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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 19:46:17 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem,
Live! From Iron Knob Australia
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Three Way Dance[/u]
Niles Anderson vs. Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Team From Down Under vs. wCw
Best of Seven Series – Match Three, Stips TBA[/u]
Thim Reynolds vs. Corax
LD Williams & Eric O’Mac vs. Capellan & Austraroo
Chris Cole vs. Siriram
Donovan Viper vs. Hardbody Harris
Uncle Entity vs. SoulDragon
Mr. Jealous vs. Phil
Microplay vs. Chris Alt
Canadian Dragon vs. Justin Sane
Firechild vs. Mercury
Seraph vs. Shashwat Mishra
The Devil’s Brigade & The BlackDawgs vs. Drink & Destroy & The Chickenshit Heels
Card subject to hostile take over by the tobacco industry
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:04:16 GMT -5
Firechild and Chris Cole are relaxing backstage with some beers talking about the events of the last few weeks and months....
FC: Hey man, it's just.....I dunno what happened, I mean at one point we held half the gold in the OOWF, we were practically undefeatable and now....
CC:....
The door opens and one of the OOWF PA's comes in with a fax from Ax-Man...
:"Hey guys, sorry I'm not there this week...still rehabbing the knee with Do Andrew James here in Oaky, but they won't let me travle to be at ringside or anything, even though you guys are in the country...I'm really sorry guys. Kick some ass for me mates. AX":
CC: Well....
FC: You're not thinking it man....
CC: I'm thinking it.
FC: (quickly changing the subject) No point in dwelling man, we'll get back, you've still got you're title shot even if that freak Siriam managed to make you tap last week.
CC (icy cold): I got a rematch with that nutjob and he'll learn what its all about to be Headline news when I send him back to the minors..... and what about you getting pasted by Canadian Dragon? Hell it's not like you to get sneak attacked?
Firechild rubs his still sore neck...
FC: I know, and I'll get him back, but I've got more than a little problem with how I'm being held down in the Onslaught division, I got a great win/loss record and I'm easily the greatest champion in the history of the division, but I'm not getting any title shots. I'm a Living Legend, the Best there Now Is, I'm the fucking Franchise of the Onslaught division and I'm being held DOWN!
Firechild smashes his beer bottle against the opposite wall.
CC: Hell man, calm down, lets get our lawyers onto the GM and see about returning some class to the Onslaught division.... and you can beat the crap out of Mercury this week, just to show you can.
FC: Snot fair.... its a conspiracy.
CC: (Looks long suffering) Yep, thats right man..... wanna go beat the shit out of some emo kids to release some steam, I hear My Chemical Romance are playing the Iron Knob Quantus Arena tonight.
FC: Lets kill some pussies....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:04:37 GMT -5
## Thim is laid out on a table with a Doctor looking at his ear, it seems to still be bleeding profusly when theRick walks in
tR: Thim, how you doing
TR: how do I look like I'm doing!!! That bastard is gonna pay next week
tR: that's actually what I came to talk to you about. I know I've put your match up for next week and I was going to come and ask you what stips you wanted . . . but
TR: but what!! You know what I want. Pure Onslaught rules . . . no fucking chains, just snapped ankles
tR: If you'll let me finish Thim. I said but because the Doctor has just informed that because of that injury you're not going to be cleared to wrestle next week. You've got to let it heal up right or you could damage your balance centers permenantly.
TR: bollocks to that - I'm fine and I'm wrestling next week
tR: Thim if the Doctor says you're not cleared then I'm not letting you wrestle, period
TR: but . . .
tR: no buts Thim, I'm not gonna let you risk it
TR: Doc, look are you just worried about damage to my head and ear?
Doc: yea. Another injury like this one could mess up your inner ear for good
TR: well that's easy then. THe Onslaught Rules match doesn't have any damn chains in it so no worries, right??
Doc: I'd still be worried about any major blows to the head . . .
TR: OK!!! How about an Onslaught Rules 'Nothing Above the Neck' match - pretty much speaks for itself . . .
Doc: well you'd still be taking a risk but it should be OK
TR: theRick??
tR: if he says yes then it's OK by me
Doc: just one thing though Thim
TR: yes?
Doc: if you're going to do that I'd like to ensure that you get as well healed as possible before next week. I'd like you to wear this for the next week.
## The Doctor produces what is basically a bright yellow ProTec helmet
TR: you're kidding right - I've got to wear this all week . . . I'm gonna look like a bloody idiot, no way!!
tR: Thim. If the Doc says you've got to wear it you're gonna wear it
TR: read my lips theRick - NO FUCKING WAY!!!
tR: let me put it like this Thim. You either wear the helmet or I'll let the match go ahead next week but without you in it. Corax will win by forfit and then he'll get to pick the next set of stips . . . your call.
TR: fine - give me the damn helmet
## The Doctor passes Thim the rather geeky looking helmet. Thim looks sorrowfully at it . . .
TR: can I at least put some stickers on it??
tR: Knock yourself out Thim!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:05:03 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels check out the card for this week.]
JA: What the hell?
AA: [knocks on the door] Rick, what is this shit, man??
[no answer from inside]
JA: One of these things is not like the other...
[Drink & Destroy walk into the picture.]
FFC: What isn't like the... [sees match] Alan! We're gonna be TAG TEAM PARTNERS! Can me and Stank leech off your heelishness?
Stank: We don't gotta leech off nobody!
FFC: But Stank... remember that heel turn we wanted?
JA: Dude, if anything, we're becoming faces by hanging out with you two.
FFC: SHUT THE HELL UP, JOHNNY BOY!
Stank: Look, I don't give a damn if we're heel or face, so long as somebody gets their ass kicked this Wednesday. [grabs Johnny by the shirt and gets in his face] And if it's gotta be YOUR ass I kick? Well, too bad!
[Stank leaves.]
JA: [gaining composure] What's his problem?
FFC: YOU!
AA: Guys, guys... look, it's cool that we're gonna be partners this week. And hey, you know how we're both looking to get back into the tag title hunt? Picking up a win here would help us BOTH out.
JA: Since when did you become the voice of reason?
FFC: Alan, damn, you're funny, man! [grabs AA around the neck] Come on, let's grab some beers and start strategizing.
[Capslock pulls AA away with nominal resistance, leaving Johnny all alone to sigh and then leave in the other direction.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:05:30 GMT -5
Stank - I've resigned myself to the fact that we are just going to have to be faces, you know what I mean... WHAT'S HE DOING HERE!
FFC - C'mon Stank. We're partners this week.
AA - *Sniff* Look, I don't wanna be anywhere I'm not wanted.
Stank - Then get gone, punk!
AA - If that's the way you feel...
Stank - It is!
AA - FINE THEN! Ferdinand... It's been a pleasure.
Attitude Adjuster leaves with tears welling up in his eyes
Stank - Whose Ferdinand?
FFC - Now WHAT you go and do THAT for?
Stank - Are you avoiding the question?
FFC - I DON'T KNOW WHO FERDINAND IS? WHY were you so RUDE to MY FRIEND?
Stank - He's a HEEL! We're FACES! We can't co-exist with their KIND!
wCw - Hey dudes! What's up?
Stank - GET OUT!
Wilder and Westgaard leave
FFC - Oh so I SUPPOSE we can't hang with FACES either!
Stank - I don't know... I'm so confused...
FFC - Well I'M NOT going to be a flaming TWEENER!
Stank -
FFC -
Stank - He's not coming.
FFC -
Stank -
FFC - Now I'M confused.
Gargamel - Maybe I can help!
PaRappa the Rappa - Yeah! YOU GOTTA BE...
D&D - OUT!
The animated characters leave
Stank - I thought the Evil Wizard got tossed out of this Fed?
FFC - Me too. There must be more to that Bourbon we got from the Big Dawg than just alcohol.
Stank - It did kinda have a funny aftertaste.
UD - My backwash.
D&D - EWWWWWW!
Underdawg dissappears as quickly as he arrived
Stank - That TEARS it! We need to start WINNING again! We don't even hold the distinguished spot of being the ONLY TWO time TAG TEAM Champions!
FFC- Um... Aren't 3 Piece Set three time...?
Stank - WHATEVER!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:05:52 GMT -5
Underdawg and Blackdragon are in their dressing room.
BD: Damn, Big Dawg! That was great. Giving D&D that tainted bourbon was awesome. We crushed them! What was in that bourbon anyway?
UD: It's funny you'd say "tainted"...
BD: Ew... yuck!
Just then, The Devil's Brigade walks in.
BD: What the hell do you guys want?
TO: We be teemin' uup en de nex meyhem 'gainst de drunkads an' de chikunshites.
HC: And also to give an olive branch. Underdawg, you and I don't see eye to eye, but this week, we're partners. We want to make sure you have our trust.
UD: As long as Viper has nothing to do with this, I have no problem.
TO: Lessen', we be distencin ouhselvs frem deh ferry cunt wanka, ok? Ah dunna lak 'em ane more den yuu do.
UD: Fair enough.
BD: Can we get Ayaka, though?
HC: Man, that'd be great if we could.
BD: Damn.
HC: Damn.
RS: Damn.
AA: RON! GET BACK OVER HERE! THAT'S THE ENEMY'S LOCKER!
HC: So what's the plan, big dawg?
TO: Oooh! Ah spot sem a dat kentuckee burbon, et ain't ayerish whiskeh, bet et'll dew.
BD: Wait, no.
Tommy downs the bourbon.
TO: Eh! Ye yanks meyk an intrestin spirit.
UD: Um, how about we strategize tomorrow?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:06:13 GMT -5
*Justin Sane is walking around an empty parking lot looking lost when Sexy Female Journalist# 80 walks up to him holding a large gift.*
SFJ#80: "Ummm Justin? What are you doing?"
JS: "Looking for my car...I have a car right?"
SFJ#80: "I hope not. Anyways, I've got something for you."
JS: "Sweet? Is it hot torrid sex?"
SFJ#80: "Hell no! It's not even from me! It's from Canadian Dragon."
JS: "Dragon? What has he gone Viper on us?"
*Viper comes driving by on a vespa scooter.*
DV: "I AM NOT A HOMO!!! Hey, that's a nice bow on that present? Can I have it?"
SFJ#80: "Sure?"
*Viper puts the bow on his head and drives away.*
JS: "So what's in the box?"
SFJ#80: "I don't know? Could you just open it? The Rick says I have an employee evaluation...and the other girls said I better be drunk for that."
*Shane opens the box to see it contains a neck brace and a legal document.*
JS: "Sweet, a prepaid visit to Iron Knob Medical! Awesome!!! But why does it list my blood type?"
*SFJ#80 and Shane look around confused as the camera fades to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:06:48 GMT -5
FF Capslock chases Attitude Adjuster down in the parking lot.
FFC- Tude! Hey!
AA- Yeah? Oh hey. Look, I don't know how this is gonna work...
FFC- Dude, don't worry about him. He's just worried that your whole friendship with me is just a nefarious plot to gain my trust, exploit it to your own gain, then betray me at an inopprotune moment, He's weird like that.
AA- Yeah...that's just nuts...
FFC- I know, right?
AA- But I'm gonna get going back to the hotel so I'll be seeing ya...
FFC- Naw man! Just because Stank hates you and I hate Johnny and Johnny hates me and you hate Stank and Stank hates Johnny and Johnny hates Stank doesn't mean you and I can't still be buddies.
AA- I guess that's true. We are good friends.
FFC- Listen Alan...no one told you life was gonna be this way.
AA- I know. My job's a joke, I'm broke, my love life's D.O.A.
FFC- It's like you're always stuck in second gear
AA- It hasn't been my day, my week, my month, or even my year!
FFC- But, I'll be there for you.
AA- When the rain starts to pour?
FFC- I'll be there for you.
AA- Like you've been there before?
FFC- I'll be there for you. You know why?
AA- Why's that?
FFC- Cause you're there for me too.
They embrace, dance in a fountain and fall laughing onto a couch inexplicably placed next to the fountain in the middle of a park. They shut off a lamp next to them and watch the fountain as the scene fades out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:07:11 GMT -5
[Johnny, still all alone, watches the previous skit on OOWF TV. He pulls out his cell phone and dials a number.]
JA: Hey... look man... I know you're not... I just wanted to ask you if you saw what happened between Capslock and AA a little while ago. You might have some fresh meat to chase.
DV: [on other end of phone] I AM NOT A HOMO!
JA: Yeah, but...
DV: THAT WAS A FRIENDS RIPOFF, YOU DUMBASS! [click]
JA: [to himself] Goodbye to you, too. I like you Donnie, I really do - NOT IN THAT WAY, INVISIBLE CAMERAMAN - Now I won't feel guilty beating up his cronies this week.
[fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:07:34 GMT -5
*Niles is looking directly in the camera, dressed in his snazzy attire and title over his shoulder.*
Niles - So this is it, huh? The Rick has announced a 3-way dance at this weeks Midweek Mayhem. Well I guess being the fighting champ that I am, I'm gonna walk into this challenge and come out on top like I always do.
Moose, since I've debuted, I've always been one-up on you. You walk around like you own the place. But what about me? I've kidnapped you. I've tortured you. I've outsmarted you. I've done to you what no one else could. I've humiliated you. And you want me to bleed for that. But I won't. I will continue to get the better of you. I will continue to show that I am the best thing that has ever happened to The Establishment. And I'm not there anymore.
Crete, you gullible son of a bitch you. How does it feel to know that everything you once believed in is now shatter? How does it feel to know that everyone you once trusted has either betrayed you or is dead? You've been silent for a while. I haven't heard word one from you since our match. Hurt? Enraged? Biding your time? Or just to much of a coward? I'm inclined to believe the later. You have no clue what it takes to make it in that ring. And you're about to be embarrassed again when I walk out still the champ...
Because thats what 100PM is all about. Bitches don't know.
*Fade to Black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:08:00 GMT -5
<Jack is sitting in a darkend room, lit only by the soft glow of a TV monitor, we see that JAck is watching Niles promo. It finishes and static fills the screen, Jack turns to the camera and speaks>
So, at Dance of Death, it all comes to a head. Moosehead Jack, Niles Anderson, and Concrete TG. I could say how much it would mean to me to walk out of there with the title, how it would put my name among the immortals of the business. How it has been my dream to hold the title since I first started in this business. I could make weepy promises that Dance of Death will be the fufillment of a lifelong dream, the culmination of blood, sweat and teams...
I could do that
But I am not, because that is pure crap
Look, I AM going to win that title at Dance of Death. But not because of some stupid dream, not to show how my career has some how reached it's zenith, and for god's sake certainly not for the ignorant fans. No, no. I am going to win that title, I am going to walk out of that match bathed in the blood of my victims, not because I want the title for myself. I am going to walk out of there with the title so you Niles, and you Concrete, cannot have it.
See Crete, I know you are hell bent on winning the title. Hell that is all you talked about when we were a team, how you would one day win that title and somehoe it would validate your very existance. Well, I have said it before, and nothing has changed. You will not wear that title so long as I have a breath of air in my body. Not at Dance of Death, not this summer, not ever.
And Niles. Niles, at one point I thought you had actually put it all together. I thought you had it all figured out. But then I listen to you talk, and I see you are a man who does not get it. You do not understand what makes a man a man. You think you have something on me. You have left me bloody? Hell damn near everyone in this company has left me bloody. You kidnapped me? Thim Reynolds kidnapped me, and hell he put more of a beating on me than you can even imagine. Now as far as humiliating me......don't flatter yourself Niles. You got one over on me, I will admit that, but humiliated? No, if anything you simply pissed me off and forced me to focus.
See Niles, what you don't understand is this: you say these things, you run around and demand people's respect, you make claims of greatness, you will tell everyone who listens to you how great you are, hell you even have your two lapdogs Adrenaline and AA to tell you how great you are
But deep in your soul, deep down, you know you are a fraud, and you know everyone knows that. And it eats at you every day.
Niles, when you were in the Establishment, you were the man to go after the world title. You were the chosen one there, not me. But it ate at you. You know that without the Establishment's backing, you couldn't back up your boasts. You needed us more than we needed you. And that ate at you. So you turned on me. I can live with that. You got two asskissing yes men to tell you how great you were.
But even then, there was more. See, I know damn well no one in this company likes me, and quite honestly I could care less about that, but you ask them, ask any one of them, do they respect my in that ring? You already know the answer Niles. When I tell you you are going to bleed, you are going to bleed. You might pin me, you might win the match, but you will damn sure know you were in the fight of your life.
What about you Niles? That is what you crave the most. You crave the respect of the boys in the back, and you will never, NEVER get it. You make big boasts, big claims, you are great in your own mind, but everyone knows you are a paper champion. And at Dance of Death, your failure as a champion and a wrestler will finally be exposed.
Trust me.
<Jack kicks the monitor over returning the room to darkness>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:08:28 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels and Drink & Destroy are sitting around drinking at the bar, under the guise of planning for their elimination match this week.]
Stank: So what's the deal? How are we gonna do this?
FFC: What do you think, Alan?
AA: Well, first thing we should do, the four of us, is cut a big ass, in-ring promo to put the match over, and in the process humiliate our opponents to put ourselves over.
FFC: You mean, me and Stank can have a starring role in an AA promo??
AA: Well...
JA: I don't think this is such...
FFC: DID I ASK YOU?
AA: Well, yeah, I guess so.
[Johnny elbows AA.]
AA: Hey, we're partners this week.
Stank: I mean about the match! I don't give a shit about no damn promo with you two clowns!
JA: As far as the match goes, we gotta get UnderDawg outta the way first. From there, it'll be easy pickins...
FFC: WHO DIED AND PUT YOU IN CHARGE? Alan, what do you think?
AA: Well, actually, I think Johnny's got a good idea. Let's get rid of the big Dawg first.
FFC: Brilliant idea, Alan!
JA: Hey, I just said that 20 seconds ago!
FFC: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHNNY!
Stank: Look, if ya'll can't get along over beers, how the hell are ya'll gonna get along as partners?
FFC: [looking at Johnny] WE'RE NOT!
JA: What the hell have I ever done to you?
FFC: YOU ARE AN IRRITATING, WHINY, PIECE OF SHIT!
JA: You're calling me a piece of shit when your tag team partner smells like he's been laying in shit for a week?
Stank: Hey!
FFC: HEY!
RKO: HEY!
[D&D give Orton the DUI thru a nearby table.]
FFC: NOW... BACK TO YOU, YA LITTLE SHIT! [grabs Johnny by the shirt]
AA: Hey guys! Look at this! [AA motions to the TV set mounte over on the wall.]
Stank: Huh?
FFC: What the hell?
AA: I thought we were hyping Midweek Mayhem, not the pay per view.
JA: Did Moose just spoil the Dance of Death main event?
FFC: YES HE DID YOU IDIOT!
AA: You want another drink, buddy?
FFC: Drink? Sure.
AA: Come with me to the bar.
[FFC and AA leave.]
JA: Stank, I'm really trying to get along here, but your partner is a bullheaded son of a bitch.
Stank: Johnny... just keep your mouth shut, stay out of our way, and help us win the match. And everything will be fine. Got it?
JA: All right, all right. But you keep Hothead off my case, okay?
Stank: I'll try, but no promises.
JA: Beer?
Stank: Stop kissing ass, bitch.
[fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:11:06 GMT -5
Moose is walking down a hallway when we see Shashwat Mishra sneak up behind him with a baseball bat. He's just about to swing when running in from the intersecting hallway, Sriram just tackles him to the ground.
Moose turns around to see Sriram slapping Mishra on the head, and yelling.
Sriram: Where's my money, you tool?! Don't you dare run off with my money again!!
Moose shoots a knowing glance at Sriram and walks away. Meanwhile, Shashwat gets back up on his feet, and shoves Sriram in the chest.
SM: What money?! When have I ever taken your money? *Looks around* SHIT! He got away!!
Sriram: You fool, this isn't last week. You're not facing Moose. You don't want to be thrown down a flight of stairs or DDT'd on the floor or hung up using a logger's chain when you don't have a match with Moose! Then again, *looks at SM propping himself up with the baseball bat* you'd probably not like something like that, period!
SM (Mumbling): Tell me about it.
Sriram: Well now, focus! You've got a match with Seraph, and in the condition you're in, your normal tactics won't work so well. *Takes baseball bat and places it on nearby table* Here, I'll show you how to do a keylock...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:11:37 GMT -5
Eric, i am sick of you and your bullshit cheating ways, you should be counting your blessings i never took that Onslaught title from you last week but that was then and this is now and i have a tag match against you and i will take out my revenge for not winning the title out on you.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:12:00 GMT -5
The Devil's Brigade are walking down a hallway discussing whether or not Daniel Craig will be a good James Bond.
HC- I just think Pierce Brosnan isn't too old to play Bond one more time.
TO- Yeh but daniul crreg es the greetes acturr avalabel right noow.
HC- Nobody from America knows who he is. Plus, Rupert Everett would've been a much better choice.
TO- RUPET EVERRTT! Yeh cunt 'ave 'im as James Bunt! 'e is a bloody 'omosexyul!
DV- I AM NOT A...
TO- Nut yoo Dunovun!
DV- Oh.
Suddenly four masked men jump out and attack O'Niel and Camby. They run off leaving them in a pool of blood.
MM1- Teehee! That was great!
MM2- I know. I missed that.
MM1- Missed what?
MM2- The heel beatdown. We've been faces for so long I forgot about that stuff.
MM3- Aren't you guys tweeners?
MM1- SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!
MM4- I dunno. I think you were tweeners. Aren't you?
MM1- You're probably right Alan. You're usually right about these things.
MM3- Didn't I just say...
MM1- SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!
MM3- Can you do something about him?
MM2- Shut the fuck up Johnny.
MM3- 'tude. These guts are starting to piss me off.
MM4- Shut the fuck up Johnny.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:12:50 GMT -5
The camera captures Seraph sitting in a restaurant. The cameraman says, “Of all the places in the world, Seraph has chosen Shashwat’s kitchen in Chinatown. Let’s catch up with him and ask him about it?”
He walks up to Seraph and asks, “Seraph, the fans want to know, what are you doing here? This is enemy territory?”
Seraph looks up from his plate of rice and kebabs. “Mmm…nice food”. He ignores the cameraman and beckons a sexy young waitress. She comes to his table. “Would you please ask the chef to come here? I would love to compliment him in person.”
She smiles and moves away. In a few seconds, Shashwat walks out. He has multiple stitches on his head. Shashwat sees Seraph, is surprised for a second but he smiles.
He comes close to Seraph. “You have guts coming here. I will give you that. You see that the exit is just five feet from where you are. Once you are out of the Kitchen, every step you take without breaking your legs is a gift.”
“Really? Do you fight as well as you cook?” asks Seraph. “ We have some unfinished business. At Mayhem, I will settle that little thing we did in Japan. And, I have to pay you back for the taxi-driver stunt you pulled. I will pay you back in full.” Seraph puts a few dollars down on the plate. “That pays for your food”, he says. He pauses and puts another five dollars down. “Here is you tip. Nice cooking”.
As Seraph goes out of the kitchen, Shashwat yells, “Hey Seraph! Watch your back.”
The camera crew follows Seraph out.
Seraph goes to his bike and rides away. He travels about a hundred feet when he comes across a roadblock. He sees a nasty looking guy slapping a girl around. The cameraman says, “ Fans, what we are seeing is a nasty bit of work. Wonder if Seraph will interfere?”
Seraph gets down and walks up to the pimp. “ Hey, leave the girl alone.”
The pimp looks up. He growls, “And just who the fuck are you bitch? Who the fuck are you?” He towers over Seraph. Seraph looks up at him calmly. He does not say a word. Without looking away, he says, “Miss, get out of here.” The camera shows the girl backing away, hesitant.
The pimp hits Seraph on the face. Seraph staggers for a second. He suddenly drops to his knees and punches the pimp between the legs. The pimp doubles over in pain. Seraph punches him on the face and the pimp goes down in a heap.
Seraph looks around and the camera guys show that four guys have now surrounded Seraph.
“Oh shit”, says the cameraman. Suddenly the camera is knocked down and the fallen camera captures a shot of the road. There are sounds of a scuffle and some sickening thuds.
The camera is picked up again. It shows Seraph and two cameramen lying on the ground, their faces bloodied.
The camera captures Shashwat standing over Seraph’s body. Shashwat throws down a five-dollar note on Seraph. “Take back your tip, bitch!” Shashwat yells in Seraph’s face.
“Come here honey”, he says. The girl who was being hit by the pimp snuggles up to Shashwat. He kisses her. “Are you hurting dear?” he asks. “Not a bit”, she says.
Shashwat grins and kisses her again. He then speaks in to the camera, “ Seraph found out today what it means to cross me, to disrespect me. I admire the fact that he bought the fight to the lion’s den. And, like many others he underestimated me. Too bad for him.”
He pauses and continues, “ My dear Sriram, I thank you for the help you offered. But come on now, do you really want to help me? I think not. Nope…I think not.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:13:16 GMT -5
## Thim is sat in the canteen drinking a cup of Tea and reading a book. As per Doctors orders, and theRicks, he's wearing his helmet.
Suddenly we hear a noise and something pings off his helmet . . . Thim snaps his book closed and turns to stare around the room but seeing no obvious sign of the culprit goes back to reading. A few seconds later we hear another tap as something ricochets off the plastic protec. Again Thim looks around but can see no sign of what is being thrown or who is throwing it. Obviously beginning to steam Thim once again goes back to his book.
Thirty seconds later we hear another noise, only this time we, and Thim, also see a chewed piece of gum roll off the top of his helmet and land in the pages of his book - doing a grand job of sticking the pages together.
Thim looks up from the book, hardly moving but steam almost coming out of his ears now and sees Austraroo almost, but not quite, stifling a laugh - once he sees that Thim has spotted him the game is up and Austraroo, and several other people in the room, begin to laugh uncontrollably.
Thim stands up, walks over to the nearest bin and drops his book into it. He then walks over to where Austraroo, now really REALLY trying (and so so almost succeeding) to look serious, is sitting . . .
TR: funny huh?
Aus: sorry??
TR: throwing food at a disabled person is funny eh??
Aus: disabled, what, no. Look Thim it was just a bit of fun . . . no harm done
TR: FUN?? No harm done . . . what about making me look like an idiot in front of all these people!!!
Aus: don't really think that you needed my help there do you Thim
TR: oh you're just asking for shit now asshole
Aus: actually I think that the person who put an "I'm with stupid (down arrow)" on the back of your protec was asking for it
## There are now audible giggles coming from every part of the room now . . . but curiously Thim seems to be calming down now
TR: stand up kid
## Going totally straight now Austraroo slowly pushes his chair back and stands up
Aus: and??
TR: Payback!!
## holding nothing back Thim headbutts Austraroo straight in the face, crunching his nose and sending his sprawling backwards over his chair
TR: you wanna play games kid?? You wanna make fun of me. Here's a lesson in respect for you.
## Thim kneels down over Austraroo and elbows him in the face three times. If his nose wasn't broken before it certainly is now. Thim rolls Austraroo over and locks in The Adjustment pulling, almost, all the way back. Austraroo is choking and groaning in pain
TR: now, was there something you wanted to say to me kid?
Aus: get . . the . . fuck . . off . . me
TR: in time yes, but I think there was something you wanted to say first
Aus: . . .
TR: something about an apology?? Hmmm??
## Austraroo says nothing so Thim switches the hold into The Reverse Adjustment, a pressure-point variation of the Dragon Sleeper, but again stays away from the throat somewhat to allow Austraroo to barley speak while really cranking in on the back
TR: and now??
Aus: so . . . re
TR: didn't quite catch that
Aus: so . . . re
## Thim relaxes the hold a little to allow Austraroo more air
TR: that better?
Aus: Sorry . . .
TR: close, but I think you forgot about the respect bit
Aus: what?
TR: the word you are looking for is Sir . . .
Aus: fuck y
## Thim immediately cranks back
TR: ah ahhhh . . . I don't think so. Try again
## By this stage Austraroo's head is bright red and veins are visibly bulging everywhere . . .
Aus: so . . . re . . . sir . . .
TR: ahh, much better. That wasn't hard now was it
## With that Thim pulls the move in fully causing Austraroo in his already weakened condition to pass out in around five seconds. Thim drops an unconscious Austraroo to the floor and stands up.
TR: anyone else want to play?? Didn't think so.
## Thim looks down at Austraroo and shakes his head
TR: and you think you've got a shot at Eric O'Mac and MY Onslaught Title . . . I really don't think so. Look mate, I've got this best of Seven series going on with Corax at the moment so I can't bitch slap you this week, but maybe you could talk to theRick about next week?? After-all, there's no way you should be getting a one-on-one and the Onslaught Title without beating the number one contender . . . is there
## Thim smiles and is about to walk off when he stop and turns to the local roadie who was sat next to him
TR: do me a favour MATE!!
Roadie: sure . . .
TR: tell him what I said when he wakes up
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:13:37 GMT -5
As Austraroo regains his composure, a shout of banzaii is heard. Austraroo turns around to see the Sanest Man Alive running towards him wearing a knights helmet and a neck brace. Unfortunately for Justin, the helm/brace combo prevents him from seeing where he is going and he trips over a production crate. Fortunately the helm flies off of his head and connects with the allready injured nose of Austraroo.
A: Oi! You stupid git, what the hell are you thinking?
As Justin gets to his feet, he is demolished by a Roo kick from Austraroo, that launches him through a catering table. As Justin crashes through it a plate of shrimp cocktail falls on him and a nearbye ref counts the three. Austraroo gives Justin another swift kick to the ribs before heading to find a trainer.
A: Bloody prick, who the hell does he think he is.
A short time later Justin Sane emerges from his stupor and rises to his feet.
JS: Well that takes care of Austrailia, now to find the Captain. I can't let LD O'Mac and Eric Williams down, or I'll never get my Freudian Slip of Doom match against ladder.
The Sanest Man Alive rubs the neck brace as he walks off.
JS: Sure was nice of Red Dragon to give me this neck brace after me beating him last week. It's too bad my helm's dented though. Now i'll need a shield for my dragon slaying this week.
Camera fades to black as Justin wanders off aimlessly.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:13:59 GMT -5
A lone Johnny Adrenaline sits in the bar.
JA- Shut the fuck up Johnny. Shut the fuck up Johnny. I have important stuff to say! Assholes.
A shadow looms over him. He turns around to see FF Capslock.
FF- Hey Johnny.
JA- What do you want?
FF- I just wanna clear some stuff up.
JA- Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
FF- Well, we're partners this week, so we gotta work together. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry.
JA- What?
FF- I'm sorry. I've been very harsh to you lately and I have to remember that sneaky underhanded heels have feelings too.
JA- No, we don't.
FF- Sure you do.
JA- Naw dude. I don't.
FF- You want a hug?
JA- NO!
FF- Come on, man. Gimme a hug.
JA- Get away from me!
FF- You'll regret it if you don't.
JA- No. I'm leaving.
Johnny Adrenaline slams the last of his drink and leaves the bar.
FF- He's got intimacy issues.
DV- I'll take that hug if you're still offering.
FF- Yeah, sure thing Donnie.
They hug.
FF- Alright...alright, that's probably enough.
DV- I feel so safe in your arms.
FF- LET GO!
DV- No!
FF- Son of a bitch!
Capslock ends up having to musclebust Viper through a barstool to get him off. Not get him off, but, y'know, get him to let go. Capslock finishes his Rusty Nail and then slams Viper's appletini for good measure.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:14:19 GMT -5
**Thim Reynolds, Eric O’Mac and L.D. Williams are discussing strategy when Justin Sane enters the locker room, tripping over and engaging in a brief brawl with the metal wastebasket. Sane disentangles himself and approaches the now-silent trio.**
JS: “Now that I’ve proven myself, Erin, when do I get my match with that treacherous scoundrel, Ladder?”
EOM: “Um, Justin? You lost.”
JS: “Maybe so, but I made sure that the Dragon got the beating he deserved.”
LD (under his breath): “In whose dreams?”
EOM: “Look, Justin, when we said we wanted you to prove yourself, we were looking for something a little more…convincing.”
JS: “Well, I can do that. I’ve got the Cambodian-”
LD: “Canadian”
JS: “Canadian Dragon. I shouldn’t have any trouble with him.”
LD: “How do you figure?”
JS: “Well, he’s sending me gifts, trying to deflect my wrath.”
TR: “Gifts?”
JS: “He sent me a neck brace and a a prepaid visit to Iron Knob Medical! “
LD (aside to Thim): “Ouch.”
EOM: “No worries Justin. Canadian Dragon and I used to be tag team partners. I can help you get ready for the match.”
JS: “Cool. I’ve got to polish my armor first. I’ll catch up with you later.”
**Justin leaves the room as the other three stare a each other, confused.**
TR: “The Hell was that?”
LD: “Your new tag team partner. Eric thought it’d be a good idea to recruit another guy so we can go after all the gold.”
TR (pauses): “That’s either a very bad joke, or somebody’s going to die.”
EOM: “Yes, it’s a joke Thim. I just think Justin might come in handy.”
TR: “For what? Weaving baskets that we can give as Christmas gifts?”
EOM: “Look, I know he’s a little nuts, but we can use that to our advantage.”
TR: “Last week he got pinned by a beer can.”
LD: “He is improving though. I mean, he did get the best of that garbage can just now...well, almost.”
EOM: “Guys, I know it seems…well, insane…but…”
TR: “Oh, I’m not trying to stop you, Eric. At the very least, it should be entertaining.”
LD: “Besides, Thim, You and nutcase might do pretty well. Maybe we can call you Twisted Chiropractic…”
** Williams ducks a flying shoe as the camera fades to black.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:14:39 GMT -5
the scene cuts to the wCw locker room.
Tommy Wilder is getting his ribs taped up. Capellan is sitting in front of his locker taping his fists. In walks JW,
JW: what's up guys.....Tommy how's the ribs?
TW:they're a little sore
Cap: naw man youribs are messed up as hell, they're a little more than sore.
TW: I guess you could say that, but hey its not gonna slow me down.
JW: Bud, you really need to take it easy....I'll pick up the slack, try not to kill yourself against TTFDU, ok?
TW: We'll see....
Cap: uh huh, yeah we'll see how much of a crazy bastard you are yet again
TW: hey man Go big or go home
JW just shakes his head....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:15:02 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline catches up to Attitude Adjuster in the locker room after leaving the bar. AA is getting ready to leave.]
JA: Look, man... I can't deal with this much longer. Capslock is driving me crazy.
AA: Don't let F.F. get to you man. He's an okay guy. He means well, but he doesn't "get" you.
JA: I don't want him to "get" me.
AA: You wanna go drink with me?
JA: That's where I just came from. He was there, so that's why I'm here. Babbling something about heels having feelings or something.
AA: Well, we do, don't we?
JA: No, we don't.
AA: Well, I...
JA: You're not going tweener on me, are you? It's bad enough we're teamed with faces against four heels this week.
AA: Well...
JA: The Chickenshit Tweeners just don't work, man.
[Capslock peeks in the door.]
FFC: Okay, do tweeners have feelings? Johnny, you really need a hug, man.
JA: If you want a hug so damn bad, hug Tude, here.
FFC: Okay.
[FFC hugs a reluctant AA, but peeks into AA's locker.]
FFC: Is that embroidery?
JA: Why yes it is, if you must know.
[Capslock pulls the ski mask out of the locker.]
FFC: Do all heels just keep these things laying around?
JA: YES, WE DO! NOW WILL YOU LEAVE?
FFC: DON'T YELL AT ME, JOHNNY!
AA: Guys, easy now. Yes, F.F., we keep masks like this in our lockers.
FFC: Yeah, but do they all have your initials embroidered on them?
JA: Yeah, they were a gift from the Champ when we were helping him...
[AA elbows Johnny HARD in the ribs.]
AA: Shut the fuck up Johnny!
FFC: YEAH, JOHNNY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
JA: I'm leaving. [Johnny storms out.]
FFC: What'd we say?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:15:48 GMT -5
(CTG is sitting alone on a bench in a locker room, either at a local gym or at the arena. A towel is draped over his shoulders and he is still soaked with sweat. In fact, he seems to still be breathing hard, still worn from exertion from the workout)
Moose.... Niles.....
I've been dealt a blow that I wasn't sure I'd recover from - sure, I've been beaten down, I've had my brains rattled, my heart staggered, my body battered and bloodied from all manner of abuse. But when a blow lands at the very core of my being, that is when all other pain fades away.
Moose, I've known you a long time.... (wipes face with towel) and we've battled for and against each other, and at one time you said that would make be a better competitor. Maybe it did - I've learned to take every word out of your mouth with a grain of salt.... except one.
I'll take that challenge, but I'm glad it's also happening at Midweek Mayhem. Either way, I see two opportunities - one to humiliate you, and one to win the OOWF title, and I don't care what order.
And Niles - for a time, I thought you had truly found peace with yourself, I thought perhaps that you had finally turned away from the darkness that flowed from Moose, back from your days with the Establishment. I should know better than that, but if my hope for the human race is a weakness, too bad.
I'm someone who, yes, actually cares about people. I cared about you, Niles, when we worked together, even under your false pretenses.
I cared about Semaj. I still do, no matter where he might be.
I cared about Moose when we worked together and when we fought each other. As a team, moreso than when we fought - I respected his disregard for his personal safety and he bled.
But to you, Niles, you have dealt a blow I'm having trouble recovering from. You have, indeed shaken the foundations that make me who I am. As for talking - I haven't had time to talk, all I have had time for is preparation.
I'm preparing to be the man who will represent the OOWF this year.
In a place where perhaps all the heroes are dead, one WILL step forward, and that will be me.
(as if on cue, sunlight pours through a nearby window. LADDER is leaning against the wall, also covered in "sweat" and a towel hanging from one rung)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:16:17 GMT -5
JW Westgaard: Kid, just don't kill yourself before we get another shot at the titles, OK? I gotta go - hit the gym and loosen up for tonight...
<Exists>
Cap: OK, Straight up Bro - how's the ribs?
Wilder: <Grins> Straight? Hurts. I'll be fine in a week or so. Ain't gonna let that sideline me though. The Ride is still out there, man.
Cap: I know it is Tommy - but you know, Birdman - he doesn't get it.
TW: He's cool - 'Birds taught both of us a lot about the OOWF and the busniess, but for him, that is what it is - a business. He puts the other guy down, he wins. Simple.
Cap: You're after something else.
TW: You too Cap - you can't fool me - we've gone over the edge, rode the same wave, breathed the same rare air.
Cap: Dude - you've gone farther than I have - man, I thought I was pretty extreme, 'til you hit the scene.
TW: Jealous?
Cap: Oh, hell no! Wild-man, I got my place - the point where it all makes sense and comes together. My sensi calls it "mu" - nothing. You ain't there - I can tell.
TW: Yup. Man, first time I got in the ring, it was a rush. Going off the top rope? Better. Pain wasn't anything - just another piece of the puzzle - part of the rush. Bigger air, faster wheels... That's why I added the Airwalk. You know - I could've pinned Gator last week without that ladder stunt...
Cap: Yeah - But you needed to go bigger... Cost you though.
TW: Worth it man - we'll get another run with the belts.
Cap: But JW doesn't understand the WHY, Tom - he thinks you're taking chances for no reason.
TW: I don't know - remember our first jump as a team? 'Bird was scared to death. But he jumped.
Cap: <Chuckles> Bitched you out something fierce for it too...
TW: But check him now Cap - he's throwin' himself out there - Hell, he swaned the last bridge jump we did - JW doesn't know it, but he's connecting.
Cap: You might be right - but how about you? How far, Bro? How far over the edge you gonna go?
Wilder: I'll let you know when I get there. Tell you what though - when I get that ultimate rush - everyone is gonna know.
Cap: Right on. I'll have your back. You know the 'Bird will too...
TW: Yup! If you're gonna go crazy, travel with a couple of friends....
<JWW Walks back in>
JWW: Wilder, Cap - check it out - they got a base jump set up off some cliff outside of town! You two keep saying I need to try it. OK - here's the deal - Tommy doesn't die tonight, I give it a shot.
Wilder: Do you one better - we WIN the titles back, we get some babes and do a bareback jump...
JWW: A what? OH! Hell yeah!
<TW looks at Cap, who gives him the thumbs up.>
TW: Hell yeah.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 20, 2008 20:16:35 GMT -5
"You know," Capellan muses as wCw complete their preparations for their matches, "What I don't understand about this country isn't the driving on the left-hand side of the road, or what the hell their slang is all about ... it's why no-one here seems to know what a Bloomin' Onion is. I thought that was like the national dish."
"What about the looks they gave me when I asked for biscuits and gravy?" JW asks, "It was like I had two heads."
Wilder shakes his head
"Bro. One word: Vegemite."
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