OOWF Judgment Eve II Pay Per View!
Live! From Ocho Rios, Jamaica
<Moose note, I tried something different for this ppv; I tried imbedding youtube clips for everyone’s theme songs. I hope they work, if not, blame youtube. It messed up the format of the match a little bit, but I don't think it is too bad. I did have to change a few of them, because either I couldn’t find a clip, or I couldn’t find what you wanted for theme music. For those that I changed, I tried to get something that you would fit your character. They should all be SFW, except for Dawg's. Enjoy>
LOS DEFENESTRATORS vs. APOCALYPTIC BASTARDSThe rumor going around is Apocalyptic Bastards demanded one more shot at Los Defenestrators, and this time they were serious. Out next are
Los Defenestrators out to a rousing ovation. After the crowd settles a bit we hear
Familiar music and here comes LA….wait, it’s the Bastards! SYB the Kid and Apocalyptic Hernandez! They storm the ring wearing LAX gear and attack Los Defenestrators! SYB the Kid catches El Voltaje with a kick to the gut and backs him into the corner and unloads a barrage of chops. Apocalyptic Hernandez grabs Ecosistema by the throat, double goozles him and slams him to the mat. SYB the Kid pulls El Voltaje out of the corner and knees him in the gut then drops him with a DDT. Los Defenestrators bail out of the ring to regroup while the, ehh…..Latin American Bastards? Ok, we’ll go with that. While the Latin American Bastards stand in the ring and soak up the boos of the crowd. SYB the Kid gets brave and gets a running start and tries to dive between the ropes at Ecosistema, but Eco moves out of the way and SYB crashes into the guardrail. Los Def leave him there and slide back into the ring and go after Apocalyptic Hernandez. Ecosistema and Hernandez go toe to toe, Hernandez starts to get the better of it until El Voltaje comes off the ropes and clips the back of his leg. With Hernandez down, El Voltaje and Ecosistema put the boots to him. SYB the Kid comes back into the ring, and walks right into a clothesline from El Voltaje. Ecosistema and El Voltaje whip SYB the Kid to the ropes and connect with a double back elbow. SYB hits the mat again, Apocalyptic Hernandez is on his feet, and they whip him to the ropes and try the same thing, but Hernandez stops, ducks under and takes both men down with belly to back suplexes. SYB the Kid is on his feet in the corner, he climbs to the top rope and Apocalyptic Hernandez grabs him and throws him at Ecosistema as he gets to his feet. Both men tumble between the ropes to the floor. Hernandez waits for El Voltaje to get to his feet, when he does, Hernandez KILLS him with a boot to the face! Hernandez covers, one, two, thre..NO! Voltaje gets his foot on the bottom rope! Hernandez pulls Voltaje up and throws him out of the ring. He follows and sets up a table and lays a fallen Ecosistema and El Voltaje on the table, then rolls his own partner under the bottom rope. Inside the ring, Apocalyptic Hernandez grabs SYB the Kid and BORDER TOSSES him out of the ring, onto and through the table! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!! Only one small problem, Los Defenestrators moved at the last moment. SYB the Kid might be dead, Apocalyptic Hernandez stands by the ropes staring at the wreckage of his partner in disbelief. When he turns around , Los Def catch him with matching super kicks, then Voltaje takes Hernandez and plants him across his knee with a pendulum backbreaker and holds him there, Ecosistema comes off the top rope with a knee to the chest, covers, and gets the three count.
WINNERS in 10:02 – Los Defenestrators
LD WILLIAMS vs. JASON SHAPIROJason Shapiro comes to the ring first, this is his first OOWF appearance in a bit, and I cannot imagine it will be a very pleasant one. Shapiro climbs to the second rope and poses, and the crowd boos, but you can almost hear some sympathy in their voices. Almost.
LD Williams is out next, and to everyone’s surprise, he comes out with a mic. Williams pauses once he gets into the ring and speaks:
You know, generally I don’t feel the need to say much, I let my actions speak for themselves. A few weeks ago I ended a run in one of the greatest tag teams in OOWF history, and now here I am a few weeks later opening the pay per view against a guy most had forgot was even on the roster. That’s fine. I hope the championship committee is paying attention. This beating will speak for itself.With that Williams drops the mic and turns and hammers Shapiro with a right cross to the jaw that drops him to the mat. Williams mounts Shapiro and hammers away stopping only when the referee threatens disqualification. LDW pulls Shapiro to his feet and sends him into the corner shoulder first, slamming into the steel ring post. Shapiro howls in pain and clutches at his shoulder. Williams pulls him back into the ring, pins his arm behind his back, scoops him up and drops him down on his knee shoulder first with a perfect shoulder breaker. As Shapiro writhes in pain on the mat, Williams hits the ropes and drops a knee across the apparently injured shoulder, then keeps his weight on the shoulder and drives the knee home several more times. Williams pulls Shapiro to a sitting position, then drops an elbow down on his shoulder repeatedly, drawing another warning from the referee. Williams turns back to Shapiro, who tries firing a couple of shots into Williams mid section, but Williams stops him cold with a knee to the face. LDW pulls Shapiro up and throws him between the ropes, then follows him to the outside. Once out of the ring, Williams pulls Shapiro to his feet and sends him shoulder first into the steel stairs. Shapiro grabs his shoulder in agony. Williams grabs a chair and opens it, then has a seat and waits for Shapiro to get to his feet. When he does, his arm hangs limply from his shoulder. Shapiro turns around and Williams springs out of the chair and catches him with a clothesline that slams the back of Shapiro’s head into the ring post. Shapiro’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he fights for consciousness. Williams slips into the ring to break the count, then right back to the outside, where he grabs JS and hits a swinging neck breaker on the floor, wrenching Shapiro’s neck in the process. Williams stands over Shapiro for a moment, then rolls him into the ring. LD pulls a nearly defenseless Shapiro to his feet and hauls him up in a vertical suplex and holds him there, then slingshots him off the top rope and turns it into a jack hammer! Williams opts not to go for the cover, instead he pulls Shapiro to his feet and lands a wicked pile driver. Shapiro looks to be damn near out cold. Once again Williams waits patiently for Shapiro to fight his way to his feet, Shapiro uses the ref to help pull himself up. Williams charges over and pushes the referee out of the way, but Shapiro turns and catches Williams with a kick to the gut, then rocks him with several shots from his good arm. Jason tries to whip Williams to the ropes, but Williams puts on the breaks, reverses the whip into a short arm clothesline, keeps hold of Shapiro’s arm and pulls him back to his feet, kicks him low, then PLANTS him with a DDT. Williams turns Shapiro over and locks on the STF, Shapiro taps furiously as Williams wrenches back hard on his injured neck, and also turns it into a bit of a cross face just to hurt the shoulder as well. The referee calls for the bell, and once again Williams keeps the hold locked on until he is threatened with disqualification.
WINNER in 8:14 – LD Williams
OUTBACK JACK vs. JW WESTGAARD – Weapons Cage MatchThe ring crew has the cage set up and loaded with weapons for our next match.
Outback Jack is out first, carrying a full bottle that he is working on as he heads to the ring, and dragging a garbage can of empty bottles that we can only assume that he killed off earlier today. Jack gets to the ring and sets the can inside the door.
JW Westgaard is announced next, and he comes to the ring carrying a hockey stick and a snarl on his face. Westgaard gets into the ring, the ref slams the door and this one is underway! Jack waits in the center of the ring drinking a beer, Westgaard slowly walks to the center of the ring to meet him, the two men stand jawing at each other, then Westgaard takes his stick and knocks the beer bottle out of Jack’s hand just as he was about to take another sip. Jack stares at Westgaard with rage etched on his face, then grabs his stick, snaps it across his knee, and slams Westgaard in the face with the broken end. Jack grabs Westgaard and sends him face first into the cage, as JWW rebounds, Jack picks up a chair and pastes him in the face with it. Westgaard hits the mat, and Jack grabs a can o’plunder and dumps it in the ring, rummages for a moment, then comes up with COOKIE SHEET! Westgaard gets to his feet and Jack warps cookie sheet over his head, Westgaard falls to his knees, cookie sheet still firmly attached to his skull. Jack picks up the chair and is about to make cookie sheet a permanent fixture on Westgaard’s head, when JWW takes the broken stick and tries to puncture the Jack Family Jewels. OBJ doubles over in pain and Westgaard gets to his feet and throws the warped cookie sheet at him, then dumps another can o’plunder and comes up with a cheese grater. Westgaard straddles Jack and pulls him up into a camel clutch, then takes the cheese grater and repeatedly runs it across Jack’s forehead, opening numerous gashes. JWW lets go and pulls Jack up and sends him into the cage, then JWW hits the ropes and connects with a CROSSCHECK that sends Jack right back into the cage a second time. Jack ends up on the mat, dazed, but instead of heading out the cage, Westgaard looks for more plunder. He digs around and tips over Jack’s can of beer bottles, then settles on a length of logging chain. Westgaard wraps the chain around Jack’s throat and pulls him to his feet, then wraps it around his fist and swings, but Jack ducks and as Westgaard spins all the way around he takes him down with a leg sweep clothesline. Jack staggers a moment, wipes the blood from his eyes and looks around, then gets an evil grin on his face. Jack pulls JWW to his feet and walks him over to the pile of beer bottles, then hits THE CHOMP in the pile of bottles! Glass flies everywhere, Westgaard twitches in pain, gets to his knees so we can all see the shards of glass sticking out of his back and the back of his neck. To drive the point home a little more, Jack grabs a chair and slams it into Westgaard’s back. Westgaard howls in pain and retreats to the corner. Jack follows him in with a clothesline, then grabs him and bulldogs him into the pile of glass! Now Westgaard comes up a bloody mess. The two men tear at each other for another fifteen minutes, every weapon is used. Neither man can stand on their own for long. Westgaard hits another low blow on Jack, then hits an ICE AUGER! Both men are down, but Jack may be dead. Westgaard crawls ever so slowly toward the cage, then pulls himself to his feet and staggers toward the door. Using his last bit of strength, Jack rummages through the plunder and comes up with the BARBED WIRE WRAPPED BOOMERANG! He throws it across the ring and catches Westgaard right in the side of the head! Westgaard falls to the mat, blood pooling around his head, and now it is Jack’s turn to crawl across the ring. Jack is right at the door when Westgaard grabs his foot, Westgaard grabs the boomerang and repeatedly slams it into Jack’s leg, leaving a dark bloody spot on Jack’s leg, Jack cocks his free leg and kicks the boomerang right back into Westgaard’s face, drawing screams of pain! While Westgaard is in agony, Jack pulls himself out the door and falls to the floor.
WINNER in 25:05 – Outback Jack
CAPELLAN & VIPER vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – Best of 3 Falls Cage MatchCapellan & Viper come to the ring first, they climb through the cage door, Donovan Viper tests the cage sides, while Capellan climbs the corner and perches atop the top corner of the cage and acknowledges the fans cheers.
Phantos & Lucios come out next, they march right to the ring and climb inside, and try to get the official rules from the referee, but the referee explains that he has instructions from GM the Rick that he is not to tell them anything. What we do know is that this will be contested as a normal tag team match, only two men may be in the ring at one time beyond the five count. The first team to win two falls wins the match. The referee orders two men out of the ring, and it looks like it will be Capellan and Phantos starting things off. Referee Mel Creech orders the door closed, calls for the bell, and this one is under way. Cap and Phantos slowly circle and lock up. Phantos tries an arm drag, but Cap lands on his feet and hits the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Phantos takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold, then springs to the ropes for a drop kick to the face, but Capellan rolls out of the way and Phantos gets nothing but mat. Capellan kips up to his feet and bounds off the ropes and tries a leg drop, but Phantos rolls out of the way and spins up to his feet, Capellan does the same and both men square off in the center of the ring again, to a rousing ovation from the crowd. The two men circle again and lock up, Capellan grabs a side head lock, and Phantos shoves him off toward the ropes Capellan leaps in the air, and propels himself backward, not from the ropes, but from the cage itself, and connects with an elbow to Phantos jaw. Capellan springs back to his feet and pulls Phantos up and hits a series of three snap suplexes, then tags in Donovan Viper who comes in and waits for Phantos to get to his feet, when he does, he charges in and buries a knee into Phantos mid section, then hefts him up over his shoulder and slams him into the cage, then slams him to the mat. Viper rolls Phantos over and covers, but can only get a one count. Viper pulls Phantos to his feet and lifts Phantos for a belly to back suplex, but Phantos slips over his shoulder and lands on the mat behind him, Viper spins around and Phantos nails him with an enzuguri to the back of the head. Phantos grabs a staggered Viper and sends him face first into the cage, then tags in Lucios. Lucios comes into the ring and takes Viper down with a clothesline as soon as he stands up. Capellan eats a forearm to the jaw for good measure as well. Lucios turns his attention back to Viper, he pulls him up and sends him into the cage again, then slams his head repeatedly into the cage. He releases Viper and Viper takes a few steps and falls face first to the mat. Phantos and Lucios now take turns double teaming Donovan Viper, beating him mercilessly. Lucios pulls Viper off the mat and sets him up on the top rope and tags in Phantos, Phantos charges in and climbs the ropes and is about to superplex Viper off the top, Lucios remains in the ring and drops to one knee, as Viper comes down, the small of his back lands right on Lucios’ knee! Viper screams in pain as Phantos covers, but Capellan makes it into the ring just in time to break the pin before the three count. The crowd cheers Viper on, urging him to make the tag to a well rested Capellan. A bloody Viper crawls across the ring, but Phantos pulls him to his feet, Viper hits a desperation jaw breaker, and falls backward for the tag, but doesn’t quite make it. Phantos, grabs Viper’s foot to keep him from tagging, but Viper kicks him in the face until he lets go. Phantos grabs him again and pulls him to his feet, he backs him to the ropes and whips him across the ring, but Phantos lowers his head a moment too soon and Viper leapfrogs him and makes the tag to Capellan. Capellan comes in like a house on fire, he catches Phantos with a drop kick, then ducks a clothesline by a charging Lucios and sends him into the cage. Capellan turns back to Phantos and grabs him and hits a northern lights suplex, bridges and gets a two count before he breaks it to avoid a kick by Lucios. Donovan Viper staggers back into the ring and grabs Lucios from behind and slams him into the cage and locks on an Anaconda Vice over the ropes, bending Lucios back across the ropes. Meanwhile, Phantos whips Capellan to the corner, he climbs the ropes and leaps, landing on Phantos shoulders and rolls forward with a victory roll and gets the one, two three!
WINNERS in 14:49 Capellan & Viper lead 1-0. No rest period in this match, the referee orders that Viper breaks the hold on Lucios, he does and Lucios falls to the mat. As Viper is herded back to his corner, Phantos grabs Capellan from behind and runs him into the cage face first, as he rebounds, Lucios is back up and nearly decapitates Capellan with a clothesline. The referee turns around and starts the five count, but Lucios returns to his corner. Phantos climbs to the top rope and drops a leg across Capellan’s chest and covers, but Cap kicks out just in time. Phantos pulls Cap closer to their corner, then locks on a Texas clover leaf trying to get the submission win. Cap screams in pain and tries to power out of it, just as he is about to break the hold, Phantos reaches back and tags in Lucios, Lucios comes into the ring and drops an elbow on the back of Cap’s neck. Lucios pulls Cap to his feet and hauls him into a back breaker, then drops to his knees. Cap bounces off Phantos shoulders and hits the mat. He crawls toward his corner and tries to make the tag, but Lucios pulls him back. Lucios pulls Capellan to a sitting position and tilts his head back and drops the elbow between his eyes repeatedly. Lucios pulls him up and throws Cap to the cage. This time Cap hits face first and falls back to the ring, blood running down his face. Lucios senses the kill, so he pulls Capellan up and sets him on the top rope, and this time he pulls him off for a Border Toss, but as he gets to the middle of the ring, Donovan Viper comes into the ring and catches Lucios with a running Death Elbow to the face! Lucios drops Capellan and falls to his knees. Viper connects with a kick to the side of the head before he leaves the ring. Capellan gets to his feet, and Phantos comes into the ring and tries to run him into the cage again, but Capellan blocks it and sends Phantos into the cage first. Phantos falls to the mat, Cap turns around and eats a big boot from Lucios. Lucios pulls the limp Capellan up and lifts him for a power bomb, but Cap reverses it and snaps off a hurracarana, then lunges forward and tags in Viper. Donovan Viper charges in and connects on Lucios with several kicks to his sides and finally a spinning Fire Hammer to the chest. Phantos comes in and tries a clothesline, but Viper ducks and Viper grabs him and hits a release Dragon Suplex. Viper waits for Lucios to get to his feet and nails a pump handle slam and locks on the Anaconda Vice a second time, this time in the center of the ring. Lucios is fading but Phantos comes in and makes the save. Viper gets to his feet and backs Phantos into the corner with shots to the head, chops and forearms to the side of the head. He grabs Phantos and calls to the fans for the finishing shot, but before he could nail him, Lucios grabs Viper from behind and tries a German suplex, but Viper fights it, until Phantos explodes out of the corner with a super kick to Viper’s jaw, Lucios hits the move and Phantos charges across the ring and stops Capellan from making the save. Creech counts three and this one is tied up. WINNERS in 27:09 – Phantos & Lucios – Series ties 1-1[/b]. Once again, no rest period between falls, but neither team seems eager to charge into battle. Viper gets to his feet slowly and Lucios gets to his. Lucios tries a shot to the head and Viper ducks and lifts him for an atomic drop that sends Lucios to the cage, then to the mat. Viper also collapses to the mat and drags himself along the ropes toward his corner where a bursting at the seams Capellan waits for the tag. Lucios gets to his feet and charges over to the corner and tries to stop the tag, but Viper tags Capellan, so Lucios turns and rushes toward his corner and tags in Phantos. Phantos leaps over the top rope and runs toward Capellan, but Cap catches him with a belly to belly suplex and plants him in the center of the ring. Capellan climbs to the top rope and leaps, and lands a flying elbow to Phantos chest. Cap covers and gets a two count, but Phantos manages to get his shoulder up just in time. Capellan is up again and is a bundle of energy, he waits until Phantos is on his feet, then hits the ropes and hits a scissors kicks to the back of Phantos head, covers again, but this time it is broke up by Lucios. Lucios grabs Cap and sends him into the cage before he is ushered out of the cage by the referee. Donovan Viper comes in and everything breaks down. Donovan Viper rushes across the ring and nails Lucios with a forearm to the side of the head. He takes Lucios head and drags it across the cage leaving a bloody spot on his mask. Capellan and Phantos are both on their feet trading shots to the head, Phantos gets the better of it and backs Capellan into the corner and sets him on the top rope. Phantos climbs up and goes for a superplex. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Donovan Viper pulls Lucios to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then drops him to the mat with an exploder suplex. Viper rushes across the ring and gets under Phantos and Capellan reverses it in mid air so a superplex turned into a power bomb leg drop combo! Lucios watches as his partner gets decimated, then turns toward the cage door and heads toward the exit. He demands the referee open the door, and Lucios leaves and raises his arm in victory! But the referee comes over and pulls his arm down, and explains to him that, according to GM the Rick, escaping the cage is not a form of victory! Lucios argues with the referee, meanwhile, Capellan pulls Phantos to his feet and hits the GTS, Viper follows that immediately with a death elbow to the back of the head! Cap covers, one, two, three! This one is over!
WINNERS – 2 falls to 1 – in 38:19 – Capellan & Viper
DAVIN MORELAND vs. UNDERDAWG – Hell In The CellAfter a brief intermission to disassemble the cage and assemble the Hell in the Cell,
Davin Moreland heads to the ring, a look of grim determination on his face. He climbs through the door and paces inside the ring waiting for UnderDawg to make his entrance. Almost as if on cue, the lights go out and the familiar music starts and
UnderDawg makes his way to the ring. Much like Moreland, Dawg has a snarl on his face as he marches into the cell and immediately goes after Moreland. The two big men meet in the center of the ring and trade haymakers. Moreland gets the better of the exchange rocking Dawg back on his heels with thunderous shots to the head. Dawg cuts him off with a knee to the mid section, then a clubbing shot to the back of the neck that drops Moreland to one knee. Dawg grabs Moreland and sends him between the ropes to the floor. Moreland hits the floor and Dawg walks slowly, deliberately to the ropes, but Moreland does not stay down for long, he hops on the apron and grabs Dawg by the head and drops off the apron clothes lining Dawg on the top rope. Dawg falls to the mat and Moreland drags him under the ropes to the floor. Moreland keeps hold of Dawg and sends him into the cage, then reaches under the ring and grabs a chair, waits for Dawg to get back to his feet, and slams him in the face with a steel chair. Dawg goes down once again, Moreland stands over Dawg, bends down and yells at him “DAVIN MORELAND AIN’T YOUR BITC…” He is cut off with an uppercut to the throat from Dawg. Dawg does the zombie sit up of the undead and gets to his feet. He grabs Moreland and sends him face first into the steel ring post, Moreland bounces off the post and we see immediately that he has been busted open. Dawg slowly stalks his prey, stopping momentarily to rummage under the ring for a steel chain that he wraps around his fist. He pulls Moreland to a sitting position, tilts his head back and hammers away with the chain wrapped fist. It doesn’t take too many shots for Moreland to be a bloody mess. Dawg finishes it off by biting Moreland on the forehead. Moreland falls to the floor, Dawg slowly looks up, blood running down his face. He grins and throws his head back and laughs maniacally and rolls his head back into his head. He is snapped back into reality from a couple of shots to the mid section by Moreland. Dawg seems more annoyed than anything else, he pulls Moreland to his feet and slams him face first into the cage, then rolls him under the bottom rope into the ring. Dawg climbs over the top rope and waits for Moreland to get to his feet, when he does, he goozles Moreland for a choke slam, but Moreland fights out of it with shots to the face. One shot catches Dawg right in the temple and rocks him, Dawg staggers back to the corner and Moreland follows him in with a clothesline, and now it is Dawg’s turn to bite Dawg on the forehead. Moreland lets Dawg stagger out of the corner then hits the ropes and gives Dawg a Jericho bulldog. Moreland is up quickly and puts the boots to Dawg, looks like the Moreland Stomp as he manages to hit both arms, both knees and plants the final one on his face. Moreland turns away for a moment to wipe the blood from his eyes and Dawg tries the zombie sit up of the undead again, but Moreland turns in time to see him, he charges and plants a boot right to Dawg’s face, sending him right back to the mat. Moreland pulls Dawg to his feet and clotheslines him over the top rope, then follows him to the floor. Now it is Moreland’s turn to take it to the Dead Dawg, the runs Dawg into the Cell, then rummages under the ring and finds a clangy pole, presumably not THE clangy pole though. Moreland holds clangy pole like a Louisville slugger and waits for Dawg to get to his feet, when he does, he buries it in his mid section, then slams it down across Dawg’s back. Moreland pulls one table from under the ring, then a second one, then rolls Dawg into the ring, Moreland sets up one table, then pulls Dawg to his feet, but Moreland took a bit too long, and gets goozled by Dawg, CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!! This one is over. Dawg covers, but Moreland KICKS OUT AT TWO!!! Dawg cannot believe it! He barks at the referee and pulls Moreland up and sends him to the ropes and nearly kicks his head off his shoulders with a big boot. Dawg looks out at the crowd and snarls, then pulls Moreland up and sets him up for the Fireplug Driver, but Moreland slips over his shoulder and spins Dawg around, REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER!! Moreland covers, but Dawg manages to roll his shoulder at two. Moreland pulls Dawg to his feet and grabs a piece of the broken table and slams it right into Dawg’s face! Dawg collapses to the mat, Moreland pulls him up and places him on the table, then climbs to the top rope and nails a FLYING ELBOW!! Dawg and Moreland crash through the table to the mat, Moreland hooks a leg amid the wreckage and gets the three count.
WINNER in 22:41 – Davin Moreland
Moreland gets to his feet and stares down at Dawg, then raises his arms in victory and staggers out of the Cell to the back.
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. F. FONZWORTH CAPPINGTON III – Crystal Cage MatchAfter another brief intermission we come back to the ring where the crystal cage has been assembled. Essentially it is a regular steel cage, but the inside is lined with fine French lead crystal. Standard cage match rules apply, the way to win is through pin fall, submission or escape. There is a fine mesh netting around the cage as well to protect our fans from being impaled. The workers put the finishing touches on the cage and scatter, and
F. Fonzworth Cappington III music starts and he and Lance make their way to the ring. Cappington stops to look down his nose at the fans and we overhear him telling people that he spent more money on this cage than the people of Cuba will make in a lifetime. A few fans reach out and touch Cappington on the shoulder, Cappington immediately turns to Lance, who pulls out a can of Lysol to disinfect the area they touched. Cappington walks around the cage and seems to inspect it, then he removes his Armani jacket and climbs into the cage. The lights go out and we hear the familiar strains of
Hardbody Harris’ music. The chorus hits, the lights blaze and Hardbody Harris comes out from the back. The crowd goes crazy as Harris makes his way to the ring, slapping hands, kissing babies, and propositioning a few young ladies IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! Harris finally gets to the ring and climbs inside. The referee carefully closes the door and this one is underway. The two men meet in the center of the ring, Cappington sneers and looks down his nose at Harris, Harris acknowledges his fans cheers, Cappington looks bored and pie faces Harris away. Harris looks at the crowd and smirks, then walks right back up to Cappington and backhands him. The shot sends Cappington to one knee, crawling to the corner. Harris pursues him, but Cappington calls a time out. Harris backs off and turns to acknowledge the cheers of the crowd, Cappington explodes out of the corner and clubs Harris in the back of the head, sending him to his knees. Cappington grabs Harris and hammers away at his head, then scoops him up and plants him with a body slam in the middle of the ring. Cappington hits the ropes and drops an elbow across Harris’ chest. Cap covers, but doesn’t even get a one count. Cappington is quickly up to his feet and waits for Harris to get up, then catches him with a clothesline. Cappington motions to the crowd and points to the cage, they boo Cappington loudly as he pulls Harris to his feet. Cappington grabs him by the back of the head and sends him toward the crystal cage, but Harris puts on the breaks and instead sends Cappington face first into the crystal! The crystal shatters and leave a large hole where Cappington’s head went through the glass. Cappington howls in pain and staggers away trying to pull the shards of glass out of his skin. Blood flows freely as he staggers, so Harris grabs him again and sends him into the opposite side of the cage, drawing another huge cheer from the fans. Cappington staggers around the ring trying to see through the blood, Harris hits the ropes and takes Cappington down with a chop block. Hardbody grabs both of Cappington’s legs and catapults him into the third side of the cage, Cappington blocks it somewhat hitting mostly with his shoulder and the side of his head, but it shreds his skin nonetheless. Harris drops a leg across a fallen Cappington and covers, but he can only get a two count. Harris pulls a horribly bloody Cappington to his knees, kisses his fist and is about to drive the shot home when Cappington low blows him. Cappington gets to his feet, rage in his eyes as he wipes the blood from his face. He grabs Harris by the throat with both hands and lifts him off the mat, then runs him back first into the unbroken side of the cage, shattering the crystal on Harris’ back, and slicing his back to ribbons. Harris falls to the mat in agony, but Cappington is not done, he pulls off his $5000 leather belt and whips Harris RIGHT ACROSS THE NUMEROUS GASHES ON HIS BACK! Harris screams in pain. Cappington wraps the belt around Harris neck and pulls him up, then uses the belt to whip Harris into the crystal, shattering it more and leaving Harris in a pile of shattered crystal and broken glass. Cappington struts around the ring and taunts the fans while pointing at Harris. Cappington slowly walks over to Harris, who still has not moved, and grabs him by the hair to pull him to his feet, but Harris grabs a hand full of broken crystal and punches Cappington right in the family jewels! Cappington hops around the ring in pain, Harris gets to his feet, steadies himself and hits a RUNNING TO BE EDITED IN LATER ON CAPPINGTON!! Cappington is down and Harris crawls toward the door! Harris inches his way toward the door, agonizingly slow, he is at the door, the referee opens it, Harris starts out when WHAM! IT’S THE DEFENESTRATORS! They slam the crystal door right in Harris face! OH MY GOD! The referee immediately calls for the bell!
WINNER in 16:57 by Disqualification – Hardbody Harris
Ecosystem and Voltage shove the referee aside and climb into the cage. They pull Harris into the center of the ring and lift him for a spike pile driver, Cappington climbs to the second rope, but before they finish it, Ecosystem grabs a pile of crystal and puts it right under Harris head! OH DEAR GOD NO!!! Just before they hit the move, a man in a hooded sweatshirt (again?) jumps the guardrail with a chair and runs into the cage! He catches Ecosystem with a chair shot to the face, then grabs Voltage, who drops Harris harmlessly and hits an inverted atomic drop, then pastes him on the back with a chair shot. The unknown stranger turns just in time to catch Cappington coming off the ropes with a jab to the mid section with the chair. LOADED decided they have had enough and bail out of the ring, despite having a three on one advantage. The stranger watches them go, then drops the chair and helps Hardbody Harris to his feet. This looks bad, watch, he is going to clothesline him out of his boots. Harris gets to his feet, staggers a bit, wipes the blood from his eyes, then focuses on the stranger, and a HUGE smile crosses his face. The Harris reaches up and pulls the hood back…..IT’S CHRIS ALT!!!! THE BFF ARE BACK TOGETHER!! Harris and Alt share a manly, if somewhat homoerotic hug in the middle of the broken glass and blood, the crowd goes absolutely batshit insane! Alt raises Harris hand in victory, and they share another questionable hug, then leave the ring together.
NAYR vs. KNIFE vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchThe cage is down, the crystal is cleaned up and we are ready for our first title match of the night, and folks you are about to witness one of the most bizarre things in OOWF history, and with us, that is saying something. Moosehead Jack is in an Onslaught Championship match. Speaking of
Moosehead Jack he makes his way to the ring and slumps in the corner and waits for the bell. Our second challenger
Knife walks down the ramp, once again looking a bit dazed and confused. He climbs between the ropes, looks at Moose for a minute, then retreats to a corner and kneels in silent prayer. Finally the champion
Nayr comes to the ring. He sprints to the ring, but instead of sliding under the bottom rope and bounding off the ropes, he stops at ringside and takes his title off and hands it to the time keeper, then climbs between the ropes never taking his eyes off his foes. The referee calls the three men to the center of the ring, but no one moves. The ref tries again, and once again, no one moves, he shrugs, “ring the damn bell.” This one is underway. Nayr walks to the corner where Moose is slumped, sitting with a strange grin on his face. Nayr is so focused on Moose he never sees Knife come up behind him and roll him up. Knife gets a two count, but kicks out just in time, he spins up to his feet, and gets clothes lined to the mat by Moose. Moose then steps back to the corner, and Knife covers again and gets a two count. Knife pulls Nayr to his feet and drops him across his knee, Moose leaps from the second rope and drives an elbow into Nayr’s throat. This is looking suspiciously like a two on one match. Knife pulls Nayr up again and holds him, and once again Moose nails him with a right cross to the face, drawing a warning from the referee. Moose grins at the ref, drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring, grabs a chair and….sits down? Could he be counted out? It doesn’t matter because Knife grabs Nayr and hits a double chicken wing suplex, bridges and gets a two count. Knife springs to his feet, Nayr is up quick as well, Knife tries a punch but Nayr blocks it and grabs Knife in a side headlock, Knife shoves him off toward the corner, Nayr scales the ropes, turns and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK TO THE FLOOR that catches Moose right in the jaw and knocks him backward out of the chair! That pops the crowd and prompts another HOLY SHIT chant. Nayr gets up surprisingly fast and slides back under the bottom rope and avoids several stomp attempts by Knife. Nayr gets to his feet and hits the ropes, Knife tries a clothesline, but Nayr ducks, hooks the arm, then floats over and plants him with a DDT. Nayr covers, but Knife is out at two. Both men are up again, Nayr whips Knife to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Knife catches him for a pile driver attempt, but Moose is back into the ring, he grabs Knife and throws him over the top rope, then turns back to Nayr and attacks, driving him back to the corner with punches to the head that draws a second warning from the referee, one more and Moose is gone. Moose whips Nayr across the ring and charges, but Nayr uses the corner to leap in the air, Moose crashes into the corner and Nayr rolls him up from behind, one, two, POP. Knife nails Nayr with a STAB to the jaw! But Knife doesn’t go for the pin, instead he gets right in Moosehead Jack’s face. The two men come to blows and exchange forearms to the head, but then just as fast as it starts, Jack puts up his arms to stop Knife, then turns and nails Nayr with a spinning chop to the side of the neck that sends Nayr to the ropes, when he rebounds, Moose drops him with a heart punch. Moose turns back to Knife and grins, then falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. Knife watches Moose go, then hesitates for a moment, then pulls a barely conscious Nayr to his feet and sets him on the top rope and hits a top rope muscle buster! Nayr lands right on the back of his head and neck! Knife keeps the head hooked, floats over and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 14:21 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Knife
Moosehead Jack slowly backs up the ramp grinning and holding up one finger as Knife gets to his feet and holds his title up in the air and watches Jack with a strange look on his face.
THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. DEFENESTRATORS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Defenestration, Windows on a Pole Match MatchNever heard of a Defenestration match? Not surprised. To our knowledge there has only been one ever done when the Defenestrators defeated Apocalyptic Existence. Just to make this match a little more bizarre, Attitude Adjuster demanded that we also include windows on a pole. So, in all four corners, there are four poles with four full sized windows hanging from them. If you climb up there and get them, you can use them. On the outside of the ring, there are also four Barber Shop windows set up. The winner of the match is the first team to throw both of their opponents through the windows. The challengers
The Defenestrators come to the ring first. They have a very confident look on their faces, and seem to have suffered no ill effects from those chair shots from Chris Alt earlier in the night. Finally familiar music plays and the champions
The Chickenshit Heels make their way to the ring. They climb between the ropes and hold their titles high in the air, turning their backs on their opponents, which is pretty much the universal sign for “please attack me” so the Defenestrators oblige them. Voltage attacks AA and they roll around the mat trading blows, Ecosystem attacks Johnny, but Johnny bails out of the ring before Eco can do much damage. Johnny sprints around the ring, and as he rounds one corner, he stops on a dime and ducks, as soon as Eco rounds the corner Adrenaline explodes from the crouch and nearly kills him with a clothesline. Johnny rolls back into the ring and grabs Voltage from behind and peels him off of AA. JA drops Voltage with a Scorpion Death drop as AA gets to his feet, Johnny distracts the referee for a moment, and AA drops a scientific knee right to the groin. Voltage howls in pain, and AA gets the idea to climb the pole now to get one of the windows hanging from the pole. AA gets to the top rope when Ecosystem meets him on the top rope and they battle over who can climb the pole. AA rears back and aims a punch for Eco’s head, but Eco moves at the last second and AA punches the pole. AA howls in pain and lets go of the pole to grab his hand, a shot to the head from Eco and AA falls backward off the top rope. Eco starts to shimmy up the pole, but Johnny is quickly up to the top rope to stop him. Voltage has now recovered and he rushes over and gets under Johnny, setting him on his shoulders, Voltage takes a few steps back and Eco leaps off the top rope and connects with a missile drop kick to Johnny’s chest just as Voltage falls backward! Adrenalin falls out of the ring to the floor, but AA sees his opportunity, with Voltage prone on the mat after the suplex, AA slaps on the IRON CLAW!!! Eco moves to attack AA, then realizes that Voltage could submit a hundred times and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. He decides his partner can suffer a little bit longer, so he climbs back to the top of the pole and unhooks one of the windows, gets back down to the top rope, leaps and slams the window down on AA’s head, shattering it in a million pieces! AA collapses to the mat in a heap. Eco celebrates believing that the Defenestrators are now up one to zero, but the referee has a ruling:
the object of the match is to throw your opponents through the window. In this case, the window sort of went through Attitude Adjuster, therefore, it does not count.Ecosystem is incensed, he berates the referee, and does not see Johnny Adrenaline come up from behind him and nail him with a high knee to the back that sends him crashing into the referee. Angel Barros falls to the mat in a heap and Johnny throws Eco out of the ring to the floor. Meanwhile, AA is back to his feet, blood pouring from the top of his head, staining his blonde hair, AA snaps his head back a few times to get that really cool “blood soaked hair” effect that Ric Flair made so popular. The Chickenshit Heels pull Voltage, who was also busted open by the claw, to his feet and sends him to the ropes, both men drop to their knees, then hit a double elbow to the stomach doubling Voltage over, then each man grabs his head and head to the ropes, they leap over the top rope and snap Voltage’s head on the top rope, sending him back into the ring. On the outside, Ecosystem has recovered, he has a chair and he smacks AA in the back of the head with it sending him to the floor. Adrenaline attacks and the two men fight around ring side. Meanwhile inside the ring, Voltage has regained his composure and climbs to the top of another pole and grabs the window. He stands on the top rope and waits for AA to get to his feet, then he throws the window at him, shattering it across his head again. One more time AA is down in a heap. Voltage sees that Adrenaline and Ecosystem are beating the snot out of each other so he jumps down from the top rope, sets up two tables and takes one of the barber shop windows and lays it across the tables (naturally with a space between the tables). Adrenaline and Eco fight around the ring and get to where the tables are set up. Johnny ducks an Ecosystem clothesline and nails him with a European uppercut that rocks his head backward. Adrenaline rolls Eco onto the tables where the glass is, then climbs to the apron, but before he can do anything, Voltage sneaks up and nails him from behind, then grabs Johnny and BULLDOGS HIM OFF THE APRON AND THROUGH THE PLANE OF GLASS!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Johnny begins flopping around and twitching, we dozens of cuts on his chest bleeding heavily. Voltage suffers a few cuts too, but nothing like that. Eco sort of gets lost in the moment and stares somewhat mesmerized at the scene before him. The Defenestrators lead 1-0. Their advantage is short lived however, with Eco caught in the moment, a terribly blood AA charges around the ring and nails him from behind with a loafer. A loafer? We see J.J. Dillion sitting in the front row, only one shoe on his foot. Ohhhhhh, THAT’S where it came from. JJ Dillion is the only man on the planet that wears steel toed loafers. Eco sells it like a champ, and AA grabs him and runs him around the ring and RIGHT THROUGH THE SECOND PLATE GLASS WINDOW! We are now tied 1-1! The next team that throws someone through a window is the winner! Johnny is pretty well out of commission, Voltage gets out of the wreckage and staggers to his feet, Ecosystem is required to sell his shot through the window for several minutes so he is of no help to anyone. AA rolls back into the ring and starts to climb a corner trying for a third window. Not to be outdone Voltage slides into the ring and climbs the fourth corner. It is a race against time as both men climb to get a window. They both get their prize and head to the ring. There they square off and slowly circle. Uhhh guys, is this really a wise idea? Evidently they believe they both have chairs, must be the blood loss, because both men swing the windows, wood frame hits wood frame and both glass panes shatter and spray the wrestlers like shrapnel. This was not well thought out in advance. Both men fall to their knees grimaces of pain on their faces as they try to pull pieces of glass out of their chests. Their required sell time now up, Adrenaline and Ecosystem now slide into the ring and join the fracas. Eco kicks AA in the chest driving a shard of glass into his skin. Adrenaline pulls Voltage to his feet and tires the Adrenaline Rush, but Voltage rakes the eyes and Johnny drops him. Eco pulls Johnny to his feet and plants him in the middle of the ring, then turns and nails Attitude Adjuster from behind sending him out of the ring to the floor. The Defenestrators leave the ring and drag AA toward one of the glass panes. JA panics in the middle of the ring, then motions to the audience, what the hell? Someone jumps the guardrail and runs around the ring……it’s Bobcat Goldthwait! You may remember him from such movies as Hot to Trot, Police Academy 4 and One Crazy Summer. Anyway, Goldthwait rushes up to the window with Johnny, they get there first and Goldthwait screams at the glass, the glass vibrates, then shatters just as the Defenestrators throw AA at it! It doesn’t count! The Defenestrators stand and stare in disbelief! Ecosystem runs after Goldthwait, but AA trips him up. Johnny circles back around the ring and pastes Voltage with a chair shot to the back of the skull, then turns and fires him through a window! The Chickenshit Heels retain!
WINNERS in 40:09 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Chickenshit Heels
FIRECHILD vs. SPIN HANSEN – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchAfter yet another brief intermission to clean up the glass,
Spin Hansen comes to the ring, completely focused on the task at hand. His rivalry with Firechild is quickly blossoming into one of the more heated rivalries in the OOWF. Spin comes to the ring and paces like a cage animal waiting for Firechild to make his entrance. Finally the lights dim and
Firechild heads to the ring getting a decidedly mixed reaction. He appears to ignore the crowd and instead remains intensely focused on Spin Hansen. FC slides under the ropes and hands the referee his title, never once taking his eyes off of Spin. They go nose to nose in the center of the ring as the referee calls for the bell. They begin jawing at each other and it gets more and more animated. Finally, inevitably, it comes to blows as both men trade haymakers in the center of the ring. Spin swings wildly and Firechild ducks it, hits the ropes and connects with a knee to the back of Spin’s leg that drops him to one knee, clutching at his knee in pain. Firechild gets to his feet and sends Spin to the mat with a kick to the back of the head. The fans boo this a little, but Firechild ignores it. He stretches Hansen’s leg out and drops several knees across the inside of his knee, then locks on a spinning toe hold. Hansen snarls at the ref when he asks him if he wants to quit. Firechild does the move again, and this time Spin small packages him for a two count. Both men are up pretty quick, but Firechild is a little faster and he connects with a kicks to the knee, then hits the ropes and takes Spin off his feet again with a chop block. Once again Firechild stomps away at Spin’s leg, this time dragging him over to the ropes and placing his leg on the bottom rope and using the leverage of the ropes to drop a couple of knees down on Spin’s knee. Firechild leaves the ring and drags Spin to the corner and pulls his leg out by the ring post, then slams his leg into the steel a few times. The crowd boos a little more, but Firechild keeps ignoring it. He grabs Spin’s legs and locks on a figure four leg lock around the post! Spin grimaces in pain, bit it wouldn’t matter if he submitted. The referee hits Firechild with a five count, and Firechild breaks the hold. Spin pulls himself back into the ring and gets to his feet and gingerly tries to walk on his injured knee. Firechild is back into the ring, and Spin charges, but Firechild catches him with a roll through single crab on the injured knee! Spin is in tremendous pain, but once again he won’t submit and he fights to the ropes to force the break. Firechild pulls Spin to his feet and tries to whip him to the ropes, Spin takes two steps and his knee buckles and he falls to the mat and grabs his knee in pain. Firechild starts to approach Spin, but then sees a genuine look of pain on Spin’s face so he backs off. A second referee comes to the ring and they look at Spin’s knee and help the big man to his feet. Firechild looks at Spin and starts the crowd with a round of applause, when he turns to the crowd to motivate them, Spin shoves the referees aside and charges across the ring and spears Firechild damn near out of his boots when he turns back around! Now the crowd firmly boos Hansen. Hansen is on top of Firechild raining clubbing shots down on his face. The referee has to pull Spin off of Firechild or disqualify him, Firechild rolls out of the ring to the floor, but Spin gives him no rest at all. He grabs Firechild and sends him hard into the stairs, back first. Firechild grimaces in pain and falls to the floor, Spin drops rapid fire elbows right across the small of Firechild’s back, then grabs him, plants a knee in his back and yanks back on his head! Spin breaks the hold to slide back into the ring and break the count, when he comes back out, he scoops Firechild up and runs him back first into the ring post, then hefts him up and slams him on the floor. Spin measures Firechild and waits for him to get up, standing against the guardrail, Spin clears an area and charges, clothes lining Firechild, but not taking him over the barricade, just bending him back the wrong way. FC falls to the floor in agony, Spin hops back over the railing and throws Firechild into the ring. Spin is limping a bit, but he has Firechild right where he wants him. He sends FC to the ropes and catches him with a brutal spine buster. FC is in agony. Now it is Spin’s turn to roll Firechild over in a Boston Crab, trying for the submission. Firechild howls in pain, but won’t submit his title. He fights and claws his way to the ropes to force the break. Spin pulls Firechild up and whips him as hard as he can into three of the turnbuckles, as Firechild comes out of the third one, Spin hefts him up on his shoulders in a backbreaker, Spin spins around the ring trying to snap Firechild in half and inadvertently Firechild’s boot hits referee Gavin Hale and sends him to the corner. Almost immediately Sterling Glaw heads to the ring, but he is cut off by Mel Creetch. Creetch gets into the ring just as it looks like Firechild is about to submit, but Hansen’s knee buckles, legitimately this time and both men fall to the mat! In the pile of bodies both men’s shoulders are down on the mat! Hale comes to and makes a three count just as Creetch makes a three count as well! What the hell? Both men get to their feet and Creetch raises Spin’s arm and Hale raises Firechild’s arm. Well come on guys, only one man can be the winner. The referees confer with each other, it gets a bit animated, and Sterling Glaw comes all the way down and joins the conversation, Creetch looks at him with a bit of surprise, wonder what he said. Glaw turns to the announcer, and this is what we hear:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the official result of this match is that it was deemed a tie by both officials. However, in the result of a dual pin fall, a champion cannot lose his title. Therefore, the winner of the match in 17:39 and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion – FirechildFirechild rolls out of the ring, grabs his title and heads up the ramp, he raises the title above his head, then grabs his back in pain. Spin Hansen stands in the center of the ring glaring at Firechild with a look of murderous rage on his face. Just when it appears that he is going to explode, he gets a smirk on his face and heads to the back.
<we cut to the back where we see Concrete TG heading to the ring for his OOWF World Heavyweight Title defense, he passes a dejected Nayr sitting on a pile of crates>
CTG: There you are
Nayr: Yeah here I am.
CTG: Look, Citizen Nayr, I am deeply sorry about your title loss. That nefarious Moosehead Jack WILL BE PUNISHED for his misdeed.
Nayr: You know Crete, just stop. Where were you and Firechild?
CTG: We were getting ready for our title defenses. Really Nayr, we didn’t think you needed our help tonight. Hey, don’t get down, you get a rematch against Knife one on one, you can beat him. You are pure of heart! Hey look, I gotta run, after my match tonight, me, you and Firechild will discuss some strategy.
<Crete walks off to defend his title leaving Nayr by himself>
Nayr: Pure of heart. It takes more than that doesn’t it? <Nayr appears to have had an epiphany> Yeah, it does. And he was right. There is one way to do this, and He knows what it is. I have to find Cole, and then we can find Him! Nayr hops off the crates, strips out of his ring gear and leaves it stacked neatly on top of the crates and walks off butt naked. As he is headed toward the exit, a strange look on his face, he passes Stank who is on his way to the ring for his title match
Nayr: Stank, I want you to know there are no hard feelings. In some ways you are misguided, in others you are right.
Stank: Why are you naked, and why the hell are we doing this again?
Nayr: It’s ok, sometimes you can be awake with your eyes closed. Suddenly it makes sense. He was right. I need to find them both.
Stank: You are naked. A naked Paladin. Why?
Nayr: its freedom Stank. Its all freedom. I must go now
<Nayr walks away>
Stank: WHY ARE YOU NAKED?
I don’t need this crap.
I don’t need this crap.