OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Geneva, Switzerland
CARL FROM FRESNO vs. DARLINGMAN (w/Goldie Girl)The Geneva Crowd is clearly whelmed by this upcoming match between Carl from Fresno and Alexander Darling. Expectations are, shall we say, low. However, expectations change slightly when this comes over the sound system:
Hunger Strike vid goes here, I'll fix it in a bit
Out on the stage comes Carl From Fresno, who gets a really positive response. He makes his way to the ring, acknowledging the fans along the journey. Nice of them to give Carl an entrance tonight and not just the jobber non-entrance. Next up is Alexander Darling, and “Prelude 12/21” starts up with the requisite lighting (and the requisite boos). Nothing happens; no movement from the back, nothing. The music is re-started, and again, nothing happens. The already unhappy crowd is not amused by this, and they're shitting all over these events. Suddenly the lights come up, and a different song comes over the sound system:
The crowd reaction is a mixture of “Oh fuck, not this again” and “We're totally laughing at you, not with you”. It's Darlingman, in full Darlingman regalia, and he's trailed by Goldie Girl, whose face is simply priceless. It's clear she'd rather be ANYWHERE else in the World, but every time Darlingman turns around, she's got a big supportive smile on her face. Now the crowd has changed their tune a bit, because this whole situation has an extraordinarily high train wreck potential at this point. Darlingman climbs into the ring and WHOOSH-es around, doing some Super Hero poses and things. Goldie Girl hangs back, giving Darlingman the Vanna White Presentation Pose, with an equally fake smile. Carl From Fresno says something to Junior Hale; probably something like “Let's get this thing going so I can get to catering”. Hale agrees, and he calls for the bell before Darlingman takes off his cape. WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Darlingman spins around when he hears the bell, and gives Carl From Fresno a quality Superhero Pose. Carl gives Darlingman a quality right cross to the point of the chin. Darlingman falls on his ass, but quickly gets up, and getting most of a Dropkick which sent Carl back 4 or 5 steps. Darlingman...tries to fly? He sort of dives at Carl with a Flying Burrito but comes up about 5 feet short. Carl is nonplussed. Darlingman again scrambles to his feet and jumps at Carl...and Carl GOOZLES Darlingman! The crowd goes batshit! CHOKESLAM from Carl From Fresno! He makes the Diamond Sign and starts to wave Darlingman to his feet. Goldie Girl is SCREAMING to Darlingman from the apron; it sounds a lot like “LOOK OUT”. Alas, Darlingman doesn't look out, and Carl From Fresno tries for a Not Too Shabby Diamond Cutter, but Darlingman shoves Carl off and...locks in a Headlock? Whatever. The crowd predictably shits on this, no matter how much Darlingman tries to sell that this is an actual move, the crowd isn't buying. Carl From Fresno clearly hears this from the crowd, and reverses into a sweet Side Suplex. Darlingman landed on the back of his head, hard, but scrambles to his feet anyway. Bad idea. Carl is in perfect position to hit the NOT TOO SHABBY DIAMOND CUTTER! Carl covers, and the crowd is in shock! 1...2...3! What an upset!!
WINNER in 4:12 by PINFALL...Carl From Fresno!
“Hunger Strike” takes a minute to his the sound system, because they're certainly not used to playing it twice in the sound truck. Carl sprints up the ramp as he waves to the crowd. Probably for one, to get to catering before anyone else, and for two, he wants to get out of there before they can reverse the decision for whatever reason. Goldie Girl runs into the ring to check on Darlingman who has already stood up, and is saluting the fans for some reason as they shit (obviously) all over him. It takes several seconds for Goldie Girl to convince Darlingman to head back up the ramp.
ANDERS DENIAL vs. NAYRNayr is announced first and sprints to the ring and slides under the bottom rope and climbs to the middle turnbuckle and poses for the crowd. The crowd eats it up and cheers him wildly. The cheers quickly turn to boos as Anders Denial is announced and slowly makes his way to ringside. Anders pauses on the apron for a moment, then steps between the ropes and immediately goes after Nayr. Anders catches him in the corner and tries a clubbing shot to the back of the head, but Nayr uses his speed to duck it and escape out of the corner. Nayr puts on the breaks and turns around and catches Denial with a drop kick to the jaw as he turns around. Denial staggers back into the corner and Nayr sprints in and tries a monkey flip out of the corner, but Denial lands on his feet and turns toward Nayr. Nayr runs out of the corner and Anders lunges at him, but Nayr slides between his legs, gets to his feet behind him and catches him with a spinning leg lariat that rocks Denial back on his heels. Nayr connects with another drop kick that sends Anders against the ropes, then follows that with a running clothesline that sends Anders over the top rope to the floor. Inside the ring Nayr celebrates as Anders lands on his feet and slams his fists on the apron. Inside the ring Nayr gets a running start and hits Denial with a baseball slide that sends the big man back against the guard rail, then to the floor. Nayr pulls him up then sends him back into the ring and follows him, and covers Denial. Anders powers out at one though. Nayr pulls Denial to his feet and hooks him for a suplex then sets him on the top rope. Nayr climbs up for a superplex, but Denial grabs him by the head and repeatedly slams him in the face with head butts sending Nayr falling off the ropes and back into the ring. Denial climbs down from the ropes and stands in the corner, Nayr gets back to his feet and charges into the corner and tries a flying forearm, but Denial catches him and swats him to the mat with a clothesline choke slam. Nayr struggles to his feet and Denial springs out of the corner and nearly cuts Nayr in half with a spear. Denial gets to his feet and pulls Nayr to his feet and lifts him onto his shoulders and spins Nayr around in an airplane spin, then lets him slide off his shoulders and DRILLS him with a stunner! Nayr’s head snaps back and his eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls to the mat. Denial gets to his feet after a few seconds and heads to the corner and begins the slow chomp and stomp that signals the BUSINESS SIDE! As Nayr makes it to his feet, Denial charges out of the corner and tries the career-threatening chop, but Nayr ducks the move and runs to the ropes, springs on the middle rope and tries a cross body block, but Denial turns and hits Nayr with the BUSINESS SIDE while he is in mid-air! Nayr is turned inside out and crashes into the mat. Denial falls on him and covers, one, two, three.
WINNER in 4:32 – Anders Denial
ECOSYSTEM & TYTAN vs. THIM REYNOLDS & SPIN HANSENThim and Spin are announced separately, Spin first, then Thim, but Spin waits at the top of the ramp for his partner, and they make their way to the ring together, like a good tag team should. They talk briefly in their corner, then Spin leaves the ring, and Thim remains. Their opponents – Ecosystem and Tytan – are announced and make their way to the ring. Tytan has the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title thrown over his shoulder, while Ecosystem wears the Onslaught championship around his waist. They climb into the ring and Eco makes sure Thim gets a good look at the onslaught championship. Thim remains stoic, refusing to let Eco get under his skin. They head to the corner and chat briefly, Eco points at Thim, and Tytan sizes him up for a moment then nods. Looks like he will be the legal man. The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. Thim and Tytan approach each other warily and lock up. The bigger Tytan pushes Thim into the corner and shoves his chin back hard, he is about to drill Thim with a slap across the chest, when Thim kicks the inside of Tytan’s knee, the big man drops to one knee, and Thim drives a knee between his eyes, sending him to the mat. Tytan is stunned for a moment as Thim stands over him yelling for him to get back to his feet. Tytan gets back on his feet and he and Thim lock up, Thim grabs a side head lock, but Tytan almost immediately shoves him to the ropes. On the rebound Tytan catches Thim with a kick to the gut then takes him to the mat with a gut wrench suplex. Tytan reaches out and tags in Ecosystem. Eco springs over the top rope and drops a leg across Thim’s chest, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and connects with a drop kick to the face, then pounces on Thim for the cover, but Thim kicks out at one. Eco pulls Thim to his feet, and we see that Thim’s nose is bleeding quite badly. Eco sends him to the ropes but lowers his head a moment too soon, Thim rebounds and grabs Eco’s head and snaps him back to the mat, then bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across his chest for a two count. Thim reaches out and tags in Spin, keeping on the mat by keeping his boot on Eco’s face. Spin comes into the ring and drops an elbow across Eco’s chest, and covers him, but the count is broken up at two by Tytan. Spin gets to his feet as Tytan is leaving the ring and clotheslines him on the back of the head, sending him over the top rope to the floor. When Spin turns around Eco is on his feet and he tries to catch Spin with a hurracarana, but Spin catches him and hits a power bomb, then quickly flips Eco over and tries to lock on the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, but Tytan is back into the ring. He grabs Spin and pulls him off of Eco and turns and runs Spin into the ring post shoulder first. The only problem is, it’s his corner and Thim tags himself in. The referee is busy getting Tytan out of the ring, and Thim comes in and waits for Eco to get to his feet, then BLASTS him with an enzuguri! Eco hits the mat and Thim covers, but Eco manages to kick out at two. Thim tries to pull Eco to his feet, but Eco hits him with a low blow, then quickly crawls across the ring and tags in Tytan. Eco slides out of the ring and grabs his title and waits by the apron. When the referee is turned back to the action, Tytan grabs Thim and sends him to the ropes, and catches him for a spine buster. Hiding behind the massive Tytan, with the Onslaught title, is Ecosystem. Eco BLASTS Thim with the title and Tytan finishes the spine buster and covers, the referee counts one, two, three!
WINNERS in 13:10 – Ecosystem & Tytan
The crowd boos their disapproval and Spin goes ballistic. Spin is telling the referee that Eco hit Thim with the title. Eco keeps yelling that there is no proof, then Spin notices something, there is blood on the Onslaught title from Thim’s face! Spin points this out to the referee and Eco quickly tries to wipe the blood from the title and hide the evidence, but the referee has seen enough, he confers with the announcer and reverses his decision!
WINNERS in 13:10 – as a result of a disqualification – Spin Hansen & Thim Reynolds
CONCRETE TG vs. MATTEConcrete TG comes out to a host of cheers from the energetic crowd. He waves to the fans coming down the ramp, but like last week, holds back on some of the energy. Matte comes out, surly as ever and ignores the fans.
Front Row Fan #1: OH NO HE'S GOT A GUN AGAIN!
Front Row Fan #2-10: AUGH! *duck*
Front Row Fan #1: Just playing.Matte slaps this fan in the face, and no one seems to mind. He then slides in the ring.
The two wrestlers lock up to kick off the match, Gryphon getting the advantage with a series of arm drags. Matte, frustrated, catches CTG with a hard kick to the head. Matte whips CTG into the ropes and tries to catch him off with a Nevermind DDT to end it fast, but Crete reverses into a back body drop. Matte rolls out of the ring, but Crete gives chase, throwing him back in. As Crete climbs back up the apron, Matte dropkicks him off. Matte goes up to the top rope and lands a flying cross body on Crete! Matte slides back in the ring, looking for a count out win, but Concrete gets back in the ring by the 5 count.
Matte continues putting the boots to Concrete, but Crete hooks the heel into a half Boston Crab. Matte is flailing to get out of the hold, finally pulling in more toward Concrete and managing a kick to the face to loosen the grip. Matte pulls his legs out and flips over, kicking Concrete through the ropes to the floor again. Matte bounces off the opposite ropes, coming with a suicide dive attempt (ZING~!) but CTG manages to dodge the dive and Matte pancakes on the floor. Crete gets on the ring apron and attempts a flying senton onto the dazed Matte, but Matte somehow CATCHES the somewhat larger Gryphon, falling into a power bomb. The referee begins the count, with both wrestlers managing to slide in the ring at eight, breaking the count...
...but then Matte pulls Gryphon back out by his leg. Crete is whipped into the barricade, but Matte's attempted Stinger Splash is reversed by Crete, who throws him into the audience. Concrete climbs atop the barricade and bounds off into the crowd, landing atop Matte and the people attempting to crowd surf him. Matte, cushioned by the fatass fans beneath him. DDTs Concrete into a big bag of Nacho Chips. He lifts Crete up for a pile driver, but Crete reverses and pulls Matte's legs out from under him, slingshotting him into a row of chairs. Crete runs along the seats and goes for an elbow drop on Matte, who rolls out of the way as Crete comes crashing through!
At this point, the frustrated referee finally finishes his ten-count and calls for the bell.
WINNER -- DOUBLE COUNTOUT in 6:43
Concrete lifts himself from the pile of chairs, but Matte still wants to fight, nailing him with an enzuigiri. He doesn't get all of the kick though, and Crete kips up, knocking Matte off balance with a right hand. The two exchange blows as OOWF security comes in to break them up. The crowd boos the security ending the fight, and some fans try to pull the security guards off. Matte manages to get free for a second and swings a haymaker at Crete, but is met with a boot knocking him back to the guards. The two are eventually separated.
PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – No DQ MatchJohnny and AA scatter to the floor at the bell to look for plunder. Phantos & Lucios chase them down though before they can find anything and back into the ring we go. Lucios squashes Johnny in the corner, and Phantos peppers AA with karate kicks and a European uppercut. JA wiggles free and rolls to the apron, but Lucios drags him back in, over the top rope, by his hair. Adrenaline gets bealed across the ring, and Phantos stops his assault on AA long enough to pop Johnny with a roundhouse kick. AA takes down Phantos and mounts him for some punches, but Lucios grabs him by the neck and drops him with a Baldo Bomb. Johnny pulls himself up in the corner and tries to untie the turnbuckle pad, but Lucios drags him away, turnbuckle pad in hand. Johnny hits Lucios with the pad, unaware that he basically hit him with nothing, and Lucios takes his head off with a clothesline instead. AA sees the exposed turnbuckle and sends Phantos for the ride, but Phantos reverses and AA slams on the brakes. Phantos nails AA from behind with a running knee lift, and AA goes tumbling to the floor. AA grabs a chair and slides it in, but Lucios steps on it and kicks it out the other side. AA sees this, grabs another chair and slides IT in, and Phantos does the same thing. AA sees that and grabs a third chair and slides in with the chair, only for P&L to put the boots to him. So much for that. In the fray, Johnny grabs that chair and charges in, but Phantos moves out of the way, and Johnny hits the top rope instead and catches himself in the face on the rebound. Phantos rolls him up, but AA, in the process of selling a punch from Lucios, manages to break up the pin. AA begs off and crawls between the ropes, opting to slow down Lucios with an eye gouge. AA grabs the tag rope and chokes him out... but the rope breaks, leaving AA with a piece of rope in each hand. Lucios clobbers Capps off the apron. Johnny tries a Van Daminator on Phantos, but Phantos just catches the chair and tosses it aside. Johnny comes up short on the kick, and Phantos catches him with a tiger suplex. Bridge for the pin, but Johnny kicks out. AA staggers around on the floor and comes across a monitor at the table. AA sees Lucios coming around the corner, and AA rears back... but sees that Razz has been watching the Mets/Dodgers game, so AA stops to watch as well, and Lucios drills him with a shoulder block, breaking the monitor sending AA over the table and right into Ross and Razz's laps. Johnny pulls out a roll of quarters from his tights, but he squeezes them so hard that they break in his hand, and coins go everywhere. A homeless guy from the crowd rushes the ring to pick them up and he's hauled off in quick order by security. Lucios drags AA back into the ring, and AA pulls out some mace and sprays it right in Lucios' face. But Lucios no sells, causing AA to check the can, which reads ACME Pepper Spray. Capps flings it into the crowd in disgust, and Lucios hits him with a spinning belly to belly suplex. Phantos pops Johnny with a super kick, sending him to the floor, and the ROCKET LAUNCHER finishes Capps.
WINNERS in 9:46: PHANTOS & LUCIOS
TEAM FUEL vs. IHOP – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title MatchMetallica’s Fuel kicks in, and Firewoman leads the way as she, Bryce Larson & Chris Evans make their way out. They stop at the edge of the stage to pose with the titles, when IHOP comes running out from the back, wielding chairs! Chair shots to Evans (from Skurge) and Firewoman (from Amnesiac) send both flying off of the stage and to the floor down below. Neither is moving from the crash. Larson turns around to see what fly crashed into his back, and sees that it was a chair shot from Solly. Before he can do anything, Skurge nails Bryce in the face with a chair shot, and he falls backwards off the stage, too!
OOWF medical staff is out to check on all three members of FUEL on the floor, and security is pulling IHOP to the back, preventing further attacks. Lucky has joined the staff on the floor, and is worried about FUEL’s status. All three are moving, but the staff is bringing out stretchers as a precaution. Needless to say, the match is thrown out.
WINNERS in 0:00 – NO CONTEST (IHOP prematch attack on FUEL, no match)
As security tries to separate the two teams, GM the Eric makes his way out to the top of the stage. The fans cheer, and once the wrestlers see him, they calm down and wait to hear what he has to say.
GMtE: You know, there is nothing I like more than a good old fashioned fight. Hell, it’s what the fans want to see! <the crowd roars> But, the fact remains that I cannot have my champions being attacked with chairs. I will not tolerate vigilante justice in the OOWF! <the crowd boos this> Now, now, I know what you are thinking, but I want everyone to know that I am a fair man. I show no favoritism, except when it is warranted. And since champions bring me money and ratings, well I favor the champions. So, you may ask yourselves, what is this all leading to? Very simple.
Next week, on MidWeek Mayhem, Live! From Bucharest Romania! <cheap pop> We will hold the first annual OOWF Invitational Campeonas de Trios tournament! That’s right! Eight teams all vying to win the tournament, and get a title shot in a match of their choosing, against the Campeonas de Trios champions, Team FUEL. The seeding will be announced later this evening, now, let’s get back to the show!KZ vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match“Thunderstruck” plays and Empty team enters the area. They ignore the cheers of the fans and walk the aisle and slide into the ring. Feed of Gator runs the ropes to warm up, while Back of Beyond Jack stands in the middle of the ring and glares up the aisle. No music plays as the World Tag Team Champions walk onto the stage. Moosehead Jack and L.D. Williams stand at the top of the ramp and stare at the ring. Without breaking eye contact with the champions, Empty Team slide out of the ring and start up the aisle. kz drop their belts, and Moose reaches back through the curtain and grabs his barbed wire bat. Before the inevitable happens, General Manager The Eric O'Mac storms back onto the stage.
GMTEOM: “No, no, no, no, NO! We are NOT doing this again! Brutal matches, no contests, normally it's all good. But with you four it's just predictable. I put you four in a match – even an Onslaught rules match – and it's going to end up a clusterfuck. It's not entertaining anymore. It doesn't impress the fans and, more importantly, it doesn't impress me. I've had enough. SECURITY!”
The stage around Eric quickly fills up as several dozen men in black security uniforms flood through the curtain.
GMTEOM: “If you four are going to insist on maiming each other, then let's get it over with. These men are going to stand on this stage and make sure that the only people who come through that curtain during this match are replacement referees.”
Inside the ring, Angelo Barros pales.
GMTEOM: “No gimmicks. No elaborate setup. One fall to a finish. No disqualifications, no count outs, and no interference. I don't care if you kill each other - there will be a winner. One way or another, this feud ends tonight. Ring the damn bell.”As the bell sounds, Moose tosses the bat to Williams and launches himself at OBJ, tackling him off the side of the ramp and into the crowd. Williams fields the bat one-handed and buries it in Gators stomach, then hits a DDT that drives the wire deeper into Gator's flesh. Williams rolls Gator over, braces one foot on his chest, and yanks the wire free. Gator gets to his hands and knees and Williams lines up another shot, but Gator lashes out and kicks his ankle. Williams stumbles, allowing Gator to get his feet under him and take Williams down with a spear. They roll down the ramp exchanging punches, and with the barbed wire bat stuck between them.
In the crowd, OBJ and Moose roll among the fans, trading punches. They separate, and OBJ gets up first, grabbing a chair from a nearby fan. He swings for the fences and slams it into Moose's skull. Moose stares at him and laughs as blood starts to pour from a cut over his eye. A second chair shot drops Moose to one knee, but he quickly staggers back to his feet, still laughing. OBJ takes a third swing and Moose leans into it, head butting the chair! Moose starts to fall, but grabs a chair of his own, spinning around and slamming it into the side of OBJ's head as he falls. For long moments neither man moves, then Moose rolls over and slowly forces himself to his feet. OBJ does the same and as soon as he’s upright he roars and launches himself at Moose, tackling him into several rows of chairs and spectators and driving him toward the ring.
Gator and Williams finally pry themselves free of the barbed wire and regain their feet. Gator lunges at Williams and drives his spine into the ring post, then shoves him into the ring. Gator rocks Williams with forearms, then takes him down with a suplex. He floats over and covers, but Williams kicks out at two. Gator tosses Williams into the corner and places him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up for a superplex, but Williams fights back and shoves him off, then leaps off the second rope with an elbow drop. Williams covers, but also only gets two.
OBJ drags a bloody Moosehead Jack through the crowd to the ringside barrier, drops him across it stomach-first, and knocks him to the floor with a European uppercut. OBJ climbs to ringside himself, and runs Moose's head into the ring steps. Moose falls into a sitting position and OBJ backs up. Moose falls to the side as OBJ runs in, and the knee intended for his face slams into the steps. OBJ grabs his knee and Moose gets to his hands and knees and chop blocks OBJ's good knee, taking him down. Moose snarls and slams OBJ's wounded knee into the steps, then drapes it across them and stomps on it. He grabs a chair, and slams that into the knee as well. Moose tries to stuff him into the ring, but OBJ rakes the eyes and hobbles away. Moose pursues him and shoves OBJ into the timekeepers table, which is a mistake as OBJ turns around and clangs the bell off Moose's skull.
Inside the ring, Williams gets the better of an exchange with Gator, and sets up the Canadian Destroyer. OBJ throws the timekeeper's hammer and hits him between the eyes, stunning him and allowing Gator to break free. Gator hits a double leg takedown and comes off the ropes with a knee to the face as OBJ slides into the ring. TTFDU send Williams to the ropes and hit a flapjack, but drop him throat-first onto the top rope. OBJ covers and Barros counts One...Two...Moose drags him off and pulls him to the outside.
Moose slides into the ring and faces off with Gator. They circle, and Moose tries to shoot the leg, but Gator drives an elbow into the back of his head. Gator hooks Moose for a DDT, but Moose drops to his knees and hits Gator with a low blow. Moose sends Gator to the ropes, but ducks too soon and Gator leapfrogs him – right into a spine buster from Williams! Williams foregoes the cover when he sees OBJ sliding back into the ring, and stomps on his former partner. kz drag OBJ to his feet, and Williams drops and drives an elbow into his injured knee. Moose goes to the rope and hits a brutal clothesline while Williams holds OBJ's lower leg in place. OBJ screams and clutches his leg.
kz moves in to continue the attack, but Gator dives across his partner. Williams pulls him off, and Gator drives a shoulder into his midsection, lifting him off the mat and driving him into the corner. Gator turns and elbows Moose in the face as he approaches, then continues the attack with punches and kicks until Williams hits him from behind with a double axe handle. Williams pins Gator's arm up and Moose hits the Heart Punch. Moose slides out of the ring as Williams drops Gator against the ropes. Moose reaches under the ring and pulls out a pair of handcuffs, which he tosses to Williams. Williams handcuffs Gator to the ropes and Moose slides a table into the ring. As Williams sets it up, Moose goes back under the ring and comes out with...more barbed wire. OBJ starts to get up, so Williams stomps him back to the mat, then turns and runs a knee into Gator's face.
kz wrap barbed wire around the table, drawing more blood from themselves in the process. They pick OBJ up and throw him onto the table, and Moose punches him in the face until he stops struggling. Gator rages, and nearly tears his own arm off trying to get to his partner, as Moose wraps another piece of the barbed wire around himself and slowly climbs to the top rope, ignoring the pain as the wire digs into his flesh. Barros tries to talk sense into him, but Williams grabs him from behind and pitches him over the top rope. Williams approaches Moose in the corner – Rocket Launcher through the table! Moose lays across OBJ in the wreckage until Mel Creech comes down the aisle and tentatively slides into the ring. He counts One...Two...Three.
WINNERS, and still OOWF Tag Team Champions, in 23:34, kz.
After the match: The crowd looks on in shock as EMTs rush to ringside and slide into the ring. Williams levels the first to approach, and the rest hold back as he pries his partner free from the wire. Moose leans over OBJ for a moment before kz, both bleeding heavily, leave the ring and back slowly up the aisle. The camera focuses on OBJ and painted on his chest in blood are “kz” and the roman numeral “V”.
STANK vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchThe Swiss crowd appears ready for the renewal of this rivalry. They're on their feet and buzzing. They explode with applause as “Pull Me Under” starts, and even more so as Davin Moreland gets onto the stage and makes his way down the ramp. He's got a plastic bag with him, and it's filled with FREE STUFF! T-shirts, Hats, Glow Sticks, Thunderstixx; they all get tossed into the crowd after Davin makes sure all the little kids get something first. Samantha Darling-Moreland stands beside him, not knowing quite what to make of this. He does his Double Jump of Impressive Athleticism into ring, and eggs the crowd on for more cheers. They oblige, but they don't stop when “Skin” starts, and the Intercontinental Champion Stank makes his way down to the ring. He's shaking hands on the way down, but he didn't bring any presents; so some people are irritated by that. Stank climbs into the ring and does some posing for the crowd which they eat up. Stank gives a cursory look over to Davin before handing his belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower. He holds the belt high in the air. This match is for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship, and will have a 15-minute Time Limit. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Stank turns back to Davin, who's standing in the middle of the ring holding his hand out for a handshake. Stank looks at him like he's got 9 heads. Davin is persistent, so Stank decides to humor him so they shake hands; but Stank never takes his eyes off a now-smiling Davin. They lock-up, and it's a stalemate for the most part, but Stank appears to want to try something out. He allows himself to be backed into the corner. Before Hightower can even call for a break, Davin breaks the hold and jogs to a neutral corner. Stank's doing everything he can not to fall down laughing at this point. Hightower calls the two back together and they lock up again. Again it's a stalemate, but Davin is able to work that into an arm-wringer. Stank reverses into an arm-wringer of his own, and continues on into a hammerlock. Davin (as required by law) slaps his shoulder twice, and is able to duck back under into his own hammerlock. Stank gets to the nearest rope and grabs it. Again, Davin breaks immediately and back away. This time Stank does start laughing in spite of himself. Davin doesn't look pleased and starts waving Stank in. Stank obliges with what can only be termed as a quick walk, but he's going fast enough to eat a STEAMBOAT ARM DRAG! Stank is pissed and goes back at Davin again, and ANOTHER STEAMBOAT ARM DRAG! Stank is really unhappy now, although somewhere Ricky Steamboat is smiling.
Stank is given time to get up, and calls for another lockup with Davin. They do, but this time Stank buries a knee in his midsection. This draws a few boos from the marks in the crowd. Stank pulls Davin up for a nicely done Delayed Vertical Suplex, and lands it. Stank covers, that barely gets 1. Stank assists in getting Davin to his feet and WHIPS him into the near ropes, catches him, and hits a WICKED Power Slam. Stank covers again, and this time gets a quick 2 count. Stank pulls Davin up and looks to be trying for an old-school Pile driver, but Davin instead gets his legs around Stank's head, and hits a HURRICARANA! Davin rolls to his feet and waves a stunned Stank in...for another Steamboat Arm Drag! Stank slaps the mat, as he's clearly failing to find the humor here. Stank gets to his feet, but as he gets close to Davin, he eats a Spinning Back Fist, and then a Textbook Dropkick, which sends Stank into the corner. Davin charges, but Stank moves, forcing Davin all the way into the STEEL POST! Stank pulls Davin out, and hits a perfect GERMAN SUPLEX WITH BRIDGE! One...Two...no. Davin was able to kick out, but Stank is on him quickly, locking in a FRONT CHANCERY, to which Stank can be heard saying “How do you like THAT, D? Front Chancery!”
We're here for a minute, as Davin tries to figure out how the hell to counter a front chancery. He manages to roll over to his back as Stank hangs on. Davin bridges up, which draws oohs and ahhs from the crowd. Davin tries for a BACKSLIDE! That got a 2 count. Davin tries for yet another Arm Drag, but Stank grabs Davin's arm and hits a SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE! Stank locks Davin in and gets him up, looking for a Crucifix Power bomb, but Davin slips out the back and hits a Lung blower! Both men are down so Hightower starts the count. He gets to 3 when both men get up, with Davin near the ropes. Stank runs at Davin, but LOW BRIDGE! Stank flies to the outside and hits the floor awkwardly. Davin steps through the ropes to chase; but catches himself, and walks to the other side of the ring and waits. Huh. Hightower is-a-countin' and he gets to 6 before Stank can gather himself enough to get back into the ring. Stank's expecting to be jumped on, and is pretty surprised when he sees Davin watching from across the ring. Hightower calls the two together again.
Another lockup results in another stalemate, and Stank frees himself. He's far enough away to hit some Chop-WHOOs all the way into the corner. Stank jogs back a few steps and goes for a BIG SPLASH in the corner, but Davin moves out of the way. Schoolboy Rollup! 1...2...no! Davin gets to the top rope and waits for Stank to stand before hitting the STEAMBOAT FLYING CROSS-BODY! Stank took the move but rolls it though and he's got Davin pinned! 1...2...NO! Davin is able to escape, but Stank is on him. He grabs Davin and hits a HUGE BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX which sends Davin most of the way across the ring. Stank smiles and turns to pursue. When he does, however, he eats a RUNNING ENZIGURI from Davin! Cover! 1...2...NO! Stank just does kick out, but Davin heads to the top rope again. Maybe for another Flying Cross-Body? We'll never no, because as soon as Davin gets his footing on the top turnbuckle, Stank DIVES for the top rope, which CROTCHES Davin. Stank gets himself up and goes over to Davin. He gets him up and he's looking for Cradle To The Grave!
Russ: The timekeeper has informed us there's less than 15 seconds left in the match!Stank has Davin up, but Davin flips down the front, in perfect position for a Really Good Diamond Cutter! But Stank is able to shove him off! Kick! Wham! Stank's got Davin on his shoulders...STANK-U! 1...2...3! It's over!
WINNER in 14:59 by PINFALL...Stank!
Stank looks to Hightower to confirm that it was, in fact, a win and not a draw. Hightower confirms it and Stank pumps his fist a couple times before grabbing his Intercontinental Championship. He slings it over his shoulder and turns back to head up the ramp, and sees Davin standing there. Stank braces himself, but Davin simply sticks out his hand again. Stank sort of looks to the crowd for guidance here, and they, obviously, encourage him; so Stank SHAKES HIS HAND! Davin grabs Stank's arm and raises it high in the air and points to him before giving Stank a big hand of his own. Davin heads up the ramp with Samantha and Stank stands there...befuddled.
POE vs. THE DEAD – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchThe challenger comes to the ring with the smashing of pumpkins. He high fives some folks along the ramp, enjoying his ride as fan favorite, and enters the ring. He enjoys the ovation, and then the lights dim. Poe appears at the entrance, still no Selena, to "Mauseum and Escape." Poe is deadly serious (HA!) as he hands the World belt to Angelo Barros. Barros shows it to Dead, who nods and smiles, as he's hopping from foot to foot, getting ready. Barros show the crowd and then hands it off to the time keeper. We hear the bell and here we go.
Poe is fast for his size, but he's not fast enough. Dead wastes no time n running the ropes and doing the smart thing that no one ever does with larger opponents. He drop kicks Poe in the legs, which brings him down to one knee. He hits the ropes again, and comes at Poe with a Shining Wizard that knocks him awkwardly backward. with the not-bad ankle leg bent oddly. Dead grabs hold of the other leg, and twists, placing his own foot against Poe's other shin for leverage. Before he can get too much damage, Poe sits up and grabs Dead's mohawk and throws Dead by the hair to the side. Barros admonishes Poe for the hair pull. He sneers at Barros and then goes on the attack. He clobbers Dead with rights, driving him back to the ropes and then trying to push him over. Barros calls for the break, and Poe steps back with another sneer. He grabs Dead's arm, and attempts a short-armed clothesline, but Dead ducks it, getting Poe's arm behind his back in a hammer lock. Poe slaps his shoulder twice, as required by Wrestling Law, and turns his way out of it, reversing into an arm bar on Dead. He keeps turning, and slowly drives Dead down into the mat, using his knee to Dead's back to keep him down. Barros asks Dead about tapping, but its way too soon for that. Dead is able to raise his side up enough that he can then drop the shoulder and roll, flipping Poe off him. He gets to his feet, grabbing his shoulder, and runs over to Poe and stomps him a few times, then bounces off the bottom rope with a moonsault to make a quick pin. Poe kicks easily out at 1. Dead wastes no time, and runs the ropes again as Poe gets to his feet. He dodges the first clothesline, but not the second. Poe grabs him and power bombs him to the mat. He pins, and gets a two count. Dead is up quickly, but has to take some time to catch his breath. He takes about one second too long, Poe grabs his arms and tries to get him into position for the Crucifixion to end this early. But one second is not long enough either, so Dead gets free with a kick to Poe's midsection. He runs back to the ropes, and flies off with a Springboard DDT. He pushes Poe over and goes for the pin, and this time gets a two count.
This time Dead is a little more incredulous for the count, but continues on. He grabs Poe around the chin, and "helps" him up, and tries to set up the neck breaker, but Poe pushes him off into the ropes. Poe backs into the ropes himself, and the two meet in the center. Dead hopes to catch Poe with Close the Casket, but Poe is ready. He grabs Dead's foot and twists it over, getting Dead into a Desert Scorpion. He cranks back on it, and Dead is clearly in pain. Barros asks him for the tap, and Dead shakes his head frantically. He hits the mat in frustration, but also in accordance with Wrestling Law, that doesn't somehow count as a tap. He opens his eyes to see that he's really close to the ropes. If he could just....somehow.....reach....them. He begins to crawl that way. He inches closer........... closer......... Poe keeps cranking on the hold. Dead make another stretch toward the ropes that gets him almost there. Poe suddenly sees what's happening, and drags Dead back toward the center of the ring. A look of pure evil glee spread across Poe's face, as Dead is now trying to remember his chiropractor's phone number. But he has no choice but to try again. He inches closer....... closer..... the crowd is clapping, urging him on. Poe is doing everything he can to keep him from moving, but it's not working. Dead is getting closer. Finally, with a huge display of heart, Dead lunges forward, defying gravity and grabs the rope!! He did it!! Barros calls for the break, and has to count to four before Poe releases it. Poe can't believe it, and wanders the ring a bit in disbelief. Dead rolls out to the floor and tries to collect himself. Barros starts counting again. Dead uses about as much of the ten count as he can and gets back in the ring, just in the nick of time. He runs at Poe, with chops leading the way, and gets him back into the corner. He backs off and runs in with Stinger Splash. Poe crumples, protecting his sternum. Dead grabs his arm, and whips him into the far corner. Dead stands in the middle of the ring, taunting Poe, the crowd totally behind him. Poe gets out of the corner, growls, and charges at him. Dead waits for his moment, then drop toe holds Poe into the ring post...Snake Eyes!! He's feeling pretty good about himself. He turns around, looking for his next move, but he doesn't see Poe, who has recovered. He turns around again, straight into Poe's Hieroglyph! Dead goes down, and Poe makes the pin. One-two...No! but only because Poe grabs Dead's mohawk and pulls him up. He punches Dead in the face a few more times, and gets admonished by Barros. He stops long enough to get Barros off his back, then starts in again. Barros has to interfere a second time, and Poe stands up, towering over Barros. Barros, to his credit, doesn't back down, and doesn't do the chicken shit thing of pointing to the OOWF logo on his uniform. Poe glares at Barros and stomps Dead. Technically, not illegal, so Barros can't do anything. Poe reaches down, grabs Dead by the hair and pulls him up. He gets him up into position, and hits the very very delayed brain buster Obelisk. Dead is out. Poe makes the lazy cover, and Barros counts one, two, three.
WINNER in 21:02 – And Still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion - Poe
After the match, Poe kicks the unconscious body of Dead, smirks, and leaves the ring.
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