MidWeek Mayhem (05/21) Live! From Shediac, New Brunswick

[wyattcox]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Shediac, New Brunswick, Canada
May 21, 2014

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Ghosthead vs. Mai Muyo

OOWF Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match
Alexis Darling vs. Stank vs. Firewoman

OOWF World Tag Team Title Fatal Fourway
Banned From Everywhere vs. Suicide Kings vs. Texpress vs. Tommy Wilder & Miranda Williams

Non-Title Match
Chloe vs. Ecosystem

Bunkhouse Brawl
Christian Carter, Moosehead Jack & Stan Fulton vs. Matt Folz, Alexander Darling & DK Murphy

Winner Gets an OOWF Onslaught Championship Match at the PPV
LD Williams vs. Chris Evans vs. Rory Albright

Shane Tuska vs. Power

card subject to Canadian-American exchange rate

[wyattcox]

Chloe

(Chloe is in the Saints of Sinners locker room after checking on Moose.)

Redemption in his eyes...their eyes. I should have been there to take care of the trash. But I want...desire...no, I need the redemption that this path takes me. I knew that getting little Lisa to face me was going to be a challenge. I just didn't know so many of her friends were going to get into the way.

(She picks up her branding iron and stares at it, as f she were talking to it.)

And now, it's Ecosystem. You and I just about ended him once. I slammed you and slammed you and SLAMMED YOU into his knee OVER and OVER and OVER. That was so wonderful. So exhilarating. So...erotic. Now I get another chance. One more time.

(She turns to face the Ninjacam)

Junichiro Muyo, make sure all your codicils and your trusts and your last will and testament are prepared. Because when I'm done with you, they may be necessary to settle your estate. I will end you, boy.

You were her Sensai. Now you will be...her undoing. Trust me.

Chloe sinks to her knees and grabs a cloth and begins polishing the branding iron, lost in thought as we fade.)

[wyattcox]

Moosehead Jack

<Moose walks/stumbles into the Saints locker room and flops down in a big overstuffed chair in the corner. He sits there for a moment with his eyes closed>

MHJ: yes......yes I know. I KNOW! I will do it. It's just a couple of matches.......fuck you......no I am NOT! NO! NO! NO! So what? So? Wins and losses don't mean anything in the end......NO. Goddamn right....

<Stan, LD, Stank and Chloe notice Moose talking and just assume he is on the phone.....then his phone rings. Moose picks it up, looks at it and turns it off>

MHJ: No.....NO! The fuck it is......he got lucky.....I AM NOT.....

Sta: How hard did he hit his head on that table?

LD: Pretty hard.....that was a nasty shot

SF: I should have given him that chair, fucking Darling.....

Sta: Not your fault Crush.....it happens

<Chloe gets up and walks over to Moose and drops to her knees in front of him>

Chloe: Jack?

<Moose looks around the room, seemingly trying to clear his mind>

Chloe: Who ya talkin to?

MHJ: <with an evil grin on his face> Oh.....no one. Lets go find a bar

<the Saints all nod and grin as we fade>

[wyattcox]

Matt Folz

We see Matt Folz and his gorgeous wife leaving the arena, each talking on a cell phone. We pick up Matt's half of his conversation.

MF: Mai, just calling to leave you a message saying good luck Wednesday. At this point you're far from needing my, or anyone else's, help... but if you want to work on anything, I'll be at the gym at 8 am tomorrow morning. Ghosthead's one of the best, toughest opponents I've ever been in the ring with, but I have absolute confidence that you're going to dethrone him next week. And you will be a great Champion... right up until I inevitably beat you. (Folz laughs) But we'll talk about that later, good luck Mai. Give me a call back when you get this.

Matt hangs up as Jamie finishes her conversation and hangs up.

JF: Want to talk about your match?

MF: Didn't go quite the way I wanted, seeing as they weren't both carried out on stretchers. But it's ok, I will get each of them in the ring one on one and when that happens they will pay. I promise you that. And if Carter's still not man enough to fill out that contract, I'll just have to go with the nuclear option.

JF: You're sure about that plan? As your wife, I'm just asking you to consider the consequences one more time. I mean, I know you can outwrestle him, that's not the issue. But if he somehow cheats his way into a victory....

MF: I'll only do it as a last resort, and only if you're on board.

JF: Tentatively yes, but like you said, only do it as a last resort.

MF: I promise. Let's just see what happens, maybe he'll grow a set of balls and fill out the contract.

JF: Ok. Who were you on the phone with?

MF: Leaving a message to wish Mai luck, you?

JF: Miranda.

MF: ah, talking about dinner plans tomorrow night?

JF: Yeah, but also something fun tomorrow afternoon. Want to come with us, get your mind off wrestling for a bit?

MF: Where are you guys going?

JF: Miranda had an idea: Her, Mai, Wilder, maybe Chad and Zane, and me all going base jumping. Want to come with us?

MF: ...

JF: What?

MF: ARE YOU INSANE??!

JF: Well, I did marry you.

MF: Touche, but seriously, count me out.

JF: Ah come on, it'll be fun.

MF: I don't even like being in a fucking plane, no chance in hell I'm going to agree to this.

JF: Sure?

MF: Yeah, you can go if you want, but just do me one favor ok?

JF: What?

MF: Try not to die, I'm never going to be lucky enough to have anyone like you put up with me for 5 minutes, let alone marry me.

Jamie smiles.

JF: That's probably very true. I'll be safe, I promise.

The couple walk off as we.....Fade

[wyattcox]

Murphys Law

*Fire is looking at a chessboard when her phone buzzes. She looks at the text*

FW: Poisoned pawn or Polugaevsky variation? Who the hell is the unknown caller texting me about that?

*A moment later her phone rings and she picks it up*

FW: Who is this?!!...Hell, number one why aren't you using your own phone, number two why didn't you tell me you played, and number three how's the rehab going?...OK, I get it...yeah, OK...good luck...yeah, whatever.

[wyattcox]

Tuska

The scene switches to the parking lot of the Blackwater Hotel outside of Presque Isle, Maine. Spider McNulty and Shane Tuska are loading their bags into the trunk of a rented Lincoln. Tuska's face is bruised, and he's got a mild black eye, wounds from the bout last night. McNulty, sporting a freshly shaved head and a similarly freshly dyed beard, shuts the trunk and slaps Tuska on the back. 

McNulty: No worries, kid. That Williams cat snuck one over on you. Can't win 'em all, eh, Shane?

Tuska says nothing. 

McNulty: And now we head to Canada. Feh. I hate Canada. All the broads are pale and all the beer is stale. The only good thing going for Canada is Tim Horton's Donuts, am I right, kid?

Tuska says nothing. 

McNulty: First dozen on me.

Tuska moves to the passenger door. McNulty shrugs and heads to the driver's seat. 

McNulty: I can't believe you've been hitchin' rides and sleepin' in truck stops to make towns, kid. You gotta learn to afford yourself some of life's little luxuries. We'll start with a ride in this fine American automobile, and then we'll move on to donuts. Tim Horton's has the best bea--

"Gluten free." 

McNulty abruptly stands back up, as he had been lowering himself into the driver's seat of the car. His eyes are wide. The sunglasses resting on top of his head fall off. Tuska's gaze, still at least somewhat blank, meets McNulty's. 

Tuska: I'm gluten free. No donuts.

McNulty: Well, I'll be damned! Tuska speaks! 

Tuska slumps into the passenger seat and shuts the door without another word. McNulty shrugs again and picks his sunglasses of the ground. He lowers himself into the car and cackles. 

McNulty: Gluten free. How do you get along in the wrestlin' business being gluten free? (he cackles again) Ah, who cares? You can watch me down a dozen of those glazed beauties from Horton's, and we'll find you some hippy dippy smoothie shop or somethin'. 

McNulty cranks up the engine and buckles up. 

McNulty: Hey, speakin' of smoothies, you got that chick Power one on one this comin' up Mayhem. Whoo boy, I'd like to go one on one with that thick necked broad, if you get my meanin'. You think I got a shot with her, kid?

Tuska says nothing. He hangs his head.

McNulty: Aw, I got a shot with her, alright. I might be gettin' old, but I can still spring for a steak dinner, Shane my boy. 

McNulty cackles again and shifts the car into drive. Fade as the Lincoln pulls out of the parking lot.

[wyattcox]

Power

(The SUV carrying Power and Sunny approaches the Canadian border. Sunny hands up some paperwork and speaks to the driver in an unrecognizable language. The driver moves to the side of the road and approaches the checkpoint in a non-travel lane. A guard stops them and examines the paperwork, looks at Power and Sunny in the back, looks at the paperwork again, back at Power and Sunny, then nods to the driver and pulls up a barricade and allows them to pass the waiting cars. Power just shakes her head.)

Power: You're gonna get so busted on that Diplomatic Immunity scam.

Sunny: Who says it's a scam?

Power: Well, obviously they're...I mean...are you?

Sunny: In due time, my love, in due time. Meanwhile, did you review my notes from last night?

Power: First out again. (Power sighs) Well, at least it was a clean pin by LD. That's why I hate these four ways.

Sunny: Clusterbombs.

Power: Yeah. But this week, one-on-one with Tuska. This should be...

(The guard not driving starts laughing. Sunny speaks sharply to him in another language, but the guard responds with something and she gets an incredulous look on her face and she starts laughing. She says something to the guard and he passes her a tablet. Power and Sunny skim through the Saints of Sinners promos and roll their eyes, laugh at Matt Folz's promo, and shake their head at Firewoman's chess promo. They watch Tuska's promo and Power smiles seeing that Tuska is Gluten Free. Power's eyes get big when Mcnulty suggests making a move on her. Sunny laughs at the expression on Power's face as the promo ends.)

Power: They have...they don't...no, no, no Sunny.

Sunny: Yes, yes, yes, my love. We should arrange a nice double date with the new boys in town.

Power: But that would be...

Sunny: Shhhhh...INCy's right over there. Mr. McNulty, we'd love the pleasure of dining with you and your charge. It could be a very...enlightening evening.

Power: Sunny, that's not...

Sunny: Here, drink. You're thirsty.

Power: I'm not...wait, I am. How did you...

Sunny: Just drink and we'll talk. This long ride has to have you worn out. You could probably use a nap.

Power: (Downs the bottle of water) I'm not...I'm...I guess you're right.

Sunny: Come here, cuddle.

(Power rests her head on Sunny's shoulder. In a few moments she is softly snoring. Sunny begins whispering into Power's ear as the SUV rolls on toward Shediac and the cameras fade.)

[wyattcox]

Firewoman


Firewoman and Lucky are standing on what is basically a sound stage dressed up to look like one of the vending stands at an OOWF event.  It is covered with Firewoman swag.

FW: I really don't like this...Can we go back to the --

L: You can't hide in the suites for...well, ever.

FW: Wanna bet?

L: This is supposed to take your mind off things. And despite what the reports say, you aren't THAT far ahead of Stank in the merchandise, and this will DEFINITELY drive that up.

FW: Okay....

Production: Okay you ready, Fire?

FW: Yep.

Lucky steps out of the frame.

Prod: Aaaaaaaaaaaand...ACTION!

FW: Hey there! Management tells me I have to update my theme song, and if you know anything about me, it's that I hate making these decisions. So we are leaving it up to YOU the OOWF Universe, to decide what my new theme music will be.

All you have to do is log in to OOWF.com and go to the link that says "Firewoman's New Music Poll". There are four choices--

Production: CUT...okay, here's where we will splice in the snippets of the songs, with the artists and lyrics on them...and....ACTION...

FW: See what a tough decision this is? That's why I am relying on YOU, OOWF Universe, to help me out here. As an incentive, you'll get a coupon code for 20 percent off all Firewoman apparel and merchandise. The polls are open, so let your voice be heard! You can vote as many times as you want, in case you're like me and can't decide WHICH Firewoman t shirt you want! Why not get both!

Prod: CUT! Okay...we'll probably put some video in here of you in the ring...aaaaaaaaaaaand ACTION.

FW: Whatever you decide, OOWF Universe, I'm sure it will sparkle with me.

Firewoman punctuates that last bit wit a wink and a big smile.

Prod: CUT! Thanks I think that was the best one yet....I'll get the final cut to Mr. Guttierez for his approval.

FW: Okay, thanks...can we go home now, Lucky?

Fire's smile has faded quickly and now she looks more panicked.

L: Yep, let's go. I found a back way that I don't think anyone knows about.

They start heading that way.

L: Think Stank's head will explode when he sees this?

FW: I hope not. Death would really bump up his sales....

FADE

[wyattcox]

Stan Fulton

FADE in at a bar at a very busy rest stop along the Trans-Canada Highway between Presque Isle, Maine and Shediac, New Brunswick. There are a lot of Labatt’s and Molson signs scattered around. The Saints of Sinners are at a table near the window. Moose’s Mustang is parked nearby. Fulton isn't in the room.

As they have a beer, one of the OOWF production trailers pulls up being hauled by a new Peterbilt 587 painted in metallic black. Out of the truck steps Stan Fulton. He checks his truck and then walks inside.

SF: “Hey.”

MHJ: “Stan. Where’s the truck I gave you?”

SF: “I traded up. I hope you don’t mind. I got a hold of a friend of Martha’s dad. He was able to trade in that ride you got me for this one. There’s a bill of sale now which the Board was adamant about me having to haul their trailers.”

MHJ: “Good enough. Have a beer.”

Fulton has a seat and orders a Smithwick’s (and he pronounces it Smid-icks).

SF: “So. You, me and Carter against Folz, Murphy and Reek.”

Chloe smiles.

LDW: “You and Folz. You have a past.”

SF: “Let’s just say he’s the only one of the three I won’t concern myself with breaking limbs.”

MHJ: “As long as Murphy and that lousy Darling get theirs.”

SF: “If Carter holds up his end.”

MHJ: “Let me worry about that. You worry about Darling. Murphy’s mine.”

SF: “No issues there. My ax handle is in the truck. I've decided though that it needs a name.”

C: “Any ideas?”

SF: “One. Bloody Mary.”

The Saints all smile.

C: “Not bad.”

Fulton looks outside as another rig pulls up. The OOWF logo and images of some of the wrestlers are plastered all over the trailer. The truck parks and the driver and passenger open the back of the trailer. They set up a table and stand.

LDW: “What the hell is that?”

SF: “My gift to Stank.”

S: “My gift? What did you do?”

SF: “I bought all of the OOWF’s Stank merch. Every single item they had in stock is now mine. And now I’m giving it away at every stop between here and Shediac. I mean to have everyone at Mayhem wearing Stank merchandise. Plus you now lead Fire in sales.”

S: “Oh that’s priceless.”

SF: “Call it an early Victoria’s Day present.”

The Saints all clink-drink as we FADE.

[wyattcox]

LD Williams

**While the other Saints are out browsing the Stank merchandise, L.D. Williams drops an unmarked bankers box on the table in front of Stank. Stank looks it over and turns it idly on the table.**

S: " I give. What is it?"

LDW: "Your future."

S: "..."

LDW: "..."

S: "...box is a little small."

LDW: "Do you know why you're losing to Fire in mechandise sales?"

S: "One - Fuck you. Two - I'm not losing to that woman in anything, especially now, thanks to Stan. Three - she cheats. Four - also Fuck you."

LDW: "Finished?"

S: "...mostly."

LDW: "Your problem is you don't take advantage of merchandise opportunities as fast as she does."

S: "That's because I don't have a Lucky."

LDW: "Ah, but you have me."

S: "...*

LDW: "..."

S: "...and that's good?"

LDW: "Just look in the box."

**Stank takes the lid off the box and pulls out a book.**

S: "Stank's International Scrabble Dictionary - Your Guide to High Scores When You're Oot and Aboot."

LDW: "Guaranteed best seller."

S: "..."

LDW: "Fine. Keep looking."

**Stank takes a CD (remember those?) case out of the box.**

S: "I'm Taking This and Other Stories. How Kleptomania Can Improve Your Life."

LDW: "It won't be a CD, of course. We'll sell it online as an audio book."

S: "...I hate you."

LDW: "Yeah, I figured self-help was a little too progressive for you. We'll skip that one."

**Stank reaches back into the box and lifts out a board game.**

S: "Scrabble-U. With extra U's for Canadian competition."

LDW: "Brilliant, isn't it?"

S: "..."

LDW: "What? I'd put my name on it."

S: "You'll be wearing it in a second..."

LDW: "There is NO pleasing you is there?"

S: "Allan, what have you done with L.D.?"

LDW: "Really? I bring you brilliant marketing and you make Attitude Adjuster jokes?"

S: "..."

LDW: "..."

S: "..."

LDW: "He helped with the audio book title - but the idea was mine!"

S: <sigh>

LDW: "Look, there's one more thing in the box - and this one I know you'll love."

**Stank pulls an action figure out of the box.**

S: "I'm Taking This Stank with velcro door, desk and Drunkette."

LDW: "I wanted to include a truck, but it pushed the price point too high."

S: "Screws up the alliteration too."

LDW: "Also that. Maybe we can do a playset version..."

**Stank looks at the action figure from different angles, and actually seems amused by it.**

LDW: "So? What do you think?"

**Stank finishes his coffee and gets up.**

S: "I'm taking this. I'm taking this action figure."

LDW: "I KNEW you'd love it."

**Stank turns to walk away.**

LDW: "Wait - what about the rest of this stuff?"

S: "...not even for a gimmick."

**L.D. glares at Stank's retreating back.**

LDW: "I'm going to make a FORTUNE on ebay you know!"

<fade>

[wyattcox]

Tommy Wilder

Miranda, Chad, Mai, Jamie and Tommy are standing on top of a cell tower, which is on top of a sheer peak somewhere in New Brunswick - Zane is down in the SUV at the bottom…

Mai – What an incredible view!

Jamie: Yeah. Just gorgeous. Matt should have come.

Mai: Do you think he would have?

Jamie: No, he's got his mind on business.

Miranda – (Looks over the side) – That is a looong way down.

Tommy: Yup. You need the height for the 'chute to catch you. Pleanty of room here, as long as you don't freak out and faint… Chad.

Chad: (Punches Tommy in the arm) – Hey, at least I'm up here.

TW: Yeah, hey speaking of the devil –(Clicks on his radio) – Hey, Zane – the view up here rocks, dude! Sure you don't wanna come with us?

Zane: Heck and No. Someone has to survive this and appear on Mayhem this week. I'll stay here with the truck, a shovel and 911 on speed dial. How you can talk otherwise perfectly normal people into joining you on this crazy stuff stunts, I'll never know.

TW: Dude. It's call adrenaline.

Zane: Dude, if you all die not only will you screw up the 4 way tag team match, but you'll piss of LD.

Chad: And Matt.

Jamie: Oh, he'll definitely want to kill you.

Mir: (Loud enough for Zane to hear) – We'll be fine! And my dad doesn't know half the crazy stuff I've done!

Chad: Thank goodness.

(Now Miranda punches Chad in the arm)

Mai: Could we jump base now?

TW: Other way 'round – Base Jump. OK, you cats remember what I told you, right?

Mai: Stand on the rail, jump out and arch your back to get away from the side, count to 5 and pull the green handle. Grab the blue ropes, pull left or right to guide yourself to the ground.

TW: Bingo. And if the main chute doesn't open – but it will, I packed 'em myself – pull the red toggle. That's the back up.

Chad: Let's do this!

Mai: I'm ready.

Miranda: Let's go!

(Everyone climbs on the rail)

Jamie: Tommy, aren't you jumping?

TW: Oh heck yes!

Jamie: Where is your chute?

TW: Hey. I'm Tommy 'No Gravity' Wilder! I don't need no stinkin' chute!

(Tommy jumps out into space – sans chute.)

Mai, Miranda, Jamie: TOMMY!!!!!

Chad: That crazy lunatic! WILDER!!!!!!

(Wildler opens his arms and legs, revealing he is wearing a "flying squirrel suit", and begins gliding on the air currents)

Jamie: Oh my.

Mai: OK, he does that on purpose.

Chad: OK, let's jump. 'Cause when we get to the ground, I'm gonna pound the tar outta him.

Miranda: No, no you won't. He's MY tag partner this week.

I'M gonna pound the tar out of him.


(All 4 Jump, and chutes open, and they glide in wide circles to the ground)

WAAAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!!!

[wyattcox]

Tuska

Cut to the backstage area at a New Brunswick fan event. People are milling about, both eager fans with backstage passes and production assistants corralling various OOWF superstars to their booths for appearances. Spider McNulty walks through, his sunglasses resting atop his bald scalp, his eyes darting back and forth, looking for someone. He spies Sunny and Power, flanked by their guards, leaving a booth and heading for catering. McNulty's trademark smirk stretches across his face. He puffs his chest up and saunters over. 

McNulty: Ladies!

The guards quickly close in, stepping in front of the two women. Sunny smiles knowingly as Power sighs and faceplams. 

Sunny: Gentlemen, it's alright. Mr. McNulty, how nice to see you. Where's your... friend?

McNulty: He's in some dark corner somewhere, doin' whatever the hell he does at these things. Don't worry about him, I hear you ladies wanna hit the town with the Spider!

The guards look at each other and roll their eyes. Power shakes her head.

Sunny: We would be delighted. Would you like for our limousine to pick you up?

Spider eyes the entourage and grunts. 

McNulty: If these guys are coming, then, yeah, we'd better take your stretch. I ain't got room in the Lincoln for all these stiffs. Say, Power, what's your favorite flower?

McNulty is practically salivating. Power looks at Sunny, and back McNulty, seemingly befuddled.

Power: Uh... lilac?

McNulty: Huh, glad I asked. I pegged you for a rose lady. Thought all you dames liked roses. You got it, babe, lilacs for you. Uh, Sunny... don't expect much in the way of conversation from our boy Shane. He's not exactly a social butterfly. 

Sunny maintains her catlike smile. She places her arm in Power's, and the guards take position to move. 

Sunny: I'm sure it will be a very enlightening evening for all of us, Mr. McNulty. 

McNulty: (oblivious) Ha! You bet your ass! We're at the Motel 6 outside of town. (Everyone but Sunny rolls their eyes again) How about 7 o' clock?

Sunny: That should do fine. Thank you, Mr. McNulty. 

The entourage makes their way through, a few fans snapping pics from a distance. McNulty watches them go and puts his shades on. 

McNulty: Hot DAMN that Power is a whole lotta woman! Better go find the weight room. 

An enthusiastic fan with a neckbeard in a Firewoman t-shirt skips up, with a Mayhem program and Sharpie in hand. McNulty looks the pasty young man up and down. 

McNulty: Your name Mark?

Fan: No, it's---

McNulty: Yeah it is. No chance I'm signing for anybody without a set o' jugs, Mark. 

McNulty struts out of frame. Fade as the camera zooms in on the tarantula tattoo on the back of his neck. 

[wyattcox]

Stan Fulton

FADE in on the Trans-Canada Highway. In his Peterbilt 587 is The Crusher Stan Fulton. Fulton has his iPhone plugged into the radio and the TuneIn app set to WBGO-Jazz 88 out of Newark. Midday Jazz with Rhonda Hamilton is on and Fulton is enjoying his time behind the wheel.

OOC: For those that don’t know, I’m a former jazz DJ and my character is named after Stan Getz and Fulton McGrath (who was in Jimmy Dorsey’s band as was Getz). Originally he was going to be Stan Dorsey, but that didn’t work for me.

There’s a camera set up in his cab just like on Top Gear. Fulton fades down the music.

“The irony of playing the only true American art form while on a Canadian road is not lost on me.

“Anyways, I suppose I should follow up on a few things, huh?

“First, Grand Slam Consulting North LLC is doing just fine. The catering businesses are showing growth and we hope to announce a long term contract with the OOWF soon. Ric and Tony report fewer incidents since Rodriguez Family Security was hired earlier this month. Those who've gotten out of hand have... been relocated.

“Second, don’t think I've forgotten about you Junichiro. This side program I’m in... and let’s face it, my opponents are barely worthy of my time... will soon be over and I’ll be coming for you and your little sister. I haven’t begun to make you squirm yet.

“Third... let’s see what was third... oh yeah... the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. There’s a crap load of wrestlers who claim they’re gunning for that belt. That’s nice. But no one has the pedigree that I have. Everyone and that includes you Matt need to step aside and mind your betters. And Christian Carter? I know you’re loosely affiliated with the Saints and Moose likes you, but if you get in my way I will destroy you and the Kings along with you. This isn't your world. This is the Saints world. We just allow you your little fiefdom.

“And finally we come to little Reek. He still wants to be important and of use to the company. Well, congratulations Reek. You finally are. You’ve given the company something so very important. The reason for me to stick around a little while longer. When I finally rid the company of you and end your sham of a marriage I can get on with my career and Fire can get on with her life. Moose can have Chloe on one side and his sister on the other.

“You see, Reek, you've forgotten one important detail regarding this little excursion we’re on. You have... nothing. No support. Your wife is involve with other matters and, let’s be honest with each other shall we? She never was that into you anyway. I’m sure it was a means to an end. She’s a Quinn. There’s always an underlying reason, isn't there?

“Speaking of Quinns. There’s the arena, as it is. What a dump. You all have a nice day, ya hear?”

Fulton pulls his rig up to the arena’s back lot and the familiar black Mustang is waiting there for him. He climbs down out of the truck, sheathes his ax handle as if it was a sword and walks over to Moose. Fulton bows and Moose says something inaudible. Fulton rises and the two walk over to the back door where Chloe is waiting. All three go inside as we FADE.

[wyattcox]

Murphys Law

*The tall, slim figure of Wally B King is standing outside the Destroyitarium smoking a cigar when Matt Folz and Jaime approach from one side and Alexander Darling and Firewoman approach from the other*

WBK: Thank you for accepting my invitation, please come in.

*Wally opens the door with a flourish and they walk in*

WBK: I have bottles of champagne for you. I took the liberty of assuming you would like some alone time, so you have separate tables, but I would appreciate if the gentlemen would briefly join me and my young cousin at a table in the back to discuss strategy for the match at Mayhem.

*Alex Darling and Matt Folz both look apprehensive*

WBK: I forgot to mention that I have arranged additional security for the Destroyitarium this evening.

*LD's Momma steps out of the shadows, fist-bumps Wally, and heads toward the door*

*Alex looks at Matt and Jaime*

AD: I know it sounds weird but if she is guarding the door this is as safe as it gets.

*Alex and Matt follow Wally as Spenser comes over to greet Fire and Jaime. Wally leads them to a back table where DK Murphy is sitting with a bottle of Jamesons and shot glasses*

DK: Right, we are not going to join hands and sing songs, but let's figure out how we are going to kick some ass.




*The above conversation is winding down and DK is pouring shots when Alex sees Matt looking over towards where Jaime is sitting*

AD: I understand your concern, but with LD's Momma at the door she is quite safe.

MF: I saw that she was a very large, tough-looking woman, but having the mother of a member of the Saints standing guard...

DK: First of all, as she describes herself, she is a professional thug. If she gets paid to do a job, it gets done. Above and beyond that, she and Wally have a relationship. Dee could explain it better, but basically they...

*The Saints of Sinners and Christian Carter had been watching OOWF TV in the Saints' locker room when LD grabs the remote and changes the channel. Carter looks at him*

LD: I wanted to watch *glances at tv* Love It Or List It. I always watch that show.

MHJ: I wonder what Miranda is watching.

*LD throws the remote at him*

[wyattcox]

Rory Albright


There's a knock on the dressing room door of Rory Albright. Carrie Weiss opens the door and sees none other than the SFJ she bsted a beer bottle over, Cass. Carrie steps into the hall, clearly pissed.

CW: What?!

SFJC: *cowering a bit* Um, GMtheNate has assigned me to you tw...

CW: Why?!

SFJC: I...I don't know. But I'm supposed to check on the condi...

CW: Your boss seems to have it in for you. What'cha do to f*ck up? Not suck his cock right?

SFJC: I don...

CW: Listen, you clearly aren't smart enough to quit, so whatever I decide to do to you, is on you now. But for now, I'll give you your stupid little interview. Just hold the mic like the stupid bitch you are, think you can do that?

SFJC: I gu...

CW: Stop talking. *looks to camera* Chris Evans. Little man. Big bad whiny former champ. That no name in there, the one you had to beat senseless with a steel chair to get by? *grins* He's fine. No worries I think were his exact words. It's hard to get Rory upset. He's just that kinda guy. But me? Oh, ho-ho, I'm a whole 'nother story. Big bad little man likes to use low blows. You wanna go low. We'll go low. You just opened a can of whoop-ass you can't escape from! You...

Rory steps through the door behind Carrie and covers her mouth with his hand. He's clearly beaten and recovering. A deep, blazen look is in his eyes.

RA: Chris Evans. The Lion Heart. The man I saw Wednesday had no heart. I saw a broken shell of a man, grasping at what little spark he had left in his career. The thing about that is, I don't care. Struggle. Fall into the blackness of despair. Go ahead. But you listen to me, you son of a bitch. I will NOT be your whipping boy on your way down. I will NOT go quietly into that dark night with you. I will NOT let that happen again. *deep breath* Chris Evans, it takes a LOT to get me pissed off. It just doesn't happen. But you mother f*cker, you've done it. I'm gonna whoop your ass up and down this damn rocky coast and step on your throat until your gurgling your last breath! Step to the Sun King and get beaten. Piss off the Sun King?! You die.

Rory lets Carrie go and steps back in his dressing room.

RA: LD Williams, pull up a seat and watch the carnage. Gonna be a good time.

Carrie grins and looks at Cass.

CW: Here's a tip. Walls are hard.

Carrie shoves Cass hard into the wall beside the dressing room door and goes inside, slamming the door behind her as Cass crumples to the ground crying.

[wyattcox]

Ecosystem

We’re at an OOWF House Show in Fredericton, New Brunswick and Ecosystem comes down to the ring, no music or anything and grabs the house microphone. The fans are cheering for Ecosystem as he paces the ring, smiling and jawing with the crowd.

Eco: You folks look excited tonight! (Cheers) How would you folks like to see your Onslaught Champion wrestle tonight? (Cheers) How would you like to see your Onslaught Champion put his championship on the line tonight? (Cheers) So who should I face? Miranda Williams? (Cheers) Maybe, since he beat me last week, her father LD Williams? (Mixed reaction) Or maybe…how about that daredevil Tommy Wilder, huh? (Big pop) You like that? You’d like me to defend this Onslaught Championship against Tommy Wilder, RIGHT HERE IN FREDERICTON?

Well, too fucking bad, because that’s not going to happen.

The crowd boos. Eco smirks and paces.

Eco: You know, I don’t blame you for falling for that. I don’t blame you, because it seems that you’re all a little bit confused as to who I am. See, I’m more than happy to let you cheer me if my enemy is your enemy too. And I’m happy to shake the hands of competitors who deserve it – and there are quite a few here. But there are good guys and bad guys in this world, and ladies and gentlemen, make no mistake about it: I am a bad bad man. I don’t put smiles on children’s faces, I don’t make any friends backstage, and I certainly don’t defend my championship at shitty house shows in the podunk capital of the shittiest province in all of Canada.

Since it’s suddenly a hot topic this week, since he might come back and we all have to talk about how “brave” he is, let me address what I think about Danny Taylor being run down. The truth is, I wouldn’t give a fuck if Danny Taylor got hit by a semi and went to the morgue instead of the hospital. (Boos) Oh yeah, it’s true. If Tommy Wilder, your little hero, fell off a halfpipe and Darren Drozdov’d himself – and throw LD on there too, with his gimpy-ass neck – I would laugh my ass off, and then go back to not giving a fuck. (Boos) And if our champion’s whole family, if the entire Mann family got shot dead behind Stank’s broke-ass club, I would send a card….but I wouldn’t read it. (Eco mimes reading a card.) “Dear Grandma, Happy 80th Birthday” Good to go!

Eco paces some more, as the crowd is really booing him.

Eco: But I’ll tell you someone who does give a shit. Someone who worries about LD even when he’d rather see her in a wheelchair. Someone who wants to sit and pray for her opponents, rather than piss on them. Someone who labors under the delusion that it would be a privilege to come out here and “electrify” the great city of Fredericton…(Pop)…ladies and gentlemen, that woman...is Mai Muyo, (Pop) Mai, get out here.

There is a pause. Finally, “Hero” hits, and Mai Muyo comes out looking very confused, but slaps a few fans’ hands before getting in the ring.

Mai: Junichiro, what is this about—

Eco: What is this about? What is this about? Let me remind you what’s happening this week. This week, I face Chloe, and the two of us don’t like each other a whole lot, and we’re going to tear each other apart over a girl, except this time, we’re not in high school, no one is going to prom, and the girl’s boyfriend is busy getting shoved against the wall by the fat kid who only listens to Marilyn Moosehead Manson and a jazz CD his daddy gave him before he walked out.

But this week, you’re also facing Ghosthead for the World Heavyweight Championship. The World Heavyweight Championship. And you’re content to blend into the background, base jump with friends—

Mai: Junichiro, you know I am training—

Eco: Train more! Talk more! Mai, this is not the beginning of the game. It is the bottom of the ninth. And I’m sorry, but I needed to say this publicly, so that you would have to look at the fans, because even if you’ll walk away when I speak, you won’t walk away from them. Look, Danny is rehabbing, Power has a dark streak, Alex is getting pushed around by Stan, Tommy is liable to kill himself any day now, Firewoman is alternating between cowering and going manic, and the Murphys and Texans are spinning their wheels like they’re a 1956 Cadillac Eldorado stuck in two feet of mud. It’s gotten so bad that they’re cheering guys like me and Matt Folz!

Mai: Matt has changed, he deserves to be champion—

Eco: Matt has changed? He’s changed? That’s our criteria for Big Darn Hero? You’re going to make our fans out to be battered spouses? Mai, listen to me, I know this is your brother speaking, I know I’m biased, and I don’t care at all that I am. You are the woman this company needs right now. There is a storm coming, the clouds are only going to get darker, and you are not allowed to go inside. You are not permitted to take a supporting role.

Eco raises his Onslaught Championship.

Eco: This is a legacy run. This is a reminder that Junichiro Muyo is still a force to be reckoned with in this company. But this is a final lap – maybe I’ll have a couple more, maybe not, but the point is, my day is in the past. Your day - your time, Mai’s Time, Mai Time – is NOW.

Mai shakes her head and looks out at the fans, who begin cheering. A few enterprising fans, ignoring the groan-inducing Cena reference, begin chanting “NOW!” Eco encourages it from the ring, and more and more chant “NOW!”

Eco: So why don’t you show them that it’s your time. Take down the Onslaught Champion.

Mai: Junichiro, this is sweet, but this is nuts—

Eco SLAPS the taste out of Mai’s mouth. The crowd boos. Mai looks at him with shock, and he SLAPS her again.

Eco: Come on, bitch. Kick my face off.

Mai: Junichiro Muyo, you do not call your sister a—

Eco boots Mai in the stomach and throws her into the corner. He gets in her face with the microphone.

Eco: What are you going to do about it, bitch? Are you going to keep playing shrinking lotus flower to all the big men? (Eco slaps her again) What was it that Christian called you, shrinking flower? A dumb slant-eyed cunt? And you just fucking took it? (Eco slaps her chest, HARD.) You can take it from a stranger, you can take it from your brother, you stupid fucking cun—

Mai pops Ecosystem in the mouth! Eco pops her back, whips her toward the ropes, Mai reverses, Eco comes off the ropes with a clothesline and Mai dropkicks him in the head. As Eco gets up to his knees, Mai begins kicking him in the chest…and a funny thing happens, the fans begin to yell “NOW!” before every kick. NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! Mai takes a step back, almost confused by the fans – and Eco pops up and pulls her into the Endgame position – and almost immediately, Mai instinctively reverses into the END-IS-HERE! Eco rolls out of the ring and flops to the floor, as Mai regains her composure.

Mai looks plaintively out at Ecosystem outside the ring, asking him what he wants – and Eco stumbles up against the guardrail, gesturing for her to stay back…and begins to chant “Now! Now!” The fans chant back, even louder this time, “NOW! NOW! NOW!” Eco heads up the ramp smiling, leading the cheer, while Mai looks overwhelmed in the ring.

Ecosystem walks backstage, and bumps into Christina Gallagher, who is reading Eco's copy of Being A Face For Dummies.

Christina: So I know you were saying you're a bad guy, but from this book, it seems like that was actually a face promo...

Eco: You don't say.

Eco listens to the audience and smiles. 

"NOW! NOW! NOW!"

FADE

[wyattcox]

Firewoman


In the Darling Luxury Suites, Firewoman has not yet managed to get the exercise equipment out of the main room. She is sitting at a table with Ecosystem and they are playing chess. There are pieces on the board and a few that have been captured. Fire has steely-eye focus on the board, and then finally does something. Eco looks from her the board in confusion.

Eco: Wait, why did you do that?

FW: It was the move I wanted.

Eco: But I had perfectly set you up for a pin and skewer and you just...

FW: This was the move I wanted.

Eco: But it doesn't make sense, it's completely illogical.

FW: Really, Spock?

Eco: Seriously, where did you learn to play chess?

FW: .... you first.

Eco: Well, part of yakuza training is learning strategy, and when they weren't sending me to do all sorts of tasks for them, they...um....yeah.

The room seems to darken a bit.

Eco: Okay, your turn.

FW: Well, one of mom's regular "dates"...when she was too tired, or strung out or whatever, she'd have me take the call. He was creepy enough to BE a regular, but not creepy enough for...well, anyway, he was the one that would buy me ice cream. And, he taught me chess. He told me that he could tell I wouldn't be there long when I got older, and I'd need to learn to use my head.

The room seems to darken a bit more.

FW: I always kinda hoped he would be my new dad and...hey, let's make a deal right now.

Eco: Never talk about our childhoods again?

FW: Deal.

Eco: Deal.

Eco makes a move. The room brightens a bit.

FW: *eyes not lifting from the board* How's Mai?

Eco: You could go see for yourself, you know.

FW: I could but....

Eco: You went to the Destroyitarium last night.

FW: I did...LD's momma and Alex were both there.

Eco: And how is Mrs. Williams?

FW: Fine...

Fire makes a move.

Eco: I assume she had advice for your current situation. You seem to listen to her.

FW: Yeah, it was "Don't disappoint me."

Eco: Nice.

Eco makes a move and captures one of Fire's pieces. Fire's face and posture don't change.

Eco: Still, I could go with you to see Mai. I would keep you safe.

FW: I think it's better for both of us if you don't play the role of protector. That never ends well.

Fire makes another move.

Eco: True. Why did you move the Queen? Now your Bishop has only got that pawn to protect it. Your make believe daddy didn't teach you very well.

FW: *ignoring him* Besides...Mai could have gotten seriously hurt, because of me and my...issues. I don't think I could look her in the eye. And now you're in Chloe's crosshairs.

Eco: Fire...

Eco reaches across the table to gently lift Fire's chin so she has to look at him.

Eco: I told you in the medical room...do not WORRY about me. Chloe's crazy...but if there's anything in this world I know, I know crazy. You really think she can out-crazy me?

Firewoman smiles, Ecosystem smiles, and that precise moment Alexander comes in. He scowls at the exercise equipment, and then sees the two of them.

AD: WHAT are you...Fire, WHAT is THAT doing here?

FW: Playing chess.

AD: I see that...why HERE?

FW: Cos this is where the chessboard is.

AD: Look...I can't even begin to understand why you would trust this guy again...

FW: I don't....really.

Eco: Awww...

AD: But whether you do or don't, I DON'T, so get him out of here.

Eco: You could let us finish our game.

FW: It's over. Check mate.

Fire moves a pawn and takes Ecosystem's king.

Eco: Wait...how....

Fire smiles sweetly at Eco, who gets a bit annoyed.

Eco: Whatever. Cute. But this thing with Chloe? You can't Kobiyashi Maru your way out of it. You need anything call.

Ecosystem and Alex exchange a healthy sneer as Eco walks by.

Eco: I think I'll go shopping, I hear Firewoman merchandise sales need a boost. And I have WAY more money than Crusher does.

Ecosystem walks out of the room and down the hall.

[wyattcox]

Power

(It's about 6:55pm Sunday, and the SUV is pulling up to the Motel 6 on the edge of town. Out of the motel comes Spider McNulty carrying a box in a suit that isn't bad but has seen better days, and Shane Tuska is out, wearing a T-shirt and jeans. One of the bodyguards open the door and the men take a seat in front of the women who are in the back. Sunny smiles happily while Power just smiles.)

Spider: Ladies, good to see ya.

Sunny: Spider, Shane.

Power: Why are you all staying out here?

Spider: Shane and me, well, we ain't flush like you guys.

Power: Haven't you read his contract?

Spider: (Turns to Tuska) You got a contract? (Tuska slowly nods)

Power: Company provides you a suite, reasonable travel allowances, catering, health insurance, the whole nine yards.

Spider: Whoa! This is bigger time than I thought.

Power: Firewoman got that all for us.  We found out the hard way too.  Spent almost three weeks in some of the crappiest dumps in Europe.  Some of the best nights of that though were made possible by Sunny.  (Sunny smiles)

Spider: But what you guys do is bigger than just what's in your contract. You got money, right.

Power: My dad left us well off before he died.

Spider: Your dad...wait, Cox. Your dad the guy from the radio?

Sunny: Used to be. He passed a little over a year ago.

Spider: He used to handle a territory in Kansas, right? Until the Neals took out his girl.

Power: (Bristling) Yes, but that was a long time ago.

Spider: Yeah, damn, but they still talk about it. Those two had to be crazy.

Power: They were my aunt and uncle.

Spider: No Shit! Sorry, didn't mean to...

Power: That's OK. I think that explains my sister, though. She got all their crazy...I hope.

Sunny: So Shane, what do you think of the OOWF so far?

(Tuska just shrugs his shoulders.)

Spider: Told ya the boy doesn't talk much.

Power: I understand his trauma. I've had to bury both my parents. Burying those you love, well, it isn't easy.  

Sunny: Well, here we are.

(The SUV pulls up to Captain Dan's Bar and Grill, where there is a long line of people waiting to get in. The bodyguards clear a path for Sunny and Power who stop along the way to sign autographs, and Spider and Tuska follow. Cellphones are out as everyone wants to take pictures of the celebs. The group is escorted to the upper deck, where a large area has been cordoned off for privacy. As they are seated, a large platter of mussels, poutine, lobster crab and seafood stuffed mushrooms, and oven baked crab, spinach, and asiago dip with chips is brought out.)

Spider: Damn, you ladies know how to eat.

Sunny: Oh yes, we do.

Spider: The Spider knows how to eat as well, if you get my drift.

(Sunny smiles, Power rolls her eyes, and Tuska just shakes his head slowly as the waiter approaches.)

Waiter: Miss Cox, Miss Hamid, so happy to see you.

Sunny: This is Shane Tuska and his manager Spider McNulty.

Waiter: So looking forward to the show. What may we get you.

Sunny: I'll have the baked haddock, Edra will have the lobster we discussed, and Gentlemen?

Spider: Steak, medium rare, two inches thick from a steer that died happy, and my man here will have a salad.

Sunny: May I suggest the Wharf-side salad with shrimp, scallops, and crab.

(Tuska slowly nods)

Waiter: Excellent, the food will be up shortly.

(As the waiter leaves, Spider hands the box to Power. She opens it to find a Lilac corsage. Power smiles as Spider starts to get up from the table, but Sunny heads him off and swiftly pins the corsage on Power's blouse. Spider sits down somewhat disappointed.)

Power: Thank you, Spider, it's...it's...

Sunny: Very nice, lovely on you, dear.

Spider: Thanks, hard to find them up here.

Power: Dig in, shall we. Shane?

(Sunny makes innuendo-filled small talk with Spider while Power and Tusca nibble away and lock eyes. Occasionally one nods to the other and returns the nod. Eventually the table is cleared and the main courses arrive. Tuska nods his head as the seafood filled salad is placed in front of him. McNulty smiles as the huge slab of Canadian Black Angus beef is plopped in front of him. Sunny's baked haddock comes next, then a huge lobster is dropped in front of Power.)

Waiter: Sorry, Miss Cox, this is the largest we had.

Power: That's fine, the appetizers more than make up for it.

Spider: That's one big beast there. Sure you can handle it?

Power: Watch me.

(While everyone else is eating Power disassembles the lobster with surgical precision. After a few minutes McNulty shakes his head)

Spider: She's going to town on that thing.

Sunny: Her mom taught her where to find every piece of meat on a lobster. After the incident, times were hard for them. Her dad lived in a pop-up camper in Florida working for very little money, sending every penny back to them until he hit it big. Once they were better off and were able to switch from bologna and tuna fish to better food, they still were careful with their money.

Spider: They were broke? But I thought...

Sunny: Her dad lost everything after Beth died. He built everything all over from scratch. That's why she fights so hard. She knows what it's like to have nothing. She doesn't want us to go back there.

Spider: Us?

Sunny: (Realizing she's made a mistake) Surely you know how hard it is to have something and then to lose it. She never had it and then got it. When her father died...

Power: I have a new life, and I'll fight to my last breath to keep it. Coming back gave me a whole new chance at success. Just us.

(Power drops what might have been the shell of the last piece of meat on the lobster and turns to Tuska, stares into his eyes and nods her head. Tuska slowly nods his head. Power and Sunny stand up.)

Power: Gentlemen, if you'll excuse us...

(Power and Sunny head downstairs followed by the bodyguards. Spider shakes his head.)

Spider: What is it with dames like that where they always have to run off to the toilet together. I swear, they make no..

Tuska: Shhhhhhhhh

Spider: Geez, make one silly remark.

Waiter: Gentlemen, would you like dessert?

Spider: We'll wait for the women to come back.

Waiter: Oh, they left.

Spider: What?  Shoulda known.  The dames left and stuck us with the bill!

Waiter: Oh no, sir. Told us to get you anything for dessert you wanted and on their expense account. They told us to tell you they had a wonderful time and they'd have a car sent around in a few minutes to take you back to your hotel.

Spider: Got any gluten-free desserts?

Tuska: Shhhhhhh

Spider: Never mind, just bring us some take home boxes.

(The waiter walks away as Spider shakes his head and Tuska gets the faintest glimmer of a smile as we fade)

[wyattcox]

Stank

*Stank walks into the Saints locker room where he finds LD Williams watching Tommy Wilder's promo with mild concern.*

Stank - So I ran into your mother.

LDW - Really? Where?

Stank - She's at the Destroyitarium guarding the front door apparently.

LDW - Lemme guess... Wally.

Stank - I've never understood those two.

LDW - What were you doing at the Destroyitarium?

Stank - I wanted some clarity on my numbers when it comes to D&D classic merchandising, but your mother wouldn't let me through.

LDW - Odd. She's always liked you.

Stank - No shit?

LDW - Yeah. She still talks about the Thanksgiving you invited her and I to in Atlanta some years back.

Stank - Well I'm not saying what just happened with her was entirely unpleasant. She wished my mother well and gave condolences for Jared and I. We talked a little about my match coming up.

LDW - Really? What did she say?

Stank - Don't disappoint me.

LDW - Ha. She said the same to Firewoman.

Stank - What?

*LD rewinds the promos to Firewoman's earlier one.*

Stank - MOTHERFUCKING JUNICHIRO MUYO!

LDW - Oh yeah... there was that.

Stank - Why doesn't he just stay outta this???

LDW - I'm sure there are some residual hurt feelings after you beat him up like you did. Plus Stan did pretty much the same and you and he are both part of the same group which I'm sure he resents... after all it was he and Moose who were the original Saints of Sinners... need I go on...?

Stank - Sure what else?

LDW - Uh... I didn't actually think you would-

Stank - Just kidding.

*Stank walks over to a stand alone door which he opens and steps through. He walks over to his desk and pets Drunkette on her head before seating himself, propping his legs up, opening the bottom drawer, and retrieving a bottle of whiskey. LD Williams rises to his feet, walks over and knocks on the door before walking around it to stand in front of Stank's desk. Stank takes out a shotglass (Not Shotglass the dog... although...) and sets it on the desk, pouring LD some of the whiskey.*

LDW - I've been meaning to ask you about the donkey.

Stank - What about her?

LDW - She left you a present over in the corner.

Stank - Huh? OHHH DRUNKETTE! BAD DONKEY! BAD!

*Drunkette droops her head in shame.*

LDW - Yeah. Either potty train her or cut her loose.

*LD Williams gulps down the whiskey shot then sets the empty glass on Stank's desk. He walks around the door and returns to the couch, resuming the replay of today's earlier promos.*

Stank - Hmmm what am I going to do with you Drunkette?

*Drunkette looks up at Stank with doe eyes.*

Stank - Shit. Well I'M not going to fucking potty train you... I know someone who will though.

*Stank rises to his feet as we cut to Banned from Everywhere's locker room. We catch Awesome Bill mid-conversation.*

ABFD - Den dey done FALL from da SKY! And THAT thar is how PINE CONES is made from!

JS - Wow...

Elijay - And here all this time I thought they came from a tree?

*Stank walks into BFE's locker room, steps over to Justin Sane, picks him up, slings him over his shoulder, and carries him back toward the exit.*

Stank - I'm taking this... I'm takifying one half of the OOWF World Tag Team Champions.

ABFD - What for??? I needs him!

Elijay - Where are you taking him?

Stank - The Saints Locker room.

ABFD - Ain't we's banned from there?

EliJay - Yeah we're-

JS/ABFD/Elijay/Stank - BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE!

ABFD - Outdamnstandener than HELL!

EliJay - Well I spose as long as you bring him back in one piece.

Stank - I'm not going to hurt him... on purpose... much... Besides the fans will eat this shit up and I don't plan on fucking with my bottom line... on purpose... much.

ABFD - I don't understandify what you be sayin, but I reckon if Justin is okay with it...

JS - Can I borrow five-

Stank - Shut it, you.

*Stank exits with Justin as we fade to commercial break.*

[wyattcox]

Alexander Darling

*OOWF House Show*

Some match is just finishing up and it was a brawl that left a lot of debris around the ringside area so fans are starting to gather up their belongings assuming that it's time for intermission as the lights go out in the arena. "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" blasts and fans erupt as "King of the World" starts playing. The spotlight illuminates the entrance and we see the hooded silhouette of one Alexander Darling, but he's not alone. The large shadow of a direwolf is with him. Alex & Stark make their way down to the ring and as Alex lets go of the leash to slide under the rope, the amazingly trained Stark walks up the steps and in between the ropes and plants himself in a corner. Alex hops up onto the turnbuckle above Stark as he's handed a microphone.

Alex: Well, well, well...look who's back. No, not me though I know it has been a while, but say hello to the fans Stark.

Stark: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Alex: Yes, the fans here in Canada are very nice. Unlike that Stan Fulton.

Stark: Growllllllll

Alex: Exactly. He wants to call me Reek. He wants to claim he can break me by going after my wife. He wants to think that his reason to stick around will be to take me out. To do his master Moosehead Jack's bidding. He wants to accomplish a goal many men have attempted. He thinks he can break me with words; with the belief that I am a shell of what I used to be. That calling me Reek will make me doubt myself. He thinks he can get in my head and have me worry about my physical well being, my mental well being, and my spiritual well being. Well, I have three words for you Stan Fulton...

GOOD FUCKING LUCK.

Men, much much much better men than you have tried. Ask your running buddies Moose & Stank if I'm easy to take out. Ask your former friends Matt Folz & Ecosystem just how hard it is to make a dent in me. Ask Christian Carter if taking my twin sister away broke me. Ask em all and they will all tell you the same thing...NO. They couldn't break me and yet you think you can? Are you fucking kidding me? Call me Reek, because it don't matter one iota to me. I am your better. I have always been your better. And I will always be your better.

We've both climbed the top of the mountain in the OOWF, Crusher, but I have embraced my place while you always are looking for another foothold. I am not your foothold. I am going to be the final blow as you head into the sweet everlasting goodnight. When people remember the OOWF Grand Slam Champions, it will be YOU who is forgotten. And it won't be because of your talent; there's no denying that...it'll be because of your heart. You have none. You have no desire. The only reason you show up each and every week is to be told what to do next. Whether it's Eco or Folz or Moose or whoever, you have never had one single creative thought of your own.

You think I will bow down and cower in fear of the almighty Saints of Sinners. I spit on the fucking Saints. I am god damn OOWF royalty and you, you're nothing but a court jester. So this week, I want you to dance like the puppet you strive to be. Call me Reek because when all is said and done Winter is Coming Stan, and I will take my non-existant balls and make you choke on em.

And don't you dare think I've forgotten about you Christian Carter and your Suicide Kings. But here's the problem...you no longer have anything I want. You want my career. I know you do. You want me to walk away. You want to be the one to say "I ended Alexander Darling." You want to be "The One." Well, here's the thing Chris...I want to give you that chance. But you've got to give me something too. So here's what I'm going to say...I still have my #1 contendership from the Invitational. I could step into the landmine that is Ghosthead and Matt Folz and the puppet from the Saints, but that's not what I want. I want you. So here's the deal...Christian Carter vs. Alexander Darling; Hell on Earth 10; My career against your OOWF World Heavyweight title. All you have to do is win it back. Good luck with that, by the way.

So, this Wednesday, DK Murphy, Matt Folz, and I...we'll go to battle with the Puppet Master and his two middling peons and it'll be bloody. We'll leave with scrapes, cuts, and bruises and I will fucking love it. Because while the court jester can call me Reek, deep down he knows the truth and it scares him to the core. He knows, I am Alexander Darling, and well, he's just a fucking afterthought.

*Fade*

[wyattcox]

Firewoman

Moosehead Jack is sitting at ... a Starbucks. He looks exactly as out of place as you would think, with the locals giving him side-long glances, and he clearly feels as uncomfortable as you could imagine. A woman comes in with a black hoodie pulled over her head. She glances around from under it, as one red tress falls from beneath it, which somewhat reveals who she is. She goes over and orders a lage caramel macchiato, and gets into an argument with the barrista over whether it's a large or a venti. Moose smiles. Finally, the woman comes and sits across from him, and he sees it's a Phoenix Rising hoodie and he scowls.

MHJ: You're not very stealthy, wearing that. And everyone knows your feud with Starbucks over drink sizes.

Firewoman pulls down the hood.

FW: It's a large. I don't know why they can't say that. Also, I just bought this. It goes to my merchandise count.

MHJ: Whatever...what do you want?

FW: I just...I hadn't seen you......

MHJ: So?

FW: Seriously? I thought we were past this...

MHJ: *sighs* Look...I'm glad you're...getting out. Even if we had to go all cloak and dagger to meet.

FW: Well, other than attacking my friends, Chloe hasn't done anything really threatening lately, so--

MHJ: I don't know what I hate worse. That you're buddy-buddy with Junichiro after EVERYTHING, or that you're making me agree with your stupid...Alex.

FW: Funny.

MHJ: You've never had the best judgment when it comes to people.

FW: Wonderful. I risk my life to see you because your girlfriend wants to kill me and this is what I get.

MHJ: She's not my--

FW: You should maybe tell her that. But whatever, I don't care...you are my brother, and nothing, and no one, not Alex, not Chloe is going to make me not be your sister.

MHJ: Well, that's....Fire, can't you...I dunno, meditate a lot? Do some of that mojo, throw some pennies, sacrifice a chicken or three...just...get over what you need to and....

FW: Don't you think I'm trying? You think I like this? I haven't felt this way since.....

MHJ: Yeah...I know....

There's an uncomfortable silence as the two share some unspoken and probably horribly traumatic memory.

MHJ: Fire...I'm genuinely stumped here. I don't know....

FW: Couldn't you...I dunno...talk to her?

MHJ: SERIOUSLY?

FW: She listens to you....maybe she can...I dunno, back off ... I'll get my bearings soon and....what?

Moose looks annoyed now, although the concern is still there.

MHJ: Fire. Lisa. I am NOT fighting this battle for you.

FW: But?

MHJ: Chloe is not you, but she means to hurt you.

FW: And you're not going to do anything to stop it?

MHJ: I shouldn't NEED to....YOU need to be the one to stop it.

FW: But, Jackie, I ca--

MHJ: Do NOT finish that sentence. I don't care what you have to do Fire. Pray, chant, seduce a nun, WHATEVER...but YOU need to stop it yourself. If you don't handle this yourself, then that's it. Your career is over.

FW: Moose--

MHJ: TRUST ME.

People are kind of staring. Fire merely looks down at her coffee. Moose instantly feels bad.

MHJ: I'm not enabling you. Everyone else can, but not me.

FW: ....

MHJ: *quietly* But....

FW: ....

MHJ: I will ALWAYS have your back. Trust me.

Fire nods, but doesn't look up. Moose kind of nods, and stands. He puts a hand on her shoulder and then, when she still doesn't look up, he leaves. Fire sits there a moment before raising the hoodie over her head and down to her face. She leaves as well a few minutes later, getting into the passenger side of the McLaren, where Lucky has held the door open. Lucky goes around to the driver's side and they pull away towards the arena.

[wyattcox]

Matt Folz

We see Matt Folz walking down the Hallway of Random Encounters when he runs into Mai Muyo.

MM: Hi Matt.

MF: Mai.

MM: Did you see what my brother did?

MF: I did, and it was the best thing he could have ever done for you. I say this very, very rarely but your brother was absolutely right.

MM: What?

MF: I take that back, he was wrong about one thing. I've been in the gym with you most of this week, I know how hard you're training. But on everything else, he was spot on.

MM: But the things he said about you..

MF: ... are completely true. The fans aren't cheering me because I'm suddenly a nice guy, they're cheering me because I want to leave Carter barely breathing in a pool of his own blood. That's a big difference.

MM: I don't believe that.

MF: You have the right to believe whatever you want, but it's the truth. But back to the main point here: I'm glad your brother did what he did, because I think it finally made you realize something that I've been trying to tell you for years.

MM: What?

MF: That you're too nice. Now, I'm not talking outside of the ring. Outside of the ring Jaime and I both value your friendship. But inside the ring is a different story. Let me give you an example: Our World Championship match, you were probably in the best shape of your career, right?

MM: Probably.

MF: And we've worked out together enough, and you're smart enough, that you probably knew most of my moves.

MM: Yeah?

MF: And I have no trouble saying you and I are almost equally talented. But even with all that, I walked into that match with very little doubt I was going to beat you. Again, not because of your talent but because of what you were missing at the time.

MM: What was I missing?

MF: The right mentality. See, if I had injured you seriously during that match, if I had broken your arm or caused you to blow out your knee? A nanosecond after the ref raised my hand, I would have felt horrible. But during the match? I wouldn't have given a shit. I would have exploited it as much as I possibly could. THAT'S the mindset I knew you didn't have at the time. But now, after seeing what you did to your brother, I believe you're finally ready. You didn't care that it was your brother in the ring with you, you were pissed off and you reacted. You wanted to kick his ass and shut him up and you did. You've never shown that before. If you go into the ring Wednesday night with the same kind of fire you just showed, then you'll walk out as the Champion of the greatest wrestling organization on Earth. If you go in with anything less than that mindset, you don't have a chance. Because I guaran-fucking-tee Ghosthead won't have any trouble trying to hurt you.

Matt walks away as the camera......FADES

[wyattcox]

Tuska

At the OOWF house show, the camera finds Spider McNulty and Shane Tuska backstage. Tuska is fresh from a victory over Starfire Huckabee. Spider claps his charge on the shoulder and cackles. 

McNulty: Nice work, kid, way to put the hammer down. Ol' Huckabee is out cold. 

Tuska finds a corner and begins a cool down stretching routine while McNulty shoos away a couple of mingling jobbers and takes a seat on a bench. He clasps his hands behind his head and leans back on the lockers, his feet outstretched. He sighs.

McNulty: You know, it's a damn shame you're gotta face Power at Mayhem. Broads like that don't come along everyday, kid. But, business is business and we gotta put the boots to who we gotta put the boots to, am I right?

Tuska pauses. He seems to ruminate on what McNulty said, and then bends at the waist and touches his toes, his face at his knees. 

McNulty: Watchin' you do that makes my back hurt. Anyway, about Power... what do you suppose is going on with her and that Sunny chick?

The whole locker room seems to pause. Tuska continues his stretching while a few of the other wrestlers stifle laughter. McNulty furls his brow and looks around, confused.

McNulty: What did I say? (sighs again) This territory has got to be the weirdest I've ever been around. 

Tuska takes a deep centering breath and swivels his head, popping his neck. He picks up his gear bag and makes to leave. McNulty pops up from the bench and stops him.

McNulty: Yo, Shane, you think Power is around here somewhere? I gotta thank her for that sirloin and see if she's up for round two with ol' Spider.

Tuska pauses. He looks around the locker room and shakes his head. He puts his head down for a moment and then leans in closer to McNulty. Spider leans down slightly, favoring his left ear.

Tuska: (whispering) Lesbians. 

McNulty: Say what, now?

Tuska grits his teeth and leans in again.

Tuska: Sunny. Power. They're lesbians. 

Understanding slowly drips across McNulty's face. He straightens himself and stares off into space, his mouth opening slightly. He shakes his head quickly, as though shaking off the cobwebs and looks at Tuska.

McNulty: (loudly) LESBI-- 

He cuts himself off and puts a hand on Tuska's shoulder, leaning in more cautiously.

McNulty: Are they... lesbians... together? 

Tuska grimaces and walks out of frame as a jobber on a bench nearby chuckles. McNulty grabs him by the shirt and yanks him up. 

McNulty: Something on your mind, fatpack?

Jobber: Ah... no, sir, I- it's just I---

McNulty releases the shirt and the jobber stumbles back. Spider grunts and walks out of frame, calling after Tuska.

McNulty: Yo, Tuska, that's some need-to-know information, brother! Shane! Do they at least, you know... bat for both teams? Shane!

The camera pulls back on the locker room, several of the wrestler nearby laughing and exchanging glances. The camera continues to pull back, finally revealing Steve Gary, OOWF's newest PA, with a scowl burned into his face. His lip curls with disdain. He eyes the hapless jobber just accosted by McNulty and looks once more in the direction that Spider and Tuska exited. "Ruin you..." he whispers. He leaves the scene as we fade.

[wyattcox]

Matt Folz

We see General Manager Nate Corbitt sitting at his desk when he hears a knock.

NC: The hell? Someone knows how to do that? Come in.

The door opens and Matt and Jaime walk into the office.

NC: Mr. and Mrs. Folz how can I help you?

MF: I won't take up too much of your time, I just need a quick signature. My lawyer has prepared this, it's fairly straightforward.

Matt slides a document across the desk. Nate reads it, does a double take and then looks at Jaime.

NC: You're on board with this?

JF: I'm not going to say I'm thrilled about the possibility, but Matt and I had a long discussion about this.

NC: Mr. Folz, if I sign this, you know what that means?

MF: I do. Hell, I'm hoping I don't have to use it. But if Carter doesn't have the balls to sign the contract I sent him... this might be the only way to tempt him.

NC: It's your decision, but you don't have to do this.

MF: Are you married?

NC: I am, with a young son.

MF: And if someone put your wife in a hospital for weeks, would you not do everything in your power to get vengeance for that?

Nate nods and signs the document, then slides it back to Matt.

NC: I understand.

Matt and Jaime walk out without another word as we...... FADE

[wyattcox]

Moosehead Jack

<Moose is sitting in the darkened corner of an especially seedy bar when LD and Stank walk in. It is obvious that Moose is not on his first bottle of whiskey. LD grabs a couple more bottles from the bartender and they sit down>

LD: I do believe you have outdone yourself this time Jack

Stank: <looking around> how is this place not condemned?

MHJ: It has…..character

Sta: Where are Fulton and Chloe?

MHJ: At the arena, I just called you two

LD: <looking at Stank> What’s up?

MHJ: <taking a long time and several drinks, and finally lighting a cigar and taking a long drag from it> LD, when you hurt your neck, did you think about walking away?

LD: It crossed my mind

MHJ: And Stank…..when you hurt your knee, did you think about walking away?

Sta: For a minute, sure. What’s going on?

MHJ: Bill…..Lucas……I don’t know if I can beat DK Murphy

<LD and Stank both sit back and look at each other then at Moose>

LD: Jack….what the hell are you talking about?

MHJ: I don’t know if I can beat him

Sta: You lost a couple matches to him……so what?

MHJ: It’s not that…..the kid has the evil in him…..he would make a good Saint

LD: Yeah, well, look who his dad is.

Sta: Jack, snap out of it. Come on, Murphy is tough as hell, but you’re Moosehead Fucking Jack

MHJ: <taking another long drag> Look, I’ve been doing this almost twenty years, my style is not exactly known for longevity….

LD: <shaking his head> No…..wait……this isn’t about Murphy. I know you Jack, you NEVER doubt yourself. It could be a hundred against one, and you believe you will be the one to walk out, then be pissed off because you didn’t. What’s going on?

<Moose doesn’t say anything he just takes another long drink and drags the cigar>

MHJ: No…..this isn’t about Murphy. The kid is tougher than I gave him credit for, but he is still too emotional. This is something else……

<The three sit there in silence for a few minutes, drinking, then Stank looks at Moose>

Sta: Fire

<Moose doesn’t say anything, he just nods and drinks again>

LD: I am sure she is just going through something……

MHJ: I’ve only seen Lisa afraid one other time. When we were kids, when Sean would get drunk off his ass and beat the snot out of us. The first few times, she was afraid, you could see it in her eyes, but something about him…..it toughened her up, made her unafraid. You could see the defiance in her eyes, drove Sean crazy, made the beatings worse, but it was like she was daring him. So this…..

Sta: You could talk to Chloe and call it off

MHJ: No. Chloe needs this. She has something to prove, she needs to show she belongs. But to see Fire like this…..

LD: And you’re sure its not a game?

MHJ: I thought so at first. I’ve seen Lisa run that scam more times than I can count. But after seeing her in that room…….that wasn’t Lisa. That wasn’t Fire. That was……..Rose

<Stank and LD both look at Moose with confusion>

MHJ: When Sean didn’t get it out of his system beating us, he would turn on mom. She would cower like that. She would beg him not to hurt her. She always took it, and would never do anything to stop it. I never understood it. And now…..

<there is silence at the table for a bit, LD finally breaks it>

LD: Jack…..you know Stank and I think of Fire as our sister, and there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for her. But I think you’re right……she needs this, and so does Chloe. Once a Saint, always a Saint, we all know that, but if Chloe is going to do this…….I think this is something she is going to have to do alone, she has to understand that

<Moose just nods, grabs a bottle of whiskey and staggers out of the bar into the night>

Sta: Something doesn’t feel right Billy Dee

LD: I know. Something is off somewhere, I just can’t figure out where

Sta: Me either.

LD: Let’s get back to the arena, call Stan and Chloe and tell them to meet us there in fifteen minutes

<fade>