OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Bagdad Florida
<Sorry for the late card, I lost my internet for 12 hours yesterday>
F. FONZWORTH CAPPINGTON III vs. CHRIS ALTCappington comes to the ring first, sneering at the crowd the entire way. Lance follows Cappington and they climb on the apron, Cappington has Lance disinfect the mat before he will climb between the ropes. He waits in the corner and looks completely put off by the whole ordeal. The lights go low, and we hear his music play, and CHRIS ALT comes to the top of the ramp! The crowd goes crazy as he makes his triumphant return to the ring. Alt comes down the aisle and slaps hands with the fans, then rolls under the bottom rope and soaks in the fans cheers as they chant CHRIS ALT, CHRIS ALT, CHRIS ALT! He takes a moment too long to appreciate the fans, and FFC3 attacks him from behind. Cappington nails Alt in the back of the head with a double ax handle. Cappington pulls Alt to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Alt spins through and drops him with a DDT on the mat. Cappington rolls under the bottom rope and heads to the floor to have Lance checks his head for damage. Alt gets a running start and leaps over the top rope but Cappington catches him and turns it into a choke slam! Cappington rolls Alt back into the ring and follows, dropping an elbow across his chest and covering, but Alt rolls his shoulder at two. Cappington yells at the referee, then pulls Alt to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon, Alt kicks him in the chops standing him up, then nailing Cappington with a clothesline! Cappington staggers but does not go down. Alt hits the ropes and connects with a perfect dropkick to the mouth that sends Cappington to the mat. Alt climbs to the top rope and waits, perched there, for Cappington to get up, he does and Alt leaps and tries a sunset flip, but can’t get the larger Cappington over. Cappington tries the Large Man Sit Out Of Doom, but Alt moves out of the way, hits the ropes and connects with a stiff kick to the back of Cappington’s head, then bounces off the ropes once again and plants a knee to Cappington’s chest. Alt covers, but can only get a two count. Lance jumps up on the apron and Alt runs across the ring and grabs him and threatens to end his life. Cappington is on his feet, he charges across the ring aiming for Alt, but Alt moves out of the way and Cappington nearly kills Lance, sending him flying off the apron and into the steel guard rail. Alt climbs to the second rope and hits Cappington with a BULLDOG! The fans are cheering Alt on as he pulls Cappington to his feet and sets him up for the Spinal Contusion! But before he can hit it, Defenestrators are in the ring with chairs!!! They hammer Alt in the back, then put the boots to him, and slam the chairs down on his ribs. Cappington is up to his feet as HARDBODY HARRIS limps to the ring, heavily bandaged from the pay per view. Harris gets cut off by Cappington, and he and the Defenestrators turn on him too, putting the boots to Harris. Finally, the crowd roars and Capellan and Viper run to the ring. They slide under the ropes and LOADED bails out. Cappington grabs Lance and throws him over his shoulder and Cap and Viper help Alt and Harris to their feet. Finally the result of this one is announced.
WINNER by Disqualification in 7:34 – Chris Alt
CAPELLAN & VIPER vs. DEFENESTRATORSCap & Viper play paper, rock, scissors to decide who starts and Viper wins with rock to Capellan’s scissors. Viper turns and sees Ecosystem waiting to lock up, but Eco stops, smiles and makes the 1-2-3 gesture for his own game of paper, rock, scissors. Viper seems confused then nods. They do the 1-2-3 and Viper goes for a scissors, but Ecosystem unfolds his hand as paper, and slaps Viper across the face! Viper is staggered, and Ecosystem takes him down with a Uranage. Ecosystem straddles Viper and starts punching into his face. Viper rolls over and starts wailing away on Ecosystem, but Voltage jumps in and comes off the ropes with a Shining Wizard knocking Viper onto his back. The referee orders Voltage back into his corner, as Ecosystem drags Viper across to the ropes and chokes him, releasing just as Voltage meekly goes back under the ropes, after debating with the referee for a minute. Viper is almost choked out and Ecosystem picks him up for a hanging suplex and plants Viper in the middle of the ring, then makes a great show of tagging Voltage in. Voltage climbs to the top rope and nails an Electrocution onto the downed Viper. Voltage picks Viper up and sets him up for a Circuitry Breaker, but Viper twists out and seamlessly hits a Sidewinder! Both men are down, and we get HOT TAGS to Capellan and Ecosystem. Capellan comes charging in, and ducks Ecosystem’s elbow block, and waffles him with a flurry of super stiff kicks. The crowd is loving this as Capellan takes Ecosystem’s feet away from under him and then nimbly jumps to the top rope. Capellan signals for the Sun Tzu Flip, but Voltage runs across the apron, and pushes him to the floor. Capellan lands hard and seems to have twisted his ankle. Voltage follows up with a cactus Jack-esque elbow off the apron onto the downed Capellan. Viper is still slumped at ringside as he rolls the dazed and injured Capellan back into the ring. Ecosystem lifts him up and sets him up for the Endgame, when F Fonzworth Cappington III, and his manservant Lance come onto the stage and walk down to ringside. Ecosystem drops Capellan and goes to the apron to high five Cappington, and Voltage runs up to him outside the ring. Cappington makes high fives Ecosystem then motions for him to watch behind him, Ecosystem turns round, and eats a Death Elbow from the recovered Viper! Eco staggers against the ropes, and Capellan is helped to his feet by Viper and they hit a double team Vindicator onto Eco! Capellan rolls over for the cover! Voltage grabs Cappington’s cane and slides in to makes the save, but he is one second too late and the referee makes1-2-3!
WINNERS via pin fall in 11:11 – Capellan & Viper
After the match, Cap and Viper celebrate in the center of the ring and Defenestrators attack them from behind! Eco drops Cap with a DDT, and Voltage nails Viper with a super kick. The Defenestrators are joined in the ring by F. Fonzworth Cappington III. He pulls Viper and Cap up from the mat one by one and hits them wit Cash Money Choke slams. Defenestrators leave the ring and rummage around on the outside, and return with two windows! What are they going to do? Cappington pulls Viper to his feet, the Defenestrators are going to hit him with a Con-Win-Do! OH GOD NO!! They have him lined up when CHRIS ALT and a heavily bandaged HARDBODY HARRIS hit the ring with chairs! LOADED hightails it out of the ring, and the BFF stand and beg them to come back as the crowd goes nuts!
KNIFE vs. DAVIN MORELAND vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchAll three men enter the ring, and take up a corner each. Knife looking apprehensive, despite wearing the title, Davin looking determined and Moose looking complacently apathetic. The bell rings and Moreland and Knife nod at each other and rush towards Moose. Moose grins and knocks the onrushing Knife down with a haymaker, but Moreland evades his swing and nails him with a Kinda Good Diamond Cutter for 1-2 No! Moose gets up, now looking more than a little annoyed, and charges at Moreland. Moreland gives ground as Moose advances, swinging punches. Moreland is pressed against the ropes and Moose goes for a spinning chop to the throat, but Moreland ducks only for Moose to nail him with a Heart Punch! Moreland crumples, and Moose turns to see where the Knife is and eats a Stab super kick. Moore goes down with glazed eyes, but falls into the ropes, and Knife has to drag him back into the ring for a 2 count. Knife slides over to Moreland and again gets a two count, as Moose rolls out of the ring. Knife gets to his feet and starts stalking Moreland for Stab but Moose grabs his ankle, taking his attention to the outside. Moreland recovers and charges Knife, clothes lining both of them over the top rope and onto Moose. Moose rolls aside, and picks up the ring bell, and swings it for Knife’s head. Knife ducks, so Moose swings for Moreland, who also ducks. Moose is left open and takes a Slash kick to the gut, followed by a Pretty God Diamond Cutter to leave him down on the outside. Knife is about to slide back into the ring, when Moreland shouts a suggestion. Knife likes it and jumps back down, and they both grab chairs. Moose is groggily getting to his feet, when he gets taken out with two consecutive chair shots. At that point the referee decides the match has gone too far and calls it off as a No Contest. Moreland and Knife eye each other warily and wander to the back, but Moose is crumpled on the floor, for some reason grinning from ear to ear…..
WINNER in 5:12 – No Contest
<Moosehead Jack comes back to the ring with two pieces on a clip board, he rolls under the ring and waits for the boos to die down.>
I am gonna fill you people in on a little secret. When the OOWF formed in 2004, everyone who started with the company signed a three year contract. Now, there are not many of us left anymore, but all of the originals are under new contracts – except for one. Now, some of you may be wondering who that is. Let me refresh your memory on a few things. Think back to a time about ten years ago, there was a very popular world champion who was being wooed by another company. See, the big fear is that the champion would take his title, and show up in a rival promotion. Well we have that very same problem here in the OOWF. <crowd murmurs> That’s right, you’re good guy, you’re hero, Mister Do-The-Right-Thing Concrete TG is using his position of champion to negotiate with another promotion. He is the ONLY one who has not signed his contract <the crowd boos and Moose eats it up, Concrete TG’s music hits and he rushes to the ring>
CTG: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
MHJ: Ohh Crete, such language for a hero!
CTG: <seething> Moose you have gone too far this time
MHJ: Hurts, cause it is true, isn’t it Crete?
CTG: No, it is not true Moose. I just haven’t signed yet. I have been busy
MHJ: Busy negotiating with another company, admit it
CTG: So help me Moose, I ought to….
MHJ: <getting real close to Crete> You ought to what? Hit me? Come on Crete, go ahead. Hit me. Be the hero we all know you are. Hit me, you know you want to.
<Crete trembles with rage>
MHJ: Just as I thought, you don’t have the balls, you never did.
CTG: I want that contract.
MHJ: Well I don’t know Crete, maybe not just yet. You seem to have a wandering eye. Lets make things interesting
CTG: NO! No more mind games, no more of your crap Jack. Give me the contract so I can sign it and the people will know I am 100% OOWF
MHJ: From where I stand Crete, you are in no position to make demands. But I have a little proposition here. What I have here in my hand is a contract. Its all legal. It’s me cashing in my Purposely Vague Promise from GM the Rick. You say you are 100% OOWF Crete? Well now you can prove that, and you will have the chance to do something you have always wanted to do
CTG: What?
MHJ: Get rid of me. For good. Once and for all.
<CTG just stares at Moose>
MHJ: What I propose Crete is a one on one match for Hell on Earth III, you and me, Loser Leaves the OOWF – forever. Whaddya say Crete, you up to the challenge?
<Crete ponders it for a second and then grabs the clip board from Moose and signs the paper and gives it back to Moose, Moose flips the paper and reads it over, tears off a copy for himself, laughs then drops it to the mat and leaves the ring. Concrete remains in the center of the ring frozen in rage. Moose gets about halfway up the ramp and speaks>
MHJ: Oh, Crete, you might want to check what you just signed a little closer. <Crete picks up the clipboard and carefully reads the sheet, then closes his eyes in a silent scream> Seems like you will never learn. That one on one match? Yeah, that’s not happening. That was the bait, and you bit. No Concrete, this is so much better. At Hell On Earth III, you get a Gauntlet match against Spin Hansen, Stank and Moosehead Jack for the OOWF World Heavyweight title. Have fun with that.
<Crete turns around and throws the clipboard at Moose, but misses. Jack drops the mic and walks to the back laughing the whole way.>
THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. LOS DEFENESTRATORS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchWe return and the champs and Phantos & Lucios are in the ring. UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO! SINCO! SES! It's Los Defenestratores...or is it? No, that's Voltage and Ecosystem.
Voltage: We want in this title match!
Ecosystem: Way to go, dude. Totally bitchin'.
Voltage: ...are we doing this skit again?
Ecosystem: Way to go, dude. Totally bitchin'.
Voltage: Just go stand in the corner, OK?
[Los Defenestratores are out behind the Defenestrators.]
El Ecosistema: Si.
[Ecosistema and Ecosystem go off to the corner.]
Volt: So, once I've won the Black Sabbath ti-
El Voltage: ¿Quién son Black Sabbath?
Volt: ANYWAY, once I've unified these belts into the TRIPLE CROWN...DDT...IRON MAN...HEAVY METAL TITLE, I will be the most acclaimed wrestler in all of OOWF history! Three belts at once!
FFC: Pretty sure a dead sparrow held that title. 4 times.
Volt: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP FOLLOWING ME AROUND?! WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THE DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL TITLE? I'M NOT EVEN IN THIS MATCH!
FFC: Uh dude, I was about to buy you into it.
Volt: Right. So, does that go down?
GMtheRick: Uh, no.
Eco: Where did you come from?
GMtheRick: Me? I stand behind the curtain all night waiting to make shocking announcements at 2 seconds notice. Also drinking.
FFC: So, uh, what happens now?
GMtR: Only one guy can solve this problem. DAVIN! ATTACK!
[Davin Moreland comes out and with one hand throws FFC, Eco, Voltage, Los Defenestratores, Ric Flair and half the audience into the San Francisco bay. Ticket sales have fallen.]
AA: So are Los Defenestratores in this match or not?
JA: Well, they are Mexican, they ARE good at swimming...
[Boos.]
GMtR: Who cares, ring the bell. I've got a date with some scotch.
THE MATCH IS UNDERWAY!
Adrenaline starts with Phantos, I think. Yes, that's Phantos, not to be confused with Vegemite or Matthew Pavlich. Just saying. Standard feeling-out process, hip toss into an arm lock by JA, Phantos cartwheels into a kip-up and there's an indy mutual respect pose moment. How sweet. JA tags out to Attitude Adjuster, who puts his Subway away to get in the ring with Lucios, and it's on like Health Minister Neale Fong. AA off the ropes, shoulder block! Lucios gets to his feet and tries again, this time bouncing off Capps. A third attempt here, and both run off the ropes, stereo clothesline! Both men are down.
Adrenaline and Phantos, meanwhile, are fighting outside the ring. Punches by Adrenaline, elbows by Phantos! This is crazy action the likes of which haven't been seen since...uh...Generic Tag Team battle in 2002! Johnny takes Phantos into the crowd, BACKDROP ONTO A CHAIR! Christ. Inside the ring, it's no better, AA barely keeping the advantage with some heavy hits. Body slam into an elbow drop, 1, 2, NO! He's calling for the end already! Why so? Possibly TV time constraints! He's headed to the top rope...someone's come out of the crowd! It's a seaweed-covered El Voltaje! He crotches AA on the top rope, could it be? OLEADA DE ENERGIA CONNECTS! It could be all over! 1, 2, broken up by Lucios! He's El Ecosistema, and the Defenestrators are here at ringside as well! Here comes the El Defenestration Total on AA! Connects! Voltaje and Ecosistema go for the double pin fall! 1, Lucios attempts the break-up, 2, ECOSYSTEM NAILS LUCIOS WITH A BRICK!!!, 3? LOS DEFENESTRATORES WIN THE TAG TITLES!
Mel Creech: Your winners as a result of a disqualification...uh...Phantos and Lucios! Ecosistema: QUE?!
Mel Creech: Ecosystem nailed Lucios with a brick. You guys are disqualified. Champions retain.
El Voltaje: Escucha el sir, tú es hermoso pero estás perdiendo nuestro tiempo. Volver por favor la correa a mi colega.
(Listen sir, you are handsome but you are wasting our time. Please return the belt to my colleague.)
Volt: Right on, amigo. So, as I was saying, after I win the Black Sabbath titl-
Volt: Black Sabbath. Iron Man. Latter is a song by the former.
Eco: I like that, let's go with it.
Volt: Just go sta-WAIT A MINUTE! Not this crap again! Let's go!
[The Defenestrators, Los Defenestratores and Phantos/Lucios leave. TCH pose with their belts to a healthy chorus of boos. Fade to commercial!]
FIRECHILD vs. SPIN HANSEN vs. JW WESTGAARD vs. OUTBACK JACK – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchJ.W. Westgaard, Outback Jack, Spin Hansen, and Intercontinental Champion Firechild all make their standard ring entrances. Referee Mel Creech calls for the bell, and we’re under way. Spin immediately goes after FC as Jack targets JWW. They back their opponents into opposite corners and Irish whip them across the ring at each other. JWW ducks low and FC springboards off his back, launching into a leg lariat that takes Jack down as JWW takes Spin out at the knees. JWW rolls Spin over and drives several punches into his head, but the big man throws him off and climbs to his feet. JWW gets some more shots in, but can’t keep the advantage, and Spin muscles him over with a belly-to-belly suplex, following up with a leg drop and a cover that gets two. FC, meanwhile, is attempting to chop Jack down to size, repeatedly attacking his legs. He drives Jack to one knee, but Jack explodes into a brutal clothesline that turns FC inside out before falling to the mat, clutching his leg. JWW sees Jack go down, rakes Spins eyes, and pounces, wrenching Jack’s injured leg and trying for a submission. Spin shakes off the pain, walks over and casually kicks JWW in the back of the head, and continues on to FC, driving an elbow into his throat and making the cover. Mel counts two before JWW falls on Spin to break it up. Spin and JWW get to their feet and start swinging. Spin gets the advantage until JWW notices that Mel is checking on Jack, and delivers a vicious kick to little Spin and the boys, followed by a DDT. He covers, but FC manages to break it up. JWW is up and grabs FC, spiking him with a brain buster and rolling through for the cover. Spin breaks that up at two. Spin pounds away at JWW, trying to drive his head through the mat. He picks JWW up and slings him to the ropes, planting him with a spine buster. Before he can cover, FC tries to drop an elbow on him. Spin moves, and the elbow hits JWW. Spin grabs FC and launches him over the top rope to the outside, then turns around into a clothesline from Jack that deposits both men on the floor. Spin gets slowly to his feet and eats a dropkick from FC, who slides back into the ring, but Jack grabs his ankle and drags him back out again. Jack pummels FC until FC gets in a kick to his bad knee. FC slams Jack’s face into the apron, then drives his shoulder into Jack’s bad leg, taking him off his feet. FC turns around a ducks a clothesline from Spin. Spin turns, and both men are taken down by a slingshot plancha by JWW. JWW throws FC into the railing, then gets kicked in the midsection as he moves in. FC goes for a suplex but JWW reverses, dropping FC stomach first on the railing. Spin, meanwhile, has pulled Jack up and goes for an Irish whip as well, but Jack’s leg gives out and he falls, in the process reversing the whip and sending Spin crashing into JWW, who is squashed against the railing. As they fall backwards, FC hops the railing, but runs face-first into Jack’s fist, which sends him toppling back into the crowd. JWW and Spin stagger to their feet on either side of Jack. JWW attacks, but Jack dives forward and JWW hits Spin. Jack makes it to the ring and just manages to pull himself under the bottom rope as Mel reaches 10.
WINNER by countout, in 18:37, Outback Jack.
CONCRETE TG vs. UNDERDAWG vs. LD WILLIAMS vs. STANK = OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchStank enters the arena first, followed by L.D. Williams, and then Underdawg. Williams and UD exchange words, but Stank simply glares at the entrance as Concrete TG makes his way down the aisle and steps into the ring. As the men make their entrances the came a pans across the crowd, and there sitting in the front row, is that Canadian Dragon? Referee Mel Creech holds the Championship up, and then darts out of the way of a charging Stank. Creech frantically calls for the bell as Stank spears CTG into the turnbuckles. Stank rocks the champion with brutal punches and slams the back of his head into the turnbuckle. Meanwhile, Williams storms across the ring to tackle Underdawg, who sidesteps. Williams hits the ropes and tries to attack, but gets clubbed back into the corner. UD grabs Williams by the throat and pins him in place, barking something at him. Williams hesitates, then nods once. UD releases him and together they rush across the ring and attack. They hit Stank from behind, and manage to knock him through the ropes to the floor. Williams slides out of the ring and runs Stank head first into the ring steps. He delivers a swift kick to the head and slides into the ring, where UD has CTG staggered. They take turns punching the champion, then take him over with a tandem suplex. They throw CTG across the ring and take him down with a flapjack, only to be leveled in turn by a clothesline from the returning Stank. Stank throws Williams out of the ring and grabs for CTG, who rolls to the outside. UD clubs Stank in the back of the head and tries to lock on the Dawgmission, but Stank fights back with an elbow to the solar plexus. They exchange punches and Stank gets the advantage. He pummels UD, avalanching him in the corner and Gorilla pressing the big man before slamming him to the mat. On the outside, Williams is up first. He snap suplexes CTG on the floor, then drives his back into the ring railing before dragging him to the Argentinean announce table. Williams goes for a pile driver through the table, but CTG backdrops out. Seeing Stank in control of UD, CTG slides back into the ring. Stank reacts to a sixth sense, suddenly dropping out of the way of CTG’s enzugiri from behind, causing it to level UD. Stank grabs CTG’s legs and plants him with a wheelbarrow suplex, but CTG kicks out before the three. Williams slides back into the ring and exchanges punches with Stank, who gains the upper hand. CTG moves to get involved, but UD hooks him from behind and tries for a dragon sleeper. CTG rolls in his grip and reverses into a northern lights suplex. Stank stops in mid punch and dives over to break it up, driving an elbow into CTG’s midsection and knocking the wind out of him. He tries for a cover, but Williams kicks him off. Williams rolls Stank over and goes for the STF, but as he ties up the legs CTG bulldogs him, driving his skull into Stank’s. CTG returns his attention to UD. CTG slips behind him with a hammerlock, but an elbow to the face breaks it up. CTG ducks a haymaker and drives his shoulder into UD’s midsection, pushing him back into the corner. CTG stuns UD with a few chops, then goes for an Irish whip. UD reverses, and connects with a sick clothesline in the opposite corner. CTG stumbles out of the corner and UD scoops him up for the Fireplug Pile driver, but Stank and Williams each grab a leg, pulling him off his feet. CTG lands on top and gets a two count before UD kicks out.
Williams and Stank are still having trouble clearing the cobwebs, so CTG goes on the attack. He takes Williams down with the Final Justice and makes the cover, but UD breaks it up at two. UD hammers CTG with punches and a body slam before drilling him to the mat with a choke slam. He starts to cover, but sees Stank coming and turns, nailing him in the stomach. UD takes Stank down with a big boot, and comes off the ropes with a leg drop. Seeing that he still isn’t out, UD scrapes Stank up and gestures to Williams, who is just getting unsteadily to his feet. Williams comes over and they spike Stank with a tandem DDT. They turn their attention to CTG and take him over with a suplex. Williams, holding his head, pulls CTG to his feet and yells at UD. Williams pins CTG’s arms behind him as UD hits the ropes. UD delivers a big boot, but CTG slides out of the way and it connects with William’s face. Williams goes down like he’s been shot, and CTG falls on top of him, instinctively hooking the leg. UD hesitates, looking at Williams, and is speared by Stank hard enough to drive both men across the ring and into the ropes. By the time they disentangle themselves, Mel’s hand is hitting the mat for the third time.
WINNER and still OOWF champion, in 27:36, Concrete TG.
After the three count, LD Williams gets to his feet and charges over to UnderDawg and shoves him hard enough that he falls through the ropes to the floor. Williams follows him and they brawl up the ramp, trading haymakers the whole way. Inside the ring, a groggy Concrete TG gets to his feet and sees Stank standing across from him. Crete appears to be trying to explain his actions at the pay per view. Stank does not move, but just stands there looking at Crete with his arms crossed. Crete appears to be about to give up, when suddenly he is spun around, kicked low CANADIAN DESTROYER!!! Canadian Dragon gets to his feet and stands over a fallen Crete and stares at him for a moment. Dragon then looks over at Stank. The two men don’t say a word. Dragon leaves and heads to the back, Stank leaves the ring and grabs the OOWF world heavyweight title and climbs back into the ring. He looks at the belt lovingly for a moment, then drapes it across the prone champion’s body, and we fade to black.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Hell on Earth III Pay Per View! Live! From Dayton, Ohio! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! September 5th from Hogansville, Georgia!
For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Tar-Jack-Fire-Crete-Ryan-Cap-Loki Production Company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.
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