OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Devil’s Lake, North Dakota
SPIN HANSEN vs. DH MAGNUSSONSpin Hansen enters the ring first, followed by D.H. Magnusson. As soon as DHM steps through the ropes Spin attacks, pummeling him with lefts and rights. DHM is driven back to the corner and covers up until referee Junior Hale backs Spin off and calls for the bell. Spin moves back in, but DHM comes out of the corner and meets him head on, trading blows. Neither man gets an advantage until Spin drops a shoulder and picks DHM up, hitting him with a Samoan drop. Spin jumps up and hits the ropes, but DHM levels him with a rising lariat as he comes back. DHM drives a knee into Spin’s temple and rolls him over, rubbing his face into the mat. After another knee to the back of the head, DHM makes a cover, but Spin kicks out at one. DHM pulls him up and hits a European uppercut and a head butt, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. DHM hooks the leg, but only gets two. DHM scrapes Spin off the mat, and Spin doubles him over with a shot to the stomach. He goes for a DDT but DHM blocks. DHM tries to reverse into a suplex, but Spin blocks that as well. Spin shoves DHM off and drops him with a stunner. He covers, but they’re too close to the ropes and Junior breaks the count. Spin drags DHM to the middle of the ring and attempts to apply the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, but DHM kicks him off and gets to his feet. DHM blocks a punch and wrings the arm, but Spin twists around and goozles him. DHM drives a knee into Spin’s midsection, forcing him to let go. DHM shoves him into the corner and nails a series of left-handed chops. Spin reverses an Irish whip, but DHM re reverses and catches him with a lariat in the corner. Spin stumbles out and DHM goes for the Dream Street, but Spin grabs the ropes and DHM hits the mat hard. Spin picks DHM up and drives his face into the turnbuckle before throwing him to the opposite corner and killing him with a running elbow smash. He picks DHM up and sits him backwards on the top turnbuckle. Spin climbs up on the outside and slugs away. DHM tries to shove him off but Spin knees him in the face. Spin pulls DHM onto the top turnbuckle with him and drives him to the mat with the Todesfall. He pulls DHM’s leg away from the ropes as Junior counts the three.
WINNER, in 12:38, Spin Hansen.
CONCRETE TG vs. RYAN HARDCORECrete is dismayed when he sees Mel in the ring, but climbs in anyway. Ryan stomps out to the ring and hops right in. The two lock up immediately, Crete with the early advantage. He wraps Ryan up in a headlock then thrusts him at the ropes, felling him with a shoulder block on the rebound. CTG to the ropes - Ryan flat on the mat - CTG steps over and bounces back and Ryan whips him around with an arm drag. Both to their feet quickly, Ryan charges and CTG arm drags him. both are quickly back to their feet in the STANDOFF! crowd applauds, Ryan's not sure how to take that. Concrete cracks a faint smile and nods, and the two circle again. Lockup, this time Ryan has an advantage and he shoves Crete to the corner. He takes it chest first and staggers backward into a backdrop suplex. Early cover gets a one count, the two rolling in opposite directions. Crete to his feet first, snagging Ryan and slinging him for a corner. Crete charges, Ryan tries to vault but gets caught by the legs. Ryan reverses it into a huricanrana and Crete tumbles. Ryan follows up quickly with two stomps, a hop and a standing moonsault - but once again, only a one count. Ryan slaps the mat before standing and gets caught from behind in a backslide! Mel counts 1, 2, - Ryan kicks out. Ryan is visibly flustered and pitches a fit while concrete gets back to his feet to pose. He hesitates, however, when he spots Moosehead Jack sitting at the top of the ramp in a lawn chair, drinking from a bottle in a brown paper bag and showing off the Onslaught title. Crete's face contorts into frustration, but this hesitation proves costly as Ryan dropkicks Crete clean out of the ring to the floor. MHJ claps as Ryan climbs out of the ring (like Mel cares) and stomps CTG flat. Ryan shouts some expletives up at Moose as well before rolling Crete’s carcass back into the ring. Moose shrugs and continues to sip his drink and watch the match. Ryan scoop slams Crete near a corner and climbs up for a moonsault. He points at Moose and leaps off, only to find that CTG has regained his feet and catches him on the way down. Keeping his feet, Crete rolls Ryan to his shoulders and Samoan drops him. Ryan bounces twice and lands on his face, in perfect position for a BACKWALL! Moose shouts to Crete, who looks up to see Moose smashing a bottle against the Onslaught title! Concrete says some VERY unheroic things and walks to that side of the ring to make sure he's heard. Moose laughs, but laughs even harder when Ryan rolls concrete up! 1, 2, 3~!
WINNER in 7:34 Ryan Hardcore
Moose continues to laugh and walks backstage. Crete pounds his own forehead in frustration before heading for the back.
F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III vs. FIRECHILDF. Fonzworth MacCappington comes out on the ramp first complete in kilt and accompanied by the Queen’s Royal Hussars playing MacCappington to the ring. FFM enters the ring to the jeers of the crowd with Lance assists his master in the ring, and then motions for quiet. MacCappington takes a mike from the referee (after Lance has wiped it down) and begins to talk.
"My poor, adoring public. It seems that I must address some issues I have been accused of. Let me state this now, and for the record. I was not responsible for the death of Firechild's father. But I must observe that it seems that despite rumors t the contrary, and by that I mean that his mother was reputed to supplement her income on her back, (Lance guffaws loudly, as MacCappington smirks) Firechild is indeed his Daddy's son. I know this because when Firechild whined like a child as I beat him down last week, he put me in mind of his father as he plead for his miserable hide as my associates chastised him for assaulting my august person, all those years ago. Furthermore, it seems that like his father, Firechild cannot control his temper or manner, thus proving himself to be a base born, witless cur, thoroughly unworthy of sharing the ring with the likes of ....."
At this point Firechild jumps the barricade, having sprinted through the crowd, and slides into the ring as MacCappington backs away and frantically tries to get his ornate ring robe off. Lance gets between Firechild and his master, but Firechild smashes his nose in with a brutal head butt and the butler goes down like a sack of bricks, as Firechild advances on MacCappington. MacCappington throws the robe in Firechild's face as the bell rings, and rolls down to the outside. Firechild tosses the robe aside and follows MacCappington around the ring, and then back in but MacCappington meets him with stiff kicks as he slides into the ring. MacCappington follows up his advantage with a vicious knee drop to the small of the back, then stretches Firechild with a bow & arrow lock, then drops him back onto the ring. Before Firechild can get his wind back, MacCappington drops a BRUTAL elbow across the back of his head, and slaps on a Cross face. Firechild is too close to the ropes, however but MacCappington uses the full five count of the referee before releasing the hold. MacCappington walks away, and is clearly talking smack with fragments coming over the mike "hot headed....idiot....unworthy." He almost casually drags Firechild into the middle of the ring and starts to apply the elevated Texas Cloverleaf. However Firechild presses up and reaches back and grabs MacCappington's arm, dragging him down for a pinning combination for a one count. MacCappington rolls to his feet, enraged, only to see Firechild kip up and charge forward, aiming a Power Slide at his face. MacCappington rolls to the side, sending Firechild careening straight into the referee! The official goes down like a felled tree, but Firechild doesn’t give him a second glance, blocking MacCappington's sucker punch and kicking him in the gut. Firechild hooks MacCappington for the DevilDriver and drops him in the ring. With the referee out, Firechild laughs and rolls to the outside and rummages under the ring, bringing back a length of steel chain. MacCappington is just coming to as he gets into the ring, and Firechild wraps it around MacCappington's neck, then drives his knee into his back, wrenching the neck of the Richest Superstar in the OOWF. However, as Firechild is distracted, Voltage and Ecosystem slide into the ring and nail him in the back with stereo dropkicks. As Firechild is stunned, Ecosystem slaps him in the Anaconda Vice and Voltage climbs the turnbuckle ready to deliver an Electrocution. However Firechild manages to wriggle free as Voltage comes off the top, meaning he smashes Eco in the midriff. Firechild rolls to his feet and grabs a hazy Voltage and tosses him over the top rope. Ecosystem is writhing in pain on the floor, and Firechild jumps high and nails a nasty Ong-Bak double knee drop on him as he lies on the mat, then rolls him out of the ring. Firechild advances across the ring and grabs MacCappington who is just getting to his feet and kicks him in the face, then hooks him for a Wings of the Phoenix. However, Donovan Viper has rolled into the ring and claimed Firechild's dropped steel chain, wrapped it around his fist and nails Firechild in the back of the head with his patented chain wrapped Death Elbow! Firechild's lights go out and MacCappington gets to his feet as the Defenestrators slide back in. MacCappington bids them hold Firechild up and he nails him with an evil kick to the balls. Blood seeps down Firechild's forehead from the Death Elbow as MacCappington directs his minions to visit more harm upon Firechild, callously kicking the downed referee in the head to ensure that he doesn't interfere. However as Voltage aims a chair shot at the near-unconscious Firechild, Concrete TG slides into the ring, grabs the chair off him and throws it at Ecosystem. Voltage is so surprised he is laid low by the Long Arm of the Law in no time, and Viper is so tuned, that Firechild manages to smash him in the face with the back of his head. Firechild staggers forward, in quite a lot of pain (due to the Death Elbow injury) as Concrete jumps to his feet and dodges MacCappington's wild swing, which connects with the onrushing Ecosystem. Viper goes for Firechild, who ducks and throws him over the top rope, just as Concrete does the same to Ecosystem (Voltage has rolled down to hurt on the floor.) MacCappington again swings for Concrete, and this one connects but Firechild lays into him and whips him across the ring, dropping him with a spear on the way back. Firechild and Concrete stand tall in the ring, and Firechild stoops to pick up a chair, but Concrete shakes his head. Firechild seems conflicted, only to see Viper grab Concrete's feet and drag him to the outside. As Firechild goes to go to Concrete's aid, MacCappington grabs him from behind and rolls him up (using the ropes for leverage) just as the referee comes to, and counts the 1-2-3.
WINNER in 16:18 is F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III!
DEFENESTRATORS vs. BEST FRIENDS FOREVERVolt and Eco powder to the floor upon the BFF entrance. Deliberate start at the bell, Voltage looks to lock up with Alt, but backs away last minute. Volt goes in again, but backs away again, irritating Alt. Volt goes back one more time, but just as he goes to lock up, Voltage calls the ref in to check Alt for weapons. The ref begins to check him, and Volt with a cheap shot, but Alt BLOCKS it and decks Voltage with a stiff right. Alt goes after him and beats him back into a neutral corner. Volt goes to the eyes to break, and bulldogs him out of the corner. Quick tag to Eco, but Eco misses an elbow drop, and Alt arm drags him out of his boots... right into the BFF corner. Eco begs off Harris, and Alt dropkicks him from behind and HH gets a sucker punch in then, which FFC3 objects to. BFF control things in the corner and HH comes in to deal with Eco. Suplex and delayed elbow drop get two. Eco tries to crawl away, but HH drags him back and pulls him to his feet. Harris winds up... eyepoke. Inverted atomic drop. Another. And another, and Eco falls backward into the corner and Volt gets a tag. Volt charges in, but Harris just sidesteps him and dumps him thru the ropes and to the floor, and the Defenestrators regroup with FFC3. Harris makes the mistake of following out and trying to force the action, and FFC3 gets a shot in, and when HH turns to deal with him, Eco strikes from behind. Back in, and Voltage works Harris over. Knees in the corner into a butterfly suplex. Single arm DDT into a cross arm breaker, and Volt stretches to make the tag to Eco. Eco measures Harris with a knee drop to the solar plexus, then stays on the arm. HH fights to his feet, but Eco uses the hair to take him back down. Harris goes to the ropes instead. Eco drags him up by the arm for an Irish whip, but Harris reverses with a backdrop. But Volt makes a blind tag and sneaks in with a high knee to the shoulder. Volt stomps the hell out of the shoulder, then snaps it off the top rope. FFC3 with a shot with the cane, and of course, he plays innocent when confronted by the ref. Volt with a top rope knee drop to the shoulder for two. Tag to Eco, but the double team fails, as Eco decks Volt by mistake, and Harris makes the HOT TAG TO ALT!! CA in a house of fire, and sends FFC3 flying off the apron. Eco charges, but gets back dropped to the floor. SPINAL CONTUSION for Voltage. One, two, but Eco pulls the ref out of the ring. Referee Creech and Eco bicker on the floor, allowing Harris to come off the top with the #1 DOUBLE AXEHANDLE IN THE OOWF~! FFC3 sneaks in the ring and dumps Alt to the floor, then bails back out. Harris sees this and gives chase around the ring, but Voltage cuts him off when FFC3 cuts back thru the ring. Voltage looks for the ELECTRIC SHOCK, but Harris blocks it with a head butt, then grabs him for the TO BE EDITED IN LATER~! But MacCappington hops on the apron and DRILLS Harris in the face with the handle of the cane, right in front of the ref's face, and Creech has no choice but to call for the bell.
WINNERS by DQ at 14:55: BFF
LD WILLIAMS vs. CAPELLANIntense collar and elbow tie-up to start, then LD shoves Capellan down. Cap rolls through, shrugs as if to say he isn’t intimidated, and offers the test of strength. LD accepts. Double knuckle-lock, then Cap uses a high kick to free the right hand and goes behind for a hammerlock. LD slaps his shoulder a couple of times and looks for the reversal, but Cap somersaults over and maintains the hold, so Williams opts to simply power out and hit a stinging slap. Cap’s head rocks back, but he only grins and fires back with a slap of his own. Another blow from Williams leads to trading forearms and elbows in the middle of the ring. LD gets the edge and whips Cap into the ropes, but Capellan grabs the ropes, and when LD goes for the clothesline, Cap ducks and sends him over the top rope to the floor. Cap hops the ropes as Williams climbs slowly to his feet. SECOND-ROPE MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR~! Both men are down, and the ref slides out to check on them, but Williams somehow gets to his feet first. Noticing Cap holding his ribs, LD whips Capellan into the steel steps. A couple of loud chops follow, then Williams hits a brutal stalling suplex that drapes Cap right over the guardrail. LD looks for a running big boot to follow, but Cap manages to roll out of the way and Williams gets his leg caught over the barrier. Cap drops an elbow on Williams exposed knee, then backs up a little. STEPPING ENZUGIRI OFF THE BARRIER! Williams staggers back and the back of his head slams on the ring post. Cap, still getting to his feet and grimacing at the pain in his ribs, doesn’t see the impact. He turns and rolls the possibly concussed Williams back into the ring, but is stopped by the referee, who DID see what happened. A confused Cap backs off as the Ref checks on a non-responsive Williams. Canadian Dragon runs down to ringside to check on his former partner as the Ref tries to determine if Williams can even continue the match. He raises the hand once – it drops lifelessly. Twice. Thre -- Williams clenches the fist! LD slowly to his feet, though his eyes are glassy enough for him to be a Randy Orton zombie minion. Cap looks concerned and makes "maybe we should call this off for your safety" noises, but Williams suggests Cap's a piece of feminine anatomy. Capellan shrugs and elbows Williams in the face. LD staggers back, swinging fists confusedly. One fist connects with the ref. OMG REF BUMP! LD thinks he's flattened Cap and gives a cry of triumph. Cap just looks confused -- which is right when Canadian Dragon slides into the ring and waffles him with a steel chair. Cap goes down like a hundred dollar hooker. CD slides out, the ref recovers his sense, and Williams gets his bearings enough to cover Cap, unaware of his ex-partner's interference. 1, 2, 3.
WINNER in 8:55 - L D WILLIAMS!
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF Onslaught Championship Anything Goes MatchMoreland comes to the ring first, ready for a fight. Phantos and Lucios wait at the top of the ramp. He takes a few minutes to make sure ring side is littered with debris from around the ring. Moosehead Jack comes out next, he has the Onslaught title wrapped around his waist, a barbed wire baseball bat in one hand, and his other fist taped up for a Taipei death match. He walks right past Phantos & Lucios barely noticing them. I am betting we don’t see a scientific masterpiece here. Moose steps between the ropes, drops the bat and title and charges across the ring and nails Moreland in the face with the Taipei fist, immediately opening a gash on his head. Moreland, to his credit, barely takes a step backward. He hammers right back at Moose, getting in some stiff punches to Moose’s face. The two of them tumble out of the ring to the floor and Moreland grabs a cookie sheet and warps it over Jack’s head. Moose falls to his knees and Moreland grabs a cheese grater and tips Jack’s head back and rakes it repeatedly and violently across Moose’s forehead, opening numerous cuts. So we are about a minute into the match and both men are bleeding profusely. Moreland grabs a chain from ringside and wraps it around his fist and hammers at the gashes on Jack’s head opening them further. Moose staggers toward the ring post and Moreland gives him a high knee to the back, sending him face first into the steel. Moreland wraps the chain around Jack’s neck and chokes him around the ring post. With the air cut off, Moose claws at his neck, and the blood spurts out of his forehead. For whatever reason, Moreland releases the chain and pulls a gasping Moose to his feet and scoops him up and slams him on the mat, then climbs to the apron and tries a leg drop with a chair off the apron, but Moose moves out of the way, and Moreland hits the floor hard. Jack recovers first and grabs the chair and waits for Moreland to get to his feet and SLAMS him in the face with it. Moose then mounts Moreland and hammers his head with the Taipei fist until Moreland’s face is a mask of blood. Jack pulls the horribly bloody Moreland to his feet and slams his head into the announce table, then grabs a bottle and smashes it into his face, then drops him on the floor with a DDT. Jack rummages under the ring and finds one of those boards with barbed wire stapled to it, then slams it down on Davin, who writhes in pain. Moose climbs to the apron and drops off of it onto the board which splinters, sending a piece of wood through Moose’s forearm, and tangling both men in razor sharp barbed wire. The two of them continue the fight anyway, each punch thrown, every movement opening a new cut. Finally after several minutes of hell, the two free themselves from the wire and are horribly bloody. Moreland catches Moose with a clothesline, and rolls him back into the ring and follows. He pulls Moose to his feet and peppers him with a couple of shots to the jaw, then grabs the barbed wire bat and nails Moose right between the eyes. Moose falls to the mat and Moreland covers, but can only get a two count as Moose somehow manages to rolls his shoulder. Moreland pulls Moose to his feet, both men are moving slowly now. Moreland drops Moose again with a short arm clothesline, then with rage in his eyes, gives Moose a couple more shots to the ribs with the barbed wire bat. Tommy pulls Moose to his feet and goes for the REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Moose shoves him to the ropes and catches him with a HEARTPUNCH! Moreland drops to one knee and Moose unwraps the barbed wire from around the bat and wraps it around Davin’s throat and throws him over the top rope! The barbs dig into the side of Moreland’s neck as he struggles. He manages to free himself from the noose with an elbow to Moose’s jewels. Moose staggers back into the ring and falls to his knees and Moreland slowly pulls him self under the bottom rope. The mat is stained with blood from the two men. Moreland pulls Moose to his feet, but Moose turns and catches Moreland in the eyes with a rake of the Taipei fist, then hammers him with not one, not two, but three heart punches. Moreland falls to the mat gasping and twitching. Moose falls to his knees and stares at Moreland with rage, then makes the throat slash gesture that usually signals the ji-endo. Moose slowly gets to his feet and starts toward Moreland, when….someone is in the ring…..IT’S CONCRETE TG! Crete has CHAIR!!! And it’s wrapped in barbed wire! Crete raises the chair and SLAMS it down on Moose’s skull. Moose falls to the mat and his eyes roll back in his head. Crete stands over him for a moment, then turns and tosses CHAIR out of the ring, then kneels down next to Moose, grabs him by the hair and pulls his head up and SPEAKS:
Now we finish thisCrete lets Moose’s head go and he leaves the ring. Moreland watches what has just happens, staggers over to Moose, pulls him to his feet, and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, covers, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 14:49 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Davin Moreland
Moose remains motionless in the middle of the ring, Moreland grabs his title and tries to get to his feet, but collapses, so Phantos and Lucios come to the ring and help Moreland to the back. After several minutes Moose pulls himself to the ropes and leans against them dazed and still bleeding heavily. Crete comes back out to the top of the stage and they have the epic stare down of mutual hatred.
LOS DEFENESTRATORS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchP&L are out first, and after his war with Moose, Moreland is obviously not at their side. The new champs are out second, and make a huge production of climbing each of the turnbuckles to pose with the belts. In fact, this goes so long that P&L finally lose patience and rush them. Clubbing forearms to the back bring down members of Los Def off the turnbuckles, where they promptly eat stereo release suplexes. The ref calls for the bell and demands that one of P&L get out of the ring. Phantos complies. The brief respite gives Los Def a few seconds to recover, and when Lucios comes over to grab Ecosistema, Eco pulls him down into a schoolboy. Lucios kicks out at two and rolls to his feet. Eco also springs up and spreads his arms in a pose of near Orton levels of douchiness. Lucios growls and charges. Eco ducks under an attempted clothesline, elbows Phantos off the apron, then slingshots back under another clothesline to tag El Voltaje. Remonstrations in Spanish as it appears V isn't that keen to come in given the murderous expression Lucios is wearing. V finally comes in. Lucios charges for a third time. Voltaje ducks it like Eco did, but L's not going to be fooled a third time. He suddenly slams on the breaks, hooks V's head, and delivers a THUNDEROUS DDT. Cover gets two before Eco's in to break it up with a kick to the back. Eco pulls V back into their corner. Broad gestures from V of "See? I told you I didn't want to come in." before Eco slaps his chest for the tag. Lucios also tags out and we see Eco and Phantos run through a series of even, back and forth mat wrestling and fancy takedowns. It's all very crisp and technical and eats up a good few minutes before Eco, who has been the more active of the two, starts to tire. He looks for a tag to Voltaje, but Phantos cuts him off by grabbing the wrist, then forces one knee to the crowd and snatches the ankle. P looks for a figure four but Eco rolls through and delivers a STIFF kick to the face. Phantos is down clutching his jaw, so Eco tags Voltaje and the two hustle over for a double-team Russian leg sweep. When they haul Phantos up, his mouth and chin are bright red with blood. Russ raves about the jaw-breaking force of Eco's kick and how many of P's teeth might be missing. The words "blood pack" never enter anyone's head, I'm sure. V covers after the leg sweep, but Phantos gets a foot on the ropes. Voltaje looks for a headlock, but can't get a good grip due to the blood and Phantos pushes him off. So V shrugs and lands a punch on the jaw to send P staggering away. The ref remonstrates about the closed fist, but really - when was the last time anyone got disqualified for punching? Voltaje looks to follow up the advantage, but Phantos hawks up a massive loogie of blood and saliva right into his eyes. Even with a mask, that's gotta be nasty. Voltaje staggers around trying to scrape his eyes clear and Phantos staggers over for the tag to Lucios. V finally cleans himself up, turns, bumps nose first into Lucios's chest, and promptly flops back onto his ass. Lucios looks for a stomp but V rolls out of the way and sweeps the legs. Cover and a snatch of the tights gets two before the big man throws him off. Lucios whips V into the ropes and clotheslines him down on the rebound, then hauls him up and sends him into the corner with Phantos. P 'just happens' to be doing some stretches at the time and accidentally forearms V in the face. Lucios puts V in one of those silly delayed vertical suplex things, but makes up for it by dropping Voltaje RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. Cover! 1! 2! Eco breaks it up with a kick to the back, then eats a springboard dropkick from Phantos and rolls to the outside. Lucios goes for the kill on Voltaje but then sees Eco grabbing a chair on the outside. A heavily bandaged Moreland runs to the ring and tries to stop him and Eco waffles him with the chair. Lucios gives a roar of anger and border tosses V right onto Eco. Both of Los Def are down as Lucios does a Batista-like rope shake of rage. It's only when the ref's count reaches 4 that P&L realize the danger and go to the outside to drag Los Def back in. Eco and V aren't feeling cooperative though and there's a brawl on the outside over Moreland's fallen body. Soon enough, the ref's count reaches 10 and the match is over, though the fight sure isn't.
WINNERS BY COUNT-OUT in 10:31 - PHANTOS & LUCIOS! LOS DEFENESTRATORS retain the TAG TEAM TITLES.
OUTBACK JACK vs. KNIFE vs. CANADIAN DRAGON – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchOBJ enters first, and rolls into the ring, climbs the turnbuckle and downs a beer at each corner (unlike Austin, OBJ does NOT dribble half of it down his chin, OBJ drinks down the WHOLE can!), then grabs a microphone and stands in the middle of the ring. He raises the Intercontinental title high, holds the mike to his mouth and lets loose the most raucous belch ever heard on international TV. "That's Australian for bring it on!"
Canadian Dragon sprints out, before the tech guys have time to queue up his music and slides into the ring. Jack drops the mike and meets Dragon in the middle of the ring. They exchange blows, and Dragon tries to sweep Jack's legs away but Jack lifts his leg, then drops, fixing Dragon in a leg lock, which he quickly segues into the Croc Hunter. Dragon is in trouble, but at this point the Knife slides into the ring, bounces off the ropes and nails Jack between the eyes with a slingshot dropkick. OBJ rolls away as Knife gets to his feet, again bounces off the ropes and then drops a hard knee across Dragon's shoulder, pulling it back. OBJ gets to his feet, trying to clear blood out of his eyes and swings at Knife, who rolls away, gets behind Jack and hits a Backcracker for 1-2! NO! Dragon breaks the pin. OBJ rolls out of the ring as Knife and Dragon get to their feet and eye each other warily. Knife leans in to lock up, but Dragon kicks him in the leg, and follows up with a flurry of kicks. Knife is staggered against the ropes, and Dragon whips him across the ring, and grabs him on the way back and hits a speed assisted Canadian Destroyer for 1-2 NO! OBJ breaks up the pin and kicks Knife out of the ring. Dragon is getting to his feet and Jack levels him with a clothesline. Jack follows up by jumping on Dragon and laying in a series of vicious blows, before getting up and bouncing off the ropes, to go for an elbow drop. Dragon rolls away and gets to his feet as a winded Jack gets back up. Dragon pokes Jack in the eye, then kicks him stiffly, straight in the knee. Jack goes down on one knee, and Dragon nails a Throwback, and holds on, lifting it into the Dragon sleeper! Jack is in trouble in the middle of the ring, but Knife slides back in, holding the IC title and aims a blow at Dragon's head. Dragon matrix-bends backwards to avoid the blow, but as he straightens out, Knife nails him with a Slash Kick and aims a Stab at his head. Jack has just gotten to his feet, and Dragon drags hi9m in the way of the Stab, and Jack takes it in the side of the head and goes down, his lights apparently out. Dragon attacks Knife from behind as he watches Jack fall, but Knife is fresher and ducks his kick and nails a Backcracker for 1-2 NO! Knife gets to his feet and looks to the heavens for guidance, but Dragon rolls to his knees and pokes Knife in the eye! Knife rolls backwards, and Dragon quickly kips up and nails a standing moonsault to level Knife, then climbs to the top rope. He signals the Dragonsault, and takes to the air, nailing Knife with the move. The referee slides over and counts 1-2 NO! Dragon is pulled off Knife by Capellan who is on the outside. Dragon is livid and stands at the ropes shouting at Capellan who smirks as OBJ rolls Dragon up for the 1-2-3!
WINNER and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, in 12:00 is OUTBACK JACK!
STANK vs. DONOVAN VIPER – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchDonovan Viper is out first, and alternates between pacing and warming up as Stank makes his way to the ring. Stank holds the belt high before handing it to referee Sterling Glaw, who shows it to Viper and calls for the bell. Viper approaches for a lockup, but Stank grabs him around the waist and throws him with an overhead suplex. Viper rolls to his feet and glares as Stank taunts him to try again. Viper moves in and feints before going low, kicking out Stank’s leg. Stank drops to one knee and Viper drives a knee into his skull. As he falls, Stank grabs Viper’s leg and pulls him over with a leg whip.
Both men get to their feet and this time they do circle and lock up. Stank has the size advantage and forces Viper back to the corner. He hits a number of forearm shots, then pulls Viper out of the corner and spikes him with a DDT. He covers, but Viper kicks out at two. Stank pulls Viper off the mat and rocks him with a series of right hands. He pulls Viper onto his shoulders for the Stank-U, but Viper shifts his weight and hooks Stank’s neck, reversing into a reverse DDT. He hits the ropes and drops a leg across Stank’s throat before rolling him over and cinching in the Viper Lock. Stank struggles for several minutes and manages to get to one knee. With a roar of pain, he lurches to his feet and flips Viper off his back before collapsing to the mat. Viper is first to his feet and attacks Stank as he starts to get up. He drives an elbow into Stank’s head and stomps him. Viper pulls him up and throws him to the corner. Viper runs in for a Death Elbow, but Stank moves and Viper hits the turnbuckle. Stank sprints for the ropes and rebounds as Viper stumbles out of the corner. Stank hits him with a lariat, and takes both men over the ropes to the floor. Both men take a few moments to stir, and Stank is the first to his feet. He grabs Viper and drives his head into the ring post, then slings him into the railing. Stank moves in, but Viper catches him with a kick to the midsection. Viper goes for a DDT, but Stank lifts him up and drives his back into the railing. Stank and Viper exchange punches until Viper notices that Sterling has counted to eight and dives into the ring. Sterling breaks the count, but Stank hooks Viper by the ankle and drags him back out of the ring.
After a series of chops, Stank goes for an Irish whip. Viper attempts to reverse, but Stank plants himself and pulls Viper back, locking on a sleeper hold. Viper grabs his head and drops, stunning Stank and forcing him to let go. Viper slides into the ring to break the count again, then steps out onto the apron. He jumps off and hits Stank with a double axe handle, then drags him toward the commentary tables. Stank shoves him off and tries to take him down, but Viper levels him with a Death Elbow. Viper picks Stank up and slugs him, then rolls him onto the Algerian announce table. Viper climbs up as well and sets up the Sidewinder, but Stank blocks and drives Viper through the table with an STO.
Neither man is moving, and Sterling Glaw comes out to check on them. Satisfied that they’re both breathing, he returns to the ring and starts to count. At four, both men start to stir. At six, they’re on their knees. At seven, Stank elbows Viper in the face and lurches for the ring. He makes it under the ropes at nine-and-a-half, and Sterling calls for the bell at ten.
WINNER by count out at 17:36, and still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Stank.
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