorshouldtheybesomecombinationofboth--

DM: LISA MARIE QUINN DARLING!

Firewoman stops, stunned by the rare use of her full name loudly.

DM: I don't have time for your issues. I am going home for TWO WEEKS to see my wife and your niece. *Fire smiles at the mention of her niece.* I will be back after that, so you can slow the panic train.

FW: Oh...okay.....

DM: Sheesh. Fire, you're taking your medicine without anyone telling you, you're back on your meditation and yoga routines, you've never been fitter...you've come a long way once you knew you had to.

FW: Yeah...I have, haven't I.

DM: You've even given up on that crazy idea about Chloe.

FW: ....

DM: ....

FW: ....

DM: You HAVE given up on that, right?

FW: Define "given up?"

DM: Fire....

FW: Go on, Davin, give Sam and Mickie my love.

DM: And the rest of the Darlings?

FW: Tell them I'm still not a gold-digger?

DM: I'll try....Happy Solstice, Fire.

FW: Merry Christmas, Davin.

Davin grabs the suitcase that was near the door and leaves. Fire scowls and looks a bit unsure of what to do next, looking around the room somewhat anxiously until she sees her phone. She grabs it, and appears to go back to playing Solitaire.

[BookerShark]

(Edra Neal lies in a hospital bed. Medical devices and an IV bag are in view. A waft of smoke comes into view. The camera follows the smoke and we see it comes from a cigar being smoked by...Chloe.)

Dear, sweet, St. Edra. I knew this would be easy, but I didn't think it would be, well, THIS easy. I'll say this. You're predictable. I can still read you like a book. And you're so...so boring. Just like dear old dad. No wonder you took his name. You don't deserve to be a Neal.

It's funny, you pushed everyone and everything away just so you could come back here and try to take me home. You pushed away our wicked stepmother, you pushed away my leftovers that you call your life partner, you've pushed everyone away, thinking you were better than me. Poor, demented, St Edra, to quote Sammy Davis Junior, you ain't better than nobody. You could have had somebody here to watch your back. Instead, you're here, in beautiful Boring Memorial Hospital. Alone. With me.

Too bad Uncle Ned and Aunt Nancy got caught, took the easy way out. They could have gotten rid of our loving Father so easily. Just like this.

(Chloe stands up and reaches into her pocket and takes out a syringe. She pulls the plunger back, filling the syringe with air, attaches it to the fitting on Edra's IV. She closes the feed tube from the bag and begins pushing the air into the IV.)

They'll think you've had a simple heart attack. Given all your new musculature, they'll think the steroids caused it. No one will suspect a thing. Say hi to dear old mom and dad. If they're not too busy fighting with our Aunt and Uncle, that is.

(Chloe begins laughing hysterically. Suddenly Edra's eyes snap open and she sits bolt upright...and we see she's backstage in medical, bandages on her face and her clothes a bloody mess. She has a panicky look on her face and is breathing heavily. Standing next to her is GM Nate and members of the board of directors.)

GMN: Ah, Edra, you're awake. Are you OK?

Edra: Where is she?

GMN: She?

Edra: Chloe. Where is she?

GMN: She and the other Saints are already on their way to Maine. They tend to not hang around long after the shows...

Edra: She was here!

GMN: Edra, I assure you that apart from the medical team, no one has been here apart from the board of directors and myself. Anyway, you'll get another week off until you start at the Pay Per View.

Edra: Week off?

GMN: Next week is Christmas Chaos, the teams are all set. Just relax, take another week off, and we'll see you in New York.

Edra: NO! You wanted me back so bad, get me somebody. Anybody.

GMN: Well, if you like I can get you someone from PHWF.

Edra: I just need a warm up match.

Voice: Will I do?

(Edra turns to see the big Brit Ember Blackpool.)

Edra: Why yes, yes. You'll do just fine.

Ember: I tried to make a statement with your sister. I think you'll work just as well.

(Ember slowly glides out of the room)

GMN: Are you sure you're ready?

Edra: If not now, when? Make the match, Nate. Hey, do you smell something?

GMN: No, not...wait, that...cigar smoke?

(Edra looks at Nate, and in the distance we hear the cackling of insane laughter as we fade)

[BookerShark]

Stan walks in on Ecosystem doing pullups in the gym.

Stan: Exercising without being watched?

Eco: (dropping down) Well, I pulled a little bit of the short straw this week, didn't I?

Stan: How so? You have a team full of love and respect. Alexander and Firewoman know each other in and out--

Eco: ahem

Stan: Pun not intended. Though that would be a great transition to Chad, since you'll have him and Zane. Why, you're blessed with two fully cohesive units on this Christmas.

Eco: Ah yes. And if they're united by anything, it's how much they love me.

Stan: Are you questioning their respect for you? Why, that's like questioning Dee Murphy's ability to be a team player!

Eco: Can we leave light sarcasm to the good guys, please?

Stan: Fine. You've got a hilariously lousy team for you, I've got a good one for me, we're still the World Tag Team Champions so none of this matters, and I'll pay for dinner the next day after we win.

Eco: Sounds good to me.

Stan sits down at the leg weights as Eco moves to the free weights. They exercise in silence for a few minutes. Eco begins to step out.

Stan: Hitting the showers already? 

Eco: Nope, but glad to know you're policing my piss breaks.

Stan laughs as Eco enters the bathroom, camera rudely following in. Eco faces the mirror.

Eco: So what's next? Stan has his Grand Slam. He has his championship. What do I owe him now? What do I need now?

Cut to the mirror. The Joker looks back. 

Joker: You're really asking me for direction? Do I look like a guy with a plan?

Eco: I've walked with you this far. 

Joker: And I gave you what you wanted. You gave me a goal, and I stripped away your refined sensibilities.

Eco: Let's say my goal is to find out what's deeper. What Stan really needs.

Joker: Ooh, what a lawyer you are! Playing with terms and definitions. But you're not looking for a game plan. You're looking for purpose, Junichiro, and I can't give you that. You threw away your God, your morals, your love, and now you have the audacity to ask for purpose? Well, here's the punchline, Juni - there is none! 

"Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed its war debt creditors! Telegraph poles! Ha ha ha ha HA! It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag!

So enjoy your spoils! Stop being ponderous and ride Sherman's March! Burn them to ashes before you return to ashes!

Eco steps back...and takes a breath. 

Eco: No. No, it's not a gag. There is more to be won.

Joker: For what? For Stan's legacy? For your legacy? Even Caesar will be forgotten when the world burns.

Eco: Perhaps. But the grapes are not sour for merely sitting atop the unreachable branch.

Eco walks out.

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Destroyatorium*

Alexis Darling is sitting in a back booth all by herself nursing a beer when Spencer makes her way over.

Spencer: You've been quiet sis. Everything okay?

Alexis: *looking up from her drink* Who am I?

Spencer: I'm not sure what you're asking?

Alexis: When you look at me, what do you see?

Spencer: My sister.

Alexis: Hmmmm.

Spencer: Hmm, what?

Alexis: I don't know. I wonder if that's all I am. A sister.

Spencer: No.

Alexis: Okay, then what else am I because I sure seem to have forgotten.

Spencer: You're everything you've always been and wanted to be. I know that might not be the answer you want or need right now, but it's the truth Lexie. You've had a really great year and yea, it may not be ending how you want it to but look at what you've done this year. A tag team title run with your brother...

Alexis: Which we held for all of like 3 weeks.

Spencer: Be that as it may, it was something you two always dreamed of and you accomplished. But if you want to be negative about that, how bout when you made that goal of stepping outside the so-called shadow of Alex and win a major singles title here...what did you do, win the Intercontinental Title. And you didn't lose that in a few weeks. You held on to that for months.

Alexis: Fine...I've accomplished things this year and yet something doesn't feel right.

Spencer: I can tell you've had a lot on your mind and I get the idea it's stuff you can't/don't want to talk about yet...but here's what advice I can give you; stay true to yourself, stay true to everything that means something to you, and if life wants to screw you, turn it around and fuck it before it fucks you.

Alexis: *chuckles* Sounds like advice from a real winner.

Spencer: It is. It's from one of the most important people in my life...YOU.

Spencer stands up and walks away as Lexie looks into her drink as she quietly talks to herself...

Alexis: But what if staying true to myself fucks over everyone I care about. There isn't any coming back from that...is there?

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

*The Murphys are on Arthur Avenue in The Bronx again; this time with Cousin Jimmy, who is shopping at different stores for what he will serve on Christmas Eve*

Daniella: Dom, I am getting tired of all the long-lost relatives.

DK: Yo, Dee, just try to put up with it. It's no big deal.

*Cousin Jimmy, a middle-aged man with slicked-back hair, wearing a track suit and a big gold chain, has gone inside a store where 3 dead-eyed young men are staring him down. The Murphys walk in behind him*

*Dead-eyed man #1*

DEM: Yo, old man, this is an Albanian place now. We run this place.

Daniella: Hey Jimmy, this might be a good time for you and Dom to try those cigars we bought you.

Jimmy: Wait, but...

DK: You know what, Jimmy, I would really like to step outside and smoke a nice cigar.

Jimmy: OK, Dom, that sounds nice.

*The 3 dead-eyed men smile, until DK and Uncle Jimmy step outside, and then Daniella Murphy rubs her hands together. They rush towards her, and get beaten down severely. She steps outside onto Arthur Avenue and DK hands her a cigar.

[BookerShark]

The Murphys and Uncle Jimmy are smoking cigars on Arthur Avenue when a man who looks just like Uncle Jimmy walks up to them.

*DK & Dee* Hey, Uncle Sal!

Uncle Sal: Dominic, Daniella, I am so sorry that you had to get dragged into this.

Daniella: Uncle Sal, I have no idea what you are talking about.


Uncle Sal: Oh, right, I know what you mean.

[BookerShark]

It is an unusually mild night in the Bronx, and the Murphys and their Italian uncles are smoking cigars on the street.

Uncle Sal: I am so sorry you guys got involved...

Daniella: No problem, Uncle Salvatore.

Uncle Sal: No one but you and your mother get to call me that...

Daniella: So...?

US: So, we watch your matches, we stay out of the way, no problem

[BookerShark]

Mai is working out when she turns around and finds Tommy Wilder sitting on top of the chin-up bar….

MM – How do you do that?

TW – What?

MM – Just…. show up.

TW – Would you believe I interned as a ninja camera man?

MM – No.

TW – Hey, what up? You haven’t been your usual ray of sunshine, babe.

MM – It’s... all this chaos.

TW - This week’s matches? Yeah, kind of a weird mix – but hey, I think we got a shot.

MM – No, this is just part of it. All of this… change. Chloe, Edra, my brother, Fire… even….

TW – You?

MM – Yes. How do you do it? Stay so – positive, so stable in all of this?

TW – (Laughs) Wow. I got an old tag partner who would say that Tommy Wilder and stable do NOT belong in the same sentence.

MM – Stop making fun. You know what I mean.

TW – Sorry. Thing is, I don’t try. If anything, I go goofy-foot – the opposite.

MM – I don’t understand.

TW – Look. When you’re flying downhill, racing, stunting, or just for kicks – don’t matter if you’re on a board, blades, or bike – you gotta go faster than you can really react. You can’t control it. Can’t control the road, the wind, if there’s stuff in the way, or the other riders. So, you don’t. You find the center. That bit of you that is really you, and you ride. Everything kind of moves around you, through you. It just happens, and you happen right along with it.

MM – You are talking Zen.

TW – Yeah, I guess I am. Works though. All the crazy ‘round here. Brutality, pressure to get some gold, then to hang on to it, factions, rivalry… You try to hang on to any of it, try to control it, direct it, you’re gonna wipe out.

MM – So what do you do?

TW – I don’t try! I let happen. I win titles, I lose titles. I take on friends, foes. I’m the opening match one day, the main even the next. But one thing never, ever changes…

Me. I’m Tommy Wilder. What you see, is what I’ve been my whole life. This ride might end tomorrow, it might go on for years. I don’t have any idea, I can’t control that one way or the other. I just gotta be. So, really Mai – you gotta ask –

You gonna ride the ride, or you gonna let it ride you?

Can you just let yourself be Mai?

Anyhoo – I gotta jet. You me and Justin are gonna have a blast! Heck, we might even pull it off! Hang loose, babe.


Mai watches Tommy leave….

Fade.

[BookerShark]

(The setting is outside the suite of the Suicide Kings. The door opens, and Chloe Neal walks out, with Christian Carter and Jason Allen following. They shake hands at the door, with Carter's hand lingering a moment longer than necessary. )

Carter: You need any help with your sister, just let me know.

Chloe: Your offer is greatly appreciated. Thank you, Mr Carter.

Carter: Christian. The Suicide Kings are always ready to assist you.

Chloe: Winning this Team Warfare challenge will be all the assistance I need. Then I can bring the $50,000 back to the Saints for winning the battle royal.

Carter: You?

Chloe: Care to challenge me, Christian?

(Chloe's eyes are soft but evil, and Carter decides to not push the issue. He gently kisses her hand and Chloe blushes and skips off. She rounds a corner and finds Akiru Tornado trying to decipher the directions to the house show posted on the wall. Chloe grabs Tornado by the hair and runs his face into the instructions...which become totally unreadable due to blood. She picks up Tornado for the Corkscrew! Chloe covers, the referee appears to make the three count.

WINNER – And Still DDT Ironman Ironperson Heavy Metal Champion – Chloe!

(Chloe picks up her belt and branding iron and runs right into Scheme Gene.)

SG: Chloe Neal, what is the meaning of this outrageous attack on an unsuspecting wrestler?

Chloe: Why, Gene, I don't know what you're talking about.

SG: Your unprovoked attack on Akiru Tornado...

Chloe: Let me ask you something, Gene. This championship is 24/7, right?

SG: Absolutely!

Chloe: And I have to defend it at all times, right?

SG: Of course!

Chloe: So that's what this was. A title defense. Only instead of waiting for Tornado to take advantage, I pre-empted his attack.

SG: Oh, my, Chloe Neal, this week you're in six man, er, six person action with two members of the Suicide Kings taking on two people you know well, Firewoman and Alexander Darling, and the deadly Ecosystem.

Chloe: (Chuckles) It's no secret that all three of our opponents would like to see me assume room temperature. But that's not happening. Our goal is to win, and to hope that the other members of our team hold up their end of the deal. If that happens, I get my hands on that fucker Evans again along with that Murphy boy and that mute fucker. Anything goes in the battle royal, and I'm claiming that 50-thousand for the SBAF.

SG: SBAF?

Chloe: Saints Beer and Alcohol Fund, Gene. That should keep us going for a week or two.

SG: On another topic, the attack this week on your sister...

Chloe: Mind games, Gene. For years dear old dad and dear Saint Edra kept me under wraps, controlled, sedated, much like another person on our roster. But unlike this other person, I broke free, I was saved by her own brother. Now it's time for revenge, and it's a dish best served cold by the Martyr. I will free you Power. And you will bleed. And with your dying breath you will utter just three simple words....”Thank you Chloe.” For in that moment you will understand, and be freed. I will free you. And I will end you. Trust me.

(The camera closes in on the anger and fury in Chloe's eyes as they fade....

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is sitting...playing with her phone. Probably solitaire again, but this time on her tablet. Her Skype window opens and it's Davin.

DM: Hey squirt.

FW: I'm busy.

DM: Losing your latest solitaire game?

FW: What is it?

DM: Did you look at the files I sent you.

FW: Um...yes...yes I did.

DM: Uh huh. What did you think about the new move?

FW: I um...I think it's doable, I'll just need to... uh... practice it.

DM: Fire...

FW: Yeah?

DM: I didn't send you a new moveset.

FW: Oh...

DM: You didn't look at the files.

FW: No, I didn't.

DM: We will talk about your honesty issues later. And I put read-receipts on them--

FW: What are those?

DM: Things that let me know you've not opened my e-mail. And, through the miracle of modern technology I can open them now and go over them with you.

FW: *eyeroll* yay.

DM: I can see you. I think I know what might help pep you up a little.

FW: A vacation?

DM: New entrance music.

FW: What's wrong with "Warchild?"

DM: It's very 1970s. Were you even born?

FW: So I'll just go back to "Firewoman."

DM: Very 1980s. Try the first one.

Firewoman opens the first link.



FW: Not bad, I guess...

DM: It's got good energy and the lyrics kind of fit the journey you've been on.

FW: Maybe...

DM: Okay, if you don't like that...there's this....





FW: Hm.....a little dark. I love it.

DM: I thought you might. Then there's this...



FW: YEAH!!!!

DM: The only thing is those last two don't necessarily match your new direction here.

FW: Huh?

DM: This might be the best...



FW: I like it...but...

DM: But what?

FW: Fallout Boy...it's like a new band.

DM: Yeah, they aren't a million years old sucking oxygen between songs while on tour. And there's a chance that our target audience have heard of them.

FW: Do I have to decide?

DM: Yes, Fire, you do. It's YOUR entrance music.

FW: Dammit, can't we just put a poll up on OOWF.com?

DM: ....

FW: ...

DM: Not a bad idea...I'll see if I can make it happen. Okay, gotta go, your in laws are taking us to some annoying fancy dinner. I have to wear a suit.

FW: I wish we were there, too. It's so unfair.

DM: Why should you guys be tortured, too? See you later, squirt.

The screen clicks off, and Firewoman starts playing the videos back to back, at the same time, or switching manicly between them, which confused and annoys the INC so we fade out.

[BookerShark]

Mai is on Skype with her mom, Riki Muyo. The conversation is entirely in Japanese, but the clip has subtitles.

Mai: <Mom! Happy Christmas!>

Riki: <Thank you, Beloved. Happy Christmas to you as well.>

Mai: <How are you doing? I'm so sorry we can't be home. They have us working and - >

Riki: <I am fine. You should be at work. I will see you again when you come to Japan again. But I want to talk about how you are doing. You are not happy.>

Mai: <I am fine, Mom.>

Riki: <No, you are not happy. Junichiro is good for nothing right now, and you are missing your friends.>

Mai: <I have some friends. There's this boy...>

Riki: <A boy??>

Mai: <No! Not like that. But there's a boy who - he's kind of a...> "daredevil."

Riki: "Dah-dev-ill?" <The comic book you liked?>

Mai: <No no. Like a crazy stunt person. But he was telling me to just ride, just let me be me, and I will be fine. But that is so unsatisfying.>

Riki: <He is not wrong. You need to be you. But that does not just mean avoiding pressure, or bad people, or bad influence. You need to be actively you.>

Mai: <I do not think I understand?>

Riki: <Who are you? You are not a...> "Dah-dev-ill." <You are not just a church girl either. You have certain skills and abilities. There are things you love. Do you still love magic?>

Mai: (laughs) <I am getting a little old...>

Riki: (abruptly) <That was not an answer.>

Mai: ...<Yes.>

Riki: <Take control the way you want...> (Pause) <The computer is freezing. I will call back later.>

Riki hangs up. Mai reaches into her bag and pulls out a deck of cards from a worn casing. She fans them all out and looks at them - full deck. She turns the deck over and shuffles. She counts quietly. She shuffles faster. She slams the deck down. She pulls the first four cards.

Ace of Spades. Ace of Hearts. Ace of Clubs. Three of Diamonds.

Mai: ...Almost.

Mai's thumb moves slightly. She sees the Ace of Diamonds poke out from behind the three. She drew five cards. Mai smiles.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Governor Paul LePage is sitting at his desk when a staffer bounces up to him.

Staffer: Junichiro Muyo is here to see you.

LePage: Who? No.

Staffer: He said to tell you he’s a friend of Penny Poundcake?

Gov. LePage turns pale.

LePage: Let him in.

Ecosystem, dressed to the nines in a suit, walks into the Governor’s office. He sits down at a chair across from LePage.

LePage: What the hell do you want?

Eco: Let me introduce myself. My name is Junichiro Muyo. Like you, I am a businessman. Like you, I pretend to be a Roman Catholic when it suits me.

LePage: You will excuse—

Eco: Hiring family, pissing on the NAACP, calling the IRS the Gestapo, rape jokes – they’re all a clever act. The equivalent of a magician waving his hand to draw his audience’s eye while he sets up the trick with his other. I have a magician in the family, I’m used to it.

Everyone sees the boorish lout with the redneck comments, and they think that’s all the dirt there is to find. Silliness. A man doesn’t go from being made homeless by an abusive father to the governor of a state by having a Duck Dynasty-level mind.

Why did you and your first wife get divorced, Paul? Was it irreconcilable differences? Or was it a gap-toothed Canadian prostitute and one night of fun you thought you could behind you after she died?

LePage: You’re here to take me down.

Eco: No. I’m speaking softly and carrying a big stick. No, I’m here waving an AK-47 and asking you politely for five bucks. All I want, Paul, all I want to make the tape go away –

LePage: WHAT?

Eco: Oh. You didn’t know there was a tape. A lady has to protect herself, Paul.

LePage sits back, stunned.

Eco: Now, aside from being a businessman, I am a professional wrestler. And I have a friend who is also a professional wrestler, one of the true greats. A big round white guy, just like you, who came from nothing, just like you. It will make total sense when you get up during your press conference tomorrow, and bestow on him one of Maine’s greatest civilian honors…

…well, you can decide for yourself what the award will be named. I’ve already had a trophy made and delivered to your office. A big one too. Real nice. It’ll make you both look slim.

LePage: (weakly) …you cannot threaten me like this.

Eco: I’m not threatening you, Paul. Because if I was threatening you …that would mean this meeting happened. And neither of us wants this meeting to have happened. Right?

LePage: …Right.

Eco: Pleasure not doing business with you, Paul. And thank you so much for calling me in to let me know you were giving an award to my friend. And no, I don’t mind at all that you briefly forgot my name.

You won’t forget it again.

FADE

[BookerShark]

It’s hours before the Christmas edition of Mayhem, with Christian Carter, Jason Allen, DK Murphy, Chris Evans, and Danny Taylor are all in a room. It’s the time they’re given to go over strategy. Carter stands up, and starts to talk.

CC: Lets get one thing straight here…3 of you I can’t stand, but here we are, teamed for this stupid Team Warfare event. I don’t like it like the rest of you, but as your team captain, it’s imperative that we one of the two last teams in that battle royal…After that, the gloves come off.
Evans stands up and starts to speak.

CE: Who made you leader?

At that moment, both Jason Allen and Chloe stand up…Chloe has her trusty branding iron in hand. Evans looks at Taylor and Murphy, who just shake their head at Evans.

CC: Jason, Miss Neal…

He lays a hand on each shoulder, as to let them know it’s ok. Jason sits, as Chloe looks at Carter, wanting blood…
CC: Save it for our match Chloe…Save it for the Darlings.

Just the mere uttering of their name gives Chloe the shivers, and sits down.

CC: We all have to work together before we go down the road to beating the hell out of each other in the battle royal. Evans, you have Fulton, that is 3 points…you two, Williams may be tough, but Folz is nothing…you got your two points, and us three will take care of the Darlings and Eco…We will win this stupid challenge, and show that we are Team #1 for a reason…

Just then, Jose Reyna Jr. walks in, with his suit and tie on. He sees his partners, and their team members for a second before walking past them. He gets to Murphy, stops, gets a smug grin on his face, and walks to the back of the room.

DKM: What was he laughing about?

JA: Basically, he’s going to tear your sister a new asshole.

That immediately brings DK up and Jason jumps out of his seat, and the two stare each other down, foreheads pressed against each other. Chloe looks ready to jump out of her seat, looking at Taylor and Evans, but Carter places a hand on her shoulder, as he walks by and gets in between the two other men. He looks at Allen, and without a word, Allen sits back down. He looks at Murphy.

CC: The fact that Jose got picked to face your sister is not a concern of yours or ours…the only thing you need to concern yourself is with Folz and Williams. Your sister can take care of herself, just like the rest of you, this here is bigger than your agenda…the goal is to win, and we will do that. I’m not going to tell you to gunho this, and put your hands in and chant go team…no, what I’m going to tell you is, go out there, beat the living shit out of your opponent or opponents, win those points, and get us into that Battle Royal. That is what you are going to do.

With that, Carter smirks, grabs his phone, and starts to make a call, as he walks out the door.

[BookerShark]

Ecosystem is in a crowd with Stan Fulton, fixing his tie. LePage is speaking at a podium.

Eco: He’s going to say you’re an impressive man. You’re going to say thank you. He’s going to say you’re a role model for all those who thought they were chasing impossible dreams. You’re going to say thank you. You’re going to go up to the podium and thank the good people of Maine for the honor, and walk right off and say thank you when you shake hands. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Stan: You haven’t answered any of my questions on how you put this together.

Eco: And for not pushing further, I thank you. (Stan looks unconvinced.) Look, you want to be respected. Acknowledged. Build a legacy. Fuck the gatekeepers of pro wrestling. We do it our way. You’re up.

LePage beckons to Fulton. Fulton shoots Eco a look, but then proceeds up the stairs to the stage. Someone bumps into Eco from behind, and he turns around.

Mai: Sorry. Couldn’t see where I was going.

Eco: …Mai. Here to, um, here to see –

Mai: Stan receive his award? Of course. We can put aside petty disagreements when a friend receives such a high honor. The Triumphant Elk. Did Governor LePage name that on the car ride over?

Eco: Sarcasm doesn’t suit you.

Mai: Sorry, let me be less snide. I’m sure he did. And whatever you did to this man on Christmas Eve in the dead of night to make him host this stupid trophy ceremony wouldn’t bother me, except I strongly suspect that this little show…is just a practice run for something else.

Eco: Practice makes perfect. Now, if you have nothing nice to say, let me enjoy my friend’s award.

Mai: I got you a Christmas present.

Eco: Oh?

Mai reaches into her pocket…and takes out a fat wallet. Eco quickly feels his own pocket, finding it empty, and snatches his wallet back.

Mai: It’s a reminder. Be careful.

Mai walks away, into the crowd.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Early Christmas Eve, and Fire is sitting by herself with a gingerbread latte at the deserted Ric's sandwich shop. Ecosystem sits down.

FW: Sensei...I mean--

Eco: It's amazing how conditioning persists.

FW: It is indeed.

Eco: We're teammates again!

FW: Yeah...great....

Eco: New year...maybe new leaves all around.

FW: ...

Eco: ...

FW: ...

Eco: Yeah, I didn't think so.

FW: Baby steps. We're talking. And I know you want to win as badly as I do, and won't do anything to jeopardize our team.

Eco: Nor will you...

FW: Alex, however...

Eco: I promise to not give him any reason to unleash his long suppressed rage against me. Cross my heart!

Eco punctuates it by crossing his heart with his left hand and raising his right as for a solemn vow. Fire smiles slightly.

Eco: Why are you sitting here alone?

FW: Alex is shopping, last minute as usual. I guess everyone else's off doing Christmas Eve stuff, I guess. My holiday eve was a few days ago.

Eco: Right.

FW: Well, I still have a candle to light tonight.

Eco: So that's it? No rewriting an old movie for a series of promos? No crazy decorations? No burning down arenas by baking cookies?

FW: Nope. Not this year.

Eco studies her face, and she looks away, uncomfortably.

FW: That's enough.

Eco: Sorry. I just still know you so well, and I can tell when there's something--

Ecosystem is interrupted by Jason Allen coming in. He obnoxiously pulls up a chair to the table between them, sitting on it backward.

JA: Aw, isn't this cozy. What we talking about kids? I'm not interrupting something...romantic, am I?

Firewoman starts to make a move, but Eco stops her with a look.

JA: Still have that power over her, huh? Amazing. Don't worry, your secret liaison is safe with me.

Eco: It's not a liaison and it wouldn't be secret anyway...ninjacams.

JA: Talking strategy then? Save your self some time. No way are the three of you winning, in our three-way match. You all can barely stand to be in the same room together.

Eco: We manage. This isn't our first rodeo, and we've all teamed before. We can easily put aside our...differences--

JA: Is that what you call them...differences. That's hilarious.

Eco: Alexander and I can and have easily handled you and Carter.

JA: Yeah, well, your little disciple there is way less capable against Chloe.

At the mention of Chloe's name, Fire gets a blank look on her face. Eco looks at her oddly.

Eco: Chloe walked out of their last match, so I think the jury is out on that.

JA: We'll see. Maybe Fire will have to stop ducking her.

Ecosystem stands up, as does Jason. Eco grabs Jason by the lapels. Fire just sits there, and finally puts a hand on Eco's arm.

FW: Save it for tomorrow.

Eco nods and lets go.

JA: Aw...isn't that cute. Codependency makes for such a feel-good holiday story. But no worries, Fire.

Jason straightens his collar and smirks at an angry Ecosystem.

JA: See ya Wednesday, kids. Merry Christmas.

Jason saunters away. Ecosystem sits down angrily.

Eco: What is wrong with you?!

FW: *shrugging* We have at least four, maybe five matches tomorrow night. Save it for then.

Eco: *sitting down, but still looking at Fire somewhat dubiously* Look at you, working smarter, not harder. You sure that's--

FW: It is.

Ecosystem's phone rings. He scowls at it.

Eco: Sorry...there's a politician who wants to give Stan an award! Isn't that cool?

FW: Uh huh.  *sarcastically*  Gee, I wonder who gave him that idea?

Eco:  It's amazing, isn't it?

Eco leaves and as he's talking he looks in a shiny surface, seeing the Joker looking back at him, shaking his head. Eco ignores him and keeps going. The Joker looks back toward where Fire is sitting and glares, before fading.

Firewoman just sighs and gets up a few minutes later and heads back to her suite.[/i]

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams is sitting at Ric's, drinking coffee and staring into space. Matt Folz walks in and sits down across from him.**

MF: "L.D."

LDW: "...Matt."

MF: "Matt? Really? No insults?"

LDW: "Sorry - distracted."

MF: "Tell me you aren't still whining about what Myers said."

LDW: "One, I don't whine. Two, he may have a point."

MF: "Here we go..."

LDW: "I can't be Saint and be nice to everybody, can I?"

MF: "Why the fuck would I care?"

LDW: "Sorry, forgot who I was talking to - point is, I have some decisions to make."

MF: "Have fun with that. Do you think you can bury the existentialist crap long enough to focus on our match? I'd kind of like to be on the same page when we get into the ring."

LDW: "Matt, you and I don't have to be in the same library to beat Taylor and Murphy."

MF: "True - but it would look better if you at least showed up. Once we get to the battle royale though, feel free to lose all the focus you want."

**Williams chuckles as the camera fades.**

[BookerShark]

(The scene is one of the sleaziest taverns in Baldhead. At the bar we see a woman, her head resting atop the bar. She is surrounded by hurricane glasses, most of which are empty, but one is half full of what looks to be a frozen strawberry margarita. In walks what looks to be a typical sleazy patron who sees only the one woman at the bar. He walks up and makes the typical “Hey babe” type of comment. Edra Neal sits up, gives the slimeball a shot in the old fishing tackle, grabs his hair, pounds his head into the bar three times, press slams him over the bar, takes another drink of her margarita, then drops her head back onto the bar. The bartender comes over, drags the unconscious loser to the back door, grabs him by the ankles and tries to get money to fall out, then throws him out the back into the night. He dusts off his hands, picks up the wallet and cash that fell out, and walks back to the bar.)

BT: Miss Neal, I think you've had enough....

Edra: and I think we've already had this discussion, Irv....

(Edra sits up somewhat woosy and looks at the bartender strangely.)

Edra: How many of you are there, Irving?

BT: Just one, Miss Neal.

(Edra begins counting)

Edra: Nope, jus' four. Sixx more to go until I'm done. (puts her head back on the bar)

BT: Miss Neal, I really...

Edra: I like you, Irv, baby. You were sho accc..acc..hepful when you told me you dint know how to make a proper drink. I brought you a mixer, ten pounds of strawberries, and twenty pounds of ice. Now you make a damned good Schtrawberry Margarita Surprise.

BT: And don't think I don't appreciate that, Miss Neal. It's just that, well, it's late, and I need to go home to my family...

Edra: Awwwwww, Irv, you have a family? I had a family...until my fucking lame ass sister made it a disaster. My dad's dead, my stepmom's mad, my girlfriend hates me because of my sister, and I'm supposed to be wresting tomorrow night...and I don't have a match...and I'm schtuck here in....where are we?

BT: Baldhead, Maine.

Edra: Baldhead. Guesh that makes you Captain Picard.

BT: Look, jokes aside, I need to close. Can I call you a taxi?

Edra: Shhure. I'm a taxi. Hahahhaahhaha...

BT: (picks up phone, then hangs it up) Damned cheap ass phone. I'll call from the back.

(The bartender steps into the back room. Moments later a man walks in to the bar.)

Man: You called for a ride?

Edra: Ah, my chariot awakes...awaits. Lead on, my good mans.

Man: This way.

(The man leads Edra out of the bar and to the street. He opens the door to the black car and Edra basically falls inside.)

Edra: Oh, sorry, didn't mean to...hey, who are you...mmmph.

(A piece of duct tape gets slapped over Edra's mouth by one of the three people in the back seat who swarm the big woman and begin beating the crap out of her. The door shuts and the car speeds off. After speeding around several places in Baldhead, the car pulls up near the arena and dumps the big woman out of the car. Her feet and hands are tied and the duct tape remains over her mouth, her clothes ripped and tattered. No one comes out to assist the unconscious woman as we fade...)

[BookerShark]

We cut to Matt Folz in the middle of a Public Service Announcement.

MF: I'm OOWF Superstar Matt Folz. The holidays are a time for fun and family, but more importantly a time to be safe. That's why I've joined the pledge never to text and drive. No text is worth a life, it can wait.

Director: And cut. We got it, thank you Mr. Folz. Merry Christmas.

MF: Same to you and your family, thank you.

Matt fakes a smile while he shakes hands and exchanges kind words with the crew until he and Jaime walk outside towards their car.

MF: How in the hell did I let you talk me into this? Since when the hell do I do Public Service Announcements?

JF: Because darling, you're on the verge of becoming World Champion. And therefore the public face of the biggest and best wrestling company in the world. So you'd better get used to PSA's, Public Appearances, Make a Wish things, etc.

MF: Doesn't mean I have to like it.

JF: No, it doesn't. But you have to at least fake it.

MF: Fine.

Matt and Jaime walk to their car. Jaime hesitates, as if wondering if she wants to start this conversation.

JF: Matt?

MF: Yes?

JF: Promised to never lie to me right?

MF: Never have and don't intend to now.

JF: Good, then look me in the eyes and tell me what happened the night of your bachelor party.

MF: What do you mean?

JF: Everything about that night was off. You trying to call me, sending Firewoman and Alexander Darling to stay in the extra bedroom of our suite, and ever since then your attitude towards the Suicide Kings has changed completely. They went from minor pains in your ass to bothering the hell out of you. You've turned every match against them since into a brawl, and that's completely out of character for you. You're the best technical wrestler on earth, not a brawler. So, what happened?

MF: I'm asking you not to ask me that question.

JF: I'm asking. What happen....

MF: THEY THREATENED YOU!

JF: The Kings?

MF: Yes. Your sociopathic ex flew them up in his private jet, they crashed my party and threatened you. And for the first time in my career, and one of the very few times in my life, I felt pure terror. So that's why I tried to track you down, and that's why I asked the Darlings to keep an eye on you. Because I don't know what I would have done if someone attacked you, you're the only person in this company I care about. And yeah, I always try to keep emotion out of it when I enter the ring. But every time I see one of those cocksuckers, especially Carter, all I can think about is strangling them until their eyes pop out of their fucking skulls.

JF: And you don't think that's exactly what they want?

MF: What?

JF: All 3 of them are cowards hon, they don't have the balls to actually go after me. And they KNOW that you're more talented than all 3 of them put together, so they have to get in your head. And they've clearly done that. Sunday they want you focused on losing your mind and injuring them, instead of what this match really is.

MF: And what's that?

JF: A World Championship Match. Sure, it's not the one on one match against Ghosthead that you'd prefer. And it is as you put it "A very Russo-ish clusterfuck of a stipulation". But it is a World Championship match none the less. You pin one of them, you accomplish all you've been working towards. THAT is what you need to focus on, not anything else.

MF: You're right.

Jaime smiles.

JF: You'll find over the course of our marriage that I usually am.

MF (Laughing): Yes dear.

JF: Ready for your match tonight?

MF: Before one of our many, many matches against each other LD once said about me "He's an asshole with more pure wrestling ability than he knows what to do with". I took that as the compliment I believe he meant it as, and have the same sentiments about him. If I have to be put in a random tag match with anyone on the roster, he's the only acceptable answer. Watch us put on a show tonight.

JF: Good, you sound like yourself again.

MF: Hmm, do have most of the afternoon before I have to get to the arena. Any ideas on how you'd like me to pay you back for this little pep talk?

JF: Well, we do have about a hundred positions we haven't tried yet.

MF: Lady's choice.

JF: Isn't it always?

Both laugh as they walk to their car and we...... FADE.

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Baldhead, Maine
December 25, 2013

CHRISTIAN CARTER, JASON ALLEN &CHLOE vs. FIREWOMAN, ALEXANDER DARLING & ECOSYSTEM

This one starts off quickly with Christian and Allen attacking Fire and Alex while Chloe goes after Eco. The six brawl around the ring, and it is nearly ten minutes before we get anything that resembles a tag match. Christian, Allen and Chloe dominate early, keeping Eco trapped in their corner. The OOWF founder takes quite a beating, but he manages to fight out of the corner and make a tag to Alex.

Alex comes in and takes over, knocking Chloe and Allen to the floor, then KILLS Christian in the corner with a running knee to the face. Fire and Alex fall back into their Phoenix Rising days and use quick tags to wear Carter down and get several near falls. Fire tries a clothesline, but Carter ducks and nearly decapitates Fire with a clothesline. Carter makes the desperation tag to Chloe while Fire tags in Eco, and the two of them brawl madly in the middle of the ring. Eco starts getting the better of the exchange, so Chloe pulls a chain from her boot and is about to use it. The referee tries to stop her, so she nails the referee! The ref hits the mat, Fire and Alex come in, and the brawl is on!

After a few minutes, the referee comes around and immediately calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 20:21 by disqualification, Firewoman, Alexander Darling & Ecosystem

Team 1 – 0
Team 2 – 0
Team 3 – 1
Team 4 - 0

AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE, MIRANDA WILLIAMS & ALEXIS DARLING vs. MAI MUYO, TOMMY WILDER & JUSTIN SANE

Handshakes to start this one. Justin heads to the corner with Bill and has to be reminded that he is not teaming with Bill tonight. Justin looks confused, but heads to his corner. Miranda and Tommy start off with some chain wrestling that has the fans on the edge of their seats. As Miranda backs toward the corner, Alexis tags herself in and goes after the Intercontinental champ. Tommy gets a two count after he hits a cross body from a corner whip. Alexis slaps the mat in frustration and Tommy tags in Justin.

Justin charges into the ring and locks up with Lexie and she sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop kick that sends him over the top rope to the floor. Lexie doesn’t give Justin a second to recover, she throws him back into the ring and covers, but Justin kicks out at two. The match continues on, the two teams are very evenly matched and the crowd is hot for both teams. Bill and Justin are each tagged in, and the two of them meet in the ring for the first time. They both rear back to throw a punch, then stop and look around at the crowd, they hug, then head to their corners. Lexie once again tags herself in while Justin tags Miranda. Miranda and Lexie chain wrestle some, Miranda goes for a MOONSAULT but Lexie moves out of the way. As Miranda gets to her feet, Lexie grabs an inside cradle, Miranda rolls at two and Lexie’s shoulders get caught on the mat for the three!
WINNERS in 29:11 – Mai Muyo, Tommy Wilder & Justin Sane

The two teams exchange handshakes again, except for Alexis, she looks disgusted and just leaves and heads to the back

Team 1 – 0
Team 2 – 0
Team 3 – 1
Team 4 – 1

DANNY TAYLOR & DK MURPHY vs. MATT FOLZ & LD WILLIAMS

Very physical match here. The four men are very familiar with one another and the match stays relatively clean. Neither team can maintain an advantage for long. Danny and DK work together a little better, but LD and Folz surprise with their cohesiveness as a unit. Both sides get several near falls, LD hits a CANADIAN DESTROYER on Murphy and gets a two, but DK gets his foot on the bottom rope at the last second. The match continues on and on at a breakneck pace, both teams get numerous two counts, with Danny hitting the DYNAMITE DROP on Folz, Folz catching Danny with a TOP ROPE OLYMPIC SLAM, and DK hitting the CHOMP on LD.

After over 45 minutes of action, DK catches Folz on the top rope, the two of them jockey for position, both nearly falling several times. Finally DK is able to hook Folz, and hits a TOP ROPE CHOMP! The crowd gasps, Folz may be DEAD! DK covers, one……two……THREE! LD is just a fraction of a second too late.
WINNERS in 47:55 – DK Murphy & Danny Taylor

Team 1 – 2
Team 2 – 0
Team 3 – 1
Team 4 – 1

MOOSEHEAD JACK & STANK vs. TEXPRESS

For all the scientific wonder the last match was, this one is the complete opposite. Moose and Stank storm the ring to start things off and the two teams brawl. Moose goes after Chad with a vengeance and it is not long before both are busted open. On the other side of the ring, Stank and Zane batter one another with clubbing shots and chops. Stank sends Zane into the guardrail, then charges in after him for a knee to the face, but Zane moves, well, falls, and Stank crashes knee first into the steel and collapses to the floor.

Across the ring, Moose and Chad are tearing at one another. Moose rakes Chad’s eyes and lifts him and hits an APRON POWERBOMB! Chad grabs his back in pain and falls to the floor. Moose races around the ring and attacks Zane from behind and rolls him into the ring and just blatantly chokes him. Zane fights back after the ref forces Moose to break the hold. The match eventually settles into a tag match, more or less. Chad is favoring his back while Stank shows a noticeable limp from slamming his knee into the steel. Before long, all four men are a bloody mess.

The end comes when Moose grabs a chair and goes after Chad, but Chad SUPERKICKS the chair back into Moose’s face! Moose staggers backward and Zane grabs him around the waist and hits a BRIDGINNG GERMAN SUPLEX dumping Moose right on the back of his head! Chad cuts Stank off, and Moose rolls his shoulder just a fraction of a second too late.
WINNERS in 30:44 – Texpress

The fight continues after the bell, security finally comes down and gets the two teams apart, but you can tell Moose and Chad CAN NOT wait until Sunday

Team 1 – 2
Team 2 – 0
Team 3 – 3
Team 4 – 1

CHRIS EVANS vs. STAN FULTON

Former New Guard members square off in this one. Fulton has the size advantage while Evans has the speed. Early on Evans uses his speed advantage to pepper Fulton with shots and keep the big man off balance. Evans catches Fulton with repeated enzuguris leaving the big man on wobbly legs. Evans heads to the corner and leaps at Fulton attempting a TORNADO DDT but Fulton catches him and DRIVES him to the mat with a sit out slam driving all the wind out of him.

Fulton takes over and uses his size and strength to keep Evans grounded. Fulton punishes Evans with power moves, working on his ribs and legs. Stan lifts Evans and hits a BUCKLE BOMB, then as Evans staggers out of the corner, Fulton hits a running, spinning elbow to the side of the head that sends Evans out of the ring to the floor. Fulton follows and continues the punishment by driving Evans into the guardrail before finally rolling him back into the ring for a two count.

Evans capitalizes on a Fulton mistake, he charges into the corner but Evans moves at the last second, and starts kicking the big man’s legs, but Fulton will not go down. Evans heads to the top again and tries a flying clothesline, but Stan catches him with a BLACK HOLE SLAM! Stan gets to his feet quickly and hits the DROP LINE! He covers and gets the three count!
WINNER in 26:10 – Stan Fulton

Team 1 – 2
Team 2 – 3
Team 3 – 3
Team 4 – 1

DANIELLA MURPHY vs. JOEY REYNA

It comes down to this match. If Daniella wins, her team gets the win, if Reyna wins, team 4 picks up the win and goes to the battle royal. Reyna attacks Daniella before the match and hammers her with punches and kicks, then dumps her over the top rope to the floor. Reyna waits for he to get to her feet, then runs the apron and hits a flying knee to the face that sends Daniella crashing into the guardrail. Reyna grabs a chair and swings at Murphy, but she moves out of the way and the chair bends across the steel. Daniella slides back into the ring and motions for Reyna to bring it.

Reyna slides in and tries a clothesline, but Daniella ducks it and peppers Joey with punches to the face. As she backs Reyna into the corner, she looks at the crowd and then unleashes a barrage of chops. The fans WOOOOOOOO! This the whole time, and when she is finally done, Reyna’s chest looks like hamburger meat. Reyna staggers out of the corner and Daniella grabs him for a belly to back suplex, but Reyna gouges her eyes causing her to release her grip and stagger across the ring.

Reyna nails Daniella with a LUNGBLOWER and covers, but she kicks out at two. Reyna POPS her with a SUPERKICK, but Daniella will not go down. He hits a second, then a third and Daniella bellows like a wounded animal and charges at Reyna and takes him down with a SPEAR! Reyna falls out of the ring to the floor. And Daniella charges and dives between the ropes, but Reyna catches her with a stiff kick to the face! Daniella falls to the floor, glassy eyed, blood pouring from her nose. Reyna pulls her up and rolls her into the ring and covers, but Daniella somehow kicks out at two. Joey pulls her up and lifts her for a slam, but as he drops her, Daniella keeps hold of his arm and traps him in a FUJIWARA ARM BAR! Reyna howls in pain, and it looks like he will tap, he gets he feet beneath him and rolls Daniella up, grabs a handful of tights AND puts his feet on the middle rope, DARLING FINISH! Daniella cannot kick out, and Reyna picks up a big win for him and his team!
WINNER in 15:57 – Joey Reyna

Team 1 – 2
Team 2 – 3
Team 3 – 3
Team 4 – 4

GHOSTHEAD vs. YUKON CORNELIUS – Non-title Match

Yukon Cornelius is in the ring first, the crowd favorite waves to the fans as Ghost makes his way to the ring. The second the bell rings, Ghost attacks with a fury we haven’t seen from the mysterious man for a long time. Ghost batters Cornelius mercilessly hitting the PHANTASMAGORIA several times. Ghost snarls and hauls him up for it one more time, then DRIVES him to the mat. He covers, but at this point, it is completely academic.
WINNER in 3:26 – Ghosthead

The crowd boos Ghost as he stands in the middle of the ring soaking in the victory. They begin to cheer as Yukon struggles to his feet, Ghost turns and sees Yukon stand, and unleashes a cloud of BLACK MIST into his face! Cornelius hits the mat clawing at his eyes. Ghost stands there with a satisfied smirk on his face, then leaves as EMT’s hit the ring to check on Yukon.

WINNERS BATTLEROYAL

LD Williams, Mai Muyo, Justin Sane, Matt Folz, Tommy Wilder and Joey Reyna are all announced and make their way to ringside. As soon as he gets into the ring, Reyna tries to throw a SUPERKICK at Wilder, but Tommy ducks and Reyna hits Justin who tumbles between the ropes to the floor. Reyna looks around the ring and helps LD fight off Mai and Folz. Tommy Wilder climbs to the top rope and remains perched there for a moment, when LD turns around, he unleashes a MISSILE DROPKICK that sends LD over the top rope, but the cagey veteran lands on his feet. Mai grabs him and tries to shove him off the apron, but LD grabs the top rope and holds on for dear life. LD slips under the bottom rope and makes it back into the match. From the outside, we see Justin grab the apron to pull himself up. Before we see his head, he grabs Mai’s ankle, she turns to look and Folz nails Mai from behind sending her over the top rope to the floor.

Mai Muyo has been eliminated

Joey Renya grabs Wilder and throws him over the top rope, but Wilder holds on and skins the cat and gets back into the action. He charges at Reyna but Joey lands a drop toe hold that sends Wilder flying to onto the middle rope, just as Justin was climbing onto the apron! Justin and Tommy slam heads, Justin falls off the apron to the floor, Wilder is dazed. He gets to his feet and LD grabs him and LAUNCHES him over the top rope to the floor!

Tommy Wilder has been eliminated

LD, Folz and Reyna eye one another, then LD and Folz go after one another with chops and punches. They fight in the corner, while Reyna just sits back and watches the action unfold around him. LD unleashes some CANADIAN VIOLENCE in the corner and beats Matt to the mat, then pulls him up and sets him on the top rope and tries a SUPERPLEX, but Matt fights it off and slams LD in the face with a headbutt! LD falls back into the ring. Folz stands on the top rope and calls for a FLYING ELBOW, just before he leaps, Justin reaches up and grabs the top rope and tries to pull himself into the ring, it is just enough to knock Folz off balance, he falls off the top rope and crashes on top of Justin, and they both hit the floor!

Matt Folz has been eliminated

Inside the ring, LD and Reyna go at it. Folz is escorted to the back and Justin struggles to his feet and looks at the ring and we can see he is deep in thought. Frustrated at his inability to get into the ring Justin devises a plan. He gets a ladder and leans it against the corner and begins to climb. Inside the ring, LD sees the ladder and tries to whip Reyna into it, but Joey reverses the whip and LD smacks into the ladder face first. He crumples to the mat, blood running down the side of his face. The force of LD hitting the ladder causes Justin to slip, and he crotches himself on the ladder, then falls, hanging upside down, which quickly causes him to tap out, but you can’t submit in a battle royal, can you? Awesome Bill and Ellie May race to the ring before it is too late, but before they can free Justin we hear……….

DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWK

……then the sound of sleigh bells, the opening strains of Jingle Bell Rock, wassailing, presents being torn open and finally the Charlie Brown Christmas song. When the lights come back on, LD Williams is lying in the middle of the ring out cold. Joey Reyna is just standing there looking shocked, Justin is still hanging upside down on the ladder and Bill and Ellie are also standing there……what the? Bill and Ellie May grab Justin and pull him off the ladder, and they lift him onto the apron. Justin steps between the ropes and looks SO proud that he is finally in the ring! Reyna grabs LD and pulls him up and launches him over the top rope to the floor, as he flies over the top rope, his boot catches Justin right upside the head!

LD Williams has been eliminated

Justin staggers around the ring barely able to stand up. Reyna measures him and charges at him, just before he hits the clothesline, Justin falls backward and grabs the top rope trying to save himself, but he low bridges Joey and Reyna sails over the top rope and hits the floor with a thud! Justin wins!

Joey Reyna has been eliminated
WINNER – Justin Sane!

Ellie May and Bill roll into the ring and help Justin to his feet and celebrate. Justin has no idea what is going on. The crowd roars for them, and suddenly we hear jingle bells! Santa Claus comes down the ramp and steps into the ring. Justin and Bill just stare in awe. He reaches into his bag and pulls out an oversized check for $10,000. Justin and Bill are still staring wide eyed, and then you can see Justin get an idea, He grabs the check, hugs Santa and takes off up the ramp. Bill and Ellie May shrug, then celebrate in the ring with Santa as we fade to black

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the New Years Evil PPV, coming to you Live! Sunday December 29th, 2013 from Belcher, New York! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! Wednesday, January 1st, Live! From Quiggleville, PA. Did you see something you really liked? Post it here in the 2013 Awards Reminder Thread. Please join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights! And be sure to check out the full OOWF Archive and read up on the 9-year plus history of the OOWF!