OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Buenos Aries, Argentina
LOS DEFENESTRATORS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOSThe bell gets us underway. Phantos is in the ring, ready to start, but both Ecosistema and El Voltaje are on the apron, still arguing over who should begin the match. Eco wants it to be El Voltaje. "Little guys first. Classic tag team strategy." But V appears less than thrilled with the little guy appellation and is having nothing to do with it. Even three rounds of Rock Paper Scissors can't break the deadlock. Eventually Phantos gets tired of waiting, dodges past the Referee, and forearms Eco in the face. El Voltaje swings back at him, but Phantos dodges and beckons him into the ring. El Voltaje follows, then suddenly realizes what he's done and pounds on the turnbuckle in annoyance. Meanwhile, Eco hops back onto apron and taps the side of his head. Like getting his face caved in by Phantos was merely his clever plan to trick V into starting out. Lock-up, and El Voltaje gets the arm and applies a hammerlock. Phantos with the attempted reversal, but V pokes him in the eyes halfway through and slaps on a front face lock instead. Punches to the gut eventually force him to break the hold, but he immediately whips Phantos into the ropes and shoulder blocks him off his feet as he rebounds. Voltaje struts to the crowd's roars, then turns around into an almighty bitch slap from the furious Phantos. V drops like he's been hit with Sweet Lady Sledge, and bails to the outside. Conference with Eco on the floor. Phantos goes up the turnbuckle, but Los Defenestrators see it and scuttle out of the way. They gloat about this for a few seconds, but Lucios has snuck into ambush position and surprises El Voltaje with clubbing forearms. The ref slides out to yell at all three men on the floor. He's just about got them separated when Phantos launches himself in a plancha. Voltaje sees it at the last moment, tries to get out of the way, and ends up tangled with the official. Plancha hits! The REF IS DEAD~! Voltaje doesn't look too hot either. Phantos to his feet, and he and Lucios drive Eco against the barrier with double team forearms, then roll him back inside. Two man beat down sequence. Eco hits a couple of hope spots, to big roars from the crowd, but it's mainly an excuse for P & L to showcase their crisp tag work and a couple of preliminary double-teams. Every time Eco starts a comeback, the numbers game catches up with him. Eventually they set him up for the Dropkick Device. Eco's going to die! But no! El Voltaje with the save! He's finally recovered enough to re-enter the match, and does so in fine style by launching Phantos off the turnbuckle to the mat. Eco squirms out from Lucios's grasp and the crowd bellows at the thought of some Los Defenestrators double team payback. Which of course is when the ref comes around and slides in to pull them off Lucios. As far as the official's concerned, this match is still El Voltaje vs. Phantos. He directs Lucios to the apron, then turns to do the same to Eco, despite Los Defenestrators complaints. While the ref's back is turned Phantos rolls out. Lucios slides in and lays face down, pretending to be his fallen partner. What do you mean they look nothing alike? That never stopped the Bashams! Voltaje heads over to apply the pin, and walks straight into a surprise Death grip! He fights it and tries to make the ropes, but Lucios uses his size and weight to block him. Eco comes in to make the save, but is intercepted halfway across the ring by a springboard dropkick from Phantos! Eco is out! Lucios hauls Voltaje up. Combination Power Bomb and Top Rope Leg drop! This one is OVER~!
WINNERS in 11:50 – Phantos and Lucios!
KENJI & KNIFE vs. APOCALYPTIC BASTARDSThe lights fade. The crowd goes quiet, waiting for the inevitable video package. As always, the OOWF-Tron obliges.
Generic wrestling music plays as some of the Apocalyptic Bastards numerous defeats play across the screen. The screen flashes to SYB and Apocalyptic Existence confronting SYB and asking if he wants to be a joke forever. Black and white flashes of the next few week pass by - the injections, the breaking of SYB’s arm, the arrival of Hellion and Predator, the plans of the attacks on Kenji and Knife, the violent defeats of Kenji and Knife in the ring, Knife abandoning his training for his newfound religion, the infighting between Kenji and Knife. Scene cuts to Rick agreeing to give Apocalyptic Existence a Money In The Bank Tag Title shot if they win their first match back. The video packages closes with AE’s voice over “Do you want to be a joke forever?”
Off goes a PYRO! Multiple explosions circle around the ring and work their way back to a blinding explosion! Loud music hits, and AE and SYB walk down the ring, flanked by Hellion and Predator. AE and SYB slide under the ropes and take off their coats to reveal bodies much different than the crowd has seen last. SYB flexes his now HHH like biceps.
Announcer 1: Did I just hear women scream?
Announcer 2: I think so.
A1: For SYB?
A2: The Apocalypse is near! SYB waves his arms to the crowd. Ragged cheers start up here and there. AE climbs the ropes and poses for the crowd. Totally confused, half the crowd starts cheering, because wrestling crowds do that when wrestlers pose.
AE grabs a mike.
AE: Kenji! Knife! For the past few months you’ve been dancing to our tune! We’ve orchestrated everything you’ve gone through! Everything has led to this – to tonight! Our return! We’re bigger, stronger, faster and better than we’ve ever been! Our reign begins tonight, and it begins on your backs! Come out, and prepare to be defeated! AE tosses the microphone to the ring announcer and steps back. Asian flute music plays as Kenji and Knife step to the top of the ramp. Knife gives a slow, sarcastic clap and speaks into a microphone.
Knife: Welcome back, you two. Things just haven’t been the same without our favorite jobbers. Before you break your arm patting yourself on the back, I’d like to introduce you to someone. Knife motions, and a figure steps out onto the ramp. The crowd goes ballistic as they recognize a Spartan!
Knife: Yes! Even though they’ve jumped the shark, we had one or two stay around! They spied on your for us and reported back exactly what you were doing! The Spartan reaches behind the stage and pulls out a bound and gagged Moonraven. He knocks her down and pushes her down the ramp, where she rolls a few feet before stopping.
Knife: And here is your precious accomplice! Yes, we knew everything that was going on! The infighting between Kenji and me, the lack of training on my part, the losses in my matches – all those were part of OUR plan to sucker YOU in! You see, we also made a deal with the Rick! If we win this match, we are the ones who get the Money In The Bank Shot! Knife drops the mike as he and Kenji run towards the ring. The bell dings, and it’s ON!
Pier Four brawl to start as all four men attack! AE launches himself at Kenji, who uses the momentum to toss AE in a monkey flip. AE quickly lands on his feet and shoulder tackles Kenji. Knife throws a stab kick at SYB, who blocks! and kicks Knife’s legs out from under him. As knife goes down SYB throws an open fist and connects with Knife’s face. Knife stands up, wipes the blood from his mouth and smiles. He runs towards SYB and changes direction at the last section, taking out AE from behind at the knees. AE falls backward as Kenji leaps over AE and takes out SYB with a flying side kick! Both sides regroup to their respective sides of the ring. The referee calls for order, but neither side is having any of it. Knife and AE lock up for some chain wrestling. After 30 seconds AE kicks Knife in the family jewels, picks him up and throws him into Kenji. AE climbs the ropes, beats his chest toward the crowd and does a 360 splash off the top rope onto Knife! SYB grabs Kenji by the hair and rams his face into the turnbuckle four times, then throws Kenji back dismissively. Kenji and Knife groggily regroup in the center of the ring as SYB and AE pose for the crowd. As Kenji and Knife stand SYB and AE close in. Kenji snaps high kick to the face of SYB. SYB blocks, but the kick was a fake! as Kenji drops to his knee and sweeps SYB’s leg out from under him. Knife uses Kenji’s back as a springboard and comes down knee first on SYB’s chest. AE screams and hits Kenji with a clothesline. As Kenji falls AE barrels through towards Knife, who ducks the clothesline and launches a kick to the back of AE’s skull. Kick connects, and down goes AE. The ref again attempts to restore order, and again no one listens. Both sides launch at each other again. Kenji hits a crescent kick on AE. AE is pushed back, and then makes a flying neck tackle on Knife, who was trading blows with SYB. Somewhere during all this the ref got knocked unconscious. Seeing their opportunity, Hellion and Predator enter the ring. Out numbered four to two, Knife and Kenji slide under the ropes and duck under the ring. Hellion and SYB go to follow, when Kenji and Knife come out on the opposite side of the ring, with Knife carrying a pair of sais and Kenji a staff. Up into the ring they come, and Knife lets fly with a sai! Which strikes Predator! Predator screams and goes down, with the blade sticking out of his shoulder. AE ducks as the staff comes swinging at his head, but is unable to dodge the follow up downward strike. The sound of wood hitting meat echoes throughout the arena, and somewhere MHJ smiles. SYB and Hellion enter the ring armed with chairs, and the four prepare to square off. The bell has been ringing madly but everyone has been ignoring it. Refs flood the ring to separate the combatants. Rick appears on the OOWF-tron, red in the face.
Rick: What the hell is going on? This is supposed to be a wrestling match, not a street fight! All four of you are disqualified! Now get the hell out of my ring! The crowd boos! Loudly! And begins to toss food at Rick’s picture!
Rick: What the --? Fine! You want to see these guys fight?
Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Rick: At the next PPV! These four! I’m not sure what it will be, but it will be bloody! The crowd erupts in cheers!
WINNERS - Double Disqualification at 25:41
CHRIS COLE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – Falls Count Anywhere, No DQ MatchBoth men go nose to nose in the middle of the ring, as the referee explains the rules. Cole is talking a pile of trash to Moreland, who just grins cockily back at him. Cole ramps up the trash, this time with non-PG14 gestures. Moreland just laughs. Cole snaps and slaps Moreland across the face. Moreland rides the blow and straightens up, now laughing openly. Cole backhands him across the other side of the face, and Moreland again straightens up, but comes back swinging and hits Cole with a southpaw sucker punch. Cole staggers back and Moreland is on him with a spear and follows up with punches. Moreland disengages and rolls out of the ring and goes looking for something. Cole clears the cobwebs in the ring, his right brow & cheek starting to swell with the beginning of a shining black eye. Moreland appears at the side of the ring, brandishing a chair, wrapped in barbed wire – he’s taking it hardcore right from the start. Moreland slides into the ring with the chair and advances on Cole, now propped up in the corner. Cole pleads for Moreland to stop, but Davin raises the chair high, and Cole low blows him. Davin staggers back, but doesn’t drop the chair so the Main Event drop toeholds him face first into the turnbuckle. Cole stands and collects Moreland’s dropped chair, and nails him with a HUGE blow across the back, the barbed wire ripping Moreland’s flesh apart, and the blood begins to flow. Cole raises the chair to acclaim the derision of the crowd, but Moreland is made of tougher stuff and kicked backwards, taking one of Cole’s legs out, and gets to his feet. Cole is on his knee’s holding his left knee as Moreland gets to his feet. He males a wild swing with the chair, but Moreland kicks it away and nails Cole with a brutal kick to the face. Moreland grabs Cole’s leg and locks in a Figure Four leg lock. Cole screams as his recently injured leg is torqued beyond the point of pain, and Moreland grins in grim determination as he racks back the hold. Cole grabs the ropes but it’s No DQ, so the ref can’t tell Moreland to break. Cole is desperate and drags himself, and Moreland out of the ring, and they tumble to ringside. Both men are dazed by the drop and drag themselves to their feet. Moreland is still the more sprightly and dives at Cole, but Cole draws himself up and catches Moreland, spins him round and down with a vicious spine buster onto the ring steps. As the hollow clang of the contact echoes around the arena, Cole looks under the ring and draws out a sledgehammer. He strokes it lovingly as Moreland drags himself to his feet, as Moreland gets upright, Cole drills him in the midriff with the hammer. Moreland crumples to his feet and Cole raises the hammer high, then winces as he puts weight on his knee. Cole decides that a little revenge is in order, and casually drops the hammer across Moreland’s leg. Moreland screams in agony and Cole drags him away from the ring and, using the sledgehammer for leverage, hooks Davin in a Super Indian Death Lock. Davin screams in genuine agony each time Cole stands and ratchets up the hold once again. In the end, Davin can’t hold out anymore and taps to the Death Lock. Cole gets up, and spits on him contemptuously as he marches (still favoring the knee) into the ring. Hr grabs the mike from the ring announcer, as he is announcing him the winner.
CC: “Yeah that’s damn right, the winner is me, the Main Event, Chris Cole – your RIGHTFUL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion! And what’s more…”
Cole looks confused as his mike cuts out, and he sees GM the Rick coming out onstage.
GMtR: “Actually Chris, no. You’re not the rightful OOWF Champion, and you’re not the winner of this match.”
Cole mouths an argument at the GM, but his mike is still switched off.
GMtR: “Why? Why you ask? Because I damn well say so, because you’re a stain, a disgrace and a worm. That and apart from anything else, this is a Falls Count Anywhere match, not a submissions count anywhere match, so I say this match starts again. Now.” Cole has walked right across to the apron to shout obscenities at the GM, not noticing that Davin has entered the ring behind him, and reclaimed the barbed wire chair. Cole takes a wicked blow across the back and turns round in shock to take another one to the face. Cole’s back and head gush with a crimson torrent, getting in his eyes and Cole is staggered against the ropes. Moreland knuckles up, and takes all the weight on his injured leg to bounce off the far ropes as Cole staggers blindly into the middle of the ring and Moreland nails him with a Really Good Diamond Cutter, and covers, hooking Cole’s good leg, and the ref counts 1-2-3 – Moreland wins!
WINNER in 11:18, via pin-fall is DAVIN MORELAND
Moreland has to be helped to his feet by the referee, but is clearly elated by his win, Cole on the other hand rolls onto his front and aims a look of sheer hatred at the GM on the stage, who smirks and then walks off.
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. DONOVAN VIPERTriple lockup to start things, but AA manages to wiggle free and bails to the floor. Dragon and Viper go at it, with DV backing CD to a corner. Clean break, but Dragon shoots low and gets a rollup for two. Dragon pops up, as does Viper, but AA nails DV from behind, and Dragon and AA stomp away at him. AA tries to sucker punch Dragon, but CD catches his hand, gets a judo takeover and tries to lock on the SHARPSHOOTER~! AA fights against the hold, but just before Dragon can turn it over, Viper drops him with a jumping shoulder block. AA schoolboys Viper, but Viper counters that by rolling thru it and trying to lock on a cross face chicken wing. AA grabs the ropes to break it with no harm done. Both guys up, but Dragon flies in with a spinning heel kick that takes both guys down. Dragon with some stiff soccer kicks to both guys and a Majistral Cradle on AA gets a two count. Viper grabs Dragon for a tiger suplex, but CD blocks it. As they struggle, AA knocks both guys to the floor. AA grabs the ropes and looks to springboard over... but AA thinks better of it and just sits on the turnbuckle to kill time. Viper sends Dragon to the rail, and AA turns and jumps off the middle rope with a double axe handle to the back of Viper's head. AA tosses Viper in and looks for the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT~! Viper blocks though and tries the SIDEWINDER~! AA blocks that with a shot to the "lower abdominal region" and hits a German suplex. AA bridges for the cover... one, two... but Dragon comes off the top with a guillotine leg drop to break it up. Enziguri for AA, running knee lift for Viper, then a shining wizard to the back of AA's head that knocks him out of the ring. Dragon turns back into a spine buster attempt by Viper, but Dragon rolls over the top for a sunset flip! One, two, but Viper kicks out. Both guys up and Dragon sweeps the legs out, then blatantly stomps Viper in the nuts. Lionsault for the cover. One, two, but AA breaks it up. Dragon goes to AA's eyes and sets up for the CANADIAN DESTROYER~! But as Dragon starts to flip over, Viper dropkicks him right in the face. DV rolls Caps up. One, two, but AA kicks out. Viper tries the old DEATH ELBOW~! But AA ducks it and slaps on THE CLAW~! Viper does a great sell job and Capps has him in the middle of the ring. Viper breaks it though and gets a nice T-Bone overhead slam. One, two, and AA kicks out again. Viper drags AA up, and Dragon comes in with Air Pillman, but Viper moves and Dragon clotheslines AA back down. Dragon sets AA on the top rope for a superplex. But before Dragon can complete the move, Viper comes from behind and lifts him onto his shoulders. Dragon tries to punch his way down, but Viper tosses him onto the top rope... at the same moment AA was trying to get his balance, so AA's groin takes a nice blow in the corner. Viper grabs Dragon and sends him to the ropes. Dragon ducks a clothesline, then baseball slides underneath Viper. Viper goes to the ropes, Dragon leapfrogs and looks for a monkey flip, but Viper just falls on him for a cover. One, two, and Dragon kicks out. Both guys up, both guys to the ropes, and they both look for a jumping clothesline, but their heads collide in a sickening thud. The shot sends Dragon all the way out of the ring as Viper falls in the ring. AA just comes out of the corner with a big splash onto Viper. One, two, three!! We have an upset.
WINNER in 10:08: ATTITUDE ADJUSTER
UNDERDAWG vs. OUTBACK JACKOutback Jack is out first. He collects a beer from Wally B. King and leans in the corner as the lights go out.
Bong…
Bong…
Bark!
Underdawg slowly makes his way to the ring as Jack drinks his beer. Apparently the intimidation isn’t working. Underdawg brings up the house lights and gets in the ring, standing toe to toe with Jack as referee Mel Creech gives his instructions. The bell rings and neither man moves. They stare one another down until Jack lets out a monstrous belch. Underdawg responds with a haymaker and it’s on! Underdawg drives Jack back to the corner with right hands, then hits a series of elbows to the face. He whips Jack to the opposite corner and follows him in, but Jack moves out of the way and catches him with a punch to the kidneys. Jack drives his shoulder into Underdawg’s back several times, then spins him around and staggers him with a European uppercut. Jack drives a knee into Underdawg’s midsection, then takes him over with a suplex. He stomps away, then comes off the ropes with a leg drop. Jack covers, but Underdawg kicks out at one.
Underdawg starts to get up, just in time to eat a knee to the face from Jack. Jack continues the assault with punches, but can’t keep the bigger man down. Underdawg makes it to his feet and goozles Jack, who responds with a swift kick to the nether regions (conveniently missed by Mel). Underdawg pales, but doesn’t release the hold. He tightens his grip on Jack’s neck, picks him up, and drives him to the mat with a choke slam. It takes Underdawg a minute to cover, and Jack kicks out at two. Both men get to their feet. Underdawg gets the better of an exchange of punches, and slams Jack to the mat. He comes off the ropes with a leg drop of his own, but doesn’t make a cover. He picks Jack up and backs him into the corner, rocking him with punches. Jack reverses an Irish whip, but Underdawg re-reverses and crushes him with a clothesline. Jack stumbles out of the corner and Underdawg hits a kick to the head that sends him through the ropes. Underdawg follows him to the outside. Underdawg drives Jack’s spine into the ring post and whips him into the guardrail. He moves in, and Jack catches him with a punch to the stomach and DDT’s him on the floor. Jack slams Underdawg’s head into the ring steps and drags him around the ring. Underdawg breaks free and scoops Jack up, power slamming him through the Australian announce table. Underdawg pulls Jack to his feet and stuffs him into the ring. He picks him up for the Fireplug driver, but Jack struggles and manages to slide off behind him. He catches Underdawg’s neck and hits a reverse DDT. He covers, but only gets two. Jack hits the ropes and, as Underdawg gets up, nails him with the boomerang. He covers and this time gets three.
WINNER in 17:145, Outback Jack
LD WILLIAMS vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. CAPELLANAll three are in the ring, with Johnny warily eyeing both men. Johnny sees the potential 2-on-1 disadvantage and slides out of the ring. Cap and LDW look at each other, look at JA, then look back at each other. Looks like we’re going to have a Mutual Respect Lockup! The faces lock up, and instantly Johnny slides into the ring and reigns down punches on both men. JA has both men beat down, but LD comes back with a series of right, and Capellan follows. JA goes down fast (wait, this isn’t Viper’s match…) and slides back out of the ring. Capellan follows and chases JA around ringside. LD rolls out the other side. JA nearly runs into an LDW clothesline but ducks. Capellan, however, doesn’t see it and is KILLED by LDW’s clothesline! LDW stands over Cap, and doesn’t see JA behind him. JA shoves LDW head-first into the ring post, then rolls Cap into the ring. Quick cover, one, two, NO. Adrenaline pummels Cap in the head with rights, then whips Cap into the ropes. Nice dropkick by Adrenaline! Another whip to the ropes, Cap stops himself as Johnny tries the backdrop. Capellan grabs Johnny by the hair and whips him to the canvas! Spinning leg drop! Cover, one, two, NO. Cap rushes to the ropes, but tripped up by LDW! LDW rolls into the ring and attacks Johnny, then grabs a front face lock. Capellan gives LDW the “Whazupwitdat?” look, and LDW points to attack JA. Cap thinks for a second while LDW holds JA open. Cap rushes to the ropes and NAILS JA with a low dropkick to the face! LDW gives Cap the thumbs up, and Cap goes back to the ropes. Another low dropkick coming—AT LDW! Cap goes for the pin on LDW, One, two, NO! JA powders out, and Cap goes all ju-jitzu and 17 other Japanese words on LDW. Cap hits the Face First Russian Leg sweep and goes for the pin, but JA pulls Cap out of the ring. Cap and JA start throwing punches at each other outside the ring. LDW recovers, watches both of them and climbs to the top rope. If Bubba Ray can fly, so can LD Williams! Big Man Flying Splash! All three men are down at ringside! Somehow Johnny gets up first, rolls into the ring and demands a count out. But LDW is up pretty quickly and gets back into the ring. LDW and JA go into stare down mode, and now they’re talking some serious smack. Uh, oh. I think JA just said something about LD’s momma. You don’t talk smack about LD’s momma! But we’ll never know, because Capellan recovered and went to the top rope. Flying Double Dropkick! LD powders out, and Cap and JA are on the mat. Cap crawls over for the I Can Barely Reach My Opponent Arm Drape. One, two, SHOULDER UP by JA! Cap argues with the ref over whether it was a 3-count (like the ref ever changes his mind—Oh, you’re right, Cap. The match IS over.), and that gives LDW a chance to get back in the ring. Cap goes outside and slowly crawls up the top rope. He’s so slow that LDW comes into the ring, picks up Johnny and DDTs him hard to the mat at the same moment that Cap comes flying off the ropes with a Spinning Dragon Kick! No one home for Capellan! Cap lands awkwardly, and for some reason (well, LDW is a face), LDW goes for Capellan rather than JA. LDW locks on the STF! Cap’s hand is in the air ready to submit, but Johnny comes back for the save! Johnny tosses a dazed LDW over the top rope, then quickly locks the STF back on Capellan! Capellan is already worn down by LDW! This isn’t right! LDW is slowly getting to his feet and Capellan tries to reach the ropes. But just as LDW crawls into the ring, Cap taps out!
WINNER in 12:22, Johnny Adrenaline!
Adrenaline quickly breaks the hold and scoots out the other side of the ring, pointing to his head that he’s smarter than LD. LD tries to help Capellan, but Capellan brushes off LD and rolls out of the ring as well.
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. JASON SHAPIRO – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchHarris starts off the match quickly with a knee to the gut, followed by a forearms to the back. Shapiro may be overwhelmed here, as Harris whips him to the ropes and catches him in a vertical suplex. One, two, but Shapiro gets a leg up. Shapiro is whipped into the corner, but gets a boot up. Harris comes back quickly with an elbow to the face, drawing a warning from... Mel Creech, I think. Some kicks to the midsection in the corner, then an Irish whip, which is reversed, sending Harris into the corner, and Shapiro comes running in. Harris comes out of the corner with a clothesline, but Shapiro slides under it to the floor. He hops to the apron and swings over the ropes, taking Harris down with a tilting head scissors. Harris looks to regroup on the outside of the ring, but Shapiro charges through the ropes with a suicide dive which sends Harris into the guardrail. Shapiro rolls Harris into the ring, and covers for a two count. Shapiro complains to the ref, allowing Harris time to get to one knee, and as Shapiro turns back, Harris lunges for the takedown and a quick elbow drop to the midsection. Harris shouts “this one’s for Nicole!” (because that was hilarious) and stomps Shapiro a couple of times, before going for the pin fall. One, two, two and a half (oddly enough, this takes longer to pronounce than three) but no dice as Shapiro kicks out. Harris grins, and the announcers jump over themselves to remind themselves of the OMG ANGLE~! that Harris wants a good wrestling match. Shapiro jumps over himself to punch Harris in the groin. Online Onslaught Peculiar Homosexuality Related Phrase #1,785! Shapiro sets Harris up for a leaping pile driver! Harris reverses this into his own pile driver! (This is actually possible). One To Be Edited In Later later and Harris is STILL the OOWF Onslaught Champion.
WINNER in 6:14 – Hardbody Harris
THE HEROES GUILD vs. STANK, SPIN HANSEN & MOOSEHEAD JACKDrink & Destroy come to the ring first, Moosehead Jack trails behind them both. Stank and Spin climb to the second rope and pose for the crowd to a mixed response. Jack slumps in the corner and laughs at fans in the front row. The Heroes Guild come to the top of the ramp and assemble, Concrete TG, Nayr and Firechild stand defiantly and make their way to the ring as a unit. The Heroes climb into the ring and pose, Firechild and Stank go nose to nose, Spin and Nayr begin jawing with each other, and Crete walks toward Jack, who is still slumped in the corner and glares at him. Crete slowly takes off his title and holds it high in the air. Jack gets to his feet and gets nose to nose with Crete and just laughs and walks away. Jack leaves the ring and waits on the apron, leaving Crete standing in the center of the ring. The referee gets the remaining men sorted out and it looks like it will be Nayr and Stank starting things off. Nayr sprints from rope to rope zipping past Stank several times, Stank finally gets tired of waiting and steps in front of Nayr. Nayr slams into Stank’s shoulder and falls to the mat hard. Stank looks down and tries dropping an elbow, but Nayr rolls out of the way and kips up to his feet. Nayr hits the ropes and catches Stank with a clothesline just as he gets to his feet, Stank staggers but doesn’t go down. Nayr hits the ropes again and lands another clothesline, but once again does not go down. Finally Nayr tries a third clothesline, but Stank catches him and lands a black hole slam. Stank grabs Nayr’s arm and drags him over to their corner and tags in Spin. Spin comes in and lands a couple of stiff kicks into Nayr’s midsection, then sends him to the ropes and catches him with a wicked spine buster. Spin covers, and gets a two count, but it is broken up by Firechild. Spin pulls Nayr back to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a second too soon and Nayr leaps on Spin’s back and leaps toward the Hero’s corner and makes the tag to Firechild. Firechild charges into the ring and he and Spin trade shots to the head in the center of the ring. Firechild gets a knee to the mid section and hits the ropes and catches Spin with a forearm to the head. Stank staggers and Firechild catches him with a drop kick to the knee, then a running knee lift that sends Spin to the mat. Firechild leaves the ring and catapults himself into the ring and drops a leg across Spin’s chest, covers, and gets a two count. Firechild pulls pin to his feet and lifts him and nails an atomic drop, then hits the ropes and snaps off a perfect head scissors. Spin rolls to his corner and gets to his feet and makes the reluctant tag to Moose. Moose climbs between the ropes and meets Firechild in the center of the ring, Firechild slowly moves backward toward Crete intending to make the tag, Jack smirks, then attacks Firechild before he makes the tag, nailing him in the head with a forearm, then spinning him around and dropping him with a DDT. Moose gets to his feet and glares at Crete, Crete takes a half hearted swipe at Moose, Moose steps back and gets rolled up from behind by Firechild for a two count. Firehild pulls Moose to his feet and lines him up for a super kick, but Moose holds on to the top rope and slides out to the floor. Firechild gets a running start and leaps over the top rope, but Moose moves out of the way and Firechild crashes and burns on the floor. Moose shoots Firechild back into the ring and crawls in and tags Stank. Stank charges in and pulls Firechild to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon, Firechild kicks him in the chest and makes the tag to Crete. Crete comes into the ring and Stank stands up and the two of them go nose to nose. The argument gets heated and they throw down, hammering each other with rights and lefts. This brings the other men into the ring, and folks, we have a pier six! Firechild comes in and hammers Moose, Nayr gets trapped in the corner with Spin, Spin beats him down to the mat. Firechild rushes over and pulls Spin off of Nayr and tries a clothesline, but Spin ducks and catches Firechild with a spinning heel kick that sends him between the ropes to the floor. Meanwhile Nayr is on his feet and climbs to the top rope and leaps and snaps off a hurracarana on Spin that takes them both out of the ring. Inside the ring, Crete has Stank down on one knee and calls for the Cement Mixer! From behind, Moose reaches into his pocket and wraps a chain around his fist, Firechild sees this from the outside and grabs a chair and slips into the ring and slams Moose in the face with the chair, the referee somehow missed the chair shot. Crete and Stank continue to brawl, and Firechild covers Moose. For whatever reason, the referee decides to count the pin amid the chaos before it completely breaks down and results in a no contest. Firechild hooks both legs and just barely gets a three count.
WINNERS in 28:41 – The Heroes Guild
Moose sits slumped in the corner, bleeding from the shot by the chair, Stank and Spin both slide back into the ring and look at Jack, and then the chair. Firechild and Nayr celebrate the victory on the outside, Crete joins them, a little skeptical at first, then he raises his arms in victory as well. Jack snarls at the three, then grins. Stank and Spin walk to the ropes and demand that the Heroes get back into the ring, but the Heroes turn to the crowd and slap hands and celebrate their victory.
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