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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:08:10 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!
Live! From Odder, Denmark
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Hardbody Harris vs. Chris Cole
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Capellan vs. Eric O'Mac
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Devil's Brigade vs. wCw
Thim Reynolds vs. Canadian Dragon
Josh O'Neal vs. Microplay
Seraph vs. Mr. Jealous
Corax vs. Predator
Siriram vs. Niles Anderson
Firechild vs. Shashwat Mishra
Uncle Entity vs. Nayr
Concrete TG vs. Matt Daddy
Austraroo vs. Mercury vs. Canadian Dragon
Drink & Destroy vs. The Chickenshit Heels
Justin Sane & Phil vs. The Black Dawgs
Moosehead Jack & LD Williams vs. THe Team From Down Under
Card subject to my dimensia
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:11:18 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Stank are laying on tables backstage getting stitches and various medical assistance.
S- There's no shame in it. Go ahead and say it. You were?
FFC- Wrong.
S- And I was?
FFC- Right.
S- And you should have?
FFC- Seen it coming.
S- I can't believe you didn't, man.
FFC- Who could have seen that coming?
S- LADDER saw that coming.
FFC- Well, what are we gonna do about this?
S- Uh...well, I don't know. We probably aren't gonna end this thing on Wednesday.
FFC- Why not?
S- Blow-off matches aren't given away for free. So these dicks are gonna do something chicken-shitty and keep weaseling out of getting the ever-loving fuck beaten out of him until we get some sort of gimmick match at a pay-per-view.
FFC- Okay. Sounds good. So should we even pretend that we're gonna get revenge this Wednesday?
S- Ech...I don't have the energy to pretend anymore. I know damn well that this is gonna drag on for a while.
INCM- You do know I'm filming you, right?
S- Shut the fuck up, Invisible Ninja Cameraman!
FFC- OOWF: Where Kayfabe Came To Die.
S- You hoping 004 see's that and puts it in the subtext?
FFC- Maybe. It doesn't have to be that. It could be anything, really. But "Where dorks collide!" has been up there for like two months now.
S- Good point. He should put something new up there.
INCM- I don't even know what you guys are talking about anymore.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:11:42 GMT -5
Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are sitting at a bar. For once, FF Capslock and Stank are nowhere to be found.
AA: Was that not the greatest swerve ever?!
JA: EVAR!!!
AA: Shut the f*ck up, Johnny!
JA: NO, you shut the f*ck up, STANK!!!!
AA and JA share in a hearty laugh.
AA: I can’t believe you went out golfing with Stank. That was hilarious!
JA: Not quite as hilarious as you having to drink with Capslock in his VW bus across England!
AA: Man, that thing smelled. And do you know how many times he professed his love to me? He was in Donnie Viper land!
JA: And how about that bathroom hallway brawl? You think they would have figured out it was a work when all those wrestlers came out to break us up.
JA: Man, they are such idiots!
AA reaches for the OOWF-TV remote and turns on the TV. They see the Drink & Destroy promo before them.
AA: So they think we’re going to Chickenshit Heel our way out of fighting them at Midweek Mayhem. Who do they think they are, breaking kayfabe like that? That’s our gimmick!
From off camera, we hear: Damn...
JA: WE’RE GETTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER!
From off to the side, Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, The Boogeyman, Fred the Monkey and Jesus C. Kidneypuncher walk into the scene.
RF: WHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was, by gawd, the meanest, scene-stealing-est, limo-driving-est SWERVE I’ve seen since Ole and Gene Anderson suckered Dusty Rhodes into saving me from the Russians in the cage and then we broke The Dream’s By Gawd knee!!!
JA: Jesus, I thought you were dead!
JCK: Actually, I am, but I have nothing better to do so I figured I’d drop by and see how this turned out.
AA: Now we get to beat on D&D again this Wednesday. And once they’re out of the way, we head straight to the OOWF tag team titles! It’s only a matter of time before The Devil’s Brigade drop those titles so they can feud with Viper. That means a face team has to beat them. And when a face team has the belt, The Rick has to put the most dynamic heel team in the OOWF into the title picture. We’re golden!
JA: This is so great. I feel better than I have in months. I’m going to get 36 holes in today.
AA: Ric, start making sandwiches! Ron, get the kegs tapped! Boogeyman, go get somebody! Jesus, take care of Fred. The Chickenshit Heels are back in business!
RF: WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:12:10 GMT -5
SFJ is standing with The Devil's Brigade and Ayaka.
SFJ8: Harper and Tommy ......
TO: Shaddup ye daft Kunt...Ayaka, ya wanna tek cura dis Silly twat fa me?
with that Ayaka roundhouse kicks SFJ #8 in the head sending her sprawling across the floor.
Harper picks up the mic and looks into the camera.
HC: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of the OOWF everywhere, here me now when I say this...no one is safe. Nobody. Tommy and I are are goin after everybody. Face. Heel. Tweener.....Whoever.
If your name isn't Ayaka, Harper Camby or Tommy O'Neil your days are numbered. The devils will have their due and when all is said and done WE will stand tall among a mass of broken bodies.
TO: 'an....I 'ope ya like the fekkin ass kick ye got....dtas been coming fer a long time...ye a shadow a yer forma sef....now ya got nuttin lef.....na pride....no girls....no ti'les nutting
HC: Viper we were your Guardians for way too long...we did what Hardbody, Underdawg and Niles couldn't.....we put you down for the count and then some you ever wanna come back? We'll have a Triple 6 waiting for ya...... Or maybe we'l just let Ayaka take care of your pansy ass....
TO: so 'ere's a bit a advice for ya Duhnie.....fer ya own good Stay gone ya silly ferry wanka.
TO: And the rest of ya bastads be on the loo'out cause a war is coming and we're bringin' hell with us
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:12:37 GMT -5
Stank - Well at least Johnny still hasn't gotten laid. Though I didn't anticipate SFJ#8 going for AA I guess things work out better this way.
FFC - What are you talking about?
Stank - SFJ#8. I left her as a present for Johnny boy but she mistakenly slept with AA... Anyway she used to be a man.
FFC - Wow! SFJ#8 used to be a man?
Stank - Yeah. Whoever her doctor was did a great job on the rack.
FFC - Um... how did you find out she was...
Stank - You don't wanna know.
FFC - ewww.
Stank - Hey since The Chicks are back together you wanna go to the bar and get a little revenge? Afterall, cutting promos from bars is OUR gimmick.
FFC - Yeah and we should take back that monkey we gave them.
Stank - I don't want that feces throwing monkey. That's why we gave it to them remember?
FFC - Man this promo sucks... I miss Alan.
Stank - YOU WHAT!
FFC - You have to admit, the man did cut some GREAT promos.
Stank - Well he won't be cutting anymore great promos without THIS!
FFC - HOLY SH*T you stole Alan's BAG-O-PROMOS!
Stank - That I did.
FFC - How come we didn't use one for this promo?
Stank - I can't get the stupid bag open.
FFC - Lemme see that... You got to pull on the zipper harder.
DV - I AM NOT A HOMO!
Stank - Careful Lock! You don't wanna break it!
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Stank - Aww DAMMIT! You SPILT the promos ALL OVER THE PLACE!
FFC - Whoops. My bad.
Stank - Gah! Look at this mess!
FFC - Wow. Some of them gelled into surprise faces.
Stank - Hey lookit THAT!
FFC - What?
Stank - Right there... it looks like it says... Alan the ass! HA!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:13:26 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels and their entourage are still at the bar carrying on.]
AA: ...and Capslock said, "Only if you kiss me first!"
[Everyone laughs.]
JA: And what was with the "I LOVE YOU, MAN!" crap?
AA: I told ya he was going Donnie Viper on me!
[Everybody waits...]
JCK: Um... isn't that guy supposed to come around the corner or something?
JA: Guess he's still in the hospital.
[Suddenly, a short, fat, balding man comes running in the bar.]
SFBM: HE'S ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE!
JA: Huh?
SFBM: I TOLD YOU GUYS!
AA: What the hell...?
SFBM: I WAS AT THE GRAVE, JOHNNY! YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT, ALAN!
AA: Yo Jesus, get this guy outta here!
[JCK punches the short, fat, balding man in the kidneys and tosses him outta the bar.]
AA: Great job, man. That's the most I've ever seen you do!
JCK: Do I get paid now?
AA: Hell, why not?
[Capps pulls out a wad of cash and begins flipping thru hundred dollar bills, finds a five and hands it to Jesus.]
JCK: Gee thanks.
AA: Don't spend it all in one place.
[Jesus leaves.]
JA: Hey, let's cut a promo, ya know... since it's been so long.
AA: Well, I'll just pull out the special, coveted, irreplacable, induplicatable, Chickenshit Heel BAG O'PROMOS! [reaches under table]
JA: I still think that would've been a good match.
AA: Where'd it go?
JA: Huh?
AA: The bag? You got it, Johnny?
JA: I don't have it. You had "custody" of it remember?
AA: Well, it wasn't in my locker.
JA: I don't have it.
AA: Well you must have it, cause I don't...
RS: Will you two idiots look at this TV over here! [points to OOWF-TV on behind bar]
AA: HE SPILLED THE PROMOS! THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
JA: Good one, Einstein! Now they know our secrets!
RF: I'LL KICK HIS ASS! [Flair flops.]
AA: We gotta get it back.
JA: Sure... let's just run back to the arena and ask for them. That'll work GREAT!
AA: I'll come up with something...
JA: Oh great...
AA: Hey, the swerve worked, didn't it?
[Suddenly, The Boogeyman smashes a bottle of alochol behind the bar and eats the busted glass.]
AA: Guess he wanted in on this, too.
JA: Well, it HAS been a while...
[fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:13:54 GMT -5
The camera shows Kim Basinger and Shashwat Mishra at “The Thing?” Dragoon, Arizona. They are both having ice creams.
The OOWF camera crew has managed to follow them.
“Shashwat, what are your thoughts at this week’s Mayhem match against Firechild? And the fans want to know what’s with you and Kim Basinger? Does Alec Baldwin know about this?”
Shashwat says, “I will only answer since you dorks won’t leave me in peace otherwise. No I am not worried about Chris Cole’s girlfriend, Firechild. He and I have a little unfinished business. I have to pay him back with a bit of interest for interfering during my little spat with Cole. After, I am done with him, he will be giving Ax some company. Second, who gives a crap on what the fans want to know? Now, get out of here before i kick your collective butt”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:14:20 GMT -5
"Huh." Capellan raises his eyebrows as he views the card, "So I have a match with the Onslaught champ, but only my belt is on the line? The Rick's been booking with the Jack Daniels again."
"Jack who? Is he a new wrestler?" Wilder's had too much Red Bull, and it takes a moment for his brain to catch up with the rest of his higly-sugared body. "Oh, that Jack Daniels."
"If it ain't caffeinated, Tommy don't know about it." JW observes. "You're right though Cap, seems like Eric's got nothing to lose."
"Oh, he has one thing to lose." Capellan grins, "The match."
wCw high five to fade out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:14:44 GMT -5
-Chuck Norris and Matt Daddy are sitting in a Starbucks having a cup of coffee together. They are discussing a battle plan now that Firechild is out of the picture. Matt Daddy has a puzzled look on his face.
Chuck: "What's on your mind partner?"
MD: "Something at the PPV really bothered me. I asked everyone in the audience to bring things I could use in the match... But they were all so lethargic. They aren't smiling anymore, they hardly pop the way they used to when I watched the show on TV, and the only thing they seem able to do is chant... we want more... we want more."
CN: "I noticed that too... any suggestions on how to bring the crowd back to life?"
MD: "We need to find out what is going on first. I've hired a professional."
-Gil Grissom walks in the room with a cocky look on his face.
Grissom: "I'm on the case... Leave things to me."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:15:07 GMT -5
Nayr is watching some tapes of Uncle Entity
Nayr: Oh great, I have a match up against a certified bi-polar with a Masters in English. Who happens to have a history on substance abuse. I know we don’t like to acknowledge anything WWE does (except for Ric Flair) but I sure hope we have some sort of drug program.
Invisible Ninja Cameramen: It just so happens we do, kid. I’ve got everything you need right here. Boy, you really need it, don’t you? How did you even make it into this business, midget?
Nayr: I meant a program outlawing drugs. And I’m not a midget! I’m 5"5! I’m just a bit short, okay?
INC: Okay, midget, whatever you say.
Nayr: Hey, wait a minute! Aren’t you breaking the fourth wall? You know, some of us take this business seriously!
The Invisible Ninja Cameraman vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Nayr: Well, unless there’s another invisible ninja cameraman, I can plan strategy in peace. Now, it looks like Entity is a power brawler. I guess I’ll have to use my speed and agility. I mean, who saw that coming? I think it should be an even match-up then.
Second Invisible Ninja Cameraman: Oh for the love of God! Do something interesting! But I guess that’s just too much to ask from a stupid masked midget. God! I hate my job! It doesn’t pay enough! I don’t have a dental plan!
Nayr: Why don’t you invisible ninja cameramen try unionizing?
SINC: Actually, I don’t support the idea of unions.
Nayr: Well, it’s an interesting concept. You see, one day in Russia, a man named Karl Marx saw how the working class were being oppressed and.... Hey! Fourth wall!
The second Invisible Ninja Cameraman disappears in a puff of smoke.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:15:33 GMT -5
<Chris Cole & Firechild are seated at a table each writing notes in a notebook.>
CC: What was your name again?
<Camera pans to show Justine Sane>
JS: Justin Sane
FC: Hasn't that gimmick been done before?
JS: What gimmick?
FC: You know, that guy from ECW. Justin Credible.
JS: Never heard of him.
FC: Ooookay
CC: Well Justin, you are interested in joining 3 Piece Set?
JS: Absolutely. I always wanted to be a part of a faction. I can get your back against your foes and you two can help keep LADDER from attacking me from behind all the time.
FC: Ladder? Who the heck is that?
JS: Don't you watch my matches and promos? He follows me all the time.
CC: I can't say that I've ever seen a match of yours.
FC: Nope, not one.
CC: Well this here is Luke Eliot. He is a freind of ours. We want you to show us some of your wrestling ability.
JS: Can do.
<JS goes to the mat and locks up with LE. JS gets an arm bar and then a kick to the gut and a nice looking dropkick. He charges LE but LE sidesteps and JS crashes into a nearby LADDER which falls on top of him and pins him to the ground. JS flails around for a bit while LE steps on the ladder and counts his pin.>
CC: I think we've seen enough. We'll get back with you.
JS: Damn you LADDER. Always interfering in my matches!!!
FC: What a tool.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:16:04 GMT -5
The camera continues to follow the Sanest Man Alive as he storms through the backstage area.
JS: First Tim turns on me costing me a tag match against ladder, and now Ladder prevents me from gaining 20 piece dinnette set as allies. This is getting out of hand. I just can't go it alone, how can I get revenge on Moosehead Jerks flunkies with Ladder hounding me at every term.
Justin stops outside the GM's office checking this weeks card.
JS: Great now I have a tag match against Undearwear and the Bronze Dragon, the Puppie Dawgs! Well let's see who my partner is.
Justin checks the sheet again and his eyes seem to light up in joy.
JS: Of course it's the 11th Level Prehistoric Zombie Pirate Ninja Robot Wizard from Outer Space, we made for a darn good team at the ppv recently.
Justin pauses mulling over the thought of such a division killing team.
JS: With the 11th Level Prehistoric Zombie Pirate Ninja Robot Wizard from Outer Space's High flying acrobatics and awesome mat based submission skills combined with my amazing feats of strength and quick analytical mind we could be unstopabble. It looks like things are finally looking up for the Sanest Man Alive.
With that Justin runs off looking to strategize with what he hopes is a new found ally.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:16:30 GMT -5
*Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are still freaking out at the bar when Niles Anderson walks in.*
Niles - Bartender, get these guys the most expensive scotch you have.
*The bartender starts pouring.*
Niles - Nice swerve, boys. Even I didn't see that one coming.
JA - Niles, we got a problem.
AA - Stank and Capslock have the Bag O' Promos! How are we supposed to cut promos without it?
Niles - Woah woah woah! Guys, I might cut great promos, but you're the experts in that department. Its your gimmick for fucks sake! How the hell do you expect me to help you out with that?
JA - Well, you are the boss.
Niles - Guys, in a team like ours, being the boss only means something when I'm buying you drinks.
DV - I'm not a homo!
*The Bartender serves the scotch to AA and JA.*
Niles - But if thats all you think I got you...
*Niles turns and makes a motion with his hand as if to summon someone. All of a sudden, a couple of girls from the Price is Right come and present solid gold golf clubs to AA and JA. Rod Roddy somehow makes an appearence despite being dead.*
RR - Alan and Johnny, you are now proud owners of these FABULOUS SOLID GOLD GOLF CLUBS!!! These clubs are made with only the finest 24k gold but are designed to give you maximum comfort with your grip and swing. They are clinically proven to increase your distance to a HOLE IN ONE EVERYTIME!!! The putter in this set is purely decorative and is decorated with the most elegant diamonds all along its shaft. Who will win next on THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!!
Niles - Thanks Rod, I can take it from here.
*RR and the girls leave.*
AA - Man, Donnie Viper could've interrupted that rant at at least 3 intervals.
JA - These are AMAZING!
Niles - I thought you guys would like them.
Bartender - HEY, KIDS AREN'T ALLOWED IN HERE!!!
*Everyone is startled by the bartenders outburst when Niles looks down and sees a palefaced, redeyed kid pulling on his pant leg.*
Kid - Mr. Anderson, I brought my parents credit card, you promised me more candy!
Niles <nervously> - Uh... kid... I don't know you. You gotta get out of here.
*Niles picks up the kid and punts him out the bar door.*
JA - What was that about boss?
Niles - Uh, some confused kid. Just wandered in here. You know kids afterall *nervous laugh*.
AA - But what was he talking about cand...
*Niles slaps AA across the face.*
Niles - I bought you guys golf clubs and all you want to talk about is some stupid kid! Go play golf you fucks!
*AA and JA quickly pick up their clubs and leave. Niles sits at the bar and notices the scotch hasn't been touched yet. He quickly downs the 2 glasses and lets out a sigh of relief. Fade to Black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:16:52 GMT -5
Metrosexual Male Journalist: You are facing Moosehead Jack and LD Williams.
WBK: Don't you guys learn how to ask a question in journalism school?
MMJ: That was an elective. I blew it off.
WBK: Gator?
*CHOMP! MMJ is DEAD!
OBJ: Anyways, we know to expect fast paced violence, action packed violence, and wild violence.
GB: You said violence 3 times, mate.
OBJ: I like violence.
GB: Of course, our opponents do too. But I wonder how well they will work as a team. After all, Moose is maybe a little distracted by all of his feuds. Neither guy has had the best luck with tag team partners in the past. Maybe their goals are a little different. Not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.
*MMJ is being stretchered out in the background.*
OBJ: Wally, maybe we can ask the Rick to only have the sheilas interview us.
WBK: Now might not be the best time.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:17:15 GMT -5
(SFJ #32 stops Concrete in the hallway)
SFJ: Concrete, tonight will be your first match in the Onslaught division against Matt Daddy. Are you prepared for this match?
CTG: well, that's a silly question - This is the style of wrestling I'm used to, where there's no weapons, no blood, no barbed wire. We're actually going to WRESTLE tonight!
SFJ: you sound excited
CTG: I couldn't be happier - well if the OOWF title was involved, maybe.
SFJ: How is it you keep your composure despite all the chaos backstage?
CTG: I try to keep myself distanced from some of the other things that go on back here, but sometimes it's to-WHOooooooOOA~!!
(CTG Slips on something in the hallway and almost falls on his face)
SFJ: o,o are you ok?
CTG: (frowns) Whoever spilled that Bag O Promos needs to clean things up better. (tosses a stray ampersand at the wall)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:17:59 GMT -5
BD is DANCING~! clad in nothing but a towel.
BD: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON! Woo, woo!
UD: (appearing in a cloud of smoke) Hey partner....why the hell are you naked?
BD: I'm covered up. You know Big Dawg, I was like 2 weeks away from turning on you, seeing as you kept costing us all those matches. But then, we stepped inside a cage, with arguably one of the top teams in wrestling and sent their monkey asses back to down under. (BD puts his hand on UD's shoulder and UD pries it off)
UD: Do not touch me when you're naked.
BD: You ever wonder why Viper never comes in our locker room.
UD: Furthest thing from my mind. Why are even entertaining a thought like that.
BD: I don't know, you two go way back, and about once a month I say or do something vaguely homosexual, so I was just curious.
UD: You make my head hurt. Why did you call me anyway?
BD: I just wanted to see your sexy mug before we go destroy Sane and Phil. I mean, we only have to worry about Phil. Sane will probably get beat up by a scaffold or something before the match even starts. You're just as magical as Phil and while you two do your thing, I'll just roll the big bastard up. You smell that? It smells like a winning streak.
UD: Maybe you should go steal some of those promos lying around in D&D's locker room.
BD: What are you trying to say Big Dawg?
UD: (sighs and vanishes just as he appeared)
BD: I could cut great promos damn it. The chicken shit heels are just holding me down. (looks around) When you got that glow, you feel you're one when you got that glow. Your body knows when you got the glow. It's the power of elevation.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:18:51 GMT -5
Matt Daddy and Chuck Norris are sitting on a couch watching the CTG interview
Matt Daddy: "Bag O' Promos... that's gold! I don't think I've ever seen anything so creative in my life. I don't think I'll ever be able to think of something like that for a promo. What do you think Chuck?"
Chuck Norris: "I think you're in trouble there partner. This man has legitamate in ring experience and you heard him... Real wrestling is his cup of tea. Have you thought of a strategy?"
Matt Daddy: "Yeah, I'm going to walk into the ring, shake his hand, have a good clean match and one of us will make the cover for a 1-2-3."
CN: "One of you? This is your chance to shine... This man has, like I said before, legitamate ring credit and you have a match with him. If you lose, you're just another Joe... But if you win, not a single person would be able to question your ability in the ring."
Concrete TG walks into the room.
MD: "Creete, It's a pleasure, would you care to join us?"
CTG: "I'm a bit busy right now. I've been watching your promos though, and I was wondering why you would hire Gil Grissom for PI work... Isn't he a mortician?"
MD: "Im not sure...? Thanks for the constructive criticism. I'll look into it myself."
CTG: "Great... I'm going to go warm up for the match. How are your ribs?"
MD: "They're still sore, but I'll manage."
CTG: "Good to know. I have to go..."
MD: "Take 'er easy... Good luck!"
CTG leaves the room. Chuck Norris looks irratated.
Chuck: "Did you hear how arrogant that guy is? I'm dissapointed in you. Good luck? Are you trying to lose the match?"
MD: "Naw Chuck, I'm just trying to be a good sport, you know, in the spirit of the game, may the best man win and all that Jazz. I don't think he was being arrogant at all. He just came in to give me a hand."
CN: "That's sad... Ignorant and sad. You need to win. You need to get over with the wrestlers here... Prove you're a dominant force in the onslaught division. Show them that Eric-o-Mac's days are numbered."
MD interrupts
MD: "Look Chuck... I know what you're saying, but my time will come. I train everyday, I eat right, I take my vitamins, and people generally like me. People will realize the effort I put in the ring and they will chear me on. I don't need to cheat, lie, etc. I rely on intensity, on ingenuity and heart. That's all a real winner needs.
Chuck Norris cools off.
CN: "I hope you're right partner. Don't expect me to pick up the pieces though."
Chuck leaves the room and Matt changes the channel to discovery.
MD: "Mythbusters... awsome!"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:20:19 GMT -5
[Scene begins when Eric O'Mac's Agent walksin to Eric O'Mac's locker room. Eric greets him with a hug.]
Agent: Whoa, whoa, what gives?
Eric: Well Andrew, I don't know how you did it, but you finally got me some real competition. For one night only, I don't have to worry about beating the ass of those in the Onslaught Division. I've been there, I've done that.. I'll do it over and over again if I'm forced to. But now I've got a shot at a fellow champion. The Intercontinental Champion, Capellen!
Agent: Well, Eric, you know it'll be a challange.
Eric: EXACTLY! That's what I wanted! I've lost count of how many times I've beaten Firechild, Candian Dragon and the other jackasses in the Onslaught Division - I was bored. You found me someone new! Someone I havent beaten. And you even did me one better - he's a champion. And his title is on the line - NOT mine. I love it!
Agent: Well, as long as you are aware..
Eric: I'm aware of a lot of things Andrew, and I'm aware you've earned a raised. But Capellen better be aware that I'm the best pure wrestler in the world - and I'll do anything to win your title - by hook or crook, you are going down. Take notice Capellen - it'll be lights out, bitch!
[End scene]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:21:12 GMT -5
<Eric O'Mac is walking down the hall beaming with pride, Onslaught Championship slung over his shoulder. As he walks by GM the Rick's office, Rick sees him and calls Eric into the office> GMtR: Eric, I have been looking for you.... EOM: Yeah, I was with my agent all week, gotta make some plans for life after wrestling you know, the agent says I have a face for Hollywood, and you know he is also the agent for Tom Cruise and Chuck Norris, so the man knows his stuff. Anyway, so I am in London when I run into Keira..... GMtR: Eric, I'm sorry, but I really don't care. Anyway, I am sure you noticed by now that you have a match for the Intercontinetal title tonight and you are not defending your Onslaught Championship. EOM: Yeah I noticed that GMtR: And did you even wonder a little bit as to WHY you were not defending the title tonight? EOM: Well, I figured it was because I had beaten every pretender to my title in the division and you were just waiting for someone else to step up. Speaking of which, Rick you should step up and hire an agent, they could get you out of this one horse fed and you could book up north, you are JUST the kind of writer monkey I heard they are looking for.... GMtR: That's funny, I thought I had mentioned that I didn't care. Anyway, no, the reason you are not defending the Onslaught Championship tonight is because you are no longer the Onslaught Champion EOM: Rick, Rick, you have been hitting the hooch a little too hard. See this big shiney title right here? This says I AM the champion, until someone beats me, which is not going to happen anytime soon. I mean I AM the longest reigning Onslaught Champion of all time, and hell one of the longest reigning champions of all time as well, I may hold this title until I retire, and then take the title with me to Hollywood where I become a leading man, my agent says they are looking for the next Vin Di.... GMtR: I SAID I don't care! Anyway Eric, I would actually like to congratulate you on the title reign, very impressive. As you might have heard, I am shuffling the roster a bit.... EOM: Yeah, that's the rumor GMtR: Well, I have decided to move you to the Intercontinental title division, which is why you get the title shot tonight, given your won-loss record, and recent reign as champion.... EOM: YOu mean CURRENT reign. Sweet! When I win the Intercontinental title, I will be the first dual champion in OOWF history! GMtR:<shaking his head> YOU. ARE. NOT. LISTENING! Since I am moving you to the Intercontinental title division, that means that as of right now, you are no longer the Onslaught Champion. I am stripping you of the title and putting it up for grabs in a tournament starting March 15th, open to Onslaught division wrestlers ONLY! EOM:<eyes wide in anger> THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!! HOW DARE YOU STRIP ME OF THE TITLE!!!! MY AGENT WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!! WE WILL SUE!!!! GMtR: Look, it is already done. You think you can win the Intercontinental title tonight anyway, so in your mind, you will be without a title for all of - what- two or three hours? So quit crying. Now, I have work to do, I have to post the new divisions before this week's MidWeek Mayhem, so the matches make a little more sense. Just leave the title on my desk, and some friendly advice? Get ready for Capellan EOM: <barely notices GM the Rick's advice, instead he is lovingly looking at the Onslaught title as he slowly sets it on Rick's desk, turns and walks out the door> ******************* <Old School Promo time! Jack and LD Williams stand infront of the old blue screen> MHJ: You know a wise man once said you never run blindly to the enemy, but rather you find their weakness and attack. Now I know some of you are already questioning my partnership with LD Williams, some of you may think that I am more interested in the OOWF world title, or I am more interested in putting a few more knots on Concrete's head. But that's not the case is it LD? <Williams just smirks> MHJ: See when I found out I was going to be moved to the tag ranks, I will admit I was not very happy. I had an agenda and GM the Rick and those idiots Niles and Concrete managed to mess all that up. But then this man <slaps LDW on the chest> approached me about teaming up. See I have said it before, there are not many men who have earned my respect around here, LD Williams is one of them. I know this man is one of the toughest men in the OOWF, and I know when he says he has my back, he has my back. And LD knows I have his back too. So Jack, Gator, we know you are up for a fight, you better be ready for one this week. Take no prisoners, and show no mercy until those tag titles are ours. <Williams glares at the camera, smirks again and walks away. The camera focuses on Jack> He doesn't say much, but he doesn't have to either. Trust me, Fear Williams <Fade> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:21:35 GMT -5
*GM The Rick is sitting in his office talking on the phone.*
GMtR: "What do you mean we have to give him promo time? I think it's best if he keeps his ludicrous yapper shut. I mean, the guys levels of jackassery and assholitude are way too high."
*GM The Rick pauses while the voice on the other end talks.*
GMtR: "Look, I have to go make a sign for the next Dayton Flyers game and I'm running low on glitter. Just get to the point and cut all the douchebaggery crap. Look, if the guy wants promo time that's fine...just stop fucking using the Canadian Destroyer!"
*GMtR pauses again.*
GMtR: "Look, I get it...that toolbox of a Canadian has a contract the size of Erlana's chest. I know it, you know, hell my very own writer monkey's know it. That's not the point....
*GMtR is cut off by the person on the other end of the line.*
GMtR: "He did what? To who? Off a ladder and through Ric Flair's sandwich table? Fuck, no where am I going to get lunch...and get me another Hook...um...err...schedule more interviews for Sexy female Journalists!"
*Camera fades to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:21:56 GMT -5
Stank - Yeah Lock, some of it got out here too. Geez there's an ampersand stuck to the wall!
FFC - AND?
Stank - And what?
FFC - AND?
Stank - And WHAT?
FFC - AND?
Stank - And NOTHING. What's your deal?
FFC - Nevermind.
Stank - Anyway when is this thing supposed to start? We've been sitting here for hours. I'm always amazed by how PATIENT our fans are. Listen to em. They've been chanting for forever.
Crowd - O-O-W-F *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP CLAP CLAP* O-O-W-F *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP CLAP CLAP*
FFC - I don't know about them but I'm getting antsy. Let's go to the concession and grab a beer.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 24, 2008 12:22:45 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Live! From Odder, Denmark JOSH O’NEAL vs. MICROPLAYJosh comes to the ring first and patiently waits in the corner for Microplay to come to the ring. MP heads toward the ring without his usual sneer to the crowd, but rather with a look of grim determination on his face. As MP tries to get into the ring, JO attacks and catches him with a knee to the side of the head that sends MP to the floor. Josh follows MP to the outside and slams his head onto the steel guard rail, then scoops him up and slams him on the concrete floor. Josh waits for MP to get to his feet, then levels him with a clothesline. Josh rolls into the ring and gets to one knee and flexes before an unappreciative crowd. Microplay is up to his feet on the outside and slowly gets on the apron. Josh grabs MP by the head and runs him down the apron aiming for the steel ring post, but MP puts on the brakes and sends JO face first to the turn buckle. Josh staggers backward to the center of the ring, and MP quickly climbs the ropes and leaps for a double axe handle to the face, but Josh catches him in a bear hug. MP yells in pain as Josh uses his massive strength advantage to squeeze the life out of MP. Microplay is starting to fade, gasping for breath and looking for a way to break the hold. When all else fails, MP goes to the scientific thumb to the eye. Josh breaks his hold and grabs his eye trying to clear his vision. MP falls to one knee and gasps for breath. As JO turns around and gropes half blindly for MP, Microplay springs to his feet and catches Josh right on the chin with a running knee lift. Josh staggers back into the corner, and MP follows him in with a back elbow. MP then grabs Josh and bulldogs him out of the corner. MP covers, but Josh is able to roll his shoulder at two. MP gets to his feet and looks around like a wild man, the ref questions him, so he threatens to knock the ref out. MP bounds off the ropes and leaps in the air and drops a knee across JO’s sternum. Another cover only gets a two count. Microplay pulls O’Neal to his feet and hauls him up in a vertical suplex, and leaves him there to think about it for a few seconds, then crashes to the mat. MP floats over and gets another two count. Microplay looks at the fallen JO and calls for the flying elbow! MP climbs the ropes, but takes a little too long getting to the top and Josh gets to his feet and falls against the ropes crotching MP on the top. Josh climbs after MP and the two fight for a moment on the top rope. This time Josh rakes the eyes, then grabs MP in a bear hug and throws him over his shoulders with a release belly-to-belly suplex! Josh waits for MP to get to his feet, then leaps and nearly decapitates him with a flying clothesline! Josh rolls over and locks on the O-No! and gets the quick submission. WINNER in 9:39 Josh O’Neal SERAPH vs. MR. JEALOUSAfter a couple week s of being attacked by each other, Seraph and Mr. Jealous are both careful coming to the ring and make sure they don’t turn their back to the other. MJ is especially careful, not even jawing with the fans, even the one with the sign that reads “I took Jealous’ girlfriend on Space Mountain. WHOOOO!!!!!!” Jealous and Seraph lock up, and Jealous drives Seraph into the corner and starts hammering with overhand rights. Seraph covers up, then slips out of the corner and to the floor, much to MJ’s dismay. MJ rolls out o the ring and chases Seraph. When Jealous gets to the sign holder he stops and threatens the guy. Jealous pulls the fan halfway over the guardrail when Seraph comes crashing into him with an over-the-top-rope body block!! Jealous gets knocked into the first row while Seraph recovers on the floor inside the ring area. The fans taunt Jealous, and Jealous is on the edge of losing it. He grabs a chair and slams it to the ground, then steps over the railing. Seraph is calmly waiting in the ring, and even holds the ropes open for Jealous, which just pisses him off further. Jealous walks to the other side of the ring and gets in on his own, and finally they lock up again. Jealous again slams Seraph into the corner, but this time they both start throwing haymakers. The ref tries to get between them but is tosses aside by both wrestlers, so the ref waves throws up his arms and takes a seat on a turnbuckle. Looks like this is going to be a wild brawl! Jealous gets a slight advantage on brute strength, whips Seraph into the ropes, misses a clothesline, misses a wild punch, gets disoriented and allows Seraph to get behind him for a knee-to-the back backbreaker! Seraph tosses Jealous to the mat and mounts him for a series of punches, then backs up and nails a falling knee to the forehead. Seraph pulls Jealous up by the hair and stares at him. Jealous’ eyes bug out and he starts screaming. Jealous jumps up and tries to run away, but Seraph still has him by the hair and as soon as Jealous jumps up he puts himself in just the wrong spot for PROPITATION!!!! Jealous is out like a light! One, two, three! WINNER in 15:32 - Seraph JUSTIN SANE & PHIL vs. THE BLACK DAWGSPhil makes Sane start the match against the Big Dawg. JS actually goes toe to toe with UD... until Dawg drops him with a dog bone. UD tosses Sane all over the ring, beating on him like a rag doll. UD punches away in the corner and it's time for OBEDIENCE SCHOOL~! And Dawg comes off the top and smashes Sane's shoulder. JS goes to tag in Phil, but Dawg drags him back to the middle and drops an elbow. Tag to BD, and Dragon comes in to see that the work rate picks up a bit. Arm bar takedown, and a cross arm breaker is broken up by Phil. BD tosses Sane into his own corner and allows him to tag out. Dragon goes for a takedown on Phil, but to no avail. Phil pounds down BD and tosses him into the corner. Some back elbows in the corner, then a butt splash. Clothesline takes BD down hard. Justin wants back in, so Phil lets him back in. Sane stomps away, but Dragon picks the foot and turns it into an ankle lock. Justin grabs the ropes out of desperation, and the ref breaks. Sane with a stiff kick to Dragon's gut, DDT and then for some dumbass reason, Justin goes over and slaps UD. That draws Dawg in, and the ref can't hold him back. CHOKESLAM FROM THE KENNEL~! Now the ref gets UD out. One, two, but Phil pulls Dragon off. Phil drags Sane back to their corner and tags himself in. BD tries to pick his leg too, but Dragon pulls the leg completely off, and Phil hits a shining wizard with the other foot, then reattaches his leg. Leg drop gets two. BD goes to the eyes and tags out. Dawg in with a side slam on Phil. One, two, but Phil kicks out. To the ropes, and Dawg misses a clothesline, but gets a big boot. UD calls for the FIREPLUG DRIVER~! But Phil uses his ample weight to counter and hits the YAR-PLEX~! Cover is broken up by BD, and that draws Sane back into the ring and we have a brawl. Phil gets up and fights off Dragon, but Sane backs into UD, who slaps on the DAWGMISSION~! And Justin is screaming like a little girl. Phil from behind with a low blow to break that. The Sanest Man Alive looks for a pile driver, but can't get UD up, and UD backdrops him. Dawg looks down at Sane, then grabs the urn from the corner. But referee Mel Creech takes the urn from him, so Dawg simply tosses Sane all the way over the top, where he lands on Dragon. UD turns right around into the ASTRO PLUNDER THUNDER DRIVER~! Blackdragon makes the save at two. Justin Sane rolls into the ring as well, he picks up the urn and tosses it to Phil, Sane then pulls UD to his feet and Phil goes for the finishing head shot, but of course UD frees himself and Phil KO’s Sane with the urn! UD and BD double clothesline Phil over the top rope, then UD turns to Sane, yanks him to his feet, choke slams him to the mat, then BD flies from the top rope with a flying head but, covers Sane and gets the three count. WINNERS in 11:14: The BlackDawgs UNCLE ENTITY vs. NAYRJunior Hale is YOUR referee! Entity seems to be sore from the horrible submission he endured in the previous week's match. In fact, he's a step behind most of Nayr's opening offense, as the Luchadore tumbles past UE and kicks him in the back of the leg to stagger him, then come off the ropes with a diving chop block to put entity to the mat. Nayr salutes the crowd and runs the ropes, hopping over the prone UE on two passes before hand springing into a leg drop across the back of UE's neck. Nayr rolls him over for two. UE grimaces and tries to get to his feet but is met with a low dropkick to the face. Nayr covers again, this time for two. UE rolls to a kneel and catches the incoming Nayr on his next airborne flurry (here, a hurricanrana attempt) as UE stops Nayr's progress and power bombs him once Nayr gets his legs around UE's neck. UE grunts and tries a second power bomb but falls down with Nayr. Hale starts the standing ten count as Nayr slowly rolls aside, trying to catch his breath. UE pushes to all fours and rubs his neck. He winces noticeably as he gets back to his feet, gathering Nayr and tossing him to a corner. UE lies in two shoulder blocks before dropping to a knee. Seeing the opening, Nayr pushes up to the top rope and stomps on UE's back and escapes for the moment. UE pulls himself back up, grimacing and reaching for his back has he turns to face Nayr, who once again takes UE's legs out from under him. Nayr doesn't roll aside in time as Entity FALLS ON HIM! Nayr struggles to free himself and is almost pinned by the staggered Entity. Nayr squirts free and sees that UE isn't moving. He points to the corner before hopping up in the corner for the Bellow in the Breeze, but UE rolls clear! NOBODY HOME! Nayr crashes and burns, and UE covers for the win! WINNER in 7:23 Uncle Entity Post-match, UE is helped to the back. Junior carries Nayr. AUSTRAROO vs. MERCURY vs. SOULDRAGONReferee Gavin Hale limbers up before this match, the action should be non-stop in this one. Mercury and SoulDragon come to the ring first and in a matter of seconds those two are jawing at each other, remember folks, there is some bad blood between those two from the Evil Wizard days (OMG CONTINUITY!) They come to blows and slug it out in the middle of the ring, Austraroo is announced and he strolls down to the ring and watches SD and Merc going toe to toe. After a few seconds of this, Austraroo jumps on the apron and springs into the ring and catches both men with a foot to the face that sends them sprawling. Austraroo pulls Mercury to his feet and whips him to the ropes and catches him wit ha back elbow to the jaw that sends him out of the ring. Roo turns around and SD catches him with a knee to the mid-section and snaps him over with a pump handle suplex and slams him to the mat. SD turns around and sees Mercury spring from the top rope into the ring and catches him on the jaw with a Dragon Kick. SD covers Mercury and gets a two count, but it is broken up by Roo. Roo sends SD to the ropes, SD tries a clothesline, but Roo grabs SD by the waist and rolls through and locks on a single leg Boston Crab! Roo barely has the move on when Mercury gets to his feet and hits an enzuguri to the back of Roo’s head that breaks the move. SD covers Roo and gets one before SD breaks it up. SD pulls Mercury to his feet and goes behind for a Dragon suplex, but Merc mule kicks out of it and spins around and DDT’s Dragon, planting him on the mat. Mercury runs to the corner and leaps to the top rope, but before he can do anything, Roo follows him up the corner and snaps him off with a perfect hurracarana! Mercury slides out of the ring and hits the floor, SD is quickly up and he picks Roo up for an Omen Driver, but Roo slips out of it and tries a leg lariat, SD ducks the lariat and grabs Roo and tries a tornado DDT, but once they get to the corner Roo slips out of it, SD falls to the mat, Roo leaps to the top rope and catches a rolling thunder on SD, then rolls through, slides under the bottom rope and pulls Merc off the apron and t-bone suplexes him on the floor, then slides back under the bottom rope, SD is just to his feet, Roo tries a Roo kick, SD ducks, tries another Dragon kick, Roo ducks, scoops SD up and hits a CRADLE SHOCK! Roo then scales the ropes and hits an amazing 720 corkscrew moonsault! One, Two, Three! Mercury is just a second too late in making the save. This one is over! What a match! WINNER in 18:04 - Austraroo CORAX vs. PREDATORCorax d. Predator in 21:09 (Match to be added later) FIRECHILD vs. SHASHWAT MISHRAFC is flanked by Chris Cole tonight. SM comes out alone. The crowd doesn’t know who to cheer for. Referee Junior Hale goes over the rules but as he is talking SM & FC push him out of the way and start brawling. Hale tries to get in between but gets shoved to the ground again. SM is able to take advantage with a low blow after spinning Hale around so he didn’t see it. SM from the top rope lands a spinning hurricarana. SM then hits a Shining Wizard for a two count. Cole distracts Hale which draws SM over as well. FC is able to undo the turnbuckle pad and then sends SM crashing into the exposed steel. FC slams SM’s head into the steel drawing blood. Hale sees the turnbuckle and starts retying the pad. While his back is turned SM lands another low blow and then goes outside and grabs a chair. Cole is able to grab SM’s leg keeping him from getting back into the ring. SM drops the chair and Hale turns around to see Cole restraining SM. Hale slips out of the ring and tells Cole he is ejected from ringside. Cole starts to argue and says he isn’t going anywhere. Meanwhile in the ring FC grabs the chair and hits SM. Cole sees this and decides it is time to leave. Hale races back into the ring and makes a two count on SM. FC goes for Wing of the Phoenix but SM grabs the ropes and then gets a double leg takedown pin and gets his feet on the ropes. FC kicks out at two. FC takes control again with a side headlock that really squeezes the blood from SM’s head. SM counters with a back suplex and then a dropkick. FC gets a chop block to take advantage again. FC locks in the D-Tuner and SM has to cling to the ropes to avoid tapping out. FC does not release the hold forcing Hale to try and break the hold. Finally FC breaks it and gets up in Hale’s face. A SM charge from behind but FC feels it and sidesteps. SM slams on the brakes before hitting Hale. FC rolls up SM grabbing a handful of tights, but at two SM rolls through and grabs a hold of the ropes and is able to get the three count. SM rolls out of the ring and smiles at FC. FC is pissed and nails Hale with Wings of the Phoenix before exiting himself. WINNER AT 8:41 Shashwat Mishra CONCRETE TG vs. MATT DADDYSterling Glaw is YOUR referee! Glaw has the two meet in the center of the ring to shake hands. He outlines the rules clearly and carefully (especially in Concrete's direction) that he will NOT tolerate most of the crap that goes on in the regular division. With that he rings the bell and backs up to let CTG and Matt have at it. Collar/elbow tie up to start, the two pushing each other about for a bit before CTG is pushed to the corner. Glaw calls for, and gets, a clean break. Matt backs up and crouches, CTG steps up and they lock up again. The two suddenly break out in a flurry of MAT RASSLIN moves, rolling and countering in and out of holds before snapping to their feet and facing each other. The crowd erupts in applause and the two lock up again. The crowd gets into the match, as competitive chants break out (Let's go Concrete / Let's go Matt! ) as the two settle in. CTG manages a hammerlock on Matt, who tries to counter by picking CTG's leg out from under him. CTG releases and falls down, Matt spins and quickly drops on CTG for a pin and a one count. CTG back to his feet quickly as Matt goes for an arm wringer, which CTG rolls through and kips up. CTG reverses the wringer, chains to a hammerlock and suplexes Matt from that position! Matt rolls to his feet and eats a deep arm drag. CTG stands and charges but HE eats a deep arm drag as Matt locks in the ARMBAR. CTG pushes to his feet. but Matt stuns him with a forearm to the face. He releases the arm bar and gives CTG a delayed vertical suplex, which gets a two count. Matt helps CTG to his feet and slings him at the corner, reverse, Matt hits back first to the corner as CTG follows in with a clothesline that rocks Matt in the corner. CTG uses the moment he has stunned Matt to prop him up in the corner and stagger him with a couple of loud chops. CTG climbs up and sets for a delayed vertical superplex off the top rope! Both crash to the mat and are slow to get up. The ref starts his ten count as CTG rolls to his side and Matt gets to all fours. Matt stands as the count hits five and gathers CTG for a triple vertical combo. Pin fall gets two. CTG manages to stun Matt with a shot to the ribs, then hits three different suplexes - a vertical, a butterfly, and the fisherman's suplex for a pin fall. Once again, a two count. Matt reaches for CTG to try a belly-to-belly, but CTG lands on his feet and wraps Matt up for the CEMENT MIXER! Matt is too stunned to kick out! WINNER in 19:36 Concrete TG Post Match, Matt gets up and looks almost ready to swing. Sterling Glaw is standing right there, so Matt composes himself and shakes hands with Concrete. Matt raises CTG's hand and they give each other props. MOOSEHEAD JACK & LD WILLIAMS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDERThe Team From Down Under faces off with a new team in the tag division – LD Williams and Moosehead Jack – this promises to be a great match-up, as the former tag champs face have a similar physical style as the former IC Champ and the OOWF’s Resident Sociopath… Outback Jack and LD Williams start out – fast to the lock up, OBJ with a head lock, LDW goes to shoot him off, OBJ hangs on. LDW tries to shoot Jack off again, Jack hangs on, so LDW counters to a suplex – and OBJ still hangs on and grinds the headlock! LD throws a couple of elbows, tries another suplex, and finally gets free, glaring at Outback as he shakes the cobwebs loose. LD locks up with OBJ again, now it’s LDW with the headlock – OBJ goes to shoot him off, LDW goes off the ropes and drop-kicks Jack in the knees! Williams is to his feet first, kicks OBJ in the side of the head and then grabs a leg and grape vines it in a spinning toe hold variation! OBJ wastes no time, reaching up and thumbing LDW in the eye to escape! This sets Williams off, and he grabs OBJ and whips him to the ropes, catching him coming off with a running clothesline. Another stomp, pick up – spinning neck breaker! Williams lets Jack get to one knee and then delivers clubbing blows across the back. Jack absorbs the punishment and responds with a hard European uppercut, and then whips JDW into the Aussies’ corner – LD side steps as Jack charges, but Gatorbait pulls Williams back into the corner for Jack’s driving shoulder! Tag to Gator – TTFDU hit a double suplex! Now Gator keeps up the pressure, alternating using his power game to keep Williams down, and then delivering ground oriented punishment to his back and neck. TTFDU’s tag experience is paying off, as Williams is seriously isolated and getting hurt - until Gator tries a corner charge – LDW gets an elbow up, hits a second elbow to stun Gator, and then hotshots him on the top rope. Williams is pushed into Williams/Moosehead Jack’s corner, MHJ is tagged in. Moose doesn’t even try to pull Gator out of the corner, but just starts delivering body shot after body shot until Referee Barros threatens him with a DQ – MHJ takes a step back then shoulder blocks Gator back into the corner for more punishment! Moose points Angelo toward the TFDU’s corner and Williams uses the moment’s distraction to drop and elbow on Gator’s head. Gatorbait suddenly fires back with a hard chop, and then gets separation with a second. Before he can turn fully back to his prey, Moose gets hit with a mafia kick from Gatorbait, who then tags in Outback Jack! OBJ and MHJ throw the whole feeling out process out the window, and immediately meeting the middle of the squared circle to trade haymakers – MHJ goes to the eyes, and OBJ tackles him to the mat and starts biting at Moose’s forehead! Moosehead Jack is busted open! Moose gets free and rolls to his feet, sees the blood – and smiles. He sets himself, invites Outback to get some more – OBJ charges, Moose takes him down with a drop toe-hold, and them pummels OBJ’s forehead with hard, straight rights – and now OBJ is bleeding! Outback now goes BALLISTIC, and he and Moose roll out of the ring, tearing into each other – Gator is over to help, and LD Williams flies off the ring apron and clotheslines Gator to the floor! The ref has the count on, Outback hits a spine buster on Moose, and lines up a BOOMERANG – LD Williams sees it, and Irish whips Gator into his partner. Moose sidesteps and plants OBJ with another drop toe-hold – this time on the steel steps! Gatorbait grabs OBJ for The Chomp, Moose reverses it and while holding Gator’s legs, backdrops the Big Man from Down Under, RIGHT into a DDT from LDW! Moose rolls back into the ring JUST as Angelo Barros reaches 10 – WINNER BY COUNT OUT IN 17:32 – LD Williams & Moosehead Jack SIRIRAM vs. NILES ANDERSONSiriram d. Niles in 31:14 (match to be added later) *the ring is set up for another exciting edition of Prime Time Live. "Stick Em Up" by Quarashi hits, and "Prime Time" Chris Alt comes down to his new music to a huge pop. He poses on the ropes for a minute and soaks in the adulation of the crowd before taking a mic and moving to the center of the ring*
CA: Now THAT'S a reaction!
*crowd pops again*
CA: Odder, Denmark, you guys are some pretty good folks.
*cheap pop gets an "Alt" chant going. CA takes another moment to bask in their cheers, with a huge grin on his face*
CA: Hot damn, you guys are FEELIN T tonight! And ya wanna know who else is feelin it? I'll give you a hint... my guest tonight... is a guy who blew the roof off at End of Days... a guy who picked up a HUGE win... my guest tonight is one of the hottest commodities in the OOWF and the BRAND NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE OOWF TITLE... ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight... is ME, Chris Alt!
*"Stick Em Up" plays again as CA rolls out of the ring, dashes up the ramp and disappears, returning seconds later but this time wearing a Red Sox cap. The confused crowd cuts him some slack and gives him a nice pop as CA poses and gives some high fives on his way to the ring. He removes his hat and picks the mic back up*
CA: Chris, it's nice of you to join me tonight on the most entertaining talk segment in all of sports entertainment... PRIME TIME LIVE!
*puts hat back on*
CA: Well Chris, all I can say... is thanks for having me. I know that lately there's been a lot of demand for Prime Time Live to make a semi-regular return and there's a plethora of worthy competition here in OOWF that you could have chosen before me... I mean, you have the OOWF World Champion and MY best friend forever, Hardbody Harris! *crowd pops huge* There's the FORMER World Champion and my personal arch rival Niles Anderson *crowd boos*... there's that rookie on a hot streak Matt Daddy *crowd pops*... that mouthy blowhard Chris Cole *crowd boos*... there's even the TRUE charismatic enigma, LADDER *deafening crowd pop*. But Chris, you showed some true taste by inviting ME... the winner of the OOWF Invitational and new number one contender.
*removes the hat*
CA: Chris, there's no need for flattery, you're already on the show. I've got to ask, how does it feel to win the OOWF Invitational after such a tragic end to your first attempt just over one year ago?
*hat on*
CA: It feels damn good, Chris. I could almost say it feels... life-affirming. See, I'm a completely different man than I was when Moosehead Jack got that fluke win over me in 2005. Back then, I was new around here and naive enough to believe that Carl Coolname had my best interest in mind when he threw in that towel and cost me the match. But a lot changed in that one year... I developed the kind of killer instinct required to defeat a man like Moosehead Jack, and Coolname? Where's he at now? Well, nobody knows his TRUE whereabouts, but... *directly into the camera* Carl, has your ass stopped bleeding yet?
*removes hat*
CA: Whoa, hey now, come on. This may not be a family show but it's not Brokeback Mountain, either. Beast has been MIA for awhile now and I'm pretty sure we'd all like the butt sex to stay gone with him. But... speaking of butt sex... it has to feel good beating Chris Cole.
*hat is on*
CA: Good? GOOD? No. Chris, no. A blowjob from a redhead with a D-cup feels good. A nice foot massage feels good. A paycheck for fifty thousand dollars, THAT feels good. Beating Chris Cole to go onto the finals of the Invitational? THAT feels excellent. Cole ran his mouth for months and I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that when it comes down to it, mouth is all that guy is.
*hat is OFF*
CA: So Chris... what next?
*hat is ON*
CA: What's next? Well, I'm the number one contender... Hardbody Harris, you may be my very best friend, but you have something I want. And I'd never steal it from you, but I'd damn sure earn it... and if I have to pin your shoulders to the mat or make you tap in pain, then so be it.
*hat is OFF*
CA: Did you just challenge Hardbody Harris for the OOWF World Title?
*hat is ON*
CA: You better believe it, Chris. Hardbody, you know it's all good between us... but very, very soon, I'm going to be wearing your belt.
*CA rolls out of the ring as his music hits once again*THIM REYNOLDS vs. CANADIAN DRAGONBoth men have made their way down to the ring and it's clear they both mean business tonight. As CD turns around to say something to the referee Thim takes advantage of the lack of Onslaught Rules and dives towards CD, hitting him with a vicious chop block. CD goes down to the mat and Thim drops an elbow as the ref gets out of the way and calls for the bell. CD manages to roll out under the ropes as Thim's elbow misses and rubs the back of his leg before walking it off halfway round the ring. The ref's count has got to five before CD makes to enter the ring again. Thim moves to grab CD and pull him back into the ring forcibly but CD catches Thim and pulls him down across the top rope, then quickly slides under the rope to take advantage of distraction. Thim just about manages to get back to his feet as CD is back in and the pair lock up, face to face this time. CD uses his speed to gain the advantage, whipping Thim off the ropes and taking him down with a drop toe hold but Thim manages to grab the bottom rope forcing the break. This pattern continues for the next fifteen minutes - no matter what Thim does, eventually CD's speed always seems to help him find a way out, evening things back up again. Thim looks like he may be starting to tire somewhat after chasing CD around the ring so much and CD looks determined to prove Thim wrong and is obviously looking for the Canadian Destroyer. CD Whips Thim into the ropes on one side of the ring and runs to the ropes on the other side, hoping to catch Thim in the face with a flying elbow but Thim runs and closes the distance more quickly than CD was expecting and when the two meet Thim grabs, pops the hips and hits CD with a huge overhead belly to belly suplex, throwing CD so far that CD's leg catches the top rope on his way back down - twisting at a very awkward angle. Thim rolls over and seeing CD grabbing his leg moves in immediately and locks in the Reflex-O-Lock . . . CD hangs in there until Thim grapevines the whole leg and really syncs it in. After another 20 seconds or so CD has no choice but to tap. WINNER in 23.20, Thim Reynolds DRINK & DESTROY vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELSD&D enter the ring first, Stank carrying the BAG O'PROMOS, and FFC making broad gestures to Stank that he's gonna make up for his poor judgment. Adrenaline and Capps enter in street clothes, but get no farther than ten feet from behind the curtain when AA pulls out a microphone: AA: Look, you two... what me and Johnny did to you guys. It wasn't personal. We were just being good, chickenshit heels. It was just business. We like you guys...
JA: WE LOVE YOU GUYS! [laughs]
AA: So, if you could.. can we have our Bag O'Promos back, please?
Stank and Capslock don't move.
AA: Fine, be that way. But until we get that Bag back, we refuse to step in the ring with you fellas. Johnny raises the roof and the Chickenshit Heels turn around and walk backstage. Referee Angelo Barros begins a ten count, but Capslock stops him, and D&D give chase to Capps and Johnny. A camera picks them up walking down the hall, talking about promos and sandwiches. They reach the parking area, but before they can get to Johnny's H2, D&D catch up with them and pound on them! Stank grabs Capps and tosses him onto the hood of a nearby Chevy Malibu. Meanwhile, Johnny is running from FFC, climbing into the back of a pickup truck. Johnny kicks at Capslock to keep him from coming up. Capps is retreating from Stank, and Johnny hops out the other side of the truck and retreats as well. D&D give chase, but suddenly, a gold Lincoln Navigator zooms into the frame, sending Stank and Capslock diving out of the way. Johnny and AA quickly hop into the Navigator and it squeals away. D&D dust themselves off, and Capslock picks up the Bag O'Promos, ensuring that the Chickenshit Heels will be back to fight again. WINNER - NO MATCH. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. WCW – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchwCw sprint to the ring first and wait for their hated rivals. Wilder certainly looks to be 100% after his stay in the hospital. The Devils music hits and they come to the top of the ramp and hold the titles high for all to see as a chorus of boos rain down on their heads. The Devils slowly saunter toward the ring, wCw has had enough waiting, Westgaard leaves the ring and attacks both TO and Camby, He gets the best of it initially, but soon the numbers take over. Before they can do any damage, Wilder – who had climbed to the top rope – flies through the air and takes all three men down. Wilder springs to his feet and pulls Camby to his feet and nails him in the mouth with a spinning heel kick, Westgaard pulls TO to his feet and delivers a brutal spine buster on the steel ramp. Wilder and Westgaard pulls Camby up and throw him into the ring. Westgaard whips him to the ropes and catches him with a stiff CROSS CHECK to the head, Camby hits the mat hard, and Tommy leaps from the top rope and drops a leg across Camby’s chest. Wilder covers, but it is broken up at two by Tommy O’Neil. The referee fights to restore order and declares that Wilder and Camby are the legal men. Wilder shoves TO, but when he turns around, he is nearly decapitated by Camby. Camby flies into a rage and pulls Wilder to his feet and whips him hard into the corner, Wilder slams into the corner, and actually springs out from the force, and eats a power slam from Camby. Harper covers, but JWW breaks it up at two. Camby pulls Wilder to his feet and whips him into the Devil’s corner, tag made to TO, O’Neil comes in and peppers Wilder with shots to the face, then sends him to the ropes and catches him with a side slam, covers, and gets a two count. The Devil’s work over Wilder for a few minutes, getting several near falls. Wilder finally makes the hot tag to Westgaard who comes in and cleans house! JWW clotheslines Camby over the top rope, then presses TO high in the air and throws O’Neil onto Camby, but Harper catches him and sets him down. Wilder leaps over the ropes and catches O’Neil, but Camby side steps. As Wilder falls, he smacks his head on the guard rail and knocks himself goofy for a moment. Camby slides back into the ring and he had Westgaard go at it. JWW tries another cross check, but Camby catches him and turns it into a sit down power bomb. Westgaard rolls out of the ring and slumps to the floor. Meanwhile Tommy Wilder is on his feet and starts climbing the ropes. Wilder leaps off the top rope and tries a hurracarana on Camby, Camby catches him and is about to reverse it to a power bomb, but Wilder pounds his head and Camby totters, then slowly falls backward. As they fall, Tommy O’Neil is waiting, Camby hits the mat, Wilder looks up and gets PASTED with a Wicked Left, Camby rolls Wilder to the mat, hooks the leg and gets the three count. WINNERS in 24:11 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Devil’s Brigade CAPELLAN vs. ERIC O’MAC – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchEric O’Mac comes to the ring first, a look of extreme frustration on his face. The heckling of the fans doesn’t seem to be helping. EOM paces the ring, seething, as Capellan makes his way down the aisle. As soon as Capellan steps through the ropes, EOM is in his face, screaming about how he’s going to show him what a real champion can do. Words don’t seem to be making his point properly, so EOM slaps Capellan across the face. Cap simply smiles. EOM is almost frothing at the mouth now, and slaps him again. This time, Cap laughs openly at his infuriated opponent. Cap blocks a third slap attempt, spins EOM, and dropkicks him over the top rope. As EOM regains his senses, Cap sheds the belt and his ring attire, and levels EOM with a springboard plancha. Cap tosses EOM back in, and goes to the top. EOM gets to his feet, turns around, and just manages to sidestep a dropkick. EOM pounces on the fallen Cap, casting aside any semblance of scientific wrestling and going to town with fists and feet. Cap takes a beating until he manages to block a spin kick, hanging onto the leg. Cap hooks EOM’s other leg, dropping him to the mat, and locks in a sharpshooter. EOM claws his way to the ropes and, once Cap lets go, drags himself to the outside. Cap comes off the opposite ropes as EOM gets to his feet. EOM drops to the floor and gets up bragging about his intelligence , only to turn around and see Capellan still in the ring. EOM snaps, grabbing Cap’s legs and dragging him out of the ring. EOM tosses Cap into the ring steps and chokes him against them. EOM picks Cap up and pitches him into the ring barrier. Cap ducks a clothesline attempt, and EOM ends up doubled over the barrier. Both men regain their senses at about the same time. EOM throws a haymaker, but Cap docks and grabs him from behind with a waist lock. Before he hits a suplex, Cap notices that Sterling Glaw’s count has reached eight, and stuffs EOM back into the ring. Cap follows him in and tries to pick him up, but EOM grabs a roll-up for two. EOM is up first and plants Cap with a body slam. EOM nails a leg drop and comes off the ropes with the Rolling Thunder. Looking confident, EOM goes to the top for the frog splash, but Cap is on his feet and slams him off the turnbuckles. EOM gets unsteadily to his feet, and Cap nails the spinning Dragon Kick. Cap makes the cover. One…Two…Three. WINNER and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion, in 23:47, Capellan. HARDBODY HARRIS vs. CHRIS COLE – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchCole comes out with Firechild in tow. Harris comes down to a monstrous pop. Cole uses his strength to get Hardbody’s attention early. Cole pushed Harris into a corner and then starts choking him. Sterling Glaw starts the count and Cole breaks at 4. Cole yells at Glaw to mind his business and Glaw goes right back at Cole. The distraction is enough for Harris to land a punching combo ending in a big windmill right. Cole bails and Harris jumps to the second rope to fire up the crowd. Cole & FC talk strategy outside. FC jumps to the apron distracting Harris which allows Cole to come in from behind with a wicked clothesline. Cole works Hardbody over in the corner once again. Cole press slams Hardbody over the top rope and to the floor. They brawl on the outside for a bit. Cole tries for a spine buster, but Hardbody punches out of it. Harris knocks Cole’s head off the ring post and then Hardbody flies off the top rope sending both men into the barricade. FC throws Cole back into the ring. Harris is able to crawl back in himself. Cole counters a TO BE EDITED IN LATER attempt and whips Hardbody to the ropes but FC pulls down the rope sending Harris to the outside. Cole wails on Hardbody on the outside. He jaws with some of the locals in the crowd and tosses Hardbody back into the ring. Cole suplexes Hardbody and gets a two count. Cole lands some mounted face punches to Hardbody. Back elbow by Cole takes Hardbody down again. Hardbody counters a T-Bone Suplex, but gets caught with a wicked release German suplex by Cole for another two count. Cole is in complete control. The crowd starts a “Harris” chant. Cole whips Hardbody into the corner chest first. He then bow and arrows Hardbody around the ring post. Hardbody is finally able to toss Cole into the post and regroup a bit. Hardbody takes Cole down with forearms and a clothesline. Hardbody hits the One and Only on Cole for a two count. Hardbody rolls Cole up but Cole rolls through and with his feet on the ropes gets a two count. Cole thought he won the title right there and starts arguing with Sterling Glaw. Hardbody goes to the top and scores with a #1 DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE IN THE OOWF! Harris is now in control hitting clothesline after clothesline. The crowd is really pumped until Cole tosses Hardbody onto the ref knocking Glaw unconscious. FC comes into the ring and levels Hardbody with a chair. Cole starts mocking Harris and the crowd. He pulls Harris off the mat and hits the Headliner but only gets a two count because the ref was slow. Glaw rolls over again so FC comes back into the ring with the chair. The crowd goes nuts as Chris Alt sprints down the ramp and levels FC causing him to drop the chair. Alt picks up the chair and goes to hit FC with it but FC ducks and Alt hits Cole right over the head. Glaw has come around enough and sees this and calls for the bell. WINNER AT 17:28 BY DQ CHRIS COLE Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF MADNESS PPV, Live March 26th from Ypres, Belgium ! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, March 8th, live from Worms, Germany!
For more details, check out our website! oowf.pantslessfury.com/oowf !
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