OOWF MidWeek Mayhem 09-12-07

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Friar's Point, Mississippi

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Concrete TG vs. Canadian Dragon

Non-Title Match[/u]
Firechild vs. Outback Jack

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Chickenshit Heels vs. Phantos & Lucios

OOWF Onslaught Championship Three Way Dance[/u]
Knife vs. Davin Moreland vs. Moosehead Jack

#1 Contenders Match - Winner Gets a Title Shot Next Week[/u]
Stank vs. LD Williams

JW Westgaard vs. Spin Hansen
Capellan & Viper, Chris Alt & Hardbody Harris vs. Defenestrators, F. Fonzworth Cappington & UnderDawg
Los Defenestrators vs. Apocalyptic Bastards

Card subject to delta blues

[mooseheadjack]

AA and Johnny are leaving the Hogansville Arena when they see the card for next week in FRIAR'S POINT, MISSISSIPPI! But because they're still in Hogansville and there's no one around, they get no cheap pop from saying the next town's name.

AA: So we're facing Phantos and Lucios again? We just beat them. I mean, we actually pinned them. That makes them, like, jobbers. Why do they get another title shot?

JA: Maybe everyone is afraid of us. Maybe that's why they're all in the never-ending promo. They all fear us.

AA: Yeah, I didn't get that at all. They must have got that idea from the Box O Promos when the Bag was out of commission. I think Sabu must have tweaked it or something. Maybe I'll take the Box O Promos to the chiropractor.

JA: You're going to take the Box O Promos to your chiropractor?

AA: Sure, he'll straighten it out.

(Panned crowd laughter.)

JA: By the way, what's with the canned crowd laughter? We've never needed canned laughter.

AA: We use to have time to cut promos, too.

JA: Yeah, and look what happened around here without us.

AA: I take it ratings are falling, too?

JA: According to the Nielsens, the only show we beat this week was Riding Donkeys with the PBS TV Castoffs.

AA: Ouch.

JA: So, are we going to cut a promo or just stand around chatting aimlessly?

AA: Well, I thought Mentos and Lugie might attack us to make this feud interesting, but I guess they're too busy watching gay wrestling tape with Hardbody.

(Canned laughter.)

JA: What's up with Hardbody, anyway. He and Alt are acting like faces, and they're fighting LOADED, who--if they're heels--aren't acting much like them. I mean, they're making people laugh. And besides, we've never liked FFC...

AA: The Third. What the hell is that anyway? Capslock never had any money.

JA: Damn, AA. How many times do I have to tell you. It's a gimmick change! He's a rich guy now!

AA: Do we still hate him?

JA: I'm not sure.

AA: But we don't like Voltage and Eco, and we don't like Alt and Harris. And they don't like each other now.

JA: Which is why we're facing Lancer and Pukio. That way the fans won't get confused as to whether we're heels or faces. We had enough of that already. Wrestling fans aren't smart enough to deal with our false tweener status. The Rick WILL NOT UMAGA US!

AA: So are we done here? After all, it doesn't look like we're going to get attacked tonight.

JA: Lazy ass opponents.

AA: Yeah. Man, gotta do all the heavy lifting ourselves. Like we don't have enough to do, what with saving the company and all.

JA: Yeah, when are we going to get around to that angle?

AA: After we get through the "AA Doesn't Get His Gambling Winnings From The Nigerians" angle, but before the "Teased Tag Team Breakup" angle.

JA: We're going to do the tag team breakup angle? Cool!

AA: Yeah, but first we have to get Capslock a tag team partner. It's only fun when we're messing with FFC.

AA and JA walk to their car, get in and drive away. The camera pans back about 20 feet, where we find Phantos and Lucios sprinting into the picture.

Lucios: Shoot! I told you the OOWF-TV wasn't live. But would you listen to me? No! "We have lots of time to attack them," you said. We missed our chance, Phantos!

Phantos: Damn!

Phantos feels someone tapping him on his shoulder. He turns to find Ron Simmons glaring at him. Phantos turns to face Ron Simmons. Ron looks like he's about to hit his trademark statement, but instead suddenly nails Phantos with a ROCK BOTTOM ON THE GARAGE FLOOR!

Simmons stares at Phantos.

Phantos: Why did you do that? You're only supposed to say "Damn."

RS: That's only in that other fed. Sucker Vince always keeping the black man down!

The Rick walks by, whiskey bottle in hand, stops and surveys the wreckage.

TR: Nice job, Ron.

RS: Thanks, boss.

[mooseheadjack]

Firechild is caught leaving the arena by roving reporrter Gregory Helms.

GH- Firechild, how do you respond to those who are defaming your good name by saying that you are IN ACTUAL FACT playing for all these disqualifications and count out endings that have characterised your recent matchups (pause for breath) in order to retain your title, in an entirely (pause from breath) unheroic manner more characteristic of your previous tenure as a cheating, yet succesful member of the 3 Piece Set.

FC- Whatever?

GH- Whassupwitdat?

FC- You asked how I respond, and I repond to anyone who says that with 'whatever' - I don't care about what other people have to say about me. You see this lump (points to huge lump on forehead) - this comes from getting twatted with a hockey stick, please explain how that would fit into my eveil masterplan to retain my title?

GH- I was just looking for a journalistic....

FC- Shut up Greg, if your gonna throw a mike in my face and look for soundbytes, then here they are. I joined the Heroes Guild under my own terms to help clean up the OOWF and now it seems that the smwear campaign by Moose and his kind seems to be taking hold.

GH- So what are you gonna do about that?

FC-I've got two questions. First to Concrete TG, and the rest of the Heroes Guild. Do you still have my back? Are you willing to fight side by side with me. Because if not, then I'm gonna have to do things my way, but if they have the sand to stand beside me, we can purge this place of all the negatives that thrive hera.

GH- Strong words Flame....

FC- I'm not finished. My second question is this, and it goes out to any and all those who have been my detractors, to Moosehead Jack, Stank or Spin Hansen....whoever. If you want to call names a say I'm a coward, and a cheat, and a man not of my word, or of similar low motrals to yourself, then I offer you a shot at this (brandishes the Intercontinental Title) in a no rules match, that's no DQ, no rope breaks, weapons allowed, anythng goes, first fall wins. Just so they can't bitch like the whiny children they are. And then when I beat them they have to shut the fuck up. End of.

Firechild looks pointedly into the camera, no catchphrase, or trademark grin, just a hard look, then stalks off.

GH- Tough talking from Intercontinental Champion Firechild there, this is Gregory Helms, roving reporter signing off.
(whoosh)

[mooseheadjack]

Phantos & Lucios arrive at the arena in Mississippi

Lucios: We had them. We just need to prepare a little more this week.

Phantos: Man, I’m gonna kick Ron Simmons teeth in!

L: Give it a rest man, does it matter now? We tried to ambush Adrenaline and AA, and got thwarted by a one-word wonder. Things happen.

P: Things ALWAYS happen to us here. We should go back to Singapore. Or maybe Taiwan.

L: Listen, things take time. Did you expect to walk in here and win Championships immediately? Of course not. It has only been two months. We have done a lot. We are looking at our second one-on-one shot and third overall already. Remember, it took us almost 4 months in New Zealand to win Gold there, and the competition is MUCH stronger here.

P: We haven’t won a single PPV match. And we STILL haven’t been able to hit the Dropkick Device in a match yet.

L: Take it easy man. Our PPV losses have been insignificant. With the video library that LD loaned me on the tag teams here, we WILL break through and get significant victories soon.

P: We better man, I’m getting tired of these crappy last-second losses.

L: I have an idea, let’s go see Rick.

P: Rick? You’re kidding man. He won’t even talk to us.

L: He will listen. I have an idea.

P: He’s going to blow a gasket when we walk in.

L: We’ll bring a bottle of whiskey with us. LD said Rick’s been hitting the sauce a little hard lately, with Concrete’s contract situation still unresolved.

P: Speaking of LD, weren’t those some VICIOUS chair shots her gave UnderDawg last week?

L: Very. He is an interesting fellow Mr. Williams is.

P: (pauses) you think Ric’s is set up yet? I need a sandwich.

L: yeah, I’m sure it is.

(They turn a corner and walk into Ron Simmons. Simmons is carrying a Ric’s Sandwich and a beer. Lucios sees him first and grabs his partner by the arm, preventing him from attacking Simmons.)

L: A word of advice, Ron. Do not interfere with our business again. You might be a legend around here, but I will have no problems destroying you along with Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster.

P: (having to be restrained still) YOU NO GOOD PUNK!

(Lucios drags his partner away. Simmons pauses as if about to speak. He opens his mouth, pauses again, takes a bite out of his sandwich and walks away)

[mooseheadjack]

*Canadian Dragon is sitting in dark room on top of a ladder.*

CD: "A lot of people think the OOWF is a joke. A farce. That's it's the equivalent of a poorly booked, fantasy league run by a bunch of delusional smarks who want to make each other laugh. I disagree. As long as there are people like LD and myself, the OOWF is always 3 seconds away from respectability. The OOWF is 2 simple words "I Quit" away from having a champion that is repected around the world. Weapon X may no longer hold tag team gold...but our goals are still the same."

*Quick cut to a video montage of Dragon an LD against Crete.*

CD: "You've held the title for a long time Crete. And while others want to end you, and others want the title, no one man in the OOWF NEEDS the title as much as I do. Do I hate you Crete? With my very soul I do. Do I respect what you can do in the ring? I'd be a fool not to. But the fact remains, each night I go to sleep, the darkness takes over. Every night my mind thinks of one thing and one thing only...the OOWF World Heavyweight Title. I need the title Crete. It's not a matter of want, my life, my will, my very essence...it needs the title you devalue by being a corporate shill. By being a marketing ploy to get small children to buy toys.

*The room fills with light to show the walls covered in blood. Dragon is wearing white mask with blood soaking through, and is holding another mask.*

CD: "Oh it's true I wear a mask...one that I have earned. One that I wear out of respect to my time in Mexico and Japan. But you Crete...you think you are a hero. You think your values makes it OK to have a corrupt ref cost others the title. You think your image justifies your actions that cost your friends titles. You...you are not worthy of the mask you wear, you are not worthy of the cheers you receive, you...you are worthless. And that's why I must do what I plan on doing. That is why I must win the OOWF. My nightmare will end this week Crete...but yours? Your nightmare is just beginning."

*Camera fades to black.*

[mooseheadjack]

[Spin and Outback Jack are sitting in the Destroyitarium when Stank walks in.]

Spin - Oh shit! JACK! HIDE!

Stank - Relax. I think the never-ending promo has... ended.

Spin - Dude what the HELL was that all about?

Stank - Fuck if I know. Just be glad you guys weren't caught in it.

[Stank walks up to the bar and pours himself a beer.]

OBJ - Well mate so far... my tenure with you gents has paid off in beer, but short on titles. Your girlfriend Moose, hasn't really amounted to much either. I don't think he's won a single match since you started this campaign against those hero blokes.

Stank - He got rid of Nayr and He got Spin and I into the gauntlet match against Crete for the title.

OBJ - Sure, sure. But what good does that do ya if Dragon beats Crete, for the title, before the PPV?

Stank - Damn good question. I'm wondering just how Weapon X has shoehorned their way into MY title bid in the first place. I mean just WHAT did Canadian Dragon do to deserve a shot? And WHY am I fighting LD Williams in a number 1 contender's match? Fuck! As far as I'm concerned, I'M the uncrowned World champ! I've beaten Crete every time we've fought, if it weren't for GLAW that belt would be mine already! Now I have to fight LD for another shot?

Spin - You're forgetting something.

Stank - What?

Spin - Weapon X are friends of Moose.

Stank - ?

Spin - Who do YOU think Moose would rather see get Crete's title?

Stank - Look, I'll be the first to admit that Moose and I aren't friends but, if he were trying to screw me out of the title, why would he want us to join him in taking out Crete at the PPV?

Spin - Because he's probably counting on either LD or Dragon to relieve Crete of the title before Hell on Earth. That way it's just a gauntlet match with nothing at stake.

Stank - Accept for Moose or Crete leaving the OOWF forever...

Spin - ... ... personally I don't care which one of them leaves. I've been pushed out of the Intercontinental title race myself. I'd love a shot again at the World Title.

OBJ - Speaking of the IC Title, I wonder WHY my match against Flameboy is NON title?

Stank - I don't know, but I will say this... I will be DAMNED if I let Weapon X SCREW me out of a title, AGAIN! If Dragon wins it then sorry about his DAMN luck cause I'll be taking it from him.

Spin - I hate to dampen your enthusiasm there Stank but, I just had a match with LD and... he damn near crippled me. Beating him isn't going to be easy.

Stank - You think I don't know that? You've fought him how many times... once... twice?

Spin - Sorry I didn't mean...

Stank - No, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated... This is all a distraction. My attentions are... divided. I held it. I had that gold in my hands. The biggest prize in the OOWF and it was taken from me. Just another transgression committed by the Guild. I need to focus on one goal before accomplishing the other. Taking the title from Crete was supposed to be MY pleasure. At this point. Seeing his end has become as big a prize as winning the World title. Beating Williams just means I get to whoop on Crete some more. Which will have to serve as good a motivation as any to remove LD from my path.

OBJ - Well, good luck with that, mate. This whole mess has become very convoluted. What if Spin wins the title at Hell on Earth?

Stank - ... ... I'd rather it be him than Crete. I'd rather it be ME than anyone, of course, but Spin would make a fine World champ... Bah, I'd even rather see it on fucking MOOSE than Concrete fucking TG. We need to focus. We take out Crete and Firechild and it's done! Titles... titles may have to wait.

OBJ - I ain't waitin... the way I see it, if I beat Flamey That PROVES I should get a proper shot at his belt.

Stank - You're not getting it. As long as GLAW is around, "proper" don't enter into it.
This is war. You want that belt, you've got to TAKE it from FC. Proper or not.

OBJ - Hasn't exactly worked out for you...

Stank - ... It ain't over yet... We will POUND the heroes into DUST until there is nothing left! How can those who hold the Gold keep it if they're not healthy enough to defend it? Ain't no one going to stand in my way. Not LD Williams, not Canadian Bacon, not ANYone!

[Stank walks off muttering to himself.]

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is seen about to use a pay phone in the hallway...as he digs through his pockets for change, he finds his cellphone and realizes it's 2007, and the Never-ending promo + time-shifting has ended. He dials, and Ninja Boom-Mic holder picks up the conversation in the middle*

DM: No...I lost, man. No...no...I got freakin' small packaged. YES I used the Superman. What do you mean I didn't do it right?.....Uh-huh...uh-huh...No shit, uh? Well, ok...yeah...yeah, it's a 3 way dance with Jesusfreak and the Bookerman...

*Moosehead Jack appears from nowhere, HEARTPUNCHES~! Moreland, and takes his leave. The conversation continues....*

DM: Yeah, I know....Freakin' Kayfabe rules they got here...really? No way...They have you do what??...Aw dude, that sucks. Wow, I guess I don't have it that bad after all. Yeah....Ok...Well, yeah, I mean, I'm gonna try to do an unfunny promo and make it long so it looks like I put some thought into it. Yeah....Yeah I know, prolly a DQ in a 3 way dance...not really any point...

*Moosehead Jack again appears out of nowhere, and plasters Moreland's skull a dozen times with a barbed-wire baseball bat. When Moreland is sufficiently bloodied, Moosehead Jack leaves*

DM: *back on the phone* Yeah, I guess there's a new "Kayfabe Policy" they're trying to enforce. The punishment for violation? Pain. Lots of pain. Well, ok, anyway I gotta do this thing now. Yeah. I'll be up for the meeting next month. Ok, I got it...Superman, Superman, Superman. Alright. *grits teeth and rolls eyes* I. Feel. You. Dawg....Yes...Word. Homey. Seriously do you always talk like that now? Well, you should pay attention to it, it sounds retarded. Yes. Alright. Talk to ya. Thanks, and good luck with you keepin' yours. Alright...Bye.

*Moreland clicks his phone closed, and heads toward the ring area, nods to the sound/music guy, and music guy plays Davin Moreland's New Entrance Music. He heads out slowly to the ring, to the cheering crowd, and climbs into the ring, going to each corner, leaping to the top rope and raising his arms over head. The Crowd eats it up, and Moreland grabs a mic...*

DM: Cut the music....*crowd is bonkers for some reason*...How y'all doin?*Pop, obviously*...It's great to be here in Friar's Point, Mississippi, where you folks really know your rasslin'...

*Crowd is absolutely batshit*

DM: I'm here to talk to you folks tonight about the Onslaught Championship.

*Crowd murmurs, unsure as to what to do. Oh lead us Davin, yes, please lead us...*

DM: And I want to talk about how I was screwed out of the title. I hit my REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, and Knife rolled me up for the cheap 1,2,3...

*Pop-o-licious*

DM: It's hard folks, and y'all see it. It's hard for someone to re-invent themselves, and achieve the accolades they strive for...

*Crowd is confused by the muliple syllables, so they wait for a second, and then pop, 'cause they think they're supposed to.*

DM: *Notes to try to limit the $.25 words* All I've ever asked for is a fair shot. I dominated Chris Cole *pop*, I pinned Underdawg *pop*, been in the ring with LD Williams and Moosehead Jack *pop*, and here I am, taking on a tag-team wrestler? Knife, you're a fine technician, but let's face facts, when it comes to sheer talent. You can't s...Beat Me...

*Crowd flips out*

DM: And Moose...You think you're bad...You think you're hardcore? I can take everything you give and still come out on top...

*Yay*

DM: So this week, at MIDWEEK MAYHEM, you folks in FRIAR'S POINT, MISSISSIPPI are in for a rare treat. There WILL be a title change, and it WILL be on free TV...

*Whoopie*

DM: I swear to all you folks here in FRIAR'S POINT, MISSISSIPPI, and all the millions of folks watching the OOWF on TV at home...I will be a great Champion, and I promise to fight...for you *point* and you *point* and you *point*, and ALL the folks out there who support me week after week

*Da-vin, Da-vin, Da-vin*

DM: *getting actually choked up* I've been through some hard times, but one thing's never changed. I've always wanted to be a Champion in the OOWF, I know I can do it, I have the SKILLS, I have the HEART, and I have the WILL to Get R' Done...

*Da-Vin, but in a batshit, rednecky sorta way*

DM: This Wednesday, at MIDWEEK MAYHEM, in FRIAR'S POINT, MISSISSIPPI, I'm gonna fight for YOU, and I'm gonna BE a Champion...Know why?

*"Cause Davin Moreland ain't your B...."*

DM: Nononono...I got a new one. 'Cause I'm Davin Moreland, and I wanna be YOUR CHAMPION!

*Drunk rednecks in the from go crazy, Smarks up in the stands kinda shrug their shoulders, and the wrestlers in the back all kinda shake their head....*

DM: Now, who wants an Iced Coffee?

Crowd: Huh?

DM: Give me a DOUBLE BREWED ICED COFFEE FROM DUNKIN DONUTS!!!

*Moreland's music kicks in, as someone from outside the ring tosses...dear God...Iced Coffees up to Davin standing on the second rope. He smashes the cups together and Drinks them down, before motioning for more. Somehow, the crowd misses the blatant gimmick infringement and cheers along, asking for Iced Coffees as we fade into da darkness*

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose walks into the Destroyitarium just as Stank is walking out, and completely ignores the double post so as not to start all THAT again>

MHJ: Stank

Sta: Moose

MHJ: Let me buy you a beer, I saw the promo on tv, we need to get some things straight

<they head back to the bar and join Spin and Jack>

MHJ: Spin.......Jack

OBJ: Didn't have your A game did you mate?

MHJ: No, we'll cross again Jack, you got me this time

OBJ: What no threats?

MHJ: Look, all of you, I know you don't trust me, and that is fine. But I am telling you now, I had NOTHING to do with Dragon or Williams getting shots

SH: Of course not

MHJ: Look, if I was really angling for either of them to get a shot, wouldn't I have given them the shot in the Gauntlet match instead of you two?

Sta: That may be, but it doesn't matter. If one of them wins the title, then we have a Gauntlet Match against Crete for no reason.

MHJ: Ah, but that is where you are mistaken. We have a gauntlet match....for the title. It doesn't matter who wins the title, the three of us get a shot at the belt at Hell On Earth III

SH: So, it could be the three of us against Williams?

MHJ: Could be

Sta: Or the three of us against Canadian Dragon?

MHJ: You catch on fast. Look, I've said this before, I don't care who wins the title, as long as someone takes if from Crete. If its you, Spin, Williams, Dragon or me, or someone else. As long as he doesn't have it

OBJ: So what about either you or Crete leaving the OOWF?

MHJ: That was just a ruse, I am not giving Crete the satisfaction of even THINKING he is going to run me off. Now, is there anything else you guys want to accuse me of?

OBJ: You still haven't won anything in forever

MHJ: No, I haven't. But what have I done? I got the Onslaught title off of Nayr and ran him out of town. Jack, you beat me, and now look, you have a match against Firechild. You beat him, and you get a title shot. I got you two a shot at the world title, I got Firechild so frustrated he is sniping at Crete, and Crete, well we haven't heard a whole lot from our champion lately now have we? You think maybe he is frustrated?

SH: Damn, ok Moose, you have a point

MHJ: Look, it will all work out, right now, we hold all the cards. Crete has to face all three of us and is scared to death. Jack, you and Spin have the chance to end Firechild, it's all right there. You can say what you want, but I have done my part in backing Crete and the Hero morons in the corner, not it is up to all of us to finish those fuckers off.

<Moose turns and leaves leaving Spin, Stank and Jack staring at their drinks>

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose turns and leaves leaving Spin, Stank and Jack staring at their drinks>

Stank - ... does this beer taste funny to you?

Spin - ... It's a special Outback brew.

OBJ - Yeah, but it isn't supposed to turn that shade of color.

<Stank and Spin stare at Outback Jack>

OBJ - What?

Stank - Anyway, I told you guys... Moose has got our backs. He doesn't want the kind of shit storm that would rain down on his head if he were to screw us. I don't care HOW much he thrives on pain.

Spin - I suppose you're right.

OBJ - I don't like being seen as his lackeys. The sooner this is over, the better.

Stank - People will see what they want. It can't be helped. If they choose to see us as pawns, that only serves to our advantage.

[Stank walks off muttering to himself.]

[mooseheadjack]

Lucios Walks in to Rick’s office unannounced. Phantos is right behind him, carrying 2 bottles of Jack Daniels

GMtR: What do you two dirtbags want? Get out of my office NOW!

Lucios: Calm down Boss. Here, we brought you a peace offering.

(Phantos hands Rick the whiskey)

GMtR: (pauses to examine the bottles) Not really my brand, but alright, what do you need now? And be quick about it.

Lucios: You put us up against Adrenaline and Capps again. We appreciate the opportunity. We think they should get us in their match. Pick an object. Put it on a pole. And make the match.

Phantos: To make it a little more interesting, we want 2 out of 3 Poles. Two poles have a Tag Team Championship Belt on the top, the third any other object. Let them choose. You choose. It won’t matter.

GMtR: You want TCH in their favorite match? Why?

Lucios: It’s like we said earlier. We have our reasons.

GMtR: You have your reasons. What kind of crap is that? I should take these bottles and crack your skulls with them.

Phantos: Easy man, you have valuable alcohol in your hands.

(fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

LOADED is in the Fortress Of Snobbery

FFCIII- Alright gentlemen, seriously nice work against The Best Friends Forever last week.

Volt- But we didn't fight The Best Friends Forever last week.

FFCIII- Oh right, I mean that was good work by Los Defenestratores. *wink*

Eco- Seriously, that's not us.

FFCIII- Right, I gotcha. It was other guys entirely. *wink*

Volt- Stop winking! Its not us!

FFCIII- ALRIGHT! I GET IT!

Volt- Good.

FFCIII- *wink*

Volt- Goddamnit.

FFCIII- So I'm issuing a challenge for those two tonight. I've already givien Rick some gifts so that he'll agree to my suggestions for Hell On Earth.

Volt- Are you getting us a shot at the Tag Team Titles?

FFCIII- Well, I have plans for the three of us, but I got a title shot for Los Defenestratores, so its all good.

Volt- How is that good!? That's not us!

FFCIII- Are we on camera right now? Oh! Okay gotcha. Right! I got a title shot for our new allies Los Defenestratores. *wink*

Eco- I'm confused. Are we Los Defenestratores? After all that winking I'm not sure anymore.

Volt- No! At least I don't think so.

FFCIII- Anyways, we have a much better match. You two and I will be taking on Chris Alt, Hardbody Harris and the teammate of their chosing in a Lava Pit Glass Cage Six Man Tag Match! How cool is that!?

Volt- Are you shitting me?! Lava!? How does that work?

FFCIII- The ring is surrounded by lava.

Eco- Fuck that! Why couldn't you just get us a Tag Team Title match?

FFCIII- I DID!

Volt- So we have to fight a Tag Title match after we already had a match in lava? And we have to beat The Chickenshit Heels and Los Defenestratores? Way to go, dumbass.

FFCIII- I got a Tag Title match for Los Defenestratores, not The Defenestrators. The Defenestrators are my partners for the Glass Cage Lava Pit match.

Eco- So we don't get a title shot now? Plus we're gonna die in lava?! Fuck that!

Volt- Yeah, way to go, dumbass.

FFCIII- Look! There's a cage of glass surrounding the ring and the lava pit is outside the ring. There's no way you'll get killed in lava, relax!

Volt- So there's, like, windows surrounding the ring?

FFCIII- Pretty much.

Eco- What is someone throws us through the windows?

FFCIII- You mean, what if someone defenestrates you?

Eco- I don't know what that means.

Volt- Yeah ya do! We're called the Defenestrators!

Eco- I'm confused. Aren't we Los Defenestratores?

FFCIII- Yes.

Volt- No.

Eco- I'm gonna go lay down.

Ecosystem walks off to his room and yells back at them

Eco- Don't book me in any matches where I die anymore! This is the last time, I swear to God!

Volt- Way to go, dumbass.

FFCIII- Why do you keep saying that?

Volt- Nominations for best catchphrase are coming up. Get your "Way to go, dumbass!" T-Shirts at oowf.com!

FFCIII- Shill.

Volt- Sellout.

FFCIII- Vegemite eater.

Volt- So! Its delicious!

[mooseheadjack]

Phantos and Lucios are looking for Davin Moreland. They find him in the janitor’s closet.

Lucios: Davin, can I have a word?

Davin: Who are you?

Phantos: Man, we’re the new guys.

Davin: OK… yeah. What?

Lucios: We would like to borrow the Clangy Pole for a while.

Davin: WHAT?

Phantos: You don’t talk to it any more, and we can put it to good use.

Davin: How?

Lucios: I can’t get specific with you, but obviously, we intend to cause some pain with it.

Davin: What’s in it for me?

Phantos: How about we buy you a Double Brewed Iced Coffee from Dunkin Donuts

Davin: Hmmmm, alright. But Remember DAVIN MORELAND AIN’T YOUR…

Lucios: (cuts Davin off) Whoa whoa whoa, wait, time out, hold on.

Davin: WHAT?

Lucios: This is OUR promo. We don’t cuss.

Davin: You what?

Phantos: We don’t cuss man, sorry. You’ll have to hit your catchphrase somewhere else.

(Davin is clearly getting angry, clenching and unclenching his fists.)

Lucios: Listen, if it will make you feel better, you can put Phantos in the Mark Henry Armbar.

Phantos: Why me?

Lucios: (stage whisper to Phantos) Man, it’s just an armbar; just sell it like a champ.

(Davin grabs Phantos and locks in the Mark Henry Memorial Armbar. Phantos screams out in agony, and we fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin Hansen is talking to one of the many SFJs in the Designated Chain-Link Fence Promo Area.)

SFJ: What are your latest thoughts about the Heroes Guild?

SH: First, I'm not going to pay any attention to the fact that when it comes to active wrestlers, the Drink & Destory / Moosehead Jack alliance outnumbers the Guild two to one. The guild have that asshole Glaw running things, and we'll never get a fair shot as long as he's running. Plus I know that Crete always has something up his sleeve-- be it bringing in RVD and Sabu as active members of the guild, calling in favors, whatever. The point remains that we, if given a fair shot, could defeat you or Firechild.

That brings me to my next point... I've been talking with the boys backstage, and I've been thinking of a surprise. A big surprise that I'm going to unveil next week.

SFJ: Do we have any hints on what the surprise is going to be?

SH: Let's just say that I've found a way to even the playing field a little bit.

SFJ: And what about your match with Westgaard?

SH: All that I can say about that is that I intend to take him to the limit... like I always do. He has no choice in the matter, and why doesn't he, you might ask?

Simple.

Because I'm Spin Freakin' Hansen... and there isn't a damn thing that he can do about that.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG walks into the Guild Locker room to find Firechild sitting alone)

CTG: Citizen Flame, where are the others?

FC: (slowly turns in CTG's direction) You're talking about the ladder and chair that are always sitting out here? I put them away. Sabu said he needed to call a lawyer about a "Family issue".

CTG: "Put them away"? LADDER and CHAIR are our last allies

FC: they're a ladder and a chair. I don't care how many belts LADDER held. They can't help us, and you're not helping much either.

CTG: (indignant) As the OOWF champion, I have defended my title-

FC: but you're not willing to go as far as our foes. That's where you're going to fall.

CTG: Justice does not bow to the methods of evil. We do what needs to be done within the extent of the law.

FC: Pretty altrustic.... but even Sterling Glaw has "assisted" us.

CTG: A false accusation!

FC: He's been reading the Rules so close that he enforces them for our benefit. How heroic is that?

CTG: The rules are their own double-edged sword! How DARE you accuse our head referee of cheating! You should be speaking more of Mel Creech, who openly takes money for the sake of-

FC: no one pays Creech to change a decision. They pay him to let them do what they need to do to accomplish their goals.

CTG: it's still outside the rules.

FC: Look, Crete, being a hero requires dedication, compassion, and a lot of other pretty words, but if you want a villain to respect you, you best be ready to throw down at his level, legal or not. That's something you're gonna have to look at a lot more closely given that it's just you and I left. There's a war brewing and I'm not going to waste any more energy arguing with you about our methods.

CTG: .......

FC: (stands) Your "Other buddies" are in there. (walks out)

CTG: (lowers head) ... by their methods..? then how do we know who the heroes and villains are......

[mooseheadjack]

The Capellan & Viper locker room -

DV: I can't do this match, man.

Cap: What?

DV: We're teaming up with Harris and Alt. Uh-uh.

Cap: They seem to have good intentions.

DV: No. Fuck those guys. I don't like them, they don't like me, and they'll take any chance to fuck us over, Cap.

Cap: Tommy and JW said that about you when we started teaming up, you know that?

DV: And they were wrong. I'm right about this. I have a bad feeling about this all.

Cap: Are you sure it's because you don't want to face Underdawg?

DV: What?

Cap: We're facing Underdawg, your former mentor. In fact, this is the first time you and Underdawg have faced each other in the ring since you came back.

DV: And?

Cap: You don't want to fight him, do you?

DV: Are you saying I'm scared? I beat him to win the World Title belt when I was already champion. I took his Ministry away from him. If there is any fear here, Underdawg should be afraid of me!

And with that, a KRAKA-THOOM! is heard and Underdawg appears behind Viper.

Cap: Uh... Donnie...

DV: Yeah, I know.

Viper turns around and sees Underdawg, whose eyes are glazed over and is frothing at the mouth. He GOOZLES Viper! Cap runs up to Dawg to save his partner but gets GOOZLED as well! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM to the concrete!

F. Fonzworth Cappington III walks in with Lance.

FFCIII: Well done, Dawg. Well done.

UD: Grrr...

FFCIII: Now we just have to find Harris and Alt. You remember them, right?

UD: Grrr... BARK! BARK! AWOOOO!!!!!

FFCIII: Now come Big Dawg. Follow the money. Jeeves, be Virgil.

Lance pulls out a spread of hundred dollar bills, Underdawg sniffs and smells the money, starts panting and walks off with FFC and Lance while Capellan and Viper are laid out on the floor.

[mooseheadjack]

Capellan and Viper slowly recover from Underdawg's sneak attack.

"Yeah, there's no reason you'd be worried about fighting Dawg."

"Shut up, Cap."

[mooseheadjack]

**L.D. Williams is alone in his locker room, staring at the camera**

You know, they say any man in this business who says he’s not after the World Title is either a liar or a fool. I suppose that’s true. But at the moment, earning a World Title Shot isn’t my top priority. In fact I have only one priority…Underdawg.

We may have different goals, Stank, but the path to what each of us wants runs through this match at Mayhem, and one of us is going to fall. I don’t plan on it being me.

I’ll admit it. I respect you. Since you took my place as resident zookeeper, I sympathize with you. Hell, as far as destroying Concrete goes, I even support you…but at Midweek Mayhem, none of that will matter.

If I lose to you Stank, Underdawg will jump all over the opportunity to say I don’t deserve a match with him. I can’t let that happen. I won’t. So, I’ll face you Stank. I’ll face you and I’ll beat you…any way I can. Be prepared for the fight of your life Stank, I know I will.

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback Jack is at the Designated Chain-Link Fence Promo Area with SFJ43*

SFJ: Tonight you face Firechild. There's been a lot of hostility between Drink and Destroy and the Heroes Guild. What impact will that have on your match?

OBJ: You know, I was a bit skeptical at first about what Stank was saying about the Guild, but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. Now Firechild is talking tough but he's not even putting the title on the line. So tonight I'm going to send him a message. And as far as him talking about "ro rules" matches, *drains a beer and belches* that's Australian for "No rules, just right!"

*Voltage walks by with a sign that says "I can't believe he just said that!" and OBJ throws his empty beer can at him.*

OBJ: Some people have no appreciation for product placement deals. Anyways, if Firechild is feeling brave I could teach him a lesson or two about no rules matches, but I doubt he'd have the guts to go through with it.

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Friar’s Point, Mississippi

LOS DEFENESTRATORS vs. APOCALYPTIC BASTARDS

Volt kicks the crap out of SYB at the bell, as Eco dumps AE. Some Los Def double teaming, including Total Elimination. Tornado DDT from Eco, and then he kicks him in the head for good measure. Volt in and takes SYB over with a snap suplex, rolling up and into a neck breaker. Another sucker punch for AE knocks him back to the floor. High backdrop to SYB, and his legs land on the ropes. Total shitkicking to SYB from Los Def, and Eco sets him up on the top rope. He climbs up for perhaps a top rope frankensteiner, but SYB knocks him off, then kicks Volt off the apron. SYB comes off with a DOUBLE AXEHANDLE~! SYB crawls for the corner… HOT TAG AE! The big guy comes in and… does nothing, but lets Volt and Eco just run and bounce off him. Volt and Eco try to double team him, but AE shoves them both away like gnats. Finally, Eco clips his knee and they take the big guy down. Some double teaming puts AE to the mat, but SYB comes back and slugs it out with both of them before blowing up and falling to his knees, allowing Eco to nail him with a Shining Wizard. Suddenly, F. Fonzworth Cappington wanders down to the ring, looks around, and as the ref tries to get SYB out of the fray, FFC nails AE with a roll of quarters. Volt grabs the ref and makes the cover and it’s over.
WINNERS in 5:07: LOS DEFENESTRATORS

Once again F. Fonzworth Cappington climbs between the ropes and raises Los Defenestrators arms in victory and grabs their hands and shakes vigorously. Los Def look at each other confused, then just shrug their shoulders and head to the back.

JW WESTGAARD vs. SPIN HANSEN

Both men go eye to eye in the ring, and lock up. Hansen seems to have the advantage of weight & height, but Westgaard pushes back and gets level with Spin. All of a sudden, Hansen stop pushing, and Westgaard falls forward, allowing Hansen to flip him over in an evil headlock hip toss, and drive his face hard into the mat. JWW has his breath knocked from him as Hansen transitions into a Cross-face, but Westgaard gets a foot on the ropes, and Hansen breaks the hold. Hansen swaggers across the ring and poses for the crowd, but JWW is up quick and charges across the ring and Spin turns into a Crosscheck, knocking him to the floor. Westgaard punches HARD into Spin’s face, then gets dragged off by the referee. He takes up position in the corner and waits for Spin to get to his feet. Hansen gets to his feet, but as JWW launches himself across the ring, Hansen steps aside and trips him, sending Westgaard straight into the turnbuckle, impacting with force onto the ring post. Spin grabs him and pulls him out, then rams him back into the post, before receiving a telling off from the official. Spin makes a derisory gesture to the referee and pulls the hurting JWW out of the turnbuckle, and slaps on a standing arm bar, then twists the arm, Undertaker style, and then wrenches it down, sending Westgaard face first into the mat. Hansen, wanders across to his corner and takes a slug of Jagermeister, as JWW gets to his feet, his left arm hanging useless at his side. Westgaard is trying to work some feeling back into his arm when Spin places his bottle of Jager back on the apron, and marches across the ring. Spin grabs the arm, and clubs JWW with a forearm to the face, then grabs either side of his head, and goes for a head butt. But Westgaard nails him with a huge, right handed uppercut, rocking him back, then kicks him in the gut and nails a one handed Ice Auger for 1-2-NO! Spin is dazed, and Westgaard drags him to his feet and tries to hit the Auger again, but Spin grabs his feet away, and slaps on a modified Whisky Tango Foxtrot, pressing JWW’s arm behind his back, and Westgaard has nowhere to go and taps out, following a brief, yet valiant fight.
WINNER in 7:18, SPIN ‘Freakin’ HANSEN

CAPELLAN & VIPER, CHIRS ALT & HARDBODY HARRIS vs. F. FONZWORTH CAPPINGTON III, DEFENESTRATORS & UNDERDAWG

Big stare down to start and everyone brawls. One by one, everyone ends up on the floor, Capellan, Voltage, Alt, FFC, Viper, Ecosystem, until it’s just Harris and Dawg slugging it out in the ring. Harris to the ropes, but slides under the big boot and tackles UD from behind. UD shoves him off thru the ropes and everyone’s on the floor. Crowd loves it. C&V double team Eco, then Volt, and Alt is kicking the shit out of FFC. UD breaks up the double teaming by C&V, but Alt cuts him off with a flying burrito. Into the crowd go Viper and Eco, and FFC is bleeding already. Viper and Eco are lost in the mass of humanity, as things slowly settle back in at ringside. Alt and Harris stomp on UD, but Volt goes low on Cap. Volt helps FFC up, and they roll Capellan into the ring. Referee Sterling Glaw gets some order and gets HH, CA, and UD back to their corners. Volt chokes out Cap in the corner, and tags in UD. Dawg beats on Cap with lefts and rights in the corner, topped off with a big uppercut. Tag to FFC, and Cappington comes in, kicks Cap once, and tags back out. Volt back in and catapults Cap into the bottom rope from beneath it. To the corner, and tag back to UD. OBEDIENCE SCHOOL~! But Alt hops in and runs to the ropes, crotching Dawg. But when Glaw sends Alt back, Volt and Cappington jump in and stomp the living hell out of Capellan. “Slap hands behind the ref’s back” and Volt stays in and grabs a Boston Crab. Cap makes the ropes. Volt sends Cap to the ropes, but Cap gets a sunset flip for two. Up and Cap goes for the tag, but Volt clips him from behind. Sucker punch for Harris, drawing him in, and when the ref tends to him, again, the heels jump in for a 3 on 1. Cap is just getting the shit kicked out of him. Cappington with a slam and tags back to UD. Dawg with the CHOKESLAM FROM THE KENNEL~! One, two, but Alt breaks it up. Harris hops in and challenges the ref to send them all back and a pier sixer breaks out, before Cappington and Volt bail to the floor, forcing Glaw to send HH and CA back to the corner. Cap goes to tag, but UD pulls him back by the leg. Cap tries an enziguri, but UD ducks and throws him back to the heel corner with a belly to back suplex. Cappington chokes Cap out with the tag rope, and it’s another 3 on 1 beat down. But Viper comes running out from the back and breaks up the party. Viper pulls Cappington down and hammers him with right hands, then sends Dawg to the railing. Cap crawls to the corner, but Volt grabs him. But Cap mule kicks him… HOT TAG ALT~! Alt in and beats the hell out of Voltage. Dawg to the apron, but Alt nails him, too. SPINAL CONTUSION~! But Volt falls off the back and gets a backslide for two. HUGE clothesline takes him right back down, but UD nails Alt with a big boot. Harris comes off the top with the #1 DOUBLE AXEHANDLE IN THE OOWF~! Viper rolls Cappington and Harris nails him with TO BE EDITED IN LATER~! Alt grabs him and sets him on the top rope for the ALT-OMIC BOMB~! But UD pulls him away. Alt and UD slug it out, and Harris jumps in help out. Harris and Alt toss UD over the top with a double hip toss, but UD lands on his feet… so they follow out with STEREO PLANCHAS~! Volt runs into Cap on the apron, sending him flailing to the railing, but Viper tackles him to the apron. Volt pulls himself up and walks the apron, and Viper suplexes Voltage back in from the apron, but Eco re-appears and pushes Cappington off the top rope right onto Viper and Volt. They are dead. Glaw over to make the count, one, two, three.
WINNERS in 19:33: DEFENESTRATORS, F. FONZWORTH CAPPINGTON, & UNDERDAWG

STANK vs. LD WILLIAMS - #1 Contenders Match, Winner Gets a Title Shot Next Week

Stank and Williams both go through their normal introductions and get to the ring. Two no-nonsense wrestlers, this should be smash mouth wrestling at its best. The referee calls for the bell and both men meet in the center of the ring, collar and elbow tie up, Stank pushes Williams back to the corner, the referee calls for the clean break, and after a bit of hesitation, he gets it. Stank backs off and Williams meets him back in the center of the ring. Another tie up, Stank grabs an arm wringer Williams reverses it and slips behind Stank with a hammer lock, Stank tries to grab the leg, but can’t so he works his way to the ropes to force the break. Williams holds on for a second or two longer, then releases the hold. Finally the two head back to the center of the ring, another tie up, but this time Williams buried a knee into Stank’s midsection doubling him over in pain, Williams drops an elbow on the back of Stanks head dropping him to one knee, then hits the ropes, but Stank is back up, catches Williams by the throat and catches him with a two handed choke spine buster. Stank covers but can only get a one count. Stank pulls Williams to a sitting position and locks Williams in a head lock putting all his weight on the back of Williams head. LD doesn’t stay on the mat long, fighting his way to his feet, he gets out of it with a series of elbows to the mid section. Williams bounds off the ropes and gets dropped with a shoulder block, he tries to drop an elbow across LD’s sternum, but Williams rolls out of the way, gets to his feet and catches Stank with a kick to the mouth. Stank is on his feet and Williams rocks him with several shots to the head backing him into the corner, Williams charges for a clothesline, but Stank gets out of the way and Williams crashes back first into the corner, then bounces out and gets caught in a Stank bear hug. Williams growls in pain but will not quit, he breaks the hold by gnawing on Stank’s forehead. Stank drops him and Williams bounces off the ropes and connects with a chop block that sends Stank to the mat. Williams grabs the leg and starts working the knee and hamstring. Williams locks on a figure four, and now it is Stank’s turn to be in pain but not give up. Stank finally works to turn the move over, putting the pressure on Williams leg, Williams is quick to break the hold and slip out of the ring onto the apron. Stank walks to the ropes and grabs Williams by the hair and pulls him to his feet, Williams grabs Stank’s head and guillotines him on the top rope. Stank’s head snaps back and he falls into the ring. Williams is immediately into the ring and pounces on Stank and tries to lock on the STF, but Stank fights it the whole time, keeping Williams from locking it on, and eventually making it to the ropes. Both men get to their feet, and exchange shots in the center of the ring. Stank ends the slug fest by grabbing Williams and head butting him into next month. Stank whips Williams into the corner and charges for the avalanche, but Williams moves out of the way, Stank slams into the corner and Williams schoolboys him from behind and gets the roll up one two three!
WINNER in 16:51 – LD Williams

KNIFE vs. DAVIN MORELAND vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – No DQ OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

All three men enter with looks of grim determination on their faces. They take up position in the ring and start talking smack to one another. Knife looks placid, and Moose gets right in his face, Knife just grins back, almost serenely and Moose pulls his fist back, only for Moreland to spin him round and start wailing away with big right hands. Moose is rocked for a second, then gathers his wits and whips Moreland to the ropes and knocks him down with a tackle. Knife nails Moose with a series of stiff kicks as he gets to his feet, and Moose is again rocked. Knife steps back, and lines up a Stab, but Moose steps under the kick and kicks Knife in the back of his standing knee, making him crumple to the floor. Moose straddles Knife’s back, grabs a flailing arm and slaps on the Jiendo. The referee is down on the deck, asking Knife if he quits. Knife seems to be fading as Moreland looms over the pair and punches Moose right in the face a couple of times. Moose releases the hold and squares up to Moreland, and then the punches start flying. Moose gets the advantage and backs Moreland into a corner, beating into Moreland’s face with a series of closed fists. The referee pulls him off and warns him about the closed fist punches, and Moose just looks incredulous at him. Moreland takes advantage of the pause for breath and explodes out of the corner, spearing Moose to the mat. Moreland is back up quickly and waits for Moose to get to his feet before leaning against the ropes and going for a Really Good Diamond Cutter. Moose however steps past the move and as Moreland lands ass first on the mat ands bounces back to his feet, Moose turns and levels Moreland with a Heart Punch! Moose is really hit up now, and slides out of the ring and grabs a chair from the timekeeper. He brings it into the ring and holds it high over Moreland, only for the referee to pull it out of his hands. The ref tells Moose he won’t count any pin-fall from that, but he won’t protect his title by DQing him either. Moose looks annoyed and turns, only for Moreland to spear him again. The referee is knocked aside and drops the chair, as Moreland presses his advantage over Moose. Moose head butts Moreland on the ground and rolls on top, then head butts him again. His face covered in blood, Moose lifts Moreland for a pile driver, then positions him over the dropped chair, grins at the referee as the official gets back to his feet and nails Moreland with a pile driver on the chair. Davin Moreland needs serious medical help. Moose covers and the referee stands there and shakes his head. Moose is astonished and gets right into the referee’s face. The ref just shakes his head and Moose grabs him by the lapels, and the referee calmly says it’s a no DQ match. Moose drops the referee, clearly angry and looks to where he left the Knife. Knife isn’t there. Moose turns around, just as Knife launches a Basalt Back cracker into his back. Moose rolls aside, in pain as Knife gets to his feet, still clearly in pain from the Jiendo. Knife is setting up a Stab, but Moose charges him, spilling both men to the outside. Moose is now in his environment and whips Knife hard to the ring post, and follows up with a DDT onto the floor. Moose grabs the ring bell and charges at Knife, who manages to dodge and nail him with a Slash to the stomach. Moose doubles over and Knife rolls him back into the ring. Knife slides in, and starts sharpening the blade (tuning up the band.) Moose gets to his feet, and Knife steps in with the Stab, but Moose lifts the ring bell into the way and it clangs as Knife cracks his foot on the unforgiving steel. Moose glares at the referee and dares him to disqualify him, but and the referee shakes his head. Moose laughs, and lines up the ring bell for another shot at Knife. He turns back only to be met with a Stab to the face, as Knife had set himself again, and launched one last gasp attack. Moose staggers as Knife rests in his injured foot, winces and launches himself forward, grabbing the unsteady Moose with a Crucifix and rolling through for the 1-2-3!
WINNER via pin-fall in 13:11 the Knife!

Knife slides out of the ring and is handed the Onslaught title by the timekeeper and the referee follows, and raises his hand. Moose is down in the ring, and throws a look a pure, blood drenched malice, which seems to be more directed against the referee than the Knife…..

THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS

Phantos and Lucios are announced and they head to the ring, but they are ambushed half way down the ramp by The Chickenshit Heels! Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster hammer them from behind with forearms to the back of the head. AA grabs Lucios and slams him back first into the guard rail, Johnny clotheslines Phantos over the guardrail and follows him into the crowd. AA has Lucios pinned against the guard rail and is hammering him with shots to the head. In the crowd, Adrenaline grabs a chair and goes after Phantos, but Phantos catches him with a spinning heel kick that sends the chair back into Johnny’s face. Adrenaline staggers and heads toward the safety of the ramp, Phantos catches him before he can get over the railing and he grabs Johnny and hits an atomic drop that sends Johnny over the railing the hard way. Phantos hops the rail and grabs AA and spins him around and blisters him with chops. AA staggers away and heads to the ring, Lucios grabs Adrenaline and pulls him to his feet, grabs his ear and pulls him to the ring. Phantos and Lucios roll the Chickenshit Heels into the ring and follow them in, both Johnny and AA are on their knees begging off, but Phantos and Lucios are not buying it and both land kicks to the chest. Lucios pulls Johnny up and throws him over the top rope back to the floor. Inside the ring, Phantos and Lucios pull AA to his feet, Phantos whips him to the ropes then drops to the mat, when AA leaps over Phantos Lucios charges in and nails AA in mid air with a wicked clothesline that folds AA in half. Lucios covers and gets the two count before Johnny scurries back into the ring and breaks up the pin attempt. The referee has finally appeared to have some order as it is Lucios and AA in the ring. Lucios tries to pull AA to his feet, but AA rakes the eye and tries to crawl across the ring to make the tag, but Lucios grabs his leg and drags him back to their corner. He pulls AA up in the corner and tags in Phantos and they take turns chopping AA until the ref makes Lucios leave the ring. Phantos sends AA to the ropes and lowers his head, AA grabs Phantos for a DDT, but Phantos slips behind him and hits a German suplex, bridges and gets a two count. AA is desperate for a tag now, he begs off once again, Johnny calls the referee distracting him for a moment, which gives AA time to hit a blatant low blow. Phantos crumples to the mat and AA crawls over and tags in Adrenaline. Johnny comes in and pulls Phantos to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Phantos ducks, puts on the breaks, and nails Johnny with a super kick that sends him into the P/L corner. Phantos charges in and hits a spinning heel kick, then tags in Lucios. Lucios grabs Johnny for a suplex, and tags in Phantos, Phantos climbs to the top rope and they hit a suplex/splash combo! Phantos covers, and the pin is once again broken up by AA. A pier four breaks out now, Phantos and Lucios both whip Adrenaline and AA to the ropes and connect with super kicks that stop TCH in their tracks, Johnny falls out of the ring, AA remains standing, Phantos & Lucios hit opposite ropes, Lucios goes high, Phantos goes low, and they nearly cut AA in half! Before they can cover him, Adrenaline reaches in and pulls his partner under the bottom rope, he helps AA around the ring, they grab their titles and head to the back. Phantos is about to go after them when Lucios holds him back and they remain in the ring. Ten seconds later, the referee finishes the count out and raises Phantos & Lucios arms.
WINNERS in 9:12 – by count out – Phantos & Lucios

FIRECHILD vs. OUTBACK JACK – Non-Title Match

Outback Jack strides calmly to the ring and chugs a beer as Intercontinental Champion Firechild makes his entrance. Both men stand stoically as Sterling Glaw calls for the bell. They circle and lock up. OBJ backs Firechild into the corner, but FC slips away and catches OBJ with a kick to the back of the knee. They lock up a second time, and again FC slips away and gets in a kick to the knee. They move in for a third lock up, and FC tries to shoot the leg. OBJ drives a fist into the back of FC’s head, dropping him to his knees. OBJ delivers a few more blows to the neck, and lifts FC for a power bomb, but FC gets a shot at the knee on the way up and OBJ stumbles. FC throws his weight back and tries for a hurricanrana, but OBJ keeps his balance and levers FC back up into power bomb position. FC grabs OBJ’s head and rains down punches until he falls back. FC lands on top and covers, but OBJ kicks out at one. OBJ gets slowly to his feet, and FC staggers him with a dropkick. He goes for a second one, but OBJ slaps it away. FC rolls to his feet and ducks a lariat, getting in another shot to the knee as OBJ goes by. OBJ goes down and FC pounces, attacking the knee with kicks and slamming it into the mat. FC locks on a half Boston Crab, but OBJ makes it to the ropes for a break. As OBJ gets to his feet, FC moves in to attack. He goes after the leg, but OBJ catches him with a right to the face. OBJ hits several more punches, then slams FC to the mat. He drives an elbow into FC’s throat, then rolls him over and locks on a front facelock. FC struggles to his knees, and OBJ frees an arm for a series of clubbing blows that put FC back on the mat. OBJ releases him and gets up, stomping on the back of FC’s head. He picks FC up and spikes him with a DDT, covering for a two count. OBJ throws FC to the ropes and goes for a Black Hole Slam, but FC reverses into a crucifix and also gets a two count. Both men get to their feet and FC scores with a dropkick, following up with a series of chops that back OBJ into the corner. FC climbs up the turnbuckle for the count along punches, but OBJ throws him off after four. FC rolls back to his feet and launches himself at OBJ, taking him down with a chop block. FC lays OBJ’s leg across the bottom rope, then comes off the second rope, driving a knee into the injured leg. FC drags OBJ to the center of the ring by the bad leg, and locks on a figure four. OBJ roars with pain, but refuses to submit, and eventually manages to reverse the move. FC immediately releases the hold, gets to his feet and pounces, locking OBJ in the STF. OBJ is fading, but somehow manages to claw his way to the ropes. FC hits a neck breaker as OBJ gets up, and covers for a two count. FC goes for a suplex but OBJ blocks, and hits a suplex of his own. FC gets to his feet and is rocked by a European uppercut. He stumbles into the corner and OBJ splashes him from behind, locking his hands around FC’s waist and planting him with a German suplex. FC is staggered, but manages to dodge an attempted Boomerang, mostly due to the fact that OBJ is hobbling. OBJ turns around and FC catches him with a kick to the midsection, then runs to the ropes. FC goes for The End, but OBJ catches him and turns it into a sick Spine buster. OBJ hooks the leg, and Sterling counts the three.
WINNER in 17:26, Outback Jack

After the match: OBJ rolls from the ring as Sterling hands FC his title. OBJ hobbles backwards up the aisle, pointing at FC and motioning that the belt is his for the taking.

CONCRETE TG vs. CANADIAN DRAGON – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

Canadian Dragon comes to the ring first and warms up as the champion makes his entrance. Concrete TG steps into the ring and the two men go toe-to-toe, their trash talk rapidly increasing in both volume and venom. Referee Sterling Glaw steps in and backs them up, then gently takes the belt away from Concrete and displays it to the crowd before calling for the bell. Dragon and Concrete rush from their corners. They meet in center ring and Concrete snaps off an arm drag. Dragon rolls to his feet, hits the ropes, and comes back with a clothesline. Concrete ducks and Dragon hits the opposite ropes. Concrete goes for a dropkick, but Dragon slaps it aside. Concrete rolls to his feet and Dragon grabs a hammerlock. Concrete reverses, and Dragon re-reverses. Dragon switches to a waist lock and hits a German suplex. He bridges and gets a one count.
Dragon grabs a headlock as Concrete gets up. Concrete throws him off, leapfrogs him, and hits a hurricanrana, scoring a one count of his own. Dragon rolls to his feet and eats a dropkick. Concrete scores with a snap suplex and comes off the ropes with a leg drop. He picks him up and goes for the Long Arm of the Law, but Dragon blocks, shoving Concrete into the corner. Dragon rocks Concrete with a series of chops, then hits an Irish whip and follows Concrete in with a shining wizard. Concrete sags in the corner, and Dragon hits a couple of European uppercuts, then lifts him onto the top turnbuckle. Dragon climbs up as well and sets up a superplex, but Concrete blocks. They exchange punches, and Concrete knocks Dragon off balance. As he falls, Dragon grabs Concrete and takes him over with an arm drag off the top turnbuckle. Both men land awkwardly, and are slow getting up. Dragon is up a hair faster, and catches Concrete with a knee lift. Dragon goes to the second rope and leaps off with a leg drop, but Concrete moves out of the way. Dragon rolls to his feet, ducks a kick, and tackles Concrete off his feet. Dragon lays into him with punches until Concrete manages to reverse their positions and hit some punches of his own. Concrete pulls Dragon up and rocks him with a series of punches, then whips him to the ropes, and connects with a beautiful drop kick. Concrete picks Dragon up for a delayed vertical suplex, turning it into a Jackhammer. He hooks the leg and gets two. Concrete stays on the attack, keeping Dragon off balance with a series of kicks. Concrete hits another Irish whip, and drops his head for a back drop. Instead of countering with a kick, Dragon dives over Concrete, going for the Canadian Destroyer! Concrete has it scouted, and grabs Dragon’s legs, drops to his knees, and levers Dragon over, slamming him into the mat. Concrete holds on to Dragon’s legs and flips over him into a bridging pin for 2.5. Concrete moves in as Dragon gets up, and takes a punch to the solar plexus. As Concrete tries to catch his breath, Dragon hits the ropes and levels him with a lariat. Dragon grabs Concrete’s legs, drives a knee into his lower abdomen, and locks on the Sharpshooter. Concrete struggles toward the ropes, but Dragon pulls him back. Sterling Glaw checks, but Concrete refuses to submit. He reaches back and manages to hook Dragons leg, pulling him off his feet and breaking the hold. Concrete drags himself to the ropes and pulls himself up as Dragon gets to his feet. Concrete hobbles forward, and Dragon hits him with a super kick. He covers, but Concrete kicks out at two. Both men get slowly to their feet, Dragon holding his head and Concrete his knee. Dragon lunges and Concrete sidesteps, slipping behind him. Concrete goes for a German suplex, but Dragon blocks. He attempts to reverse into a forward roll-up, but Concrete blocks and grabs his legs. Final Justice!! Concrete makes the cover and Sterling counts the three.
WINNER and still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, in 29:16, Concrete TG.

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