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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 15:02:48 GMT -5
Part 1 - The Setup
<We cut to GM the Rick's office, where a clearly irritated Blackdragon>
GMtR: Look, I know you are not one to complain, but technically the referee did not disqualify Thim, he threw the match out, it is a fine line, but it is a line nonetheless.
BD: Rick, I respect the ref's decision, but don't let that British Bastard Thim drag the Onslaught Championship down to the gutter..
<Thim walks in, title slung over his shoulder and a smirk on his face>
Thim: You gents talking about me? Maybe Dragon is explaining how he got his ass handed to him tonight
<BD leaps to his feet>
GMtR: Guys, don't even think about it. Look Thim, I don't think you realize how close you came to losing that title tonight. Had the ref called the DQ on you, you would be the former Onslaught Champion right now.
TR: But he didn't and I am still the champ. Dragon crying to you about the finish?
GMtR: No, he wasn't. But to make amends for a shitty finish, it is going to be you and Blackdragon, and Concrete TG in a three way dance next week. Keep the rules in mind this time Thim, a DQ costs you the title
<Thim leans in close to Gm the Rick> Take your rules and stick em up your ass sunshine. I am the best damn wrestler in this company. The only way anyone takes this belt from me is to pry it from my cold dead hands, and those tow chumps just don't have what it takes.
<Thim leaves the room and Blackdragon follows him with an icy stare, then walks out of the room without a word. Gm the Rick sits back at his desk and is just about to start writing when the door bursts open and someone walks in, the camera pans up slowly and we see two wrestlers dressed entirely in black, including maskes, standing before Gm the Rick>
GmtR: Yes? Can I help you?
Masked Man 1: We have come here to avenge a great wrong.
GMtR: And who the hell are you two?
Masked Man 2: We are Mierda Del Pollo Rudos!
GmtR: Uh huh
Masked Man 1: And we are here to avenge a great wrong
GMtR: Right
Masked Man 2: As Mierda Del Pollo Rudos often does!
GmtR: Fine, I'll bite. who wronged who?
Masked Man 2: The team you gringos call The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000!
Masked Man 1: Yeah! You Pringles call them...
Masked Man 2: Dude, gringo's not pringles, what's wrong with you?
Masked Man 1: I am HUNGRY! Our matc....errr our flight was delayed through dinner! Yeah, and now we seek revenge!
GMtR: Lock and Stank delayed your flight?
Masked Man 2: Huh? No, No, they cheated to beat two fine upstanding men in the Handsomely debonair Johnny Adrenaline and his somewhat portly partner Attitude Adjuster
Masked Man 1: Yes they...HEY! I am n...err...I mean HE is not portly, he is husky, and only weighs 240lbs, or like us Mexicans like to say, 139 pesos
Masked Man 2: kilos!
Masked Man 1: YES! 139 kilos!
GMtR: Fine, so what...why are you two sweating so much?
Masked Man 2: We are not used to your hot Massachusetts summers?
Masked Man 1: The heat here, it is, uh, different.
Masked Man 2: Less humidity and stuff
GmtR: Fine, what exactly is it you two want?
Masked Man 2: We demand a match against The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 to avenge our friends defeat!
Masked Man 1: And it must be a MEXICAN DEATH MATCH!
Masked Man 2: Yes a MEXIC.....WHAT? Wait, this is not what we talked about!
Masked Man 1: Dude, just go along with it, they are not Mexican and can't speak Mexican, we can make up all the rules, and they won't have a clue!
Masked Man 2: Do we speak Mexican?
Masked Man 1: Does it MATTER?
Masked Man 2: Well kinda
GMtR: Ok you two, I have heard about enough, I like the idea, so next week it is you two....
Masked Man 1: Mierda Del Pollo Rudos
GmtR: Right, against The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 in a Mexican Death Match, great idea! I needed another team because I was going to give Adrenaline and Capps the week off after that beating this week, you two will do just fine in their place!
Masked Man 2: Week off? Wait, if we could just have a second to explain....
GmtR: No, no, I think I have heard enough, your time is up!
<GM the Rick shoos the two out the door, scribbles something on the booking sheet and slaps it on the door>
*****************************
Part 2: The Lineup
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live From Jamaica, Vermont
Steel Cage Match[/u]
Chris Cole & Firechild vs. Seraph & Eric O'Mac
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Altrageous vs. UnderDawg
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
kz vs. The Halfrican Americans vs. The Devil's Brigade
OOWF Onslaught Championship Three Way Dance[/u]
Thim Reynolds vs. Blackdragon vs. Concrete TG
Mexican Death Match[/u]
Mierda Del Pollo Rudos vs. The New Original Classic New Blackjacks2000
#1 Contender's Match[/u]
Capellan vs. Sriram vs. Uncle Entity
Canadian Dragon vs. Ax-Man
Drink & Destroy vs. The Team From Down Under
Jim Jones vs. Apocalyptic Existence vs. Ecosystem
Card subject to snake sabotage
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 15:03:45 GMT -5
## The camera fades up in the locker room of Thim Reynolds, LD Williams and Mooseheadjack
LDW: so, three ways all round this week then
MHJ: not that it really matters, there's no one yet working for this company that's got a chance to take us out, but a three way dance under Onslaught Rules - sound like you've got your work cut out for you this week Thim?
TR: ha, you're kidding aren't you . . . I bitch slapped the taste out of Blackdragons mouth last week and if he's really lucky I might just give him the privilege and do it again - or I might just stand back and let Crete do it
LDW: when are you going to start taking these guys seriously Thim . . . up GOT AWAY with it last week, this week might not go so well
TR: just what is your problem LD?? I helped to create the Onslaught division, it was me wanting some real wrestling competition and not just all this bullshit with chairs and sledgehammers that did this . . . I've held the Onslaught Title for longer than anyone else in this company and like I said to theRick, to get it away from me you'll have to pry it out of my COLD . . . DEAD . . . FINGERS!!
## By this point LDW and Thim are nose to nose in the locker room
MHJ: woah there, back off guys, remember we're all here together, save the grief for the ring
## suddenly there is a knock at the door and a UPS courier enters with a parcel for Thim
LDW: you ordered some more beer man
TR: no?? hang on
## Thim signs, takes the box and tears it open . . . 20 white T-Shirts fall on the floor.
TR: hell, cool!!
## Moose and LDW both pick a shirt up off the floor
MHJ: shirts?
TR: yea, samples . . . you use a phrase a couple of times and all of a sudden people are repeating it - next step, make shirts!!
LDW: (reading the front) Welcome to Planet Reynolds
MHJ: (reading the back) Born again hard British bastard, he he he, cool shirt man
TR: hey, take a couple, you two LD . . . I'm heading off to special delivery a couple of these to Blackdragon and Crete, I think they'll love 'em.
MHJ: I would suggesting posting them with a chair . . .
TR: Moose, I might just do that
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 15:06:01 GMT -5
*TTFDU are in a bar, drinking Red Stripe with the Red Stripe Ambassador, when SFJ 6.02 approaches for an interview*
SFJ: Hey, that's not the beer you guys usually drink, is it?
OBJ: Well, since we're in Jamaica, it seemed like a good idea.
RSA: It's beer! Hooray beer!
SFJ: Isn't that a different Jamaica or something?
GB: Whatever.
SFJ: Speaking of beer, you guys are facing Drink and Destroy this week.
OBJ: Stank and Capslock are tough, but we can handle them.
SFJ: They're not Drink and Destroy anymore. They're The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000. Hansen and O'Neal are now Drink and Destroy.
OBJ: Stan the Lariat Hansen took over Camby's spot and the Devil's Brigade are now Drink and Destroy?
SFJ: It's Spin Hansen, not Stan, and he didn't take Camby's spot.
OBJ: Then why's he teaming with that mush-mouthed Irish guy?
SFJ: No, he's teaming with Josh O'Neal.
OBJ: Tommy and Josh are teaming together? That could get confusing.
SFJ: No, I mean, yes, er, you see Josh O'Neal and Spin Hansen are now Drink and Destroy.
OBJ: I thought that was Stank and Capslock.
SFJ: Well, they were, but now they aren't somehow. Now you're making me confused.
*GB hands SFJ a Red Stripe*
GB: I think you should have a beer and stop trying to explain this.
SFJ: Not that you're telling me anything I don't already know.
RSA: It's beer! Hooray beer!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 15:06:25 GMT -5
<A confused SFJ turns to walk away from the Aussies when she walks into kz. Jack and Gator walk over and stand nose to nose with the champs>
OBJ: You boys need something?
LDW: Yeah. We need you two to grow a set and face us like men.
GB: <looking a little amused> you mean the last match at Mayhem wasn't enough for ya? Seems like you are avoiding us this week.
LDW: That wasn't our doing, tell the Rick to add you to the match this week.
Wally: Jack we go back a long way, do you two have a death wish or something?
MHJ: Wally, you don't understand. See, all I hear from people is kz is savage, kz is blood thirsty, kz are animals, they are a lot like Empty Team. Now, I know what Empty Team is capable of, we saw a little glimps of it at Mayhem last week, but once again, you two pulled back. You two hid behind your goofy Aussie gimmick.
Well, we are throwing down the challenge right now. kz vs Empty Team, not this bullshit Team From Down Under, we want the old Empty Team, so I don't care what meds you have to stop taking, I don't care what dark place you have to go to to get that instinct back, you make sure that by this Sunday at Territorial Beatings II you bring all the rage and hate that made you the most feared team in the world. Let's just see who can be the mose demented team on the planet.
LDW: Oh, and let's make this interesting. How bout a Taipei Death Fence Match, taipei gloves for all of us, barbed wire around the ring, anything goes, only one team survives.
MHJ: You let us know
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 15:14:11 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live From Jamaica, Vermont < [Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are seen lounging in their locker room backstage. AA’s eating a sandwich, and Johnny is in the hot tub, and they’re in the middle of some random conversation when Los Mierda Del Pollo Rudos walk into the room without knocking.]
JA: Hey guys, what’s up?
AA: Ready for your big match tonight?
LMDPR #1: Yep.
AA: No, no… it’s “si.” You gotta stay in character, guys. Come on…
LMDPR #2: No.
JA: That’s the spirit!
LMDPR #2: No, as in we’re not staying in character for your stupid asses.
[Los Rudos pull off their masks to reveal Bill and Randy Mulkey.]
RM: [throwing masks at TCH] We quit.
AA: But he said you were ready for your big match…!
BM: We are. Cornette booked us in Orlando tonight. We doin’ the job for LAX tonight.
JA: Cornette?? You mean TNA? That half ass wannabe federation?
AA: What’s he payin’ ya, like $30 apiece?
RM: Actually…
AA: And besides, you just got more promo time in the last 20 seconds than you ever got your entire tenure in the NWA. Johnny, pay these guys.
JA: Me? You’re the one with the big wallet! I’m not the one who bet the Cowboys/Saints PRESEASON game the other night. Besides, you won that, so YOU pay them.
AA: Johnny, are you dumb enough to think that the Cowboys game was the ONLY game I had money on?
JA: You didn’t…
AA: I did.
JA: On what?
AA: Baseball. A lot of it. I mean, the Pirates were bad enough, but that damn Beltran…
JA: Shit… [pulls out wallet]
AA: Hey, where’d they go?
[TCH looks up and the Mulkeys are gone, and AA and JA are left holding the masks in their hands.]THE NEW ORIGINAL CLASSIC NEW BLACKJACKS 2000 vs. MIERDA DEL POLLO RUDOS – Mexican Death MatchThe masked men come to the ring first, obviously irritated at the thought of this match. There is some sort of yellow stain by the mouth of the chubby one’s mask, and the skinny one appears slightly wet. They search around the ring for plunder and the NOCNBJ2K make their way to the ring. The chubby Rudo is trying to pull a chair from beneath the ring, but Capslock clubs him down before he can get it out. The skinny Rudo tries to strike Stank before Stank strikes him. It doesn’t work. Stank sends Johnny to the steps, and then slings him sideways into the guardrail. Stank picks up the guardrail and slams it down on the Rudo. Around the ring, FFC is pounding the chubby Rudo with a board from beneath the ring. Stank takes the skinny Rudo and catapults him into the ring post. Stank into the ring, and Capslock tosses the other Rudo in. Stank with a front slam and follows up with a leg drop. Capslock in, and the NOCNBJ2K takes their time beating on the chubby Rudo. The skinny Rudo climbs up on the apron, but Capslock whips the other Rudo to the ropes and they collide, sending the skinny Rudo flying to the guardrail. However, the skinny Rudo lands on his feet and stops short of the impact. Meanwhile, in the ring, Stank sets up for the STANK-U~! But the other Rudo slides back in with a chair and wallops Stank to stop the move. Capslock clotheslines the Rudo down, but then the chubby one hits FFC with a low blow. The chubby Rudo grabs the chair and opens up on Capslock’s leg. The skinny Rudo stomps Stank, but Stank grabs his foot and trips him up. Stank up and goes to power slam the Rudo, but the chubby Rudo nails Stank in the gut with the chair, but the skinny Rudo gets dropped on his head. The chubby Rudo DDT’s Stank and asks the ref to count. Angelo Barros gets to six and both Stank and Capslock are up. The chubby Rudo begs off, as Stank and Capslock back him down in a corner. But the skinny Rudo clips FFC’s knee and the chubby Rudo goes to Stank’s eyes. The chubby Rudo skinny Rudo pulls out a roll of quarters, but the chubby Rudo takes them from him, and gives him some brass knuckles instead. The skinny Rudo charges at Stank for the big hit, but Stank hits him with a big boot. The chubby Rudo goes to nail Stank, but Capslock hits him with a drop toehold onto the chair, sending the quarters flying everywhere. Stank grabs the chair, lines up the skinny Rudo… and DRILLS HIM, drawing blood instantly. Meanwhile, Capslock hits the chubby Rudo with Snake Eyes, then hit’s the GREETINGS FROM FRESNO~! Barros starts a count. Seven… eight… and the skinny Rudo starts to get up. But he sees Stank still with the chair, and opts to stay down. Nine… ten… and this one is mercifully over. WINNERS in 14:27: THE NEW ORIGINAL CLASSIC NEW BLACKJACKS 2000 JIM JONES vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE vs. ECOSYSTEMAll three men come to the ring, Jones offers good sportsman handshakes all around, Eco accepts, but when Jones turns to AE, AE nearly clotheslines him out of his boots. With Jones on the mat struggling to regain his senses, AE looks at Eco, Eco just shrugs and remains in the corner. AE laughs and pulls Jones up by the hair, grabs him by the back of the head and hammers him with a series of forearms. With Jones staggering AE picks him in a military press and struts around the ring. As soon as he turns his back to Eco though, Eco springs out of the corner and clips AE in the back of the knee. AE’s knee buckles and he drops Jones to the mat. Eco pulls AE to his knees and hits a series of kicks to his ribs, arms, then finishes him off with a spinning kick to the side of the face. AE hits the mat and rolls to the floor. Eco pulls Jones to his feet and hits a capture belly to belly suplex, bridges and gets a two count. Both men are quickly up to their feet and Eco tries a whip to the ropes, but Jones reverses it and whips Eco in, Jones tries a hip toss on the rebound, but Eco flips through it and lands on his feet, Jones reaches around Eco and grabs both arms crossing them across Eco’s chest, then falls backward onto one knee driving Eco’s back onto his knee. Jones covers, but AE has recovered enough to reach into the ring and pull Jones off of Eco. As AE gets on the apron, both Jones and Eco are on their feet, they both hit the ropes and connect with baseball slides to AE’s ankles knocking him off the apron and slamming him face first onto the ring. Jones turns and walks into a spinning heel kick from Eco. Eco pulls Jones up and scoops him up for a slam, but Jones holds on and gets a small package for a two count. Eco escapes and is quickly on his feet, Jones takes him down wit ha drop toe hold, hits the ropes and drops a knee on the back of Eco’s head. Eco is not moving, Jones rolls him over and gets two, before AE once again breaks it up with a kick to Jones face. AE pulls Jones to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a T-Bone suplex. AE pulls Jones up once again and sets him up for the Vertebreaker, but when he turns, Eco nails him right in the jaw with a super kick. AE hits the mat hard as does Jones. Eco pulls Jones up and hits the Endgame, hooks both legs and gets the three count. WINNER in 7:38 - Ecosystem DRINK & DESTROY vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDERThe two teams square off nose to nose in the ring, Spin with OBJ and Josh and Gatorbait. After a few increasingly forceful shoves OBJ and Gatorbait turn, glance at each other and unload rights and lefts on Drink and Destroy. D&D are then Irish whipped to opposite sides of the ring and then back to the center and collide with each other. Outback Jack picks up Spin, whips him into the ropes again but instead of letting him come back, clotheslines him over the top rope and out of the ring. Meanwhile Gatorbait drops a couple of elbows onto Josh and moves immediately to hook in his Rings of Saturn submission, but Josh is trying to crawl to the ropes. OBJ moves in to help Gatorbait out but the ref blocks him and forces him back out of the ring and onto the apron . . . while this is all happening Josh has given up the struggle and is tapping - when the hold isn't broken he gives one last strain and manages to hook the bottom rope, almost exactly at the same time the ref turns around, see Josh in the ropes and calls for the break. As Gatorbait releases the hold, Josh rolls underneath the rope and falls to the floor where Spin collects him and the pair regroup. They make their way back to the corner while OBJ tags in. D&D climb back into their own corner and the ref calls Josh back into the ring, OBJ charges but Josh hits a drop toe hold, crashing OBJ's head into the second turnbuckle. D&D immediately take advantage and begin double teaming OBJ, always staying just legal, breaking at 4 and swapping in and out every 30 seconds - a perfect example of tag team wrestling. Following a slipup, OBJ is able to roll underneath an attempted clothesline from Spin and dives into his corner for the hot tag to Gatorbait who storms out taking down both Josh and Spin with repeated clotheslines, suplex's and hip-tosses. Finally Spin rolls out of the ring once more and Gatorbait picks Josh up for a vertical suplex into the center of the ring. Unfortunately for Gatorbait as he picks Josh up Spin grabs his feet and Josh spins around to land on top of Gatorbait. Spin has ducked down below the apron and so is hidden from the ref who counts one, two three and D&D steal the win!! WINNERS in 15:01 – Drink & Destroy CAPELLAN vs. SRIRAM vs. UNCLE ENTITY - #1 Contenders Match for the Intercontinental TitleJunior Hale is YOUR Referee! Capellan looks nervously back and forth ad Sriram and UE stare down. Capellan jumps on Sriram's back and tries to body scissors, leaving UE to watch for a few seconds, stunned. Sriram backs into a corner and slams Capellan's back into the turnbuckle. Sriram staggers out of the corner, only to be flattened by a clothesline from UE. Cap tries to get up but UE just keeps going and lands a knee in Cap's face. Stomps draw a count from Junior Hale, and UE backs off to be caught in a rollup from Sriram, but only a two count. Both stand, discovering Caps on the top turnbuckle. Both reach for Caps and toss him to the center of the ring. Sriram drops a leg on Cap's neck, then rolls aside as UE starts kicking Cap around. Capellan tries to roll clear, but UE and Sriram boot him around like a soccer ball. Capellan rolls away from Sriram and drop toe holds UE. Given the size difference, Cap knows he can't do too much else and just stomps on UE's back with both feet. He kicks UE in the head and backs up, making UE crawl around the ring after him. Sriram flops in a corner hammock and watches Cap making a fool of UE, but he grows bored of it quickly and resets himself on the top rope. He launches with a missile dropkick which sends UE clean out of the ring. Cap almost doesn't see it and nearly gets bowled over, having not broken stride despite the attack. Sriram reaches for an arm and tries to twist Caps around, but Cap gets into it and the two of them spend a couple of minutes MAT RASSLIN. As they continue, some smart aleck in the OOWF production truck replays UE crawling after cap. Infuriated, he climbs back in the ring, grabs Sriram and Caps and gives them a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER. He hauls up Capellan for a brain buster but Sriram grabs UE around the waist. With Herculean effort, both get suplexed! Sriram leaps on UE to attempt the CITIZEN ERASED, but Capellan rolls clear and dropkicks Sriram in the back. Both fall on UE! UE shoves them both off and has utterly lost his temper. He stiffs Sriram and starts chasing Capellan around the ring. Sriram gets back to his feet and tackles UE. Capellan joins in the dog pile. Referee Hale tries to separate them, but a stray swing from one of them sends him tumbling to a corner. He gets up and tries to jump into the piles to separate them, but UE accidentally shoves him off. Hale stops near the corner by the timekeeper, and Hale calls for the bell. WINNER - NO CONTEST - Match called at 13:45 CANADIAN DRAGON vs. AX-MANA lot of hidden agendas here, so it’s doubtful we’ll get a clean finish, or even a clean start. How’s that for anvilicious foreshadowing? That’s what happens when you go to write a match on Wednesday morning, the forums don’t exist and you have no clue what match you’re supposed to write. So let’s say Ax and CD found each other in the back of the arena and are beating the hell out of each other. “Ax and CD found each other in the back of the arena and are beating the hell out of each other.” Then let’s say Dragon finds a conspicuously placed ladder leaning against a wall. “Dragon finds a conspicuously placed ladder leaning against a wall.” Then let’s say surely he’ll use that against Ax. “Surely he’ll use that against Ax. And don’t call me Shirley.” Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Meanwhile, Ax and CD are slobberknockering each other around backstage, and ref Gavin Hale is for some reason waving his arms around and threatening to count them out of the match. Yet it’s been about five minutes, and somehow Hale hasn’t reach the 10-count yet. Dragon beats down Ax enough that he can climb on top of said conspicuously placed ladder and leap from it. SIX STAR FROG SPLASH ON AX!!! CD sells like RVD, and since it was a six-star, it hurt Dragon as much as it did Ax. So when CD finally recovers, Ax found enough strength to throw CD into some clangy poles (TM, Wankipedia), and then puts THE FIGURE FOUR ON DRAGON! The ref doesn’t know what to do at this point, but it doesn’t matter because Three Piece Set runs in and attacks both men! That’s finally enough for Hale, and he walks away in disgust. Meanwhile, Three Piece Set randomly beats down Ax and Dragon, leaving it perfectly unclear whether they have an allegiance with either man. WINNER – No Contest THIM REYNOLDS vs. CONCRETE TG vs. BLACKDRAGON – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchThim, Crete and Dragon all meet in the center of the ring, Thim smirks and takes off his title and shows it to Crete and Dragon. Crete looks at Thim and is about to attack when BD blindsides him with a shot to the face that drops Crete to the mat, when Thim looks down at Crete, BD blisters him wit ha chop to the chest once, twice three times, backing Thim into the corner. BD whips Thim across the ring to the opposite corner, and charges out to follow, but gets decapitated by a clothesline from Crete. Crete spins and charges into the corner trying for a splash, but Thim catches him in mid air and reverses it into a choke slam. Thim flips Crete over and tries for the Adjustment, but Blackdragon breaks the hold wit ha drop kick to Thim’s face. BD pulls Thim up and hits a belly to back suplex, then quickly climbs the ropes, but not quickly enough, Crete catches him on the top rope with a shot to the mid section, then superplexes BD off the top and floats over for the pin, but as he does, Thim pounces on Crete and locks on the rear naked choke! Crete fights the move and manages to get to the ropes and force the break. As Thim gets to his feet, Blackdragon grabs him by the head and blasts him with a head but between the eyes that drops Thim to one knee. BD scoops Thim up and plants him on the mat, then hits the ropes and plants a knee in his sternum, then grabs Thim’s arm and locks on a fujiwara arm bar, not to be out done, Crete grabs the other arm and locks on the same move. Thim screams in pain as the two threaten to break his arms. Thim manages to just get the toe of his boot on the bottom rope to force the break and slide out of the ring. The match continues back and forth for another ten minutes, we are closing in on the fifteen minute time limit. Thim is down in one corner, BD is on his back in the center of the ring. Crete climbs the ropes attempting a flying elbow drop, but he gets caught by Dragon. Dragon takes him off the top with a fisherman buster suplex, Dragon bridges and gets a two count before Thim breaks it up with an elbow to the midsection, knocking the wind out of BD. Thim quickly flips Dragon over, adjusts his elbow pad and locks on the adjustment, wrenching the move on hard right in front of a barely conscious Concrete TG. BD fights the move, but after a few seconds begins to fade, after a minute the referee raises Dragon’s arm and it drops three times. WINNER in 14:48 – Thim Reynolds KZ vs. THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match The Devil’s and the Halfrican Americans are already in the ring jawing at each other when kz’s music hits and they make their way to the ring. Jack slumps in the corner and laughs maniacally while LD Williams takes off his title and shoves it right in the other team’s faces. The bell rings and the Devil’s turn and hammer Williams in the face dropping him to the mat. They put the boots to him while THA turn and hit a dual hanging dropkick to Moose who is still trapped in the corner. LD Williams fights to his feet and catches Camby in the face with a forearm, then turns and kicks Tommy low and goes for a DDT, but Harper recovers in time to clothesline Williams in the back of the head. In the corner, THA pull Moose to his feet and Fly drops to one knee and Nayr grabs Moose and hits a Stroke, driving Moose face into Fly’s knee. THA pull Moose back to his feet, and send Moose to the ropes and catch him with a back drop that sends Moose over the top rope to the floor below. Meanwhile, Camby is holding Williams up and Tommy hits the ropes and connects with an elbow to the bridge of Williams nose, likely breaking it, and sending blood gushing down Williams face. Williams spits the blood back at Tommy, and Camby releases Williams, presses him above his head and throws him over the top rope to the floor. When The Devil’s turn around to celebrate, Fly and Nayr leaps from opposite corners and connect with missile dropkicks that send the big men through the ropes to the floor. On the outside, Moose and Williams attack Camby and O’Neil and the four men brawl. Fly and Nayr get a running start and both men spring to the top rope, then hit suicide planchas crashing the pile of men to the floor. THA spring to their feet, grab a couple of chairs from ring side and climb to the apron, as Harper gets to his feet, Fly leaps and slams the chair down across his skull, dropping the big man and leaving a gash on the top of his head. Nayr tosses the chair at Tommy, who instinctively catches it, then Nayr hits a spinning heel kick off the apron that drives the chair back into Tommy’s face sending him sprawling up the ramp. Jack and Williams have since slid back into the ring, The Halfrican Americans slide into the ring and Nayr remains on all fours while Fly gets a running start and catches a groggy Moose with a splash in the corner, then both men return to the middle of the ring and hit matching super kicks on Williams sending him stumbling back into the corner. Fly and Nayr pull Moos out of the corner and hit a two man choke slam in the center of the ring and climb to the corners and set up for the Nayr Press – Flava Drop combo, when the lights go out and a strobe light hits for a few seconds. Who is this? Another team is in the ring? It’s THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER! Only they look different, they are wearing combat fatigues and appear to have blood smeared across their bodies. Jack scales the ropes and catches Fly and shoves him off the top rope sending him to the floor, Gator does the same to Nayr. The Aussies then fall on Jack and Williams and pummel them both. Gator pulls Williams to his feet and hits the CHOMP! While Jack pulls Moose up and they obliterate him with the CALL OF THE WILD! Wally tosses Gator a barbed wire boomerang, and Gator a razor wire kendo stick. Jack pulls Moose to a sitting position and rakes the barbs across his head until Moose is spilling blood horrifyingly. Gator pulls Williams to his feet, then smacks him in the head with the razor wire kendo stick, Williams hits the mat, and Gator wears it out lashing Williams back. With both Moose and Williams a bloody mess, The Aussies finally stop and Jack calls for the mic: You two wanted our answer? Well here it is. This Sunday, you won’t be facing the Team From Down Under, you will be facing Empty Team. And Jack, Williams, it is a good thing you two have a death wish, cause you awoke a beast that is gonna end your careers, and if you aren’t careful…your lives.With that they give a few more stomps to kz, then leave the ring, needless to say, the referee has thrown this match out. WINNER – No Contest in 13:38 ALTRAGEOUS vs. UNDERDAWG – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchBONG! BONG! WOOF! UD is out first, on the ATV, but Altrageous comes out of the crowd as Dawg parks the ATV and the champion sends UD to the post. Altrageous drops UD on the steps, then clotheslines him over the steps from behind. Altrageous has some words for some fans, then goes around to continue the pre-match assault… but UD sits up. Altrageous backs away, hides behind one of the girls, then rolls into the ring, signaling the start of the match. Dawg in and stalks Altrageous, and the champion bails to the floor again, this time grabbing his belt and making for the back. Altrageous walks around the corner of the ring, but Dawg goes MEDIEVAL~! UD goes over the top rope with a NO HANDS PLANCHA~! Crowd goes bat shit on that, and Dawg opens up on Altrageous with lefts and rights. Dawg hip tosses Altrageous on the floor, then rolls him in. OBEDIENCE SCHOOL~! Jumping clothesline, leg drop… UD is wasting no time going thru the offense, and Altragous is in trouble. He goes to the corner to buy some time. Dawg over and hits a flurry of punches, but referee Junior hale pulls him away for a break. Meanwhile, Sugar hands Altragous his title belt, and the champion looks for the cheap DQ, but UD boots him in the face. CHOKESLAM FROM THE KENNEL~! Dawg looks to finish with the LAST RIDE~! But Altrageous grabs the belt off the mat and bops Dawg in the head with it at the top of the power bomb, drawing the disqualification. WINNER by DQ in 5:48: UNDERDAWG Altrageous tries to get his bearings after the bell, and UD sits up again, and he’s pissed. Altrageous turns around and staggers right into the LAST RIDE POWERBOMB~! No belt this time, and Dawg lays him out. UD pauses momentarily, the signals for the FIREPLUG DRIVER~! But Sugar and Spice are able to drag Altrageous’ carcass out of the ring, and take the IC title belt with them. Altrageous is out on his feet as the girls help him to the back. After decimating Alt, Dawg remains in the ring and calls for a mic: <Dawg takes a few moments to compose himself, breathing heavily> You know, I have been here since day one in the OOWF. I have been here since day one, I have done everything asked of me, I have fought in Ultimate Hell matches, Inferno Casket Matches, Dawg Catcher Matches. When they needed a tag team, I gave up my quest for the world title and I teamed with Blackdragon, the whole time figuring I would be granted a title shot at some point. I sat by and watched as Hardbody Harris won the title. Did I get a shot? No I did not. Then Microplay of all people lucks out and wins the title, do I get a shot at him? No I do not. Then Niles Anderson wins the belt. I didn’t really expect a shot at Niles, that coward knows he was damn lucky to escape with the belt the last time we met. So again, I sit and wait. Harris gets the title back, still nothing. And now, Chris Cole has been parading around with the title since May, and still, I get nothing. Well, it has been a year, an ENTIRE YEAR, since anyone has given me a one on one world title match. I am a patient man, but my patience has run out. I don’t care what happens at the Territorial Beatings II pay per view, whoever comes out of there with the belt, be it Cole or Dragon, you are living on borrowed time, cause that belt is mine. Anyone who gets in my way will REST…..IN…..PIECES.3PIECE SET vs. ERIC O’MAC & SERAPH – Steel Cage MatchEric O’Mac and Seraph enter to EOM’s music, coming to the ring as the crew finish assembling the cage. Eric is subdued and Seraph is, well, Seraph. They test the strength of the walls briefly and enter through the door. “Master of Puppets” blasts through the arena as Chris Cole and Firechild burst through the curtain. They stride down the aisle, Firechild taunting fans and Cole brandishing his belt. The Set stop at ringside and mock their opponents. Eric and Seraph exchange a glance, then wordlessly head to opposite corners and climb the cage, perching on top and daring the Set to enter. As the Set remove their jackets, Seraph climbs down. Eric, however, gets a strange look on his face. Still standing on top of the cage, he points to himself, runs a few steps across the cage wall, and dives, leveling the Set in the aisle! As the crowd splits about evenly into chants of “E-O-M” and “Holy Shit”, referee Sterling Glaw leaves the cage to check on the wrestlers and decide what to do with three dead men and a match that hasn’t started yet. Seraph follows him out, exchanging a brief word with Eric, who’s starting to stir, then going after Cole. Seraph picks Cole up bodily and drives him into the cage wall, then shoves him through the door and into the ring while Sterling, satisfied that all four men are still breathing, starts trying to get everyone else into the cage. Seraph shoves Cole into the ropes and chops away. Seraph with an Irish whip…and the Propitation! Seraph covers just as Sterling closes the cage door. He hurries over and counts; 1…2…Firechild pulls Seraph off. Seraph and Firechild exchange punches, and Seraph gets the upper hand until Cole manages a low blow from behind, leaving Seraph open for a dropkick from FC. Before he can follow up, Eric comes out of nowhere with a spear. Eric drags FC through the ropes and drives his head into the cage, and FC is the first to bleed. Cole moves to help his partner, but Seraph grabs his ankle. Cole kicks at him, but Seraph catches the other leg and levers the champion off his feet. Seraph, still on his knees, goes for the leg, but Cole rolls him up for one. Both men struggle to their feet, exchanging blows. Meanwhile, Eric has positioned FC with his back against the cage. Eric hits the opposite ropes and spears FC into the cage. As FC collapses across the top rope, Eric springs to the top and hits a leg drop to FC’s back, flipping him over the ropes and into the ring. Eric covers but it’s broken up by Cole, who has staggered Seraph with a reverse atomic drop. Cole turns back to Seraph, ducks a punch, and runs him face-first into the cage. He continues to slam his head into the steel until the blood starts to flow. He drags Seraph back into the ring and sets up the Headliner, but Seraph reverses, back dropping Cole into the cage. Meanwhile, Eric picks up FC and throws him to the corner. An Irish whip is reversed, and Eric hits the corner hard. FC moves in with chops, then spins him around and locks on the Cher-Elohim. FC drags Eric out of the corner and falls to the mat to cinch in the hold, but is stomped by Seraph. FC lets go, but is still on his back so Eric hooks a leg and gets a one count before FC can throw him off. FC is to his feet first and grabs Eric’s legs, dragging him to the corner and catapulting him into the cage. Eric crumples to the mat as the blood starts to flow. FC joins Cole in a two-on one, and they go to town on Seraph, bouncing his head off of all four walls of the cage. No matter what they do, Seraph’s expression doesn’t change…until he ducks a move and takes the set down with a double clothesline. It might be a trick of the lights and the blood, but a brief, sadistic smile appears to form as Seraph tosses FC to a waiting EOM and stalks the Champion. Eric, clearly a little dazed, drags FC to the corner. He puts FC on the top rope and climbs up behind him, setting up a top-rope bulldog. FC knocks Eric of balance with an elbow, and climbs up on the turnbuckles himself. Both men hold on to the cage and exchange fists. FC gets the upper hand and grabs Eric. Wings of Phoenix from the top!! FC covers, One…Two…Seraph breaks the pin. FC looks over to see his partner upside down in the corner, struggling to untie the tag rope Seraph used to tie his leg to the turnbuckle. This momentary distraction gives Seraph time to hit the ropes, and FC turns around into a Propitation! Seraph covers, One…Two…Three. WINNERS in 17:36, Seraph and Eric O’Mac. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Territorial Beatings II PPV, Live August 27th from Yellowknife, Northwest Territory, Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, August 30th from Falconridge, Ontario Canada!
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