OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From the corner of Wolf and Swanson in South Philadelphia, PA the ECW ARENA!
FF CAPSLOCK vs. JOSH O’NEILAC/DC hits the PA and 6'11" of FF Capslock hits the arena and makes his way down the ramp, next Disturbed cranks up and after a few moments Josh O'Neal appears in the entrance wearing just about every single item of Drink & Destroy merchandise available . . . T-Shirt, headband, baggies, wristbands, necklace, beer bottle and glass. Back in the ring Capslock is obviously boiling, slides under the rope and charges up the entrance ramp.
Josh, seeing Capslock coming, is ready, ducks his clothesline, turns around and smashes his official 'Drink & Destroy' beer bottle over Capslocks head, busting him wide open and stunning him. O'Neal doesn't wait but pounces on Capslock, taking him down with rights and lefts before picking him up and hitting a belly to belly suplex that rolls Capslock back down the ramp, all the way to the ring.
Josh O'Neal laughs, picks up his fallen official 'Drink & Destroy' pint glass and walks calmly down to the ring. The ref by this stage is calling both men into the ring, threatening Josh especially with a DQ but Josh just laughs 'How can you disqualify me, the match hasn't started yet' . . . as he bends down to pick up the stunned Capslock, FF sets off a fire extinguisher straight in his face, temporarily blinding him. Capslock then picks up the fallen glass and punches O'Neal straight in the face with it. Josh screams and rocks backwards, falling over the steps and crashing down to the floor.
Both men pull themselves up using the ring apron and stare bloody stares at each other. The ref is screaming alternately at each other to get the hell into the ring and start their match but neither man seems inclined, instead Josh picks up the top of the steps that he just fell over and Capslock yanks a hammer out from underneath the ring. Josh rounds the corner of the ring and throws the steps towards Capslock, Capslock manages to duck and deflect them somewhat with the hammer, before in return moving towards Capslock. Capslock backs away towards the announce table, trying to stay clear of the hammer.
When he is within 6 feet of the table Spin Freakin' Hansen appears in the crowd and begins to climb over the barrier, boxing Capslock in. Capslock decides that O'Neals attention maybe a little off thinking Capslock is now focused on Spin, but Capslock decides to do a one-eighty and charges O'Neal. Unfortunately for Capslock the hammer was only too ready and connects square in the center of his head. This has got too much and suddenly Stank charges down the ramp as at the same time Spin O'Neal leaps over the barrier and onto the announce table.
Stank clotheslines Josh O'Neal from behind as at the same time Spin Hansen leaps off the table and hits the prone Capslock with a flying head butt. Realizing that he's got absolutely no control of this match the ref calls for the bell for the first and second time tonight before frantically waving to the back for trainers and security.
Your winner on 0.00, well, no one . . .
Security and trainers wash into the arena while Capslock, O'Neal, Spin and Josh continue to pound on one another. In the melee, Capslock and O'Neals blood ends up everywhere. Spin Hansen ends up busted open face first in the ring post and Stank is got the first by 5 security guards and held off.
Suddenly theRick comes out of the entrance, microphone in hand. 'Hey, STOP IT!! Hey you assholes listen to me . . it's the BOSS remember!!'. By this point Security has a good hold of all four men, three of who are bleeding profusely. 'Right', theRick continues, 'this is how it's going to be. I want you guys to get Capslock and O'Neal the hell out of this arena RIGHT NOW!!. I couldn't give a crap what they do to each other once they're out there but they're not going to ruin anymore of this show. Stank, you've got a match later and it looked like you only arrived to help so if you get the hell backstage now I'll forget all about this, for now. As for you Spin Hansen, you interrupted one of my matches and I'm not gonna stand for that. You've got a match tonight against Underdawg . . .and it's next!!'
UNDERDAWG vs. SPIN HANSENthe Rick heads backstage while Spin Hansen protests in the center of the ring but there's no sign of theRick coming back to change his mind when BONG, the lights go out . . . BONG . . . the lights stay out . . . . Woof! Woof!! The lights come back up and Underdawg is stood in the ring directly behind Spin. Spin looks left and right looking for Underdawg, backing off slowly at the same time until he walks straight into Underdawg. Spin closes his eyes and reaches over his head, feeling Underdawgs face and shaking his own head. Spin twists around and tries to clothesline Underdawg out of his boots but Underdawg is ready and grabs Spin by the throat, aiming for the quick finish clothesline. Acting totally on instinct and up in the air Spin lashes out and catches Underdawg square in the groin, dropping him to the mat. Both men are down in the center of the ring as a new ref runs down and calls for the bell to start the match.
Now Underdawg is obviously not a small wrestler, but Spin Hansen is one of the few men in the OOWF that aren't totally dwarfed by him. Both men make it to their knees and start to hammer on each other before they've even got to their feet. Spin tries to take the upper hand early on with a series of head butts but Underdawg strikes back but grabbing Spin and hitting him with a short arm clothesline from his knees.
These two men hammer blows on each other for the next ten minutes, barely staying on the right side of the rules, just managing to kick out of each other covers and barley able to stay upright for long. After blows that have managed to shake the ring the end finally comes after Spin tries to hit the Firestarter, just barely managing to get Underdawg up into the Double Chicken wing before dropping him back down into a choke slam.
Of course Underdawg being a master of the Choke slam (and being 3 inches higher having more reach) is able to counter Spins choke slam into one of his own, hitting it in the center of the ring for the one, two, three. Doggy Dogg World plays and the crowd goes nuts . . .
Your winner in 12.37, Underdawg
THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADEAfter these two tore the house down at the Unfriendly Confines pay per view, we are told this will be the last meeting between these two teams. The Devil’s come to the ring first and wait in the corner, Camby flexes and Tommy does some shadow boxing. The Halfrican Americans come out next, and they are heavily bandaged but come to the ring with their normal energy and climb the ropes and glare at the Devil’s. Looks like it will be Tommy starting against Fly. The two begin to jaw in the middle of the ring and Tommy shoves Fly, Fly hits the ropes and rebounds and forward flip kick, bringing his heel down square on the top of Tommy’s head. Tommy grabs his head and staggers, Fly leaps to his feet and tags Nayr. Fly grabs Tommy and whips him to the ropes then drops down, as Tommy leaps over him, Nayr springs off the top rope and connects with a clothesline, as Nayr hits the mat he grabs his ribs and winces in pain.. Cover is broken up at two by Harper Camby. As Camby is heading back to the corner, Nayr hits him with a drop kick to the back, Camby staggers forward a few steps, then turns and charges toward THA and they catch him with a double flap jack. Nayr climbs the ropes in the corner, but loses track of Tommy O’Neil, Tommy crotches Fly on the top rope, Tommy climbs up, connects with a couple of punches to Nayr’s injured ribs, hooks Nayr and lands a perfect surperplex! Nayr grabs his ribs as Tommy floats over and covers, one two, three count broken up by Fly. Tommy pulls Nayr to his feet and sends him HARD into the corner, Nayr staggers out a few steps, and Camby runs down the apron and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. Tommy tags Harper in and he immediately drops a knee into Nayr’s injured ribs. Camby pulls Nayr up and whips him into the corner and follows him in with a series of shoulder blocks. Camby pulls Nayr out of the corner and sends him to the ropes, and lifts him in a military press slam, and parades around the ring with Nayr high in the air, when he turns toward THA’s corner, Fly darts into the ring and connects with a drop kick to Camby’s jaw that sends him to the mat with Nayr on top. Nayr gets a two count before Camby powers out. Camby pulls Nayr to his feet and throws him between the ropes to the floor. Tommy immediately runs over and pummels Nayr on the floor. Fly climbs to the top rope and waits for Camby to turn around, when he does Fly leaps and takes Camby over the top rope with a perfect hurracaranna. Camby hits the floor and gets to his feet, Fly slides back into the ring, hits the opposite ropes and dives between the ropes and takes Camby out wit ha suicide dive. All four men brawl around ring side, chairs, chains, anything that is not nailed down is used, finally the ref has had enough and calls for the bell ruling this one a no contest.
WINNERS – No Contest in 12:52
FIRECHILD vs. ERIC O’MACEric O’Mac has been a bit of a thorn in the side of 3Piece Set narrowly losing matches to Chris Cole and Altrageous in the last two weeks. Eric comes to the ring first, and as usual he has his cell phone to his ear and appears to be working a deal with his agent. A few fans reach out to touch him and he recoils in horror. A young fan in an old Revolution XX t-shirt asks for an autograph but Eric makes the money sign with his hand and keeps on walking. He gets to the ring and is busy in the corner, too busy to notice the equally hated Firechild make his way to the ring, with Thim Reynolds in tow. Thim doesn’t look all that pleased about accompanying Firechild to the ring. Of course, Thim never really looks happy about much of anything. Finally both men get into the ring and Thim waits at ringside, arms folded across his chest. The ref calls both men to the center of the ring, but Firechild is too busy yelling at ringside fans and EOM is still gabbing on his cell phone. Referee Gavin Hale calls for the bell and….well nothing. Firechild is still jawing with the fans, Eric is still on his cell phone, so Hale begins the ten count of doom. He hits seven before either one stops and notices what is going on, both men charge out of the corner and exchange a flurry of punches in the center of the ring. Eric gets the better of it and backs FC to the ropes and tries a whip across the ring, but FC reverses it and sends EOM, FC tries a clothesline, but Eric ducks it and hits the opposite ropes, FC tries a hip toss but EOM flips through it and lands on his feet, turns and tries a spinning heel kick, FC ducks and grabs EOM in a full nelson for a dragon suplex, but EOM reaches between his legs and grabs FC’s lag and pulls him to the mat and tries a figure four, but FC pushes him off to the corner, EOM scales the ropes, turns and leaps, FC ducks, EOM rolls through and springs to his feet next to the ropes, showing some frustration FC charges and EOM ducks and backdrops him over the top rope to the floor, FC lands right next to Thim on the floor, Thim made no move to help break his fall. FC gets to his feet and looks at Thim, EOM leaps over the top rope and takes FC out. Eric gets back to his feet and Looks eye to eye with Thim, Thim’s expression never changed, Eric rolls back into the ring and waits. Firechild slides back into the ring and he and Eric go at it with neither man really able to gain an advantage. The two are actually putting on a wrestling clinic when Eric reverses a suplex and counters with a spinning heel kick that sends Firechild to the floor. FC grabs a chair and slides back into the ring, the referee tries to stop him, but FC pushes him aside and raises the chair, as he does, Eric hits a Van Daminator! FC falls out of the ring to the floor, the referee calls for the bell, since Firechild shoved him, and Eric technically hit FC with a chair, Hale is ruling this one a double disqualification.
WINNER – Double Disqualification at 10:49
AX-MAN vs. CANADIAN DRAGONCanadian Dragon waits impatiently in the ring as Ax makes his way down the aisle, stopping occasionally to taunt the fans. As Ax gets close to the ring, CD hits the opposite ropes. Ax catches the movement out of the corner of his eye and sidesteps, but CD puts on the brakes, redirecting into a springboard cross body that drives Ax into the railing. CD tries for an Irish whip, but Ax reverses, tossing CD into the ring. Mel Creech calls for the bell and it’s on. Ax grabs CD as he gets up and bounces his head off the top turnbuckle, following up with a pair of wicked chops. A knee to the midsection doubles CD over and Ax pulls him out of the corner for a DDT, but CD reverses into a northern lights suplex and gets two. Both men roll to their feet and lock up. CD locks on a hammerlock. Ax reverses and floats around in front of CD. CD breaks the hold with a backdrop and drops an elbow, but Ax rolls out of the way. Ax scoops CD and plants him with a body slam, then comes off the ropes with a leg drop. He grabs CD’s arm and attempts a cross-arm breaker, but CD locks his arms and rolls Ax up for two. CD dives in with a double leg takedown as they get up. He stomps on Ax and attempts the dragon sleeper, but Ax twists away. CD moves back in and catches a boot to the face. Ax throws him to the ropes, but CD reverses and follows close behind, hitting a clothesline that takes both men over the ropes to the floor. CD introduces Ax’s face to the ring steps, but a second attempt is reversed, Ax drives CD’s back into the ring post, then tosses him into the railing. Ax rolls him back into the ring, and comes off the second rope with an elbow. He grabs CD’s leg and kicks the knee, then rolls across him, wrenching the leg. A few more shots to the knee, and Ax locks in the figure four. CD immediately attempts to roll over, but Ax hangs on. Mel Creech checks on CD who shakes his head. CD struggles and, after long moments, reaches the ropes. Mel forces a break. As CD tries to use the ropes to pull himself up, Ax swoops in, and grabs his legs, pulling him off the ropes and dropping him on the back of his head. Ax drags him to the corner and comes off the second rope with a stomp to the knee. Ax grabs the leg and ties CD up in the figure four, but before it’s locked in, CD grabs his neck and rolls him up. Mel Creech counts. One…Two….Three.
Winner, in 17:18, Canadian Dragon.
Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster, sporting various gashes and bandages, come down to the ring to the sounds of Van Halen. The Chickenshit Heels step into the ring and grab mics.AA: Last Sunday, a glorified felony was committed at Unfriendly Confines. Due to the Rick's blatant disregard for laws regarding unsafe working conditions, and the fact that the Rick is a pussy who wouldn't stand up to the Maryland State Athletic Commission, we were placed into a match with no limitations whatsoever, with Moosehead Jack and, and... what was his name again?
JA: The guy that illegally choked me out on Sunday? Only choker I can think of is Mitch Williams.
That comment riles up the Philadelphia crowd.AA: Whatever his name is... The fact of the matter is that we were placed in what they call an "extreme" environment with no rules, we were literally mutilated limb from limb, and fact is, the better wrestlers were defeated by two crazy guys who never play by the rules anyway.
JA: Who gives a crap about matches that allow barbed wire and shit like that anyway? I mean, besides brainwashed pieces of crap like the idiots here in Philly.
Crowd boos heavily at that comment.AA: See kz? We're still bigger heels than you are. And when it's badasses against chickenshits, the fans are ALWAYS gonna cheer for the badasses. And since we were already chickenshit heels, and went toe to toe with badass heels, I guess that makes us badass chickenshit heels! So just face it, kz: you may be good heels, but you're not the BEST heels in the OOWF. That's our title!
JA: Speaking of titles, a few months back we had out OOWF Tag Team Titles stolen from us by a couple of no good, untalented, wastes of oxygen and we've got some issues to settle with them, and we would like to take care of them tonight.
AA: But Johnny, we're injured, man. I mean, I know it's a big if, but IF they were to answer our challenge, they might be able to take us.
JA: [aside] Well, then we can use being hurt as an excuse.
AA: [aside] Oh, good thinking.
JA: Well, I'm just trying to give them a chance, Tude. Halfrican Americans, Fly, Nayr, get your asses down here right now!
Pretty Fly For a White Guy sounds thru the PA, and THA come thru the curtain... sort of. As the camera zooms in, we can see that we have some imposters. Ron Simmons is dressed as Fly, complete with goofy glasses, and Ric Flair is dressed as Nayr. They step into the ring.JA: What, you gonna kick our asses, Fly?
RS: Yo... [aside] do I really gotta do this?
AA: [aside] Yes.
RS: Yo dawg! Don't be hatin.
RF: WORD LIFE!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!
JA: [to AA] Do you have any idea what they just said?
AA: I know Nayr did a pretty good Ric Flair impersonation. Do it again.
RF: WHOOOOOOOOOO HOMESKILLET!!!!
RS: Don't let deez fools faze you, G! Chizzleshit... chickenshizzle... what's the damn line, man??
AA: You're supposed to say...
RF: CHIZZLESHIZZLE HIZZLES BIG DADDY, WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
RS: What he said... ya'll don't feel this flow!
JA: What flow?
AA: Yeah, what flow?
RF: WHAT FLOW?? WHAT FLOW?? THIS MAN FLOWS MORE THAN MY BLOOD... I MEAN... RIC
FLAIR'S BLOOD ON A 1987 PAY PER VIEW!!! SHOW HIM, PARTNER!!
RS: Damn...
RF: HE'S TOO LEGIT TO QUIT!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
AA: Well, what about you, Nayr? What kind of "flow" do you got?
"Nayr" bounces off the ropes and struts, then does a Flair Flop. "Nayr" pops right back up.RF: DANCE ALL NIGHT! DANCE A LITTLE LONGER!
RS: The Halfrican Americans get all that snatch, yo!
RF: ONLY SNATCH AA KNOWS ABOUT IS WHEN HE TAKES SANDWICHES AWAY FROM LITTLE
KIDS!
AA: Damn right, I do. That's what good heels do. And, as we prefaced this skit
with, we're good heels.
JA: Badass chickenshit heels!
AA: But if Vanilla Ice and Snow here wanna get it on, let's just go ahead and do
it and stop talking.
RS: Peep this, dawg!
"Fly" tries to dance again, but trips and falls to the mat. "Nayr" runs and flips in the corner, then jumps off the second rope to the mat. Johnny and AA look at each other and cover them both and count a fake pin on each of them. AA goes to talk again, but before he can speak, the REAL Halfrican Americans hit the ring, and the Chickenshit Heels bail thru the crowd. Simmons and Flair roll out of the ring before THA get their hands on them. This issue is obviously far from over.BLACKDRAGON vs. CONCRETE TG vs. UNCLE ENTITY - #1 Contenders Match for the Onslaught TitleReferee Mel Creech waits in the ring for the competitors. Concrete TG comes to the ring first, Crete has been in a bit of a slump since moving to the Onslaught division. Next out is the returning Blackdragon, Dragon has been out several months for personal reasons and he says he wants to come back and claim the Onslaught title. Finally the last man to enter the ring is former Onslaught champion Uncle Entity. Dragon and Crete shake hands before the bell rings, each man offers Entity a hand but he turns his back to them. This #1 contenders match will be fought under Onslaught rules, only two men are allowed in the ring at a given time, and the first man to score a pin fall is the winner. It looks like Crete and Entity will start things out for us, Creech calls for the bell and this one is underway. Crete and Entity slowly circle looking for an opening. Collar and elbow lock up, Entity grabs an arm wringer, Crete rolls through it and tries to back Entity into the ropes, Entity slips behind Crete and takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold and slaps on a hammer lock. Crete reaches for the ropes then quickly pulls his hand back and works to a sitting position, then grabs Entity’s head and bridges to his feet, Crete spins around and puts his head under Entity’s arm and lands a Northern Lights suplex and bridge for a one count. Both men are quickly up and Crete connects with a clothesline that sends Entity staggering, right into a tag by Blackdragon. BD comes into the ring and he and Crete circle slowly. As they are about to lock up, familiar music hits and Sabu comes out to the top of the stage towing something rather large. Sabu looks at Crete and tosses the cover aside, IT’S LADDER! Sabu sets Ladder on the stage and climbs to the top and sits there watching the match. Taking advantage of Crete’s momentary distraction, BD gets a roll up for a two count. The match continues at a breakneck pace for well over twenty minutes, the three men putting on a fantastic clinic, even Entity keeps things relatively clean. The end nearly comes then Crete whips Entity to the ropes, BD makes a blind tag, Crete catches UE with a belly to belly suplex into a pin attempt, and BD soars in from nowhere and headbuts Crete. Dragon covers and gets two, but Entity gets in a kick to break up the pin before he leaves the ring. The end comes when Entity is trying a superplex on Dragon, who came in to break up a pin, then gone to the ropes for another head but, Dragon gets caught on the top by Entity. Before he can finish the move, Crete comes in and gets under Entity and takes them all over, power bombing Entity, and adding more force to Dragon’s superplex. BD falls out of the ring, and CTG keeps hold of Entity’s legs and rolls through and gets the three count.
WINNER in 31:01 – and NEW #1 Contender to the Onslaught Championship – Concrete TG
CAPELLAN vs. SRIRAM - #1 Contenders Match for the Intercontinental TitleThis should be a classic match between two mat veterans. Both men come to the ring and wait patiently in the corner for referee Sterling Glaw to ring the bell. The bell rings and both men come to the center of the ring and shake hands, this one is under way. Both men circle slowly, and appear to be about to lock up when Capellan hits a drop kick out of nowhere that sends Sriram into the ropes, Sriram rebounds and tries a monkey flip, but Sriram grabs Cap’s legs and rolls him through and shoves him into the ropes and tries a back body drop but Capellan slips over his back and hits a drop kick to the back of Sriram’s head that sends him over the top rope, but Sriram holds on and skins the cat and gets back into the ring, comes up behind Cap, spins him around and steps behind his leg and grabs him be the face and slams Cap to the mat. Sriram pounces on Capellan, who quickly tries to get to his feet, you do NOT want to stay on the mat with Sriram. Sriram grapevines Cap’s arm and shoots a half nelson and rolls Cap over in a pinning position, Cap is struggling to keep his shoulders off the mat, but he can’t. Sriram gets a two count before Cap uses his legs to bridge up and get his shoulders off the canvas. Cap shoves off with his legs and rolls both men over, now Sriram’s shoulders are on the canvas for a two count, Sriram releases the hold and both men jump to their feet and the fans cheer. The two touch knuckles and we are off again. Collar and elbow tie up, Capellan whips Sriram to the ropes and catches him with a spinning heel kick. Capellan darts to the corner and leaps up on the ropes, but Sriram is to his feet fast and shoves him off the top rope, Capellan slams into the steel guard rail and hits the floor hard. Sriram rolls out of the ring and pulls Capellan up and sends him right back into the ring, a cover gets a two count, Sri pulls Cap up to a sitting position and locks on a head lock, but puts all his weight on Cap’s shoulders, then reaches down and pulls one of Cap’s legs up making it harder to breathe, Cap struggles but falls over, Sriram moves to lock Capellan up and cut off his oxygen, but Cap just reaches the ropes. The match continues back and forth, we are over fifty minutes into this one, and it has been a classic. Both men struggle to get to their feet, Sriram whips Capellan to the ropes and catches him with a power slam, but only gets two. Sri pulls him up and hits the ropes him self, but Cap spins and hits a boot to Sri’s face, cover gets two. Both men are exhausted. Cap pulls himself up using the ropes and gets Sriram to his feet, Sriram grabs Capellan and slams him in the face with a head but, then goes behind Cap and lands a belly to back suplex! One, Two, Three! Sriram celebrates and raises his arm, but Glaw waves it off and raises Capellan’s arm. Sriram looks on in disbelief, Glaw turns to the MamOOthTron and we see that Capellan was able to roll his shoulder at the last second. Sriram falls to the mat in frustration.
WINNER in 57:59 – Capellan
After the match, Cap offers his had to help up Sriram, Sriram accepts it and the two men share a manly embrace and head to the back
THIM REYNOLDS vs. JIM JONES – Onslaught Championship MatchNewly crowned Onslaught champion Thim Reynolds makes his first defense against former champion Jim Jones. The bell rings and Thim attacks, pummeling Jones with chops, slaps and punches to the side of the head, backing him into the corner. The onslaught backs Jones into the corner, Thim whips Jones across the ring and follows him in with a running knee to the side of the head. Jones falls to the mat and Thim drops and elbow right to the back of Jones head. Jones bails out of the ring for a moment to gather his head, then slides right back in and looks for the lock up, Thim comes right after him again, but this time Jones slips behind him and lifts Thim and hits an atomic knee drop, Thim staggers a few steps and Jones hits the ropes and connects wit ha clothesline to the back of the head that sends Thim into the ropes, on the rebound Jones scoops Thim up and plants him with a body slam, then covers for a two count. Jones grabs Thim’s arm and works the arm bar for a few minutes, but Thim fights to his feet and backs Jones into the corner, the referee asks for a clean break and Jones gives it, but Thim slams a head butt to the bridge of Jones nose, possibly breaking it. This draws a warning from the ref, and seems to infuriate Jones, he explodes out of the corner and hits a series of knife edge chops that back Thim into the corner, he then whips Thim to the ropes and hits a high back body drop. Thim is on one knee about to get to his feet, when Jones charges across the ring and nails Thim with a knee lift right under the chin. Thim hits the mat hard, Jones covers and hooks the leg, but Thim is able to reach out and grab the ropes. Jones pulls Thim up and traps him in an abdominal stretch. Thim looks out of it for a minute or so, but he slowly seems to get his head back and fights out of the stretch with a hip toss followed by an elbow drop. Thim gets to his feet, and Jones grabs a side head lock, but Thim shoots him to the ropes and connects with a fast power slam. Thim immediately rolls Jones over and locks in the Adjustment. Jones claws at the mat and fights it until he reaches the bottom rope and forces the break. Undaunted, Thim grabs Jones legs and pulls him back to the center of the ring, adjusts his elbow pad and reapplies the adjustment, really ratcheting the move on. Jones fights for a moment but then loses consciousness. The referee checks the arm three times and calls the match.
WINNER in 16:43 – and STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion – Thim Reynolds
KZ vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchBoth kz and TTFDU make their way down the aisle with fire in their eyes. Wally B King, sensing the mood, heads to the back as soon as his men are in the ring. Williams and Outback Jack start out. A lockup ends with OBJ tossing Williams into the corner. Williams shakes his head, laughing as he steps back to center ring. They lockup again, and Williams delivers a knee to the midsection, followed by a clubbing blow to the back. He wrings OBJ’s arm and drags him to the corner, making the tag. MHJ is in with a blow to the shoulder. He grabs the arm from Williams and wrings it further, then drives an elbow into OBJ’s shoulder. MHJ twists the arm into a hammerlock, and hits a belly to back suplex with the arm still locked. MHJ drags OBJ to the corner and tags Williams, who comes off the second rope with a stomp to OBJ’s shoulder. Williams picks OBJ and attempts an Irish whip, which OBJ reverses. Williams hits the corner hard, and OBJ is right behind him with a lariat. Williams stumbles out of the corner and is dropped by an elbow to the back of the head. OBJ drags him to the corner and makes the tag. Gator attacks with lefts and rights, pinning Williams in the corner. A headlock leads to a takeover, and Gator drops a knee across Williams’ throat. Gator picks him up and attempts a suplex, which is blocked. Williams attempts a reversal, and Gator blocks. Gator lifts a knee into Williams’ stomach and hits a snap suplex. He floats over and gets two. Williams delivers a couple of lefts to the midsection as he gets up, putting Gator off balance. They exchange European uppercuts, with Gator getting the upper hand until Williams sidesteps and takes him down with a drop toehold. Williams drives an elbow into the back of Gator’s neck, then hits the ropes for a leg drop to the same spot. Williams spikes Gator with a DDT and covers. OBJ breaks it up at one, and MHJ is in as well.
Kz toss OBJ to the ropes and hit a double fist to the midsection, followed by a tandem DDT. As they pick him up, Williams is leveled by a spear from Gator, which distracts MHJ long enough for OBJ to snap him over with a modified power slam. Angelo Barros attempt to send the Jacks back to their corners, and fails to see Williams stop an attacking Gator with a low blow. Williams grabs OBJ from behind and locks him in an abdominal stretch. MHJ hits the ropes and nails a heart punch. Williams tosses OBJ to the floor and stalks Gator as Barros sends MHJ out of the ring. Williams lunges at Gator, who sidesteps. Gator hits the ropes and spears…Angelo Barros?!? The replay shows that Williams sidestepped the move and pulled Barros in front of Gator. As Gator checks on the ref, Moose tosses one of the tag belts to Williams and enters the ring with the other. Kz hit opposite ropes and as Gator stands up they hit a twisted form of the Call of the Wild, with Williams going low with a belt shot to the midsection while MHJ hits a belt shot to the back of the head. Gator does a 360 and crumples to the mat. MHJ rolls to the floor to keep OBJ busy while Williams drags Barros into position. Before he can make the cover the bell rings. Senior Referee Sterling Glaw, who came out to check on Barros, saw the attack on Gator and called for the bell.
WINNERS, by disqualification in 36:00, The Team From Down Under.
After the match, Williams lunges at Glaw, but is restrained by the security that floods the ring. Wally B King is out with medical personnel, who attend to Gator as kz are escorted forcefully up the aisle by security.
ALTRAGEOUS vs. STANK – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchAltrageous starts the match by attacking Stank and clubbing him with shots to the back of the head. Alt backs Stank in the corner and unleashes a couple of chops, then tries to whip Stank across the ring, Stank reverses it and follows Alt across the ring and kills him with a clothesline in the corner. Alt staggers out of the corner and is about to fall when Stank stoops him up and hits the Doctor Death running power slam (first slam him in the corner, then on the mat) Stank covers and nearly gets a three count, but Spice reaches between the ropes and gouges Stank’s eyes. Stank grabs his eyes in pain, and Alt gets to his feet and hits a couple of stiff kicks to Stank’s mid section, then climbs to the second rope and sits there perched, as Stank gets to his feet, Alt leaps, but Stank catches him by the throat and turns it into a chokeslam. Alt bails out of the ring and falls face first to the floor. Stank follows Alt out of the ring and bounces his head off the table and the apron, then tries to whip him into the steel ring steps, but Alt reverses it and Stank goes shoulder first into the steps. Alt slides back in to the ring and seems content taking the count out, but Stank makes it onto the apron before the ten count. Alt rushes over and tries to run Stank down the apron into the ring post, but Stank blocks it and bounces Alt’s head off the turn buckle. Stank climbs back inside and Alt gets up and charges into a clothesline, not once, not twice, but three times. Stank pulls Alt up to his feet and whips him into the corner and follows him in with a rib crushing splash. Stank calls for the Stank-U and the crowd erupts. Alt gets to his feet and Stank hefts him up on his shoulders. Just then Sugar and Spice leap up to the apron. Stank drops Alt and, being the ladies man that he is, saunters over to the ladies and puts his arm around both of them, then leans in a little and DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Sending both ladies to the floor. Stank turns around and catches Alt charging at him with the Intercontinental title, Stank ducks the charge, and catches Alt coming off the ropes STANK-U! Stank covers, one, two, WHAM! Firechild hits the ring and slams a steel chair down across Stank’s back. The referee immediately calls for the bell disqualifying Altrageous.
WINNER in 17:01 by Disqualification – Stank
Alt and Firechild put the boots to Stank for a minute before FFC comes in and clears the ring of both of them.
CHRIS COLE vs. SERAPH – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match – ECW RulesSterling Glaw is YOUR Referee!
As the two meet in the center of the ring, Glaw reminds them of where they are. Seraph seems unmoved by the news, but Cole expression brightens. Glaw doesn't look all that happy as he calls for the bell. Crowd erupts into a "Bring the weapons!" chant, but Seraph is in no hurry to leave the ring. In fact, he locks up with Cole before Cole considers it, and the two struggle around the ring. Glaw calls for a clean break in the corner; Seraph backs away from the corner, and while Glaw's looking at Seraph, Cole sneaks in an eye rake. Seraph is staggered and Cole quickly pours on more offense. Cole then puts an early exclamation point on Seraph with a delay vertical suplex that pops the crowd. Glaw counts one and Seraph kicks out. Cole stays in control, hauling Seraph up and slinging him across the ring. He catches Seraph on the rebound for a belly to belly overhead throw. Seraph tumbles into the ropes, giving Cole a chance to choke Seraph on the second rope. Glaw counts, but Cole shouts at him "This is the Fuckin ECW arena!" Crowd pops again, and Cole realizes he's not doing this right. He backs off Seraph to argue a bit with the ref. Seraph gets his wits back around him and hits Cole with a double forearm from behind. Glaw nods in thanks as Seraph pounds away at Cole. Crowd starts chanting again for weapons, so Cole ducks one of Seraph's punches and rolls out of the ring. Seraph is reluctant to leave the ring as Cole digs under the ring for a garbage can full of plunder, a cookie sheet, and a couple of chairs. Glaw swats some of the plunder out of the air as it sails over the ropes. Crowd chants "Use the chair" at Seraph as Cole climbs back in. Seraph picks up a chair; Cole snags one as he gets in and they duel chairs for a couple of shots before Seraph swats Cole's chair clean out of Cole's hands! Crowd cheers louder as Seraph gets into the use of plunder and grabs a kendo stick. Cole picks up a road sign to block the cane shots. Each block only makes the crowd louder! Cole sidesteps a cane swing and PLASTERS Seraph with the road sign ("Yield"). Seraph looks unconscious, so Cole kicks some of the plunder out of the ring to the displeasure of the fans. He then puts his Indian deathlock on Seraph, thinking him unconscious. Crowd then boos Cole and starts sing-songing "Rest hold, rest hold" to his ever-increasing ire. Glaw checks on Seraph, who hasn't moved. Arm raised once; it falls. Arm raised twice, it flops. Arm raised a third time, it stays in place and slowly clenches a fist. Crowd starts chanting for Seraph. Cole starts looking around as Seraph's hand brushes against a stray cookie sheet that Cole forgot to sweep out of the ring. Cole tries to tighten the hold, but Seraph gets the sheet in both hands and swings back, catching Cole square in the back of the head! Cole staggers, losing the hold as Seraph remains on his knees a moment. He turns as Cole stands and swats him again. Cole staggers back and Seraph gets to his feet and looks to the crowd. "One More time!" they chant, so one more swat for Cole! Seraph discards the puny cookie sheet for the garbage can. Cole staggers for Seraph in a clumsy clothesline, and suddenly has a garbage can over his head! Crowd is on its feet, the smarks start chanting "Angel music", which brings the faintest of smirks to Seraph's face. Seraph picks up two lead pipes that are caught by one corner and starts drumming away at the trash can, making Cole fall over! Glaw backs Seraph off after the impromptu serenade to see if Cole wants to surrender. Seraph watches Cole, but doesn't acknowledge the change in the crowd's tone when Firechild slips in through the crowd, grabs a road sign and climbs all the way up to ambush Seraph! Just as Glaw gets Cole out of the can, Firechild leaps at Seraph and FLOORS him with it. Glaw goes over to stop him, but Firechild flips him off. "ECW baby!!" and clobbers Seraph a couple more times for good measure. Glaw pushes him away just as Cole gets his bearings and grabs Seraph. HEADLINER ON THE GARBAGE CAN! Firechild celebrates as Cole covers.
WINNER in 23:34 and STILL OOWF champion - Chris Cole
Firechild is jumping up and down outside the ring as Cole takes his belt and shields himself from flying debris. Neither see Seraph stand and LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM behind Cole. Seraph slaps Cole on the shoulder blade; startled, he wheels and walks right into the PROPITATION! Seraph stands and picks up one of the dented chairs. Firechild leaps up on the apron as Seraph discards the mangled chair, then spreads his arms. Suddenly the entire crowd starts throwing their chairs into the ring!!! Seraph's expression darkens as the lights dim, a white-hot light lingering on him as the chairs whizz by him and missing each time. The music starts and the arena goes completely dark. Chairs can be heard clanging together over the music, and after a minute the music(and chair-tossing) stops. The lights come on, and Cole and Firechild are almost completely buried in chairs. Seraph is nowhere to be found, though an unfolded white chair is right next to Cole......
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Territorial Beatings II PPV, Live August 27th from Yellowknife, Northwest Territory, Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, August 9th from Big Moose, New York!
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