OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live From Happy Jack, Arizona
THE KNIFE vs. SYBSYB comes to the ring first, he is wearing a neck brace and has a man in a well made suit following him. They climb into the ring, SYB very gently. The man in the well made suit grabs the mic and begins to speak:
MIAWMS: My name is Cleophis Augustine Susquehanna Huguenot, and I am the legal representation for Mr. S-Y-B. We are here tonight to server a Mr. UnderDawg with official papers of litigation for an unprovoked, heinous, brutal, ghastly, excessive attack on my client, who was merely trying to engage in an athletic test of wills. So Mr. UnderDawg, make this easier on yourself and come out here now and be a man and accept your papers, <looking at the camera menacingly> BEFORE WE HAVE YOU SERVED![/i]
The crowd titters for a moment, then UnderDawg’s music plays and the dead Dawg heads to the ring. He steps over the top rope and walks to the middle of the ring and gets right in Cleophis Augustine Susquehanna Huguenot’s face, they go nose to nose, or rather nose to chest and Mr. Huguenot DEMANDS that Dawg take the papers, poking him in the chest to drive the point home. UD goozles Mr. Huguenot and CHOKESLAMS him straight to hell. The papers fly to the mat, UD picks them up, glances over them and smirks, then bends down and stuffs them into Cleophis’ mouth. As UD is stuffing Cleophis, SYB grows a set and attacks UD from behind. UD spins around and glares at SYB, then grabs him by the head and throws him into the corner and follows him in with a brutal clothesline. UD pulls SYB out of the corner, sends him to the ropes, then nearly takes his head off with a big boot. UD scoops SYB up and tosses him over his shoulder and delivers a devastating Fireplug Piledriver! SYB is DEAD! In the meantime The Knife has made his way to the ring, he climbs between the ropes and looks at the carnage. He looks at UD and looks a little confused, UD tells him to cover him, but Knife balks claiming it would be an unfair win. UD glares at Knife, Knife drops to the mat and covers SYB and gets the academic three count.
WINNER in :10 The Knife
AX-MAN vs. ERIC O’MACThe bell rings to kick this one off and Ax and Eric circle the ring watching each other for the first move. Ax rolls in for a single leg but EOM spins out of the way and circles once more . . . 30 seconds later it's EOM who moves in for the attack and Ax who spins out of it but rather than moving back in to circle again he flies straight into the ropes, bounces off and takes EOM down with a flying shoulder tackle. Ax drops down and hits one elbow drop but misses the second as EOM rolls out of the way. Ax bends down to grab EOM by the throat but with a handful of hair he gets dragged through the ropes and drops to the floor. The ref moves in and moves EOM back allowing Ax to climb back in but EOM shoves him aside and drop another elbow on Ax as he climbs back in. This time it's Ax who grabs EOM but he manages to catch himself on the second rope and plants a knee squarely in Ax's face. As EOM untangles himself from the ropes Ax pulls him in for a schoolboy getting a two count - the two me hit a brief chain sequence on the mat with neither gaining a significant upper hand but both getting several more near falls. Both men regain their footing and continue where they left off trading blows, punch for punch and kick for kick. Ax finally get an entry in the W column after a mix-up lands EOM on his back and the ref on his knees in the middle of the ring. Seeing a perfect opportunity Ax springs off the ropes, springs off the top of the ref and crashes into EOM with his running Moonsault.
WINNER in 8.27, Ax-Man
CONCRETE TG vs. VOLTAGEConcrete TG and Voltage lock up, drag each other to the ropes and CTG breaks clean. They lock up again, go to the corner and Voltage, surprisingly, breaks clean. CTG looks bemused, and holds out his hand for a shake. Voltage shakes his hands—and there’s no shenanigans! Another lockup, CTG whips Voltage to the ropes, BIG BACKDROP! CTG turns around to watch Voltage; Voltage comes up holding his back and nodding. Yet another lockup, this time Voltage whips CTG into the ropes, BIG BACKDROP! Voltage turns to look at CTG…AND THER LIGHTS GO OUT IN THE ARENA (and the booker’s brain, if you get my drift)! What the hell? Did The Rick not pay the bill again? We can’t see a damn thing here. It sounds like something is going on in the ring! Does no one even have a flashlight? For crying out loud! Suddenly, the lights come back on, the ref is down and AC and DC are in the ring, pounding away on Concrete TG. The lights fade again (like a bad cold does to a human), and there is more ruckus in the ring. The lights fade back on again, and the tide has turned! Sabu and LADDER are in the ring! Voltage eats a swinging ladder from LADDER! Oh, by the way, the ref is still down. Looks like he’s taking a nap. Sabu and LADDER get the best of AC and DC, but the bodyguards leave behind the SHOCK STICK! Voltage crawls over to the shock stick. CTG is back up and staggers over to Voltage, unaware. He grabs Voltage by the hair, and Voltage nails CTG with THE SHOCK STICK! Someone in the crowd has a sign “VOLTAGE FEARS THE MOUNTIE!” For some reason, the ref decides this is the time to wake up from his nap. Voltage discards the shock stick, crawls over to CTG, wraps him up and gets the three count!
WINNER in 5:42, Voltage.
BLACKDRAGON vs. ECOSYSTEMCollar and elbow tie up starts things off. BD forces Eco into the corner. Clean break by BD and they lock up again. Eco manages to grab an arm bar, but BD quickly snaps him over with an arm drag. Eco back up, fakes the tie up and knees BD in the gut twice before bring him down with a snap mare. Nasty kick to the back gets a 1 count and Eco follows up with some stomps and a running leg drop for 2 count this time. Eco drags BD to his feet and shoots him into the corner. Climb the ropes knee to the face scores and Eco bows for the crowd before continuing the assault. He gives BD about three chops before BD fights back with boots to the gut. Eco thumbs the eyes and grabs BD for something, but BD head butts the shit out Eco and drops him to one knee. BD gives him half a dozen knees to the face before lifting and driving him to the mat with a face first suplex. Cover only gets 2 and Eco bails for a breather. BD follows after him and they brawl on the outside for a few moments before Eco breaks free and gets back in the ring. Eco begs off and sucker punches BD in the gut before staggering him with a chin breaker Beautiful drop kick to the mouth puts BD down. As he gets back up, Eco puts him right back down with a swinging neck breaker for a near fall. Eco drops eight elbows to the back of BD’s neck before locking in a chin lock with added knee to the neck. BD attempts to fire up, but Eco yanks him back down neck first across his knee. BD slow to get up and Eco attempts the Endgame~!!! BD counters into a northern lights suplex without the bridge. Both men are down, but Eco is up first and hammers away at BD with some forearms. Irish whip and BD rebounds off the ropes with a turn around flying forearm. BD pulls Eco into a massive belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Eco retreats to the corner and BD demolishes him with some mud hole stomping and a running knee to the face. Cover gets two and Eco calls for a time out before dumping BD throat first across the middle rope. Eco goes to work with the rope assisted choking an elbow drop across the back of the neck. Eco punishes the neck with a neck vice and some elbow shots. BD feeds off the crowds chant and gets back to his feet and hits a desperation back suplex. He sits up and tries to shake off the effects the move had on him. Eco is caught with a barrage of clotheslines and Samoan drop for two. BD climbs up top, but Eco crotches him and hits a massive top rope bull dog that would shatter a lesser man’s face. BD barely gets the shoulder up at 2. Eco concentrates his offense on the neck once more, but manages to avoid a knee drop and stun Eco with a ghetto blaster to the face. BD scores with a German suplex, but Eco counters the second with a roll up for 2. Eco gets in a few shots to the neck and attempts a back suplex, but BD lands on his feet and hurls Eco across the ring with a release German. Both men down until six. They slug it out once they’re back to their feet and Eco manages to gain the advantage with a beautiful sternum crushing kick to the chest after BD misses a roaring forearm. Eco lays into him with two more kicks before he attempts a Urinage. BD blocks it and counters into an STO. Knife has made his way to the ring. BD slashes his finger across his throat and Knife jumps on the apron. Eco shoves the ref away from him, inadvertently sending him into BD, who hits heads with Kinfe. BD staggers right into the Endgame~!!!. Cover and that’s all she wrote.
WINNER in 26:14 Ecosystem
THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER – Winner Gets a Title ShotElimination rules here, and TCH grabs chairs and sits at ringisde, figuring that can possibly make them better heels. Camby and Gator start and Gator gains the upper hand. Tommy fares no better, and the Aussies get a little double team work in. Fly and Nayr laugh at Tommy, so O'Neil stiffly tags in Fly. Fly laughs that off and dances his way in, and OBJ decks him. Back to the TFDU corner as the Aussies maintain full control of the match. Gator looks for an early CHOMP, but Fly gets out of the way and bails to the floor... where TCH jumps him. But Nayr flies in with a plancha that takes everyone down. With THA and TCH on the floor, Gator sucker punches Camby, and TFDU and TDB brawl in the ring. Fly rolls back in, but walks right into the TRIPLE SIX~! TDB bails out, but before Gator can make the cover, AA blind tags in. Capps goes for the cover himself, but Gator stops that for principle's sake. AA argues with Gator, and that allows Nayr to tag in. Nayrcanrana to AA - defying gravity - and then a springboard dropkick. But Johnny gets a cheap shot in to allow AA to take over. Capps and Adrenaline get some quick tags working over Nayr, and AA finally gets THE CLAW~! But Gator blind tags himself back in and referee Junior Hale forces AA out. Gator up top... SEAN-TON BOMB~! Cover... one, two... but L.D. Williams appears suddenly at ringside and pulls Gator out of the ring. Williams tries to crawl away without being seen, but OBJ spots him in the aisle, and both he and Gator go after him. But where Williams is, Moose isn't far behind and they brawl at the top of the ramp. Meanwhile, Hale counts TFDU out! Team From Down Under ELIMINATED at 11:32. Johnny hops right in and goes for the cover on Nayr, but Nayr kicks out. Johnny looks for the ADRENALINE RUSH, but Nayr counters with a tornado DDT and desperately tags O'Neil. TO beats JA back into the corner, Irish whip to the other corner, but Tommy misses a charge and Johnny dives to tag in AA. Capps in for the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Cmaby busts that up and knocks AA to the floor. TDB double teams Johnny, but AA slides a chair back in. Camby grabs it and winds up to hit Johnny, but Hale is there grab the chair and toss it aside. AA grabs ANOTHER chair and rolls in, just as Johnny hits the ADRENALINE RUSH on O'Neil. Camby points at Capps, Hale sees AA with the chair, Johnny covering Tommy... and CALLS FOR THE BELL! AA drops the chair and pleads innocent - and is telling the truth. HEELS DON'T TELL THE TRUTH! The Chickenshit Heels ELIMINATED at 16:00. With TCH out of the match Camby drills both Johnny and AA with the chair, but while he looks at hiw work, Fly slips in and schoolboys him! One... two... and Fly grabs a handful of tights just to be sure... THREE! We have an upset. WINNERS in 16:17: THE HALFRICAN AMERICANS.
DONOVAN VIPER vs. CANADIAN DRAGONWell if we're count matches by how long they run for you're gonna be shit out of luck with this one because the match never actually gets going. Dragon is already in the ring as Vipers music hits and he charges to the ring, however he if met by a flying Dragon who soars over the top rope hitting Viper with a beautiful looking corkscrew plancha and taking both men out in the process as they crack skulls. The ref leaves the ring to check on their condition and immediately calls for help from the back when he sees the amount of blood coming from the two unconscious men. Trainers and EMT's stream down the ramp and begin loading both men onto stretchers but Viper begins to come around as he is wheeled towards the back and throws himself back onto the floor. As the trainers move to help him back up he lashes out, pushing CD's passing trolley off the side of the ramp and onto the floor. The shock of the fall seems to have the effect of bringing CD around somewhat and he is just about able to avoid a desperate dive by Viper off the ramp onto him. Blood everywhere from the vicious head wounds the two men begin a savage brawl through the arena whilst constantly being pulled apart and escaping from more EMT's and backstage help . . . as the disappear through the curtain the bell finally rings and the announcers call this one off officially as a no contest.
WINNER in 4:05 – No Contest
WCW vs. KZ & THIM REYNOLDSwCw are already in the ring, when KZ and Thim Reynolds storm down the aisle – but Junior Hale stops them from jumping Wilder, Cap ad JW Westgaard, and start checking them for weapons! Thim looks at Hale indignantly, but lets the ref check. Moosehead Jack and LD Williams looks seriously pissed, but then Moose smiles a sick smile and tosses a set of brass knuckles to the mat, and LD drops what looks like a roll of quarters! Hale says he isn’t done, and starts to check LD William’s boots, and now MHJ and Williams go into intimidation mode, getting Junior to back off…. Thim scoops up the roll of quarters and takes a swing at Cap! Cap ducks the wild punch and chops Thim across the chest as the rest of the grapplers go to their corners. Thim still has the fist load, but Cap is able to stay one step ahead, blocking Thim’s punch and continuing to hit a series of hard chops, turning Thim’s chest beet red and driving the Welshman back to the corner. Thim finally turns the tide by muscling Cap into the corner and hitting a loaded fist to the stomach. He then tosses the roll to the outside as he drives a knee in hard to the gut, and then drags Cap to the KZ corner, tagging in LD Williams. Thim holds Cap open for a kick by LDW, who takes over with an uppercut. LD whips Cap to the ropes, but misses with a clothesline – Cap rebounds off the opposite ropes and connects with a leg lariat, followed up with a drop kick as LD gets to his feet. Cap gets back to his feet to head to the wCw corner, but Moosehead Jack cuts him off with a kick, and drags him back toward the heel corner – this draws in Wilder and Westgaard, but Hales forces them back to their corner, giving KZ the chance to work in some double team rough turnbuckle treatment, and Moosehead Jack tags in. Moose rings Cap’s arm and then clotheslines him to the mat, then stomps right on his nose, grinding the sole of his boot into the IC Champ’s face while taunting the rest of wCw. Cap gets out from under, but his nose is bloody. Moose tears at Cap’s face and eyes, then bites Cap’s forehead, drawing a warning from the referee – holding Cap by the hair, Moose lets the ref know that he has a five count and can do whatever he wants, and then demonstrates by biting Cap’s forehead AGAIN, breaking at 3. Laughing, Moose points out to Junior Hale that he STILL has a 5 count, but Cap interrupts with a jaw-breaker, sweeps both of Moose’s legs, then catapults him into the wCw corner! Cap floats over and tags JW Westgaard! JW starts out by bouncing Moose’s head off the turnbuckle until Junior reaches a 4 count, then he points out that HE has a five count, and bounces Moose’s skull for another 5 count! Thim complains to the ref, and Westgaard shows Thim exactly WHY he’s called “Bird-man!” drawing Reynolds into the ring – Junior Hale escorts him out, giving, JW the chance to yank Moose’s shirt over his head, and pound him like it was center ice! JW tags in Wilder, and whips a still blinded Moosehead Jack to the ropes as Wilder rebounds off the opposite side, JW picks him for a spine buster and Wilder leaps off the middle ropes for a flying forearm smash, driving Moose to the canvas – Clear the Crease! JW rolls clear, Moose gets to his knees and pulls his shirt down, but Wilder jumps off of Moose’s back, and drives a full twisting elbow into MHJ’s spine! Tag to JW Westgaard – double team whip into the wCw corner, Westgaard grabs Wilder for the Irish Whip, but 360 spins and Wilder goes over the top rope in the HEEL CORNER, taking LD Williams and Thim to the floor! Now Capellan races along the apron, and hits a tumbling senton onto Thim as he gets to his feet, and both men crash into the safety rail! JW Westgaard stays on Jack, suplexing him into the middle of the ring. Knee drop by wCw’s power man, who picks Moose up and whips him to the ropes – CROSSCHECK! Westgaard looks for the finish, sets up for The Ice Auger – but Thim reaches in and grabs JW’s leg, and pulls him out of the ring! LD and Wilder are slugging it out, but Tommy isn’t a match for Williams, who drops Wilder with successive haymakers, then mounts him MMA-style and begins raining down elbows. Cap is back to his feet just as Thim rams JWW’s back into the side of the ring, and Cap jumps Thim, and they both go over the rail into the crowd! A bloody Moosehead Jack takes advantage by wrapping his belt around Westgaard’s neck, lifting him off the ground! JW struggles for a second, but is able to get one foot on the apron to relieve the pressure. LD Williams is over, kicks Westgaard’s leg free, and starts hammering him with lefts and rights as he hangs! Cap tries to assist, but gets pulled back over the rail by Thim. Reynolds grabs a chair, but before he can use it, Cap uses the rail as a launching pad, and sends the chair into Thim’s skull, but Cap gets his foot caught up in the chair and crashes to the concrete! JW Westgaard is turning purple, when Tommy Wilder blindsides Williams, sending him face first into the post – before LD can react, Wilder leaps onto the apron, and sidekicks the back of Williams head with a one man DELAMINATOR – blood erupts from LD’s forehead and his slides boneless to the ground – Wilder doesn’t even slow down, and climbs back to the top of the turnbuckle, runs the rope and tries to hurricarana Moose – but MHJ catches him in mid-air with a HEART PUNCH, and Wilder lands hard on the mat – out cold! Moose drags him to center ring, hits a second heart punch and covers – 1 -2 -3
Winners at 20:17 – KZ and Thim Reynolds!
FIRECHILD vs. SPIN HANSEN – Non-Title MatchGavin “Junior” Hale is YOUR referee
Firechild is accompanied by the 3 Piece Set tonight, Spin Hansen is accompanied by Drink and Destroy. Spin is still sporting Morte’s old mask. Firechild makes a couple of gestures to indicate the universal sign for “I burned you with a flamethrower, Spaceballs style”. Spin is not amused, he lunges for Firechild, Firechild laughs as he ducks away. Spin tries again, with much the same result. Firechild smirks as he applies a side headlock. Spin shoves him off, Firechild hits the ropes, still grinning as he goes for a shoulder block- but Spin does not go down He bellows as he takes down Firechild with a clothesline. Picks up Spin, Irish whip, attempted clothesline ducked, Firechild keeps going, but Spin takes off in the opposite direction, both off the ropes, HUGE elbow takes out Firechild Firechild bails to the outside to confer with his fellow Set. Of course this means Drink and Destroy saunter over (by “saunter” I mean “charge as they scream war cries”). EPIC STAREDOWN of EPIC proportions (especially considering Stank and Capslock ZING Nothing personal, this would actually be a much better joke if this featured a certain Al Capps in some way. Can I do something with the name similarities? No, I don’t think so, it’s in there somewhere but I can’t think of it). Firechild climbs back onto the apron, Spin spins around (spinnily), and charges into a knee to the gut. Firechild is up and over with a sunset flip, but Spin won’t go. Spin tries a punch, Firechild slips out, both men get up, and Hollywood and Altrageous both grab one of Spin’s legs and yank, and Spin hits the ground Junior is over to admonish them, so he misses the NOT SO BLATANT fingers to the eyehole of Spin’s mask. A couple more knees to the midsection, and now an Irish whip into an abdominal stretch (this is a strategy, dammit ). Obviously, Spin isn’t ready to quit, he breaks free and hits an inverted atomic drop, drawing a warning from the referee. Spin is fired up, punch to the midsection. Hale starts to say “this is an Onslaught rules...” when Spin hits the EXPOSED HAYMAKER Hale trails off as Spin makes a pin attempt. Cover, one, two, kickout. Spin looking for a suplex attempt, but FC slips out and schoolboys him. One, two, no. Spin charges with a clothesline, but Firechild ducks it, underhooks the arms, spins around and holy cow he’s got Spin set up for the Wings of Phoenix But he’s shoved off by Spin But now Firechild decides to charge BIG MISTAKE Because Spin back body dropped him over the ropes, right onto the Three Piece Set Spin climbs through the ropes to retrieve Firechild. For some reason, the 3 Piece Set pick themselves up and keep their distance. Spin rolls FC back into the ring- NOW the 3 Piece Set attacks Spin is down Drink and Destroy run over to even the odds HUGE BLOODY DEATH BRAWL Spin is just getting up when Firechild delivers a double-axe handle off the apron Did Harris teach him that? Who knows? I certainly don’t Meanwhile, Ax has paired off with Chris Cole, and Stank and Capslock are taking on Harris and Altrageous, respectively. And Firechild takes Spin’s head and bounces it off the apron Once Twice Thrice And he rolls him into the ring, pin, one, two, two and a half Spin starts to get up, Firechild clubs him back down and applies the D-Tuner Spin strains to make the ropes. “Aha ”, shouts Hale. “This is an Onslaught Rules match, and you only get two of those Or was it three?”. Don’t look at me, Hale. Says Firechild. “It’s your job to keep track ”, he continues, as he locks on the D-Tuner again. Spin makes the ropes. Hale is nervous as Firechild re-applies the move. “Ok, that was your second, or maybe your last, or your second last, or... uh...” but he doesn’t have to finish because Spin POWERS OUT sending Firechild flying And Firechild is pissed, charging back. But Spin makes the universal sign for “come and get it, Wimpo McWimpy ”. And Firechild lets out an anguished yell Points to himself, screaming, appealing to the fans But they will never give him respite for his anguish, nay And that’s when Spin points at him. It begins as a guttural cry in his stomach, and forces itself up through Firechild’s vocal cords, until becomes a long, festering, primal scream that burns the soul of every mortal in the building. A scream of rage. Of hate. Of, ultimately, the flames of anger. And then Firechild charges And oh shit goozle from Spin
“You like fire, huh? You’re Firechild, right? You love fire? Well, here comes the Incinerator, bitch ”Falling Chokeslam One, two, three And Spin stands over Firechild’s body
“Well, now punk, you’re officially... In Flames.” Firechild:
That *gurk* band... is... so... *gurgle*... emo. Spin loses it Stomps to Firechild But 3 Piece Set temporarily has the advantage on the outside due to some stalemate breaking cheap tactics And they slide into the ring to get Spin from behind! But Drink and Destroy quickly recovers! Both sides wage a long and bloody war, leading conveniently up the ramp.
WINNER: in 22:11 Spin Hansen
3PIECE SET vs. DRINK & DESTROY – Steel Cage Match for the OOWF World Tag Team TitlesDrink and Destroy are out first, walking the cage’s perimeter and checking its solidity. As they step through the door, the champs make their way into the arena. Hollywood and Altrageous take their time getting to the ring, brandishing the belts and mocking the fans. After a brief conference with Stank, Capslock directs referee Sterling Glaw’s attention to a weak spot in the cage, distracting him as Stank quickly removes the turnbuckle pad in D&D’s corner. Sterling confirms that the cage is, in fact, sound as the champs finally get into the cage. The door is locked, the bell is rung, and we’re off. D&D explode across the ring, leveling both champs with clotheslines and stomping away. D&D maintain control for the first several minutes, until Hollywood and Altrageous hit stereo Greco-roman eyepokes followed by twin field goal kicks to the nether regions (yes, those are Sexy Female Journalists screaming and no, it’s not for Capslock). FFC is first to taste the steel, courtesy of Altrageous. Capslock comes up bleeding…and smiling. He scoops up Altrageous, presses him, and drops him face first on the exposed turnbuckle. Now Altrageous is also bleeding, and he isn’t smiling. Hollywood and Stank exchange punches. Hollywood gets the advantage and throws Stank to the corner, following in with a clothesline. As Stank stumbles out of the corner, Harris tries for a bulldog, but Stank catches him around the waist, spins around, and tosses Hollywood into the cage. Harris lands between the cage and the ropes, and as he gets to his feet, Stank uses him as a modified Bobo doll, with the cage serving to bounce Harris back upright after each punch. Stank appears to be enjoying himself and starts throwing combinations, even managing to work in the Ali shuffle. Stank tries to get cute, however, and attempts a tornado punch, leaving himself open to a spear from Altrageous. Despite the size difference and the blood loss, Alt manages to take Stank off his feet. Following up, however, is a different matter, as Stank is up first and hoists Altrageous for the Stank-U…and drops him to exchange words with Chris Cole and Firechild, who’ve made their way to ringside. Stank turns around into another low blow as Angelo Barros, the referee in charge of the door, orders the other members of 3PS to leave. Cole gets in his face and argues, allowing Firechild to slip the key out of his pocket and unlock the cage. He grabs a chair, but Sterling Glaw looks over before he can slide it into the cage. Firechild leans against the cage door as he argues, keeping Glaw, but not Alt, from noticing it’s unlocked. Security floods ringside at Glaw’s request and forces Cole and FC to the back.
In the ring, Alt still has an advantage over Stank. He delivers a super kick and lunges for the door. Stank catches him before he reaches it and tosses him to the opposite corner. Capslock, meanwhile, is slugging away at Hollywood in another corner, when a female fan holding a “Logic of Suicide Rules!!!” sign waves it frantically to get his attention. When Capslock looks over, she tosses something over the cage into the ring. Capslock picks it up, pops the top, guzzles, then smashes the empty can into Hollywood’s forehead.
Stank hoists Altrageous and calls to Capslock – Pound of Flesh!! They attempt to do the same to Harris but he grabs the top rope as Stank picks him up. Stank tries to pull him away from the ropes but Hollywood hangs on, so Stank simply Stank-U’s him into the cage. Unfortunately, he hits the door, which swings open and allows Hollywood to fall to the outside.
WINNERS - and still OOWF Tag Team Champions, in 32:36 - Three Piece Set.
After the match, Altrageous and Harris grab their titles and head up the ramp and celebrate at the top of the ramp holding the titles high and taunting Drink & Destroy who are seething in the cage. Before they can escape, Donovan Viper runs from the back and slams Altrageous in the back of the head with a forearm, grabs him, and sends him sailing off the stage through a conveniently placed table. He turns and catches a dazed Harris with a sit out choke slam, then gets to his feet and pulls a chain from his tights. Viper wraps it around his elbow, CHAIN DEATH ELBOW ! Right between the eyes! Harris collapse in a heap on the floor, blood spurting from a gash in his forehead. Donovan Viper stands over him for a moment, then dips his fingers in the blood on Harris face and smears it on his face like war paint, then leaves.
CHRIS COLE vs. UNDERDAWG – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchUnderDawg makes his way to the ring, a snarl on his face and rage in his eyes. UD gets in the ring and slowly makes his way to the corner and waits. Chris Cole’s music hits and he struts out to the top of the ramp and pauses to soak up the boos. He takes it all in and slowly takes off his world title and holds it high drawing more boos from the crowd. Cole drapes the belt over his shoulder and heads to the ring. He climbs in between the ropes and hands the title to referee Sterling Glaw, then spins and tries to attack UD in the corner, but UD is waiting for it and moves out of the way and traps Cole in the corner and unloads with a series of rights and lefts that rock Cole. UD pulls him out of the corner and whips him to the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. Cole hits the mat hard, and UD hits the ropes and drops a leg across his chest, and grabs Cole’s arm and tries to lock in a Fujiwara arm bar, Cole screams in pain and scoots to the ropes to force a break. Cole slithers under the bottom rope, but UD leaves the ring and gives chase bouncing Cole’s head off of the guardrail and the Cabo Announce Table. Cole gets some separation with a rake to the eyes and tires to whip UD into the ring post head first, but UD reverses it and sends Cole face first into the steel. UD rolls back into the ring to break the count, but then rolls right back out to go after Cole some more. When he pulls Cole to his feet, the champ had been split open and blood pours from a gash on his head. UD scoops Cole up and slams him on the floor, then drops a knee across his head, opening the gash some more. UD rolls Cole back into the ring and pulls him to a sitting position where he hammers away at the cut, blood flows more freely. Showing a mean streak that we haven’t seen in a long time, UD bites Cole’s forehead, drawing a warning from Glaw. UD grins as Cole’s blood drips down his chin, pulls Cole’s head back and drops several elbows across the gash. UD pulls Cole to his feet and sends him to the ropes, and nearly takes his head off with a boot that sends Cole out of the ring to the floor. Once again, UD turns to hit the opposite ropes and connects inadvertently with Glaw, knocking him down. UD hesitates for a moment, then hits the ropes and leaps over the top rope and nearly decapitates a horribly bloody Cole with a clothesline. As UD gets to his feet, the rest of 3Piece Set stagger to ring side still showing the effects of the match and beating from Viper. Alt and Harris are met with shots to the head, but Firechild manages to blindside Dawg with a chair! Harris quickly hits the TO BE EDITED IN LATER on the floor, and now Dawg is bleeding heavily. Altrageous and Harris set up for a con-chair-to when Drink & Destroy rush the ring, they brawl with Alt and Harris and get the upper hand, then turn toward Firechild, he turns to run away and live to fight another day, but when he does, he runs right into Spin Hansen, who came through the crowd. Hansen delivers a wicked spine buster on the floor that appears to knock FC cold. UD is back on his feet, he grabs Cole and rolls him under the ropes and follows him back into the ring. UD checks and sees the referee is still down, so he goozles Cole and choke slams him straight to hell! Instead of waking up the referee for the pin, Dawg gets an evil look on his face and grabs a barely conscious Cole and pulls him to his feet. He lifts Cole and sets him up for the Last Ride, then throws him OUT OF THE RING THROUG THE CABO ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! OH MY GOD CHRIS COLE IS DEAD! Before Dawg can do anything, Ax-Man slowly makes his way to ringside. He just stops about mid way down the ramp and watches. He and Dawg lock eyes, and a minute later, Thim Reynolds walks out too. He and Ax glare at each other, and both men look at UD. Dawg snarls and his eyes roll into the back of his head and….the bell rings? While UD was preoccupied with Ax and Thim, the referee came back around and counted out the unconscious Chris Cole! UnderDawg wins by countout!
WINNER in 13:09 – by count out – UnderDawg
Glaw goes to raise UD’s hand but he grabs Glaw and chokeslams him. We fade to black with shots of Thim glaring at Ax and Dawg, and both men returning suspicious stares, and the OOWF world champion Chris Cole, bloody and unconscious in the wreck of the table.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Call To Arms PPV, Live November 26th from TBD! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem November 22nd, Live from Blanco Trading Post, NM!
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Black-Mad-Tar-Jack-Attitude-Jodrell-Crete-Ryan-Spin-FF-Volt Production Company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.[Edited on 11-16-2006 by mooseheadjack]
SECURITY!! SECURITY!!!