OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Xui, Uruguay
JW WESTGAARD vs. “THE URUGUYAN SUBMISSION MACHINE” URUGUAY JIMUruguay Jim is a local worker who is well known for his prowess in submission moves. He has his work cut out for him tonight, as he faces JW Westgaard, who is making his return to the OOWF. Uruguay Jim comes to the ring first and waits, Westgaard’s music hits and he comes to the ring to the roar of the crowd. Westgaard and Jim meet in the center of the ring, Jim sneers and slaps Westgaard across the face, Westgaard smiles and wipes a trickle of blood from his mouth, then catches UJ right between the eyes with a head but that staggers the big man, Westgaard hits the ropes and catches Jim with a clothesline that sends him to one knee. Westgaard hits the ropes again and tries another clothesline, but UJ gets to his feet and catches JWW with a thrust to the throat. UJ pulls Westgaard to his feet and shoves him back into the corner, then closes in and lands a couple of shots to the side of Westgaard’s head. This only serves to wake Westgaard up and he comes out firing, the two men go toe to toe, along the ropes, across the ring, Westgaard hammers away. Since they don’t play hockey in Uruguay, Jim seems a bit out of his league. Westgaard drops him with a straight punch to the face, that draws a warning from the referee. Westgaard pushes the referee aside and goes after Jim, kicks him in the mid section, then hauls him up in a vertical suplex, then drops him on the top rope. Westgaard climbs to the second rope and leaps dropping an elbow across the back of his head. UJ falls back into the ring, Westgaard turns and talks to the referee for a moment, and while he has the referee distracted, he connects with a kick to the face as UJ is getting to his feet. Westgaard pulls UJ up and sends him to the ropes and tries a hip toss, but UJ blocks it and connects with a clothesline. UJ gets his bearings back and pulls JWW to a sitting position and locks on the devastating Uruguayan Death Nerve Hold! Westgaard starts to fade, then gets to his feet and fights out of it. UJ lands a shot to the head and once again shoves Westgaard to the corner, then charges into the corner, but Westgaard moves out of the way and UJ slams chest first into the corner, as he staggers backward, Westgaard grabs him and hits a release German suplex! Westgaard pumps the crowd and waits for UJ to get to his feet, then hits the CROSS CHECK!! Westgaard gets to his feet, hauls UJ up, ICE AUGER!! Westgaard covers, one, two, three, this one is over, welcome back JW Westgaard!
WINNER in 5:04 – JW Westgaard
KENJI vs. SYB SYB, accompanied by AE, walks down to the ring. Suddenly, out of the crowd explodes Kenji! He launches himself at SYB and begins pounding away! AE attempts to pull Kenji off, but Knife leaps out of the stands and axe handles AE across the back of the neck! Pier Six, no, Pier Four brawl on the entrance ramp! The ref vainly tries to wave Kenji and SYB to the ring. They’re too busy attacking one another. He shrugs, and signals for the bell to ring. The ref then tries to separate Knife and AE, yelling that their match comes next. Knife and AE continue to brawl, so the ref shrugs and rings the bell again.
KNIFE vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE Announcer 1: Oh my gosh! We have two matches going on simultaneously! Feel the excitement!
Announcer 2: So?
Announcer 1: This has never happened before!
Announcer 2: Wake me when two chicks start making out. In the ring, SYB and Kenji exchange strikes. SYB, due to his new Benoit-like physique, is landing some real haymakers. Kenji calls upon his powers of Asianness and flips out of the way. Out on the landing AE and Knife go toe-to-toe, exchanging punch after punch.
Back in the ring Kenji flips into the rope and uses it to perform a RABBXT FLIP! onto SYB’s shoulders and performs a hurricarana! SYB goes flying into the ring post but quickly shakes it off. AE and Knife move through the crowd. AE picks up a spectator and throws her at Knife. Knife ducks and sneaks a quick up-the-skirt peek. The woman crashes into a group of guys, who catch her, decide her breast size is too small and toss her back. SYB slides into Kenji’s ankles, knocks him down and does three suplexes! Kenji wobbles away on legs made of jelly. SYB throws back his head and laughs.
Meanwhile, in the crowd, AE has ripped a seat loose and is beating Knife across the back. Knife reaches over, grabs a 32 oz. pop that is miraculously unspilled, and THROWS IT INTO AE’S EYES! Since this is wrestling, AE screams and acts like he’s had hydrochloric acid thrown in his face instead of Coke. SYB grabs Kenji by the hair and pulls him up. Up also comes Kenji’s knee, right into SYB’s jewels. SYB goes down, clutching himself in agony. Kenji drops an elbow on SYB, then another, then another. SYB convulses like the Rock. AE is wildly swinging. Knife asks a beefy jock wanna-be if he got his mom a mother’s day gift this year. The jock says no, so Knife pushes him right into AE’s reach. AE clocks the jock and, thinking he’s hit Knife, keeps on hitting the jock. Knife sneaks up behind AE and does the hematite back cracker! AE goes down! Knife pins! The ref, seeing what is happening, does the count 1-2-3!
WINNER in 6:04 – Knife
Back in the ring, SYB and Kenji are doing mat work. SYB is still not used to having any type of muscles at all and barely kicks out of multiple pin attempts. SYB attempts to crawl toward the ropes, but Kenji stops him, pulls him back to the center of the ring and locks on a camel clutch! SYB struggles, his eye bulging out of his head and almost (but not quite) as big as his beak, but eventually decides that surrender is the better part of valor and taps.
WINNER by submission in 8:43 - Kenji
CANADIAN DRAGON & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. DONOVAN VIPER & LD WILLIAMSDragon and Williams lock eyes at the bell, and both men opt out to the apron. AA and Viper lock up, going to a stalemate. Another lockup, another stalemate. A third lockup, and this time AA backs DV to a neutral corner. Mel Creech looks for a clean break, and gets one. AA laughs at Viper and they lockup again, this time Viper getting a hammerlock. AA reverses, but Viper rolls out of it, sweeps the legs out and gets a quick two count. AA argues his hair was pulled and tags out to Dragon. Viper goes behind Dragon and gets a takedown, but Dragon slithers out and dropkicks the knee. Running enziguri takes Viper down and Dragon gets a springboard leg drop. Headlock, but Viper fights up and looks for a belly to back suplex. Dragon flips out though and dropkicks Viper in the back. To the ropes, but AA blind tags in. The ref stops CD from doing any damage on account of the tag, and AA sneaks in and pounds on Viper. To the ropes, hip toss is countered by Viper with one of his own, and Viper tags to Williams. LDW in and immediately looks for the STF, but AA blocks it and gets a small package for two. Both guys up and Williams murders AA with a clothesline. Williams grabs a dragon sleeper and hits an inverted suplex on AA. Cover and AA gets a foot on the ropes. Back up and LDW looks for an inverted atomic drop, but AA elbows Williams down and tries the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT~! LDW drives him back to the corner though and sets up for a superplex. AA punches him down, though, and contemplates coming off the top… but Dragon tags himself back in! AA isn’t happy with that. Dragon in and rolls Williams up for a cover, and LDW is out at two. Both guys up and they lock eyes, and Williams says to hell with this and turns to tag out. He gets the tag, but Dragon spins him back around and they have words. Viper blindsides Dragon with the DEATH ELBOW~! Cover… one, two… but AA pulls referee Creech out of the ring. Viper charges toward AA with a suicide dive, but eats rail as Capps sidesteps him. AA rolls back in, but as he’s taunting Viper from the ring, walks right into the STF~! AA’s trapped dead center of the ring. He’s close to tapping, and Creech has no interest trying to figure out who’s legal. But before AA can tap, Dragon yanks Williams off to break the hold. LDW and CD go eye to eye and get into a heated exchange, something about poles and flippy flopping., with both guys pointing at their opponents for emphasis. AA staggers up, and out of habit, both Dragon and Williams deck him. However, Viper sneaks back in from behind, runs Dragon into Williams, sending LDW to the floor, and Viper rolls Dragon up. One, two, THREE!
WINNERS in 13:36: DONOVAN VIPER & L.D. WILLIAMS
PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. LOS DEFENESTRATORSThe new team are waiting in the ring, and Ecosistema comes onstage alone, and looks impatient, as if waiting for Voltaje to arrive. However Voltage appears through the crowd, and slides into the ring, bulldogging Phantos and when Lucios charges him, he pulls the ropes down, sending Lucios to the outside. Voltaje gets on Phantos and presses his advantage, stomping a hole in the smaller wrestler, then lifting him up and hitting a Circuit Breaker for 2. He slams Phantos and tags Ecosistema in, and he comes off the top with an elbow to the throat, again for 2. Lucios is groggily getting to his feet at ringside. Ecosistema lifts Phantos by the arm and twists it, and wrenches it, then fires in a few quick elbow strikes to the shoulder. Phantos screams in pain, and Ecosistema kicks his feet out from under him. Phantos looks for the tag, but Lucios isn’t there, still clearing the cobwebs on the outside. Eco waits for him to get to his feet and slaps on an Anaconda Vice, and falls backwards. Phantos is in trouble, but manages to get a foot onto the ropes, so Eco has to break the hold. At this point, as Phantos is getting to his feet, El Voltaje nails Phantos with a Rocker Dropper from the top rope, and this sight galvanizes Lucios who charges into the ring. The referee stops him, allowing Eco and El Voltaje to double team Phantos. Eco and Voltaje make a great show of tagging Voltaje in, and he picks Phantos up and places him on the top rope, and goes for a Power Surge. However Phantos, escapes and kicks El Voltaje off the top rope, and follows up with a Suicide Leg drop. Both men are down and their partners are screaming for tags and we get HOT tags to Ecosistema and Lucios. Lucios steams into the ring, house afire and all but beheads Ecosistema with a clothesline, before grabbing El Voltaje and Gorilla Pressing him to the outside. He turns his attention to Ecosistema and hits him with some stuff blows and follows that up with a Muscle Buster. He covers for 2 but Eco manages to kick out. Lucios gets to his feet and stalks Eco then kicks him in the back, and slaps on the Death grip. Eco is in real trouble, but manages to get an arm to the ropes, forcing Lucios to break the hold. Phantos is jumping up and down on the ring apron and Lucios sees his intent and scoops Eco up in the Electric Chair position. Phantos climbs the turnbuckle and it about to nail Eco with a missile dropkick, when El Voltaje appears at ringside and pushes him off. Lucios is shocked, and his momentary lack of attention allows Ecosistema to wriggle free and hit the Endgame and cover, getting both his feet up on the ropes to gain the 1-2-3.
WINNERS via pin-fall in 8:17 – Ecosistema & El Voltaje - LOS DEFENESTRATORS
[The Chickenshit Heels are in the back.]
JA: Well… best we can do is a 3 way tie. What happens then?
AA: I don’t know, but Viper cheated. That’s all I know.
JA: If you and Dragon are gonna pick stips, you gotta win the next match.
AA: And you’re saying…
JA: I’m saying…
[TCH look at each other thinking the same thing at the same time.]
JA: See ya out there, buddy.CHRIS COLE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – Weapons on a Pole MatchCole heads to the ring with a can o’plunder, but stops half way there when he sees Moreland in the ring and no poles set up around the ring. Cole looks confused and irate, and slowly turns around and sees GM the Rick standing there with a mic:
GMtR: Yeah, this was SUPPOSED to be a Weapons on a Pole match, but being the bookerman, I felt like changing it, so no weapons tonight. Cole walks right up to Rick and they go nose to nose. Cole drops the can and turns and heads to the ring.
To start the match, you have the classic stare down, made famous by The Boogeyman. But Davin’s all about the workrate, and slaps Chris to speed things up. Chris decks him with a clothesline. Davin pops up, Chris goes for another one, but Davin ducks it and looks for the Mark Henry Memorial Armbar. Chris twists his way out, kneeing Davin in the gut and hitting a quick suplex, bridging for a one count. Davin bridges out, and spins the both of them around for a sitout face buster. He rolls to his feet and goes for an elbow drop. Chris rolls away, and hops up, but instead of going for any follow-up elbow drop, simply kicks Moreland repeatedly. Some swearing ensues, and Chris looks for the Texas Cloverleaf. Moreland is able to reach the ropes, and both men get to their feet. An elbow to the sternum leaves Cole dazed, but not too much to dodge a moonsault attempt from Moreland, slamming him down on the mat as he flies by. Cole pulls Moreland away from the ropes, but Moreland kicks him in the chin before he can apply the Texas Cloverleaf. Moreland is up, and applies a surfboard maneuver to Cole. He releases it since I can’t remember how people always get out of that move. However, some time has elapsed. (This had made it apparent that Cole wasn’t going to give up). Moreland hauls Chris up and sets up for a jumping DDT, but is shoved off. Some rights and lefts from Cole, followed by a kickwham, but Moreland reverses the DDT attempt into a spine-buster, followed by a roll over into a pin attempt in a cool-looking move that qualifies as a spot. Cole kicks out at two. A couple of seconds elapse before Moreland is up, hauling Cole to his feet. Moreland measures his man, and looks for The Really Good Diamond Cutter! He runs the ropes, but is met with a sudden drop toe hold on his way back. Chris quickly applies the Texas Cloverleaf, and Davin has no choice but to tap.
WINNER in 13:39 – Chris Cole
Before Cole can celebrate Gm the Rick comes back out with a Mic:
I think our good referee didn’t hear the rules earlier, I said this was to be a no-submission match. Submissions do not count, therefore, referee, ring the bell, this one continues!Cole seethes at the Rick. Rick waves goodbye and heads back up the ramp. When The Main Event turns around, he walks right into a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Moreland covers and hooks the leg, one, two, three.
WINNER in 14:22 – Davin Moreland
Cole gets to his knees and has this odd stare on his face, and he begins to tremble slightly. He rolls under the bottom rope and makes his way to the back, wide eyes, and completely ignoring the fans.
CANADIAN DRAGON & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE & CAPELLANDragon and Capps have a powwow before the match and seem to be on the same page, unlike the last match. Adrenaline and Capellan obviously want nothing to do with each other. Johnny wants in, and Dragon starts for his team. Johnny calls in AA, and AA looks around in confusion. Dragon tags out and we get a TCH showdown. Last time this happened, everyone got swerved. AA and JA have some words and they lockup. Capps cradles Johnny out of nowhere… one, two, but Johnny reverses it and AA kicks out. Capps pops up and yells at Johnny, and Adrenaline laughs it off, pats him on the shoulder and tags out. Capellan in, but Johnny drills him with a forearm from behind. TCH puts the boots to Capellan as referee Angelo Barros drags Johnny away. AA looks to Dragon and implies that he should join, so CD does. Dragon and AA stomp the hell out of Capellan, then drag him to the corner for a legal tag. Dragon somersaults in with a leg drop, which gets two. Cap tries to fight out of the corner but gets nowhere. Tornado DDT plants Cap in the middle of the ring, and Johnny feigns wanting a tag. Dragon goes to the top for the DRAGONSAULT~! But Dragon eats canvas as Cap moves out of the way. Capellan with German suplex for a cover, but JOHNNY breaks up the pin. It’s 3 on 1 here. AA and Dragon work Cap over in the corner as JA screws around with the fans from the apron. AA and CD look for a Demolition Decapitation, but Capellan sends AA into the ropes and crotches Dragon. Cap stumbles up and Johnny sucker punches him… which Barros calls a tag. Johnny objects, but Cap rolls to the floor before he can tag back out. As Adrenaline bickers with the ref, AA grabs him, turns him around and chops him. Johnny sells it like he got hit by a nuclear missile and AA jumps on him for the pin. One, two, three.
WINNERS in 9:40: ATTITUDE ADJUSTER & CANADIAN DRAGON
Johnny hops up and he and AA celebrate after the bell. Dragon looks on in confusion. Johnny begins explaining the same flippy flop argument that Williams was trying to make to him earlier. As opinions are shared in the ring, THE RICK shows up in the aisle way.
The Rick: Guys, guys, guys… this is a competition, not a Broadway performance. You might win a Tony for that act Adrenaline, but Capps isn’t gonna win the match with it. Mr. Barros… we’re gonna have a do-over. Oh, and we’re gonna have it… right now. The bell sounds as TCH and Dragon looks around in confusion. Capellan sneaks back in from behind and, just like the first match, pushes AA into Adrenaline and Dragon, knocking the two of them out HARD to the floor. Capellan lines AA up… DRAGON KICK~! The cover is academic.
WINNERS in 11:58: CAPELLAN & JOHNNY ADRENALINE
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. NAYR vs. SPIN HANSEN – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchContrary to usual practice, the champ is out first. He limps to the ring, clutching one arm to his chest, and gingerly slides under the ropes, before grabbing a mic to explain himself to the crowd.
HH: "I know you folks appreciate everything I sacrifice to be your champion. As you can see, I'm wrestling hurt today. I probably should have seen a Doctor my injuries, but I was concerned he wouldn't medically clear me. I couldn't disappoint everyone like that. So: despite the heinous backstage attack that led to these injuries -"
GM The Rick's music hits as the man himself appears on the stage.
GMtR: "Hold on here. What backstage attack? I know what you idiots are like. If there's a fight backstage, I need to know about it for insurance purposes."
HH: "Nayr attacked me. No doubt attempting to gain an unfair advantage in our match."
GMtR: "Nayr attacked you? What did he do?"
HH: "He stomped on my foot!"
GMtR: "Stomped?"
HH: "... trod. But it was deliberate!"
GMtR: "It's Nayr! He weighs 14 lbs!"
HH: "He has very heavy feet! Plus, I'm getting this hangnail! These are serious injuries Rick!"
GMtR: "Well if you like I can strip you of the title ..."
HH: "No need. I'm willing to battle through the pain, Rick. For the fans."
GMtR: "I'm sure you are, potsie." Spin and Nayr come down the ramp. Harris pointedly massages his foot as the high-flyer enters the ring. The bell goes and the two challengers immediately double-team the champ with heavy right hands from Hansen and stiff kicks from Nayr. Harris almost looks pleased with being made the underdog, at least until a particularly savage combination of attacks knocks him from the ring. It's Spin vs. Nayr now, a battle of power versus speed. Nayr takes the advantage early, using his quickness to avoid Hansen's lunges and darting in with quick kicks to the knees and thighs. If he can wear down the big man's legs, he can deprive him of his vertical base. Whatever the hell that means. Still Nayr with the advantage as he starts to hit more high impact moves. Standing dropkick knocks Spin backwards. Nayr rolls to his feet. Another lunge from Hansen, another dodge, and then a chop-block to the back of the knee. Spin hops on one leg, trying to shake some feeling back into injured limb. Nayr uses the space to climb the ropes and looks for a flying forearm bug Hansen CLOTHESLINES HIM RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR~! Nayr does a Jack Evans-style 360 somersault from the blow and flops to the mat, where he spasms his way out under the ropes. The canny Harris slides in again now, fully recovered from his earlier injuries, and immediately tries to grapevines the same leg Nayr was working. Spin tries to power out, but Harris puts a stop to that with some stomps to the back, so instead Hansen goes to the ropes. Harris backs off and waits for the bigger man to pull himself up in the corner, then runs in for the traditional corner ten count. He only gets to six, however, before Hansen lifts him bodily into the air. RUNNING POWER BOMB~! Harris is folded in half! But Hansen's knee buckles under the strain of the move and he can't make the pin. Both men up, and Hansen rocks Harris’s world with two big right hands. Harris hulks up though, responding with those 'swirl my fist in the air then stamp really hard as I punch' punches that we're supposed to believe are more devastating. They just make Hansen angry. He charges Harris, but Hardbody dodges right and sticks out a footy. Hansen trips face-first into the top turnbuckle. Harris spots the injury and works the head with uppercuts and forearms, then slaps on a headlock. Spin starts to fade, but then the chants of the crowd fire him up. He hoists Harris in a side slam, then a thunderous suplex. Cover – the first of the match! – gets two. Spin continues to press his advantage with power moves, battering Harris from pillar to post, but he can't seem to get the three. After a long absence, Nayr finally reappears on the apron. He calls out to Spin. Hansen hears the call and locks Harris in a full nelson to hold him in place as Nayr scampers up the turnbuckle. MISSILE DROPKICK, but Harris slides down out of Spin's grip, and Hansen wears both of Nayr's boots right to his already injured head! The big man goes down like he's been hit with a steel chair! Harris comes back to his feet and grandstands for the crowd, tapping the side of his head to show how smart he is. Then he turns around and eats a Nayr-zugiri that knocks him through the ropes and to the floor. A Bellow in the Breeze on the still prone Hansen and picking the winner of this one is as simple as 1, 2, 3.
WINNER BY PINFALL IN 9:31 AND NEW ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION – NAYR!
<Capellan is readying for the next match and Viper walks in]
DV: You okay?
Cap: Yeah… those three ain’t got nothing to be scared of.
DV: Either way, we pick one stip for the tag title match.
Cap: Yep… so I don’t think we oughtta kill ourselves in this final match.
DV: Good call. Let’s do this.DONOVAN VIPER & LD WILLIAMS vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE & CAPELLAN Winners pick the stipulations for the triple threat tag team title match at the PPV. Capellan & Viper are assured of picking one stip. Adrenaline and Williams standoff in the middle of the ring, renewing their old rivalry. Slugout at the bell and Williams gets the upper hand. To the ropes, and Johnny ducks a clothesline and bails to the floor. Viper sends him back in, and Williams beats on him some. Hip toss into an arm bar, then into a goofy arm bar/crab combo. JA makes the ropes to break, and we get another standoff. Both guys go to tag out, but both Cap and Viper drop to the floor simultaneously. Johnny and Williams both turn around at the same time… knowing this is going to be a simple one on one encounter. Lockup, but Johnny goes to the eyes. Headlock, and JA cinches it in and Williams can’t escape it. Belly to back is blocked and Johnny takes him over. Head scissors is enough to escape and they do the Steamboat/Flair routine, leading to a Williams backslide for two. Johnny tries a quick tag, but Cap drops to the floor again. Adrenaline kicks the ropes, and Williams rolls him up from behind for two. LDW tries for the STF, but Johnny wiggles free and kicks him away. Back elbow… then a little jive and Johnny misses the elbow drop. Williams comes back, but Adrenaline sweeps his legs out and looks for a Sharpshooter. Williams blocks, so Johnny with a catapult, but Williams lands on the middle rope. Johnny charges, but Williams kicks him in the mouth. Williams with a double axe handle. Tag to Viper… but DV drops to the floor. Williams is not amused. LDW sets up for the DDT, but Johnny blatantly goes low to counter that. ADRENALINE RUSH~! But Williams’ legs nail referee Junior Hale on the slingshot. Viper and Capellan look at each other… and they hop into the ring and stomp the hell out of both guys. But suddenly AA storms the ring with a chair and lays out both of them! AA shakes the ref to wake him… but when he turns around, Canadian Dragon flies in with a Van Daminator!! Johnny tosses Dragon over the top to the floor… but turns right around into a DDT~! But there’s no ref. Williams pulls Viper up and they exchange punches… but Dragon sneaks back in with a CANADIAN DESTROYER TO VIPER ON THE CHAIR!! Williams pulls Cap up, but Cap dropkicks him away. To the top rope, but AA nails him from behind, right in the back of the head, with another chair. As Dragon leaves back thru the crowd, Williams drags Viper’s arm on top of Capellan and then goes to awaken the ref. However, Adrenaline rolls over and knocks Viper’s arm away and puts Cap’s arm on top. Williams rolls out, unaware that Johnny switched them up. Junior Hale reaches over… one, two, THREE!! Capellan pins Viper!
WINNERS in 15:53: CAPELLAN & JOHNNY ADRENALINE
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. FIRECHILD – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchSlow circle to start, Moose looking bored already. FC pulls up after a moment and makes a "breaking bones" motion with his hands. Moose grins and the two start brawling. Mel is used to this by now and lets them go for a minute or two until Moose gets Firechild in the corner. He half-heartedly counts, and Moose backs off at three. FC comes out of the corner swinging, and Moose stalls FC with a kick to the gut. FC blocks the gut wrench suplex attempt and back body drops Moose, missing Mel by inches. Mel gives them a little more room as Moose scrabbles back to his feet. The two exchange glares, then turn to Mel. Mel looks at both of them and puts his hand out- not in friendship, but expecting something. Moose digs into his pockets, FC digs into the side of his boot and they manage to scare up some $$. Mel counts it ($300 US), then asks for the house mic.
Mel: "This match is now HARDCORE RULES. You're welcome!"
FC Tackles Moose just as Mel finishes his statement. The two brawl anew, but FC gets the advantage with a ghetto blaster kick. He follows it with a standing moonsault and gets a one count. Moose rolls out of the ring to one side while FC rolls out the other, and the two rummage for weapons. FC hits the ring with an aluminum baseball bat and Moose has a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4. The two duel with the weapons, though Moose is using his two-handed. The two weapons ring convincingly and spark under the lights. Firechild wins the duel by smashing the 2x4, but doesn't walk away unscathed; his arms are bloodied from blows not blocked. He takes another big swing at Moose who rolls out of the way and out of the ring. FC stops at the ropes and shouts some VERY unheroic things at Moose, who ignores the epithets and gathers a table or two. He gets one set up and reaches for a chair; spotting the impatient Firechild attempting a PLANCHA SUICIDA, he swats FC out of the air and away from the table! Mel doesn't want to chase them around outside the ring and starts a ten-count. Annoyed, Moose throws FC back in the ring and climbs up with the chair in hand. FC is only starting to come around, and is almost concussed again as Moose charges in with the chair! FC rolls clear, and as Moose gets reset to charge, eats a VAN FIRENATOR! Moose is staggered, giving FC an opportunity to finish Moose off once and for all. He whips the dazed Moose into the corner nearest the table on the floor. He then flattens Moose with a FIERY SPLASH. Moose is stunned! FC the props Moose on the top turnbuckle and climbs up after him. He then pulls Moose up to a partially standing position, then starts setting up for... no he isn't.... oh yeah he is!! HOLY SHIT A DEVILDRIVER OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR! Crowd screams and chants for the two fallen men. Mel looks at the mess on the floor and starts a slow ten count. FC is the first to move, and even then it's a twitch. Moose starts to stir a second later, but Mel's at 6 already! FC crawls away from the table remains, Moose not far behind. Mel hits 8 as FC gets himself up to the apron, one hand on the bottom rope. Moose scoots closer, and grabs one leg as FC pulls himself up. At 9 FC is stalled! He glances back to see Moose glowering angrily at him through his crimson mask. FC adds a bruised nose to that mask and rolls in just as Mel hits 10!
WINNER By Count out at 14:23 Firechild. However, titles Cannot change hands on a count out.
CONCRETE TG vs. STANK vs. OUTBACK JACK vs. UNDERDAWG – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchStank enters the ring first, followed by Outback Jack, Underdawg, and finally Concrete TG, who hands the World title to referee Sterling Glaw. All four men stand in their corners and glare as Sterling shouts out his instructions and calls for the bell. Stank backs CTG into the corner with punches, while OBJ ducks a punch from UD and drives him into the opposite corner with a shoulder block. OBJ and Stank hit stereo Irish whips, sending their opponents to center ring. CTG leaps over the charging UD, springs off his back, and levels OBJ with a flying forearm. Stank drops to the mat under a UD clothesline attempt, and UD hits the corner hard. As UD staggers back, Stank hooks his leg and rolls under the ropes, dragging UD to the outside. Stank hits UD with a series of punches, then slams his head into the ring post, drawing blood. He attempts to whip UD into the railing, but a reversal drives Stank into the steel, and a clothesline takes both men over the barricade and into the crowd. They get to their feet and exchange blows as the crowd eggs them on. Meanwhile, inside the ring, CTG has taken control of OBJ with kicks and chops. He hooks the Aussie and takes him over with a suplex. CTG comes off the ropes with an elbow and covers, but only gets one. OBJ ducks a shining wizard attempt and catches CTG’s leg, driving several blows into his knee. OBJ releases the leg and levels CTG with a lariat, then stomps on the leg some more. He rolls CTG over and goes for the STF, but CTG twists away. OBJ moves in and CTG catches him with a roll–up for one. OBJ is up first and whips CTG across the ring. Instead of bouncing back, CTG uses the momentum to clear the ropes and level Stank and UD on the outside.
Stank, who is now bleeding as well, courtesy of the ring steps, manages to get to his feet first. He drives a knee into CTG’s head as he gets up, and turns into a sucker punch from UD. As the three men brawl at ringside, OBJ wanders over to the ropes. With a shrug, he grabs the top rope and catapults himself over in a not very pretty, but rather effective slingshot “dive” that takes everyone down. A four-way brawl erupts, with punches flying everywhere. Sterling quickly realizes that laying in a count is a waste of time, and goes to the outside to try and restore order. As he convinces OBJ not to brain CTG with a beer keg, UD slides a chair into the ring before running Stank’s face into the ring post and stuffing him under the ropes. As stank gets up, UD slams the chair into his head hard enough to echo. UD picks him up for the Last Ride and OBJ, duplicating CTG’s earlier strategy, uses the momentum of an Irish whip to slide into the ring, hitting UD with a chop block. UD drops Stank as he falls, and Stank lands hard on the chair. OBJ goes after UD, pummeling him with lefts and rights. CTG climbs back into the ring, sprints across, and knocks both UD and OBJ out to the floor. CTG turns around and seeing Stank on the mat, hits the walk up moonsault as Sterling gets back in the ring. CTG hooks the leg. One…Two…both UD and OBJ dive under the ropes but are too far away…Three.
WINNER and still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, in 21:20, Concrete TG.
After the match: Concrete rolls out of the ring and raises the belt in celebration as Underdawg and Outback Jack glare, and Sterling Glaw checks on Stank, who is still out cold.
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