OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/Damage Control 2
Live, From Notus, Idaho
<Ok guys, sorry this one is not as up to par as the last one, I had a busy week and had to rush this one>
Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are coming to you from the Auxiliary Annex of the Notus Chamber of Veterans of Foreign War! We are coming off the heels of a spectacular pay per view in Doomy Doomy Doom Doom, as always I am joined by my colleagues Razz and Nash!
Razz: Well once again we are having tape issues with the production crew, so here we are again to bring you a recap of hot OOWF action from November 1.
Nash: Yeah, you boys really need to get those monkeys in the truck in order, not that I mind sitting here with you and collecting an easy payday, but you know me; I would rather do my talking in the ring.
Russ: We will get to tonight’s action in a moment, but I would just like to say a few words about Sunday’s pay per view, what an incredible card, and we saw the return of Donovan Viper!
Razz: and who would have thought that he would go against 3Piece Set? And no explanation either! I certainly hope one is forthcoming
Nash: Well, I had an idea that it was Viper all along, but my sources told me he would be siding with my boys The Chickenshit Heels.
Razz: Looks like your sources were incorrect Nash
Nash: Yeah, and they are being dealt with….harshly.
Russ: In addition to the return of Donovan Viper, we also learned the identity of the Mysterious Fourth Man in a Mask that had been palling around with Drink and Destroy.
Nash: Whodathunk it! Ax-Man is part of Drink & Destroy, my sources had him going into Crete’s Heroes Guild.
Razz: Strike two! Russ, Nash, Ax joining Drink and destroy is certainly an interesting development. If you think back to the feud between 3Piece Set and Drink& Destroy last year, Ax-Man was right in the middle of that, this has to be considered a bit of a coup for them, who knows the way 3Piece Set works better than a former member?
Russ: Indeed that is certainly a development that we will keep an eye on. We also saw The Halfrican Americans join Concrete’s Heroes Guild, and Voltage attack Crete and beat him mercilessly with a steel chair.
Razz: Nash, did your sources have that one?
Nash: Don’t we have a card to talk about?
AX-MAN vs. UNDERDAWGRuss: Well since you brought it up, let’s start with our opener. Ax-Man and UnderDawg fought to a brutal no contest
Razz: This one was essentially a brawl, Ax and Dawg took turns pummeling each other, and finally the ref couldn’t control it anymore and threw it out.
Nash: I haven’t seen a beating like that since someone blocked Big Show’s path to the all you can eat buffet. The carnage was nightmarish. Bodies everywhere. We had to subdue him with condiments until the workers cleared the buffet and restocked. I tell ya, I have seen hell, you don’t want to see that.
Russ: Fantastic story aside, we also need to mention something else. The once unstoppable UnderDawg is still looking for his first win in the new OOWF year. This is not like the big man to struggle like this.
Razz: Well not to mention that he lost his specialty match at the pay per view, Chris Cole is worse for the wear, having taken a helluva beating, but he walked out of there with the title
Nash: And that is all that matters. What I did like about UnderDawg was that he did at least show a little more aggression tonight. Sure he lost the match, but did you see that post match beat down he gave the referee? BRUTAL! It was like two rabid midgets chasing a pork chop in a garbage can!
Russ: What?
Nash: Fine, it was a slobberknocker
Russ: Ahhhh I understand now. So where does that leave these three? Ax-Man is surely in line for a title shot, especially given his past with Chris Cole and the rest of the Set.
Razz: I would think so, that is if Cole doesn’t duck him, as for UnderDawg, I don’t know what to say about him, does he take on someone he knows he can beat, or does he keep on and keep doing his thing?
Nash: Well I do know what the referee will be doing
Razz: What’s that?
Nash: recovering
Russ: Will you be serious?
Nash: Sure Gorilla
Razz: Maybe we should move on to the returning Donovan Viper
DONOVAN VIPER vs. SYBRuss: We saw the return of Donovan Viper as he dispatched SYB in fairly short order. Donovan looked good in his return despite a long layoff.
Nash: One thing that bothers mo though, still no word on where he stands. We know he is not going to side with 3Piece Set, and we can probably safely assume that he will not be buddying back up with his former running buddies in The Devil’s Brigade, so where does that leave him? We need to know!
Razz: I can’t really see him donning a costume and joining the Heroes Guild either
Russ: Well I am sure we will get an explanation sooner or later, until then, Viper looked good in his return
Nash: But what was up with the cape? Who did he think he was, Baron Mikel Scicluna?
Russ: How old are you?
Nash: Well Russ, if you want to know where Viper stands so badly, go ask him, you seem to have been doing really well with backstage interviews lately
Russ: No thank you. Moving along now…
THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER Russ: In what has to be considered a bit of an upset, The Halfrican Americans got a surprise win over The Team From Down Under, but unbeknownst to them, they got an assist
Razz: From kz of all people!
Nash: Well they hate each other, so I can certainly understand that, but what I cannot understand is that dolt Concrete TG coming down to the ring and trying to get the decision reversed!
Russ: Well, all I can say is that Crete and the Heroes Guild want to do things a certain way, and they are not about to resort to cheating. They would never want to win with an assist from someone else – especially kz.
Nash: A win is a win, and lucky for them, this one stood, otherwise, I would have to give Crete a stern talking to
Razz: I tell ya Russ, here in the OOWF you need a scorecard, who is helping who, and what the hell is going on? I mean, how much must kz hate The Aussies for them to actually help Crete and his boys get a win? Crete’s little group stands against everything that kz are, its crazy!
Nash: you know, back in my day, we had clear cut faces and heels. None of this mixing crap!
Razz: Didn’t you have like 3 versions of the now? Red, Black and B-Team?
Nash: Well, yeah
Razz: And didn’t the fans pretty much cheer for you Hall, Hogan and Sting?
Nash: Well, yeah
Razz: This despite the fact that you were supposed to be heels
Nash: Don’t you have a bingo hall to go to or something?
Razz: That’s what I thought
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. VOLTAGERuss: In our next match, Voltage got a win over Canadian Dragon after his hired goons interfered, thoughts?
Razz: Well it certainly looked like Canadian Dragon was about to win this one with the Canadian Destroyer, when Firechild came to the ring! He had no business there, what was he doing?
Nash: Looked like he was trying to set the ring on fire if you ask me
Russ: Why would someone do that?
Razz: Beats me, but I tell ya what, those goons of Voltage, they put it to Dragon, I have never seen one man shocked so many times with, what were they, cattle prods?
Nash: Well then I assume you have never been to Thailand
Razz: Well that one time, but there were no cattle prods or anything like that, just chicken feathers and this short guy, it was sumthin’ he had half an arm, and he would wrap his arm in bubble wrap and….
Nash: AH Yeah, Manuel!
Russ: Can we PLEASE get back on topic?
Razz: Ok fine, Nash we’ll talk later. Well, we talked earlier about the slump that UnderDawg is in, and in many ways, Canadian Dragon is in the same kind of slump. Since he lost to Chris Cole in that ultimate ladder match, he just hasn’t been the same. He has seemed unfocused and, well just lethargic
Nash: Maybe they should team up, they can be the Canadian UnderDawgs, HA!
Razz: But, UnderDawg is not Canadian is he?
Nash: Well where is he from?
Razz: Parts Unknown
Nash: Do you know where that is?
Razz: No
Nash: Then how do you know it is not in Canada? Did you know they have a big hole in their country?
Razz: I knew that, we ran a card for ECW in The Hole once
Nash: They play bingo in Canada?
Razz: Yeah but they use huge stones instead of chips, and you have to say BINGO eh?
Nash: Those wacky Canucks!
Russ: Are you two about done?
Razz: Ok Russ, what do you think Dragon should do?
Russ: Quite frankly I don’t know. Nash, you are an athlete, what do you do when you get into a funk?
Nash: You are talking to the wroooooong person there Russ, I am in my prime.
Razz: You look it.
Russ: well that is all well and good for Canadian Dragon. From what I hear, Voltage has set his sights on destroying Concrete TG and The Heroes Guild.
THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE Nash: Next up! I’ll handle this one, the RIGHTFULL World Tag Team champions, The Chickenshit Heels dropped a heart breaker to The Devil’s Brigade when those darn Devil’s CHEATED! Yes, cheated, my boys out of a win.
Razz: Russ, what do you think about The Chickenshit Heels this week? That was a pretty brutal beat down Johnny Adrenaline gave you this past week.
Russ: Well initially Razz, I was pretty upset with Johnny, but then I began to think about it and I can see that they are making the difficult transition from heel to face. They are embracing their face sides, as we saw tonight, they battled the devious Devil’s Brigade and fought the good fight. I can forgive it this time because those two are such great athletes.
Nash: Russ, that was beautiful man I love you!
Razz: Ok, I am gonna hurl here. Come on Russ, Adrenaline and Capps stand for everything you hate! They will take every short cut known to man, they are more worried about looking good than being good, they rely on their promos instead of their ability in the ring, they pissed on the Canadian flag, they may have contributed to the death of an Indian in Canada, they corrupted an entire school of children in New York, they donned masks to avoid capture in Canada, they pulled one of the biggest swerves ever in duping Drink and Destroy, and to top it off, Adrenaline BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU LAST WEEK!
Russ: Those were all just misunderstandings. I believe deep in their hearts they are good solid faces who will prove themselves.
Razz: Did I mention AA has a gambling problem?
Russ: he is overcoming addictions to be successful, how can you not love that!
Nash: Folks, this is the reason why he is the best in the business! And I just want to let 3Piece Set know that we are by no means done with them. We want a rematch sooner rather than later, so Drink & Destroy, I know you think you are the next in line to take out the champs, but you are gonna just have to take a backseat for a bit until the real champions get what is rightfully ours. Now, on to the next match!
KZ vs. WCW Russ: Well next we have two teams that might have something to say about who gets a title shot and when. Kz picked up a win over wCw in what is sure to be the first of several meetings between these two.
Nash: Now, see, here is where I was a little disappointed in The Team From Down Under, kz cost them their match against The Halfrican Americans and there was no retaliation on their part. You gotta announce your presence with authority! Let them know you are not going to be messed with!
Razz: Well, back to kz and wCw, wCw won that match at the pay per view, and you have to think that would have given them a title match in the near future, but now that kz holds a win over wCw, that sort of brings things back to even, doesn’t it?
Russ: And The Devil’s Brigade also won, so you would think that they would also be lined up for a title shot
Nash: I tell ya, I haven’t seen this much tag team depth since the ’88 Survivor Series, remember that Russ?
Russ: Indeed I do.
Razz: kz have been in a bad mood since dropping the titles to wCw in September, and there is no team that can bring the violence like kz. What makes this feud more interesting is that there have been some rumors around the back that wCw is thinking about casting their lot in with Concrete TG and The Heroes Guild
Russ: Well that would certainly put kz, and for that matter Thim Reynolds, in an awkward spot. It is all about the numbers, and if Crete puts together a group this strong, kz and Thim would almost be forced to patch up their differences in the face of adversity
Razz: This would also put a bit of a cramp in Thim’s desire to win the world title
Nash: This is starting to sound like a soap opera! But in all seriousness, I wouldn’t worry about kz and Thim too much. Those guys have a plan, I have no doubt about that
Russ: Oh really?
Nash: NEXT MATCH!
ERIC O’MAC vs. BLACKDRAGON Russ: Eric O’Mac and Blackdragon have recently developed quite a rivalry. These two have been battling one another for several weeks, and neither man can seem to get the upper hand. Tonight Blackdragon scored the win, but it was not an easy victory.
Razz: Well, I think we might finally be seeing a bit of the return of the old Blackdragon, he has joined with Crete and The Heroes Guild now, and with that kind of support, demented as it may be, backing you, it is easy to have a little more confidence in the ring.
Nash: The little man speaks the truth. Back when I was running the nWo, I gotta say, in addition to my awesome presence in the ring, knowing I had a pack of jackals waiting to tear anyone who got the upper hand on my to pieces was kinda nice. The Heroes Guild, that is gonna be one blood thirsty organization
Russ: Uh, Nash, I hate to break it to ya, but that is not what the Heroes Guild is all about
Nash: It’s not?
Razz: Nah. The Heroes Guild is all about doing business the right way and giving the kids someone to look up to
<period of silence>
Russ: You still with us?
Nash: THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER! <Nash turns directly to the camera> Concrete TG, lemme give you a lesson here, for free son. I didn’t get to be the kiss stealin, wheelin’ dealin’ jet flyin’ limo ridin, up all night playboy that I am by pandering to the fans! I got to be the man by stabbing people in the back and cheating all those who got in my way! Sting! HA! How’s the knee? Even Robocop couldn’t save you! Dusty Rhodes? I have a hundred ring canvases with your blood all over them fat boy! Ricky Seteamboat! I took your wife and kid to space mountain! We rode the ride, then that night, she rode the NATURE BOY!....
Ric Flair: What the hell are you doing?
Nash: Oh, hey naich. Uh, well, you know, my friends call me the Nature Boy
RF: No they don’t
Nash: No, I guess not. Well one time Scott Hall though I was you
Flair: Hall was drunk
Nash: It was 9am on a Tuesday morning!
Flair: Hall was drunk
Nash: Wow, will you look at the time, Russ, don’t we have a match to talk about or something?
Flair: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOWF! Whether you like it or whether you don’t you better get used to it, cause it, along with Ric Flair’s Sandwich Shoppe, stop by today and get a dollar off any supersized turkey and provolone sub, tell ‘em Naitch sent ya, IS THE BEST THING GOING TODAY! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
CONCRETE TG vs. SPIN HANSENRuss: Not much I can add to that, so it is probably time to move on, Spin Hansen and Concrete met in what was actually a fantastic, well fought match
Razz: Yeah, that was up until the end. Crete had Hansen in trouble and looked like he was about to get the win when Voltage came out on the ramp and distracted Crete. That gave Spin the opening he needed, and he hit the Spinal Justice for the three count
Razz: That was a big win, and before you even suggest it Nash, no I don’t think for one second that Spin and Voltage were in cahoots
Nash: He interfered and Spin benefited, that’s all I’m saying. Maybe there wasn’t anything else to it.
Russ: Well, Spin Hansen is certainly a man who has been on both sides of the rules, but here I have to believe that Razz is right, I think had Spin known Voltage was there, he wouldn’t have taken advantage of such a, well, advantage
Razz: Well now, let’s not go too far. Spin is savvy enough that he will take advantage of any opportunity offered to him, but that doesn’t mean the two were scheming or anything. Crete and Voltage have a date in the ring, and from what I hear, that will be next week!
Nash: And Spin “Freakin” Hansen will be chasing Firechild’s Onslaught championship, which leads us to….
Russ: You are getting good with these segue’s Nash
Nash: One day I will be wearing a goofy cowboy hat and calling matches with the Tazzmaniac
Razz: You strike me as more of a trucker mesh hat type
FIRECHILD vs. THE KNIFE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match Russ: The Knife gets his first shot at OOWF gold against Firechild
Razz: You know, everyone knows this kid The Knife is a bit of a hayseed…
Nash: A bit?
Razz: Well, ok, he is not the sharpest Knife in the box, HA! Anyway, he gave Firechild one helluva match tonight, and I gotta think, he had the Onslaught title won, if not for interference by Voltage
Nash: Man, that wasn’t just interference, dude hit him in the head with a BRICK!
Russ: After that, Knife was easy pickings for the Wings of Phoenix and Firechild retains. What was interesting was after the match, Knife woke up and noticed the brick lying in the ring, he never saw Voltage hit him, so you gotta think he is putting two and two together there
Nash: He would get seven anyway Russ, stop putting ideas into the boys head. He had a good match, but until this kid develops a killer instinct, he isn’t going to win anything. Maybe I should take him under my wing…
Razz: You could do that, but you would just blow a quad
Nash: B-17, BINGO!
Razz: Where? Lemme see, wait, JERK!
Russ: Will you two stop? From what I can see, The Knife certainly deserves a rematch for the title, but Spin Hansen’s impressive win tonight should shoot him to the top of the rankings. Firechild has both of them to deal with, plus the threat of Thim seeking revenge looming over his shoulder, will he be able to hold up under the pressure?
Nash: Firechild is a cool cat, somewhat demented, and possibly psycho, but cool. Plus, he has the Set behind him. Was that? Oh yeah, I think it was, that was another segue!
3PIECE SET vs. DRINK & DESTROY – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchRuss: Rink & Destroy get their first shot at 3Piece Set tonight, rekindling what was one hellacious feud from a few years ago.
Razz: They got the win tonight, but not the titles. It looked like they had the match in hand when Altrageous smacked Capslock in the head with a steel chair, right in front of the referee! Intentional disqualification!
Nash: Smart move!
Russ: How can you even say that?
Nash: Look, its all about self preservation. If you are about to lose your titles, do something to keep your opponent from beating you, very simple equation there
Russ: But that is cheating!
Nash: CHEATING? OH LORD NO!
Razz: HA!
Nash: Look, what good would it have done 3Piece Set not to get disqualified tonight? They probably would have lost the titles, they would then have to fight to get them back. Why bother? If you can just draw the DQ, take it and fight another day. Make THEM come after you, when you are the champion, you don’t chase anyone.
Russ: You are twisted.
Razz: Well, there is one disadvantage to this, all it is going to do is make Drink & Destroy mad. We saw one sneak attack from 3Piece Set already, couple that with this, and I can’t think life is gonna get any easier for the champs
Nash: Smart move by the champs. Make the challengers mad and they play right into your hands
Russ: I can’t believe you were a champion
Nash: Most successful champion ever! 37 time WWF world champion
Russ: 37 times?
Nash: Well I defended it 37 times, same thing
Razz: Speaking of title defenses, we have the Intercontinental title defended next! See I can do segues too!
Nash: Yeah but that one sucked
CAPELLAN vs. ECOSYSTEM – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchRuss: Capellan scored a win when Ecosystem was counted out of the ring
Razz: Yeah, and I think Eco will not be pleased about this, The Knife wandered to ringside holding the piece of brick that he got clubbed in the head with and accused Eco of hitting him with it. Eco argue with him and tried to explain it, and subsequently, he got counted out
Nash: Great match between these two though, even if they are rather small, I hear GM the Rick has already ordered a rematch for next week
Russ: Inside information?
Nash: Deep insider information
CHRIS COLE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchRuss: Finally time for our main event, Thim Reynolds and Chris Cole fought to a furious no contest. This one was a train wreck from the start, we saw Thim take control of the match early, then the rest of 3Piece Set came to the ring and we were close to a beat down on Thim, to his credit he stood nose to nose with them
Razz: Yeah but then kz made it to the ring and we had ourselves an old fashioned face off.
Nash: That is until Drink & Destroy came to the ring and attacked 3Piece Set
Russ: In an odd move, kz and Thim simply walked away. I have a feeling we will be hearing more about that in the coming week
Russ: That’s all the time we have for tonight folks, tune in next week for more OOWF action, for Razz and Nash, I am Russ, Goodnight
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Call To Arms PPV, Live November 26th from TBD! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem November 8th, Live from Havre, Montana!
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Black-Mad-Tar-Jack-Attitude-Jodrell-Crete-Ryan-Spin-FF-Volt Production Company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.
